Smoking Wiener's Cocky Hash Songs
Smokey Smoking Wiener
To the tune of
Oh I wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Wiener
Oh, I Wish I Were a smokey smoking Wiener,
That is what I'd really like to be-e-ee,
'Cause if I were a smokey Smoking Wiener,
You'd like a wiener plug your cunt with me!
Oh, I Wish I Were a smokey Smoking Wiener,
That is what I'd really like to be-e-ee,
'Cause just like an Oscar Meyer Wiener,
Everyone would love to swallow me.
On Top of Old Smoky
To the tune of
On Top of Old Smoky
(a Smoking Wiener original)
(this part is too be sung by the harriettes)
On top of old Smoky, his manhood aglow,
I lost Smoking Wiener from stroking too slow.
Now, fucking is pleasure and cumming is brief,
And a false-hearted hasher is worse than a thief.
For a hasher will fuck you and drink what you brought,
But a false-hearted hasher will leave you with naught
And the grave will decay you and turn cunts to dust;
One Wiener in a hundred a poor girl can lust.
(this part to be sung by the Hares)
They'll blow you and kiss you and tell you more lies,
Than blowjobs on a hash run or stars in the skies.
So, come all you young maidens and try to mount me,
Never place your privates round a green willow tree.
For the leaves they will whither, and the roots they will
die,
You'll all get infections and never know why.
Oh! Susanna
(a Smoking Wiener original)
I come from Alabama with my shlong down past my knee,
I'm go-in to a Hashing , my true love for to see.
I stroked all night the day I left, my pecker it was dry
My cum so hot You'll freeze to death, Susanna, don't you cry.
Chorus
Oh! Susanna, Oh won't you cum with me,
For I come from Alabama with my shlong down past my knee.
I had a dream the other night, when everything was still;
I thought I saw Susanna dear, a cumming on the hill.
My long hard snake was in her mouth, some cum was in her eye,
Says I, I'm coming in your mouth, Susanna, don't you cry.
I soon will be in New Orleans, and then I'll fool around,
And when I find Susanna, I'll fuck her on the ground.
But if I do not find her, then I will surely die,
And when my cock is buried, Oh, Susanna, don't you cry.
The Hashers go running one by one
To the tune of
The Ants go marching one by one.
(a Smoking Wiener original)
The hashers go running one by one. On-On! On-On!
The hashers go running one by one. On-On! On-On!
The hashers go running one by one,
the little one stops to shoot his cum.
And they all go running down to the ground
To get out of the shite, boom, boom, boom!
2 by 2 - have a screw
3 by 3 - take a pee
4 by 4 - slam a whore
5 by 5 - go muff dive
6 by 6 - pick up tricks
7 by 7 - pinch eleven
8 by 8 - masturbate
9 by 9 - do a line
10 by 10 - get laid again
CUNT, THE MAGIC PUSSY
To the tune of
Puff, The Magic Dragon
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Cunt, the magic pussy lived to be free
And cocklicked in the shiggy mist in a land called Fuck-Me
Little Robby Rubber, he loved that rascal Cunt
And he brought her ropes and real hot wax and other kinky stuff
chorus:
O Cunt, the magic pussy lived by the sea
And cocklicked in the shiggy mist in a land called Fuck-Me
Cunt, the magic pussy lived by the sea
And cocklicked in the shiggy mist in a land called Fuck-Me
Oh and together they would do it on a boat with billowed sail
And Cunt she kept a lookout perched on Robby's giant tail
Noble hares and harriettes would bow whene'er they came
Pirate ships would lower their pants when Cunt called out their
name
chorus
A pussy lasts forever but not so little boys
Kinky things and gold cock rings make way for other joys
One grey night it happened, Robby rubber came no more
And Cunt that mighty pussy, she ceased her fearless roar
Robby's cock was bent in sorrow, pre-cum fell like rain
Cunt no longer went to play along the cherry lane
Without her life-long friend Cunt could not be brave
So Cunt that mighty pussy gladly slipped it in her cave
chorus
Oh, Cunt the magic pussy LIVES by the sea (present tense!)
And cocklicks in the shiggy mist in a land called Fuck-Me
Oh, Cunt the magic pussy LIVES by the sea
And cocklicks in the shiggy mist in a land called Fuck-Me
Hashin in the Woods
To the tune of
BLOWIN' IN THE WIND
(a Smoking Wiener original)
How many trails must a hasher lay down before they call him a
piss-pot?
How many hares must a harriette wet before she gets really hot?
How many times must the cock and balls fly before they're
forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is hashin' in the woods
The answer is hashin' in the woods.
How many beers must a hasher piss before it is washed to the
sea?
How many beers can some people enlist before they're allowed to
go pee?
How many times can a man stroke his head and pretend that she
just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is hashin' in the woods
The answer is hashin' in the woods
How many times must a man lap it up before he can lick a girl
dry?
How many years must one hasher cheat before he can do it on the
sly?
How many down-downs will it take till he knows that too many
hashers are fried?
The answer, my friend, is hashin' in the woods
The answer is hashin' in the woods.
The answer is hashin' in the woods.
Leaving on a Hash Run
To the tune of
LEAVING ON A JET PLANE
(a Smoking Wiener original)
All my flours packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to tank you up and say goodbye
But the trail is breakin', its early morn
The hash is waiting, the're blowin' the horn
Already I'm so thirsty I could cry.
(chorus)
So chase me and cheer for me
Tell me that you'll jeer (??? Leer) for me
Chase me like you really want me so
I'm leavin' on a hash run
I Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, beer, I hate to go.
There's so many times I've laid flour down
So many times I've screwed around
I tell you now, It's the best damned thing
Every place I hash, I think of you
Every Down I do, I do for you
When I come back, I'll wear your cock ring.
(chorus)
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me frig you
Then close your eyes, I'll be on my way.
Dream about the hash to come
When I won't have to hash alone
About the times, I won't have to say,
(chorus)
There Were Three Jolly Hashing (???? Hasher) Men
To the tune of
There were Three Jolly Fishermen
(a Smoking Wiener original)
There were three jolly Hashing men,
There were three jolly Hashing men,
There were three jolly Hashing men,
Hasher, Hasher, men, men, men,
Hasher, Hasher, men, men, men,
There were three jolly Hashing men.
The first one's name was (first name),
The first one's name was (first name),
The first one's name was (first name),
Hasher, Hasher, on, on, on,
Hasher, Hasher, on, on, on
The first one's name was (first name),
The second one's name was (second name),
The second one's name was (second name),
The second one's name was (second name),
Hasher, Hasher, on, on, on,
Hasher, Hasher, on, on, on
The second one's name was (second name).
The third one's name was (third name),
The third one's name was (third name),
The third one's name was (third name),
Hasher, Hasher, on, on, on,
Hasher, Hasher, on, on, on
The third one's name was (third name).
(Number of Hasher verses, above, may be modified to the size of
the group down-down)
They all went down on (insert name of Hare or Harriette),
They all went down on (insert name of Hare or Harriette),
They all went down on (insert name of Hare or Harriette),
They went, They went, down, down, down,
They went, They went, down, down, down,
They all went down on (insert name of Hare or Harriette).
They should have gone down on the beer
They should have gone down on the beer
They should have gone down on the beer
Drink it, Drink it, down, down, down,
Drink it, Drink it, down, down, down,
They should have gone down on the beer.
(Followed by Why are we Waiting)
I've Got That Hashing Spirit
To the tune of
Iv'e Got that Scouting Spirit ( I don't recall the original
song)
(a Smoking Wiener original)
I've got that Hashing spirit down in my head,
down in my head, down in my head.
I've got that Hashing spirit down in my head,
down in my head to stay.
2. She's got that Hashing spirit deep in her throat.
3. We've got that Hashing spirit deep in the woods.
4. We've got that Hashing spirit all over us.
Happy Hasher
To the tune of
Happy Wanderer
(a Smoking Wiener original)
I love to go a-hashing
along the mountain track,
And as I go,
I love to throw
Flour from my sack..
Chorus
Valdaree, valdarah, valdaree,
Valdarah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Valdaree, valdarah
Throwing flour from my sack
I love to wander by the stream
that dances in the sun
so joyously
it calls to me
"Come join our happy throng."
I tip my hat to all I meet,
and they wave back to me
The blackbird call
so load and sweet
from every dogwood tree.
High overhead the Skylark wings.
He never stays at home.
And just like me,
he loves to sing
as over the whores he roams.
Oh may I go a-hashing
until the day I die.
Oh may I always
drink and sing
beneath God's clear blue sky.
Chorus
Hash on the Range
To the tune of
Home on the Range
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Oh give me a home where the hasher does roam,
Where the hare and the harriette play,
Where seldom is heard a Puritan word,
And the draft beer is cold all day.
Chorus
Hash, hash on the range, where the queer and the cantaloupe
play,
Where seldom is heard a Puritan word,
And the draft beer is cold all day.
You're a Grand Old Fag
To the tune of
You're a Grand Old Flag
(a Smoking Wiener original)
You're a grand old fag, you're a tights wearing fag,
Forever your piece may you wave.
You're the emblem of, the man I love,
The home of the free spirit knave.
Every hand beats you till you're red, white, and blue,
Where there's never a boast or a brag.
But should old acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old fag.
(wearers of tights down-down song)
The Ballad of Rocket Shitty
To the tune of
The Ballad of Davy Crocket
(a Smoking Wiener original)
(Rocket Shitty HHH of Huntsville, AL.)
Born on mounty-sano in Alabam
Craziest Hash in the whole damned land
Runnin' in the woods so's we knew ev'ry tree
Went to a bar when we was only three.
Rocket, Rocket Shitty, King of the hash Frontier!
Down on your Knees
To the Tune of
Down in the Valley
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Down on your knees, your knees so low
Hang your head over, feel your lips blow
Feel your lips blow, dear, feel your lips blow
Hang your head over, feel your lips blow
Writing this letter, cumming three times
Answer my question, will you blow mine?
Will you blow mine, dear, will you blow mine?
Answer my question, will you blow mine?
Write me a letter, send it by mail
Send it in care of the Birmingham jail,
Birmingham jail, dear, Birmingham jail
Send it in care of the Birmingham jail
Hashers love sunshine, Hashers love dew
Hashers in Heaven know I love to screw
I love to screw, dear, I love to screw
Hashers in Heaven Know I love to screw
I've been laying out a hash trail
To the tune of
I've been working on the railroad
(a Smoking Wiener original)
I've been laying out a hash trail
All the livelong day
I've been laying out a hash trail
Just to pass the time away
Can't you hear the whistles blowing
Runners up so early in the morn
Can't you hear the hashers shouting
Dinah, blow my horn
Dinah, won't you blow
Dinah, won't you blow
Dinah, won't you blow my horn
Dinah, won't you blow
Dinah, won't you blow
Dinah, won't you blow my horn
Someone's at the beer near with Dinah
Someone's at the beer near I know
Someone's at the beer near with Dinah
Humping on my old girl Ho, and singing
Fie, fi, infidelity
Fie, fi, infidelity
Fie, fi, infidelity
Humping on my old girl Ho.
Throw down some Flour
To the tune of
Beer barrel polka
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Throw down some Flour,
We'll have a barrel of fun.
Throw down some Flour,
We've got the pack on the run.
Down Down on-on-on
Sing out a song of lewd cheer,
Now's the time to throw down some flour
For the pack's all here.
If I Only Had half a Brain
to the tune of
If I Only had a Brain
(a Smoking Wiener original)
I could hash away the hours, runnin' through the flowers
Consultin' with the rain.
And my balls I'd be scratchin' while my friends were busy
hashin'
If I only had half a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le,
Doubled over or in pain.
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin' you could be another
Clinton
If you only had half a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why The Dogman never scores.
I'd do lots of things, I'd never done outdoors.
And then I'd sit, and drink some more.
It would not be just a hash' my head all full of trash'
My shoes all full of rain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be so Fuckin merry,
If I only had half a brain.
"Shiggy Spot"
To the tune of
Rocky Top
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Wish that I could hash old Rocky Top
Down in the Tennessee hills.
Ain't no shiggy shit on Rocky Top
Ain't no fuuuckin hills.
Once I had a girl on Rocky Top
Half bear, the other half cat,
Sure did stink, but her cherry popped
I still dream about that.
Chorus:
Rocky Top, you'll always be
Hash sweet hash to me.
Good old Rocky Top,
Rocky Top, Tennessee.
Rocky Top, Tennessee.
Once some strangers hashed old Rocky Top
Lookin' for a brewers still.
Strangers ain't come down from Rocky Top,
Reckon they never will.
Barley won't grow at all on Rocky Top
Dirt's too rocky by far.
That's why all the folks on Rocky Top
Get their barley from a bar.
(Repeat Chorus)
I've had years of fucked up Huntsville life,
Trapped like a dogman in a pen.
All I know is it's a pity life
Can't be simple again.
(Repeat Chorus)
Rocky Top, Tennessee!
"Somebody Come and Hash"
To the tune of
Somebody Come and Play (from Sesame Street)
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Somebody come and hash.
Somebody come and hash today!
Somebody come and run the miles,
And sing lewd songs,
It won't take long.
Somebody come and hash today.
Somebody come and hash.
Somebody come and hash our way!
Somebody come and sing lewd songs,
And drink down-downs,
It won't take time.
Somebody come and hash today.
Somebody come with me and see the pleasure in the wind.
Somebody come before it gets too late to begin.
Somebody come and hash.
Somebody come and hash today!
Somebody come and be my friend,
And watch the sun Til we hash again.
Somebody come and hash today.
Somebody come and hash.
Somebody come and hash today!
Somebody come and run the miles,
And sing lewd songs,
It won't take long.
La, La, La, La, La, La,
La, La, La, La, La, La.
Somebody come with me and see the pleasure in the wind.
Somebody come before it gets too late to begin.
Somebody come and hash.
Somebody come and hash today!
Somebody come with me again,
And watch the sun Til we hash again.
Somebody come and hash today.
"Smoking Wiener" (sung by harriets)
To the tune of
Rubber Ducky (Sung by Ernie on Sesame Street)
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Smoking Wiener (can replace with Hares name), you're the one,
You make hashtime lots of fun,
Smoking Wiener, I'm awfully fond of you;
(woh woh, bee doh!)
Smoking Wiener, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Smoking Wiener, you're my very best fuck, it's true!
(doo doo doo doooo, doo doo)
CHORUS: Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a hung fella who's
Cute and bloody and chubby
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)
Smoking Wiener, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Smoking Wiener, I'm awfully fond of you.
(repeat chorus)
Smoking Wiener, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Smoking Wiener, I'm awfully fond of -
Smoking Wiener, I'd like a whole pond of -
Smoking Wiener, I'm awfully fond of you!
(doo doo, be doo.)
"The Hashers In Your Neighborhood"
To the tune of
The People In Your Neighborhood (Sesame Street)
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Oh, who are the Hashers in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood, in your neighborhood.
Say who are the hashers in your neighborhood--
The people that you see each day?
Oh, the hare always runs like a snail
Through rain or snow or sleet or hail.
They'll run, and run the whole day through
To lay a shiggy trail for you.
Cause a hare is a person in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood, he's in your neighborhood.
A hasher is a person in your neighborhood--
A person that you see each day.
Oh, an R A is brave it's said.
His Rod, it's a shiny red.
If there's a horny bitch about.
Well, He'll be sure to whip it out!
Cause a hare is a person in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood, he's in your neighborhood.
And an R A is a person in your neighborhood--
Well they're the hashers that you meet
When you're running down the street
They're the hashers that you meet each day!
Oh, DogMan is a hasher too.
He'd much rather run than screw.
Always throwing flower down.
Wearing nothing but a frown!
Cause a hare is a person in your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood, he's in your neighborhood.
And an R A is a person in your neighborhood--
And DogMan is a person in your neighborhood--
Well they're the hashers that you meet
When you're running down the street
They're the hashers that you meet each day!
Oh, BB likes to lay out trail.
As you watch her sweet titties flail.
She'd tell you that she'd rather fence,
But she's truly just a hashing wench!
Oh, Shortcut
Has a cute little butt.
But she's really such a raving slut.
That I'd rather shag a mangy mutt!
Oh, Prickless is a college Prof
And she'd really like to get us off
But there's only one fact that's true
She doesn't give a Dick 'bout you.
"I Love Hash" (sung by Oscar the Grouch)
To the tune of
I Love Trash (Sesame Street)
(a Smoking Wiener original)
Oh, I love hash!
Anything dirty or shiggy or musty.
Any trail ragged or hilly or dusty.
Yes, I love hash.
I have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn.
It's all full of shiggy and the laces are torn...
A gift from Grand Master the day I was born.
I love it because I hash.
Oh, I love hash!
Anything dirty or shiggy or musty.
Any trail ragged or hilly or dusty.
Yes, I love hash.
I have here a global trash thirteen months old.
I've wrapped some fish inside it, it's smelly and old.
But I wouldn't trade it for a big pot o' gold!
I love it because I hash
Oh, I love hash!
Anything dirty or shiggy or musty.
Any trail ragged or hilly or dusty.
Yes, I love hash.
I've a watch that won't work,
And an old megaphone.
A broken old rubber, a long hard hot bone...
And I am delighted to call them my own!
I love them because I hash
Oh, I love hash!
Anything dirty or shiggy or musty.
Any trail ragged or hilly or dusty.
Yes, I love, I love, I love them because I hash!
For Three-Tits
Her one tit hangs down to Her two tit.
Her two tit hangs down to Her three.
Her three tit hangs down to Her Pink Clit
Oh pull back that Labia for me.
(Or, Please show that pink clit to me)
pull back, pull back,
pull back that Labia
For all to see
pull back, pull back,
Oh, pull back that Labia for me
(OR, Please show, please show
Please show that pink clit
to me, to me
Please show, please show
Oh, please show that pink clit to me)
I Love You
(From Barney)
A Smoking Wiener Original
I love you!
You love me!
We'll go hashing, wait and see!
With a great big mug!
And a beer from me to you!
First we'll down down, then we'll screw!
God Bless My Underwear
Sung during the throw of the dart or for the underwear down
down..
[Tune: God Bless America]
God bless my underwear, my only pair.
Stand beside them, and guide them,
Through the rips, through the holes, through the tears.
From the washer, to the dryer, to the clothesline in the air.
God bless my underwear, my only pair.
They've Got the World Cup in Their Hands
Sung to "He's got the whole world in his hands"
(Lyrics by Smoking Wiener & HeBlows)
They've got the world cup in their hands
They've got the world cup in their hands
They've got the world cup in their hands
They've got the world cup in their hands
2. They've got their jerseys off and in their hands
3. They've got their little bitty breasts in their hands
4. They've got our old leather balls in their hands
5. They've got their huge old vibrator in their hands
They've got our big equipment in their hands
We're a Couple of Hashshits (lyrics by SW)
Original song from Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer:
We're a Couple of Misfits
(Sung by Rudolph and Hermie - not in the movie, but on the
soundtrack)
We're a couple of Hashshits
We're a couple of Hashshits
what's the matter with Hashshits
That's where we fit in
We're not daffy and dilly
Don't run round willy nilly
Seems to us kind of silly
When we don't on in
We may be
Different from the rest
Who decides the test
Of what is really best
We're a couple of Hashshits
Not a couple a half wits
What's the matter with Hashshits
That's where we fit in
Hashers We Have Heard Are High
A smoking wiener rendition of :
Angels We Have Heard On High
Hashers we Have Heard are High ,
Sweetly running o'er the plains
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their aches and pains. Gloria...
Chorus:
Gloria, In a drunken stupor
RA, why this jubilee,
Why your joyous strains prolong
What the gladsome tidings be,
Which inspire your down-down song?
Come out to our hash and see,
Him whose trail the angels claim
Much much much too long for me,
DogMan, Lord of hashing fame.
See him under, table laid,
Whom the choirs of hashers praise
HeBlows, Fluffy, lend your aid,
While our mugs in love we raise.
In honor of Just Jackie.
A Smoking Wiener Original
To the tune of Go Tell it on the Mountain.
(Written shortly after one of our hashers ended up overnight in
the hospital)
Just Jackie took a spill of about 10 feet into a concrete ditch
during her naming hash. She went on-in via ambulance and spent
the night in the hospital. Needless to say, her naming was
postponed. She is now affectionately known as Ditch Bitch
Verse 1
When I was a hasher
I hashed both night and day,
I asked the Hare to help me,
And he showed me the way.
Chorus
Go run around the City,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go run around the City,
Just Jackie's name is born.
Verse 2
He made me a lame one
Fell from a city wall,
And if I'm a named Hasher,
I'm the best damned named of all.
Chorus
Go run around the City,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go run around the City,
Just Jackie's name is born
Joy To The World
Verse 1
Joy to the world! the Hare is come;
Let the hash receive the Jerk;
Let every harriette prepare their Womb,
And hares and hashers sing,
And hares and hashers sing,
And hares, and hares and hashers sing.
Verse 2
Joy to the earth! the SongMaster reigns;
The hash their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the raucous joy,
Repeat the raucous joy,
Repeat, repeat the raucous joy.
Verse 3
So let more vines and briars grow,
And thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His flour flow
Far as the trail is found,
Far as the trail is found,
Far as, far as the trail is found.
Verse 4
The RA rules the hash with whip and mace,
And makes the hashers grovel
With down downs to His righteousness,
And wonder if He's just,
And wonder if He's just,
And wonder, wonder if He's Just.
Away ye Hash Mongers (Lyrics by SW)
(to the tune of Away In A Manger)
Verse 1
Away ye hash mongers, no time for some head,
The little hare Hare's name ran down a creek bed.
The moon in the sky looked down where flour lay,
The little hare Hare's name headed that way.
Verse 2
The whisltes are blowing, the whiner awakes,
But little hare Hare's name no bad trail he makes.
I love Thee, hare ______, Come down from your high,
And stay by our circle til morning is nigh.
Verse 3
Be near me, hare ______, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, and play.
Bless all the dear hashers in thy tender care,
And take us to interhash, to hash with Thee there.
Saturday in the Park
(Lyrics by Smoking Wiener)
Original Lyrics by Chicago
Saturday in the park
I wish it was the Fourth of July
Saturday in the park
I wish it was the Fourth of July
People running, people hashing
A hare throwing flour
Singing bawdy songs
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
And I've been waiting such a long time
For Saturday
Saturday in the park
You'd wish it was the Fourth of July
Saturday in the park
You'd wish it was the Fourth of July
People shiverin, really freezin
A hare laying true trail
Running from us all
Will you help him lay the trail
Can you lay it (yes, I can)
And I've been waiting such a long time
For today
Slow drunken runners fly the colours of the day
A drunk man still can lay trail his own way
Listen children you are not lost
All are not lost
Freezing days in the park
Every day's the Fourth of July
Freezing days in the park
Every day's the Fourth of July
Hashers drinking, hashers groping
A real celebration
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
Can you down down (yes, I can)
And I've been waiting such a long time
For the day
MARGARITAVILLE Jimmy Buffett
(Lyrics by Smoking Wiener)
Nibblin' on rum cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those hashers covered with beer.
Strokin' my big thing on my front porch swing.
Smell those virgins--
They're beginnin' to fear.
Wasted away again in South Huntsville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a harriett to blame,
But I know it's not my fault.
Don't know the reason,
Hashed here all season
With nothing to show but this on-on tatoo.
But it's a real beauty,
A fleet-footed cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue.
Wasted away again in South Huntsville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a harreitte to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it can't be my fault.
I blew my achilles,
Fell down to my knees;
Iced my heel, had to run on back home.
But there's beer in the ice chest,
And soon I'll feel some breast
That sexual attraction that helps me hash on.
Wasted away again in South Huntsville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a harriette to blame,
But I know, it's the beers damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame, And I
know it's the beers damn fault.
The Rain, The Park And Other Things
(Lyrics by Smoking Wiener)
(I Love the Flower Girl)
I saw her sitting in the rain
Golddrops falling on her
She didn't seem to care
She sat there and smiled at me
Then I knew she could make me horny
(She could make me very horny)
Golden Shower in her hair
Golden Showers everywhere
I love my shower girl
Oh, I don't know just why
She simply caught my eyes
I love my shower girl
She seemed so kind and sweet
She slipped onto my meat
I knew I had to say hello
(Raindrop, raindrop)
She smiled up at me
Then she took my thang
And we walked through the park alone
Then I knew she had made me horny
(She had made me very horny)
Golden Shower in her hair
Golden Showers everywhere
I love my shower girl
Oh, I don't know just why
She simply peed in my eye
I love my shower girl
She seemed so kind and sweet
She slipped onto my meat
Suddenly the sun broke through
(See the sun)
I turned around, she was gone
(Where did she go?)
And all I had left was a little urine in my hair
But I knew she had made me horny
(She had made me very horny)
Golden Shower in her hair
Golden Showers everywhere
I love my shower girl
Was she reality
Or just a wet dream to me?
I love my shower girl
Her love showed me the way
To have a kinky day
I love my shower girl
Was she reality
Or just a wet dream to me?
Man In A Troubled Marriage (a Smoking Wiener Original)
To the tune of:
Bridge Over Troubled Water (Paul Simon)
When you're weary__feelin' small,
When tears are in your eyes,
I'll dry them all, I'm by your side.
Oh, when trails get rough.
And friends just can't be found,
Like A Man in a Troubled Marriage,
I will screw around,
Like a Man in a Troubled Marriage,
I will screw around.
When you're down and out__and kicked out on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you,
I'll steal your heart.
Oh, when darkness comes___
And pain is all around,
Like A Man in a Troubled Marriage,
I will screw around,
Like a Man in a Troubled Marriage,
I will screw around.
Sail on Silver girl, sail on by.
Your time has come to shine,
And your divorce is on it's way,
See how you shine.
Oh, if you need some love
I'm sailing right behind, (I'll take you from behind)
Like A Man in a Troubled Marriage
I will screw around,
Like a Man in a troubled Marriage,
I will screw around.
Another version of Bridge Over Troubled Water
Lyrics by HeBlows of RSH3
When you're weary__feelin' sore,
When sweat is in your eyes,
I'll give you beer, I'm on your side.
Oh, when the shiggy gets rough.
And true trail just can't be found,
Like A Sewage Pipe Over Troubled Water
I will make you cross,
Like A Sewage Pipe Over Troubled Water
I will make you cross,
When you're at the on-out__when you're on true trail,
When ever I get so hard
I will come for you,
I'll take your pants.
Oh, when the down-downs come___
And beer is all around,
Like A Sewage Pipe Over Troubled Water
I will make you cross,
Like A Sewage Pipe Over Troubled Water
I will make you cross,
Shag on Hashing girl, shag on me.
Your time has come to swallow,
All your beer is on its way,
See how it foams.
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm shagging your behind,
Like A Sewage Pipe Over Troubled Water
I will make you cross,
Like A Sewage Pipe Over Troubled Water
I will make you cross,
The Morning After
--- Maureen McGovern & Smoking Wiener
There's got to be a morning after
If we can hash on through the night
We have a chance to drink some moonshine
Let's keep on running through the night
Oh, can't you see the naked bodies?
They're waiting right outside the tent
Why don't we start this trail together
And find a place to get really bent?
It's not too late, we should be giving
Only with lust can we climax
It's not too late, not while we're living
Let's take our clothes off, one last time
There's got to be a morning after
We're running closer to the shore
I know we'll be there by tomorrow
And we'll escape the darkness
We won't be groping any more
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
MightyFine
(I don't know the origin of this one, but we sang something
similar while in the Army)
Lyrics by Smoking Wiener
The hash trails that they lay here, they say are mighty fine,
They told us it was 5 miles, it seemed like twenty-nine.
(Chorus)
Oh, I don't want no more of Hashing Life..
Gee, Hare, I want to go, but they won't let me go;
Gee, Hare, I want to go on-in
(Additional verses)
The hares that they have here, they say are mighty fine,
But when you get up close to them, they empty your beer stein.
The girls in Rocket Shitty Hash, they say are mighty fine,
You ask them for a BlowJob, they demand a 69.
The beer that they have here, they say is mighty fine,
They fill you up on Dirt Cheap, at Six dollars, Ninety-nine.
The hash food that they serve you, they say is mighty fine
When Whining Bitch tasted it, he began to Whine.
The pasta that they serve you, they say is mighty fine
They rinse it the toilet and drain it on the line.
The down-downs they reward you, they say are mighty fine
It's good for cuts and bruises and tastes like iodine.
The women that we cum with, they say are mighty fine
But whoever said this has never cum with mine.
The songs that they sing here are the best that they can get
Smoking Wiener wrote a new verse, it's the filthiest one yet.
Anticipation.
Carly Simon original
Lyrics by Smoking Wiener
We can never know about the ways to cum
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I'm toying with you now
Or just chasing after some finer play.
Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me quake
Is keeping me mating
And I tell you how easy it is to be with you
And how right your lips feel around me.
Bit I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was drinking, knowing how fun tonight might be.
Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me quake
Is keeping me mating
And tomorrow we might not cum together
I'm no prophet, I don't know natures way
So I'll try to sneak between your thighs right now
And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days.
I'm getting married in the morning.
Lyrics by Smoking Wiener
Stray Dog's getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong his balls are going to chime,
Pull out her stopper,
He claims to have a whopper,
But get him to the church on time.
He's got to be there in the morning,
Spruced up and his cock all primed,
Girls come and kiss him,
Show how you'll miss him,
But get him to the church on time.
If he is straying,
Give him a laying,
If she is moo-ing,
Send her a shoo-ing!
Oh, Stray Dog's getting married in the morning,
Ding-dong his balls are going to chime,
Kick up a rumpus,
But don't lose the compass
And get him to the church,
Get him to the church,
For G's sake,
Get him to the church, on time.
Hasher DogMan
To the tune of "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Lyrics by Smoking Wiener
This was written for Dogman's six month anniversary of being hit
by a car while bicycling home. Affectionately, the hash was
titled "Gimp Limp"
The legend lives on from Monte Sano on down
Of the big town they called Rocket Shitty
The streets, it is said, never give up their dead
When the skies of December turn gloomy
With a load of iron several thousand tons more
Than the Hasher Dogman weighed empty.
That good hasher and true was a bone to be chewed
When the rains of December came early.
His Bike was the pride of the Spring City side
Coming back from some sight on the Ars'nal
As Knight bikes go, it was faster than most
With a rider a hasher well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of contractor firms
When he left early headed for Home
And later that night when the cars horn did sound
Could it be the north wind he'd been feelin'?
The rain in the spokes made a tattle-tale sound
And a car broke over the shoulder
And every man knew, as the hasher did too,
T'was the witch of December come stealin'.
The ascent came late and the rain couldn't wait
When the Rains of December came slashin'.
When dusk came it was a freezin' rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind.
When the time came, the Ford Driver road on a-sayin'.
Bikers, it's too rainy to see ya.
At Five P.M. a main rainstorm started in, he said
Fellas, it's been good t'know ya
The hasher saw he had an Escort coming in
And the good rider and hasher was in peril.
And later that night when his lights were knocked outta sight
Came the wreck of the Hasher Dogman.
Does any one know where the lost shoe had gone
When the waves turned the minutes to hours?
The police reports all say He'd have made Clinton Street
If He'd put start five minutes earlier.
He's pretty split up and his bike it's a wreck;
May have broken his leg and took quite a beating.
And all that remains is the braces and screws
In the leg of the old hashing bastard
Bob Wallace rolls, Rocket Shitty sings
In the gloom of his beaten down cycle.
The Dogman steams with a young hasher's dreams;
The trails and bikelanes are for hashers.
And farther below Huntsville Hospital row
Takes in what Bob Wallace can send her,
And the iron cars go as the bikers all know
With the Rains of December remembered.
In an old Chapel on Green Mountain they prayed,
In the Hashers favorite setting.
The church bell chimed till it rang sixteen times
For each screw in the Tibia and Fibula.
The legend lives on from Monte Sano on down
Of the big street they call Bob Wallace'.
Wallace, they said, never gives up her dead
When the Rains of December come early!
Racked with Pain
(King of Pain, The Police)
Edited by Smoking Wiener
There's a little shiggy spot on the run today
It's the same old shiggy as yesterday
There's a fluffy pussy caught in a high tree top
There's a female check and Whining Bitch won't stop
I have stood here before outside in pouring rain
With the long hash circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that I won't get a sprain
But it's my destiny to be racked with pain
There's a little shiggy spot on the run today
That's a down down there
It's the same old shiggy as yesterday
There's a down down there
There's a fluffy pussy caught in a high tree top
That's a down down there
There's a female check and Whining Bitch won't stop
That's a down down there
I have stood here before outside in pouring rain
With the long hash circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that I won't get a sprain
But it's my destiny to be racked with pain
There's a Keg that's tapped on a high cliff wall
There's a circle there
There's another one cooling in a waterfall
There's a circle there
There's a hasher laying spinning in his bed
There's a circle there
There's another one getting a little HEAD
There's a circle there
I have stood here before outside in pouring rain
With the long hash circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that I won't get a sprain
But it's my destiny to be racked with pain
There's a hasher on a throne puking his dinner up
There's another one doing an up-up-up
There's a Dogman sleeping underneath a bed
There's a harriette choking, giving someone HEAD
Racked with pain
There's some hash thrown down for the chasing pack
There's some shiggy there
There's Salty Balls holding a scrotum sack
There's some shiggy there
There's a little shiggy spot on the run today
It's the same old shiggy as yesterday
I have stood here before outside in pouring rain
With the long hash circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that I won't get a sprain
But it's my destiny to be racked with pain
Racked with pain
Racked with pain
Racked with pain
I'll always be racked with pain
Hasher (can replace hasher with Harriettes name)
(Roxanne ,The Police)
Edited by Smoking Wiener
Hasher
You have to put on the red dress
This hash isn't over
You still have to dance and party into the night
Hasher
You have to wear that red dress tonight
Walk the streets for beer money
I don't care if it's too short or if it's tight.
Hasher
You have to put on the red dress
I loved you since I knew you
I would really love to screw you
I have to tell you just how I feel
I know your not just another boy
I know my mind is made up
So put away your make up
Told you once I won't tell you again
I'm in a bad way
Hasher
You have to put on the red dress
Hasher
You have to put on the red dress
DRESS YOU UP (lyrics by Smoking Wiener)
Madonna
You've got style
That's what all the hares say
Satin sheets
And titties so fine
All your suits are custom made in London
I know somehow that you're really a dike
Gonna dress you up in my dress
All over, all over
Gonna dress you up in my dress
All over your body
Feel the silky touch of my red dresses
They will keep you looking ready to screw
Let me cover you with Golden Tresses
I'll create a look that's made for you
Gonna dress you up in my dress
In my dress
All over your body
All over your body
In my dress
All over, all over
From your head down to your toes
I Am Woman
-Artist: Helen Reddy from "Helen Reddy's Greatest Hits": EMI ST
11467
(Lyrics by Smoking Wiener)
I am hasher, hear me roar
In dresses too red to ignore
And I've drank too much to say it's all pretend
'cause I've done it once before
And I've done down downs by the score
No one's ever gonna wear this dress again
CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom free from shame
Yes, I've paid the price
But look at my great frame
If I want to, I can wear anything
A have a thong (thong)
I have mammaries (mammaries)
I am woman
You can bend but never take me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my drinking goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a harlot any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my hole
CHORUS
I am hasher watch me run
See me drinking, having fun
As I spread my lovin' hash across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make the others understand
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom free from shame
Yes, I've paid the price
But look at my great frame
If I want to, I can wear anything
A have a thong (thong)
I have mammaries (mammaries)
Oh, I am woman
A have a thong
I have mammaries
Fade
I am woman
I have a thong
I have mammaries
I am woman
Limeric (by Smoking Wiener)
There once was a lad in a red dress,
He looked really queer, as you'd guess.
But when he pulled out his tool
The women did drool
And quite readily did they undress.
Hashes In The Sun
To the Tune of "Seasons in the Sun"
Lyrics by Smoking Wiener
Goodbye to you my hashing friend
We've known each other since we acted nine or ten
Together we hashed hills and creeks
Learned of Huntsville and the ABC's
Scraped our shins and skinned our knees.
Goodbye my friend it's hard to stay dry
When all the hares are drinking on the sly
Now that the spring is in the air
Tasty beer is everywhere
Pour one for me and I'll be there
We had joy we had fun
We went hashing in the sun
But the hills that we climb were all shiggy
Most the time.
We had joy we had fun
We went hashing in the sun
But the wine and the beer like the seasons
Have all gone.
Goodbye Wet Spot please pray for me
You are the black sheep of rocket shitty
You tried to teach me to do wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how we got along.
Goodbye Wet Spot its hard to stay dry
When all the hares are drinking on the sly
Now that the spring is in the air
Drunken hashers everywhere
When you see them I'll be there.
Goodbye Wet Spot my little one
You gave me laughs and helped me find some fun
And every time that I was drinking down
You would always clown around
And get Stray Dog off on the ground.
Goodbye Wet Spot it's hard to stay dry
When all the hares are drinking on the sly
Now that the spring is in the air
With new virgins everywhere
I wish that we could both be there
All this year we had fun
We went hashing in the sun
But the bars we could reach
Sadly weren't on the beach
Superstar (Jesus Christ, Superstar)
Smoking Wiener
(Voice of the Pack)
Ev'ry time I hash with you
I don't understand
Why you let the trail you lay
Get so out of hand
You'd have mis-managed better
If you'd had it planned
Now why'd you choose such a backward place
And such a strange land?
If you'd come today
You could have hashed a whole weekend
Rocket Shitty in 4 BC
Had no mass transportation
(Don't you get me lost)
Don't you get me lost
(Don't you get me lost, now)
Don't you get me lost
(Don't you get me lost)
Don't you get me lost
(Don't you get me lost, now)
Don't you get me lost
(Only want to hash)
Only want to hash
(Only want to hash, now)
Only want to hash
(Only want to hash)
Only want to hash
(Only want to hash, now)
Only want to hash
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What virgin have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you? What virgin have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're as clever as they say you are?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you're what as clever as say you are?
Tell me what you think
About your hashes to the top
Now who d'you think besides yourself
Was gonna climb an outcrop?
Buddah was just too fat?
Is he where you are?
Could Mahomet hash a mountain
The Serenity Prayer
Smoking Wiener
GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can, and a
half-mind to know the difference.
Living ONE RUN AT A TIME;
enjoying one trail at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway through shiggy.
Running, as the hare did, this
sinful route as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all checks right if I
surrender to His markings;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this pack, and supremely
happy with Hashing forever in
the next. On-On
HASH MOON RISING (Smoking Wiener)
BAD MOON RISING (J.C. Fogerty)
I see the hash moon arising.
I see hashers on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin'.
I see bad trails today.
CHORUS:
Don't run around tonight,
Well, it's bound to make for strife,
There's a hash moon on the rise.
I hear the pack a'whistling
I know the circles coming soon.
I fear down-downs over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.
CHORUS
All right!
Hope you got your shit together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Looks like we're in for nasty weather.
Insert Hash Name is laying trail tonight..
CHORUS
CHORUS
WHO'LL STOP THE RAIN (J.C. Fogerty and Smoking Wiener)
Long as I remember The rain been comin' down.
Clouds of myst'ry pourin' Shiggy all over the ground.
Good men through the checks, Tryin' to find the trail;
And I'm haring, Still I'm haring, Who'll stop the rain.
I went down to an old barn, Seekin' shelter from the storm.
Caught up in the stable, I watched the pack on on..
Two month plans and new trails, Published in web chains.
And I'm haring, Still I'm haring Who'll stop the rain.
Heard the singers bawdry', How we cheered for more.
The crowd had circled together, Tryin' to keep warm.
Still the rain kept pourin', Fallin' on my ears.
And I'm haring, Still I'm haring Who'll stop the rain.
I Don't Know How To Lust Him
From Jesus Chris Superstar
(Smoking Wiener)
(Mary Magdalene)
I don't know how to catch him
What to do, how to find him
I've been lost, yes really lost
In these past few checks
When I've seen the trail
I don't see anyone else
I don't know how to take this
I don't see why he loses me
He's a hare
He's just a hare
And I've had so many
Hares before
In very many ways
He's just one more
Should I track him down
Should I scream and shout
Should I speak of lust
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd cum today
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one
Who's always been
So calm so cool
No hasher's fool
Running very slow
He scares me so
I never thought I'd come today
What's it all about?
Yet
If he said he lusted me
I'd be lost
I'd be frightened
I couldn't grope
Just couldn't grope
I'd give him head
Then back away
I wouldn't want to know
He scares me so
I want him so
I lust him so
Lady Madonna
A Smoking Wiener original.
Lady Madonna, 5 children at your feet.
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.
Who finds the money? When you pay the cash?
Did you think that money wasn't for the hash ?
Friday night arrives without a hash trail.
Sunday morning creeps in like the sun.
Monday's hare has learned to lay true trail.
See how they run.
Lady Madonna, hasher at your breast.
Wonder how you manage to appease the rest.
See how they run.
Lady Madonna, lying on the trail,
Listening to the music as others follow trail.
The hash trail is never ending. (Or, "HeBlows trail is never
ending")
Wednesday morning hash trash didn't come.
Thursday night your sport bra needed mending.
See how they run.
Lady Madonna, hasher at your breast.
Wonder how you manage to appease the rest.
Hash, hash, hash (Original title: Dance, Dance, Dance)
(Smoking Wiener, Steve Miller)
My grandpa, he's ninety five
And he keeps on hashin', he's still alive
My grandma, she's ninety two
She loves to hash and sing lewd too
I don't know but I've been told
If you keep on hashing you'll never grow old
{Refrain}
Come on, daddy', put a red dress on
We're gonna go out tonight
Hash, hash, hash
Hash, hash, hash
Hash, hash, hash, all night long
I'm a hard-workin' man, I'm a son of a bitch
I've been hashin' all week and I've got an itch
The whore's in the kitchen and my manhood's in the barn
I'm all cleaned up and my whores are all done
Gimme your hand and make me come
Then let's go out and get us some
{Refrain}
Hash, hash, hash
Hash, hash, hash
Hash, hash, hash, all night long
Come on, hasher', don't look that way
Don't you know when you smile I've got to say
You're my honey pumping lover, you're my heart's delight
Don't you want to get laid tonight
You're such a pretty lady, you're such a sweet man
When you dance it hardens up my thang
{Refrain}
Hashing In The Moonlight
King Harvest / Smoking Wiener
(Sherman Kelly)
We get some almost every night
When that ol' moon gets-a big and bright
It's a heterosexual delight (or, It's a drinker's delight)
Everybody's hashin' in the moonlight
Everybody here is out of sight
They have a lark, and they're not uptight
They keep things loose, they keep things light
Everybody was hashin' in the moonlight
Everybody's hashin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' cool and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's hashin' in the moonlight
We like our fun and we never fight
You can't hash and stay uptight
It's a heterosexual delight
Everybody was hashin' in the moonlight
On His Bone Again, By Smoking Wiener
To the tune of On the Road Again
(To be sung by Harriettes)
On his bone again, I just can't wait to get on his bone
again,
The sex I love is makin' lovin with my friend,
And I can't wait to get on his bone again.
On his bone again, cummin' harder than I've never been,
Doin' things that I may never do again,
And I can't wait to get on his bone again.
CHORUS:
On his gland again, like a rock band groupie I go down on him
that way.
We're the best of friends,
Insisting that the world be screwin' our way,
And our way, is on is on the floor again,
Just can't wait to get on his bone again.
The sex I love is makin' lovin with my friend,
And I can't wait to get on his bone again.
repeat last line 2x
I Want To Hold Your Gland
The Beatles
Words and Music by John Lennon, Paul McCartney and Smoking
Wiener
Oh yeah I tell you somethin'
I think you'll understand
When I see that somethin'
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
Oh please say to me
You'll let me use my hand
And please say to me
You'll let me hold your gland
Now, let me hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
And when I touch you
I want you inside
It's such a feelin' that my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah, you got that somethin'
I think you'll understand
When I see that somethin'
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
And when I touch you
I want you inside
It's such a feelin' that my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah, you got that somethin'
I think you'll understand
When I feel that somethin'
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
I want to hold your gland
Ballad Of the Hash Today
To the tune of Ballad of the Green Berets
Artist: Ssgt. Barry Sadler
Words and Music by Ssgt. Barry Sadler, Robin Moore, and Smoking
Wiener
Horny hashers with open fly
Drunken men who run and lie
Men who don't mean what they say
These crazed men, will hash today
CHORUS:
Whistle lanyards upon their chest
These are drinkers, America's best
One hundred men will hash today
But only three will find the way
Trained to run on nature's land
Trained in party, beer-in-hand
Men who drink by night and day
Hashing fools on the trail today
CHORUS
Back at home a young wife waits
Her hasher has stayed out late
He has run with those oppressed
Leaving her his last request
"Put whistled lanyard on my son
Make him one of America's best
He was born to run and play
Have him lay hash trail someday"
(HASHIN' BY) THE DOCK OF THE BAY
To the Tune of "(Sittin By) The Dock Of The Bay"
Written by Otis Redding, Steve Cropper, and Smoking Wiener
Hashin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be hashin' when the evenin' come
Watching the drunks run in
And then I watch 'em run away again, yeah
I'm hashin' by the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just hashin' by the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
I left my home in Huntsville
Headed for the Thiokol bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way
So I'm just gonna run by the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm hashin' by the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what the shrink tells me to
So I guess I'll remain insane, yes
Sittin here resting my bones
And this Hangover won't leave me alone
It's 'bout ten miles I roamed
Just to find the on-on home
Now, I'm just gonna run by the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, hashin' by the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
(whistle)
Tennessee Valley Sunday
To the tune of "Pleasant Valley Sunday"
The Monkees and Smoking Wiener
Your local hash group down the street
Is trying hard to learn this song
To serenade the weekend hare
Who came out to throw flour down
Another Tennessee valley sunday
Hashers running everywhere
Marks of flour that are all the same
And no one seems to care
See Mrs. Gray she's proud today
Because her yeasts are in bloom
And Mr. Green he's so serene
He's got a girl in every room
Another Tennessee valley sunday
Here in Rocket Shitty land
Hashers complain
About how hard trail is
And the virgins just don't understand
Southern comfort shots
They only give me the squats
And make it hard for me to see
My thoughts all seem to stray
To places far away
I need a change of scenery
(Ta ta ta ta....)
Another Tennessee valley sunday
Hashers running everywhere
Another Tennessee valley sunday
Here in Rocket City land
Another Tennessee valley sunday (repeat)
Hot Box
To the tune of Squeeze Box by The Who, edited by Smoking Wiener
Mama's got a hot box
She sports a big chest
And when Daddy comes home
He never gets no rest
'Cause she's fucking all night
And her Pussy's real tight
Mama's got a hot box
Daddy never sleeps at night
Well Mama likes Dad's meat
And Daddy can't sleep
There's no escape from the sounds
In the whole damn street
'Cause she's fucking all night
And her Pussy's real tight
Mama's got a hot box
Daddy never sleeps at night
She goes in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out
She's fucking all night
And her Pussy's real tight
Mama's got a hot box
Daddy never sleeps at night
She goes, please me, come on and please me
Come on and tease me like you do
I'm so in love with you
Mama's got a hot box
Daddy never sleeps at night
She goes in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out
'Cause she's fucking all night
And her Pussy's real tight
Mama's got a hot box
Daddy never sleeps at night
There's A Kind Of Hash
To the tune of "There's A Kind Of Hush"
Carpenters and Smoking Wiener
There's a group, a hash
Running 'round town tonight
All over the town
you can hear the sounds of hashers on trail
You know it's their screams
Just the hare and us
and nobody else in sight
There's nobody else and I'm feeling good
Just hashing tonight
So scout trail very carefully
Careful now 'cause, were crossing a stream
It's not a wet dream
The other sound that you will hear
Is when I whisper in your ear, I want you
I want sex on trail
Where Has All The Flour Gone
To the tune of Where Have All The Flowers Gone"
The Kingston Trio and Smoking Wiener
Where have all the hash marks gone, long time passing?
Where have all the hash marks gone, long time ago?
Where have all the hash marks gone?
Gone to rain fall, every one!
The last hash was long ago, the last hash was long ago.
Where have all the check marks gone, long time passing?
Where have all the check marks gone, a long time ago?
Where have all the check marks gone?
They've been wind blown, every one!
The last check was long ago, the last check was long ago.
Where have all the beer nears gone, long time passing?
Where have all the beer nears gone, long time ago?
Where have all the beer nears gone?
Drank by vagrants, every one!
When will hares ever learn, when will hares ever learn?
Where have all the hashers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the hashers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the hashers gone?
Gone to Bars, every one!
When will they ever learn, when will they ever learn?
And where have the beer pitchers gone, long time passing?
Where have the beer pitchers gone, long time ago?
Where have the beer pitchers gone?
Gone to hashers, every one!
When will they ever leave, oh when will they ever leave?
I Think The Beers Gone Now
To the tune of "I Think We're Alone Now"
First verse
Hashers behave
That's what they say when we hash together
And watch how you play
They don't understand and so we're...
Chorus
Running just as fast as we can
Following a different band
Trying to get away into the night and then we hit some shiggy
and we tumble to the ground and then I say...
Give Me A Blow Now
There doesn't seem to be anyone around
Give Me A Blow Now
The beating of our hearts is the only sound
Second verse
We sure don't have to hide what we're doin'
Just because we've been screwing and so we're...
Chorus
I Think The Beers Gone Now
There doesn't seem to be any more around
I Think The Beers Gone Now
I can't really afford another round
Repeat twice
Rocket Man
Elton John
Packed my flour bag last night
Pre-flight,
Zero hour, 3:00 p.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then.
I miss the earth so much,
I miss my wife.
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight.
And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
Till down downs bring me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home.
Oh, no, no, no,
I'm a rocket man,
Rocket man throwing out his flour on-out alone.
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your mugs,
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no hash there to raise them if you did.
And all this science,
I don't understand.
It's just my job, five days a week,
A Rocket man.
TAKE ME HOME, COUNTRY ROADS
John Denver
Almost On In, Rocket Shitty,
Valley Mountains
Tennessee River.
Life is old there,
Older than the trees,
Younger than the mountains
Growin' like a breeze.
CHORUS
Country roads, take me home
To the place where I belong:
Rocket City, Monte Sano,
Take me home, country roads.
All my memories gathered 'round beer,
Hasher ladies, strangers to drinking water.
Dark and dusty, hashing on the sly,
Misty taste of moonshine,
Flour in my eye.
CHORUS
Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong:
Rocket Shitty, Monte Sano,
Take me home, country roads.
I hear her voice, in the mornin' hour she calls me,
Whistles remind me of my home far away
And running down the road I get a feeling
I should have been home yesterday, yesterday
CHORUS
Country roads, take me home
To the place where I belong:
Rocket Shitty, Monte Sano,
Take me home, country roads.
Hashing In The Moonlight
King Harvest
(Sherman Kelly & Smoking Wiener)
We get some almost every night
When that ol' moon gets-a big and bright
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody's hashin' in the moonlight
Everybody here is getting tight
The dogs bark, but they don't bite
They keep things loose, they keep things light
Everybody was hashin' in the moonlight
Everybody's hashin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and unnatural sight
Everybody's hashin' in the moonlight
We like our fun and we never fight
You can't dance and stay uptight
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody was hashin' in the moonlight