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Four Nights Drunk
The first night when
I come home,
Drunk as I could be,
I saw a horse in the
stable,
Where my horse ought
to be.
"Come here, little wifie,
Explain yourself to me.
Why is there a horse in the stable
Where my horse ought to be?"
"Why, you durn fool, you blame fool,
Can't you never see?
It's only a milk cow
My mammy give to me."
"Now, I've been livin' in this world
For forty years or more
And I never seen a milk cow
With a saddle on, before."
The second night when I come home,
Drunk as I could be,
I saw a coat hangin' on the rack
Where my coat ought to be.
"Come here, little wifie,
Explain yourself to me.
Why is there a coat, hangin' on the rack
Where my coat ought to be?"
"Why, you durn fool, you blame fool,
Can't you never see?
It's only a cover-lid
My mammy give to me."
"Now, I've been livin' in this world
Forty years or more
And I never seen a cover-lid
With buttons on, before!"
The third night, when I
come home
Drunk as I could be,
I saw some boots in the
corner
Where my boots ought to
be.
"Come here, little wifie,
Explain yourself to me.
Why are them boots in the corner
Where my boots ought to be?"
"Why, you durn fool, you blame fool,
Can't you never see?
It's only a cream jar
My mama give to me."
"Now, I've been livin' in this world
Forty years or more
And I never seen a cream jar
With laces on, before."
The fourth night, when I come home
Drunk as I could be,
I saw a head lyin' on the bed
Where my head ought to be.
"Come here, little wifie,
Explain yourself to me.
Why is there a head, lyin' on the bed
Where my head ought to be?"
"Why, you durn fool, you blame fool,
Can't you never see?
It's only a cabbage head
My mammy give to me."
"Now I've been livin' in this world
For. forty years or more
And I never seen a cabbage head
With a moustache on, before."
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