A Prayer, A Prayer
------------------
A prayer,
A prayer,
A prayer for the constipated...
SHIT!
A prayer,
A prayer,
A prayer for the inebriated...
PISS!
A prayer,
A prayer,
A prayer for the frustrated...
FUCK!
A prayer,
A prayer,
A prayer for the dehydrated...
BEER!
A prayer,
A prayer,
A prayer for the menstruated...
BLOODY HELL!
A prayer,
A prayer,
A prayer for the castrated...
BALLS!
Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, Bengelstein, Bengelstein,
Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man.
He sits on the steeple and shits on the people,
Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man.
He keeps us all waiting while he's masturbating,
Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man.
He ups it, he downs it, he fucking well pounds it,
Balls to Mr. Bengelstein, dirty old man.
As I Was Walking
----------------
As I was walking through the wood,
I shat myself, I knew I would.
I cried for HELP! but no help came,
And so I shat myself again.
As I was walking through Saint Pauls,
The vicar grabbed me by the balls.
I cried for HELP! but no help came,
And so he grabbed my balls again.
As I was walking through St. Giles,
Some bastard grabbed me by my piles.
I cried for HELP! but no help came,
Ad so he grabbed my piles again.
As I was walking down the street,
A whore grabbed me by the meat.
I cried for HELP! but no help came,
And so she grabbed my meat again.
As I lay sleeping in the grass,
Some bastard rammed it up my ass.
I cried for HELP! but no help came,
And so he rammed it up again.
Asshole, Asshole
----------------
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for Queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be
Breathalyzed
------------
Breathalyzed,
Crystals turning green before my eyes.
I can hardly realize,
That I have just been breathalyzed.
Suddenly,
There's a policeman standing over me.
I'd like to punch him but he's six foot three,
And I would like to stay alive.
He said, "We'd like to test your blood for alcohol."
I said, "Go away, you'll get nothing, Dracula."
Reality,
Five hundred milligrams per 100 mils.
Now they reckon, I'm a mobile still,
and I have to be penalized.
Custody,
When they took me to the local mick,
I've never seen a policeman move so quick,
But not as quick, as I got sick.
Misery,
And the judge says I must join AA,
And take the bus for 60 days.
Oh, why did I get breathalized?
Breathalyzed,
Couldn't wait to get back to the car,
But I hadn't gone very far,
'Til I again was breathalized.
Here's to Brother Hasher
------------------------
Here's to brother hasher
Bother hasher, brother hasher
Here's to brother hasher
May he chug-a-lug
He's happy, he's jolly,
He's fucked up by golly,
Here's to brother hasher
May he chug-a-lug
So drink motherfucker
Drink motherfucker
Drink motherfucker
Drink motherfucker
Here's to brother hasher
May he chug-a-lug
Bye Bye Cherry
--------------
Back your ass against the wall
Here I come, balls and all
Bye bye cherry
Won't your mother be disgusted
When she finds your cherry's busted
Bye bye cherry
Wrap your legs around a little tighter
I can feel my load is getting lighter
Shake that ass and wiggle those tits
Until my little pecker spits
Cherry bye bye
Daisy, Daisy
------------
Daisy, daisy, give me your answer true.
Daisy, daisy, wouldn't you like to screw?
I really must beg your pardon,
But I've got a hell of a hard on
From beating my meat against the seat
Of a bicycle built for two.
Dinah
-----
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn
Someone's in your sister's vagina
Someone's in your sister I know
Someone's in your sister's vagina
Pumpin' like a dinamo
Doh!
----
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer
Ray, the guy that sells me beer
Me, the guy that drinks the beer
Far, a long way to the beer
So, I'll have another beer
La, I'll have another beer
Tea, no thanks I'm having beer
Which will bring us back to...
Fuck A Duck
-----------
Fuck a duck, a female duck
Screw a baby kangaroo
Fingerbang an orangutang
Let an elephant do you
Feel the penis of an eel
Whack the asshole of a yak
Masturbate with a gnu
Which will bring us back to...
God Bless My Underpants
-----------------------
God bless my underpants,
Brand that I like,
Stand inside them,
And ride them,
Between my buns when I run or I bike.
From the waistband,
To the legholes,
To the fly flap,
Wet with piss,
God bless my underpants,
They look like this.
Meet The Hashers
----------------
Hashers,
Meet the hashers,
We're the biggest drunks in history.
From the
Town of Boulder/Broomfield/Golden/Westminster/Niwot/Longmont
We're the masters of debauchery.
Halfminds,
Trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch us as we drink alot of beers.
Down down,
Down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down doooowwwwn.
He Oughta
---------
He oughta be publicly pissed on
He oughta be publicly shot
He oughta be tied to a urinal
And left there to fester and rot.
A Dose of the Clap
------------------
He's got a dose of the clap
On his dick
He's got a dose of the clap
On his dick
He's got a dose of the clap
On his dick
And all it does is go
Drip! Drip! Drip!
He's The Meanest
----------------
He's the meanest
He sucks the horse's penis
He's the meanest
He's the horse's ass
Ever since he found it
All he does is pound it
He's the meanest
He's the horse's ass
Him
---
Him,
Him,
Fuck him.
Hitler Has Only Got One Ball
----------------------------
Hitler has only got one ball
Goering has two, but very small
Himmler has something sim'ler
And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all
Frankfurt has only one beer hall
Stuttgart, die munchen are all on call
In Munich, vee lift our tunich
To show vee 'Chermans' have no balls at all
Hans Otto is very short, not tall
And blotto, from drinking Singhai and Skol
A 'Cherman', unlike Bruce Erwin
Because Hans Otto has no balls at all
I Don't Want to be a Housewife
------------------------------
I don't want to be a housewife
I'd much rather be a whore
I'd rather turn some tricks
Involving foot long pricks
Housework can be such a bore
I don't want to do his laundry
I don't want to cook his fucking food
And if I'm getting laid
I should be getting paid
Else I'm truly getting screwed
Call on the Provincial Territory
Call on the navy and marines
Call on me mother,
Me sister and me brother
But for fuck's sake don't call me
I Don't Want to Join the Army
-----------------------------
I don't want to join the army
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around
Picadilly underground
Living off the earnings of a high born lady
Don't want a bayonet up me arsehole
Don't want me bullocks blown away
I'd rather live in England
Bonny bonny England
And fornicate me bloomin life away, gor blimey
Monday I touched her upon the ankle
Tuesday I touched her upon the knee
Wednesday I confess
I lifted up her dress
Thursday I saw you know what
Friday I put me hand upon it
Saturday she gave me balls a tweak (tweak! tweak!)
Sunday after supper
I put the old boy up her
Now she earns me 40 bob a week, gor blimey
Call on the regimental army
Call on the navy and marines
Call on me mother,
Me sister and me brother
But for fuck's sake, don't call me
The Philosophers Song
---------------------
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table
David Hume could outconsume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beer swine
Who was just as sloshed as Shlegel
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
After half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whisky every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am."
But it's Socrates himself that's particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed
Chicago
-------
I used to work in Chicago
In a department store
I used to work in Chicago
But I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for some velour
Some velour from the store
Velour she wanted, felt she got
I don't work there anymore
A man came in for a doorbell
A doorbell from the store
A doorbell he wanted, my knockers he got
I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for some toilet parts
Some toilet parts from the store
Some toilet parts she wanted, my ballcock she got
I don't work there anymore
A woman came in for a metaphysical conversation
A metaphysical conversation from the store
A metaphysical conversation she wanted, fucked she got
I don't work there anymore
(And so on...)
The Little Bird
---------------
The was a little bird
No bigger than a turd
A-sitting on a telephone pole
It ruffled up its neck
And shit about a peck
And puckered up its little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole
It puckered up its little asshole
The Mailman Song
----------------
Here I come down your way
I can come twice a day
I'm your mailman
I don't mess with keys or locks
I just stick it in your box
I'm your mailman
I can come in any kind of weather
Because my mail sack is made of leather
If you have a postage stamp
Let me lick it, make it damp
I'm your mailman
The Mayor of Bayswater
----------------------
The mayor of Bayswater
He had a lovely daughter
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
And the hairs
And the hairs
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
One black one, one white one,
One with a little shite on,
And one with a little light on
To show us the way
They're so soft and spongey
You can use them for a bungie
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
I've smelt it, I've felt it
It's just like a piece of velvet
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She came from Glamorgan
With a cunt like a barrel organ
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She married an Italian
Who was hung like a fucking stallion
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She divorced the Italian
And married a fucking stallion
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
Her cat's name was Boris
And it played with her clitoris
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She shays she's not a whore
But she bangs like a shit-house door
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She went to Arabia
And got camel-drool on her labia
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She married a Spaniard
With a prick like a bloody lanyard
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
She stayed in Seattle
And went down on cattle
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
I've licked it, I've kissed it
It tastes like a chocolate biscuit
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
Her vagina is squishy
And smells a bit fishy
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
The aroma, it lingers
It smells like fish fingers
And the hairs of her dickey-di-do
Hung down to her knees
(And so on...)
Mobile
------
Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile
Oh the eagles they fly high in Mobile
Oh the eagles they fly high
And they shit right in your eye
Thank the lord that cows don't fly in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!)
In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile
Oh the eagles they fly high
And they shit right in your eye
Thank the lord that cows don't fly in Mobile
Oh the sheriff is a bugger in Mobile
Oh the sheriff is a bugger in Mobile
Oh the sheriff is a bugger
And the deputy's another
And they bugger one another in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!)
In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile
Oh the sheriff is a bugger
And the deputy's another
And they bugger one another in Mobile
There's a lack of good glasses in Mobile
There's a lack of good glasses in Mobile
There's a lack of good glasses
Cuz those motherfucking hashers
Stuck their glasses up their asses in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!)
In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile
There's a lack of good glasses
Cuz those motherfucking hashers
Stuck their glasses up their asses in Mobile
There's a lack of good whores in Mobile
There's a lack of good whores in Mobile
There's a lack of good whores
But there's keyholes in the doors
And there's knotholes in the floors in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!)
In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile
There's a lack of good whore
But there's keyholes in the doors
And there's knotholes in the floors in Mobile
The girls, they wear tin undies in Mobile
The girls, they wear tin undies in Mobile
The girls, they wear tin undies
But they take them off on Sundays
You should see the boys on Mondays in Mobile
In Mobile, in Mobile (Fuck! Shit! Piss!)
In Mo in Mo in Mo in Mobile
The girls, they wear tin undies
But they take them off on Sundays
You should see the boys on Mondays in Mobile
(And so on...)
Moonshadow
----------
(Singer yanks his pants to his ankles, gets someone to follow
him)
I'm being followed by a moonshadow
Moonshadow, moonshadow
Mrs Murphy
----------
Take it in your hand Mrs Murphy
For it only ways a quarter of a pound
It's got hair on its neck like a turkey (gobble, gobble!)
And it spits when you shake it up and down
If I had the wings of an eagle
And the balls of a hairy baboon
I'd fly to the ends of creation
And buttfuck the man in the moon
Follow The Hares
----------------
My girlfriend's a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer
A mighty fine lawyer is she
All day she fucks you, she fucks you, she fucks you
And at night she comes home and fucks me
So drink a little, fuck a little, follow the hares
Follow the hares with your tits in the air
Drink a little, fuck a little, follow the hares
Follow the hares all the way
My girlfriend's a hooker, a hooker, a hooker
A mighty fine hooker is she
All day she fucks you, she fucks you, she fucks you
And at night she comes home and she sleeps
My boyfriend's a soldier, a soldier, a soldier
A might fine soldier is he
All day he humps rucks, he humps rucks, he humps rucks
And at night he comes home and humps me
(And so on...)
Oneskin
-------
My oneskin hangs down to my twoskin
My twoskin hangs down to my three
My threeskin hangs down to my foreskin
My foreskin hangs down to my knee
Roll back, roll back, roll back my foreskin for me, for me
Roll back, roll back, roll back my foreskin for me.
My Sister Belinda
-----------------
My sister Belinda
She pissed out the window
All over my favorite sombrero
I said, "You fat twat, you pissed on my hat!"
She said, "I don't fucking well care-o."
Aye aye aye aye
Me and my soggy sombrero
I said, "You fat twat, you pissed on my hat!"
She said, "I don't fucking well care-o."
My sister Belinda
She shat out the window
All over my favorite sombrero
I said, "You fat twat, you shat on my hat!"
She said, "I don't fucking well care-o."
Aye aye aye aye
Me and my shitty sombrero
I said, "You fat twat, you shat on my hat!"
She said, "I don't fucking well care-o."
My girlfriend Maria
Gave me gonorrhea
On a trip down to Rio Di Janeiro
I said, "You fat twat, you gave me the clap!"
She said, "I don't fucking well care-o."
Aye aye aye aye
Me and my globby dick-ero
I said, "You fat twat, you gave me the clap!"
She said, "I don't fucking well care-o."
My God How The Money Rolls In
-----------------------------
Uncle Joe is a registered plumber,
His business in holes and in tin,
He'll plug up your hole for a ten'er,
My God, how the money rolls in.
Rolls in, rolls in,
My God how the money rolls in.
Rolls in, rolls in,
My God how the money rolls in.
My mother's a bawdy house keeper,
Each night when the evening grows dim,
She hangs out a little red lantern,
My God, how the money rolls in.
My cousin's a Harley Street surgeon,
With instruments long, sharp and thin,
He only does one operation,
My God, how the money rolls in.
My brother's a slum missionary,
He saves fallen women from sin,
He'll save you a blonde for a dollar,
My God, how the money rolls in.
My Grandad sells cheap prophylactics,
He punctures the teats with a pin,
For Grandma gets rich from abortions,
My God, how the money rolls in.
My sister's a barmaid in Sydney,
For a shilling she'll strip to the skin,
She's stripping from morning till midnight,
My God, how the money rolls in.
My aunt keeps a girl's seminary,
Teaching young girls to begin
She doesn't say where they finish,
My God, how the money rolls in.
We've started an old fashioned gin shop,
A regular palace of sin,
The principal girl is my grandma,
My God, how the money rolls in.
My father makes book on the corner,
My mother makes illicit gin,
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
My God, how the money rolls in.
Piss Off, Ya Wank
-----------------
Piss off, ya wank, piss off, ya wank,
Piss off, ya wank, piss off,
Piss off, ya wank, piss off, ya wank,
Piss off, ya wank, piss off.
Pissonya
--------
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
In Russia that means "I love ya"
If I had my way, I'd pissonya all day
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
In Russia that means "I adore ya"
If I had my way, I'd shitonya all day
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
In Russia that means "I worship ya"
If I had my way, I'd cumonya all day
Cumonya, shitonya, pissonya
Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
----------------------------------
Put your left leg over my shoulder
Put your right leg over my shoulder
Brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbbb
Put your left tit over my shoulder
Put your right tit over my shoulder
Brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbb, brbbbbbbbbbb
Rover
-----
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is shredded,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no use explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor
(the carport floor),
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, that I over ran,
That I over ran with the mower.
Sally In The Alley
------------------
Sally in the alley was sifting cinders
Lifted up her leg and she farted like a man
Wind from her butt blew out six winders
Cheeks of her ass went "Wham! Wham! Wham!"
The S&M Man
-----------
Who can take a cheese grater
(Who can take a cheese grater)
Strap one to each arm
(Strap one to each arm)
Fist fuck the bitch and make vagina parmesan
The S&M man, the S&M man
The S&M man, cuz he mixes it with love
And makes the hurt feel good
The hurt feel good
Who can take a glass rod
Slide it up his prick
Give himself a woody, then smash it with a brick
Who can take some sandpaper
It's gotta be 50 grit
Rub it up and down til she doesn't have a clit
Who can take a puppy
Grab him by the ears
Do him up the ass til he's crying puppy tears
Who can two ice picks
Stick one in each ear
Ride her like a Harley while he does her up the rear
Who can go to an abortion clinic
Go around the back
Rummage through the trash til he finds a tasty snack
Who can take his bicycle,
Take away the seat,
Put his girlfriend on it, ride her down a bumpy street?
Who can find some newlyweds,
Sneak into their room,
Fuck the bride in bed, and sodomize the groom?
(And many many more...)
The Scotsman's Kilt
-------------------
Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair.
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than
his
share.
He fumbled 'round 'till he could no longer keep his feet.
And stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring-ding-ding-a-ling-a-ladio, Ring di diddle-i-o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
About that time two young and lovely girls happened by.
One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye.
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be.
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt.
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marvelled for a moment and one said, "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow.
Around the bonnie star the Scott's kilt did lift and show.
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards
the
trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
"Ah, lad I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won
first
prize."
Shitty Trail
------------
S-H-I-T-T-Y, shitty, shitty trail.
Shitty trail (shitty trail)
Shitty trail (shitty trail)
You fucking hares laid a shitty trail
S-H-I-T-T-Y, shitty, shitty trail
Some Die of Drinking Water
--------------------------
Some die of drinking water
Some die of drinking beer
Some die of dehydration
Some die of dyarrhea-r
But of all the world's diseases
There's nothing can compare
To the drip drip drip
Of a syphilitic prick
Of a hash house harrier
Swilligan's Island
------------------
Just sip yer brew and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a drunken hash.
That started with a keg of beer
And everyone got trashed, (Repeat)
The first hare was a brainless cooch,
His co-hare was half as smart.
Two hundred some odd half-minds
Took off in a cloud of farts. (Repeat)
The hills got steep, the shiggy deep,
The back checks had them fooled.
Then someone found the beer check
And everybody drooled. (Repeat)
The mud had sucked their sneakers off,
Their legs were ripped a lot.
But once they had their nectar,
The trail they soon forgot. (Repeat)
The moral is no matter how
Much shiggy's on your trail,
A hashin' twit don't give a shit
While he's swilling his ale.
Syphilis
--------
Syphilis
It all started with a little kiss
Now I find it hard to take a piss
Since I contracted Syphilis
Leprosy
Body parts are falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Since I contracted Leprosy
This is a Hashing Song
----------------------
This is a hashing song
It isn't very long
I've Got a Start On
-------------------
I've got a start on
A twelve inch hard-on
That I've had all afternoon
I went to the doctor
He told me to cough
I wish that he'd just lopped the thing off
So come to me Venus
Massage my penis
Shrivel it like a prune
I've got a start on
A twelve inch hard-on
That I'll probably have
That I'll probably have
That I'll probably have til June
Twenty Toes
-----------
There's a game named twenty toes
That's played all over town
The women play with ten toes up,
The men with ten toes down, down, down, down...
What a Wank
-----------
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank
Wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank
What a wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank
Wank, wank, wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank
Wank, wank, wank
Wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank
Wank, wank, wank
Wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank
When I Was Seventeen
--------------------
When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer
Some very good beer I purchased
With a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was seventeen
Where Were You?
---------------
Where, where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat, lazy bastards, you weren't even here
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer
Down, down, drink it all down
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer
You fat, lazy bastards, you weren't even here
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer
Whip It Out at the Ballgame
---------------------------
Whip it out at the ballgame
Wave it around at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjack
I don't care if you give it a whack
Cuz it's beat your meat at the ballgame
If you don't come it's a shame
Cuz it's One! Two! You're covered in goo
At the old ballgame
Why Was He Born So Beautiful?
-----------------------------
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking use to anyone.
He's no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me.
Would You Like?
---------------
Would! You like! A penis in your ear!
Or would! You like! Some urine in your beer!
No, sir, not bloody likely,
Don't fucking think so,
So drink it down, down, down.
Yogi
----
There's a bear in the deep dark woods
Yogi, Yogi
There's a bear in the deep dark woods
Yogi, Yogi bear
Yogi, yogi bear
Yogi, yogi bear
There's a bear in the deep dark woods
Yogi, Yogi bear
Yogi's got a little friend
Boo Boo, Boo Boo
Yogi's got a little friend
Boo Boo, Boo Boo bear
Boo Boo's only three feet tall,
Lucky, lucky
Boo Boo's only three feet tall,
Yogi's a lucky bear
Boo Boo has no teeth at all,
Gummy, gummy
Boo Boo has no teeth at all,
Gummy, gummy bear
Yogi has a girlfriend,
Cindi, Cindi
Yogi has a girlfriend,
Cindi, Cindi bear
Cindi doesn't use K-Y,
Smokey, smokey
Cindi doesn't use K-Y,
Smokey, smokey bear
Cindi is a frigid bitch,
Polar, polar
Cindi is a frigid bitch,
Polar, polar bear
Cindi has a girlfriend,
Klondyke, klondyke
Cindi has a girlfriend,
Klondyke, klondyke bear
Cindi's white and Klondyke's black,
Panda, panda
Cindi's white and Klondyke's black,
Panda, panda bear
(And so on...)
Yo Ho
-----
Yo ho, Yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe
Yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe
Yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe
She said, "Hey hasher, you're way too low!"
"Get in, get out, quit fucking about!"
Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee
Yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee
Yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee
She said, "Hey hasher, quit teasing me!"
"Get in, get out, quit fucking about!"
Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho
So I jammed my fingers in her eyes
Yo ho, yo ho
I jammed my fingers in her eyes
Yo ho, yo ho
I jammed my fingers in her eyes
She said, "Hey hasher, you're way too high!"
"Get in, get out, quit fucking about!"
Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat
Yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat
Yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat
She said, "Hey hasher, you hit the spot!"
"Get in, get out, quit fucking about!"
Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho
Alas we put her in a wooden box
Yo ho, yo ho
We put her in a wooden box
Yo ho, yo ho
We put her in a wooden box
She'd sucked too many hashers' cocks
Get in, get out, quit fucking about
Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho
So we dig her up every now again
Yo ho, yo ho
We dig her up every now again
Yo ho, yo ho
We dig her up every now again
We fucked her once, we'll fuck her again!
Get in, get out, quit fucking about
Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho