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FIGHTER PILOT'S TOAST Here's to me in my sober mood When I ramble sit and think Here's to me in my drunken mood When I gamble sin and drink, But "when at last it's over And from this world I pass I hope they bury me upside down So the world can kiss my assc
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C R 3 I) T t s We express our thanks to the following organizations, individuals, and publications from irhioh we have plagiarized shamelessly is the compilation of this song book of the 46th'Tactical Fighter Squadron. THE 523rd. TACTICAL FIGHTER SQUADRON'S SOIVTG BOOK, CANNON AFB, ¥ JU THE TIGER SONG BOOK SPONSORED BY THE 53rd TIGERS OF THE 36th FIGHTER DAY WINO THE ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIR FORCE No, 79(F) SQUADRON, HBON, THAILAND, 1962-63, and 1965 THE ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIR FORCE ¥0. 77(F) SQUADRON, JAPAN AND KOREA, I95O-5I BEER CALL BALLADS PUBLISHED BY TEE 615th TACTICAL FIGHTER SQUADRON, ENGLAND AFB, LAo THE SONGBOOK OF THE 50th TACTICAL FIGHTER WING, HAHN A3, GERLTA1TY THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE SONG BOOK COMPILED AND EDITED BY THE 27th TACTICAL FIGHTER WING, CANNON AFB, W. "SONGS WE NEVER QUITE REMEJlBSR" COMPILED BY THE 506th TACTICAL FIGHTER WING SONGS JIT MOTHER TAUGHT HE, VOLUMES I AND II ALL THE MEN, PAST AND PRESENT, OF THE UoS* AIR FORCE MD ARMY AIR CORPS WHOs BY KEEPING THESE SONGS ALIVE, HAVE MADE THIS SONGBOOK POSSIBLE.
table of contents song title song number a babbling brook 13 a bomber flies at 10,000 feet 109 a lost fighter pilot 246 ace in the hole 95 after the mission's oyer 281 ain't it a bloody sha15s 98 air force 801 40 air force lament3 the 37 air force s01tg? the 11 a mm without a noiot 174 a fatt prater 76 Angeles POM-POM SONG 258 AND I LEARNED ABOUT PLYING FROM HIM 50 ANTHONY ROLT 267 ARIGATO FOR THE MEMORIES 180 ASS HOLES AHE CHEAP TODAY 160 AUR.ALEE 181 B-36? THE l^l BALL AT KERRY JIUIR, THE 77 BALLS OF O'LEART, THE 158 BALL OF YARN 138 BANGIIT INTO-iULU 209 BARNACLE BILL THE PILOT 43 BASTARD KING OF ENGLAND, THE 159 BATTLE HUE: 183 BESIDE A KOREAN WATERFALL 31 BLACKBIRDS 101 BLESS 'EM ALL 68 BLOOD ON YOUR TUNIC 65 BLOODY GREAT KIDNEY WIPER, THE 28 BLOODY GREAT WHEEL, THE 11 BLOODY SPARROW, TEE 255 BOOZIN1 BUDDIES 58 BRING THAT BASE LEG IN 282 BRITISH GRENADIERS 251 BROWNs BROWN
4 BUDDY 169 BYE-BYE BLACKBIRD I87 CAMEL, THE 90 CANDLE SONG? THE 179 CATS ON THE ROOF TOP 92 CATS ON THE ROOF TOP (JOHN PEEL) 257 CHEETAS, THE 177 CHICKEN SONG, THE 48 CHI TOSS BLUES 69 CLOYIS 239 COCAINE SUE 171 COED AND THE CADET, THE 173 COLD WINTERS E7ENING 18 i
COLONEL'S LATENT, THE 245 COKE ON AND JOIN THE i.IR FORCE 44 CONNIE'S LiilETT 211 COOL 213 CO-PILOT'S LAKENT 57 COWBOY'S LaKEITT 290 CREEPING .hjTD BAILING 220 CONGO SONG 72 DAISY 264 DAIDT DUIl'T, THE 265 dark *td dhs^jt 3yes 277 dear old dad 261 DINAH 2p9 DIRTY L1L 102 DOODLE-LEE-OOO 137 DOTTN 13, The VALLEY 24? DO YOU KHCN NT SISTER TILLY I76 DO YOUR BALLS HaNG LON 205 DRINKING REIT ;JmJ) COCA COLA 232 DRINKING SONG, THE 243 DRUNK 193 EARLY aBORT 99 EIGHT BUCKS A DAY 115 F~84 PILOT'S BiTTLE CRY 275 FAIRCRTLD ABORTIOIN THE 100 FALSIES IL BR_i5SIERS 143 FAPJ3WELL TO ijJTIw UNIVERSITY 61 FATHER'S GRAVE 35 FIGHTER PILOIS 106 FIGHTIN' 68-bii; THE 127 FLAK IN THE NIGHT 125 FL^£ SHOWERS 36 FOGGY FOGGY DETT 291 FORESKIN FUGITIVES 156 F0RI!AIION3 THE 118 POUR BASTARDS? THE 292 FRIGGIN IN THE RIGGI17 144 FUNICULI FUNICULi, 197 GIVE X3 OPERATIONS 24 GLORIOUS 192 GOING HOME 163 GOOD OLD riOUNTAIII DEN 64 "G" SUITS AND PARACHUTES 112 HAIL, YCU EIGHTH! PILOTS 117 HAERY CHESTED EIGHTY SIX, THE 225 EARRIGAN 194 HAVE YOU TRIED YESSUP 21 HERSTS TO 223 HERB'S TO THE NEAT M.JT TO DIE 283 HERE'S TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE 54 HINKY DI 216 ii
HOG JBIVHR 289 HONEY 170 HORSE SHIT 202 HUMORESQOE . 221 HUTCHES BALLlRD 71 I AINT GOT ¥0 USE FOR WOMEN 215 I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE NaVY 80 I WAFT 20 PLAY Pli^O IF a WHOREHOUSE 254 ICE ON THE RICE 157 IP YOU PLY 122 I LOVE A BILLBOARD 222 I LOVE MY GIRL 12 I LOVE OLD TITO OPS AFD ELYIFG SAF3TY I67 IN-FLIGHT REFUELLING 1^6 IN MOBILE 279 in tee springtii:e 210 IN THE TALL, TALL GR^SS I85 INTO THE AIR 113 INTO THE AIR? 69ors 201 INVADER, TEE 126 I SAY HER SNATCH 218 ITaZUKE OeR.I. 41 IT!S TRAGIC 200 I USED TO WORK IF CHICAGO 199 IVAN SKaVINSKI SKA7AR 14 I'VE GOT SIXPENCE 119 I WANTED WINGS 61 I WANTED WINGS (K0RE,J\t VERSION) 62 I WANT TO GO EGO 116 JOIN TEE AIR FORCE 207 KAIHUSALEK 1°3 KEYHOLE IN THE DOOR 195 KHARTOUM 248 KIMPO BLUES 23 KIKPO SONATA 153 KOREA 33 KOTSX SONG? THE 27 KUNI-RI AND i^TUNG 70 LAMENT OF TEE RESERVIST 286 LANDLORD FILL TEE FLOWING BOWL 285 LAST SATURDAY NIGHT 269 LEE'S HOOCHIE 172 LET OLE MOTHER NATURE HAVE HER WaY 237 LET'S HAVE A PARTY 227 LILLY FROM PICADILLY 142 LILI MARLENE 287 LITTLE BROWN MOUSE, TEE 45 LITTLE RED LIGHT 204 LOOK iJP 'THE B/aS ON HIM 1°5 LYDIA PTNKHAIT 145 MaCE RIDERS IF THE SKY 134 iii
liil^ OF THE IIOTFIAIF, THE 186 hap" behtpl tzz -urour ?l.utbl lesk? the 25 k/iliyifc kill, gnu 269 'UTo?u or ?at3"„ters the 273 kary xit 3ir:rs
3 MEET HE i:r KIOTO 42 KIG 15 85 MIH5IE THE 1IERMAIL 191 MISSION. TEE 96 MOOI\ SHINE 229 FONK, THE 272 HOST GHIViXROUS FISH 226 KOTHEE-HDIFH^S BXLL I89 MOTLPP OH" 130 TTT3IANGS RTH t>3 PURLIN 178 :rr jdarlijjtg 39 129 ?11 FOULLY 250 FY CRiNLFATHER!S COCK 249 ilY COD HOT THE HONEY ROLLS IB" 131 KY FED HAVEN 262 111 NILL-BYEL CiiDET 114 Hi TILL IRISH POSE 284 NAPALM 49 NifUCHIY LITTLE LOG 235 NELLY LARLINO
9 NO BALLS zJJ} ALL 15 OLE TO HE B-29 121 OLE TO THE JeOeC, DUTY OPBICER 155 OPP "7E GO 46 OH IT'S BEER? BEER, BEER 152 OH JOFPNLNY 256 OH MY GOL 165 OH RIP THE FEATHERS AUAY
6 OH THE 523rd IS A VERY FIFE SQUALRON 154 OH THEY S iY THIS HIPPO'S A VERY FINE PLACE 20 OLL BEER BOTTLES 91 OLL GREEN RITFR 146 OLL GRAY BUSTLE 133 OLL NUMBER NINE 212 OLL SOLLIERS PETER LIE 86 ONCE THEY HERE HAPPY 110 ON TOP OP OLL FUJI 88 01T TOP OP OLL PYCNGYiXG 87 O'REILLY'S DAUGHTER
7 OUR OUTHOUSE 240 PALLY IIURPHY 224 TiJi TIES 30 PiilTISS, BANQUETS il^L BiiLS 16 PAS LE CAL.-IS 120 PERSIiJf KITTI 78 PHIL, LELPHIi_ LATTER 288
PILOT'S rlR/xTZi: 208 PILOT'S LiilLFT 39 PIPER L_trie 94 piss or the_________. 140 PLEASE DOF*T 3URF THE SHITHOUSE DCHH 17 POOR 3UT HOTTEST 93 POOR LITTLE ,A7GSLIFS 82 PO RIVER VALLEY, THE 66 PORTIONS OT A FOKAH? THE 270 PRETTIEST GIRL I'VE TVER SEEK:, THE I50 PRETTIEST SHI?? THE 111 PUS_OT "U" 74 RAIL CUTTERS 128 RAM3Y AIR PATCH 263 RED HOSED FIGS 89 RED SCARPS 175 REBIEKBER 242 RICKEY DZJT DOO 274 RIFG DiJZG BOO 132 RIFG THE BELL? VERGER 203 RIVER RM RED, THE 83 RIO, RIO? RIO I64 ROLLIF* DOTfF THE RUM AY 2?2 ROLL IS OVER 253 ROLL TOUR LEG OVER 149 ROTATIONAL EVE 234 RO-TIDDLE-E-E-0 25 2 RUGGED, BUT RIGHT 241 SAFE ILitfD IUJJj 52 SAGLT 10 SALOME 162 sam houstof 214 sammy small save a fighter pilot's ass 73 seoul city sue 104 SEPBSQA 188 SHITTY TOI'F 228 SHOW ME THE T"AY TO GO HOME 168 SHIEK OF A1ABY? THE 260 SIDI SLIMLlFE SOFG, THE 236 SILVER THRE_J)S AKOFG THE GOLD 19 SIFG US AKOTHBR OFE? DO 139 SIX POUNDS OF BQ03IES 22 SIXTEEF TIIIES 198 SOFG R&R 26 SOFG OF THE 18th 124 SOFG OF THE ZULU "^JffllOfiS 60 SOUTH OF THE BORDER 231 SPANISH GUITAR 184 SPOT PROIIOTIOiT 97 SPRIFG TI>3) OF THE YiiU 88
SQUADRON SONG 63 STAND TO YOUR GLASSES 59 STAY WITrL GOD
8 SIRAFERS 84 STRAFIN* 'ROUND TIE LOUNTAIN 75 STRUST CLEANER'S SONG 230 STILES
5 TAC HEADQUARTERS 280 TACHIKAWA? YOEAEAMA, ITAZUKE 108 TASGU GIRLS 8l TATOOBD LAD! 79 TELL MB WHY 182 TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS 21? THERE IS NOTHING LUCE SOKE 266 THEY CALLED THE B/STARD STEPHENS 278 THING ^ THE 135 THOSE WEDDING BELLS ARE BREAKING UP 136 THREE OLD MAIDS 271 THREE WHORES PROII CANADA J017CTI0N 161 THROTTLE BENDERS 293 TIE MY ROOT AROUND A TREE 219 TIP-TAJIKS AND TAILPIPES 34 TITANIC 47 TOAST TO THE BLUE ANGELS 107 TOO LONG AT ITAZUKE 123 TO THE REGULARS 56 TO THE TABLES DOTIN AT SIDI 233 TWO LADIES WERE CONFIDING 190 UNCLE JOHN AND AUNTIE I'liiBLE 29 UP THE DUFF 244 VIOLATE MS 148 VIRGIN STURGEON 206 WALTZING MATILDA 294 WE SOLD OUR COW 238 WEST VIRGINNY HILLS 141 WHEN YOUR LEAVES HAirE TURNED TO SILVER 38 WEIPFENPOOE SONG 196 WIRRAWAYS DON'T MOERY LIE 276 WRECK OP THE OLD 197 51 YOU CAN TELL A FIGHTER PILOT 32
All. PORCH SONG
1 Off we go, inxo the Find "blue yonder Climbing high., into the sun £ere they come zooming to meet our thunder At Tem boys, give her The gun. Dotjti we dive, spouting our flame from under Off with one hell of a roar, T'Fe live in fame, or go dorm in flame, Nothing can stop The U, Se Air Force. CHORUS g HereTs a toast to the host of those who love 'The vas tne s s, • f the sk y , To a friend we send a message of Eis "brother men who fly, Fe drink to those who gave their all of old, Then down we roar to score the rainbow's pot of grid* Herers a toast; to the host of the men we boasts The TToSa Air force* Hinds of men fashioned a crate of thunder, Sent it high into the blue - ) Hands of men' blasted the world asunder? How they lived? God only know I Souls of men dreaming of skies to conquer Gave us wings over to soar. Tfith scouts before and bomhers galore, Nothing can stop The U.S. Air Force. Off we go into the blue sky yonder. Keep .your wings level and True . If you'd live to be a gray-haired wonder, Kee'p your nose out of The blue I Plying men guarding our nationTs borders, Tie1!! be there followed by more • In echelon we carry on, Nothing can step the TJ0S, Air Force I SAIulII SMALL
2 Oh my name is Sammy Small fuck em all Oh my name is Sammy Small fuck em all Oh my name is Sammy Small and I've only got. one ball But it's better than none aT all— fuck"* em-all. They say I've killed a man, fuck em all They say I've killed a man, fucic en all I hit him in the head «ith a fucking piece of lead Now the silly fuckers dead - fuck em all. They say I've got to siring, fuck em all They say I've goT to s"ing7 fuck em all They say I've got to swing from a fucking piece of string Fhat a silly fucking thing - fuck em alio 1
SAhlli SI-ULJj (Cont.) The parson he Till come? fuck em all The parson he will come? fuck en all The parson he "ill come with his tales of kingdom cone Fe can shove ep ap his "bung - fuck em all. The hangman years a mask? fuck em all The hangman wears a mask? fuck em all The nangman wears a mask for his silly fucking task What; a sillv fucking ass — fuck em alio The sheriff Fill "be biases boo? fuck e^ all The sheriff will he Jhere too? fuck e"~ all The sherxif -»-ill be chsre boo with his sally fjoking crew They viave f ick all else to do - fvcxz em all „ I saw Kolly in the c eowr19 fuck em all 1 caw T%)ily in tne crown? fuck em all I saw Molly m the cro"^d and I felt so fucking proud That I shouted right our loud - PUCK "EM ALL» hart atjit burjss
3 Hary Ann Burns was the queen of all the acrobats She could do the tricks thac would give a cat the shits She could roll green peas from her fundamental orifice Do a double sommersault and catch them on her tits A great big son-of-a-bitch twice as big as me Hair around her ass like the branches on a tree She can swim? fishy fight9 fuck Roll a barrel, drive a truck Ilary Ann Burns is the girl for me. (Try bloody ass) BPuO'v^T BROW 7 4 (Tune? Swee b Betsy From Pike) There was a young maiden named Adeline Schmidt Sho went to ths. doo bor cause she couldn't snit Ho gave nor so.ro medicine wrapped up in glass Up went the window and ~-a% re at her ass o Chorus s It was brown brown shit falling down Brown brown shit all around It was brown brown shit falling down Covered all over with shit A handsome young copper was walking his beat He happened to be on that side of the street lie looked up so bashful he loaned up so shy "hen a piece of brown shit hit him right in the eye. (Cont.) 2
BROWjtf BROW (Cont.) This handsome young copper he cussed end he swore He called that young maiden a dirty old whore And on Brooklyn "bridge you can still see him sit tilth a sign round his neck sayingy "Blinded "by shit". It was brown brown shi c falling down Brown brown shit all around It was brown "brown shit; falling down His life i-c was ruined "by shit, S TILSS (Tune-Snile s)
5 There ax<=- styles That snow the ankle There are styles "that show the knee There are sxyles that have the "boys all wond!ring •Just what xhe girls are gonna let us see. There are styles that have a tender ireaning That the eyes of men alone can see But the style that Eve wore in the garden Is the style that appeals to me. OH RIP THE FEATHERS ATTAY
6 Oh rip the feathers a^ay away Oh rip the feathers away Oh the ass of a duck ITakes a wonderful fuck If you. rip the feathers away. O'REILLEY'S DAUGHTER
7 As I was sitting at 0*Reilleys "bar Listening to tales of "blood and slaughter Came a thought into my mind Why not shag O'Reilleys daughter Chorus s Piddley-I-E Fiddley-I-0 Fiddley-I-E for the one hailed Reilly Rig~A-JIg-Jig Shag Balls and all Rubby dub dub shag on. I grabbed thax she bitch by the ass Then I threw my left log over Shagged and shagged and shagged some more Shagged and shagged till the fun was over. Chorus s There cane a knock upon -ay door ~fTho should It be but her ^od-dann Father T^o horse pistols ~y 'its sid- Looking for The gay he si-gg-d his da-.gh.Ter (Cont) 3
O'KZILLEY'S DAUGHTER (COJT1) Clio rus i I grabbed that bastard by the hair Shoved his head in a pail of wator Shoved those pistols up his ass A damn sight farther than I shagged his daughter. Chorusi jfow as I go "walking down the street People shout fron every corner There goes the dirty son of a bitch The one who shagged OrReillys daughter, 8 STAT ~<ilT£ GOD (Tune - Dashing through the snow The game was played on Sunday in Heavens own back yard "With Jesus pisying quarterback and Tloses playing guard The angels in the bleachers my god how they did yell Tfhen Jesus made a touchdown against the boys from hell. Choruss (Tune - 0h; Them Golden Slippers) Stay with God? oh lordyy stay with God? oh lordy Jeauo on the one yard line? Moses doin very fine Stay with God? oh lordy? stay with God? oh lordy Hoke em9 soke em, Jesus poke em? stay with God* NELLY DARLING (Tune - Nelly Darling) 9 Oh your ass is like a stovepipe lelly darling And the nipples on your tits are turning green Therefs an odor of blue ointment round your pussy Tou're the ugliest fucking bitch I've ever see* There's a yard of lint protruding from your navel And when you piss you piss a stream as green as grass There's enough ^ax in your ears to make a candle So kindly make one dear and shove it up your ass. SALLT 10 Sally's in the allejr sifting cinders Lifted up her leg and farted like a man ¥ind from her bloomers broke six winders Cheeks of her ass went BAM BAl-T 3M. TEE BLOODY GREAT FHEEL 11 An airman told me before he died (And I don't think that the bastard lied) He had a wife ■with a cunt so wide That she could never bo satisfied,, (Cont*,
133 BLOODY GREAT YH33L (Cont.) So he fashioned "a prick of steel And attached it to a bloody great wheel Two halls of brass filled with ore an And the whole fucking issue we3 run by stearic "Hell, 'round and *round went the bloody great wheel In and out went the big prick of steel Until at last the maiden cried, "Enough, enough; I'm satisfied," But now we come to The bitter bit There was no way of stopping it It split} that bitch fro*?, cunt to tit And xhe whole fucking issue went up in shit J LOYF KY GIRL 12 I love my girl yes 1 0.0 dee3 I do I love her truly I love the hole that she pisses through I love her ruby red lips5 her lilt white tits And the hair around her ass _iole I'd eat her shit gobble slrrp slurp Tilth a wooden spoon A BABBLING BROOK 13 A babbling brook, a shaddy nock? a girl all dressed in yellow Two snow white tits, two rubby lips, ch you lucky fellow Between the hours of two and four when he began to linger She said, "Young men if you are through, I'll finish with my finger„" So he got up and took a piss, and she got up and farted He wiped his jock upon her sock, and that is how they parted line days went by, he heaved a sigh, a sigh of pain.and sorrow The pimples pink were on his dink and there rll be more tomorrow ITIne monthes went by and she heaved a sigh, a sigh of pain and sorrow Two little mutts were in her guts but they'll be out tomorrow. IYM SKAVTI\TSKI SEAYAR 14 Oh the harems of Egypt are fair to behold And the maidens the fairest of fair The fairest, a Greek, was owned by the shiek One Abdul Abbuldul inner A traveling brothel was brought into town By a Russian who came from afar And a challenge went wide, as to who could outride Count Ivan Skavinske Skavar. Ifow Abdiii rode by with his hand on his fly And his bails hanging low with desire And he wsgered a million that he could outride Count Ivan Skavinski Skevar So this spectacle groat res all s°t for a date Iras to o" referee;? T zhs Czar And the streets were all I in 3d to se° harlots entwined filth Abdul e.zd Ivei Shavir (Con't",
T7s3 dK.^YIFSEI SKAVAR (Cont) They met at the track with their tools hanging slack And the starter.? gun punctured, the air They were quick on the rise, people gasped at the size Of Ivan Skavinski Skavar The cunts were all shorn and no rubbers were worn And Abdul revved up like a car But he hadn't a hope 'gainst the long greasy stroke Of Ivan Skavinski Skavar„ Fow when Ivan had iron and was cleaning his gun He "bent down to pick up his pair When something rod hot, up his rear track was shot And AbdisL the "bastard was there, Then the harlots all screamed and the people yelled rtQueenlM They were ordered apart by the Czar But so fast were they stuck, it was fucking D?d luck For Abdul and Ivan Skavar The cream of the joke cane when finally they broke It was laughed at for years by the Czar For Abdul, the fool, had left half of his tool In Ivan Skavinski Skavar, 10 BALLS AT ALL 15 There once was a girl named Sara McFox "With hair on her chest and cheese In her box She married a man named Patrick KicCall With a vaxy short peter and no balls at all Chorusi What? no balls at all? No balls at all« A very short peter and no balls at all, The very first night these two lovers were wed They took off their clothes and. went straight up to bed She reached for his pecker, it was very small She reached for his balls he had no balls at all • low mother dear mother oh what shall I do? I've married a man who never can screw I reached for his pecker. It was very small I reached for his balls, he had no balls at all* Oh daughter dear daughter now don't be so sad It was the same trouble 1 had with your dad But there's manyy a man who will come to the call Of the wife of a nan who has no balls at all
(Con't) 6
NO BALLS AT ILL (Cont) The daughter went home, took hex mothers advice, And found the results most exceedingly nice. A bouncing young baby was horn in the fall To the wife of the man who had no balls at all, PARTIES, BANQUETS AND BILLS 16 (Tune-Take me out to the ballgane) Parties banquets and balls boys Parties banquets and balls As president Hoover once said before The only one ?fay Tie can stay out of a war !Is with parties banquets and bells boys Parties banquets end balls ¥e!ll have parties and banquets and Banquets and parties and Balls 5 Balls5 Balls PLEASE DONT BORN THE SHITHOUSE DOW 17 Please don't burn the shithouse down Mother has promised to pay Mother is drunk, father's in jail Sister's in a family way Brother dear is mighty queer Tines are fucking hard So please don't burn the shithouse down Or we'll all have to shit in the yard, COLD WINTER'S EVENING 18 rTwas a cold winter's evening, the guests were all leaving O'Leary was closing the bar, When he turned and snid to the lady in red, Get outI You can't stay where you are« She shed a sad tear in her bucket of beer, As she though of the cold night aheado When a gentleman dapper stepped out of the crapper, And these are the words that he Scids Her mother never told her the things a young girl should know About the ways of Fighter Jocks and how they come and go. Age has taken her beauty, and life has left its sad scar So remember your mothers and sisters boys and let her sleep under the bar„ SILVER THREADS iJIONG THE GOLD 19 Darling let me fix your garter Just an inch above your knee And if I should wander farther Please don't blame it all on me * The hair around your pussy's turning silver The hair around my cock is turning gold So let's put our two things Togexher Silver threads eno.ig the gold* ICont; 7
SILVER THREADS AMONG THE GOLD (Cont.) So she let ne fix her garter Just an inch. a"bove iier knee And my hand did "wander farther And she pissed all over me. OH THEY SAY THAT THIS KIHPOrS A WONDERFUL PLACE 20 Oh they say that this Kimpo's a wonderful place But the organizations a fucking disgrace There*s Captains and Major's and light Colonels too ¥ith their hands in their pookets and fuck all to do They stand on the ranp and they rave and they shout And for all of their good they might just ps ;rell "be A shoveling shit on the Isle of Capri., HATE YOU TRIED YESSUP? 21 Have you tried Yessup The best "breakfast in the land Have you tried Yessup The "best "breakfast food in the land Delicious 5 nutritious ? the whole day through Jack Hard—On never tires of it? and neither will you Oh have you tried Yes sup, The "best "breakfast food in the lend. Yes sup-Spelled "backwards is Pussy Spelled sideways is Slur-Slurp ,SIX POTTOS OP BOOBIES 22 Six pounds of hoodies In a loose brassier An old used condrun is a glass of beer A twat that twitches like a raooses ear These are the things I love. A dirty whore strolling down the street A bloody Kotex in the runbleseat I love my poontang but I^beat my neat 'These are the things I love. KIEPO BLUES 23 (Tune, A Little Bit of Heaven Felly etc) Oh a little bit of shit fell down Out of the sky one day And it landed in the Chosen Oh so very far away. And when the Senate saw it It looked so fucking bare They said thatrs what we're looking for Ife'll send our Air Force there* (Conft) 8
KIT IPO BLUBS (Cont.) So they sent their n36,s" Air Base Group and mo dies too And they sent The dreaded 336tl" They knew just what bo do* And now you111 find them languished In a place that's sc remote That all you'll hear those "bastards shout's "Where are the so fucking "boats" Chorus % I'ire goi> those Kinpo Blues 9 Kimchi "blues I'm fed up _4nd I'm fucked up And 1 !n blue » We tried to pleaso old Sygman But it really was a farce The only thing twa-s left to do Was shove it up his arse. Chorus % Oh Tre found our Urn a Kater In a house in Tong Dong Po The brass got there hefore us They showed us There lo go GIVE ME OPERATIONS 24 Don't give me a ?~38? the -provs they counter-rotate They've scattered end smitten from Burma to Britain Don't give me a P-38. Chorus g Just give me operations Way out on some lonly atoll For I an too young to die I just want to grow old0 Don't give ne a ?-39 The endine is mounted "behind They'll tumble and spin and auger you in Don't give me a P-39 Don't give me a peter four oh7 a hell of an airplane I know A gound loopin bastard? you're sure to get plastered Don't give me a peter four oh* Don't give me en old thunderbolt9 it gwe many a pilot a jolt It looks like a jng and it flies like a tug Dou!t give me an old. Thunderbolt* ,„ t, & (Con'tj 9
GIVE KB OPERATIONS (Cont.) Don't give ne a P-51? It was alright for fighting the Iron But with coolant tank dry? you'll fall out of sky Don't give me a P-f>l« Don't give me a P-61, for night living is no fun They say it's a lark, but I'd scared of the dark Don't give ne a P-61» Don't give ne a jet shooting star? it'll go5 but not very far Itrll rumble and spout? but scon Kill flame out Don't^give ne a jet shooting star,, Don't give re an E-~845 she's just a gound loving whore She'll whine noan and wheeze and she'll clobber the trees Donf t give ne an jf—84 * Don't give ne an F86? ""ith wings like broken natch sticks They'll zoon and they'll hover? but as for top cover Don't give ne an F-86» Don't give ne an 86~D; with rockets? radar and A/D She's fast I don't care? she blows up in nid-air Don't give ne an 86-Dt, Don't give na an F~89j Tho TIKE says they'll really clinb They're all in the states? all boxed up in crates Don't give ne an F-89» Don't give na an P-94? it's never established a score It may fly in weather? but won't hold, together Don't give me an F-94« Don't give ne a C-45? so slow it stalls out in a dive A gound loop built In it5 and bird colonels in it Don' t give me a C-45 ° Don't give ne a 054? sl^ inches of rugs on the floor And we'll go fat-cat*n, fron here to Manhattan Don't give ne a C-54• Don't give ne a B-45? the pilots don't get back alive Hie Mig 15!s chase en? they soon will erase en Don't give me a 3-45 * Don't give me a one-double - 0, The bastard is ready to blow The A/B is there? bat you're saying a prayer Don't give ne a one-double-0. Don't give ne an ?-102? it never goes up when its blue An all weather ooffin, that flanes out so often Don't give ne an F-102, (Cont) 10
im t"h] o?"teuzccfs (con't) Don't give ne an F-101, a r~t-race in her is no fun. "Tien you're trjmg to Tm, ex 4 G's she digs m. Don't give ne an F—lOl« Don't give ne an F-10£? xncugh oho'11 do ilac^ 2 d'z full "bore, f'rith those short, sxubby wings she can't carry a -tiling. Don't give ro an F-IO4 » Don't give re an J-lO^j in' that; big hog guys don't stay alive. And you'll knew you Jvs "be 01 diddled wnen she braks in the riddle* Don't give ne en J-105* Don't givo ro 0 big F-^Cj "ith two engines, b To soots*, cro ,J3s, In e dog-figut yor'rs done (radar nissilcs, no gun) e Don'x give ne a Dig F~-JC« TFFj I'M BEEIED THE AKMOH PLATED DD&X. 25 (Tune - Strip Polka) Early in the norning when The engines start to roar You can see the old goat standing, "beside his office door "o'll he sweaxng ojt the take-^ff, he's ofxen done hofoie Ti.e ran oshmd the error plated desk0 Four tines he's led us up tnere , end he always led up back For he circled o'er Lac I»P., es we went in xo axtack rle said, "I'r" iierO "o t fair hoys, hut ollergic xo act ack'' The nan henind tne ar-^or pi 0 to a desk*. And ?:hen the xarget!s sighted,- who inspires xhe atxack vho sa^s hundreds A e?j go in lads, hut a few aren't coning hack TTho says ~Te'il disregard xhe nminun, when you supress xlie flak The men b^h-md the ernor plaxed desk „ And when the missions over, end hriefing they slould. be You can search the T"hole field ever, but not a pilox will you see For they'll all be ax the 0 Club, with a nixed drink 111 their hand Singing The Han Behind the i^rnor Plated Desk-, S05G OF R ±Z*D P 26 (Tune - Foonlighx on the 7ebash) T'vhen the ice is on the rice in old Chitose And the Saki in the cellar sxarxs xo freeze I don't want to see ri" wife in San Francisco -I just want to see ^y little Nipponese K0T3X 50I~G 27 (Tunes Ccisons Go Rolling xJong) You can xell by the sroll xnat sne isn't feeling wsll? "Then the end of the ixonth rolls around, How sb^ turns, nc"^ s-c souirns, "ow she gets a case of worns, nan xhe ^id cf t-^ o xh roils rr-md0 (Cont) 11
KOTEX SOJCt (Confc) For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry, Super I Juniori - Band aid* For where ere you go, The blood will always flow, Tfhen the end of the nonth roils around, Keep r en bleedin' when the end. of the month rolls around. THE 3L00DT GREAT KIMEY WIPER 28 The lady of the mansion, was dressing for the hall when she espied a tinker, pissing up against the wall. CHORUS s With his "bloody great kidney triper and halls as "big as three and a yard and a half of foreskin hanging down "below his knee, The lady wrote a letter and in it she did say, I'd rather be fucked by the tinker than my husband anydaye Oh the tinker got the letter and when it he did read His balls slung o'er his shoulder and his penis by his side* Oh, he rode up to the mansion, her rode up to the hall, Gor' Blyme? said the butler he has come to fuck us alle Oh, he fucked them in the parlor, he fucked them on the beds, Lord save us I Cried the chambermaids, We've lost our maidenheads, Oh, he fucked the Duchess standing, he fucked her against the wall, But when he fucked, the butler 'twas the dirtiest trick of all. Oh, he rode out from, the mansion, he rode into the street, With little drops of semen pattering at his feet. Oh, the tinker's dead and buried, I'll bet he's gone to hell He said he'd fuck the devil and I'll bet he's done It well• UNCLE JOEE & /xUM'IE TdJEEL 29 (Time - Hark the Herald ingels Sing) Uncle John & iiuntie Mabel, fainted at the breakfast table, This should be sufficient warning, never do it In the morning. Oval teen has set them right, now they do it every night, Uncle John is hoping soon, to rip rone off in the afternoon, Uncle John hoping soon to rip one off in the afternoon• PxiRTISS 30 Oil, parties make the world go round Parties make the world go round Parties make the world go round So, let's have a party (Con't) 12
PARTIES (Con't) We're never toe busy to 3 ay hello We're never too busy to say hello We 're never too "busy to say hollo HELLO - HELLO - HELLO BESIDE A KORSAF WATERFALL 31 Beside a Korean raterfall, one bright and sunny day Beside his shattered Sabre oets a young pur suiter lay His parachute hung from a nearby tree, he was not yet quite dead So listen to the very last words this young pur suiter saido I1!!! going to a better lano. where everything is bright Where "whiskey floors fron telephone poles Play poker ever3, night „ We haven't got a thing to do? but sit around and. sing And all our crews are women, oh death where is thy sting Oh death where is ohy sting, ti^Lg-^-ling Oh death if he re is thy sting The bells of Hell Trill ring, ting-a-ling For you but not for me Oh, ting-a~iing ling? "blow it out your ass Ting—a—ling-a-ling ling, blo»r it out your ass Ting-a-ling-a-ling ling, blow it out your ass Better days are coming bye and bye ° YOU Ci-iT TELL A FIGHTER PILOT 32 (Tune - iline Eyes Have Seen the Glory) By the ring around his eyeball Tou can tell a bombardier You can tell a bomber pilot By the spread around his rear You can tell a navigator By his sextants9 maps, and such You can tell a fighter jockey BUT YOU CAH'T TELL HIE KUCE KOREA 33 (Tune - IJm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover) I Tm looking over a well fought over Korea that I abhor One for the money And two for the show Ridgeway said stay But we wan4", to go. There's no use explaining Why we're remaining We got what we were fighting for KOREA5 KOREA and diarhea To make the rice grow some more» "i 1
TI7TAFK3 AK) TAILPIPES ( THE WALL) 34 (Tune - Bless them All) Bless them all, "bless them all Bless tiptanks and tailpipes and all Bless old man Lockheed for "building this jet But I know a guy who is cussing him yet Cause he tried to go over the wall With tiptanks and tailpipes and all The needles did cross,, and the wings did come off Ifith tiptanks and tailpipes and all. Through the wall, throi'gh the wall Through the "bloody invisible Trail That transsonic journey is nothing but rough As bad as a ride on the local base base bus So Ifm staying awa^ fron the wall Subsonic for ne and that's all If you're hot you might make it But you'll probably break it / Tour butt and your neck, not the wall. FATHERS GRAYS 35 (Tune - Piccadilly Underground) Oh they're digging up fathers grave to build a sewer And they're going at the job at no expense They're disturbing his remains, to make way for outhouse drains To satisfy some brand new resident, Gor Blimey How father in his day was never a quitter And I don't suppose he'll be a quitter now He'll dress up in white sheets, and haunt those outhouse seats And no one there will sit but he allows, Gor Blimey How won't there be some bloody constipation And won't those bloody bastards rant and rave Which is more than they deserve, for having the bloody nerve To bugger about with a British workmans grave o FLAK SHOWERS 36 (Tune - April Showers) Although Flak showers, may come your way They'll bring the panic, that makes you say My fuel is Josephine, Irm going home So if you want to stay and fight, you may Stay and fight alone* I've added throttle, I'm on my way I'll live to come back some other day So keep on strafing that position And knock it out for me I'm just a close supporter, can't you see 14
Tb_I! All. FORCE LA1IEFT 37 (Tune - The B?ttle Hymn of the Republic) Mine eyes b^ve seen the drye of men who ruled the fighting sky With hearts 'liat laughed at death? who lived for nothing "but to fly But now those no art 3 are greund.ed_? and those days are long gone hy The Air Force's gone to hell I Chorus? Glory flying regulations, have then r-*9d at •yvery; station Crucify tr_e man rho creaks theraf the Air Force's gone to hell! My hones have felt their pounding throb? a hundred thousand strong A mights?- air "borne legion set bo right the deadly wrong But now it's only memory£ it only lives in song. The Air Force's gone to hell I I have seen then in their thimderholbs? their eyes were dancing flame I've seen their sore airing po~er d_ivoss that blcsted Goering's nane But now they fly like sissies and they hang tneir no ads in shane Their spirit's shot to hell I They flew their rugged mustangs through a living hell of flak And "bloody dying pilots ? gave their lives to bring them hack But no" they all plan ping pong in tihe operations shack Their technique's gone to hexII The lordly flying fortress and the liberator too Once "wrote the doom of Germany? with contrails in the blue But now the skies are empty? and our planes are wet with dew And we can't fly for hell I Tou heard your pounding 50's blaze from wings of polished steel The purring of your Jlerlin ras a song your heart could feel But now the L-5 cnarms you wish Its no an in 9 groan in squeal And it won't climb for nelll Have you ever'cjuiai ad v lightning up to where the air lis rthin Have you stuck her long noso downward,; just to hear the screaming din Have you tried to do it lately., better not-you'll auger in. And then you'll sure catch hell I Hap Arnold built a fighting team that sang a fighting song About the wild blue yonder in the days when men were strong But now we're closely supervised for fear we may do wrong The Mr Force's gone to hell I ¥e were cocky bold and happy when we played the angel's game ¥e split the blue with buzzing9 and we rolled our way to fane But now that's all verboten and. we're all so goddamn tane Our spirits' shot to hell I One day I buzzed an airfield with another reckless chap ¥e flew a hot formation with his wingtip in my lap But there's a new directive rnd we'll have no more of that Or you will burr, in hell I Mine eyes get dim with tears when I recall the days of old ¥hen pilots took their choice of being old or young and. bold Alas I h-73 no ohoioe and will live ~zi be quite old The Air Force's gone to lie 111 (Con't) 15
'THE AIR FORCE LAI!EI7I (Con* *:) Tut smile awhile my pilots though, your eyes may still "be wet Someday we'll meet in heaven where the rules have not heen set And God will shew us how to buzz and roll and really let - The Air Force fly like hell! Chorus ? Glory no more regulations? rip them down at every station Ground the guy that tries to make one and let us fly like hell. TCHEF TOTR LEAYES HAYS TURFED TO SILVER 38 (Time - Silver Threads among the Gold) "Jhen your leaves have Turned to silver Kill you. love us just the same Ohj, we* 11 always call you
x Isn!t it a bloody shaixie« To the days at Itazuke And the parties that ~re knew "When your leaves have turned to silver You. can stick them up your flue. PILOTS LAL7EMT 39 (Tune - If I had the T-fings of an -Angel) ITow listen all you pilots and you airmen We will tell you a story sad but true Of many who wear wings but are not happy Gather round while we sing this song to you. The many who wear wings but are not happy Wear* a smile on their lips-, not in their hearts They're overjoyed to wear the badge of an airman But are sad in getting off to such bad starts. A reason there must be for discontentment T!hy the gloom as dark as any blacked out loop Just ask them one and all and they will tell yru I!m not a member of the 312th Fighter Group. AIR FORGE 801 40 (Tune - Wabash Cannonball) Listen to the rumble9 and hear old Merlin roar Irn flying over Moji? like I never flew before Hear the mighty rush of The slipsTream9 and hear old Ilerlin mean I!ll wait a bit and say a prayer 5 and hope it gets me hone, Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801 I'm turning on the downwind leg? my prop has overrun My cool ant fs overheated*, the gauge says 1-2-1 Tou.!d beTter get the crash crew, and get them on the run.
(Con't) 16
AIR FORCE 801 (Con't) Air Force 801 this is Itazuke tower I cannot call the crash crew, this is their coffee hour You're not cleared in the pattern, now that is plain to see So take it on around again, we have some TIP's Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801 I'm turning on the downwind leg, I see your biscuit gun My engine's runnin ragged, and the coolant's gonna blow Ir:a gonna prang a Mustang, sollook- out' down -below, Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801 Irm turning on the final, and running on one lung I'm gonna l?nd this J justang no matter what you say ITve gotta get my chares fized up, before that juogemenc day, Air Force 801, this is judgement day You.!re in pilots heaven, and you are hero to stay You, just bought a Mustang, and you bought it well 1213 famous Air Force 801 was sent straight down to hell* ITAZUKE ORG? 41 (Tune ~ When you wore a tulip) When you flew a Mustang, and. I flew a Mustang In the Itazuke 03 T Other pilots went to briefing We stayed in the sack a1 sleeping Hotter stones you'll never see We were hotter than tabasco, when group pulled each fiasco We excelled in proficiency When you flew a mustang, and I flew a Mustang In the Itazuke ORT, MEET ME III KYOTO 42 (Tune - Meet Me In St. Louis) Meet me in Kyoto, Moto Meet me at the shrine Take your shoes off when you enter Or you'll pay a fine We will have some sukiyaki Then we'll have a cup of saki If you'll meet me in Kyoto, Moto Meet me at the shrine. BARllACLE BILL THE PILOT 43 (Tune - Barnacle Bill the Sailor) The air Corps is the life for me, said Barnacle Bill, .the Sailor I111 jump my ship and leave the sea and be an aviator I'll fly so high I'll reach the sky, gravitation I'll defy I'll make the people moan and cry, said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor,, Pretty soon you'll lose that grin, pretty soon you'll loose u that grin Prett3r scon you'll lose that grin, saiditho fair young.maiden 17 (Con't)
3iiR!fACL3 BILL THE PILOT1 (Con't) I'm rough and tough, I know ay stuff, said Bill, the Aviator I'll fly this ship till I've had enough, said Bill, the Aviator I know a strut, I knoTr b fin, I know a barrel roll and a spin I know a prop, I know a knick, end I ±aiow an elevator. You're out of gas and mis fc go do-.7n, you're out of gas and must go down You1 re out of gas and must go down, wailed the fair young maiden I'm a cokeysd Finn if I'll give in, roared Bill the Aviator IJ11 fight this ship with a flyer's grin, roared Bill, the Aviator He kicked the bar and pulled the stick, which didn't seen to do the trick And he hit the gound like a tv,n of "brick, poor Barnacle Bill, tb=> Sailor. Here's some flowers for his grave, here's sore flower for his grave Hero's some flowers for his grave, sobbed the fair young maiden COIIE ,017 &KD JOUST THE AIR FORCE 44 (Tunes Eamblin' "reek From Georgia Tech) Come on and join the Air Force, we're a happy band they say Tie never do a lick of ?rork, just fly around all day "While others work and study hard, and soon grow old and blind Tferll take to the air without a care, and you will never mind. Chorus s You„rll never mind, you111 never mind Oh.j come and join the Air Force And you will never mind* Come on and get promoted just as high as you desire YouTre riding on a gravy train when you're er. Air Force flyer But just when you're about to be a general you'll find The engine coughs the wings fall off, and you will never mind. One day you'll loop and spin her and with an awful tear You find yourself without ypvx wings but you will never care For in about two minutes more another pair you'll find You'll fly with Pete and his angels sweet, but you will never mind. Yourre flying over the ocean when you hear your engine spit You see your prop come to a step, The god damn engine's quit The ship won't float, you cannot swim, the shore is miles behind Oh., what a dish for the crabs and fish, but you will never mind, I fly up to Yalu, in my F~86 And here's one thing that 3rou can send to Congress in your TUX I*ve only got one engine, Jack, and if the at bastard quits It will be up there all by itself, cause I will shit and. gitc Oh, we're just a bunch of Air Force lads, and we don't give a damn About the groundling's point of view and all that sort of ham ~'Te want a hundred thousand ships of each and every kind .find now we fve got our own Air Force, so we will never- ^indo
lCcn?i) 1C
C0II3 01? AffD JOTS THE AIR FORCE (Con't) Fow we're the operations bunch, and we don't give a damn About those paper shufflin types, with heads just like a ham, Fe want a nundred planes or so, all read;y on the line And they can pad those swivel chairs, and we will never mind Ohy come and get jour "brassy rank as high as you desire You're riding on a gravy train, when youfre in the Admin1 mire The ones and fours have room for more, or so they always find ITith noses in place, we don^T mean on the face, you will never mind. THE LITTLE BR0TfI\r HOUSE 45 OH the liquor was srill-^d on the "bar-room floor The Bar was closed for the night When out of his hole came a little Brown Mouse And he sat in the pale moonlight He lapped up the liquor on the har-roon floor As "back on his haunches he sat
/ And all night long you could hear him roar "Bring rn your goddann cat!" OPE TfS GO 46 (Tune - USAF Song) Back we come, off of a one _iour test hop From over the land and over the sea For this feat we get a, raise in rank Ten days leave, and a DFCc Heroes all, as you can judge by medals Got a lot, and we'll get some more Tie1 re out to conquer, and we will For nothing can step the IToSo Air Force TITAHIC ^ 47 0h? they "built the ship Titanic, and when they had it through The thought they had a ship, thax the water would never come through But the Lork Almighty1 s hand, said the ship would never land It was sad when that great ship went down* Chorus i Oh it was sad, Oh it was sad It was sad when -chat great ship went domi To the "boxtorn* of the — Hus"bands and wives, little hittie children lost their lives It was sad when that great ship went down, T'was on a Tuesday morn, they were nearing Englands shore And the rich refused, to associate with the poor So they put the poor "below where they were the first to go It was sad when thai} great ship went down. (Con't) 19
TITACTIC (Con't) They were nearing Snglands shore and were heading for the dock When the old ship Titanic "began to reel and rock Oh the captain tried to wire hut tne wire was on fire It was sad when that great snip went down* Then the ship began to list, and the lights began to flicker And a drunk cried out? ny God where is my likker So they brought out the bottle and they passed it all around It was sad when that great ship went down. They swung the lifeboats out? o'er the dark and stormy sea Ind the band sTruck up Tith Fearer liy G-rd to Thee Little children wept -lid cried as the waves s"w?pt o 'e^ th=> si^° It was sad when that great ship went down. CHICKM SONG 48 Tfe had some chickenss no eggs would they lay >Ie had some chickens5 no eggs would they lay liy wife said? honey? Itts striking funny We're losing 'money 9 no eggs would they lay On day the rooster flew Into the yard ind caught the poor chickens completely off guard They're laying eggs now? Just like they used to Ever since that rooster5 flew into the yard Th.ey*Te laying eggs now? just like they used to Ever since that rooster, flew into the yard. 1TAPALM ' 49 (Tune - Titanic) Itj was up by Sopori where the Yalu meets the sea I was out on a recce to soe what I could see When I spied a farmer man "with his pitchfork in his hand It was sad when my napalm went down. Chorus % It was sad? oh it was sad It was sad when my napalm went down (hit the farmer) There were husbands and wives Itty bitty children lost their lives , It was sad when my napalm went down. It was up by Kuniri where I won my DFC I was out on a recce to see what I could see When I spied a church below and I let my rockets go It was sad when those rockets went doim. (Con't) 20
HAP ALIC (Conf t) Chorus % It was sad5 oh it was sad It >ras sad when thoso rockets went down (hit the steeple) All the people ran like hell When those rockets hit the "boll It was sad ifsien those rockets went" dox^n* It was up "by Siiian.ju where I knew I was through Ihe 30*s an(l 401s had shot my turbine through It was when I hit the siik? oh my God I strained my milk It was sad when that pil<~t went down, Chori^s % It was sad5 oh it was sad It was sad when that pilot rent down (hit the bottom) There were husbands and wives Itty bitty children lost their lives It was sad when that pilot went down. ALT]} I LEARNED ABOUT PL TIB G FROM Hllf 50 (Tune — I learned about Tomen from Her) I've handled the stick and the rudder I*ve flown quite a lot in my time Ifve had my share of instructors And some of the bunch were fine A bowlegged fellow from Princeton And one that was trained at Cornell And a fellow from Brooks3 but they gave him the hooks And the Shavetail that gave me hell* The fellow frcm Princeton was steady He taught me to takeoff and*land He'd set her down on three points And loop her to beat the band But when I went up for a solo The jennie was steady and trim Well? I landed that ship, but I busted my hip And I learned about flying from him • The man from Cornell was a bad one A son—of-a—gun I will say The dirty tail-spin he gave me Will last for nznj a day I donated a lunch to the cockpit But he dived and spirn her again He gave me a howl when I ducked for the cowl And I learned about flying from him, (Con't) 21
AND I L3AR3H3D ABOUT FLYI1TG PROM HIM (Con't) Tiie fellow from Brooks used the Gcsport And lie talked through a long rubber tube All that I heard was his swearing He spotted me for a "booh I!ll never forget one had tailspin He yelled, kicked the rudder you simp But I didn't kick? I must wiggled The stick And I learned shout flying from him* At last I came to formation And took a fast ship from the line I made the first turn a humming And brought her back upright just fine I sped up the ship without thinking And hit number two in the wing And —~ when I go well, the CO gave me hell And I learned, about flying from him0 I !ve handled the stick and the rudder I've flown quite a lot in my time Ifve had my share of instructors And some of the bunch were fine But take some straight dope from a flyer And go with ITavy to sea For the ships they have- there can land anywhere And learn about flying from me.
^keok of old '97 51 There were 97 airplanes warning up on the apron Uot enough room you could see Ho the first ninty~six were of recent construction Bust the last one was a Fifty-one Do She was old '97 and she had a fine record But she hadn't been flown that year And she creaked and groaned when they started her engine For she knew thet her time was near* A Second Lieutenant wandered into operations And he asked for a ship or two And they said? "Young man, we are very short of airplanes But we'll see what we can do, "Now the first forty-seven are reserved for Majors And the Captains have the next forty-nine But therefs one more ship on the end of the apron The last ship upon the line. We was headed for won on. and from there to Chinhae And he had to make that flight So he said, !t0IOJ if you gi^e ^e a clearance I will get there so e bins toiig_tan vfo/^t) 22
";E3CK: OF OLD '97 (Con't) Oh? he flew over Tee3on and the Taegu airstrip And the ceiling "began to fall
/ And the clouds closed down on the tops of the mountains And couldn't see the ground at all lie flew through the rain and he flew through a snowstorm Till the lighi began to fail When he found a railroad going in his direction And he said, "I111 get there by rail." Ho flew down a valley and he dodged through the mountains ind he kept that read in sight Till the rails disappeared through a hole in the mountains And he ended nis last long flight «> There wes old 97? wi chher nose in the mountain And her wneeis upon bhe track And her throttle was oent in the forward position But her ingin was facing back * ITow ladies please listen and heed my warning- From this time ever on Sever speak harsh words to your flyboy husband He may leave you and never return. saf3 :~:afd mail 52 (Tune - Vreck of the Old r97) They gave nim his orders at old Itazuke Saying, "Bill, you're way behind time J1 Take this safe hand nail in your way weary mustang And put 'er in Fagoya o:i tine., Bill turned and he said to his black, greasy, crew chief "IS my spam-can readsr to roll?"' Just head 'er down the runway and open up the throttle And I'll call Camel Control." There was one dark cloud between Bofu and Fagoya But Bill was a. gauge pilot bold It was in this cloud that he spun all his gyros And his Mustang did three snap rolls. He cane roarin' down the bottom doin' a million miles an hour ¥hen the tip-tanks cane off with a scream They found him in the wreck with his hand on the throttle Still flying the Tokyo beame Fare-thee well, oh fare-thee well Old Bill broke his mustang all to hell There'll be no more suki-hacki at good old Itazuke Fare-thee well, oh fare-thee well. 23
MG0H3HIFS 53 (Tune - You are my Sunshine) You are my moonshine? ny only moonshine You guide my fighters, when skies are grey I chase your bogies9 from here to Moji Just to find they have gone the other way, The other d.aj boys, as I was flying I heard moonshine controller say "I've got a bogie do mi by Kurme "won't you head your jet that-a-way?"1 He said he had me in radar contact And 1 believed him like a dope I fie??" co Koji - and stxII no bogie He had chased, a fly across the scope» You were my moonshine 5 my only moonshine How could you let me down this way lij chute was swingin1 - they heard me singin! ¥onft you take my moonshine away, HHRETS TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE 54 (Tune - llj Bonnie Liew Over The Ocean) In peace tine the regulars are happy In peace time they*re happy to serve But let them get into a fracas and they'll call out the Gcd Damn reserves Chorus? Call out, Call out Call out the God Damn Reserves, reserves Call out, Call out Oh, call out the God Damn reserves. Here's to the regular Air Force They have such a wonderful pian They call up the God Damn reservist Whenever the shit hits the fan. The call up the war-weary pilots They ask for the drafted young man The reservists they go to Korea The regulars stay in Japan* Here's to -Che regular Air Force ¥ith medals and badges galore If it weren't for the God Damn reservist Their ass would be dragging the floor. Chorus 2s Fight on, fight on, Fight on regular Air Force Fight on, fight on, Fight onj fight on Fight on regular Air Force Fight or_»o 24
s?rii:c tike oi\T the yalu 55 (Tune - Tien It's Spring Time in the Rockies) When itfs spring Time on the Talu and the Mig's come out to play And the contrails run in circles, fighter pilots earn their pay We:Il hold our triggers steady when our sights are zeroed in Welll hold our glasses ready when they pass out rum and gin. If hen it's spring time on the Yalu and the map aim is in "bio on ibid your 5°'s do the talking and it is jus a Mig and you Once again yourll hear whisper that my fuel is running low When it's spring time on the Talu then It's time for us to go» TO THE REGULARS $6 (Tune = Mrs and lirs» Mississppi) I wonft forget Korea I can it forget Kunsan For Syngman Rliee and Joe Stalin Have made me feel at hone I flew across the bomhline And got a hole or two But all I got was a crock of shit Fron you and you and you, Chorus i Oh I was called to risk my ass and save the UJ\T» too But all I got was a crock of shit Prom you and you and you The AA was terrific The small arms were intense While flyhoys "bomhed the front lines The division did the rest While the regulars held tlie.ir desk jobs The reserves were called en masse The U« 1STo> knew the air reserve Was the one to save their ass e I Iovg you dear old USA Wi~uh all my aching heart If I hadn't joined the dsmn reserves We'd never!ve had to part But we won't cry and we won't squawk For we are not alone For one of these days The regular's'11 come And we can all go home» ITow we don' t mind The hardships We've fc?ced them in the past But we wonder if out congressmen Have had forties up Their ass We have to fight to save The peace That1c what the hasTards said But when you check the casualTies Torl11 find no sen?tor: Psei. (Con't) 25
TO THE REGULARS (Con't) I'a going to raise a family IThen this was is through I hope to have a bouncing "boy To tell my sTories to But someday when he grows up If he joins the air reserve 1*11 kick his ass from dawn to dusk For that's what he'll deserve. CO-PILOTS IJIMT 57 (Tune-The Cowboys Lament) Oh, Ifm the co-pilot, 8 s I sit on the right I rfiX Quick and ocuxsgeaus and wonderfully "bright I never talk back, for Ifll ha-VQ regret And I must remember whet the captain forgets, I make out the flight plan and study the weather Pull up the gear drop It end stand hy to feather I make out the mail forms and hire his whores And fly the old crate bo the tune of his snores«, I take all the readings and adjust the power Put on the heaters when werer in a shower Tell where we are on the darkest of nights And. do all the hook work without any light o I call for my coaptain and "buy him his cokes And. I always laugh at his horible jokes And once In a while when his landings are rusty I come through with, trCaptain, lrij Gawd But it' Gusty!" All in all, I'm commissioned a general stooge As I sit to the right of this high-flying scrooge But maybe someday with great understanding HeTll soften a bit and give me a landing, BOOZIIT' BUDDIES 58 A fighter pilot lay dying The medics had left him for dead All around him women were crying And these are the words that he said, Take the tailpipe out of my stomach Take the burner out of my "brain Take the turbine out of my kidney And assemble the unit againJ For we are the Wys who fly nigh in the sky Bosom buddies wnile boozin* Yfe axe the boys the;y sent out to die Bodom huddles while bozin^ (Con't) 26
B00ZI2T BUDDIES (Con't) Up in headquarters they sin and they shout Talking of things the~ know nothing about ITe are xhe hoys T4io fly high in the sky 3osom buddies while hoozin* Bosom huddles while hoozin' Bosom huddies while hoozin'„ STAInTO TO T0U2 GLASSES 59 A poor avietor ley a—dying Lu the end of a "bright summer d.ey And his co-nrdds Pere gathered around him To osriy his fragments away,, 01iP his bird was piled on his wishhone And his engine was wrapped around, his head And he wore a spark plug on each elhow Twas plain he would shortly be dead, 0h7 he spat out a valve and a gasket As1he stirred in the sump where he lay And to his sorrowing comrades These brave parting words he say0 1*11 he riding a cloud in the morning ¥ith no merlin hefore ne to course So come along and get "busy Another lad now wants the hearse 0 Take the manifold out of my larynx And the cylinder out of my brain Take the piston rods out of my kidneys And assemhle the engine again„ ¥ith rusted fifties and rockets "With pilots as old as they seem T'le fly these worn out mustangs Against the MIG-15. Forgotten by the land that bore us Betrayed by the ones we held dear The good have all gone before us And only the dull are s-cill hear. So stand to your glasses steady This world is a world full of lies Herers a toast to those dead already And here's to the next man to die <> ?7
30*3 OP TE1 ZT3LI7 vfARRIORS (ConJt) 60 Ay zigga zumba zhYog rramba Ay zigga zuihba ^umba zay -Ay zigga zunba zumha sumba Ay zigga zunba zunba a ay, Hold'em down*; you Zulu warriors Hold1 em down, you Zulu Chiefs Chiefs Chiefs Chiefs Chi~ga-ma-lie—--------oh I I TOTTED TOTGS 61 I wanted wrings till I got the god-damned things ITow I don! t want them any more They taught me how to fly them they sent me off to die I 've had a "belly dull of war You can save those "bloody Zero's for the other god.-damned heroes Distinguished Flying Crosses do not compensate for losses5 Buster, Chorusi I wanted wings till I go the god-damned things Ubw I don1!: want them any more. I113 take the dames while the rest go down in flames I've no desire to ho "burned Air oomhat spells romance, hut it makes me wet my pants I'm not a fighter I have learned Tou can save those Uitsuhitsi's for those other sons~o~bitch.es Cause I'd rather lay a woman than ve shot down in a Grumman, Buster, I\Tow, I'm too young to die in a damned ol PBY That's for the eager not for me I don't trust to luck to he picked up hy a duck After I've crashed into the sea Cause I'd rather he a hell hop than a flyer on a flat top With my hand around a bottle not around a god-damned throttle, Buster, Eow I don't care to tour over Berlin or the Ruhr Flak always makes me lose my lunoh I get a urge to day 7 when they holler bombs away I'd rather be home with the bunch For there's one thing you can't laugh off And that's when they shoot your ass off For I'd rather be hone buster with my ass then with a cluster, Buster, They feed us lousy chow but we stay alive somehow On dehydrated eggs and milk and stew What will they think of next? They'll be dehydrating sez And on that day I'll tell the coach I'm through For I dearly love my hunpin', and I'd love to do seme punpinf But I'd re ther C3i?e -Tith chowder, xhan to come with lumps of powder3 Bustor5 (Conf t) 28 V J
I 1WZ3D "IBGS (Con't) Eow the day that we bombod Metz, I ran out of cigaretts (I always smoke one for my gut) Ihey make them by the ton, "but I haven't got a one Oh what I'd give to have a "butt low the home front may "be pitching, "but I still will do ny hitching Till I find some real sharp cookies,, who can mass produce* > some nookies* Bus ter 9 I don't fly for fun in a P dash five crash one Blazing a path for patton's tanks My wife don't want insurance and I'm not out for endurance ITd rather go to Paris and spend Francs. In England it was blitzes? and in France the Messeaschmidtses Oh' I feel line such a sucker when my ass-hole starts bo pucker9 Bus ter ? I >LOTSD IOTGS 62 (Korean Version) I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things Uow I don't want then any more I don'r want a tour in Korea that's for sure Irve had a belly full of war I don't want my fanny frozen In that putrid l£nd of Chosen Fighting MIG's of Uncle Joe's In an atmosphere that's frigid frozen? buster I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things How I don't want them anymore o I donT t want to die over Antung in the sky MIG*s always make me berf my lunch For me there's no Hey3 Hey screaming Bogies that-a-way I!d rather be home with the bunch Uow there's one thing you can't laugh off Ind that's when they shoot your ass off I would rather be home buster Tfith my ass than with a cluster. Buster I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things low I don't want them any more. SQUABRQF SONG 63 Oh? we are the boys from the 46th Tou!ve heard so much about Ilothers keep their daughters in T,Ihenever we go out We Jre full of whiskey He're always full of booze Ohy we are the boys from the 46tk_ Hour who the hell are youse. 29
S^UaDROF SCWG (Con't) As we go marching And -the "band begins to P*L*A*Y You can hear the people shouting Raggedy Ra^z 5 Raggedy Razz 46th is on parade . Whowawa Who owns this club? whoTawa Who owns this club? whowawa Won. owis this club9 the 'people cried We own this club We own this club The fourty sixth squadron -~e replied It GOOD OLD MOTjlTTAIW DST 64 Chorus § They call it thai: good old mountain de-w- ind then that refuse it are few IT11 hush up my mug if you111 fill up nj jug With thai; good old mountain dew* There's an old hollow tree? down the road here from me Where you lay down a dollar or two Then you go around the bend* and when you come back again Tour jug is full of that good old mountain dew I'ly brother Bill? has a still on The hill "Jliere he runs off a gallon or two The buzzards in the sky, get so drunk they can't fly Just from smelling that good old mountain dew. Itfow my cousin Kort, he is sawed off and short Only measures 'bout four foot two But he thinks he's a giant? when you give hin a pint Of that good old mountain dew„ llj old aunt Iune9 bought some brand new perfume And it had such a sweet smelling phew But to her surprise? when she had it analized It was nothing but good old mountain dew« The flak gets so thick, that it makes you feel sick When you've been on a rail cut or two But you'll never abort, if they'll give you a snort Of that good old mountain dew» BLOOD ON TOUR TUNIC 63 M Air Force Lieutenant to Pusan did stole He!d just come back fro.: a raid over Seoul When an old MP Sgt said? "Pardon me? sir Theres f blood on your tunic and. nud on your knees." (Con't) 30
BLOOD QIC YOUR OTIC (Con(t) Chorus? La de a, La de a Iher's blood on your tunic and mud on your knees Now look here Sgt, you "bloody damn fool I've just come bask from a raid over Seoul Where ack ack is flying and comforts are few And brave men are dying for bastards like you iTow the old KP Sgt said, Pardon, me sir, But on the Lto I meant no slur But the girls down in pus an are hard to please With blood on your tunic and mud on your knees I" THE PO RIVER YALLEY 66 (Tune-Hed River Valley) To the Po river valley we!re going For to gut us some trains and some tracks But if I had my say-so about it ITd still be ^ack home in the sack Come and sit by my side at the briefing Do not hasten to bid me adiew To the Po river valley we Tre going And I'm flying four In flight blue 4, We went for to check on the weather And they said it was clear as can be Now I lost my wingman 'round the field And the rest augered in out at sea= S-2 said therrs no flak where we1re going 8-2. said there's no flak on the way There's a dark overcast o'er the target I'm begining to doubt -what they say A spitfire went by like a whiriwing And a mustang went by like a breeze And a C-46 with one feathered Went by towing five L-3"s. To the Po river valley we're going And many strange sights we will see But the one there that held my attention Was the flak that they threw up at me. FAREWELL TO AWTUITG OTIYERSITY 67 Farewell to Antung ULiiversixy, I have risen to reality Forty thousand is no place for me, with IfIG-15's in the vicinity With cannon balls flying ail around. Makes me wish that I'd stayed on the ground, I should join the infantry, or take the Ifavj and go out to sea* 31 , (Con'i;)
FARF'TBLL TO MTUITG UNIVERSITY (Conft) Where did red leader go, when I called out "Bingo" That's what I'd like to know, just where in the hell did he go He called "Red flight, BREAK BIGHT," all I did was tuck in -night He climbed up in the sun and that's where the fun beganI Flashes behind me, flashes around Plashes above me, and flashes on the goundo I called "Red leader, where in the hell did you roam?" Clear yourself and ride the mach cause I am going home J" BLESS TH3II ALL 68 Bless them all, Bless then all The needle, the airspeed the ball Bless all The instructors Fho taught ne to fly Sent me up to solo and left me to die So if ever your blow jet should stall You're due for one hell of a fall Ho lillies or violets for dead fighter pilots So cheer up my lads, Bless them all Bless them all, Bless them all The long and the short and the tall Bless all the segeants The sour puss ones Bless all the Corporals and their dopey sons Gause we're saving goodby to them all The long and The short and the tall There'll be no promotions this side of the ocean So while we are here bless them all CHITOSS BLUES 69 (Tune-Cigaretts nad Whiskey) Once I was happy and had a dear wife I had enough Yen to last me for life I met a 30san who was on the make The bath it was hot and the Josan was too If you go to Asmuchi my boys your are through I went to my room, some sleep for to get She said no sleep boy, with me ther's no sweat I woke the next morning at quarter past ten She says, "Hey Yankee, that's four thousand Yen*" I'm back in Chitose where we sing and we shouts Me and the Doc are sweating it cut He gave me some pills from a jug on the shelf. Then he pcured out a dozen or two for himself. Chorus? Cigaretts and Saki and wild wild Josans They'll drive you crazy? they'll drive you Insane Cigaretts and Saki and wild wild Josans They'll drive you crazy, They'll drive you insane 32
?;T«I~~£I ill? AITTMC- 70 (T'^e - Cigarette and Whiskey) Once I was happy eaacl had a good deal Flew F^x-_Tigiity-~oi_<:ed at old Yictorville They asked Dior a /alunteer, said, "I'll take you" The next th:.ng I knew I was stuck in TaegUo Chorus i Kuni-ri and Antung, and wild wild Pyong-yang TLey!ll drive you crazy, they111 drive you insane Quad filties and forties and one hundred sorties They'll drive you crazy, they?il drive you insane ~$e go down to "briefing while it is still night le lift; ^ff the ruirray "before it is light ¥e form in \lie gloorr and we 're off on our v-ay T"Te "re over the target "before it is day, T"Te 're up to the laly, there's cons overhead Fe think of The 'Wheels who are snug in their beds he drop our big tips and we hreak to the right "Josie" we cry with all of our might,. 7Te steer on 280, we Tre up in the soup Ife swear that the leader is doing a loop Break out in the clear and set; down on K-2 Be careful or Willie will write about you* Oh the chosen is frozen and all wet with ice From rhirty-f jve thousand she looks mighty nice Bus ask a foot soldier and he'll set you plumb straight It's covered with Reds blood imbeded with hate„ Oh the ICEG is a blot on the whole human race A man is a monkey to give one a chase Here's my description., take warning dear brother There's fire on one end., but cannons on the other, Went up to MIG alley, S-2 said "I\Fo sweat" If I hadnTt looked * round, I'd be up there yet Six MIG's jumped our ass, and the leader yelled "BREAK" Got back to K-10, hoTr my knees they did shake. If I fly a hundred and they ask for more I'll tell them to jam it, my ass is too sore Thej can ram it and jam it for all that I care Just give me a "Wing Job, a desk and a chair« I went on my mission to cut; a rail track They said, "There's no sweat 'cause ther ain't any flak" But The guns from that place would make day out of night Oh god hew I wish all I did was dog fight* (Con*t) 33
KLTI-RI Aim MTUBTG (Con't) Oh it's up to the YeljL in my flying machine The Sul-Ho Keservoir is plainly seen Bui KIGvs ^ut cf Aatung send sweat down my "back So I head towards Xanggje snd get shot down "by flak. I grabbed ihcs^ cwo handles and squeezed—-what a sound A kick \r_ L-e -xs? soon 1 ,jm floating towards ground I shoed the.?, "by "blood si.its they said? "Kb sweat Mao" They nand me on A frsr^c, now I'm walking "back. FLTI^5rS BALL^fr ' Iune~3tr>"e a Little Bit of Hearer) 71 Sure 3 our tsrgot it wes bunkers ~fay out in tie nil Is so grand Located in horea? right next to no "i&ns lan^ Our fans now thsy "ere C^I^'s Mid. they "chough": our Zjustangs grand As we circled o'er the target If a belling "Willie Petern land But our controller was neurotic Fear the ground he wouidn!t go TTe toggled off our babies And we watched then hit "below He had placed his rockets wildly And he'd fouled the whole damn show But when we got the grading Stirs it was Zero - Zero Sure? a little bit of airplane fell From out the sky one day It landed west cf Pyongyang Fot very far away Comet Red won't be coming back It made us very blue But we went on to our target And we dropped our babies true» So we sprinkled it with fifties Just to keep their heads down low Then we hurried back to S-2 To lie about our shot "'Ihen you read it in the papaers All about the 18 th.1 s capers To a will know it's propaganda Por old Barous? Bless his soulo 3i
r:Z3 CUCKOO S01\TG 72 j\Tow the Cuckod is a s Grange "bird It sits on the grass "ifitli its Kings neatly folded and its "bosk up its oss From this strange position
x It seldom does flit j?or it's hard to say "Cuckoo" "With a he ale full of —- -Sweet Violets etc. SAYS A FIGHTER PILOTS ASS 73 (Tmie-Throw a nickel on the Drum) It "was midnight in Korea All the pilots were In "bed TThen up stepped Colonel ^__________________________._t And tills is what he said* "Pilots5 genble pilots, Pilots one and all Pilots Gentle Pilots, oo~ne and save us all TrIhen up stepped & young Lieutenant ¥Ith a to ice as harsh as "brass You can take those God Damn Sahre Jets and shove them up your ass," Cruising down the Talu, doing six-twenty per I called to ray flight leader, n0h won't you sace me sir Got three "big flak holes in yij wings, my tanks ain!t got no gas Mayday, Mayday, Mayday*, got six ?EG's on my ass." Chorus s Oh Halleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a nickel on the grass Save fighter pilots ass Oh Ealleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a nickel on the grass ind you * 11 he saved ^ I shot my traffic pattern? to me it looked all right Turnin' hase to final, ny God I racked it tight The airframe gave a shudder , the engine gave a wheeze Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, spin instructions pleaseo Fould up my crosswind landing, the left wing hit the ground I got a call from mo "bile, "pull up and go around" I racked that Sahre in the air a dozen feet or more The engine quit, I almost shit, tne gear came through the floor. Split S onto my "bomb run, I got too God "Damn low I pressed the bloody button. Let both my babies go I sucked the stick back_in my gut, I hit a high speed stall low I wonrt see my mother when the works all done this fall They sent me up to Than Ho ah, the brief said "Ho ack acku But by the time I got there, my wings were holed by flak Ily aircraft wonlt into a spin, it would no longer fly Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, I am too young to die (Conft) 35
SAVE a FIGHTER PILOTS ASS (Conrt) I "bailed out from my Phantom, my landing was top line I-Iitli my 2 and S equipment, I made for our front line When I opened up my ration tin, to see what was in it My God Damn P*So Section, had filled the thing with shit, Fow in this Coirmie prison camp, I an ohliged to sit For one cannot gc very far, on a ration tin of shit If I am ever free again, I will no longer fly But I'll have ?„B« bollix, for breakfast till I dieo Qh, while rolling do^i The runway, and headed for the di 5ch I looked, down at my prop, Ey' God it's in high pitch I pulled hack on the slick, and rose into the air Glory, Glory Halloluic, How did I get there. The boys up from the o bher group, They think they are so hot They brag about the "Bluetails", that they've so often shot One thing they don't remember, when e're they holler and hoot Is to look into their rirror, just before they shoot0 I hear we1 re leaving the Philippines they say we're going home They tell us no more wandering, never more we'11 roam But the Colonels up at Laiigley, are planning on the sly Just where they're gonna send us, on our next TDY. I started on my takeoff? I thought the flaps vrere down But when I pulled the gear up, the dive brake scraped the ground The General he smiled at me, he thought^ it was great fun But then I met the FEB, and Saigon here I come. We flew our Sabres through, the war, we flew them far and fast But when the war was over, we knew it couldn't last They sent our old instructors, to teach us all their tricks So now we're flying training, behind those dirty pricks. Letting down frm forty-four, busting through mach That Phantom sure was moving now, falling like a rock Ky nose was aimed right at the field, there was an awful sound Since we're flying training now, I'm sitting on the ground, I started up in a loop, I thought that I was clear I pulled up under Colonel Blood, I thought the end was near I went before the FeIJ«,B., and They gave me the works Glory, Glory Halleluia, what a bunch of jerks. Rolling down the runway at ninety eight percent, The colonel cut his throttle, my God I was hell-bent * I pulled off to the left and bounced in the boondocks, Glory, Glory, Eallelyja, what a bunch of rocks „ (Con't) So
SAV3 A FIGHTER PILOTS ASS (Conft) 1 threw "v IhrotTie forward =, up to a hundred one9 I bounced back off ir.e runway lights after the damage's d_one9 I pulled hack on -,he stick and ricocheted some morom Glory, Plor* «, what a "joat" even at full bore. I then puilea up my gear| the cockpit filled with snoke? My wingmau passed me "by, Fy C-od? it was no joke? Then he looked over at r.e and saw a great long tear* Gloryj Glory? Hallelujap how did I got thore? I then cane in for landing just after it started to rain? And tho ce sat Flying Safe by with a go dan ball and chain., I wem; oefore The "boards they gave me the works. Glory, Glorys Halleluja^ what a hunch of jerks, how "Te!ve gone all weather) it's missiles all the way jfight or nurk we inxerlept,, we seldom get to play "lie !ve gone from guns to nissiles9 radar that weighs ten tons ? But r^y friend ? we'll wac your ess the way we've always done J PUSM U 74 We were roaming round the country side? 'Twss down near Pusan hay TTe stepped into a local "bar To pass the time away I i.iet a gal from old Chin Ju She was a sight to view I asked her wnere sne came from and. she said? "Pus an jV' Chorus s Oh. Pus an J, Oh Pus an U The finest school in all the land The University tnat's grand Oh Pus an U? Oh Pus an TJ I hail ny Alcma Hater Oh Pusanj to you I enrolled in that great college Founded by Kim Pac Su 'Twos built of honey buckets So they called it Pusan J The smell it was terrific But fortune saw me throiigh So now I lift this glass to the school of Pusan IJ Chorus s Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U Your course is good for engineers A-frames9 ox cprts pulled by steers Oh Pusan U? Oh Pas an ~J I hail my Alma Hater Oh Pusan, to you (Oon'x) 37
PUS AIT U (Con't) I saw a girl no si. beautiful She was a sight to view She won a "beauty contest She was crowned Hiss Pusen U They spotted her in Hollywood low she's star there too "When asked to what she owes her farce9 She says9 n0h Pusan U.n REPEAT FIRST CHORUS? He have an A-l baseball team He win our carnes straight through They ask us where we cone from And xe say? Pus an IT* He have a pitcher who is tops Oar hatters are good too And ~^qtj time we come to hat The crowd yells9 "Pusan U." REPEAT SECOHD CHORUS? STRAFIH' ROUFD THE HOUHTAIH _ 75 (Tune — She111 he Comin Round the Mountain) How listen all you airmen young and old To the tale of Fighter Pilots young and hold Tfith their fighters painted yellow Leaping off to contact Hellow In the crisp Korean air so "blue and cold. It was dive bomb old 3inuiju3 stop the Reds Eight one thousand pounders loader9 instand heads Four birds lined up on the runway Hish I? d gone to church on Sunday Hope we catch those lousy Commies in their beds Twenty thousand over ~Pjongjsng on Northwest Gas Mask flight about to face the acid test Till at last the Talu River TJhich makes my liver quiver Tlith flak guns lined up twenty-four abreast. Dusty clouds roll up from Aiitung cross the way Twenty swept wing Chinese War birds out to play Thir ty-s evens 9 twenty~thre e s All lit up like Christmas trees Tip tanks salvoed off we leap into the fray. Eimpo tower clear tho pattern in great haste Twenty victory roil our pilots do with grace It was thrilling, it was hsiry Fear that privilidged sanctuary Synghm-n Rhee "will soc"i os president of this place., (Con't;) 38
STRAFI17' ROUND THE EOU3TTAIF (Con't) Kimpo tow^r this is .Gas Kask ?7illie Pour I am neading hine, I'n through with this damn war Cause they're sending "back to Moscow for some more A IUVT PRAY3R 76 Our fatherj who art in Washington druman is thy name The ATavy!s done the Air Force won On the Atlantic9 as in the Pacific Give us this day, our appropriations And forgive us our accusations As we forgive our accusers Lead us not into temptation 3ut deliver us fron Hatth^w and. Johnson For thine is the power the B-36 and the Air Force Forever and ever* Airmen BALL AT KFRRIS KOIR 77 Preludes There was a hall a bloody great ball? the ball of Kerrie Muir Four and twent prostitutes shaggin on the moor Oh the King was in his counting house9 counting out his wealth The Queen was in the bed roon? playing wim herself. Choruss Singing Ifll do ye this time? I'll dee it noo The mon that did it last night? could na do it noo Oh the bride was in the bedroom? explaining to the groom The vagina rot the rectun9 is the entrance to the womb Oh the parsons wife she was ther9 seated down in front A wreath of rosses around her necks a carrot up her cunta Oh the village parson he was there9 and very surprised to see Four and twenty maio_enheods hanging from a tree» Oh the parsons daughter she was ther? she had them all in fits Diving off the mantlepiece? and landing on her tits, They were fucking in the hayloftss fucking in the ricks Tou coaid na hoar the music for the slushing of the pricks They were fucking in the barley5 fucking in the oats Some were fucking sheep and some were fucking goats Oh the village blccksmitii, he was there ? his hammer and his awls Talking to the quesn ^nd showing off his balls (Con!t) 39
TjlJB B^LL _'T KTkRIE IIUIR (con't) They 7ere fuoki-ig in the perlors, fucking on the stdrs You could not seo ths cerpcrs for the come and curly heirs The village idio c he r« s there* a Decking like a foci Pulling his fores&m over his head :nd whistling through his tool. Plowman Jack r_e ~rcs there, the hugger rould n:+ drnoe Sitting with a hard on, and siting for his chance» The fierey Colonel he was ther, he!d fit amongst the Boers He jumped upon the t^ble end shouted for the whores The village cripple he rrs fckerj he couldna do verjr .iuch So he laid the-n on the carpe b, D.id he fucked the-? "tLth is crutch The chimneysweep end he res the ther=>5 re red to put Pin cot For every time he farted, ne filled the room with soot The village postr.an he was there? he had a dose of pox He couldna fuck his lasssie so he fucked bhe letter bos: And when the hall "was over, and the folks went hone bo rest They said they enjoyed the music, hut the fucking was the "best* THS Tillage s:.iithy he was there? he wouldn't play the game He frigged a lasie fourteen times, before he finally cane Twas the gathering of the clan, And all the lads were there A grsbbin' all the lassies and friggin! without a care, THE PERSIAN KITTY 78 The persian kitten perfumed and fair Stepped out in the garden to get some air A torn ct lanky, lean, and long Dirty and yellow cane along He sniffed at the perfumed persicn cat As she walked hy with much eclat Thinking of a little time to pass Whispered, "Kitten, you sure got class" Now fitting and proper the kitten replied As she arched one whisker over her eye "I've been raised on lillows of silk, Never drank nothing but certified milk" Oh I should be happy with all that I got I should be happy, but happy I am not I should be happy, happy indeed. For you see I'm highly pedigreed" Cheer up said the torn cat with a smile Just trust your new found friend for awhile You don{t have to leave your own back fence For ki "-t^n all you need is experience Tales of joy lie then jn furled \Con't) hO
THE PERSIAN KITTY (Con't) As lie told her the story of the ourside "world Then suggested with a luriod laugh That they take a little trip down the primrose path Morning after the night before When the kitten roburned at the hour of four The innocent look on her eye had went And the smile 0:1 her face was the senile of content Months later when the cane To vie those kittens of edigreed fame They weren't persian? they were black and tan And she told 'en that their father was a travelin1 nan A rack en up? shrck en up traveling mm* TATOOED L&DY (Tune-My Indiana Home ) 79 I married me a tatooed lady To roam around her body was a treat And every night before retireing I'd pull the covers back and take a peek Around her waist was Pennsylvanias and on her hip was Tennessee And tatooed on hor hrok was dear old Haekenscck From the state of '~o^ Jorsy How on her chest was Vest Virginia Through those hills I lrved to roam But when I saw the moonlight seining -on the wabash Then I recognized n~j Ind'P na home - ____ I DG3PT Wi.ITT TO -J0I1T THE 1L.VT 80 Monday I touched her on the ankle Tuesday I touched hor on the knee Wednesday with success5 I hoisted up her dress And Thursday her chemise, Gor Blimey Friday I put my hand upon it Saturday night she gave me balls a tweak And Sunday after supper, I rrmmed the old boy up her And now she brings me seven bob a week? Gor Blimey Chorus 1 I don't want to join the ITavy I don't want to go to war I just want to hang around Picadilly undergorund Living off the earnings of a high born lady Don't want a bullet up my arse hole Don't want me buttocks shot away I just want to live in England In Jolly Jolly England And fornicate me bloody life away Call out xhe army r:id the Favy Call out the rahk and file Call cut the r >y-l 'cLrr^-oriols (con't) ,11
I DOh T WAWT TO J OUT TIE FAYY (ConJt) They face danger with a snile Call out "uho hoys cf the old "brigade That made old 3nglar_d free Ton oan Cell out ne Mother Me sister and me Brother But for God's sake don't cell ne, Gor Bliney. TASGj" GIRLS 81 We are from Taegu? Taegu are we We don*t believe in virginity _ Oh horse-shit We don1 b use cradles we use Teoor handles TfTe are the Tas^r girl s And ever j nigh b at; t reive on the --look We re ratoh the white man piss on t^e ROX We like the way he handles his cock We are the Taegu girls» And every year at our annual dance We go around -without an;y pants We like go give those pilots a chance We are the Taegu? talk about y^ur Taegu ? We are the taegu girls. POOP, LITTLE AWGELIFS 82 She was street sixteen, she tjs the village queen Pur and innocent was Angeline She never had a thrjli? ?ao a virgin still Poor little Angeline o Wolf at the village fair,, the Squire was there Masturhating on the village square When he chanced to see? the dainty little knee Of poor little Angelina• So he raised his haty and he said your cat Has he en ridden o'er and sr.ashed quite flat But it isn't far? and I?ve got my car Poor littio Angeline» Mow bhey hadn't gone far9 when he stopped the car And dragged her inxo the nearest bar Where he filled her with gin? to tempt her to sin Poor little Angelina» When held filled her quite well> he dragged her to a dell Where ho atterpted to give her hell By trying his luck*, at a loir down fuck With pocr little Angelinc (Con't) A 2
POQn LITTLE ^TQ3LI>TP (Con't) Hith a cry of rape? 1->z raised her caps Poor lixtls girlie tbero 7&s no escape Unless s one one car:e? to save the nane Of poor little Angeline <, How the blacksmith bold, had. a heart of gold He'd "been her lover for years -untold And he promsed to be true, and gaithful too Poor little Angeline • Put sad to say3 on that -vexj sane day He'd been sent to jail and, there to stay For coring in his pan'cs at nhe local dance 7itb poor little irjngeline How the ■yind'W of his cell, overlooked the dell Wherein the squire was giving her liell As they ley on the gress? he recognised the ess Of poor little Angeline» So -with a nighty start., and a hearty fart He blew the prison bars wide apart And. he ran like shit9 lest the squire should split Poor little Angeline6
f "When he got to the spot5 and saw what was what He tied the villainrs penis in a knot As he lay upon his guts ? he got a kick in the nuts Eron poor little ingeline. Oh blacksmith bold? I love you true7 And from your trousers I can tell you love me too And as I'm all undressed yyou had. better do the rest Said poor little Angeline« How it won't be wrong to end this song For the blacksmith's penis w?s one foot long And this flailing charm was thicker than your- arm Lucky little Angeline 6 THE RIVER R,Itf RED 83 (Tune— Titanic) If umber one was naving fun? number two got quite a few Humber four got some more as he said "Oh the river ran red. with blood of the dead As we came around and. tried to get some nore". The road wag full of ruts, and the ruts were full of guts Little children sucking tits had them shot right from their nits Oh the river ran red with blood, of the dead As we came ground and tried to get some more (Gnn't.) 43
TJ3 itl'/ER 3-^C' RED (Co:i!t) There was r -oner. in t_te crowd, little children cried aloud But they all carried guns for the foe There were some too turned around? when they heard that awful sound As we care around and tried to get sone more„ Oh it seemed an awful crime, as we shot them in their prime But they got nunher three don'x you see Yes they shot hin down with flak, and they "broke is "bloody hack Lb we cane around and tried to get some more, Huzhber one was having fun, numher two got cmiie a fe~~ Fumb^r four got scne ncre as he said "r0h bhe river ran r^d with hlo^d of tae ^ecd x,s tTe ocne around and Tried to get some ^re. STHJLFSRS 81 When I was a cade's, en innocent lad The Chaplin told re the good from the bad _4nd of all his words-, these were his last Fever fly high and never fly fast. So I joined up the strafers with these words in mind And. off to ITew Guinea did go But when I got there I was to find The strafers fly too gosh darn low.«ooOh0 lie fly o'er the trectops with inches to spare There rs smoke in the cockpit and grey in our hair The tracers look fine as strafing we go But "brother you!re flying just too gosh darn low, :.hg 15 85 (Tune- I tTought I taw a Puttyca,t) I fought I taw a I1IG--15, £ weeping up on me I did, I did, I tsw him, as "big as he could he . I am that great "big l'IIG-15, Ivan is my name i>nd If I catch that !84, I'll shoot him down in flane • OLD SOLDIERS NEVER DIE 86 Then up and spoke a srj-lors wife ihid she was dressed in green .And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a submarine She had. a submarine ij boys Ttfith conning tDwer complete _4nd in the other corner she had half the fucking fleet.
(Con't)
OLD POLDIDrtS IT3TSR DI3 (Con't) Chorus i She Iiaa these daik and dreamy eyes 7it_i a whiz "bang up lie nighty Singing Hi J*ack5 cone and have a skin hack Come and have a "bang at Liza? singing Old soldiers never die9 they just smell that way, 'Then up and spoke the gunners wife And, she was full of fun And in one corner ofher funny little thing She had a vickers gun She had a vickers gun ny boys Tith the breech block and the sear And in the other corner she iiad provisions for e year Then up and spoke the pilo fcs wife And she was chewing gun And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a fifty-one She had fifty-one my boys Two napalms and six guns And in the other corner she had rockets by the tons They up and spoke the skippers wife She was dressed in black And in one corner of her funny little thing She had. a fishing smack She had a fishing smack my ~boys The oarlocks and the oars And in the other corner she had bags and. bags of sores . Then nap and. spoke the jockey's wife And she was dressed in i?ed And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a horses head She had a horses head ny boys The bridle and the bit And in the other corner she iiad bags and. bags of shit, Then up and speke the brewers wife Aid she was dressed in grey And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a brewers dray- She had. a brewers dray my boys The barrels and. the beer And. in the other corner she had syph and ghonnorhea* CF TOP OF OLD PY027GYAKTG 87 (Tune- On Top of Old Smokey) On top <~>f old Pyongyang} all covered with flak I lost my poor wingma:i? he!ll never cone back For flying is pleasure 3 and. dying is grief And a quick triggered commie9 is worse than a thief (Con't)
or TOP OF OLD PYOHGTAInFG (Con't) For a thief "ij.1 yust ro'b you, and take all you save But the quioc triggered commie9 will E&nd. you to the grave And the grave will destroy you5 and turn you to dust Hot one JIG in a thousand. A Sabre Jet can trust0 How when the bad weathery keeps the ships down ill day we can hear? this horrible sound Attention all pilots, noir listen to this 'There'll be a short meeting? That you dare rob miss, They111 give us some lectures? then give us some more But we have ail heard tl<3m? twenty-five times or more 3Tow listen you traineess you can!t fight the group TTh.g-i-°v^r th.^y fp>li yon; is superfluous poop» OF TO? OF OLD FUJI 88 Oh top of old Fu,ji9 all covered with snow I lost my jet pilot, from flying too low He put on an air shows he did it for me On top of TIt Fuji? he clobbered a tree HIth throttle wide open? he made his last pass At altitude zero? he bulbed his ass * 3SD HOSE MIGS 89 (Tune- Shrimp Boats) Oh the red nose KIG's are comin' Hot a Sabre in sight Oh the red nose HIG's are comin' And they want to fight Let!s hurry9 hurry ? hurry home Oh won't you hurry? hurry ? hurry home Oh the red nose MIG's are comin' Hot a sabre in sight0 TEH! CAIZ5L 90 The sexual life of a camel Is greater than anyone thinks In monents of amorous passion He often makes love to the sphinx. How the sphinx's posterior organs Are blocked by the sands of the nile Tlhich accounts for the hump on the camel And. the sphinx's inscrutable smile«, •Hie crew they all ride in the dory The captain he rides in the gig It don't go a damn bit faster But it makes the old bastard feel big (Con't) 46
Z1E CAIIEL (Con!t) Chorus g Singing toraly toraly toraly a Toraly toraly A It don't go a damn bit faster But it makes the old bastard fell big Exhaustive experimentation By Darwin and Huxley and Hall Has proved that the ass of a hedgehog Can hardly be buggered at all• Oh why don't the boys down at Harvard Do like the,boys down at Tale TLiej pull all the quills from the hedgehog So it's easy to grab by The tail. Here!s to the girls of ITorth Adams And here's to the streets that xhey roam And here's to their d.±r±j faced bastards God bless them they may be our own „ Here's to old Port Massachusetts And here's to the old Hohawk trail And here's to the Indian maidens They gave us our first piece of tail. OLD BEEH BOTTLES 91 It was only an old beer bottle Floating on the foam- It was only an old beer bottle Ten thousand miles from home Inside was a piece of paper TTith th«se words written on "Whoever finds this „bottIe Fill find the beer all £one. CATS Oil THE ROOF TOP 92 The hippopotamus so it seems? seldom if ever has wet dreams But when he does3 he comes in streams As we revel in the joys of copulation.. Chorus s Cats on the roof tops? cats on the tiles Cats with the syphillis? cats with the piles Cats with their ass holes wreathed in smiles As we revel in the joys of copulation. Down in the Pampas, down in the grass, mama armadillo has an iron bound ass But papa armadillo has a prick of brass As we revel in the joys of copulation (Con't) 47
CATS ON THE ROOF TOP (Con't) ¥ay down south, where the alligators roar There isn't such a thing as an alligator whore Cause all the alligators are too sore As we revel in the joys of copulation, Oh the elephant is a funny old Mock ¥ho very seldom gets his poke But when he does he dips it q_uick As we revel in the joys of copulation. _=sss!wi_^_]_-^^ is a friend of mine His dub he vary seldom pounds? But when he does the halls resound As we revel in the >30jb of copulation. POOR BUT HONEST 93 Oh she was poor but she was honest The victim of a rich mans whim lihen she met that christian gentleman Big Jim Folsom And she had a child by him It!s the rich what gets the glory It!s the poor what gets the blame It's the same the whole world over ~ over over It!s a low down dirty shame How he sits in the Legistlature Making laws for all mankind TJh.ile she walks the streets of Dotham Alabama Selling chunks of her behind Oh the moral of this story Is to never take a ride With Alabama's Christian Gentleman Big Jim Poison And you111 be a virgin bride. PIPER LAURIE 94 Salvation Army9 Salvation Army Standing on the corner in the night, night9 night Beating on your drum with your finger up your bung Singing mama hold my pee~pee while I pee- Sergeant Major, Sergeant Kajor Standing in your uniform so bright bright bright Saluting with your hand ^ith your bollix in the send Singing Corporal hold my pee-pee while I pee. Naughty Baby,, Naughty Baby Keeping all the neighbors up at night9 night, night Standing on your head in the middle of the bed Singing nsna hold my pee-pee while I pee (Conrx) A3
PIPER LAURIE (Con't) General Barous, General Barcus Looking at jour stars so big and "bright, "bright, "bright CoiTiirig down the hill singing Colonel have a thrill Singing Colonel hold my pee-pee while I pee* Piper Laurie, Pipex Laurie Having skoshie chop-chop at the club, club, club As I gaze into your eyessnd by pee"-pee starts to rise Singing Piper hold -ay pee-pee "while I pee „ ACE 13 THE HOLE 95 Oh the >*rorld is lull ol guys, who think tney!re mighty wise Just because they know a thing or two Tou can see then nighc a day strolling up and down Broadway Telling of The wonders they can do There are wise guys and ooozers Con men and crap shooters, fchey congregate around the metropole Wearing fancy ties and. collars, where do they get those dollars They all have that ace down in the hole» Some of them write to the old folks for coins, That's their old ace in the hole Others have girls on the old tender—loin ThatTs their old ace in the hole They'll toll you of places that they're going to see From Frisco fco the old north pole But their name would be mud, like a chump playing stud If they lost that old ace in the hole, THE MISSION 96 (Tune- The Thing) I looked upon the sche'dule and was as happy as a king For once I had a mission when I wasn't flying wing I went down to the briefing room and my tiger blood went ping For there sat Major FIchols and they had me on his wing For there sat Major Hichols and they had me on his wing^ The mission was all briefed to go at,quarter after nine Big Bog had given us all the poop, the weather it was fine "One word of advice" ho said to us,"Though I hate to spoil your fun Stay out from in front of the ITG-15 it's got too big a gun Stay out from in front of the MIG-15s it's got too big a gun. TTe were augerin' around away up there as watchful as could be fieichman said, "Take a look at six and see what you can see.." I took a look afc six o'clock and much to my surprise 1 discovered a I1IG~15, right before my eyes I discovered a l'IIG-15; right before my eyes. /
v • o
THE MISSION (Con't) The cannon balj.s were flying around as thick as they could he I took one look and said, pays I, This ain't the place for me I rolled it over and sucked it through and took it down below Sayin1 get out of here with that BOOM BOOM BOOK and donTt come "back no more Sayin1 get out of here with that BOOH BOOM BOOM and donft come back no more . I shoved the throttle to the wall a runnin' for my life Skelton said, "Come hack you coward and join into the strife." ''Tour ass," said I with quaking voice, "This ain't no place for me.'f So I racked it up and pulled it around and took it out to sea So I "racked it up and piilied it around and took" it out to sea. I roiled it out of that six G turn out o'er the briny deep That j'IIG could not have followed me cause I sure racked it steep But when I looked back? Oh there he sat, as fat as he:Gould xhe And. he was shooting Those cannon balls, and they were coning right at me . ind he was shooting those cannon balls, and they were coning right at me « I took hit upon the wirig, another in the tail The way that Sabre was 1urchin* around I'd surely have to bail I braced myself and said a prayer and pulled the handle red Ohs if I hadn't gotten oat of the flaming irreck, I surely wound up dead Ohj if I hadn't gotten out of the flaming wreck, I surely wound up dead. Ihe moral of this story is, if you're up in a fight And you've got a MIG at six o'clock, and he's all tucked in tight Don't ever roll out or pull it up, that's my advice to you Cause you'll never get rid of the Son of a Bitch, no matter what you do Cause you'll never get rid of the Son of a Bitch, no matter what you do. S?0D? PROMOTION 97 (Tune- Cold Cold Heart) Irve tried, so hard my friend, to think That rank was worth a lot But now you've gone and got yourself Promoted to a spot Tour job is one that could be done By any PPC How can I get your ass shipped out ind get that spot for me <> You'll be a full fird soon, mj friend Of that I have no doubt The T/O's being changed right now They ripped it inside out Lieutenant General, ffing CO The staff all gets one star At least wefll have some rank around To help v* fight the rex0 (ConTt) 50
SPOT PROLOTIOIT (Tune-Cold Cold Heart) (Con't) Another week or two in gri.de We'll put you in again You. needn't wait to learn your job That's for enlisted i.en The only thing I envy is The talent that you got How oan I get your ass shipped out And get your open spot. AIN'T IT A BLOODY SHAMS (Tune-Poor "but Honest) 98 ~\e "fere fat back in the Trumanfs Drink beer, and sometimes wine "Fhen they said, nTou!re going over To Korea's fighting line.*' We were young and we were eager To get one hundred and go hone But they slipped the finger to us And left us here *- far o'er The foam How they sit in FEAF Headquarters Mking rules so much unkind It's the same the whole world over Isn't it a bloody shame Shed a tear when you think of us Sitting here on old K-2 While you sleep with all our sweethearts As we fly the old Yaluo EARLY ABORT / (Tune-MacMamara's Band) 99 Oh, my name is Colonel_______________, I'm the leader of the group Just step into my briefing room, I'll give you all the poop I'll tell you where the Commie is, and where the flak is black I'll be the last one off the deck, I'll be the first one back. Chorus 1 Early abort, avoid the rush;, early abort, avoid the rush Early abort, avoid the rush Oh my name is Colonel__________, I'm the leader of the group • « ,- My name is Hagor____________________ and I lead old liberty An if I go on rail cuts, my boys will follow me But if you say Pyong-Yang, I'll tell you what I'll do Get into your plane and gc ahead, end 1*11 wait here for you I'm sure you've heard of nightmares, and the things they do But if you'll come down to the line, you'll see they1re far from true The pilots they ere re-a;;, but let the skipper snout (con't) 31
EARLY ABORT (l\me-Mac£femara's Band) (Contr) And all those oastards yell at once, "My mags they won't check out!'5 And they I'm surs you know of the leaders in the i"ing My night in the D Club you can hear how well they sing ¥ith words they fight a hell of a war, they say they wanta go too But just you give then half a chance, and hereJs what they will do. Oh I fly the old Invader, and. Douglas says itTs great But when it cozies to fighting MIG's, those bastards don't rate I was horn to he a fighter, to grapple in the "blue But when it cones to fighting HIG's I'll tell you what I-fll do Ifow we111 all line tip and take off, and set our course at ten And when we rerch the no return, we'll all turn trek again We'll call tlio tower and get d steer, we don!t know where we?ire "been Drop your tanks and canopies, peel off and helling in* Oh we fly those bloody Sabres at a hundred bloody feet We can fly then in the rein and fog, and in the bloody sleet We think we!re flying bloody south, instead we're bloody north And we make our bloody landfall at the Firth and bloody Forth. 0 we fly those bloody Sabres at a hundred bloody feet We can fly then in the rain and fog, and the bloody sleet And when we're flying bloody high, we!ro flying bloody low And we hit the marker beacon such an awful bloody blow. ITow when this war is over and we're back in the U» So A.= We'll fly the planes in all war games, and do what the Generals say But if we have another war and they give us the "86 To hell with all the geno staffs, we won't get in that fix, THE FAIRCHILD AB0R1IQW (Tune-Strawberry Roan) 100 Out on the flight line one cold Sunday morn Sat the Fairchild Abortion all battered and torn The wings were sagging, the tires were flat The form one had a red line, I'll bet you on that We fired up both engines with mixtures full rich And took to the runway with that son of a bitch We puched on the power, she farted and stalled And got off the runway, no airspeed at all. We called to the tower, "Single Engine,'1 we say "What the hell," said the tower, ''We got them all day" "Go around," said the tower, 'He can't lex you land We got Gooks on the runway dragging off send, We milked up the flaps, and rolled in the trim Over the tree tops that old wreck she did skin We turned on final and free fell the gaar (Coii'i) 52
THE FilRCEILB ABORTION , 1 , (Tune-Strewberry Roan) (con't) The engineer nurriersdj "Plecse hcve no fear!!, The pilot was scared^ the Co-pilot too The engineer had ail he could do The runway was coming and coming up fast On third of the runray had already passed We pulled off pewc-r and she settled in fast That one-twenty-three had landed ct cist, BLACKBIRDS (Tune-Bye Bye Bicckhirr1) 101 Here we stend c:i the ground ¥e won't take off till the sun goes down ¥e fly "blackbirds Go in lew and coF.e out fs-st Keep those fighters off our sss ¥e fly Blackbirds„ Kb one here can ever understand us You should here the malerky they hand us Mix those drinks and mix em right Because we lre standing down tonight Blackbirds we fly. BIRTY LIL 102 Birty Lil, Dirty Lil Lives on top of garbage hill Sever took a bath Never will AchI Ptu.il Birty Lil. * KATHUSELEK 103 In ancient dcys there lived a maid ¥ho used to ply a filthy trade A prostitute of ill repute The harlot of Jeruselem Choruss Hi Ho Kathuselem the harlot of Jeruselen Hi Ho Eathuselem the daughter of the Rabbi Eathuselem's snetch was bold and bare Upon her gash there grew no heir For hair won!t grow on the thorof:re Like the snrtch of old Kathuselem. (Contr) S2>
lATHUSELEII (Con't) Ket_~usclc~ a < curia as round and red For for 13 yerrs it kd not bled It spelled rs "though it Led been dead Since the To .nding of Jeruselen <> Ifo Kathuselea was a wiley witch A god damn fucking son of a bitch. And every pecker that had the itch Had dangled in lOtnuselePi. Ifeort door there lived a giant tall His prick of steel jDOuld smash a wall His halls Irung down like basketballs The giant of old. Jerusalem«, One night x earning from s spree A quite consis t-ent jubilee His balls hang ifell below his knees He chanced Across Kotruselem And so he challenged her to fuck And wishing her the best of luck He led her to a shady nook And there unfurled his mighty hook He led her to a shady no ok And there unfurled his mighty hook For forty yards it throbbed and shook The wails of old Jeruselen This giant of old was underslung He missed her cunt end hit her bung And writh his giant pecker stung The pride of all Jerusalem. Zathuselem she knew her art She cocked her ass and blew a part She blew him like a bloody dart Through the wells of old Jerusalem* And there he ley a broken mass His cock all bent with siiit and gas Kathuselem got up and wiped her ass On the walls of old Jerluselem. SEOUL CITI SUE 104 (Tune-Sioux City Sue) I drove a herd of oxen down Till I reached old Bong Chong Way And there I net a gook girl Who said she!d„ like to Dlay Her clothes were of a dirty blue Her hands and. feet "ere t^o 54 ;:c-^t)
SEOUL CITY SU3 (Con't) (Tune-Sioux City Sue) I asked 3ior wh-t her ncme was She said, "Seoul City Sue.," Chorus § Seoul City Sue, Seoul City Sue Your hair is "blacky your eyes are too I'd swap ny Loney oart for you Seoul City Sue? Seoul City Sue Kb one smells of Kirchie Like ny sweet Seoul City Sue Oh, Korea, I oust admit I owe a lot to you I eerie here iron America To find Seoul City Sue Someday I1!! tal:e her bexk with ae And by her perfumes too So people cairfc't be singing "Here comes Seoul City Suec" -LOOK AT THF SMS Off HIK 105 I heard they wanted men to fight as aviators hold So I went do"m, Held up my hand, and this is whrt they told "Youfll go to Kelly Field and learn to navigate the sky" When I got t'lere I was SOL for this is how I fly, Chorus 1 Look at the ears on him, on him Oh I How do you get that way? That was the greeting I received as I inarched in today First they put me into the kitchen? KP was my name I wrote my girl that I was a flier Gee I but I'm a wonderful liar Look at the ears on him, on him Oh5 How do you get that way? That is the only battle cry I hear both night and day If ITm to fight in this great war and end the Kaisers^redgn They'd better take up me kettles and pans And give me an aeroplane <> I've peeled a million spuds since Irve been in this flying game I've swung a pick and shovel, till my weary back is lame I've navigated lots of ground but not an inch of sky And when I ask about aeroplanes, I rear the same old cry, FIGHTER PILOTS 106 (Tunes Samny Small) Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell Oh the place is full of queers, navigators, bombardiers But there are no fighter pilots do7m In hell* p5 (CorJt)
FIGHTER PILOTS (Con*t) (Tun o i S anny Sn al 1) Oh there are no fighter pilost in the states Oh there sre nn fighter pilots in the states They are off on foreign shores making nothers out of whores Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states,, Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan They are all across the bay? getting shot at every day Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan. Oh there are 'no "bomber pilots in the frej Oh there are no bcihbor pilots in the fray Hiey are all in ~JSOfs wearing ribbons? fancy clothes Ob there are no bonber pilots in the fray* Oh the bonber pilotsss life is just a feroe Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce The automatic pilot's on he!s reading novels in the John Oh' the bonber pilot's life is just a farce • Oh the bonber pilot never takes a dare Oh the bonber pilot never takes a dare His gyros are uncaged? and his wo.nen overaged Oh the bonber pilot never takes a dare« Oh rhi'iew are no fighter pilots up in iring Oh there are no fighter pilots up in iring The place is full of brass, sitting round on their fat ass Oh there are no fighter pilots up 'in "ring* Oh itTs naughty naughty naughty but it*s nice If you ever do it once you'll do it twice It111 wreck your reputation? but increase the population Oh it's naughty naughty naughty but it's nice. When a bonber jockey "walks into our club When a bonber jockey walks into our club He donft drink his share of suds, all he does is flub his dub OH THERE IS BO FIGHTER PILOTS D0T7F IIT HELL. TOAST TO THE ELLS A¥GELS 107 (Tune-This Old House) This ole tean gonna need revision This ole tean gonna need a crew This ole tean has thrived on ginnicks Have you seen our pink and blue This ole tean has frosty tailpipes This ole tear has lost its charn And the captain said The other day My boys, you!ve bought; the f am „ 56 (OcrJt)
TOAST TO THE BLUE ANGELS (Con't) (Tune-This Old House) A_inH gonna need this toan no longer AinTt gonna need This bean no more Ainrt got tine to learn the dienond Ainft got tine to learn the score AinTt got nerve to do a "bomb burst Or a plane to do the roll And "wore looking for the PIO ?7ho got us in the hole. This ole team can't fly in -feather This ole tean canft fly in rain This ole tean is out of pints of blue Tfe Ere called old yellow stein This ole team is getting lonesome This ole tean has gone as~ray And refre just five angel puddy cats Awaibin* judgement day* Ain't gonna need this tean no longer Ainft gonna need this tean no more Ain!t got tine to be a tiger Ain!t got tine to give a roar Ain!t got planes that hold together Or that G-suit underwear But we !ve got our pretty flying suits So we donft really care. TACHIEAlfA, TOKOHAIIA, ITAZUKE 108 (Tune-Hawaiian TTar Chant) Tachikawa? Yokohama? Itazuke Tachikawa? Yokohama? Itazuke Tachikawa - - Yokohama ~ - Itazuke is the place Ahp So9 (Tachikawa) | ah5 so (Yokohana) Ah, So? (Itazuke)? Ah5 So? KIFPO Frozen Chosen is the place for you iiy hoy Frozen Chosen is the place for you r.j boy Frozen Chosen, Frozen Chosen, Frozen Chosen is the placee Ahs So (Frozen Chosen)j Ah So, (Frozen Chosen) A BOMBER FLIES 10,000 KILES 109 (Tune-Sing us Another One) Our bomber flies ten thousand niles Our "bomber flies ten thousand niles But a "bomb like a cherry Is all our bomber flies ten thousand nilcs (Con!t) 57
A P0IIB3R FLIES 107000 MILES (ConH) (Tune- Sing us .Another One) Chorus i S'^aC-i' boys? steady hoys Here kernes another lie0 Said pilot to bomber7 how slick Fingin^ this target's no trick But r.y God how strange We're flesh out of range Strap on my parachute quick The Air Force sure has the life Wine 9 toden and song is the pirn 'There rs medals by "baskets In the I'-O-Fi starlet command p~80!s =>re certainly keen li to daring your tendencies lean 3ut ~"e krant it said We s d not he caught dead In such a:: infernal machine With our homhers the world will he shocked At three hundred miles theyTire been clocked But while,dreaming up tricks With the 3-1'j We've all had. our heads up and locked* The X—1 was cruising the "blue The pilot fel"c something quite new Chrisr what a sensation Vfhere?s public relations The Legion of Merit will do Our homher goes ten thousand miles We cJ aim it hut only with smiles "While crashing the harrier We pooh? pooh? the carrier That really goer ten thousand miles, Oh we know what we're saving is true We got it directly from Stu We love the blue yonder But sometimes we wonder Just who!s doing what and to who So listen young men as we say Be careful of wings and flight pay There*s no prohibitions On suicide missions So come join the Air Force today 58
OhTtU TJIEYx PFjRj) HAP^Y 110 v Tup^-Fen en tne Flying Trapeze) Once they Tcre heppyc, completely at ease They fie: bhwir F~30's like a swingin' trapeze 'They looped en? thoy rolled er.? they bounced DC-3's But alas "c~z s? Their wings have been clipped, One day they approached Itazuke Jet leader called echelon right Mustangs at nine o'clock level Let's see if 8th fighter Trill fight The F-80rs "broke left and the Ifjstangs broke right I think t"->cy see us, says 301 four in fright They'ro all pi111m streamers says 30t number ~^z?e=> L-t's go ~<~">q? this is no ploce for ~e „ The je fcs rcaded hone ax s nundred percent In face invber four had tie throttle shop bent Back to ITieawa., to Misawa they went Never to oojrice any more. TE3 PPETII2ST SFI? Ill (1) (Leader) The prettiest ship (ill) The prettiest ship (Loader) Out on tre line (All) Out on the line (Leader) The IZG-13 (All) Trq ;iIG-15 (Leader) Flies fast and fine (All) Flies fpst and fine (Leader) ^h.^ prettiest ship (All) The prettiest ship? out; on the line The I'IIG-15 flies fast and fine. (2) "When we go up and fly at noon The LIG-15's leap off the noon (3) Then they cone down and pretty soon A pissed-off tiger lowers the boon (4) On all our plmes we paint red. stars For EIG~15rs that land on liars (5) We chase then up to forty-fcur That fox exght six ain't got nuch more (6) The throttle's set right ar full bore We'll never catch thct little whore (7) Then the3" start home and Casey calls We're letting down no sweat at all (8) We're coning m with thirteen chicks Twelve IIIG's one fox eight six (9) The nor el of this story is cleer When you start hone just check your rear (10) Cause if you d.on't you're sure to find A MIGr-15 -Duelled in behmg. 59
!:-*f SUITS iuTD P,,RAC?7JTDS 112 (Tunc-Bekk Bottom Trousers) Once there was a barmaid, down in "brewery lane Her mas-ocr was so kind to her? her mistress was the same Hong cane a pilot? handsome as could he He was the cease of all her misery Choruss Singing "G" suits and parachatss Ana uniforms of blue He!11 fly a fighter Like his daddy used to do„ He asked her for a pillow to rest his weary head She gave IL to Mm willingly ana lost her maidenhead And she lo-Ke a silly girlo thinking it no nam Clined in hed heside him jt^st t,o keep the pilot ¥?rn0 How in tiie morning he fore tne "break of day A five pound note he handed her? and this to her did say ''Take this my darling9 for all the harm Ifve done For you may have a daughter and. you may have a son If you have a daughter9 put ribbons in her hair And if you have a son? get the bastard in the air." Bow the moral of moral of my story as you oan plainly see Is never -crust a pilot an inch ahove the knee The oarmaid trusted on and he vent off to fly Leaving lor a daughter to help the time go by. Final Chorus s Singing nG'T suits and parachutes And uniforms of blue Shel11 never fly a fighter Like her daddy used to do0 INTO THE AIR 113 Into the airj UoS Air Force Into the sir? Pilots true Into the airj UoS0 Air Force Keep your nose up in the blue And when you hear the engines roaring And the steel props start to shine Then you can "bet the UcS= Air Force Is along the fighting line., Into the airj junior birdmen Into the air5 upside down Into the airy junior birdmen Get your nose up off the ground And wren you hear the great commencement Any you win your wings of tin Tou will know the junior hirdment Have sent their box tops in* *0
i:i HILD 3IED CADET - 114 (luiie-Ly wile Irish Rose) My wild eyed Cadet, lie ainTx learned nothing yet He noses her dorr, when close to tno ground My wild eyed oedct. He lips in hi^ banks <, if l:e lives we'll all give thanks I hear diuns js-sting low. and men inarching slow Behind wild eyod cadets, EIGHT BUCKS A DAT 115 Open up the t1 rotxlo till the needle hist thr ocg Eight bucks a Cc2,s Eigh b "bucks a day Dive cT.d roll °n<! loop h^r till she's -^i ngl^s os p T<=>g Sight "bucks a dry is 5he pay Close "cno gate? look :ke door Cause we wonft core bac<v to Langley no ^oro ¥eTll land at oveiv filing field to San Francisco Bay Sight bucks a day is the pay* I 1"AFT TO GO HOME 116 I want to go home I I /"ant- bo go hone I The gas tank is leaking5 the motor is dead Hie pilot is trying to stand on his head Take me hack to bhe groundv I don't want to fly upside down Oh? myI I'm too young to die I want to go hone <> HaIL YOU FIGHTER. PILOTS 117 From PohunkuSp Tennessee- Came a hastare that was ne And my father shoveled snow fron off the stree Well when I was vexj young He found a o'ianond in xne dung And he sent ne here to sing this song to you So hail9 oh Eail, you fighter pilots Fill your glasses full of brew And we111 have another glass To the latest noreses ass In the squadrons of the yellow and the blue• TEE FOHLATIOK" 118 Here's a health to the formation leader9 a jolly good fellow is he He uses three star navigation,, and flies on Bacardi Here's health to the leaders tow wingnen, to the gunner within his~Turelle Here's a health bo the whole damn formation9 ve1!! fly reviews in hell. 61
I'v~3 GOT SIX-PENCE 119 I've got six-ponce, jolly jolly sixpence I've got six-pence, to last me all ny life I've got tuppince to spend, and tuppence to lend And tuppence to send hone to ray wife, poor rife. Ho cares have I to grieve ne No pretty girls to decieve ie I1 : happy as a lark "believe ne As 7re go rolling rolling hone* Rolling hone, Rolling hone By The lighT of The silvery noon Happy is The ^ay? viae a tho Air Force gr u" its Day As "e go rolling rolling no^e • PASB3 ClLiZS 120 2\Fotj* you can send ne twice a day To the Pasde Calais But donTt ever send ne over the Ruhr Send ne to Paris or a target in Franco Any old pice that I night have a chance You can send ne Twice a d~y To the Pasde Calais But don't send ne over The Ruhr You nay think I'm Tacky But I'a only slightly flaky Don!t send ne over the Ruhr Now the slert's on the phone The target's Cologne My God, That's on the odge of the Ruhr. Send ne to Brenen or old potsdan tofrn Any place you can see through the flak to the ground You car send, ne twice a day To the Pasde Calais But don't send no over the Ruhr Por even when I'm planning on aborting Don51 send ne over the Ruhr 01)3 TO THE B-29 121 (Tune-Whiffenfool song) We are four little fans xho have lost our way, GROWE, GROWR, GROW We are four little fans who have s^e astray, CROiJR, GROW, GROWR One third pilot out on the left, one third pilot out on the right
-" "George" is flying vith all of his rixght, Grovrr, GROVR, GR01RH 62
IF YOU FLY 122 If you fly an 09, you must be dumb, deaf, and blind For your life ainft v:orth a dine, what's your scheduled blow up time Chorus? Will you go Doom today, will you go "boon today Two blew up yesterday, Allison einlt bore to stay If you fly an 86, you must really get your kicks Bouncing the all "roather "boys, playing rith their rrdar toys. If you fly a 94? yon will never holler more For your lot we dc nob pine, itfs better thon an 39* If you fly a thunder-jet, you will really have no s»T8at For your life you rill not pound, the clunker wo-iTt get off the ground.* TOO L03FG AT IT^UICS 123 Too long at Itaauke Look just like a little gook Eyes that slant, nose that's flat » Speak Japanese, "You caught a nuskrat" Me work in rice—paddy Go Geisha house and drink saki Me jo-jo lumber One Japanese boy-san0 SOSTG OF T3E 18TH 124 (Tune-Vreck of Old 97) It's a long, long road fron Pusan to Pyong-yang And the mountains are high and wide If ny engine quits? you can write off a mustang Cause I'm fixirig to go over the side* ' Col. McBride led his boys on a mission And the chinks started throwing up flak He said, "Run en up boys, and we'll clean out our engines And the drinks are on the lasr one to get back. Close support is a damn fine sortie Cause you work so close to the troops You get hit twelve tines by a 20 or a 40 And your engine coughs, sputters, and poops. So you hit the sild and you land in a meadow. And the chinks start blazing away And a 'copter comes along and picks up your olho*" Registration boys will find the rest scire day* It's a damn fine war and I love every mission And I guess I!:i here to stay 3ut I'd rather shag r broad by ^ugge^tivo ooiuion Or caxch the clap in Sante Fg. 63
rL.ii: I!\F THE EIGHT 125 Pron Ilunscn to Anju, fren Pyongyang to Yaiigdok Wherever the rs& trucks go I've be on on some rough rcv.tes, and had no some tough bouts But there is one thing I know The red balls -,;ill get you9 they're worrisome things That lead you to sing, the flak in the night. .Hear the 8th a-cailing, hear the 13th bailing Dentist, oh dentist, oh bromide, oh broride Oh snowflake, oh give ne a steer oh give re a fix I'm lost in the night0 THE XWADES 126 Oh the invader is a very fine airplane Constructed of steel and tin It will do over three hundred level The plane with the tailwind built in Oh? why did I join the Air Force
\ Mothers dear Mother knew best For hero I lie in the wreckage Invader all over my chest, THE FIOHTIFG 68TH 127 (Tune-MacNamaras 3and ) We're here to tell a story cf squadron 68 Cane over fron Ashia to join the fighting eighth Theytre sitting hero before us, tapping up the brew Thej donTt belong in a fighter group, but what can Chitty do, Chorus! La da da da, "What can he do La da da da, What can he do La da da da, What can he do Oh they don't belong in a fighter group But what can Chitty do. They fly their old night fighters, they take off after dark They donJt know where they're going, they1re just up for a lark They never brief, they always beef, fly strictly on a hunch Their call should be "Banana" cause they fly in such a bunch. Tou know we also fly at night, thank God the times are few We often hear night fighters saving, Moonshine, is that you? Won't you tell those nasty shooting stars to land they're in our wayl RAIL CUTTERS 128 (Tune-Cold Cold Heart) I tried so hard-, Wild Bill, ^o cut That streak of railroad track 61 (Con't)
RAIL CUTTERS (Con't) (Tune-Cold Cold Heart) But I'm afraid that all I did Was dodge that flying flak I know that one is all it takes To "blow my ass apart Why can't I get just one rail out And melt our cold cold heart. Ill DiRLIHG 39 125 (Tune-My Darling Clementine) In the cockpit of the Cobra Trying hard to reach the line But alas my engine faltered Fare thee "well ny 39 Chorus § Oh my darling9 Oh my darling Oh my dsrling 39 You are lost and gone forever Fare thee well nj 39 ¥hen yourre spinning very flatly And you've got a worried mind That's all "brother , hit the jump sack BSd farewell to your 39 All the "brass hats in our congress They have signed the dotted line They are lucky they just bought it They don{t fly the 39. M07T1T 01 130 "When you hear the patter of tiny feet, itfs the 49"th in full retreat They're movin on, they'll soon "be gone They've pushed around just long enough, thery're movin on Hear the pitter-patter of the little feet, it's the first marines in full retreat They're movin on. They're movin on They're "burning gas they're they're hauling ass, they're movin on. Hey GI you pissed off at me, Whet's the matter you got no VD I'm movin on, I'll soon be gone Ho'ney hucket turned over in the middle of the road, In movin on. Mama-san movin down the track, with a CI baby strapped on her "back She's movin on, She'll soon he gone If she catches GI papa-sa, he'll he movin on. 63 (Con't)
HOY Lit OH (ConTt) Oh. here goe.6 the Commies runnin down the pass PIayin the burp gun on a gyrene!s ass He!s movin on, he's movin on Tou!ve been flying too high for this little ole guy So ITm novin on. Ihe ole Loun dog was feelin fine, till he jumped in a barrel of turpentine He]B novin on , he!s movin on He crashed the gat like a P-38, but he's movin on. xhe old ton cat was feelin mean,, till he ccught his tail in a se*win nachine ffcs 155 noTin on a he 's mcvi-"* on He nissed a s bitch when be hit the 3 itch, but; he's movin on* MT GOD HOW QBE 110T1LY ROLLS IH 131 My father makes rn in the bathtub My mother makes two kinds of gin Ily sister makes love for a living My God how the money rolls in. Chorus? Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in, rolls in Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the noney rolls in, Ily brother's a poor missionary He saves little girlies from sin HeTll save you a blonde for five dollars My God how the meny rolls in. My uncle paints real frenchy postcards My auntie she poses for him Her costume cost nary a penny My God how the money rolls in. I tried making ail kinds of whiskey I tried making all kinds of gin I tried making love for a living My God the condition I'm in. Choruss Sin, sin, sin, sin, my God the condition I'm in, ITm in Sin, sin, sin, sin, my God the none 3- is rolling in. My father died in the bathtub My mother she died of her gin My sister she married my brother MT GOD T,fHhT L JESS I 1M lit. Ird an uncle who was a nightwatchnan Who spent all his nights in the pit, He used to come home all over in shit. 66 (ConTt)
:>J GOD HO"T IFF M01T3Y ROLLS IF (Con't) My Auntie moiufgo .urcs French letters My ecusin pricks nolos with a pin My -uncle perfoims the abortions Ily God how xhe ziciiey rolls in. RIITG DMO D00 132 (Tune-Jimmy Crack Corn) When I was young and sweet sixteen I met a girl from Hew Orleans Oh she was young and pretty too She lied what yoLi c?ll a ring-6ang-^00 * A ring—dar.g-dooj pray what is that It!s r^und and s ;f t like a pussy cat It*s round end. soft and split in two Th3t!s what y^u call a ring-dang-doo She took me down into the cellar She said. I was a very fine feller She gave ne wine and whiskey too ibid she let ne play with her ring-dang-doo She took me up into her "bed She placed her tits "beneath nj heed And then she took my hickey-floo ilnd. placed it in her ring—dang—doo How six months later she began to swell She swelled and swelled till she looked like hell She told her ma and her father too That I took a crack at her rmg-dang-doo Her father said you filthy whore You*ve gone and lost your maidens lore Pack up $:our bag and your nighty too And make your living from your ring-dang-doo She went to the city to become a whore She hung a sign upon her door Five dollars now nothing else will do D?o take a crack at my ring-dang-doo, And the fellers cane- and the fellers went And the price went down to fifteen cents Fifteen cents and nothing else will do To take a crack at my ring-dang-doo And then one day a son of a bitch He had the crabs and the jockey itch He had the syph and diarrhea too And he took a crack at her ring-dang-doo 67 (Con?t)
RIlvO DUG DOO " (Con't) ( Cune-Jimmy Crack Corn) They hirig >.or -its in the city hall They pickled hoi- ass in alcohol low all you boons and hobofs too You!vs heard nj talo of the ring-dang-doo Bo they buried her near the city hall And they engraved upon the wall Sh_e!s learned her lesson and you should too Just stay away from the ring-dang-doo* OLD GREY BUS OLE 133 (Tune-Old Grey 3xmet) Put on ycur old grey bustle and get out and bustle For tomorrow the rentss coming due Put your ass in clover let the boys look it over If you can't get five take two „ Put on those old pink panties that used to be yjur aunties /did we111 go for a tussel in the hay Fow thor's no use duckin! cause you!re goona get a fuckin1 In tho good old fachioned way, Put on your old grey corset if it winft fit force it For the fleett is coming in today As the bees make honey let your ass make money In the good old fashioned way* Put on that old blue ointment the crabs dissapointnent iind will kill those bastards where they lay Though it scratches and it itches it will kill those sons of bitches In the good old fashioned way, MACS RIDERS II? THE SKI 134 (Tune-Ghost Riders In 'The Sky) A grey E-4 got airborne one dark and ^iiidy day And. as he raised his landing gear, you could hear the pilot pray Keep all those buckets in the wheel and Ifll be safe and sound Dont let th^se fires go out, Dear Lord, till I am on the ground* Chorust Yippi-i-o, yippi-a—a-a Mach riders in the sky The black sabre-tooth tiger puts the commies on the run wVve been famous since that bitter day in fourty-one Though wo may work on holidays, and weekends just the same The 45th makes his-cor3r, Oh bless that fpnous name. 66 (0-r_rt)
J^CE RIDERS IF TEE SKY (Con't) (Tune-Ghost Aiders In The Sky) And as our phantoms leave t,as ground, their -tails are spouting flame ihe pilots all nay go through hell, nut fly en just the sane The crew chiefs "jrk their asses off to deep em flying high And lood wi oh satisfaction at their phantoms screaming "by. Day and night our pilots fight to live up to their name Other pilots cone and go, but ours fly on to fame ThejlTQ going to fly forever ir_ that range up there on high Thej cuss end cry, 'Live or dio," MACH RIDERS IN THE SKY. TEE THING I35 I fve flown abound for many e 3~orr? from 3erlin to Taegu But ne^ex a thing I saw like the thing, cruising along the Yalu I was tooling up and down one day, "with nary a Thought on my nind Tthen suddenlj- was this ?JLL? rii>ht up my "behind Klien suddenly was this ???_.9 rJ-&ht "&P niy behind* I dropped my tanks and broke to the righto called help to my wingman He took ore look at the ???<? and he turned around and ran And then I called on another guy, Known as Maple red But when he saw the ???, he ducked his nose and fled But when he saw the ???, he ducked his nose and fled And then there was this other bird, who yelled get altitude Ihere may be more of -chose 222,? an<^ Irve los"k ay fortitude Then finally came this swepi-wing thing9 on of the famous forth He said I'll get that 222.? ili3 ^I-C"fciGS spattered forth He said Ifll get that ???, his fifties spattered forth* And then I looked around again, end mucn to my surprise I saw him clobber the 2?2j> rigb.t before my eyes The MIG blew up went down in flames, his comrades followed suit Because of the guy m The ?_?j\ ~jljl° ^new ius^ ¥llen *° shoot Because of the guy in the TTJj 'jho lzn°1J d^^ "when to shoot, Now all you jockeys of eigh~y~rours, herers my advice to you Never go cruising up and down, north of Sinanju Unless you?ve gob -ujl^ Famous Fourth, hovering over you Cause theyrll take care of the ?J2j ^^ knolf Just what to do Cause they* 11 take care of the '?_??, they know just what to do. THOSE WEDDING BELLS ARE BREAKING UP 136 Not a soul down on the corner It's a pretty certain sign Those wedding bells arc breaking v:p That old gang of mine. (Conrt) 69
CE0S3 iimDIJG 33LLS ARE ERSL6KIFG UP (Con't) All The boys are singing love songs They've forgox Sweet Ado line Those Tedding "bolls are breaking up That old ga-ig of rin.-. There goes Jack, there goes Jill Down through lovers lane Kow and thon<, we neot again But they c3onT~c seen the sane G38 I gex txiat Icnesone ieel ing Fhen I hesr t/h^se cnurch hells oiiiire do so wee 'mg oelis »ro breaking up Tha b old gong of mine = DOODLl-LHE-DOO 137 Please sing xo me That sweet nelody Called Doodle-lee-doo,j doodle—lee-doo Is doodle-lee-doo*, doodlo-lee—doo Simplest thing? there isnrt nuch to it 111 you go b to do is doodie-loo-doo it I love it soj wherever I go I doodle-lee-doole-lee—do„ Two little loverss under -he covers What'11 they 6o? doodle-lee-doo I would suggest thab they should undress ind doodle-lee-dooj doodle-Iee—doo Cherries are red, ready for plucking I'm sixteen and I'm ready for highschool I love ix so ? ■whereever I go I doodle-lee-dooodle-lee-cLoo« Please do to me what you did go Karie Last Saturday nighx, Saturday night It must have been reel, cause I heard Marie squeal Last Saturday nigHt, Saturday night Don't know what, what you were doin' Somebody said you were doodle -loe-dooin I love it soy wherever I go I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo• Miss Enma Snow went out on a show Called doodle-lee-doo? doodle-Ioe-doo She nede a hit gust playing her hit In doodle-leo-dooj doodle-lec-doo Twenty four hours? that's ell there was to it How in this world did she doodlc-lce-doo it Got a Rolls Royce, but hot bv her voice But ^o^l-'-lee- doodle-lee-e'en , 70
BALL OP TARN I38 Tnras a s-unny doy in June all -the flowers were in bloom The birds were singing gaily on the fain ¥hen I spied a r.aiden fair and I said -unto her there Let me wind up your little "ball of yarn* She said sir can't you see you're a stranger to me But follow cie out "behind the barn There's a shady little noek beside the babbling brook Fliere you. oen wind up my little ball of yorn0 Fow jDVug men take my advice never stajr out Icte at night And you'll never lose your clierrj cr 3rour charm Be like tre bluebird end the robin keep y-^ur little P fron bobbin' And y^uTll never wino up that little ball Df yarn, BTEG US idTOTSEE OILS DO 139 There was a young man from Boston T'Tho traded his car for an Austin There was room for his ass and a gallon of gas But his bells hung our and he lost era, Chorus 1 Aye aye yi yi, In China they never eat chili Sing us another one Just like the other one . Sing us another one, do There was a young nan fron Dundee TTho buggered an ape in a tree The result was most horrid, all ass and no forehead Tree balls* and a purple goatee* There was a young nan fr^n Kildair Who buggered his girl on the stairs The bannister broke, he doubled his stroke And finished her off in aid air, There was a queer fron Khartuon I'lho took a young lesbi?n to his .coon They argued all night, as to who has the right To do what? with which, and to whor* There was a professor fron the Mall T'Tho possessed a cylindrical ball The cube root of ixs weight, plus his penis, plus eight "ifas one half of two thirds of (fuck all. There was a joxmg girl frjn St Paul "Who wore a newspaper dress to e ball Her dress caught on fire, and burned her entire Front page, sports scebim and all* 71
'' fo^ ? f^ {J. ^ Vy 'J.X L' J
3IFG LIS ./MOTHER OITE DO (ConJt) There "'ras c young lady from Whecling Who line! a peculiar feeling She lc?id on bur oack, and tickled her crack And. pissed all over the coiling« Hie re was a y >vng nan from i\Tan tucket Whose dick was so long lie could suck it He srid TTith a grin, as lie wiped off his chin If my oar were a cunt I could fuck it. There once "as a young nan iron Kent Whose dick wos so long that it Dent To St'YG hinself trouble, he put it in Oouble _4:id ir ~ to re1 of o o r ing ? he wc- n t. There once was a non 31 class Whose halls i"cre n ado of "brass When they swung together, they played stormy weather And. lightening shot out of his ass „ There was a young man from Sparta Who was the worlds champion farter On the strength of one bean, he played God save the Queen And Be e t h o ve 11x s Mo o nl i gh t S on a t a <= There once was a man iron Rangoon Who was horn by the light of the moon He had not the luck, to be born by a fuck But was a wet dream scooped up in e spoon There once was a boy from Baclaridge And. he was his parents disparage He sucked off his brother, and went dom on his xnother And. ate up his sisters n-iscarrige. There once was a pilot from K-2 Who buggered a girl down in Taegu He said to the Doc, as she handed hin his cock Will I lose both ny testicles too. There once was a man from Trieste Who loved his wife with a zest Despite all her howls, he sucked out her bowls jbnd deposited the mess on her breast, In the garden of Sden sat Adam With is hand on the butt of his madam Ho chuckled with mirth, for he knew on this earth There were only two bolls and he had em« There ^as an old hermit named Dave Who kept a dead whore in his cave He said Ifll admit, Ifm a bit of a shit But think of the money I save <. 72 (CcnV)
Ci\7C IS jyOTHER OFE DO (Con't) Thor^ or3o ,7^3 a g*J' :ace^ .ilice THio r.scl r. dyi.jn-.c- s~ ck for a fallice The:' rcrV per -rig ;ia= in south Caroline. Jin? : ^iof- of her hymn in Dallas. There cnoc vcs a girl :roa France ITho he^rdec1 c .rain by chance The on^mecr fj_cked her, and so'd the conductor .hie air 3rok^man von t, off in his pants* There once vas a men fron Bombay ^klo P~"s>3.\^i>eC a cunt out of cley do ' oc b or his prick9 tvri-ied bho cley in+o "brick ir ^ ~~^C. al jiis Toroskin arfy, '^ic-'g o ice ves a girl ncned Gail Be ;vo.n _icr cits ret a price of her tail Aiii -_. her behind? f r the sake of tho blind ¥as tic sane information in braile* There nice >'as a girl from the Azores ¥Loo" cunt vas ril covered "with sores Tho 6j{-s :n the street*, vhould not eat the green meat That hun ■" " - f 3 toons vrom her drawers. hjro ves c young gir] from Peru ho Ba c a- the Bishop vithdrev Thie ~\/„c.r ..s quicker, he's also a licker i_nd ccr.sic'ernbly flicker then youe There vas a jouhg priest fron Dundee Tfho vent in the garden to pee He said Pa^c To Biscum? I cen't make bhe piss come out I guess I've got C L A P, There ~tdb a young girl noned Myrtle ¥ho Vc s raped on the beach by a turtle The results of tne fuck? vas two eaggs and a duck Fhich proved thet the turtle vas fertileo There vas a young man from Nottingham Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham Just vrtching the stun us, of the cunts end the punts ijnd the trices of the pricks that vcre fuckingharu An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno Said fucking is one thing I do knov All vomen are fine, and sheep are devine But lianas are numero uno. There vas a young man fron lev Brighton
v Who said my dear you've a tight one So ad she pon rry soul, you have the wrong hole It's tho one up in front tiirt's the right ->r>e. 73 (Con't)
3IITG US MOTHER 01\TS DO (Con't) There i;as a nan from St Janes Who played most unusual games . Eo lit a natch? to his grandmothers snatch. And laughed as she pissed through the flames, There once was a man named KcCruder TTho wooed a nude in Bermuda Few the nude thought it crude, to be wooed in the nude But IlcGruder was cruder? he screwed her. There was a young nan from Kieth ~"Tho skinod bask pricks with his booth lb iTesn!t f">r pleasure 9 he ad op bed this measure But f~r "Che ciieo^e he f'^urd underneath, There ATas a young lass named Alice 7ho peed in the Archbishops chalice It was not from relief? as "^as the belief But purely from prodestant nalice» There was a young bishop from Birmingham ""ho didled the nuns while confirnin1 ren He brought fchem indoors? slipped down their drawers And slipped his Episcopal worm in Ten. There ^as a young nan from Brock Who tied a "violin string to his cock With just one erection,, he could play e selection From Johann Sebastian Bach. There was a young lady from Ransom Tfho had it three times in a hanso : Wlien she cried for more? a voice from the floor Cried my name is Simpson? not Sampson* There once was a girl from Cape Cod Who thought all babies came frm Gad But it wasnTt the Almight who lifetod her nighty It was Roger the lodger the sod» There once was a lady named Lil Who swallowed an atomic pill They found her vagina in Forth Carolina And one of her tits in Brazil • There once was a pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba on skates He fell on his cutlass, which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates There once was a m~nk fr-n Ilongolia Whose life was lonlier and lonlier One night just for fun? he to Ac out a nun And new she's a Ilother Superior, 7-1
PISS 0I\T TH3 ___........... 140 Let's ail go do"n and piss on -the Piss on the______, piss on tho _________JUL" LotTs ail go down and piss on the ______^ __ Till they float away Till they float away Till they float away Let's all go doTn, and piss on the___________ Piss on the 9 Piss on .tho________ Let's all go down and piss on tho ____________ Till they float away. W3ST VEHGIHIA HILLS 141 In uhe hills of West Virginia, lives a girl nailed Fancy Brown AInft novor such a beauty, in city or in bown How Fancy and tho Deaoon climhod the mountain come high noon And when they reached the summit, it was very very soon. Oh she cane rollin down the mountain, roll in down the mountain Roll in doim. the mountain by the don And in spite cf his urgin, she remained the local virgin And is just as pure as West Verginia ham, Wow along can a trapier, Henderson "by name He took little Sancy, end the story's just tho sane » She cane rollin down the mountain, rollin down the mountain Rollin do"Jn the mountain "by the shack And in spito all of his urgin, she remained the local virgin And is just as pure as Pappy's applejacke But along cam a slicker, with his hundred dollar bills He took our little nancy, a way up in tho hills, iincl thoj1" she stayed up in the mountains, stayed up in the mountains Stayed up in the mountains all that night She came home next morning early, more a woman than a girlie And her pappy kicked the hussy out of sights How she's livin In the city, livin in the city Oh she*s livin in the city mighty swell Shefs done away with pots and kettles, and she's eatin fancy vittles And those West Virginia hills can go to hell» But along came depression, took slicker by the pants He had to sell his Packard, had to give up little Hanc' So now she* back in "Jest Virginia, Back in TTcst Virginia Back in West Virginia as of yore And tho Deacon and the wrapper, get that thing that they were after und s!ip!s kiiK. ai as that ""est Virginia L A D Ta 15
f LILLI PROK PICCi^DILLT 142 Oh, I tr ok a trip to london to look around the town When I got to ?iccadilly,_ the sun was going down I!ve never seen such darkness, the night was black as pitch When suddenly in front of me, I thought I saw a witoh, Choruss Ohy it was lilly, from Piccadilly You kn:>w the one I mean, the one I meon I!ll spend each payday, thatts ny hey hey day With Lilly, my blackout queen«, Oh, I couldntt see her figure, I couldntt see her face But if 1 over meet her, I?ll know her anyplace 1 couldn!t tell if she were blonde or a dark brunette But gosh ch gee, did she give ne, a thrill I won!t forget. She said to ne, Oh Yankee boy are you lonesome are you blue? Just step around the corner, I'll show you. what Irll show you what I111 do "We went up some dark alley, I said, I love you. kid She said, Okay, but first you pay, so I gave her twenty quid* She leaned her back against the wall, I took her -in my arms She gave to me her very all, yes all her buxom charms I lost my head, I lost my heart, I even lost my hat It wps a shame, she should have been, a circus acrobat „ We went to her apartment, and when we were in bed She was so very pleasant, I said someday wc!d wed She even gave me breakfast, she was so very nice Why, what she did for twenty quid was cheap at half the price- It was a few days later, I began to feel so queer, ind when I went on sick call the doc said, '"it's quite clear YouTve had some leve command© style. Como, son, now d.onft be shy, You're not to blame» Tell me her name*" So I answered with a sighs low when my children ask me. "Please tell us. Daddy dear, What did you do to win the war?" Irll answer with a sneer, "Your Daddy was a herof his best he always fought-. With bravery he gave to ilio commandos his support." PziblBS I>T BRi-SSSIPES 143 ThereTs nothing can be better than a girl that wears a sweater Though she may not be as big as she appears They've got an awful lot of falsies in brrsseires Her pullmonary muscles my resemble Janie Russels ind sho1^! say she got that; way from drinking beers TheyTve got an awful lot of falsies in brcsseirss, 16 (Conft)
FUiSI'S I3ST BR^SSEIRES (ConH) So round-----so firm --— and so fully packed You'll find itTs re ally just an act Give a girl a Bally bra and she Trill grow---grow-—-grow. Now I've made a o are full study with the help of my "best buddy Xnd a hundred thousand women volunteers They!ve got an a"£ul lot falsios in brassoireSo So fellows 'fore you wed hcr? Please investigate her sweater Or you'll find t;our honeymoon "ill end in tears Theyrve got an awful lot of falsies in brasseires. FRIGGl'TG QT THE RIGGING 144 G>Tas on ths go^d ship 7onus5 . y God yui shuuld have seen us The figure head Mas a wh^re in osc1, ixd The nast i rampant penis Chorus? Frigging in The riggings Prigging in the rigging Frigging in the rigging? there's fuck all else to do. The captein of this lugger9 he was a dirty bugger He wasn't fit to shovel shit? from one place to another0 The first mate's name ""as Morgan? my God was he a gorgen Ten times a day ho usod to pla~'? upon his sexual organ, The second mates name was ixd~>? he was so young and randy They boiled his bun in stealing ruuis for coming in the brandy- The Midshipmans nzne was Hipper,, he was a dirty ripper He filled his ass with broken glass9 and circumsized the skipper. The captains wife was Mable5 when ever she was able She'd fornicate with The second mato? upon the gaily trble. The coptain had a daughter, "ho fell into the water DelighTed squeals revealed the eels5 had f>und her wexaal quarter. The crew they were hard coses? y~u could see it in their faces They took to frigging in the rigging9 for want of better places. So drunk with exultation, we reached our China station iind sunk a junk in a sea of spunk, caused b;y mutual nasterbati:>n. The- Quartermaster was Pombor He had a crashing member On nights of frosty himself ho tossed Before a glowing ember. The Bosun's name was IIalker? he really was a corker5 Hie filthy sod had been in quod Per dalliance with a porker. 77 Cc^ii't)
FRIGGIITG IIT KIE RIGGING (Con'-fc) Once in a drunken frolick, the "bosun lost a bollock With foul intent, en Mable bent, ho iir.pr.led it on a rowlock. The ship's t^g name was Rover, by gad he was in clover ¥o gound and ground that faithful hound Fror. Tenereofe tc ]>Tcr <, Hie cabin boy "as pretty, it really is a pity The things th^y did to that poor kid Would quite upset this ditty„ The,y sailed to far ALgoric, to n.no wore the3" inferior The pr^^titut's el ng the routes Grew wearier and wearier 0 15^-02' made for the BE.hcr.cs, The haro 3 anl zonsnes They did eschew that poucy crew /aid juch preferred bananas e They sailed to Buenos Aires, And laid Tfith all the fairies They got the Syph at Tenereefe iiiid clap in the Canaries * Then, tired of this pollution, they sought for absolution They upped the priest, the dirty beast And broke their resolution. At first the priest resisted, but then the crew insisted And some burned ruin, beneath his bun And soon his bollocks twisted* Pray benidiction fur us, pour absolution O'er us You shaggy shite, you shall recite The Halleluja Chorus. LYDIA PIEKAK 145 Chorusg Oh, we sing, we sing, we sing, of Lydia Pinkhnm, Pinkham, Pinkham And her love for the hur.au race A wonderful compound, a dollar a bottle And oveTj label bears her face. Uow Mrs, Hrphy, had husband trouble, she did not like to fiddle- de-dee But after taking a bottle of compound, they had to tie her to a tree. ITow Mrs D Murphy, hr d baby touble, she could not have a baby dear But after taking a bottle of compound, they had to nilk her like a cow Uow Mrs* Murphy, had kidney trouble, in the morning, she could not pee But after taking a bottle of compound, t>ey hod to pipe her out to sea. 73
OLD GH3"3l" .7IVER I46 I was floaxmg d >wn tkct ;»lcl Green River On the good ship rock and rye But I floated too fcr Got stuck ona bar. Iras there all alones wishing that I were home The ship vent clora with the captain and cre~'T It loft no only one thing to do I had a drink that old groen river dry To g\_,t beck h ne Tj jm* IH2 -JOCVTECKZEL (Tune- Dixie) 147 0h9 I stuck my finger in a woodpeckc os halo And the tt) t?pecker said gjd bless your soul Take it out9 take it out9 take it out9 tentire it. So I removed my finger from the woodpeckers hole ibid the wodpocker said God Bless my soul Put it hock? put; it back9 put it hack? replace it„ I replaced my finger in the woodpeckers hole Tiio woodpecker said God Bless nj s~ul Turn it arrund,, turn it around9 turn it around9 revolve it* I revived rij finger in the woodpeckers Hole And the woodpecker said God bless my soul In-and-out5 in-and-outs in-and-out, rocriprocate it. I rccriprccated my finger in the wo dpeckcrs hole And the woodpecker said God bless ay soul Pull it out 9 pull it out9 pull it out9 retract it» I retracted my finger fron the woodpeckers hole And the woodpecker said God bless oy soul Trice a smell 9 take a smell 9 take a smells reveling, VIOLATE IIE I48 Violate me in the violet time In the vilest way that you know To the best things in life I an utterly oblivious Give me a life that is lewd snd lascivious Violate me in the violet time In the vilest way that you know Rwoge me 9 savage me Utterly damage me On P3 no ncrcy bestow Violato re in the vi)lot tine r b1 0 vilest -^3- tji--1- y v kr^~B 79
ROLL YO"JR LLG OVER 349 Oh, If ell little girls rere like fish in the ocean Aid I wore r whale I "vald toach the." enotion. Chorus s Oh roll your leg over- Oh roll your leg over Ch roll your leg over the mm in the noon. Oh3 if all little girls were like "bolls in the toiler Xiid-1 ircre a clcpxDer I'd "bang by the hour Ohj if e11 Little girls ^orc like fish in the river And I i'vr3 a sandoer Ikl sure , ake daen quivec Ohs if oil little girls -Tore ll£o sheep in the pasture An J I 'Tore a ran I'd make then ran fester Oh? if all little girls were liirc little white rabbits Aid I 'were a nare I would tefch t.icn had he hits Oh9 if all little girls were liko little red vixens And I were a fox I surely would, fix fen 015 if all little girls ^ere like Hedy Lanarr I*d try twice es herd to get bwico as far Oh, if all little girls were liko cows in the clover imd, I wore a hull I would, chese ther all over Oh, if all little girls were liko little white flowers And I was a bee I would "buzz the.": for hours Oh, if all little girls were liko little white chickens And. I was a rooster ITd give then the dickens 01, if all little girls were liko little ole turtles And I was a turtle I'd. get in their girdles Oh, if all little girls were like Gypsy Rose Lee And I were her G-strin^ oh hoy w]-ir fc I'd see Oh, if all little girls were like nurses who would And I were a doctor I would, if I could Oh, if all little girls were liko "bricks in a pile And I were a nason I'd lay then in style Oh, I wich that all girls were liko fish in a pool And I TJ"ere a chap with a waterproof tool If all little girls were like hats 111 the staple Aid I were a bet, There 'd he nore o^ts th&:i porple Oh., if all li^Tle girls Tare livc c.ion^nc.s end rubbles iaid 1 were a jc^'lcr I'd polish cIot Woies* 30
TH3 PRETTIEST GIRL I EV3R S/JJ l^O The pru'cticst girl I over saw
^Tas sipping bourbon through a straw Tlie pre Titust girl I ever saw "Was sipping b>urbon through a straw And now rnd then the sxrc*- would slip And I'd sip bourbj.i Through nor lips And now IWe got a ^xher m l?w Fro"-1 sipping b urb n through s straw The orrl of ~his st^r^ !s cl^r Don! b sip b^jj?n r3 sip b. r0 TL.3 B~36 151 The 3-36 flies at 40?000 feeb, th B~36 flies at 40?000 feeb The B-36 flics at 40?000 feeT? But ic only carries .no little Teensio wconsie b/rib Tons rnd tons of arr am iti n? bens and bons of snpujiition Tons rid tons of arnrjni feion,
, But It only carlries ~ne little teensie "^onsic bonb, /• OH IT'S B2ER UZ31l? B23R 152 Oh itJs beer? becr5 bejr? That u>akcs y u "cnx to cheer In the Corps, in the Corps Oh it!s beer5 bocrs "boor, > Thct aakes you want to cheer In the U.So Air, U..S. Air Force.
' Choruss My eyes are din? I cannot see Ihcve not brought my specs -rich no. , 1 Whiskey - That makes you feel so friskey Gin - Thct nckes y >u want b_, sin "Vodka - That nekew 30U feel you ughta Sautorn - Ther nskes y ur belly bum "Ver.iou oh - That makes you feci uncouth Bourb n - Tbrt T.ckcs y.u feel like cbirpin' TTiiie - Thai, a cakes y u feel so fine Run - ThcT iTifkes you feel so dunb Rye - That nakes ym fool sj shy Brcndy - That makes 5? ^u feel so dandy Likkcr - Thct rekes JjVl ever sicker Sherry - Thrx mcics ym feel so hciry. Water - Tn.t ^i-k^s y u fool you oughter Chartreuse - That nakes -j ur ~>orals loose 31
jckpo son/.iu 153 O1 rs o^a t "%! <= , I res suit bo tr~m I lorx^u 1 d x K, -id a^J so djo, Fe- ^ eor plane 0 I T-o svi, ^rr ^arc > ud do a £ill *" too B 0 oo."1 x t _ f^i3H }f shit _ "^ j v cPu. ;y^u srd you 1 k"^-> ^ fij -->r ilou i_ sr lie ^jn ins face Jjnd ~i? iv s 1^ ->i c T cc,rd in s~j 1 fj^ixZ It- F F v ^F ^ ?L OF CT ri F 5?1) IS /• 0>1 riNTE SQILDFOE" 154 31 F 5^3 "L F*1 no nquac1 1 nl 1 t=s 1 ^ u ., jr B b f/hJ?^ -> "" s iF sc"1 1K.O c1 ^hib F 1 Ho ~> * "1 n y j_ dt " jj
^ - <■ ^ -r,. u q F ^~ HFFJGF0 155 Ycjl ^jg, u to ue dT acu. iej 1 _>ik + y v o^lit t % ui x o> w "io^r- x~ "> '""'-Iit noase i/ic1 l^ft the1" Tf ^ am 1 ^ -31 r^o IHg saT 11 t is ^rn c choix- f^x jpduj.s °nc "idots I'VG STTDC1 T £IS ± If 8^ COL-1^ Iri/e smc\ j.t a^v. stick b9 so n I s~y fuck it; My as=; l.U's n)i; ^"lo ^"ut of 00c1. FCi?~S I t T>TjFFiF7ES 156 Ejgs j?j_ght, assholes tag1 x? f roski s u^ ti ^ front TIeIr^ tk3 "bojo L^ -1 ke r ^-^ej ^c r_ al^a^s chrsmg cini Fc a_G ^h.^ flio s of tic night? vc,r rather fuck th-ni fig^t TTe ETC T, 13 f)f^AU fu^!Tl"VG3, a nE ON IFF xlICE 157 ilhei che xce is on the r ^t, in Glr Ts-u_ki /or"! bnc "Ovi ■'n bhc Collar =5 u^rts o^ F-czg \IhQr) 3 -u turn t"> Lc^ and say? nFy c'erlirg dozo" Then ^ou'-c tui^i^g 31st a sko<h.i xfipj) icse TEE B.iLS JF OrLEiHI 158 (Tunc-Tne Bells f St Mary) U g lIs qt Ok ~ry
^_?c Dai^tox^ ai tat-c r-c Li1' c b°e o c of 3 b Pa ol Ihc u oie al ^^ c t s^g tl a t 0r^ b olvsx^r C° 1 ^_ _ ■*" C _°"^j !c5 "1 ^ 82
THE 3-STIR]} Kim OF EFC-Ll£D I59 Oh uinstrels sing of a nighty king Who many l'-ng years ago Puled his land rfith an ir~n hand 7 But his nind was Tfoak and low* I His only under clothing was L filming undershirt It --70s long enough tj hide his hide But never to hide The dirt* He loved to hunt the r„,yai s jag 77i thin th.j r~yal "To 3d But the s;r^t ho L ~od the host I all fas xyullin ni° r~>yal pud 8 Wild and we^ly and full of fleas His bcrrihle to si hung do^n to his moos God save the hastard king of England* Ifoir the queen of Spain iras a sprightly dane And an. amorous dame ws she And she loved to f :>ol xrith the r^yri tool ' Frcn far across the sc a So she sent; a special nesscge By a specie! messenger hnd asked the royal bastarc'-Siiip To suend the night a~j ih her0 rlhcn Phillip of Frcnee heard this He summoned his royal court Said she prefers ny rival Just because ny t)^l is short So he sent the Duke of Slip and Slap To give the queen a &.>so of clap ilnd thus avenged the bastard king of" Engl and Vhen news of this f ul deed Bid reach fair EnglandTs halls The king he s¥.re by the shirt he wore Hexs have old Phillip's balls So he offered a night "ith the sect Hort^nse To the ir.cn _'iho!d nud the king of Prance Xnd thus avenge Che bastard king }f England Up spoke the duke of Suffolk He tool: hirsolf "to France Declared himself a flutter The ting t ~> >k d^on his pants. 63 (Conf-c)
rati bas tard icim of ehgl Ted (con»t) /
. ■. ... /. ■ He dropped a thong around his dong Jumped oh his horse and galloped along - And thus avenged the hastard king of England'- Bow Phillip assumed a royal stance And.groveled on the floor For during' the- ride his royal pride ' Had stretched a yard or more• And all the girls in England Game down to London town And shouted around the castle The hell with Snglands crown. ■So Phillip assumed the throne His sceptes was the royal hone With which he downed the hastard king of England. ASS: HOLES ARE CHEAP TODAY 160 Ass holes are cheap today Cheaper than yesterday Little boys cost half a crown Standing up or lying down Larger hoys cost seven and six Cause they take bigger pricks Ass holes are cheap Are cheap today-. * i . . ■ . TERES WHORES FROM CANADA JUICTIOIf lSl Three whores walked down from Canada, Junction -- Full of brandy and wine The topic of conversation was Your cunts no bigger than mine» Chorus s Roly poly tickly ..my holey Slippery slimey slue. Rattle your nuts across my guts ITm one of the whorey crow; The first old whore got up and said My cunt' s as big as the air The birds flying- arid the birds fly out And never touch a hair. The second old whore go up and said My cunt's as big as the" moon A man went in in January , And didn't come out till June's. ' 84 (Con't)
TIRES "E0R3S FR01I C JJiDL JUTCTIOK" (Con* fc) The third ^l'j. wh^re got up and said Kan you!re ell talking "bells Cause rlien I have my periods It's liko ITiagra Falls. SLLOm 162 Down cur street, we had a merry party Everybody there was oh so gay and hearty Talk about a treaty we ate all the no at ilnd we drank all the be or. In the bopzer d:>wn the street. There was old Unole Joe, fair fucked up We locked bin in the cellar with the d!^ bull piip Little Sonney Jim, tried to g^t in in, Tfith his ass hole winking at the m^on. Oh Salono, salome You should see Salome, Standing there , with her ass all bare Waiting- for someone to slide it in there To slide it, and glide it Right up her fucking chute Two brass balls end. a prick of sbeal jfcnd a foreskin, full of shit. She's a big fat cow, twice the size of Lie Hairs en her belly like the broncos :n trees She can unp fight) fuck "Wheel a borrow push a truck Thatfs my girl Solome On Monday night, she takes it up the back On Tuesday night, she takes in all the slack On Wednesday night, she has a spell On Thursday night, she fucks liko hell On Friday night, sho takes it up her nose In between her fingers and down between her toes On Saturday night, she dishes out gams imd she goes to church en Sunday She just wants De for a sunbeam iind a fucking fine sunbeam I'll be. GCII\TG H0IZ3 163 (Tune-Out on the Texas Plains) I'm goona head my ship into the wide blue sea With my nz&e into the west I'm gonna find a gal that w. s neJe f>r no I'm goona give her all my best. 85 (Con't)
GOING HOME (Con't) (Tune-Out on the Texas PIr.ins) ITm gonna no ad ny ship toward that -"Id west coast Round Long Beech and L.A. Znd when wo all got hone we will drirg c toast To those long forgotten dsys jtn ^,nna fiy -ii gLEij9 Itm gjnna fiy aii night Toward that sotting sun Jkid when thet good old o )ast lino loons into sight Yiy work hes just ho gun I'm gonna find a grl thct just donJt give c lorn IrD gonna 1 itg her night end day dzid if sho srys n^ no I fm gonna bwist hor arn Oouse I !h gonna ge fc ny ;fc?y, I!r, gonna drink myself into a total wreck Ifr gonna love until I die I got a pilots mind ans a flyer ?s rop I couldn't be good if I tried, So w.n't you just relax For there is jne nore verso of the -things I'n gonna do I knew that tines are bade, hut chey could be worse So here's my parting w„,rd to you. IJ11 ne'er forget this war until the &cj I die Cause it's changed ny life's flight plan iVnd when ny drys are o'er and ny tine clrcws high I'n gonna die drunk if I canc RIO RIO RIO 164 Chorus? Rio5 Rios Rio? Rio, Jesus Christ how I feel Frjsh fr )m a shore rouse, prick full of steel That's ny orgrn grinder, Laid hor in her fathers hall Spread her ass fr:n hall to hall Shoved it up into her gall With ny old organ grinder, Fucked her in her fathers bed Shoved it up into hor head Fucked xhat girl till sho was deed With nu old orgrn grinder Followed her Xj the gurial ground Just to go~an^thor round Fucked hor as they lowered hor Ci-m 06 iC-vJt)
RIO RIO .RIO (Con't) .■■..•!-■■■ Some folks say I am a knave: r Say that I do not Behave
- Cause I jacked off on er grave
• With my old organ grinder. •• OH MY GOD I65 Oh My God? we've all done wrong Wo xve all "boon drunk for so GOD DIMM long - And wo don ! t give a Jesus :,if it rains, hails or freezes Let tho old mon. say what he GOD 'DIME ploasos We're just a hunch of shitsters? a of "booze histers FIGHTER PILOTS ALL ,/IW FLIGHT RBFLFLIWG .. , 166 (Tune-Strawberry Roan) Oh come fighter pilots5 "both.young and old- ..:.-,.- And I'll tell you a story, that '11 make' you turn cold. .;":;..- A story of tankers ? and a. flight out to sea. .... , ' . .. . And I hate to tell-you what, they did to me „. •• • ..-..■.'• Oh we took off from George9 oh so early one morn The weather wc s balmy," hut hot oreally warm- .■ We soon left the coast lino 9. and>headod to sea: And for the last tine land I did seee Oh wo flew on for hours9 it seemed like more . :-., We flow and we flow, till ray "butt it got sore .' /'J. And we finally got to that point far from land . • Whore there wore supposed to he tankers at hand But yesj you have gussed it, no one was there Uo thing around ? but ocean and air . . .
... We called and we called;, but it was in. vain . ■ ,
: . ' There was n/oody out there to refuel my plane Oh we circled and circled? and hollered for gas ... Tho pain was begining, to leave my: ass . . ' T 1 Twas begining to puckers and turn a dull hue.- ,: . . . When finally a tanker came into veiw, Weil bygones were bygones/'and we didnTt bitch We just latched onto, that son of a bitch What ho, called the scanner, nitTs uner your wing If you don't ho.)k up, uou likely will dingp' Well I stabbed and I'stabbed and I stabbed some jnore A But I couldnft hit? that dirty old whore ' ' . . I looked at my gas gauge9 and it was down low I backed aff again5 and tried it real slow* 8fA ^ (Con't)
IH FLIGHT REFUELING (Con't) So I tried it real slow "boys, but that didn't .work So I tried it fast again, what a holl of a jerk The funnel it hit me, one hell of a "blow • iis I looked at the cold water down there "bed:)i, I looked at the water, so oold and so chilled iaid .1 thought to myself, IT11 soon he killed So Ird. better hook up, and take on some fuek Cause that water below looks uncomfortably cool So I finally did it, I hit that damn hose' 1 hit that old funnel,"right ■ square on rhw noaw- The engineer said, t!3ir you1 re taking on fuel In But the bastard was lying, the dirty old fool. I called that damn scanner, said, "Turn on the gas I. can't wait much longer, or I'll bust my ass0n He looked up from his paper, and said with-, a grin . nYou know there are days sir,; when you just can't win. That's the end of my story, I'm sorry to say That old F-100, lies out in the bay ".-..'■■•• But Ifll have my vengence, you can bet your life. Cause ther's one tanker .pilot, that IJm going to knife.' I LOVE OLD WUKF'.OPS 1M) FLYIMT SAFETY I67. ( Time-De ar ; He arts and Gentle 'People) I love old Wing Ops, and Flying Safety They1re nothing but hot axr . But if you bust one, and hit the barrier You know damn well that theyill be there I read my dash one, from dawn till sunset But it don't go so well -; For when the bo&rd meets, and I go up there I know ther're going to give me hell«
' I feel so helpless, each tike I try to fly For I know they'll watch each move I make
, ilnd so it's Wing Ops and Flying Safety . . Watching every rule I break. SHO MS THE WiY TO GO HOME . .168 Show me the way to .go home • ITm tired and I want to go_ to bed I had a little drink about an hour ago iind it went right to my. head Whenever I may roam
; 88 (Con't)
°~o ,;•■ ~"TL ThdY TO GO HCFE (Con't) On. ltiic t Sr -> r . o^n You Txl_ elf ;>s ^crc to sinking b^is e mg S-io"T tg tvc fey u-> co or3 . Trdxce.be t ~~ey t' rxj~ cL^de I n "ct-gircL. "^l I rent to retire I lice1 i ^pc , of ^c^rege smty nnrtcs ego .drd it _7c it rxg_it t^ nj cjrcoellcm "however I r-e-y 0 ^ambuiate Or ] oil ^ Scs" r cgi spnoric vapor l^a e^-n cl" ys no r ~e cr. mn" cb 1 g -ijIt1- o'-^-j — -*---> •*<->- ~ -j "~^_r *~ b 1'"' 333X1)7 169 3UD3i, Z5TJD3T, he/e a good tire Scc_y m bod ii.ll he If past nine Drink y or drx xk end Tdub your dub 86fi .fighter 0 tmtry club „ TI02T3Y 170 01i9 Hocy*, H noy, 31ess sour heart Ccuse y u " o -he 1 ney thet I love s > well lry hear j bee'uS tns5 stec the rro r-r jOU Cause ) ,rr ore honey thru I 1 ove so iTell. C0C_IO STJE 171 Oh Lorphxro Sil1 Old. Cocaine Sue Trockin1 J^u: doe evv.rue Choruss Oh h uiey neve a sniff? have a sniff ^n nc Oh n^ney have a sniff c 1 nc ■> FoTf right on dxoachreyc, left ni -rn To get a shot <-f Did cocaine Uov m that drugstore hong a sign Tie ain't got m ir re r rphoie In c greveqerd ^r a hill Lies ubc re c ins of Forphnne 3d 11. did 111 the u grrveycrc1 o~ his side hie the remains „f his c^crre bnce To-t ~he -1 rel ~f this story jus c g^es t soo" Tl ~re ein' , n ^aii 11 sniffm' srevo &9
LSES HOOCHIE
172 (Tune-On Top of Old Snokoy) I went to Seoul City, and net a Miss Leo She said for a short ti:.e? oh cone sleep with no We went to Lecrs hoochie? a roon with hot floors I left :iy shoes outside, and slid shut the door. She took off her long johns? and rolled out tho pad I gave her ten thousand,, 'twas all that I hod Eer breath sncllus of kinchie, her bys:ns ^ore flrt Ho hair on her pussy9 rn¥ vh^t chopt thrt, I asked to go henjo, she let re outside I reached f ^r old snekey, he crawled "brck inside I r ashed to the medics, cried, "That shall I do l*f The doo was dumfoundeds old snokoy was "blue« Sow when you're in Seoul City, on your next three day'pass Donft go to Lee's Hoochie, sit flat on your ass l?ow your ass ny get blistered, and Lee nay tenpt y >u But better the rod ass, then old snokey blue n THE COED i'JH) TEB CidOET 173 The Coed and the Cadet were c urting I declare Down by the gate they didn't know that I was there Oh the Coed she was hashful and the Cadet he was shy Heasked her if he could and this was her reply You can do it if you wanna But yourd better do it right You'd hotter not do it Like you did the otk^r night Cause if you do, I'm telling y^u I'll never let y^u do it again I rally mean it I'll never let y ,vl do it again. k lllM WITHOUT L ^OJLJtf 174 A nan without a woman Is like a ship without a sail Is like a hoat without a rudder Like a kite without a tail. L nan without a woman Is like 0 wreck upon the sand But if there's one thing w ^rse in the universe oq (ConJt)
/ V'iH 7IIE0UG? /_ '101113 (Con»t) XVs a Ton'm, I sell a w^nan T no en a r ^m ,Tioh._ui a irn. For yi a can re 11 a silver dollc?r Cross the bcr re cm floor incl it will roll, because i"s Is round And a woman never kn ws what ? go^ci ncn she's got Untill she turns bin down. So kney listen,, no"J hMiey listen to xie I want y~u to understand Tha'j rs a silver dollcr g3es ir ii hrnr1 t) hand jL "un~n g cs fr ;n ran to nrii0 red scarps 175 (Tute-Strawherry Blonde ) Pbw the 12th fighter squadron they don1^ show me much Tlhilo the Red Sorrfs fl;y Their technique is "bad end their bombing is sad T'TIiile the Red Scarfs fly- Their guns are corroded? their pilots arc 1 >aded 'Their cockpits are covered with clus b They fly for awhile 5 "but they am1 n got no style "^hile the Red Scarfs fly BO YOU OF WI SISTER TILLY 176 Do y_,u ken uy sister T'illy Shcfs wh^re m piccadiliy And ny nether is the sene upon the strand And ny father sells his ass hole ii.t the Elephant and Castle ¥e:re the finest whoring frmly in the l?nd„ I'hen you wake up in the n jrnmg With your hends upon y >ux knees And the shadow ^f y /jr penis wn the well And the hrir a-growing Thick Between your ass h)le and y;ur prick And the ra"cs ere plrying smoker wi b^ y^ur bells. TEE CEEETAS 177 Oh it Is ecsy to see itrs n^t xhe roosters For the r sxrrs ~nly cr^w And it is ecsy to see it's .1-"u the cobras P-r the oo"hr?s ne~r(3T put r svoh 0 -p ne'e-rful show 91 (Con't)
THE OHEETAS (Cm't) Oh it is easy tc sco it's njt the f-xes For the f^xos cro to, few Oil it!s easy tc soe? who else could it be But the C!ice"cas? every tine. liUSTiJfG'S RUIT BY IIESLIlf 178 Mustang's run by llerliru and Mori in *s run by ne I on run by (Sq CO) 9 and he con clir:b a tree Oh we'll all hang )ld (Sc C0)g to the t p of the "e >le IjicI we111 all be h >ne by Christ,:ra- in a pigs ass hole iSqj30)_ is run by (ffg CO,)end j^CO run by iJ) CO rjLQQ. I"u::1 ^y -^ CQ kn~ws where he can go Oil we'll hang old hF CO on the top -f The pjlo hiid we'll ail bo none by Christnos In apig ass hole. THE CiiTDLE SOFG 179 All the nice girls love a candle Cause a candle hes a wick /did there's something about a candle 'That reninds then of a prick Hice and greasy,, slips in easy It's the maidens pride and joj You can hear then sing and hout lis they pop it in and out Ship /lioyl Ship Zihoyl iiRIGATO FOR THE IffiMORIES 180 (Tune-Thanks 1 ,r the Memories) irrigate f ^r the memories Of train wrecks en the line Of Ginza marts and h ney carts Jirigato? so much* Zurigato for the memories Of steaks we couldn't eat Old loft jver neat Of powdered milk and girls in silk Kiraonas on the street hxigatoy s_ nuc-i. Few ere the tines we've feasted /uid nany's the xii e we !ve fasted R and it's \7hTs swell while they lasted \1q did "neve fun, cnL n harn l^zic * 92 (C^n't)
ARIGATO FOR TEE MEMORIES (Con't) So Arigato for the memories"' Of special allied oars All the different bars _ ■■ ' ' ~. ' ' Of whiskey cSkoi-and dirty jokes'; ' '. ' Arigato? so much,, " ' : ■'" '
' iirigato for the me-n'orred- ' ■.-..■.•■■■:. Of dead fish on the shore Rats behind the dooer -; -■:"'■■='■ . ? • ■ '•'■■ The Xamakura ;luka^ and brocades that;we all wore iirigato so much* Arigato for the memories Of snacks at the PX All those talks on sex :^:J ; The broken'bones we suffor:ed? in Takusan jsepo wrecks' iirigato so much., .■ ■,-■•:'■ -,;v. .= .'■ .'-' ' '-: ' ■ ■ :■■"'■■■■ ' ■:■-:- ■ o . ' ■ ■' 'ii ¥e say heilo',;with 'm-artini rs ; ■' ' '" '
•■•■...:.■! We1!! say sayonara with saki '
■■'' ■'• The Japs won't forget all that khaki -'' ■ • Honshu!s not the'same 5biit; wg !ro glad we came'
" iirigato so much* Ariigkto for the memories
• Of lanterns after dark Rickshaws in the park ' ''"'■' The funny names5 the' baseball games ■'■' So iirigato, so much. ■;. - . - - ■■■. . ■..-..!. -; ■■•- .-!-■ I .'■'■'■■ ■ ■■ ' ■ - '■■ '■.■■' .• • ■■'••■r ': ; ALRALSS' ' . ■ '■" ? - ::H '•,:•:...■■'.-
!8i ■ ..■." ■ • .■ As the blackbirds in the spring ' •
r Neath the willow tree Sat and piped the song they sang. •-"•'•"" ■' Singing Auralee^" ■■ \ : ' :' o'- Auralee—Auralee—Maid with the''golden hair
■ ' • .".. Sunshine came along with- thee ' And shadows in your hair» TELL ME ¥HT 182 Tell me why? the- ivy twines " ; Tell me why, the stars do shine Tell., me why,, the ocean's blue I'll' tell you why, it's becaus'e I" love you=- Because God made? the ivy twine Because God mado? the stars to shine Because God inadey the oceans blue Because God made yous is why I love yrcu 93
31TTL3 HIKE" 183 (Tunc-Sottie Hyrn of the Republic) To fly ourfucking Sabres ar 10?000 fucking feet He fly our fucking Sabres through the rein and snjw and sleet .And though we think we're flying south Fefrc flying fucking n rth ihid we make our fucking landfall on the firth of fucking forth*, Ch-russ Gl>ry? glory halleluia? Glory s Gl^ry Halleluia Gl)Xj? Glory Hrlieiui^j (insert lest line each verse). "c fly th se fucking Sabres ab fjck all ls000 feet 7e fly th.se fucking Sabres fchrcugb. the tr-^3 -rid o )Pn a-^ wheat iond -chough we think wc fly with qkill We fly TTith fucking luck But we donrt giro a fucking cami ^r orre a fucking fuck« Tfe fly th>se fucking sabres at 10?000 fucking feet He fly tIdsc fucking Scbres through the rain and snow and sleet Xnd though t;9 think we're flying up TFe're flying fucking djwn Znd we busb our fucking asses when we hit the fucking ground„ SPZMSH GUITiJR I84 Oh the fir3-3 p <rx of call it iTas trlcn9 Aden Hhere the girls weuldn'T screw? but we node !em Made 'en Choruss Three dollars y.u pay? £.x a bang up erch way And 6, tunc on a Spanish Guitar plink? piink? pi ink Singing Hi-ziggy-ziggy? fuck a little piggy sideways Swish-swich My idea ^f a w rzn is a big frt whjre Shit~bang? Fuck-STick Three dollars y u pay, f:r a bang up erch way Xnd a tune m a Spanish Guitar piink, piink, plink Oh the next port j>f orll it was 3^eb^n? BosTon Fhere the girls woulclnTt scrBr, but we f reed 'en, forced rem. Oh the noXX pjrt „f call it was Heine9 Kalta "Fhcre the girls -^iildn't but eugVcfa? oughxa Oh the next pjrt of call it wes Su">on? Suw n whore the girls they wjuld c1 :> it for twj w n? tnr^ won a z-:d Tiih gr, ss 185 In The toll tall gross y\uno Mai3- lay a-slcepii-g "lien >ut f t^o Tali gj. se 04 (C nrfc)
IF 7HS Till GRASS (Con't) A pilot ociie a-creeping With, his long dingle dangle Singling Right cloim -go his kneo - Three nontlas irve gjne by Young Mary she greir colder She Fished that the pil-t Would cc-no and d., it jvor With his long dcngle dingle dingling Six m nths have go no "by And MarT sh,3 -^vc_»;r fitter Tht, naigbb as fiJ r nhor Just; *'Tli" had been. at; he1'* With his long dangle dandle din^lirg Right dc "i tj his knee * Fine rriiths have g no by And Mary bus c r stands r And out jurrped a pilot With his 67th nufiber With his skoshe dangle dingle Wangling Right d^im. to his knee « IH3 IvLJD OF TS3 1I0U1TTAIW 186 The naid of tho rountain She pissos like a little fountain Cause tho hairs on her dickie-di-doo Hang do mi to her knees One blaok ono? one "vrhits one And one vith a little shite ^n Cause tho hairs on her dickie-cli~doo hang dctm to her knees There's red one? there's a cherry -^ne There's one "with a dingle-berry on Cause tho hairs -n her dickic-di-doo Hang dov:i to her knees* I've been there, I've seen it I've boon right between it Cause tho hairs jn her dickie-di—doo Hang dem to her knees, I've snolt itJj I've felt it And it feels just like velvet Cause tho hairs ,n her didkie-di-doo Hang dotm to her knees. 95 (Ccn't)
THE ILJD OF THE KOUNTiJ.^ (Con't) I've tangled? I 'tg dangled I 'vo fucking near g^t strangled Cause the hrirs on Tier dickie-di-d~>o Hang down i:> her knees0 BYE BYE BLACKBIRD I87 (Tune-Bye Bye Blackbird) There was a nsn? he was n: good He tosk a girlie in The w ;cS He flies :.rustrngs Then he te^k off all her cl_~ch.es And her slices5 and her h~>se He flies llus tangs He took her where nobody ulse cculd find her Took a string and tied her hends "behind her Walked away and began to sing Began to sing? ting-a-ling Mustangs5 I flyB SEPBSQA (Don't: ask r.e what that; "i-oriis— I don't kn^w either) 188 Ohy I loved her and I kissed her in the monlight And the .lojn sh me "bright ail day 0h9 I loved her and I kissed her in The nconlight And the noon shone bright all day Gol darn that iTioon. - MOTHER HUTJ1PERS BALL I89 (Tune-DarkTown Strutters Ball) Oh there's gonna "be a hall at the Mother Humpers Hall The ""itches and the "bitchesgonna he thox-e all I\Fow honey don't he late^ civsq they're passing out pussy? bout half past eight How I've humped in France and I've hunped in Spain I've heon humpin' ->n the coast of Kaineh „j But the host piece I ever saw Was when I humped ny nether in law Last Saturday night at the Ikther Huripors Ball TWO LADIES 7EKD COFFINING 190 (Tune-River Shrnnon Flows) Two ladies wore ©offifiding On e streetcar where ih€>y~ were riding Oh t_icy fust have been school teacher9 T-ioir 0 nversaTi^i ran irh-T "~\-y (Can't;) 36
T:vO L.JDI3S 'fZJRS C01FIDIHG (Con't) (Tune-River Shannon Flows) On said, "How many children do you have" Slio replied, "I've thirty thank yjii" And when the sane was asked the other She said "I've got thirty two" l£i old, Irish Lady, seated across the aisle SaidTI neard y.>ur conversation ind I greet y:u with a smile You mist have been grand ladies To have had so many babies But your husbands must have one fron "Where our River Shannon flows e MIMIS TE3 HEHMAID 191 Ifeny^s the night I spent with Hinnio the Mermaid Down at the bottom of the sea Minnie lost her norals, down there among the corals Geo, but she was nighty nice to me Bow niany's the night with the pale noon shining Down on her seaweed bungalow Ashes to ashes, dust, to dust Two twin beds and only n of then mussed. ¥ow you can easily see, she!s not oy mother Because my mother's forty nine And you cm easily see, she's not my sister Because I wouldn't show my sister Suck a hell-uv-a good tine And you can easily see, she's not riy serrtheart Because my serrtheart!s too refined She's just a peach jf a kid She never knew what she did She's just a personal friend of nine0 GLORIOUS 192 Fow the first thing they prayde for They prayed for their king Glorious, glorious, glorious king If he have one son. May he also have ten May he have a fuckon army, cried the airmen, Amen. Chorus? Kow the Squadron Leader and the Wing Commander And the Group Captain too Hands in their packets eith fuck all to do Robbing the pay of the poor Axwy-Due May the lord shit you sideways Cried the airmen fuck you. 97 • (Con't)
GLORIOUS (Con't) Fow the next thing they prayed for The prayed for their Queen Glorious, glorious? glorious "Queen If slie have one daughter, nay she also have ten Fow the next thing they prayed for They prayed for their "beer Glorious 9 glorious 5 glorious ? beer If we have jne beer? may we also have ten May we have a fucking brewerey9 cried the airmenc Amen drum: 193 Drunk lesr night? drunk the night Before Gcnna get §.runk t >night? as I've ixovot "been drunk before Cause when I'm drunk9 I'm as happy as can be Cause I am a member of the souse fanily. Fow the souse family Is the best family That ever came over from old Germany There!s the Highland Dutch? and the Lowland Dutch. The Rotterdam Dutch and the Goddamn Dutch. Singing Glorious9 Gl>rious One keg of beer for the fcur of us Glory be to God that there are ud more of us For one of us could drink it all alone? Damn Fear Here's to the Irish9 dead drunk --—-.—— The lucky stiffs, KARRI Gil? 194 E—-A, Double R—-15 G—-A—F spells Harrigan Sure I'm proud of all the Irich that's in me And a devil a man can say a work agin1me H—A, Double R—I, G—A—H? yju see That's a name to which no shame has ever Been connected with Harrigan? that's me <> KEYHOLE IF THE DOOR 195 I left the canteen early, it wes shortly after nine And by a strjke of fortune, her room was next to mine Like any brave "Columbo" with regions to explore I took up my position by the keyhole in the door, Chorus § 0h5 the keyhole in the doer? oh? the keyhole in the door I took up my position by the keyhole in the door. 98 (Ceii't)
'xSJZOLU IS THE DOOR (Con't) SIig crossed o.,-»~ co bhe iirepxaoo her lively figure to warm Fith cniy a silken nighty to Lido her gorgeous from I preyed inrt she wouic1 Tories it off ? just that and nothing more By, God? I caw hc-r do it chr-ugh the keyhole in the door, Now after reny §, poi ending upon that paneled dooar ind after ne^ry a- pleading? I crossed that threshold floor iind so no pie would ever see what I had seen before? I -erjg her si]ken nightie ofer tne keyhole in the door» Taat nigh~ I slept in clover and other things "besides r±J n Vr>- : s/ ^w -fTliite boson I ha:L a Jo 3-0 us ride 7 a"u^ nozu iTijriing 3trly? iv h-ck ic was so sore Tor • d +na:i'<- I -pel been cradling bbrough the keyhole in the do°r, K^w li, t-n all y u astronomers "ho think you are so "rise ">li) gV7-- tA> th 3" jut j cng telescopes into tiie starry skies One Tiling I have oo tell you? one thing and nothing nore Tour J^icseopos are 1,Tbgger Zll" to the keyhole in the door. KHIFFUNPOOF SOFG 196 To the croles down at Maury's3 To the plcOu TThcre Louie dwells? To the dear old Temple Bar ve loved so "well Sing the "Chiffenoooxs assembled Tvith their girsscs raised on high*, laid the nagle of their singing casts a spell9 Yes- the magic of bheir singingOf Of the songs "3 l.ve so well, ''Shall I wa^t:ng" one. Kavouinee" and the rest0 TJe will sereraoe our Louie While life and yjjee shall last Then we'll prss and pe forgotten like the rest, ">Te are poor litcle lambs wh' hrvo lost our wey9 Baa? baa? baa "fe are poor li-.ie blaock sheep who have gone astray Baa? baa? baa,, Gentlemen songsters off on a spree, Damned from here to eternity. God hpve mercy on such as we9 ' Baas baa; baa« FUXECULE FLTICOLA 197 Last night I stayed up late t, mas turbo be . It felt so good—I knew It would Last night I stayed up late to be" c nv neat It felt so nice--I did it twice« 00 (C;nTt)
FOEICULS FTOTCULA (C-n't) lou should really see ne on the short; strokes| It feels so grand? I use my hand* Tou must really catch no on the long strokes § It feels so neat? I use my feet, Shake it? break it? "beat it on the floorf Smash it? hash it? thrust it through the doorj Some people seem to think that fucking!s grand? But for all around enjoyment I prefer to use my hand, SIXIEFJT TIWDS 198 ( Tuno-S i:rue en tons) Some people say a man is made out of fear? But a fighter pilotfs made out of whiskey end beer— Whiskey and beer? rum and rye? If you fly the dot your sure to spin in. Chorus% Tou fly sixteen times? That dT you get Another day older and your weapon is "bent* Col Do liaison don't you call me ? I'm weak and lame I lost my ass in a ^okcr game, I woke one morning when the sun didn't shine Got my 'chute and went down to the line Down to the line to fly the "D" But it was raining so hard I couldn't see. I scrambled one morniMg with blood in my eye^ I'd had my fill of overholt rye — Shot sixteen holes in a T~33 They're going to hang my ass from a coconut tree„ When you see me comin' better break to the right "Cause the 6,6th. Fighter had a party last ringt— My eyeballs are red an' I'm moan as a bear,, Believe me musketeer? better clear the air„ I USED TO TTORK Ilf CHICAGO 199 I used to work in Chicago? in a department store I used to work in Chicago? I did but I don't enj more A lady came? she asked for a hat I asked her what kind she adored Felt she said? and felt her I did I did but I don't any more cake - layer Glue - Paste Food - Pet Lamp ~ Floor Cream - Fbssage Hasor - Injector- Birds - Lo-re GirJle - PuY-^r Scarf - ITeck 10J
IT'S TRAGIC 200 You smile your Tee th'f all out, your hair snells liko sauerkraut It's 'Tragic The bugs desert the air, and rush to nestle in your1 hair It1s tragic It takes ono look tc know you heve no charms You1re just a "bag of bones T'Tith long surrounding eras Your eyes are "big and round Therers one that's blue and one that's brown It's Tragic You part your hair in place And it keeps sliding do-r. your face It!s Irrgic And ^3 telliiyself \ Those tilings that happen are not really brue Yot XT ry heart I know the tragedy is really you* IlhTO EEE jlJR 691RS 201 Into the air 69ors, Into the air upside sortie Into the air 69ors, Set your sights and let's go down, we'll all go down. Md when we see those bastard. Commies, And we nalfe then shit a pound. Your can bet those 69ers Are all going sown Into the air 690rs Onto your back, soixenxe-neufn Tfe'll blast those TlIG's 69ers» And watch their ass go Poof , Poof, Poof« And when ycu see those, "Golf-balls" flying» And the flak begins to blast„ You can bet the 69ers Will bite 'en in the ass, HORSB SHIT 202 There was e pilot of great renown, There was a pilot of great renown, There was a pilot of great renown, Until ho fucked a girl from our town- Fucked a girl from our town— Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit. He laid her in a feather bed, He laid her in a feather bed, he laid her in a feather bed, And-then-he Twisted out her maidenhead Twisted out her naidenhead— Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit, (Con't) J-V/J-
HORSE SKIT (Conn) He laid her or a Trincing stair, He laid her oh p -finding steir, Hg Isid her on a winding stair, And-thon-ho shoved it in clc-ar up to there- Shoved it in clear ap to there— Ha, ha ha5 ho he ho, horse shit, He laid her down beside a stump, He laid her down he side a stump, lie laid her down he side a stump, And-then-he hissed her cunt and split th^ s iunp—- Misled her cunt and split the stump-- Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, hors^ shit- He laid her down he side a pond, Ho laid her dot\n "beside 3 pond, He laid her down heside a pond, And-the-he fucked her -with his magic wand, Fucked her with his magic wand— Ea ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit* He laid her on the dewey grass, He laid her on the dewey grass, He laid her on the dewey grass, And—theii=ho shoved the old "boy up her ass Shoved the old hoy up her ass E^a ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit. He took her to the countryside, He took her to the countryside, He took her to the countryside And-then-he fucked the girl until she died, Fucked tne girl until she lied, Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit, He took her to the burial ground, He took her to the burial ground, He took her to the burial ground, And-then-he thought he'd have another round Thought heJd hrve another round Ha ha ha ha, ho ho ho---------HORSE SHIT, HORSE SHIT. Rim THE BELL, 7ERC-ER 203 Ring the hell, Verger, ring the bell ring- Perhaps the congregation will condescend to 3ing Perhrps the fucking organist sitting on his stool Will play the fucking orgrn end n;t -'i-ch his tool „ (ConTt)
Rim THE BZLL, YERG3R (Con!t) dp ha chc jolday doII ringer stands, G"?crt ficking ^r._ck In lucking great hands. "Tion fror. 'he pulpi s preacher yells, is3to_3 eul1 r>g pud and start pulling bells'". Out ii> the garage chauffeur lies iTictr^F - ifc. o jt»ioonf]iis thighs Tierces ooi cc copies iron afar "Stop fucking ^i^o and sxnrt fucking cnS" Out in "die p-uitr- butler si~cs
^OkIz an has Ird ~aoc a-'plcjin1 with h^r bits "kji. f„ 1 , ire /ia~cl:'rx jii stress squeals* 1 &I00 t -3K: -17 cod; ar'L en ok fudki.i ., a^alsT' LTTTLT kC LIGHT 204 1 'Iune-"j}r7 "blue Heaven'1) /" tuan Lo tke ,.1^0, a liuulo re 1 light, "will lead you to my re haven ''ou'il see a smiling face on a pill^rc-so? a form devme. TuM.t a 1"ttl^ old mare who's baen scroted before? L thousand tires. Justt Holly and res th rhll never ho three* "To 'ko oaref 1 in out rs hav^n* DO TODP BZLLS Hidkd LOW 205 (Tune dfarch of bhc Toy Soldiers) Do your halls h.ng lu¥? do thoy swing tj> and fro Can you tii them in a kn~>"w can you tie Tem in a how Can you tuDw them oJer your shoulder like c' European Soldier Do your halls hang lowe In days of old when knights uere "bold, ■d-oy shit right; in their britches, The wiped their ass with broken glass Those thoughtless sons of bitches e In days of old "when knights were bold3 .And woman w_ re mere trifles They hung their balls -upon the walls laic, shot them ^own wi en rifles. _n C-C)? of old Then knights were hoick. 1<xiC^ "c^n "'cxcn'x particular., Tiie/ "i rked ~hcm up aginst the wall ind fucked, then perpendicular* In cays of old when knights were bold? They "c^e a"1! leather britches? 'ike tea-, thair pricks with hickory scicks ' aa "SS d l""ke s^is °f "niic _es c 10d
VIRGIN STURGEON 206 (Tune- Ruben, Re "ben, I've been Thinking) Caviar comes from a virgin sturgeon Virgin Sxurgvon is a very fine fish Virgin Sturgeon needs no urgin' That!s Thy caviar is my dish* Shad Roe ccr.es from a scarlet shad fish Shad fish have a very sad. fate Pregant shad fish is a sad fish G*t that way without a mate * Osyters they are fisny "bivalves 'They ave youngsters in their shell How they diddle is a riddle But they do so what the nell* The green sea turtle fs mate is liappy Arith her lovers winning /ray First he grips her with his flipper Then he flips the grips for days Mrs clam is optimistic Shoots her eggs out in the sea Hopes her suitor is a shooter Hits the selfsame spot as she <, Give a thought to th© 'ticQ'oj codfish Always there when duty calls Female cod fish is an odd fish From her come your cod fish halls„ The trout is just a little salmon Just half grown and minus scales But the trouts just like the salmon Oan!t get on without his tail0 Luckiest fish are the com an stardish When for offspring they essay Yes my hearties they have parties In the good old fashioned way* I fed caviar to my girl friend She was a virgin tried and true ITow that virgin needs no urgin There ain't nothin' she wonTt do. I fed caviar to my grandpa He was a man of ninety three Screams and s hrieks were heard from grandma He had chased her up a tree. I fed caviar to my grandma She came down out of that tree lTo~~ my grandma and m~\~ grandpa S"usr~3 to raise a iamity locn't; 104
VIRGIN STURGSOW (Con't) I fed some caviar to hit rooster I fed some caviar to my cow ITow the barnyard sure looks funny ill the xows iiave feathers now, JOIX THE AIR FORCE 207 Chorusi Oh, why did I join the air Force Mother dear. Dear mother knew best Here I lie beneath a wreckage A sabre jet over mj chest3 l\Tow when you are out on a mission A IHG I9 makes a fine pass Reach over squeeze both of mose nanales Hie hell with the ship ?<ave your ass* PILOTfB EZLJm 208 (Tune- Ghost Riders in the Sky) As we were flying through the sky One bright and sunny day, We spied a big black thunderstorm Alying in our way- Fly right on through, the colonel said, "We do most anything, And now we're up in heaven - And hear the angels sing* Oh itfs so very nice up aere Away up in the sky, There no one here with hen-house ways There Is no Til' The food is good, the C0TS swell We have no need to fear, There's no such thing as 0CS-—- We all wear wings up here« As we looked down on earth one day We saw a gruesome sight, It made our blood run very cold It turned our livers white, The whole command from Omaha Was headed up this wayc We called our lord before us And all knelt down to pray* The General told our boss, the Lord, Ifow this is not a prank, He shouted in a might voice Just what's your date of rank I
, The lord sat there—his head was bowed, The General shouted clear There's just not room in heaven For two COfs up nereI (Conrt) 105
PILOT'S EBiYElf (Coii't) 'The lord he oalledus *fore the "throne And these last words he said, Your tour up here is done, my hoys Tour might as well he dead, Tie * 11 send you out on PCS Bui names we cannot tell? One half to go Three nine o six, The other half to E-"E-L-L. BMG IT 1170 LULU 209 Chorus 2 Sang i fc into Lulu Bang it good end strong "That'll we do for hanging "Then Lulu!s dead and gone« Uish I ¥as a pisspo b Under LUIu!s hed Every time she stooped bo pee ITd see her maidenhead., IIish I was a finger On Lulufs little hand Every Time she wiped her ass ITd see the promised land, Lulu had a bah" She had it on a rock She couidn'T call it Lulu 1 Cause the "bastard had a cock, Lulu had a bahy She named it Sonny Jin She threw It in the pisspot To teach it how to swin LasT time I saw Lulu I haven't seen her since She was suckin' off a tiger Through a barbed wire fence » IF THT SPTilFGTIIIS 210 In the springtime, in the springxime In the springtime of yore I met a young lady who looked like a --- Darling young maiden, as she lay in the grass And gently rolled over to show me her— Liamons and Bracelets and lettle pet duck .And told be she'd teach me a new way to —— Bring up my children and teach them to knit While farmers in barnyards were shoveling out -~ Feed for their horses and cattle and siieep In the springtime, in che springtime In the springTime so sweet. 106
THE COMMIES LAM3FT 211 (Tune- Clementine) Onee a flier, do or ctier, in his faithful Sabre true After bitchin, flew a mission, to the town of Sinianju Still in flight he, say seme mighty Russian MIG's upon his tail Ifith a quiver5 and a shiver, he let out an awful wail. Chorus s Sayonsra, Sa.yonara, Sayonara, Ah So Des If you find r.ie, .lever mind, me, I will he an awful mess <, Then a Iv us tang, went in "busting, Just to see what; he could do But alas, he made a pass and that was all, they got him too Thought an 80 I'm so greet ne'll never get a shot at me Tfasr f t gore long when his swan song Sounded just like chis cc me e Then a Thund.er Jet who hadn't hlundered yet Thought he'd try it all alone Like a blotter hit bhe water, sliock the hand of Lavey Jones So the tallj/ in MIG alley isn!t ojiite like all the claims But as a fair course to the Axr Force Fe won't mention any naiaes0 OLD OTZBER xTIl^E 212 Twas a dark and storey night, not a star was in sight All the Mustangs here tied down to bhe line When in rain up bo bis ears, stocd a lonely volunteer "With his orders to fly old. number aine » His ass was racked with pain as he climbed into his plane And his bung hole was puckered fit to tie And. he whispered a prayer as he climed into the air For he knew that this was hi s night to die , As he flew o'er Haga-ru he could see a school or two And the women and children very well But how was he to know that hefd fly s^ Goddamned low That his bomb blast would blow his ass to hello In the wreck he was found thinly spread, out on the ground And the crunchies they raised his weary head w"ith his life almost spent here's the message that he sent To his buddies who!d be sad to see him dead* I used an 8 to 10 delay but it didn't work out that way Fiihout a tail an P4"J won't fly Tell the Skippe-" for me, that he now has twenty three He can roll up the ladder—Semper ?i. COOL 213 I'm as cool ss the tip of an es^im^'s "col I^a as cool as a fis!h ii a frozen pool Cool as a p-le o^ fi^sty glass
SAM HOUSTON 214 A "big "black bull cane down iron the mountain Ho us to n y S am Ho us ton A "big "black bull came down from the mountain Long time ago Long time ago o o o ? Long time o o o A big black bull cane down from the mountain Long time ago Ee spied a heifer in the pasture grazin Houston? Sam Houston He spied a heifer in the pasture grazin Long time ago Long time ago o o o? Long time ago o o o He spied a iaeifer in clie uasture grazin Long time ago„ Ee jumped that fence and he jumped that heifer Houston? Sam Houston He yumped that fenGe end he yumped that heifer Long time ago Long time ago o o o? Long time ago o o o He jumped that fence and he yumped that heifer Long time as"0 o He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture Houston,, Sam Houston He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture Long time ago Long time ago o o c5 Long ago o o o " He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture Long time ago. The big black bull went back to the mountain Exhaus te d, Exhaus te d The big black bull went back to the mountain Long time ago Long ago o o o, Lono, time ago o o o The big black bull went back: to the mountain Long time ago. I AIH'T GOT 210 USE ?0H THE HOniHT 215 I ain't got no use for the women? A true one can never be found They'll use a man for his money 1-Ihen it's gone9 they111 turn him down They're all alike at the bottom Selfishj and grasping for all They'll stick by a nan when he's winning And laugh in his face at his fall. I once knew a young cow puncher Honest and upright and square Hut he turned to a ^ard shoo tin gunman And 8 wc-an put ki<-> there He fellm with e~ril cc -paniens The kind that are better off de^d (Cczi't)
i HH'Q? GOT JMO USB FOR THE FODMM (Con't) TJhen a gambler insulted her picture He fjlled h lu full of leade All thru that long night they chased him Thru mesquite and tall chaparral And I couldn't help think of her picture lihen I sa~T him "Ditch and fall If she'd "been the pal she should have He might have been raising a son Instead of out on the prairie To die "by a rangers gun* Deathfs sharp sting did not trouble His chances for life rere to si in But where they were puttin_ his body Has all that worried Li±m He lifted bis heed, on his elbow The blood from his wound ran red He looked at his pals grouoed around him And this is "hat he saido nBury me out on the prairie Ifhere the coyotes howl over my gra^e Bury me ouz on the prairie But from them my hones please save Wrap me up in my blanket And bury ne deep in the ground Cover me over "ith boulders of granite5 huge and round"» So we buried him out on the prairie "Where the coyotes they howl o'er his grave And his soul is now a resting from the unkind cut she gave And many another young puncher? As he rides "past that pile of stones Hecalls? of similar ^oman. And thinks of his -^oolderin bones. KINKY IT 216 Up in Korea midst high rocks and snow The poor Chinese Commie is feeling quite low For as the Corsairs roar by overhead He knows that nis buddies all soon will be dead, Choruss Hinky di Dinky Dinky di Hinky di Dinky Dinky di» Lin ?ao went ?Tay up to cold Sato Hi His prize Chinese amy in action to see He go v "'"here a half hour after the U's And all that he found was their hats and their shoes. (Con't) 1C>
HINKY DI (Con't) Pun. little chink men save your ass rim For 323 is oux looking for fun As the "big white nosed Corsairs came down in their dives You111 know the deathrattlers are after you lives. Uncle Joe Stalin your stooges have found It just doesn't pay to invade foreign ground For when they disturb tho severe morning calm They "brought on the rockets, bombs and napalm• Herers to the 2-C, the vought people too And their well known product the blue F4U To all gyrene pilots and carriers at sea And to bhe deathrattlers squadron olf 323» ¥e fought at Pyong Tang and at Hagaru At Eumbawa and Kaesang and Oyangbu So here's to our pilots and here's to our crew The target? the snake, and the blue F4-U. TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS 217 (Tune- Old 97) He was comin' on the downwind doin' one ninety per TChen his Hundred went into a spin He was found in the wreck' with his hand on the throttle And his body all covered with gin. Iio\T the Pratt nan said, "It can't be the engine 'Cause that engine never chugs,," So upon examination, pulling blades in every station They found it was the jet mix sludge. Chorus? (Low and Soft) (Tune- Funeral March) Ten thousand dollars going hone to the folks Ten houusand dollars going home to the folks Oh won't they be excited, Oh won't they be delighted Just think of what they can buy Ten thousand dollars going home to the folks. I SA'i HSR SNATCH 218 I saw her "snatch" her satchel from the window I held her for a moment in the rain I kissed her "as" she hurried to the station To see her brother "Jack off" the train. TIE m ROOT ARGUTD A TREE 219 (Tune- Chisolm Trail) Reached in my pocket, pulled out a penny She said boy you can't have- any. Cror-js o Cere aid tie ~>y ro^t around ° tree, r-urnd a tree Cone and tie m~ root around a trees fCon't) 11C
_± ~i RCux AROUFD A THEE (ConTt) keacnod c i^ Ju ie „ ^jiied ott a nickel Si e said ol t-a o don * even get a tickle,
^es-ohed "■ n - ->^cs^t pilled, out a dime S ->o S"a /ot11 p naa ;} ~)r T 3 !*:si;i ^ ;yoox time <, Po c'-io^ ir -3 pocket? jp-ulled oft a quarter 31-1- ■=.-„"' vo^i" mi T"n a preacrers daughter ?Gc-cned. _n ~^ pockety pulle1 out a half Sip fa^ ;n -,£; ^n ^o J Dale P9 1 =>Ugh Pen 1Q ^ 7 7 lO^^^ty P^lle^ Out "1 LltS '1 Q 1 gglo ii«_ o_ts o P^nO <*d 11 ""„ pnovet? pulled 0U~~ 3 Dick Cl ° c jo 0 n-'U ol, ^ hojgiat a f^o1-*, Toor '^t "h =■ k-itf^en? laio her on tie sirk Oi ~"f CwO ro- h«- pjoS^v old s^iik:, Tucked ^e " j1 fci 1 Cocked hor lyin' If _ 1 he^ n^ j'd p fooked her flym'o I e oke * ^ne po_migj aid guess vrhst I saw ~ lu e nc t, 3 <?s end ? "big blae Dal1 . T vei- ^ L1"° ocJc^5 Aeusp my pecker tfas sore ry rod & i° og ^ r yoi^'v0 oeen baker "by a whore» and not o i;i sce? LTii a perckorless nan T fack em n ui in i iger ^nd fool em iThen I can0 FoT7" ~^e lsc,t ttJT-1 1 sar ner5 ard I h?ven't seen her since S'be iTas jar«k rg oj " a do0g 11. through a berhed Fire fence. CP^SPIT" ttl3 CR-flLItfG 220 0i<= nig^t as L ^s era lirg and cree^ng? creeping^ creeomg soiled a young ra^dei so peecefivl v sleeping So roll o^ I f g oiefj oO roll yooc leg over*, over more I sa d to liei can I cox e ^o "bed TXxh you And then s^p repliac ^ou^e not handcuffed or tied So roll „oj j.eg over, so roll your leg over, over more c h.cr cia »"s i ere +xght c~>d Z could not get in them M Je' s e reoliec there s a kmf^ on t e tahle Pi i ijl "c as s^s-U 3rd e"1" dra ;ors split asunder _o uri - ^rQ "b^igi^g lice lightening ?ao tnunder -> -ol1 3^1 le0 over so r^31 ^our l<=g over? or°r nore« (Con't) ill
CPSEPIFG AFD CRAWLING (Con't) In about nine months lav the poor maid asunder And then she rerenbered the lightning and thunder So roll your leg over? so roll your leg over,, over more, HUMORESQUE 221 Passengers in.ll please refrain From flushing tho toilets rhile the Train Is standing in the station, I lo\re you As we go strolling through the park And goosing shadows in tr_e dark If Shermans horse Cc-n bake it? why csn't you» Tourre the guy ilut did the pushing Put the wet spots on the Gusnion Foot prints on the dash hoard upside down Ever snice you met my daughter SheTs had trouble passing water Ifish that you had never ooioe to town „ I rn the guy that did the pushing Put the wet spots on the cushion Foot prints on the dash hoard upside down Since I met your daughter Venus I've had trouble with my penis TTish I'd never seen this God damn town* I LOVE A BILLBOARD 222 I love a "billboard? I always will A sexy billboard gave me? my first thrill Fhen I was only a little chil A sexy billboard drove me wild. HERS* 1)0_____ 223 Herel s to ______? he ' s true blue He*s a drunkard through and through He*s a drunkard so they say Oh he tried to go to Heaven But he went the other way So drink chug-a-lug? chug-a-lug3 chug~a~lug So drink chug-a~lug? chug—a—lug? shug-a-lug0 PADDY MURPHY
224 Have you ever been in an Irishmans shanty Where whiskey is plenty and the money is scanty A bed on the floor0 e roof of thatch And a string on the door instead of a latch Fow there were icepicks and toothpicks And all kinds of lunatics,, ice cream and cold cream The girls were drinking kerosene• (Conft) 112
PaFUY J'URPHY (Con't) Fow t_ae nig i j that FaoxLy Furphy died is one I'll not forget Ijie boys ;'"ey sTen^d d_rirking and some ain't sober yet Fow tlie night tkaT Daddy Furphy died They ca*r>e from far and near They Took the ice rj ghr off the corpse, and but it in the beer0 ind chat's how we showed our respect for Paddy Murphy Tbatrs how we showed our honor and our pride rLhat!s how we showed our respect for Paddy Hurphy On the light That Paddy died, TEE EilPY CEESIEP EIGHT SIX 225 ~T--re fro i c_ie Eight Sin T„ o na.,.^ co.es ted Eight Six Frer^ver re go out and baTe a ball ~ro Tako L.elignT; in stirring up 3 fight /_nd kicking hawks and Tigers in The head Till chey re doado LA, FA, HA, HO, PO, HO, FIE? HEE, PEEr "Te ha^_Q got Ten A rep for bs^ng rotten Fe put- po^on in our COrs Cream of Fheat Telre from Tne Bight Six The hairy ohestel Eighx Six And ""fe ea~ (POAPF) Far Feat I (Call fie ~Tt > "l3.t - Fo^e Beer) IFF MOST CHIVILROUS PISH 226 The most chirilious fish in the ocean To ladies f02 bearing and nild Though his record be dark, is The men-earing shark "bo will eac neither woman or child» Fe dines upon -ca^en and skippers And a tourist will nis huiigei aswage Ard a fresh cabi/_ boy, Trill inspire him "with 20J If he?s past The ma tun by age* A doctor a lawyer or preacher Fe!ll gobble up any fine day Sub The ladies, God Bless !em, he'll only address fem Politely and go on his way* I can readily diTe you an instance Of a lo"ely j'oung lady from Freem Fho was oendei and 3T*eec, end delicious to eat aid ieil into the bay wirb 3 scream. (Oonrt) 113
THE L'OST CHIVILROUS FISH (Con't) She strugglea and flounced in the water And signaled jn vain for her barque She would surety have drowned, if she had not been found By a chivalrous nan-earing shark. He bowed in his manner most charming Thus soothing her impulses wild Don't be frightened, he said5 I've been properly bred And will eat neither woman nor child. He proffered his fin and she took it Suoh gallantry sone oar. disrate Ar_d the passengers cheered? ds the vessel they iD?r^d And bhe broadside ^ds fir^d in salute <, They soon were alongside the iresr $1 A life saving dinghy t as lowered 7ith a piok of the crew,, and her relatives too And the m? be nnd. the skipper aboard. They had her on board in a jiffy The shark stood attention the shile Then he raised up his flipper5 and gobbled up the skipper And went on his way with a smile . This shows that the king of the ocean To ladies forbearing ana mild Though his record, be dark*, is tie man-eating shark TTho will eat neither woman nor child» LETS HAVE A PARTY 227 Parties make the world go round Parties make the world go round Parties make the world go round So lets have a parts-* Fe're gonna tear down the bar in your town Boo Tie : re gonna build a new bar Ray It!s only gonna be one foot wide 3oo But itrll be a mile long Ray There 11 be no bartenders in our bar Boo Fe!re gonna have barmaids Ray Our barmaids will wear long dresses Boo Hade or cellophane Ray You canTt take our barmaids home Boo They'll take you home ^-^J You can't sleep with our barmaids Boo They T_onrt let you sleep Ray Beer's gonna be ^00 a glass 3oo Whiskey free Ray Only one to a customer Boo Serve^ in buckets p^ry (Conrt) ill
'
LETS HAVE A PARTY (Con't) "Te're gonna throw a21 "the beer in the river Boo They we511 all go for a swim Ray Ifo girls alloved above the first floor Boo "With their clothes on Ray There'll be no loving on the dance floor Boo And no dancing on the loving floor Ray Parties make "ohe world. go round Parties make the world. go round Parties ir.ake the world go round SO LST!S HA\TE A PiP, T1H SHA^TI TOttjv
228 There's a shanty in bh. cow:i en the little plot of ground. "Tith the green grass c,iowIn all ground, all around The roofs so worn so badly torn that it tumbles to the ground Just a tumble down shack and i bs built Kay back "bout twen by~five feet from the railroad tracks Lingers on my mind, most all of the tine Keeps calling mo back to my little grass shack I:d be just; as sassy as Ear] e Selasse If I were a king "wculdn?t mean a thing Put my boots on tali read the writing on the wall And it woulln't mean a thing? not a doddamned thing There's a queen waiting chere in a rocking chair Just blowing her top on Gaiters beer I !m looking all around and trucking on down 1 Cause I gotta get back to ny scanty town „ MOM'S IJ BED 229 Horn's in bed? Pops on top Eid?s in the cradle saj^n shoot it to her pop Moms in bed5 pops in .jail Sis is in the gorner 3^ellin pussy for sale Horns in the kitchen^ pops locked up My hunch-backed brothers got my sister knocked up Got a model T Ford? a tank full of gas A mouth full of titty and a hand full of ass Haven't got a nickel, haven't got a dime A house full of kids and none of them mine. STREET CLEAF3R SONG 230 ('Tune--Carol in a In The Horning) Vothing could, be meaner 'Than to be a stree t cleaner In the Horning Fothing could be bluer Than to pick up horse nanure In che Herringc (Conft) 113
5IRI,EI CLEAilER SOIG (Con't) T'^ien the horses unload Skat's what I really hate Cleaning up horse manure From four ill till eight Strolling with my pushcart T|hen the breezes sriell like oheeze In the morning There's nothing more I fear Than a horse with diarrhea In the morning 7~hy can't They drop these little halls Iha u donTt stick to jiy overalls In the morning 11 1 had AlladIns lamp for only a day I would. ralie a wish or two And here's what I!d say I wish they "would put classes All around those horses asses In the morning, SOUTH OP TEE BORDER 231 That louse of 3 boarder "Who else could It be While I was away at work That lousy jerk filled in for me Oh I didn't get angry Though it's driving me wild Tor he may be the father of my only child„ Oh the baby's forst words were manana It was then I could plainly see That It was a real mexlcan And there's no Spanish blood in me. Oh I stabbed that boader I stabbed him that da;y I cut him from the Rio Grande to the Sante Fe I cut off his boleros ITow he'll never play South of the border? in a Mexican way, DRTIOCIIf RUT7 AFD COLA COLA 232 Since the 45^ came to SIdi Slimane Theyfve got the French girls going insane The French girls say they trea d them nice Ana they give them a be oter pricp e Chorus? Drinkin ran and coca cola Go down Port Lyautey Loth mother and daughter orri "'g lor a „anreQ dollar* ^on'uj 116
HIIITKIN- RUTI AID COLA COLA (Conlt) In French Morocco It is mighty clear The Frenchman gezs one can of beer While the %5±h leads a life so fine Just making whopee all the tinec The SAC "boys came to 3idi this year The girls all thought That they were queer They don't dance9 they just drink "beer They're glad that -the 45*^h is here The "bomber jockeys came and left the girls so cold They acted like a million years old They donft spend money so th^y s?y 'Jb.s "rives in th^ states g<=>t all their pay, Before we landed on this field The Officers Club slowed. little yield But now T^e'l] build a cluo 1> Lux The 45"th is on the books s The American arms so brey say Allow Fraud ems only through the day There5s that click click click all the night But the OoTo says it's quite all righto Chorus? Drinkin rum and cocacola Go down to Valhalla Both mother and daughter Working for rdie yankee dollar 0 Up in Deutschland it is clear The girls don!t drink much gin or beer They will play and they will sin But_ you've got to give up your Sabre pin0 Up in Frankfurt late one night Our tech rep got mighty tight Hade passionate love to a blonde in black Fow they're takin stitches in his back. TO THE TilBLES DCOT AT SIBI 233 (Tune- Whiffenpoof Song) To the tables down at Sidi To the place where Chester dwells To the dear old Dallas Bar we loved so well Sang tne motley crew assembled With their glasses raised on high 'And the horrow of their sirging sounds like hell. Xes9 the horror of their singing Of the songs that should, sound well "idaile up rre wasting all the morning and our rest T~e will serenade our Chester TTiile life 3~3 ii~»b snail last "ill ne's sc'ie and ^eer ""oxgo oten in tiie past*, (CorJt) 117
TO T3Z TABLES IXHF AT SIDI (Con't) Fe!re the 3906th "who have gene astray Baa^ Daa^ baa lelll fcry to be good till rotation day' Baa? baa? "baa Officers? gentleren, try to be we think we'll "be here till eternity Oliy please send a replacement for me 3aa? baa? baa0 At the choir practice nightly All the songs are greet and lor Till That good old demon rum begins to fio^r Then tonsils they get rusty And the voices get off key And. the wives declare that now they have to go , The women leave discretely And the songs get more risque And tales of war are told by those who fly They fight the war in Burma And the war in Europe too And each one tries tell a bigger lie. ¥e are members of the Sidi choir j_ja<! J.a $ -La "ife rill sing the song that you desire LEo isj -La Cocks men re profess to be Pull of scotch type energy Hope we live on past this spree La, la ^ ia» ROTATIOFAL EVE
234 (Tune- Red River Valley) Life in Sidi Slimane is so peaceful But the rumors are true that re fve heard The quiet is soon to be broken By arrival of SACfs 303rdo From old Tucson they say they are leaving Leaving homes and sweet lovin rives They rill come here to old French Morocco And complicate all of our lives „ For They'll have lots of aircraft and people And they'll have at least thirty I know "^ho rill spend all o± their raking norrents Halting work for the base AICU Bug >efll not be about; to get e2:0ited For the answer to most of our fears Is uO pass en the buck tis !/ as airajs Straight on to xne Go "p^ C_F Engineers* (Cor't) 118
ROTATIONAL SV3 (Con!t) The odds are "hat ~s cannot please them There are sure to he waits and delays But if "e can stand it for two years They can stand i i; for just thirty days • FAUGHTY LITTLE DOG 235 Once I had a naughty- little dog A naughty little dog wa's he I loaned him to a lady friend To keep her company* Fow all around thc- house that night That naughty little dog did hunt He!d sticli lis nose "beneath ner dress And try to smell her----- Shame on you you naughty little dog You make rny temper rise There rs only one mail In this "whole world Who can sleep betreen her-------- Thank the lady for the wine I'll drink it for my supper Damn the man who!s got a girl And ain*t got the guts to-------- Fumble fumble all around It's -time that we should start I ate some beans for supper And I think I'm going to-------- Forty dollars I will bid And six bits I will pass Damn the girl that stole my dice And stuck them up her——- Ask your partner for her name I need it for a list Excuse me while I go outside And try to take a— ™— Pistol belt around my hips And around tnis town 1*11 frolic Take your partners In the house While he plays with his-------- Ball? play ball che umpire oried Oh how that man-can hit Take him to the alley Cause I think he!s joing to-----— (OonTt) 1 " O
JAUGHTY LITILS DOC- (ConTt) btsre .;. ,v )\, "or r ctyfaty Hit] e boy You --cic r >"ha ; ~j~< 3 -v l ll icj ck And toe"^ »'oj s baud "behind him 'Ti^h rou: jicd „ncn. his— •---------- Prick the elephant with the prod To hear the irons~er yell if he should s :ep upon yon He would smash jou sll to----- Eelp= help9 che sailor crid A3 through the sea he swan Swim or siru the skipper said Cause i donTb give a———~ —- Da mi -ry hide for eve^y libcle thing Z n-i sirg a little no re Once I ni, in a parlor ir* bh my arms around, a >-------- Hold on there my pretty little girl iLiat l"> it that you say If you shouud sit on another irans lap You'd %<3 7- a dose of —— -— Clap 7 z'lar)^ clap your hands i'j f,o:ig nz-ll never last If yon don't like this song, I sing 7ou oan kiss my "bloody ass* SIDI S1IKAKE S01\TG 236 (Tune- On top of Old Smoky) Dow gather --ourd closely; and we'll sing this refrain Bout life ^n 5Toroc^oP at 3id:< Slimane There's not enorjh women, bo graoe this bare land Ijt there's pi ency of rag heads? Cactus and sand* The heat in the cay bine? will wither your soul While all the long evenings9 you shiver with oold. It's so hot ^r old Sidi3 where no rr-er flows You'd think hell was rbo re you? and heaven below, Each man here "Jill tell ycu9 that hefs malassigned And the Air Force ''ommanders? have sll lost their minds "e here in 3iddi; TTant to k:io~T why we're here And we'll not find our answer9 in a big glass of beer. So we'll txj some ?ye wrjskey? and we'll try some rum And a galloj. of cognac; and the answer will come "ie need, some ecru lumen u? and "Te need, some supplies "But any improvement, ~llx b) a surmise e (Con't)
3IDI SLIMME SOltfG (Con't) Fork from dawn till sunsets or. many "big deals IHiile those boys fron division, are draggin their heels 'The bo5 s you will no Gee ? \fho take it so hard Ire recalled reservists, and tho Air National Guard. Trliile Ifir» sitting here singing, I've had en idea Itfs ro Agh in Irorncoc5 but death in Korea« LET OLE MOTHER AL4TUBS HAVE HER wAT 237 Boy-san wipe away the i tears 7e!re goin down to the house of mirrors To let ole mother-nature have her way Goin to look into them mirrors of glass An watch myself get a piece of ass „ Lettin ole mother nature have her way. Chorus? Closer*, come a skoshi bit closer Oh there ain:t no -use to dick around this way Put your belly close to mine "^e're gonna go pom-pcm four or five times T'o let ole mother nature have her way. I'loshi-moshi Boy-san make a skoshi trip Down to the Officers Club at the strip To let ole mother nature have her way TTe!re goin down to that glorified pub Known as the Allied Officers Club To let ole mother nature hava her way. Shrimp cocktails and. a great big steak i If ill really put us on zh.e make To let ole mother nature have her way But before >~3 go down to that plalace of sin He better load up wi bh a few thousand Ten To let ole mother nature have her ray. Hooray now nere we are at last Ilama-san parade them jo-sans past To let ole mother nature have her way Now that Tun!s as cute as a pup with specks Them chi-chi!s didn't come from no PoX„ Just let ole mother nature have her >Tay. Kama-san I111 take that oca over there ITibh tho great big chi-chi's and the sukoshie hair To let ole mother nature have her "ay On it shorely seoTS ?i a ~fSi sin To j^ay tnis jo-san a tnojsand jen To let ole rotrer i?/rs i_3~re ner s.y«
jL^r Oj£ XOih TP HaIOHE HAVE HER TUY (Con?t) Hai? hc-_ <, so 5csis sjlsi desho XCeredono shak unacnii sulci nai yo To lex olo pother nature have her way. Oh jou wake up m the iiornmg feeling like shit And nine days later it starts<" to-.-dnp- .-<-.■> *-. * j To let ole mother nature have her-7-way ■" T
-' ~ _,- j - ■> Toj tell Doc Beetlebaun the fix you*re in r
- P ~ "" He fills your ass full of penicillin lb let ole mother na cure have her way« - <- %
3 But you. will really begme to curse, yore fate
p TFhen yore s^aikers brak; out cs big as pie plate Co let ole mother na^uie nave her r8j Do ii """o Doc Beetlebaur !s office a^gain To pet yore sss full of aureomycin To let ole mother nature have her way Then onej f me) mornin you jump out of The sack To find the little son—of~a-bitch has turned-coal bLaek To let ole mother nature have her ffav The doc says stand on your toes and cough Imagine his surprise when yore balls fall off To let ole mother nature have her way. Don!t worry doc Beetlebaum tells you the score They111 no-ver be missed on your next 6O-4 To let ole mother natore have her way .But you!ll sound a lib Die funny transmittm for a fix (High Voice) Hello D T Eooier one, two? three? four? five? six To let ole mother na we have her way. "73 SOLD OTjR COW . 238 He sold oar cow He sold our cow We've got no use For your bull nci, CLOVIS 239 He stood before the pearly gate His face was scarred and old He stood before tne man of fate Tor admission to the fold nHhat have you don?" St Peter said "I've been a fignter pilot9 sir$ For many and many years I've fought the dusu ano ilown the 'D1 Wi-ch the frozen chosen few I've been at Clems Air Force Base ind par bs of Texas too* The pearly gates srung open Tide St Peter i-o^c^ed tne bell J0c e ±^ aid enese o * oIl ? ■"",> —1° You've had yojr s'-ia^0 o~ Hell <, _22
RUGGED BUT RIGHT 241 I just called! up to tell you that I!m rugged but right A thief and a gambler and I'm drunk every night I eat a porterhouse steack three times a day for my board. Ilore^than any ordinary guy can afford I got a big 'leotrio fan to keep me cool when I sleep A good looking gal to play around with my feet. I'm just a rambling man, a gambllii' man, drunk every night I just called up to tell you that I'm rugged but right, I just called up to tell you that; I'm rugged but right A thief and a gambler and. I'm drunk every night I!ve gog the hips that sank the ships of England, Prance and Peru And If you1re like Fapoleon, it's your Waterloo 1*11 take a fifteen iircermission in the Ford 7-8 Ird like "Co make it longer but I've got a late date llj motto is "Sin be gene with the wind" so lets be breezy tonight I just called up to tell you that I'm rugged and rightc REIIEMBER 242 Remember the night, "hen you ire re tight, my darling, remember TJhen I was on heat, and said you might, my darling, remember Remember you found, a tender spot, right in the middle of my twot You said you'd "withdraw before you shot But you forgot to remember0 DRIJTKIFG SOFG 243 rlhat's the use of drinking tea Indulging in sobriety Tee totaled, perversity Itfs healthier to boozee Tfhat's the use of milk and. water These are drinks that never alter Be aloud in any quarter Come on lose your blues„ Hix J' our self a shandy Brown yourself in brandy Sherry sweet or whisky neat Or any other liquor that is handy„ What's the blinking sense in drinking Anything that doesnH make you stinking There is nothing quite like sinking Blotto to the floore Abberrations metabolic Ceilings that are hyperbolic These are for the aioholie Lying on the floor„ (Con't) 123
IRIJKiTG SOFG (Con't) Vodka for your auntie Gin to make you hearty Lemonade was only made For drinking Then your mothers' at the party, Steer clear of hone made beer Or anything that isr^t labelledclear Theret is nothing els fc to fear Bottoms up my hoys„ UP THE LUFF 244 i'ly girl—friendrs up the duff in Canberra city, She's only got an go her month to go I took hex out no Luna Park? ana went aboard the dipper Then coming do~ii the stairs I tried ay very Lest to trip her It looks as tho! its going to "be a very stubborn nipper For she's only gob another nonth to grow She's gone ahout as fas as she can go. She told me many months ago that it was getting late According to the calendar I've only one to wait Four weeks and a day or two shoula he the opening date« I took her to the doc tor3 1 took her to a quacks I took her on a motor hike over humpy tracks But I expect a rebate on my next year's income tax0 THE COLOIEL'S LAK3FT 245 The 523rd went out to fly one dark and stormy night And as they taxied past I heard the old Colonel say 'The 523rd is gonna' fly, it makes me mighty proud To know I have one squadron who will penetrate a cloud <, The Five and Lime went out to fly one bright and sunny day And as they taxied past I heard the old Colonel say The Five and Lime is gonna' fly? I've got a right to sweat They auger in a hooger up—I'll loose my eagles yet* Chorus s Tfhat a bunch of meatheadsL Ilhat a bunch of schmoosi The PAF and-ITavy can stay? but they have to go I A LOST FIGHTER PILOT 246 (Tune-The Wiffenpoof Song) In the sky at angels 40 In a thunderstorm so black Sat a pilot in his delta Dagger Jet Fow his engine was a'chuggin and. he thought the end was near 3ut he didn't want to buy the farm just yet Fow his IACA1T wasn't pointing and his rad.ar set was bent And. the fuel in his tanks was going fast So he ^res^ed the Dlao'z "like box-ton sy-d b^eati^d into the air 71aTDAT-I1ATI)_-T-HAIS0R-FaISC2. save n,y ass* CCon't) 124
A LOST FIGHTER PILOT (Con»t) I!m a poor fights? pilot on a cross-country, S-O-S That Irm lost you can plainly see, S-O-S It!s so lonely way up here Just get ne back and I!1I buy the beer S-O-S„ DOW 1ST T33 VALL3Y 247 The first Time I saw her she was all dressed in white, ill In white, all in white, my God, her cunt was tight, Do ma In the valley, where she followed me . The neix time I sa~~ her she was all dressed In brown, ill In brown, all in brown, I took her inckers down, Down in the valley where she followed me • The next time I saw her she was all dressed in green,, ill in green9 all in green, I filled her soup tureen, Down in zhe valley, where she followed, me <> The next time I saw her she was all dressed, in fawn,, All in fawn, all in fawn, two little bastards born, Down in the valley where she followed me. The next time I saw her she was all dressed in red, ill in red, all in red, two little has "cards dead, Down in the "'"alley were she followed me * The next time I saw her she was all dressed in black All in black, all in black, boards nailed across her crack, Down In the valley where she followed me. KHARTOUM 248 There's bags of batchy airmen, waydown in the sunny Soudan T-Ihere everyone is batch and so's the fucking old man There's bags and bags of bullshit,, saluting on the square And when we're not saluting we're up in the fucking air, TfeTre leaving ICbartoum ~^j the light of the moon T<fe travel by nighT and. oy day As we pass Kasferait, we?ll have fuck all to eat 1 Cause we've thrown all our rations away. Shire , Shire , Somerse tshire , The skipper looks on her with pride He!d. have a blue fit if lie saw any shit On the sidle of the Somersetshire. This is my story, this is irrj song, I!ve been in this Air Force ~oo fucking long So bring on the Rodnej", tre nelson? renown The3- can't bring the Hood, 'cause the fuckers gone down Tooralay, Tooralay,
N Oh5 we'll fuck all the S?s who come down our way. 125
LT C-RAIyBFATHSRS COCK 249 My Grandfather's cock vas too long for his Jock So it drug niney .years on the floor It was longer "by half than the old man himself Though it weighed no a pennyweight more It was found on the morn of theday that he was born .And was always his pleasure and pride But it drooped wilted,, never to rise again "Fhen the old man died Ifinety years without limbering Hhat a cock? what a cock I His pieces of ass numbering I'hat a cock? what a cock* But it drooped? wilted never to rise again ""'''hen the ^ld t^byi di0^ <? MY FAMILY 250 Have you net my Uncle Hector He's a cock and ball inspector At a celebrated Snglish public school And my brother sells French letters And a patent cure for wetters TTe're not the best of familys? aint it cruel? My little sister lily? is a whore on Piccadilly My mother is another on the Strand,, My father hawks his arse-hole Round the Elephant and Castle? ¥e!re the finest fuckin family in the land. There's a gentlemenJs convenience A short way down the Strand And the Ladies is a little further on For a penny on deposit,, you can sit upon the closet But a season's ticket costs you half a crown» BRITISH OREFADIERS 251 Some die of diabetes 9 and-dome of diarrhoea,, Some die of drinking whisky and some of drinking beer But of all the world*s diseases there's none that can compare Vith the drip? drip? <3rip, from the end of your prick Of the British Gonorrhea<> R0-TIDDLB-E3-0 252 Oh Mr Fisherman9 hone from the sea Have you any lobsters you can sell to me. Choruss Singing Ro-tiddle-ee-c? shit or bust5 Never let your bollocks dangle in the dustc rYesn said the fishermen I have twoy
x The biggest of the bastards I will sell to you I TrappeJ the lebs cer up atd I took th° bustards home I snowed it to the is bus but sh« was on the phone. (Conrn) 126
RO-TIDLLB-EE-O (Con1 t) I opened up The friclge "out I couldn't find a dish So I put it in trie place Fliere the missus has a piss„ Now half-way through the night as you must know The missus got up to have a so-and-so• Bow the missus gave a squeal and the missus gave a grunt When the silly fucking lobster hit her on the cunt. How I picked up s mop end the missus grabbed e broom „ And we chased that fucking lobsxer all around the room. How ~~e hit on the heed and ~~e hit it on the s^de "re hi j Ghax fucking lobs ber xill the basxard died 8 There !s a moral to this story and tho moral is this9 Always have a shufty before you have a piss „ Tli3tTs the end. of this s 'gotj and there isn't any more There's an apple up my arse-hole? you can have the oore, ROLL MS OVER 253 Itfotr this number one <, and the song has just begun? How this is number two? and he's got me in a stew How this is number three ? and. his hand, is on my knee How this is number four? and he's got me 021 the floor How this is number fivey and his hand is on my thigh t9 Chorus s Roll me over lay me down arid do it again? Roll me over in the clover9 Roll me otgIj lay me down and do it again« How this is number six? and. he's got me in a fix How this is number seven? and I think I am in heaven How bhis is number eight 9 and the doctor's at the gate ? How this is number nine., and the twins are doing fine How this is number ten <, and he's started once again. I HAHT TO PLAY PIAjTO 1ST A ¥EORUEOTJSE 254 I want to play piano in a whorehouse That is my one desire Some may be bankers or ranchers out in Butte I just want to play in a house of ill repute You. nay laugh at this my humble advocation But carnal copulation is here to stay I don't want fame or riches I just warn: to play for those old bitches I want; to play piano in a whorehouse. i 01
BLOODT SPARROW 255 There once was "bloody sparro, what lived up "bloody spout Hong cane bloody rainstorm and washed that "bugger out Along oame bloody sparrow hawk, and spied him in his snuggery » "E sharpened up his "beak and claws, and chewed him up to huggery Along came bloody sporting type, complete with bloody gun ' He shot that bloody sparrow hawk, right up his bloody bung {Che moral of this story, so plain to everyone That them that lives up bloody spouts Donft have much bloody fan, OH JOHBITY , 256 Oho Johnny, Oh Johnny, Look wain; you've got Oh3 Jornny, Oh, Johunj - I'll tell my mum. Toufve put me in th^ family way Vliotever will my daddy say, Oh? Johnnyj Oh, Johnny, I'm sir months gene, Three more months to go, If you value yo_jr life, you will make me your wife Oh, Johnny, Oh, Johnny, OHo CATS 0"\T THE ROOF TOPS (JOEM P3EL) 257 CHORUS? Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles, Cabs with the syphilis, the clap and the piles, Cats with tneir arse-holes wreathed in smiles, As they revel in the joys of copulation. The donkey is a solitary moke He very seldom gets a po.ee But when he does, he comes in streams As he revels» . • Hippopotamus so it seems Very seldom has wet dreams But when he does, he comes is streams As he revels Poor old bovine, poor old bull Very seldom gets a pull But when he does, the cow is full As he revels .«, « o» Poor little tortoise in his shell lJoesnft manage very well But when he does he fucks like hell As he revels..,,., Wow the hairy old gorrilla is a sedentary ape "Who very seldom does much rape But when he does he comes like tape As he revels„ „, e 0 (Con f t) 128
Ox :S CM 732 ?,OOF TOPS (J0H1\T PEEL) (Con't) Bovv-legged voi-nen s'ii like goats Bald heads:, men all fuck like stoats Fhile The congregation ■sits and gloats ibid revels in,,.,. Fow I met a girl and she was • a dear But she gav9 me a dose of gonorrhea Fools ruch in where angels fear To revel Do you ken John Peel with his coat so gay He!s a dirty old soi so all men say For he canft go as off in The normal way So "'is hounds Iick iris horn in the morning "When you wake up in the morning and youfre feeling full of joy And yojr wife isn't willing and ;yowr daughter isn't ooy Then yen 'Ye got to use the arse-hole of your eldest hoy t\s you revel <■».»• « Tr7he:i you wake up in the Doming with a ten inch stand And there isn't any woman in the whole of the land 'Then there !s nothing for it hut to use your hand An you revel m the jojz of copulation» 1 AltfGSLDS POP-POM S01TG 2^8 Have you ever heen in the Philippines The place is full of Pom-pom q_ueens The clap is had? hut the syph is worse So fluh your dub for safety first Choruss Singing rum and coca cola? come down to old Angeles Both mother and daughter, working for the GI dollar The women with their dirty feet "Walk up and down Angeles street They come up close and whisper low ''How ahout a little pom-pom? Joe" The Philippines pimp is very smart He gets his dough hefore you start
y The pom-pom there is very nice But twenty pesos is a helluva price IOM 259 "We've ho en working on the railroad,, All the live long day9 Fe've heen working on fie railroad, Just to pass th3 tine awa}- CanTt yon here the rnisle hlot-ing? At night or early in the ^crn9 Can1 c ye; hear ere whistle clo Tj_ng 129
DIMi (ConTt) Din eh ? fonTt rou d!ow? Dinah won{t you "blow Dinah9 won't 70U blow your hor-or-orny Dinah? won't you blow? Dinah9 won't you blow? Dinah? won't you blow your horn6 Someone's in the kitchen with. Dinah, Someone's in the kitchen I knew, I know SomeoneTs in the kitchen with Dinah Strumming on the old Id an joe •> Singing fee-fi~fio.dle—^-I-0 Fee-Pi-Fiddle-E~I-0-I-0-0 Fee— Fe--Fiddle F-~i~0 Strumming on tne old ben.joe « THF ?FT£K OF ARABY 260 Itli the shriek of Araby* Tour heart "belongs to me At night when j^ou're asleep, Into your tent 1*11 creep The stars that shine above ? I^'ill light our way to love Oh rule this land ^ith ne, I'm the shiek of Araby0 dear old dad 261 I want a beer Just like the beer That pickled derr old dad It was a beer And the only beer That daddy ever had A good old fashioned beep? s With lots of foam Took ten men to carry daddy home I want a beer Just like the beer That pickled my old dad« III RED HAVSF 262 Then whip-poor-wills call And evening is nigh I hurry to my red haven
^ A turn to the right A little red light "Will lead you to my red haven YouJll see a smiling face on the pillow-case A form devine A little ole ¥ whos been S________ before a million times Just Ilollie and me There111 never be three "We1 re careful in our red haven„ 130
RATIEY AIR PATCH - 263 It was cough, in old Manila nil a nils It was rough in Tokyo But this G D Puerto Rico Rico Rico Is the thoughest place I know Tou can go to Ramey Air Patch, Air Patch, Air Patch Any hour of any day Tou can watch the Thirty-sixes ? sixes? sixes As they crash into the baye You can take these coral beaches? "beaches, "beaches You can take this waving grass You can take this Puerto Rico, Rico = Rico And bo bhat I1!! raise my glass, DAISY 264 Daisy9 Daisy,, give me your answer do Irn half crazy all for the love of you It won!t bo a stylish marriage I can!t afford a carriage But you'll look sweety upon the seat Of a bicycle built for two. Tony? Tony* here is your answer true I'm not crazy all for the love of you There won't be a stylish marriage Till you can afford a carriage And I;ll be damned If I'll be crammed On a bicycle built for two0 TEE DMF DUEMY 265 You take the leg form some old table You take the arm from some old chair You take the neck from some old bottle And from a horse you tak© some hair„ I~ow you put them all together With, the aid of string and glue And I'll get more lovin1 from that god damn dummy Than I ever get from you 'TRIERS IS WOTHIWG LIKE SOKE ___________ We get beer in nine ounce glasses We get cigarettes In tins lie get drunk each Friday evening We get headaches for out sins We get CB from the 00 When he gets back all our cheques What don't we get Wg don't get ______________ (don't) 131
THERE I3l\T0TEI2\TG LUCE SOI'IS _________ (Con't) Pilots need some recreation "When iiard flying lias been done And what better recreation Than a spot oi harmless fun We forsake our bullshit castle Tor a spot t_ats marked XX "What do we rant i T'"e all want _________ Chorus s There is nothing like sone___________ Itfothing in this world Tncvgh it's perfectly complex There is no tiling li&e some ______________ Some girls like to oling and say5 Oh Brother Unfortunately most girls scr^nm for ^"OTI^l Ivbw we !Te studied Lr Kinsey And we've read his lates g hook But we think tnat his conclusions Are a little hit mistook For he seems to think that passior1 Is a secondary reflex Why don't they teach the poor man Just when the learned doctor Appears to'have left; boos important 3ut unmentionable things unsaid Once again it rears it!s ugly heado A1TTH0NY HOLT 26? A is for arse-holes? all covered in shit Hey Ho says Holy (Chorus) And 3 is for bugger who revels in it With a Roly Poly; gammon and spinach Hey Ho for Anthony Roly„ (Chorus) 1 Cs for cunt? all dripping in piss? And D for the drunkard who gave it akiss 2 E's for the eunuch with only one ball, And P for the fucker with no ball at all 3 G is for goitre5 gonnerrhea and gout i_nd H is for harlot who dishes out 4 I is for injection for syphilis and i bch And J is for jump of a dog on a bitch 5- IC is for king who shot on the floor ±n± L is for lousyy licentious whore« 6 II is for maidenhead; tattered and torn9 And If is for iManey whose ars-hole is worn 7 0 is for orifice9 already revealed ? is for penis ready unp^eled (GonTt) 132
MTEOWI ROL Y ( Co n * t) 8. Q is for quaker who shot in his hat And R is tJie rodger who redgered the cat, 9* S is for shit-pit full to the "brim And T is xhr turd that is floating therein. 10c U is the usher who taught in the school And V is the virgin who playd with his tool 110 V is for the whore Tho thinks fuckings a farce And Xy and Z you can stick up your arse. LAST 5AIPURDAT MIGHT 268 When I came home last Saturday night as drunk as I could he I saw s hat upon the rack? where my hat ought to he . I said to my darling wifey "23b w tell ell of it to me." ¥ho owns that hat upon the rack? where ny hat ought to be. She saids "You're "blind 5 you're drunk, 3rou silly old cunt You're hlind and cannot see. For that is a "basin that you!re mother gave to me In all my worldly travels, ten thousand miles or more, I Tve never seen a "basin with a hat hand on "before. I saw a coat upon the heh..... "For that is a blanket that your mother game to me " I've never seen a blanket with brass buttons on before. I saw a head beside the head.... "For that is a turnip that your mother gave to me" "I've never seen a turnip with a mustache on before." I saw a, thing beside the thing.... "For that is a foiling pin your mother gave to me" I've never seen a rolling pin with balls on it before I saw a bum beside a bum "For that!s the dear young baby yourself you gave to me" I've never seen a baby's bum with marts on it before. THE MARRYING KI1TD 269 If I were a marrying maid, which thank the Lord I'm not, sir? The kind of man that I would we'd, would be a Rugby fullback sir, For herd find touch,, and I'd find touchy We?d both find touchy together, We'd be alright in the middle of the night Finding touch together. A wing three-quarter --——__-.—.-------He'd go fast A center t>err-quarter ——— ——----—- He'd go strsight A stand off half ———————— Herd go through A Rugby scrun he if ----——.——-— He1 a prt it in (Con!t) 133
THE HARRYING KIITD (Con't) A rugby loos- forward —-—-----— He'd "break fast A second ro" forward----------------------— Ee'd bind tight A front row forward —-~------------i__ He'd push hard A rugby referes----------------------------—-_ He'd Mow hard A rugby linesman-------——.--.------— Hefd put it up A r-agby spectator———- For lie1 clap, clap And I*d clap, clap ¥eTd both oIap? clap togcrther ¥!d "be alright in the middle of the night CLAP, CLAP, CLAPj Together. TEE PORTIONS OP A ¥0PA1\T 270 The potions of a woman that appeal to manrs depravity,, Are fashioned with considerable care- And what at first appears to be a harmless little cavity Is really an eleborate affair» Doctors of distinction have examined the abdomena Of various experimental dames And have listed The components of these woranlyphenamena And given them most charming Latin names. There!s the cliooris? the vagina? the vulva? perineum? And the hymen in the case of certain brides <, Delighful small devices you would love if you could see 'em There's a hundred other little things besides* Isn't it a pity then, that when we poor men chatter Upon the things to wich I have refereed We use for what is really a most complicated matter Such a short and unattractive little word* The Beply The erudite authorities who study the geography Of these remote but interesting lands Are able to indulge their taste for intimate topography And view the scenic details close at hand, But while we lesser mortals are aware of the existence Of mysteries beneath the public knoll We're norr?ally contented to survey them at a distance And treat then^ roughly speaking, as a (17) hole. 134 (CorTu)
THE PORTIOF OF A ¥OIIiJT (ConTt) But when we are confronted nth somo morsel of virginity We exercise a gentle sense of touch ¥e do not cload the inciter m meticulous Latinity But call the whole affair a such end such* Men have ncde this useful but inelegant commodity Hie subject of umnor-ible jibes? .And while the name we call it by is something of an oddity It seems to fit the subject it describese THREE CLB JiAIDS 27^ This first; ladyfs name "res Elizabeth Porter She was fche Bishop of Cnichester's daughter Who went to get rid of some old vix^m water And nobody knew she was there* Chorus ? 0h? dcar? what can the mat cor be? Thsee old maids were locked m the lavatory? They were there from Monday to Saturday lib-body knew they were there. The second lady's n:me was Elizabeth Humphery- Who went for a pee and could not get her bun free She said "Oh dear? this is really quite comfy11 Nobody knew she was there• The third lady's name was Elizabeth Bender Who went to adjust a broken suspeJidor And got it mixed up with her feminine gender And nobody knew she was thereto THE UO¥K 272 There lived a monk of great renown There lived a monk of great renown There lived a monk of great renora And he fucked all the women all over town* x Choruss The old sod? the old sod, the dirty old bastard, The bugger deserved to dies Euck § Lou us pray - Glory? glory? Halleluj-c, He took then to his lily 7rtiite bed (3Tmes) And fucked them ell till they wee3 ceed. One day he met a meiden fair, (3) „nd ' 0 lured "her up ino ^is Ipir* 135 fCnn^+l
THE mm (Con!t) He took her to his marble halls (3) And showed her is prick end his bloody great hells* He lend her on his wily white "bod (3) And fucked the girl till she was dead, The other nouks all oried ,!Por shame" (3) They took up a knife and cut 011 his fame» But on that ressurection norn (3) The oirty old bjggcr lad still got a horns And so that nonk _ias gone to hell (3) And we!d heard that b^'s fucking the devil as well. TE3 MOTOR OF BAYSFATER 273 The Ma^or of Bays rater's got; a hc-re for a daughter And the hairs of her Hicky di do hang down to her knee» I know cause I've seen them? I!ve been up and 111 between them The hairs of her Fick;y di-do hang down to her knees* One black one5 one ^nite one, and one with a bit of shit on The hairs of her Micky di-do hang down to her knees* And if I should court her3 Ud heve !en cut shorter, The hairs of her \i.ck$ di-do hang down to her knees <, RICKY DA3T DO 274 As I was walking down the stree c A fair young maid 1 chanced to roet She said Hello how do you do Would you like to play with my Rick Dan-Do * Your Ricky Dcii Do I said wba o& that ItTs soft and smooth like a pussy cat Hairs all round and split m two That's what I call my Ricky dai do, She took mo to her father's celler She said to me you're very nice feller She gave ne wine and shisky too And I played all night with her Ricky Dan Do * Her father came and her father sdd "You've gone and lost your maiden head So pack jour grip and baggage ooo And earn ^our living with your Picky Dan do. She ent to to^m to be a ^horc She nung this 10tice outside i°_ door Ten dollars do"f 1 no less *-il 1 00 If op ^t ti ola ^itx ^r R c j >i Ov.
(a^r*t) ~3o
RICKY DAN DO (Con't) There cane a poliseman up to her door Show me your licesnce xo "be a whore I have no licence tell you what 1*11 do I!ll let you play Kith play with my Ricky Dan do, The hoys all came and the hoys all "Went The price cane soen to eighteen cents Prom sweet sexteen to eight-two 111 had a hash at her Ricky Dan dol There cams a gvj9 a sun of a hitch Fho had the pox and the sailors itoh? He had blue hails and shankeis too And he played all nitht with her Ricky Dan Dol. And the Ricky Den Do now is badl3" worn The Ricky Dan Do is tattered end torn? The Ricky Dan Do now is up the kite The the Ricky Dan Do T^llsy "Goodnight". F-84 pilots battle cry 275 The Red Nose Migs are coming ITot a Sabre in sight The Red Nose Migs are coming And they want to fight Let's HURRY HURRY HURRY HOME. WIRRAtIaYS DOIT'T BOTHER ME - 2?6 Wirraways donTt worry me9 "vlirraways don't worry ne Oil burning bastards with flaps on their wings Fi"ch buggered up pistons and buggered lip rings The bomb load is so fucking small Three fifths of five eighs of fuck all There's such a commofcion out over the ocean So cheer up my lads9 fuck 'em all* They say that the Japs have a very fine kite, That we're no longer in doubts When there's a Zero way out on your tail, This is the way to get out 0090 Be cool and collected,, be calm end serene Don't let your Britich blood boil DonTt hesitate shove her right through the gate And drown the poor bastard in oil, DARK AlO DRYhJIY EYES ~ 277 A four old whores of P^rtsmixh to""n "•here drinkirg Sp~nich mie ; (Conrc) 137
DAEK AID DREiJIT STBS (ConTt) This gist of the conversation was? "Is your cunt bigger than nine". Then up there spake the fisherman's wife Ind she was dressed in black And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a fishing smack5 my boysy The sodlings and the dabs And in the other corner She'd a shocking dose of crabs„ Ohoruss She had those dark and dreamy eyes .And a Fhizz-bang up her jacksey She was one of the flash-eyed hores One of the old brigade. Then up there spaoe the brewer's rife And she was dressed in grey And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a brewer's dray She had a brewer*s dray? my boys Athing just like a truck, And in the other corner SheTd the remains of last night's fuck. Then up there spake the sailor's wife And she was dressed in blue And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a life-boat's crew She had a life-boat's crew? ny boys5 The rowlocks and the oars? And in the other corner The Marines were forming fours, Then up there spake the cricketer's wife And she was dressed in verrillion And in one corner of her funn;y little thing She had the Lords Pavilion She had the Lords Paviihion? boys A social sort of joint And in the other corner There was Hobbs at cover pint* Then up there spake the barman's wife And she was dressed in yellow And in one corner of her funny little thing She had the whole wine cellar She had the whole wine cellar With barrels full of beer And in the other corner She had Pox and Gonorrhea. (Con't) 13-
DARK MD DREAMY ETES (Con't) Then up there spake the airmails wife And she was dressed in "beige inid in onj corner of her funny little thing She had a handly-page She had a Unadly-Page, my hoys With a joy stick and its knowb And in the other corner Were two airmen on the job. Then up there spake the actor's wife Who was also dressed in belge? And in one corner of her funny little thing She had a, Windmill stage She had the windmill stage? my hoys The gallery and the stalls And in the other corner She had C B Cochranefs halls. And then up spake the pilot's wife And she was dressed in chrome And in one corner of her funny little thing She had the aerodrome She had the aerodrome ? my "boys The homhers and the troops9 And in the other corner There Wimpys Looping Loops „ Then up up spake the ops room girl? She was a little WAE And in one corner of hor funny little thing She had the Ops reem staff She had the Ops room staff, my boys All fucking there like hell And in the other corner Sh'd the signals staff as well* THEY CALLED THE BASTARD STEPHENS 278 A maid, sat in a mountain glen Seducing herself with a fountain pen The capsule broke9 the ink ran wild And she gave birth to a blue-black child* And the celled the bastard Stephens (3Tines) "Cause ho was a blue-black childe Uo matter how nor where no when Use Stephens Ink in your fountain Pen, IF ?IOBILE 279 There's a shortage of good wheres? In Tlcbile (3 tines) But there's keyholes 1:1 che doors And thole's kn^t-holos in the floors m r~fh„lo ,
(Con't) 139
Ill MOBILE (Con't) There fs a "blockage of bogs, in Mobile (3 times) Itrs a habit of the working classes Tlhen they've finished wi-ch their glasses They just stuff them up ~heir arses, in Mobile. Oh, the old dun coir is dead, in Mcbkile, (3) But the children must be fed So we rll mild the bull instead, in Monile • Oh the eagles they fly high, in Mobile (3) iind they shit right in your eye So thank God the cows donrt fly, in Mobkile„ Oh the negroes they gro>i tall, in Mobile (3) But they shoot them in the fall And they eat fem balls and ail, in Mobile* There's no shortage of good beer, in Mobile (3) And they give us damn good cheer Oh5 thank God what we are here, in Mobile* There Ts a lovely girl called Dinah, in Mobile (3) For a fuck there is no finer "Cause she's got the best Vagina, in Mobile. There*s a man called Lanky Danny, in Mobile (3) And his ins tic t 1h uncanny "When he's fingering a fanny, in Mobile0 There *s a tavern in the town, in Mobile (3) Where for falf a fucking crown You can get a bit of "brown, in Mobile* Oh, the girls all wear tin pants in Mobile (3) But they take them off to dance Just to give the boys a chance in Mobil© <> Therels excess of copulation in Mobile (3) They rel for stimulation On mutal mestcrbation, J'lin Mobile The CO is a bugger, in Mobile, (3) iind the adj, he is another So they bugger one another in Mobile„ TAC HEADQUARTERS 280 TAC Headquarters, thats the spot Twelve full Colonels, thats a lot Twice as many Generals too QL-C Headquarters is the pla&e for you.
\ j^TTI. T£E MISSION'S OVER 281 Ait?r :he r.ission's ovor After ro all got "back lie get interrogated Where lid you see the flak? How wore tLu Jerry fightars? What times was the tally-ho? Have you any bitches If not? you may go* We like P-47 We think they handle swell We like to fly formation We're all as nuts as hell We like the fighter peal-off It will kill us all some day, Land in 15 Or the colonel will have say (Any name) 9 you straggled ell dcy» (-inj zicPG) 5 used poor techinque * (in/ nane)s you had your head up, WeTll have a short critique You missed the land foil-in (any mizefy (Any name) ? you will report Why5 with only one wing off You had to abort* BRIHG THAT BASE-LEG TE 282 (Tune-Pistol Pcckin'Maura,) Flying rround the pattern And was I haveing fun Until one day I undershot And now my flyingTs done.. Chorus § Bring that base-leg m, "boys, Bring that base-leg in? Space yourself on the forty-five iind bring that base-leg in» Ok9 the pieces flew and the pieces fell As I slid onto the ground And all the while the tower yelled^ nPull up and go aroundo" HERE'S TO THE 1E3XT KM TO DIE 283 Betrayed by the Regular Army Cas±_off by the Signal Corps, Signed up for nin months flying And stayed on for three years more * Chorus ? So s tand by yo-jr g 1 -es es s to ady This rerld is 0 ~ orld of lies Hjrers e torst bo the zie~d already Laid, nurreh for txie n^3t nicii to dio 0
(ConTt) -I1-
HERE'S TO EtF ]\TEXT i'L'JT TO DIE (Con't) Wg looped in the purple sunset / ¥e spun in the silvery dawn With a trail of black smoke behind us To show where our comrades have geno « Echoing through the low hung rafters? Resounding from the walls so "be.ro- You can hear the tears and- laughter Of the depdy for thoy really are thore. MY T"T1LD IRISH HOSE * 284 My wild Irish Rose The sweetest flower that grows You may search everywhere But none can compare frith ny wild Irish Rose Ily wild Irish Rose The seetest flower that grows inid some day for my sake She may let me take The bloom from my wild Irish Rose* L/J\TDLORD? PILL THS FD0WI3TG J3CML 285 Three jolly coachmen sat in ""an English tavern Three jolly coachmen sat In an English tavern There they decided that| there they decided thatf There they decided that they'd have another flagon. Choruss Ohj landlord? fill the flowing bowl Until it doth run over Ohj, landlord,; fill the flowing bowl Until it soth run over0 For tonight we111 rierryj merry bef For tonight we111 merry5 merry be, For tonight we'll merry? merry be? Tomorrow weTll be sober* lTow? the man who drinks light ale and goes to bed quite sober Now, the man who drinks light ale end goes to bed quite sober? Fades as the lilly fadesf " fad&s as the lilly fades| Fades as the lilly fades! he!ll die before October 1 Chorus t But the man who drinks stout ale? and goes to bed quite mellow But the man who drinks stout ale? and goes to bed quite mellow Lives as he ought to lives lives as he^ought to live? Lives as he ought to live5 he1!! die a jolly fsllowl I42 (Con't)
jx.1^^ FILL THE FLOTfllvTG BO¥L (ConTl) Chorus s lfow? the maid who steels a kiss and runs to, tell her mother % Few, the maid who steals a kiss and runs to tell her motherj Does a very foolish thingj does a very foolish thing| Does a very foolish thing? she'll never get another I Chorus % But the maid -"ho steals a kess and stays to get another! But the meid ~\ho steals a kiss and stays to get another| Is a "boon to all mankind! is a boon to all mankind! Is a boon to all mankind! she'll be a fruitfull mother I LAMENT OP TEE RESERVIST 286 (Tune-Cigsrettes and Whiskey) I was a civilian and flew one weekends l\To sweat about clanks and no sign of the bends But I am a retread and older I grow Now I fly a Mustang, its1 old and it's slow. Chorus? Sinuiju and .Anak, Sinanju and Simmak Theyrll drive you crazy, they111 drive you insanae Q Quad fifties and forties, and one hundred sorties They111 drive you crazy Tileyr 11 drive you insane I Oh, once I iras happy and I flew a jet At 35?0°0 1-^v fat can you get? They sent; me bo He 11 is for six weeks to trian They gave me a Mustang,, It!s no aero-plane. We strafed and we bombed and we shot air to air Then off to Korea, we're fouled up for fair ¥e came to K-Four-Six to fly with this Group My hair's turning gray and my wings have a droop! I flew my first mission and it was a snap Just follow the leader, don't look at a map But now I've got eighty and lead a sad flight Go out on armed recce and can't sleep and night "Went up to Mig iJ_ley, S-2 said no sweat If I had not looked around, I'd be up there yet Six Migs jumped our-------and the leader ye filled break Sixty-one and 3000, how me knees did shake I If I live through a hundred and they ask for more I'll tell them to shove it my -— is to sore They can ram it and jam it for all that I crre Just give :.ie a "Tmg job, a desk and a chair! 143
LILI KARLEF3 287 Underneath the lamp post "by the "barracks gate* Standing oil alone<, every night you'll see hor wait She waits Tor the bey who marched away .And though heTs gone she hears him say Oh5 promise you'll he true Fare the well? Lili Merlene Till I return to you Fare thee troll, Lili Marlene Underneath bho lamp post by the barraaks gate Standing ell &loney every night you*11 see her waile For this is the place a vow was made .And Dreezes sing her serenade Ohj, promise you'll he true Fare tuee rell? Lili 3'Iarlene Till I return to you Fare thee wellj Lili Marlene«. Underneath the lamp post "by the barracks, ga>be Standing ell ^lone5 every night you'll see hor wait And there in the lamp light it is said A halo shines above her- head Ohs promise you'll be true Fare thee welly Lilil Marlene5 till I return to you Fare the well? Lili Marlene» Underneath the lamp post by the barra±ka gate Standing all alone*, every nighi you'll see hep wait And as they go marching to the fray The soldiers all salute and say We'll tell him you've been true Fare the T'Tell? lili Marlene Till I return to you Fare thee TTell ? lili Marlene PHILADELPHIA LaWTOR 288 Way out in Henos iTevada Where romance blooms and fades,, A great Philadelphia lawyer Was m love "Tith. a Hollywood me id Come love ond we will wrnder Out where the lights are bright I'll win jz-j v divorce from you husband And we can get married Tonight. low bill TcS a gun~toting cowboy Ten notches rare carved on his gun And all the boys a round Reno Left Uild Bill's maiden alone. (Con't) 116.
P- iii .DEL "PHI i_ L.jrfEU (Con! t) On» night when ho Tas reiutning Fror riding tne range in zho cold He drea on. of ms HolXyvodd sweetheart Her love f\s ujui^g es g->id0 y As he drsf near ncr tfmdjv A shed, vt he &c "ni tho shade* ' T~~rs the great Ihiladelphia lawyer Making love to his Hollywood nsii, The night was as still as t^e desert The noun ras right -"V^rjread Bill lis ce od ?y. lie to the lawyer Be could niear f /°ry r^ t>°t re s~id0 Your hands ^3 &_, ^j?--bf~ g it l-v-eJ _, 9 Your lor-1 S) raro a j/S ^±viae? Cono g^ ij_ Gh re to the city Ano lea~ve tn is /ild c b^y behind l\Fow hack m o"1 d Pennsylvania Ariong the beautiful pn^s? There's less Philadelphia 1 a iyer In old Philaaclpric t might„ HOG DRI7TP, 289 (Tune-Kcon liver) Hog d iver? lusjimg through tie sicy Oh hr g a aasmng 0u3 am I Than >?^ Tighter all ?ro lighter? Wherever sn^ ' s gomi', she's go ml bh^ "o slow* Hog driver, >Thile Sxie howls md moans? I often wish ipon a star Thet soneday there'll be An ?-/ic? waiting gust f^r me9 find ihen IJ11 never he hog driver again. THE COWBOY'S LiJiSFT 290 As I walked out on the streets of LcredoP As I 7~aik:ea. out m Laredo one day? I spied a cowpuncher all wrapped up m white linen All Tapped in 1 hite linen as cola as tre clay<> 0? nca u the frur slowly a^d play the fife lowly? Play cjc oe^d narch as you ccr^j ire a"icng<, *- Tale ^ t:> ~Lr -ello33 thero lay the sod o'er me For ilr a you^g co TDoy fnd I hnoTT I fve done wrong*. (Conft) 1&5
T€B COWBOY'S LlFZET (Con't) I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy Those words he did say as I slowly stepped, by Cone six down hosIda my and hear my sad. story I^m shot in the breast end I know I nust die . It was jiice in the saddle I used to go dashing? Once in The saddle I used to go gay Then I first took to drinking and then took to gambling Got shot in the brea.it and IV, dying today, Let sixteen gamblers come carry my coffin Let six pretty maidens come sing me a sorg Take de to the graveyard* there roll che sod o'er me For "in e yoiTg cowboy and I know I've done wrong. We boa,t the drun slowly and played the fife lo^iy And. hiLterl^ wept as we bore hin along For we all loved our comrade so brave? ycvng9 end handsome? We all loved our comrade althoT he*d done wrongs '1KB FOGGY? FOGGY LEW 291 When I was a bachelor, I lived all alone I —orked at the weaver's trade And the only? only thing that I did. that was wrong,, "Was bo woo a fair voung maid I wooed, her in the wintertime Part of the summer too And tne only, only thing that I did that was wrong9 Was to keep her form the foggy, foggy clew0 One night she knelt close by my side? When 1 was fasr asleep, She threw her arms around my neck And bhen began to weep She sept9 she cried, she tore her hair, Ah? me5 what could I do So all night long I held her m ny arns. Just to keep her from the foggy? foggy dew, Again I'm a bachelor, I live with my son, We work at weaver's trade And every single time I look into his eyes He reminds me of that fair young meid He reminds me ofthe wintertire Part of the summer too And of the many, many times that I held her in ny arms Just to keep her from the f^rgy? foggj dewc U6
jl.-iE EOBIR B^STi^DS 292 1# I'm a lL~ocreuic figuis i~ mese autocraTic States A Pathetic Jb^onstraTion of heridiTary traits i.s the daughters of the "bakers "baked the most delicious "breads As the sons of Casancva fillec1 The ^osi exclusive "beds As the Rossesvolcs ond, Barry^ores — and others I could nane Inh^riTed their calenBs ^"hich perpetuate their fane My position m the sxructure of Sociexy I owe, To those little qualities -tv parents bequeathed re long ago ¥o>t r-y father ves a traveliiifc, nan and nusieal co hoot Ee used to play pidio m tie House of lll-repuce There xLe Me dan res a lady mc credit to her guIt Slg enjoyed ny Baden's pleura, ara I ; :s The result Bo -y -\~r~>f end n;y paopj- ere ur^> oies I leva to ch-/ik Baet I 8re- vp to BB BRBSIDB IT of a-h C^ty \Tni, id B^xJc^ ll, Ii a oozy little far-Nioase i o r 0023 IxTtle Bell ±1 dear old fasromec fa bier end "His deugnxer used 00 d^ell She »cS sweet9 she fires gentle,, she res Tcader? she "was mild But her synparhies TTere sjc! ciat she TTes frequeitly fTith child Ifor xhe hired man vas a _evorite with tne gel!s m Manny's set And th» Traveling nan fron Scrditon res an eve i-noney Dei. For such "Were nanny's morels -- and such ffes her elure That eve4 Roger 3ebso 1 resn1 g very smo. 'Then she was feeling glocpy I c^ulc always make her gun. By childishly .mcuJireing iBir oy pa_yy night have been. So I took ny nanny's morals and I took nj pappy1s crast? xOid xhej appointed no heed o t a luge mvos inane t"i;st. Ill- In a cosy little chain gang en a dasty southern rord My late laronted pappy lies nis pern^nent ahode I\Tow sone were xiie^e for Suoelmg, haT ny papoy's xily fault Was an overwhelming ?rea^nAsss for crimial assault His philosopy "»7c-s simple a^id Croc from noral Tepe9 Seuuctio^ is for sissiess bj~ a He-man has his rape And xho poppy's Iist )f victims ^es incredibly rich Ana nenry she was one of tie""1;, he*d r^ver Tell re which, ITow I never went ro c^llece, 0it I got ne a degx"ce I reckon I'n tre ™>^del of a perfect S03 I'r> a do "bit to ny coatrys > 0 I'n a credit to n„ Dad I'n the lose e-c^eusive SB jxBOB this nniio^ ever had, IV. I'n an euxocreTic figure 11 Bjsb de^ocraxic ste.es /. paxtatiu dc^ ts oration ^f "areaitary traits, as t_e de^gh.ers of police to it Jrvo the larg^ t feet As the de^girrcr ^f tB^ flo^ gio nas a Jiggle tc nor seat I"j posiTin at t-c B^tto- of s-ci^ty I o e To those lictle cpu^liti^s ~ per^n^s hoc.ueTa.ee t long ego Ho" ry fatn^r .cr *rs a ^.ricn ra. -\.i~ h. t „s .ven norc He "as -smod to - t ~r? - fa-~ uci I . d_ ore I ras bom 1" r>^l;> "ell c ? c^ "seo .c1" «lj 0^ — : i" oy I 7tar r-o^cd .3 e-er^ . =- a^ •»-^ pl„^-r in ai- ^3 a I xr\ost^ B ^, s„t^B I a- ^c ^rc jj f-11-----■■ i,rd _f B „ c c -.o1 1 - z s - o --- 2-r -^ 1 ' ^ a ^_ -OJ°^
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THR0TTL3 3STDER 293 ( Tune -McFan ar aT s Band) llj nr;ac is Throttle Bender9 I!a the loader of the grngf I burrod up 1 ot s uf ongine3 ? But I don't give a hang To ne full bore is normal cruise9 Cause I don't give a darn My boys never can catch no They1 to got a lot to learn. Chorus s w'g are the beys frou Iaaauki? To are the boys from Itazook? "\Te ore t^e boys croai I basuki, To fly with the Gr^up* Ky zi-~?e xo Throttle Bonder Ifn the leader of the Group I always C£"jse confusion But I don't give a hooto I clinh'toc slow? I dive too fast I pull excessive Grs I knoii' ny boys are following I near their knocking knees „ My no.ne is Throttle Bender ITn the leader of the Wing« I haven!t led a group in years So I don't know a thing About the wing fomaiion? boys,, That I am going to ieaci| But Z^n the wing Conmander So there really is no need. Ho if jou lead a flight., boys. Or if ;you lead a Group? It end rn ear and you will hear The latest kind of poop, Fron ToKeeyo to Sezznego lou'll hear the boys all say, The leader bent the throttle? so I had. a rough day to day. WmLtziig ::_.tilda 294 Once a jolly swag™an c:rrped ~by tho briil-along
/ Under the shade of a o?olibah tcee9 And 13 sang as be sat sua Trailed till .his billy boiled? You111 cone D--,]il czing liatilda with r.o . Chorus § Taltzing Hatilde, "aitzing llatiidoc You'll c^ire o~waltzmg HaLilda ~n_th no And he sang as he sat and '"itoc1 till his billy bailed To_n' 11 c^"~i^ n™raI~zi1vi T"r'"/j.1 ~ ~ith n°->
10xi!t) 140
lilROYYLS SSJ\TD5R (Con't) Down o?me a jur..buck t drink rt the billalong^ Up jumped the s^agnan and grabbed him with glee And he sang as ho stowed that junbuck in his tucker bag You'll conn a-waltzing Tl>.tilda with me. Up rode a squater counted _m his thoroughbred? Up rode His troops 5 ono? bwo? three Where's that jolly junbuck ? you've got in your tucker bag? You'll c.nc a-waltzing Matilda with ne . Up jumped tiie swagnan, sprang into the brillalvag You'll nvsver c^ieh re alive Beil he* And his gaost ney og r.eerd as j^ ■ irn b;y he Mhl^br.g You'll come a.-~~T,-I 3-ing Me "iiwk? - i uh ne * It is sady but true? that; or oner- dt later ? mast Fighter Pilots 7i:id thenselves shafted pug of a Squadron? and in bo that oft Cursed organization called iir Base Group=> Yhi^ song is for then "Co sing to tboir fonor fr tends „ Tune - SAT3 ^ FIOhTYR PILOTS ASS Pilots,, gentle Pilots5 pilots one and all Ply boys? fleshy fly beys? please listen to our call Buzz boys? busy Buzz b^ys3 this is all we ask Take those Goddann Sabre Jets and s^ove them up your ass» Chorus % Sing Halleluia5 Sing Haileluia Stick your finger up your asss join che fighter pilot class Sing Hallol"air.? Sing Haileluia Stick your finger up your ass and flap your wings0 Who feeds the sons of bite" es and clothes thoir scrawny backs Who guards their goddann airplanes and heats thoir fucking shacks Who gives thea light and water, not Kinpo Power and Gas If they don't like the service they can t>loT,r it out their ass. TDY to Tsuiki, went che Sabre Dance Saw a Sukoshi pilot got a J0sans pants It cost, lain thirty sollars cor just a little feel Along came an Air Base Group man wro got it ior a steal. Jet Jocks are the hot shots, we'll tell you one and all And when it cones to shoeting? they're really en the ball They had a little contest to prove who was the first But when the score was counted they ended up the worsto You see these flashy Jet Boys, clinb fron their shiny hacks With noon suits and silly jock straps a nfnging fron their backs They sing the prrise of Serwy Snail with wild end side aclaira Just Fighter Pilots—-Pilots, without a fucking brain. (Con't) IhO
Tunc - SAVE A FIGHT7!! PILOTS ASS (Con't) They spin their ycrns of Air W"ay? by pilots brave end fair Eighty percent is bull-shit5 and twenty more is air We hear that they're by far the best and thrt we'd better believe But where in the Hell ~.ould the fly bo;ys be If the Air Base Group should leave, The squawk box screams of flak holes and tanks all out of gas Of takusan NIG's and bandits a playing on their ass They get their bloomin balls shot off but still they brag of it Tilth one accord we'll tell the wcrld? They cen't Fly For SHIT, 150
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