Learning a City Gal How to Milk

Learning a City Gal How to Milk.

Hello, Ezry.

Hello.

What you doing down this way?

Well, I just come down here to the grocery store to buy a few provisions and things to take home. Gosh all thunderation, just about keeps me busy nowadays buying provender of one kind or another.

Suppose you heard we had city boarders this summer, did ye?

Yes, I heard tell as how you was taking in summer boarders.

Well, we got them up there, we got the doodles of them. You ought to come up an' see us sometime, Ezry, we do have some of the doggonedest times since them summer boarders come. Well, sir, I had an experience the other night, Ezry, I calculate will last me just about as long as I live.

What were you doing, Silas?

Well, I'll tell ye, I was a-learning one of them city gals how to milk. I had the milk pails and I was a-going out in the barnyard and one of them gals come up to me and wanted to know if I'd learn her how to milk. I told her I reckoned I would, though I didn't think she'd cut much of a caper milking. Well, she went along with me out in the barnyard and I sat her down along side of that brindle cow of ours—you know old Brindle—well, anybody could milk her; she's so dog gone gentle she wouldn't kick a fly off herself. I calculate if you put the milk pail between her legs she'd come pretty near milking herself.

Well, I sot that city gal down alongside of old Brindle and she got hold of one of old Brindle's tits, well, sir, I had to turn around and laugh. She held the tit in her hand for about five minutes...

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Various Artists
- Actionable Offences: Indecent Phonograph Recordings from the 1890s
  - Learning a City Gal How to Milk Time: 1:54
  - The Tapeworm Story Time: 1:52
  - Gimlet's Soliloquy / The Rascal Detector - Manly Tempest Time: 2:33
  - The Whores' Union Time: 1:35
  - Boarding the Folsom / A Few Conundrums Time: 2:30
  - Out of Order - Charley Smith of Kankakee Time: 2:21
  - Did He Charge Too Much Time: 2:37
  - Reilly as a Policeman - Charley Smith of New York City Time: 2:41
  - Sim Hadley on a Racket - Willy Fathand of New York City Time: 2:32
  - Sim Hadley on a Racket - Willy Brown Time: 2:29
  - Michael Casey Exhibiting His Panorama - Willy Smith Time: 2:41
  - Dennis Reilly at Maggie Murphy's Home After Nine O'Clock - Willy Brown Time: 2:42
  - Stroll on Capitol Hill / A Hard Head Time: 2:09
  - The Virtues of Raw Oysters Time: 1:49
  - Jokes, Riddles, Verses, a Limerick, and a Toast Time: 2:24
  - More Verses and Jokes Time: 2:23
  - The Lady's Friend / A Song / The Irishman's Prayer / A Joke Time: 2:02
  - Verses and Songs Time: 2:41
  - Poem: "I Sit Here Thinking, Will, of You" Time: 2:26
  - [Untitled Track] Time: 0:11