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FIGHTER PILOT'S TOAST
Here's to me in my sober mood
When I ramble sit and think
Here's to me in my drunken mood
When I gamble sin and drink,
But "when at last it's over
And from this world I pass
I hope they bury me upside down
So the world can kiss my assc
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C R 3 I) T t s
We express our thanks to the following organizations, individuals,
and publications from irhioh we have plagiarized shamelessly is the
compilation of this song book of the 46th'Tactical Fighter Squadron.
THE 523rd. TACTICAL FIGHTER SQUADRON'S SOIVTG BOOK, CANNON AFB, ¥ JU
THE TIGER SONG BOOK
SPONSORED BY THE 53rd TIGERS OF THE 36th FIGHTER DAY WINO
THE ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIR FORCE
No, 79(F) SQUADRON, HBON, THAILAND, 1962-63, and 1965
THE ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIR FORCE
¥0. 77(F) SQUADRON, JAPAN AND KOREA, I95O-5I
BEER CALL BALLADS
PUBLISHED BY TEE 615th TACTICAL FIGHTER SQUADRON, ENGLAND AFB, LAo
THE SONGBOOK OF THE 50th TACTICAL FIGHTER WING, HAHN A3, GERLTA1TY
THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE SONG BOOK
COMPILED AND EDITED BY THE 27th TACTICAL FIGHTER WING, CANNON AFB, W.
"SONGS WE NEVER QUITE REMEJlBSR"
COMPILED BY THE 506th TACTICAL FIGHTER WING
SONGS JIT MOTHER TAUGHT HE, VOLUMES I AND II
ALL THE MEN, PAST AND PRESENT, OF THE UoS* AIR FORCE MD ARMY AIR CORPS
WHOs BY KEEPING THESE SONGS ALIVE, HAVE MADE THIS SONGBOOK POSSIBLE.
table of contents
song title song number
a babbling brook 13
a bomber flies at 10,000 feet 109
a lost fighter pilot 246
ace in the hole 95
after the mission's oyer 281
ain't it a bloody sha15s 98
air force 801 40
air force lament3 the 37
air force s01tg? the 11
a mm without a noiot 174
a fatt prater 76
Angeles POM-POM SONG 258
AND I LEARNED ABOUT PLYING FROM HIM 50
ANTHONY ROLT 267
ARIGATO FOR THE MEMORIES 180
ASS HOLES AHE CHEAP TODAY 160
AUR.ALEE 181
B-36? THE l^l
BALL AT KERRY JIUIR, THE 77
BALLS OF O'LEART, THE 158
BALL OF YARN 138
BANGIIT INTO-iULU 209
BARNACLE BILL THE PILOT 43
BASTARD KING OF ENGLAND, THE 159
BATTLE HUE: 183
BESIDE A KOREAN WATERFALL 31
BLACKBIRDS 101
BLESS 'EM ALL 68
BLOOD ON YOUR TUNIC 65
BLOODY GREAT KIDNEY WIPER, THE 28
BLOODY GREAT WHEEL, THE 11
BLOODY SPARROW, TEE 255
BOOZIN1 BUDDIES 58
BRING THAT BASE LEG IN 282
BRITISH GRENADIERS 251
BROWNs BROWN
4
BUDDY 169
BYE-BYE BLACKBIRD I87
CAMEL, THE 90
CANDLE SONG? THE 179
CATS ON THE ROOF TOP 92
CATS ON THE ROOF TOP (JOHN PEEL) 257
CHEETAS, THE 177
CHICKEN SONG, THE 48
CHI TOSS BLUES 69
CLOYIS 239
COCAINE SUE 171
COED AND THE CADET, THE 173
COLD WINTERS E7ENING 18
i
COLONEL'S LATENT, THE 245
COKE ON AND JOIN THE i.IR FORCE 44
CONNIE'S LiilETT 211
COOL 213
CO-PILOT'S LAKENT 57
COWBOY'S LaKEITT 290
CREEPING .hjTD BAILING 220
CONGO SONG 72
DAISY 264
DAIDT DUIl'T, THE 265
dark *td dhs^jt 3yes 277
dear old dad 261
DINAH 2p9
DIRTY L1L 102
DOODLE-LEE-OOO 137
DOTTN 13, The VALLEY 24?
DO YOU KHCN NT SISTER TILLY I76
DO YOUR BALLS HaNG LON 205
DRINKING REIT ;JmJ) COCA COLA 232
DRINKING SONG, THE 243
DRUNK 193
EARLY aBORT 99
EIGHT BUCKS A DAY 115
F~84 PILOT'S BiTTLE CRY 275
FAIRCRTLD ABORTIOIN THE 100
FALSIES IL BR_i5SIERS 143
FAPJ3WELL TO ijJTIw UNIVERSITY 61
FATHER'S GRAVE 35
FIGHTER PILOIS 106
FIGHTIN' 68-bii; THE 127
FLAK IN THE NIGHT 125
FL^£ SHOWERS 36
FOGGY FOGGY DETT 291
FORESKIN FUGITIVES 156
F0RI!AIION3 THE 118
POUR BASTARDS? THE 292
FRIGGIN IN THE RIGGI17 144
FUNICULI FUNICULi, 197
GIVE X3 OPERATIONS 24
GLORIOUS 192
GOING HOME 163
GOOD OLD riOUNTAIII DEN 64
"G" SUITS AND PARACHUTES 112
HAIL, YCU EIGHTH! PILOTS 117
HAERY CHESTED EIGHTY SIX, THE 225
EARRIGAN 194
HAVE YOU TRIED YESSUP 21
HERSTS TO 223
HERB'S TO THE NEAT M.JT TO DIE 283
HERE'S TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE 54
HINKY DI 216
ii
HOG JBIVHR 289
HONEY 170
HORSE SHIT 202
HUMORESQOE . 221
HUTCHES BALLlRD 71
I AINT GOT ¥0 USE FOR WOMEN 215
I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE NaVY 80
I WAFT 20 PLAY Pli^O IF a WHOREHOUSE 254
ICE ON THE RICE 157
IP YOU PLY 122
I LOVE A BILLBOARD 222
I LOVE MY GIRL 12
I LOVE OLD TITO OPS AFD ELYIFG SAF3TY I67
IN-FLIGHT REFUELLING 1^6
IN MOBILE 279
in tee springtii:e 210
IN THE TALL, TALL GR^SS I85
INTO THE AIR 113
INTO THE AIR? 69ors 201
INVADER, TEE 126
I SAY HER SNATCH 218
ITaZUKE OeR.I. 41
IT!S TRAGIC 200
I USED TO WORK IF CHICAGO 199
IVAN SKaVINSKI SKA7AR 14
I'VE GOT SIXPENCE 119
I WANTED WINGS 61
I WANTED WINGS (K0RE,J\t VERSION) 62
I WANT TO GO EGO 116
JOIN TEE AIR FORCE 207
KAIHUSALEK 1°3
KEYHOLE IN THE DOOR 195
KHARTOUM 248
KIMPO BLUES 23
KIKPO SONATA 153
KOREA 33
KOTSX SONG? THE 27
KUNI-RI AND i^TUNG 70
LAMENT OF TEE RESERVIST 286
LANDLORD FILL TEE FLOWING BOWL 285
LAST SATURDAY NIGHT 269
LEE'S HOOCHIE 172
LET OLE MOTHER NATURE HAVE HER WaY 237
LET'S HAVE A PARTY 227
LILLY FROM PICADILLY 142
LILI MARLENE 287
LITTLE BROWN MOUSE, TEE 45
LITTLE RED LIGHT 204
LOOK iJP 'THE B/aS ON HIM 1°5
LYDIA PTNKHAIT 145
MaCE RIDERS IF THE SKY 134
iii
liil^ OF THE IIOTFIAIF, THE 186
hap" behtpl tzz -urour ?l.utbl lesk? the 25
k/iliyifc kill, gnu 269
'UTo?u or ?at3"„ters the 273
kary xit 3ir:rs
3
MEET HE i:r KIOTO 42
KIG 15 85
MIH5IE THE 1IERMAIL 191
MISSION. TEE 96
MOOI\ SHINE 229
FONK, THE 272
HOST GHIViXROUS FISH 226
KOTHEE-HDIFH^S BXLL I89
MOTLPP OH" 130
TTT3IANGS RTH t>3 PURLIN 178
:rr jdarlijjtg 39 129
?11 FOULLY 250
FY CRiNLFATHER!S COCK 249
ilY COD HOT THE HONEY ROLLS IB" 131
KY FED HAVEN 262
111 NILL-BYEL CiiDET 114
Hi TILL IRISH POSE 284
NAPALM 49
NifUCHIY LITTLE LOG 235
NELLY LARLINO
9
NO BALLS zJJ} ALL 15
OLE TO HE B-29 121
OLE TO THE JeOeC, DUTY OPBICER 155
OPP "7E GO 46
OH IT'S BEER? BEER, BEER 152
OH JOFPNLNY 256
OH MY GOL 165
OH RIP THE FEATHERS AUAY
6
OH THE 523rd IS A VERY FIFE SQUALRON 154
OH THEY S iY THIS HIPPO'S A VERY FINE PLACE 20
OLL BEER BOTTLES 91
OLL GREEN RITFR 146
OLL GRAY BUSTLE 133
OLL NUMBER NINE 212
OLL SOLLIERS PETER LIE 86
ONCE THEY HERE HAPPY 110
ON TOP OP OLL FUJI 88
01T TOP OP OLL PYCNGYiXG 87
O'REILLY'S DAUGHTER
7
OUR OUTHOUSE 240
PALLY IIURPHY 224
TiJi TIES 30
PiilTISS, BANQUETS il^L BiiLS 16
PAS LE CAL.-IS 120
PERSIiJf KITTI 78
PHIL, LELPHIi_ LATTER 288
PILOT'S rlR/xTZi: 208
PILOT'S LiilLFT 39
PIPER L_trie 94
piss or the_________. 140
PLEASE DOF*T 3URF THE SHITHOUSE DCHH 17
POOR 3UT HOTTEST 93
POOR LITTLE ,A7GSLIFS 82
PO RIVER VALLEY, THE 66
PORTIONS OT A FOKAH? THE 270
PRETTIEST GIRL I'VE TVER SEEK:, THE I50
PRETTIEST SHI?? THE 111
PUS_OT "U" 74
RAIL CUTTERS 128
RAM3Y AIR PATCH 263
RED HOSED FIGS 89
RED SCARPS 175
REBIEKBER 242
RICKEY DZJT DOO 274
RIFG DiJZG BOO 132
RIFG THE BELL? VERGER 203
RIVER RM RED, THE 83
RIO, RIO? RIO I64
ROLLIF* DOTfF THE RUM AY 2?2
ROLL IS OVER 253
ROLL TOUR LEG OVER 149
ROTATIONAL EVE 234
RO-TIDDLE-E-E-0 25 2
RUGGED, BUT RIGHT 241
SAFE ILitfD IUJJj 52
SAGLT 10
SALOME 162
sam houstof 214
sammy small
save a fighter pilot's ass 73
seoul city sue 104
SEPBSQA 188
SHITTY TOI'F 228
SHOW ME THE T"AY TO GO HOME 168
SHIEK OF A1ABY? THE 260
SIDI SLIMLlFE SOFG, THE 236
SILVER THRE_J)S AKOFG THE GOLD 19
SIFG US AKOTHBR OFE? DO 139
SIX POUNDS OF BQ03IES 22
SIXTEEF TIIIES 198
SOFG R&R 26
SOFG OF THE 18th 124
SOFG OF THE ZULU "^JffllOfiS 60
SOUTH OF THE BORDER 231
SPANISH GUITAR 184
SPOT PROIIOTIOiT 97
SPRIFG TI>3) OF THE YiiU 88
SQUADRON SONG 63
STAND TO YOUR GLASSES 59
STAY WITrL GOD
8
SIRAFERS 84
STRAFIN* 'ROUND TIE LOUNTAIN 75
STRUST CLEANER'S SONG 230
STILES
5
TAC HEADQUARTERS 280
TACHIKAWA? YOEAEAMA, ITAZUKE 108
TASGU GIRLS 8l
TATOOBD LAD! 79
TELL MB WHY 182
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS 21?
THERE IS NOTHING LUCE SOKE 266
THEY CALLED THE B/STARD STEPHENS 278
THING ^ THE 135
THOSE WEDDING BELLS ARE BREAKING UP 136
THREE OLD MAIDS 271
THREE WHORES PROII CANADA J017CTI0N 161
THROTTLE BENDERS 293
TIE MY ROOT AROUND A TREE 219
TIP-TAJIKS AND TAILPIPES 34
TITANIC 47
TOAST TO THE BLUE ANGELS 107
TOO LONG AT ITAZUKE 123
TO THE REGULARS 56
TO THE TABLES DOTIN AT SIDI 233
TWO LADIES WERE CONFIDING 190
UNCLE JOHN AND AUNTIE I'liiBLE 29
UP THE DUFF 244
VIOLATE MS 148
VIRGIN STURGEON 206
WALTZING MATILDA 294
WE SOLD OUR COW 238
WEST VIRGINNY HILLS 141
WHEN YOUR LEAVES HAirE TURNED TO SILVER 38
WEIPFENPOOE SONG 196
WIRRAWAYS DON'T MOERY LIE 276
WRECK OP THE OLD 197 51
YOU CAN TELL A FIGHTER PILOT 32
All. PORCH SONG
1
Off we go, inxo the Find "blue yonder
Climbing high., into the sun
£ere they come zooming to meet our thunder
At Tem boys, give her The gun.
Dotjti we dive, spouting our flame from under
Off with one hell of a roar,
T'Fe live in fame, or go dorm in flame,
Nothing can stop The U, Se Air Force.
CHORUS g
HereTs a toast to the host of those who love
'The vas tne s s, • f the sk y ,
To a friend we send a message of
Eis "brother men who fly,
Fe drink to those who gave their all of old,
Then down we roar to score the rainbow's pot of grid*
Herers a toast; to the host of the men we boasts
The TToSa Air force*
Hinds of men fashioned a crate of thunder,
Sent it high into the blue - )
Hands of men' blasted the world asunder?
How they lived? God only know I
Souls of men dreaming of skies to conquer
Gave us wings over to soar.
Tfith scouts before and bomhers galore,
Nothing can stop The U.S. Air Force.
Off we go into the blue sky yonder.
Keep .your wings level and True .
If you'd live to be a gray-haired wonder,
Kee'p your nose out of The blue I
Plying men guarding our nationTs borders,
Tie1!! be there followed by more •
In echelon we carry on,
Nothing can step the TJ0S, Air Force I
SAIulII SMALL
2
Oh my name is Sammy Small fuck em all
Oh my name is Sammy Small fuck em all
Oh my name is Sammy Small and I've only got. one ball
But it's better than none aT all— fuck"* em-all.
They say I've killed a man, fuck em all
They say I've killed a man, fucic en all
I hit him in the head «ith a fucking piece of lead
Now the silly fuckers dead - fuck em all.
They say I've got to siring, fuck em all
They say I've goT to s"ing7 fuck em all
They say I've got to swing from a fucking piece of string
Fhat a silly fucking thing - fuck em alio
1
SAhlli SI-ULJj (Cont.)
The parson he Till come? fuck em all
The parson he will come? fuck en all
The parson he "ill come with his tales of kingdom cone
Fe can shove ep ap his "bung - fuck em all.
The hangman years a mask? fuck em all
The hangman wears a mask? fuck em all
The nangman wears a mask for his silly fucking task
What; a sillv fucking ass — fuck em alio
The sheriff Fill "be biases boo? fuck e^ all
The sheriff will he Jhere too? fuck e"~ all
The sherxif -»-ill be chsre boo with his sally fjoking crew
They viave f ick all else to do - fvcxz em all „
I saw Kolly in the c eowr19 fuck em all
1 caw T%)ily in tne crown? fuck em all
I saw Molly m the cro"^d and I felt so fucking proud
That I shouted right our loud - PUCK "EM ALL»
hart atjit burjss
3
Hary Ann Burns was the queen of all the acrobats
She could do the tricks thac would give a cat the shits
She could roll green peas from her fundamental orifice
Do a double sommersault and catch them on her tits
A great big son-of-a-bitch twice as big as me
Hair around her ass like the branches on a tree
She can swim? fishy fight9 fuck
Roll a barrel, drive a truck
Ilary Ann Burns is the girl for me. (Try bloody ass)
BPuO'v^T BROW 7 4
(Tune? Swee b Betsy From Pike)
There was a young maiden named Adeline Schmidt
Sho went to ths. doo bor cause she couldn't snit
Ho gave nor so.ro medicine wrapped up in glass
Up went the window and ~-a% re at her ass o
Chorus s
It was brown brown shit falling down
Brown brown shit all around
It was brown brown shit falling down
Covered all over with shit
A handsome young copper was walking his beat
He happened to be on that side of the street
lie looked up so bashful he loaned up so shy
"hen a piece of brown shit hit him right in the eye. (Cont.)
2
BROWjtf BROW (Cont.)
This handsome young copper he cussed end he swore
He called that young maiden a dirty old whore
And on Brooklyn "bridge you can still see him sit
tilth a sign round his neck sayingy "Blinded "by shit".
It was brown brown shi c falling down
Brown brown shit all around
It was brown "brown shit; falling down
His life i-c was ruined "by shit,
S TILSS (Tune-Snile s)
5
There ax<=- styles That snow the ankle
There are styles "that show the knee
There are sxyles that have the "boys all wond!ring
•Just what xhe girls are gonna let us see.
There are styles that have a tender ireaning
That the eyes of men alone can see
But the style that Eve wore in the garden
Is the style that appeals to me.
OH RIP THE FEATHERS ATTAY
6
Oh rip the feathers a^ay away
Oh rip the feathers away
Oh the ass of a duck
ITakes a wonderful fuck
If you. rip the feathers away.
O'REILLEY'S DAUGHTER
7
As I was sitting at 0*Reilleys "bar
Listening to tales of "blood and slaughter
Came a thought into my mind
Why not shag O'Reilleys daughter
Chorus s
Piddley-I-E Fiddley-I-0
Fiddley-I-E for the one hailed Reilly
Rig~A-JIg-Jig Shag Balls and all
Rubby dub dub shag on.
I grabbed thax she bitch by the ass
Then I threw my left log over
Shagged and shagged and shagged some more
Shagged and shagged till the fun was over.
Chorus s
There cane a knock upon -ay door
~fTho should It be but her ^od-dann Father
T^o horse pistols ~y 'its sid-
Looking for The gay he si-gg-d his da-.gh.Ter (Cont)
3
O'KZILLEY'S DAUGHTER (COJT1)
Clio rus i
I grabbed that bastard by the hair
Shoved his head in a pail of wator
Shoved those pistols up his ass
A damn sight farther than I shagged his daughter.
Chorusi
jfow as I go "walking down the street
People shout fron every corner
There goes the dirty son of a bitch
The one who shagged OrReillys daughter,
8
STAT ~<ilT£ GOD (Tune - Dashing through the snow
The game was played on Sunday in Heavens own back yard
"With Jesus pisying quarterback and Tloses playing guard
The angels in the bleachers my god how they did yell
Tfhen Jesus made a touchdown against the boys from hell.
Choruss (Tune - 0h; Them Golden Slippers)
Stay with God? oh lordyy stay with God? oh lordy
Jeauo on the one yard line? Moses doin very fine
Stay with God? oh lordy? stay with God? oh lordy
Hoke em9 soke em, Jesus poke em? stay with God*
NELLY DARLING (Tune - Nelly Darling) 9
Oh your ass is like a stovepipe lelly darling
And the nipples on your tits are turning green
Therefs an odor of blue ointment round your pussy
Tou're the ugliest fucking bitch I've ever see*
There's a yard of lint protruding from your navel
And when you piss you piss a stream as green as grass
There's enough ^ax in your ears to make a candle
So kindly make one dear and shove it up your ass.
SALLT 10
Sally's in the allejr sifting cinders
Lifted up her leg and farted like a man
¥ind from her bloomers broke six winders
Cheeks of her ass went BAM BAl-T 3M.
TEE BLOODY GREAT FHEEL 11
An airman told me before he died
(And I don't think that the bastard lied)
He had a wife ■with a cunt so wide
That she could never bo satisfied,, (Cont*,
133 BLOODY GREAT YH33L (Cont.)
So he fashioned "a prick of steel
And attached it to a bloody great wheel
Two halls of brass filled with ore an
And the whole fucking issue we3 run by stearic
"Hell, 'round and *round went the bloody great wheel
In and out went the big prick of steel
Until at last the maiden cried,
"Enough, enough; I'm satisfied,"
But now we come to The bitter bit
There was no way of stopping it
It split} that bitch fro*?, cunt to tit
And xhe whole fucking issue went up in shit
J LOYF KY GIRL 12
I love my girl yes 1 0.0 dee3 I do
I love her truly
I love the hole that she pisses through
I love her ruby red lips5 her lilt white tits
And the hair around her ass _iole
I'd eat her shit gobble slrrp slurp
Tilth a wooden spoon
A BABBLING BROOK 13
A babbling brook, a shaddy nock? a girl all dressed in yellow
Two snow white tits, two rubby lips, ch you lucky fellow
Between the hours of two and four when he began to linger
She said, "Young men if you are through, I'll finish with my finger„"
So he got up and took a piss, and she got up and farted
He wiped his jock upon her sock, and that is how they parted
line days went by, he heaved a sigh, a sigh of pain.and sorrow
The pimples pink were on his dink and there rll be more tomorrow
ITIne monthes went by and she heaved a sigh, a sigh of pain and sorrow
Two little mutts were in her guts but they'll be out tomorrow.
IYM SKAVTI\TSKI SEAYAR 14
Oh the harems of Egypt are fair to behold
And the maidens the fairest of fair
The fairest, a Greek, was owned by the shiek
One Abdul Abbuldul inner
A traveling brothel was brought into town
By a Russian who came from afar
And a challenge went wide, as to who could outride
Count Ivan Skavinske Skavar.
Ifow Abdiii rode by with his hand on his fly
And his bails hanging low with desire
And he wsgered a million that he could outride
Count Ivan Skavinski Skevar
So this spectacle groat res all s°t for a date
Iras to o" referee;? T zhs Czar
And the streets were all I in 3d to se° harlots entwined
filth Abdul e.zd Ivei Shavir (Con't",
T7s3 dK.^YIFSEI SKAVAR (Cont)
They met at the track with their tools hanging slack
And the starter.? gun punctured, the air
They were quick on the rise, people gasped at the size
Of Ivan Skavinski Skavar
The cunts were all shorn and no rubbers were worn
And Abdul revved up like a car
But he hadn't a hope 'gainst the long greasy stroke
Of Ivan Skavinski Skavar„
Fow when Ivan had iron and was cleaning his gun
He "bent down to pick up his pair
When something rod hot, up his rear track was shot
And AbdisL the "bastard was there,
Then the harlots all screamed and the people yelled rtQueenlM
They were ordered apart by the Czar
But so fast were they stuck, it was fucking D?d luck
For Abdul and Ivan Skavar
The cream of the joke cane when finally they broke
It was laughed at for years by the Czar
For Abdul, the fool, had left half of his tool
In Ivan Skavinski Skavar,
10 BALLS AT ALL 15
There once was a girl named Sara McFox
"With hair on her chest and cheese In her box
She married a man named Patrick KicCall
With a vaxy short peter and no balls at all
Chorusi
What? no balls at all?
No balls at all«
A very short peter and no balls at all,
The very first night these two lovers were wed
They took off their clothes and. went straight up to bed
She reached for his pecker, it was very small
She reached for his balls he had no balls at all •
low mother dear mother oh what shall I do?
I've married a man who never can screw
I reached for his pecker. It was very small
I reached for his balls, he had no balls at all*
Oh daughter dear daughter now don't be so sad
It was the same trouble 1 had with your dad
But there's manyy a man who will come to the call
Of the wife of a nan who has no balls at all
(Con't)
6
NO BALLS AT ILL (Cont)
The daughter went home, took hex mothers advice,
And found the results most exceedingly nice.
A bouncing young baby was horn in the fall
To the wife of the man who had no balls at all,
PARTIES, BANQUETS AND BILLS 16
(Tune-Take me out to the ballgane)
Parties banquets and balls boys
Parties banquets and balls
As president Hoover once said before
The only one ?fay Tie can stay out of a war
!Is with parties banquets and bells boys
Parties banquets end balls
¥e!ll have parties and banquets and
Banquets and parties
and Balls 5 Balls5 Balls
PLEASE DONT BORN THE SHITHOUSE DOW 17
Please don't burn the shithouse down
Mother has promised to pay
Mother is drunk, father's in jail
Sister's in a family way
Brother dear is mighty queer
Tines are fucking hard
So please don't burn the shithouse down
Or we'll all have to shit in the yard,
COLD WINTER'S EVENING 18
rTwas a cold winter's evening, the guests were all leaving
O'Leary was closing the bar, When he turned and snid to the lady in red,
Get outI You can't stay where you are«
She shed a sad tear in her bucket of beer, As she though of the cold
night aheado
When a gentleman dapper stepped out of the crapper,
And these are the words that he Scids
Her mother never told her the things a young girl should know
About the ways of Fighter Jocks and how they come and go.
Age has taken her beauty, and life has left its sad scar
So remember your mothers and sisters boys and let her sleep under the bar„
SILVER THREADS iJIONG THE GOLD 19
Darling let me fix your garter
Just an inch above your knee
And if I should wander farther
Please don't blame it all on me *
The hair around your pussy's turning silver
The hair around my cock is turning gold
So let's put our two things Togexher
Silver threads eno.ig the gold* ICont;
7
SILVER THREADS AMONG THE GOLD (Cont.)
So she let ne fix her garter
Just an inch. a"bove iier knee
And my hand did "wander farther
And she pissed all over me.
OH THEY SAY THAT THIS KIHPOrS A WONDERFUL PLACE 20
Oh they say that this Kimpo's a wonderful place
But the organizations a fucking disgrace
There*s Captains and Major's and light Colonels too
¥ith their hands in their pookets and fuck all to do
They stand on the ranp and they rave and they shout
And for all of their good they might just ps ;rell "be
A shoveling shit on the Isle of Capri.,
HATE YOU TRIED YESSUP? 21
Have you tried Yessup
The best "breakfast in the land
Have you tried Yessup
The "best "breakfast food in the land
Delicious 5 nutritious ? the whole day through
Jack Hard—On never tires of it? and neither will you
Oh have you tried Yes sup,
The "best "breakfast food in the lend.
Yes sup-Spelled "backwards is Pussy
Spelled sideways is Slur-Slurp
,SIX POTTOS OP BOOBIES 22
Six pounds of hoodies In a loose brassier
An old used condrun is a glass of beer
A twat that twitches like a raooses ear
These are the things I love.
A dirty whore strolling down the street
A bloody Kotex in the runbleseat
I love my poontang but I^beat my neat
'These are the things I love.
KIEPO BLUES 23
(Tune, A Little Bit of Heaven Felly etc)
Oh a little bit of shit fell down
Out of the sky one day
And it landed in the Chosen
Oh so very far away.
And when the Senate saw it
It looked so fucking bare
They said thatrs what we're looking for
Ife'll send our Air Force there* (Conft)
8
KIT IPO BLUBS (Cont.)
So they sent their n36,s"
Air Base Group and mo dies too
And they sent The dreaded 336tl"
They knew just what bo do*
And now you111 find them languished
In a place that's sc remote
That all you'll hear those "bastards shout's
"Where are the so fucking "boats"
Chorus %
I'ire goi> those Kinpo Blues 9
Kimchi "blues
I'm fed up
_4nd I'm fucked up
And 1 !n blue »
We tried to pleaso old Sygman
But it really was a farce
The only thing twa-s left to do
Was shove it up his arse.
Chorus %
Oh Tre found our Urn a Kater
In a house in Tong Dong Po
The brass got there hefore us
They showed us There lo go
GIVE ME OPERATIONS 24
Don't give me a ?~38? the -provs they counter-rotate
They've scattered end smitten from Burma to Britain
Don't give me a P-38.
Chorus g
Just give me operations
Way out on some lonly atoll
For I an too young to die
I just want to grow old0
Don't give ne a ?-39
The endine is mounted "behind
They'll tumble and spin and auger you in
Don't give me a P-39
Don't give me a peter four oh7 a hell of an airplane I know
A gound loopin bastard? you're sure to get plastered
Don't give me a peter four oh*
Don't give me en old thunderbolt9 it gwe many a pilot a jolt
It looks like a jng and it flies like a tug
Dou!t give me an old. Thunderbolt* ,„ t,
& (Con'tj
9
GIVE KB OPERATIONS (Cont.)
Don't give ne a P-51? It was alright for fighting the Iron
But with coolant tank dry? you'll fall out of sky
Don't give me a P-f>l«
Don't give me a P-61, for night living is no fun
They say it's a lark, but I'd scared of the dark
Don't give ne a P-61»
Don't give ne a jet shooting star? it'll go5 but not very far
Itrll rumble and spout? but scon Kill flame out
Don't^give ne a jet shooting star,,
Don't give re an E-~845 she's just a gound loving whore
She'll whine noan and wheeze and she'll clobber the trees
Donf t give ne an jf—84 *
Don't give ne an F86? ""ith wings like broken natch sticks
They'll zoon and they'll hover? but as for top cover
Don't give ne an F-86»
Don't give ne an 86~D; with rockets? radar and A/D
She's fast I don't care? she blows up in nid-air
Don't give ne an 86-Dt,
Don't give na an F~89j Tho TIKE says they'll really clinb
They're all in the states? all boxed up in crates
Don't give ne an F-89»
Don't give na an P-94? it's never established a score
It may fly in weather? but won't hold, together
Don't give me an F-94«
Don't give ne a C-45? so slow it stalls out in a dive
A gound loop built In it5 and bird colonels in it
Don' t give me a C-45 °
Don't give ne a 054? sl^ inches of rugs on the floor
And we'll go fat-cat*n, fron here to Manhattan
Don't give ne a C-54•
Don't give ne a B-45? the pilots don't get back alive
Hie Mig 15!s chase en? they soon will erase en
Don't give me a 3-45 *
Don't give me a one-double - 0, The bastard is ready to blow
The A/B is there? bat you're saying a prayer
Don't give ne a one-double-0.
Don't give ne an ?-102? it never goes up when its blue
An all weather ooffin, that flanes out so often
Don't give ne an F-102, (Cont)
10
im t"h] o?"teuzccfs (con't)
Don't give ne an F-101, a r~t-race in her is no fun.
"Tien you're trjmg to Tm, ex 4 G's she digs m.
Don't give ne an F—lOl«
Don't give ne an F-10£? xncugh oho'11 do ilac^ 2 d'z full "bore,
f'rith those short, sxubby wings she can't carry a -tiling.
Don't give ro an F-IO4 »
Don't give re an J-lO^j in' that; big hog guys don't stay alive.
And you'll knew you Jvs "be 01 diddled wnen she braks in the riddle*
Don't give ne en J-105*
Don't givo ro 0 big F-^Cj "ith two engines, b To soots*, cro ,J3s,
In e dog-figut yor'rs done (radar nissilcs, no gun) e
Don'x give ne a Dig F~-JC«
TFFj I'M BEEIED THE AKMOH PLATED DD&X. 25
(Tune - Strip Polka)
Early in the norning when The engines start to roar
You can see the old goat standing, "beside his office door
"o'll he sweaxng ojt the take-^ff, he's ofxen done hofoie
Ti.e ran oshmd the error plated desk0
Four tines he's led us up tnere , end he always led up back
For he circled o'er Lac I»P., es we went in xo axtack
rle said, "I'r" iierO "o t fair hoys, hut ollergic xo act ack''
The nan henind tne ar-^or pi 0 to a desk*.
And ?:hen the xarget!s sighted,- who inspires xhe atxack
vho sa^s hundreds A e?j go in lads, hut a few aren't coning hack
TTho says ~Te'il disregard xhe nminun, when you supress xlie flak
The men b^h-md the ernor plaxed desk „
And when the missions over, end hriefing they slould. be
You can search the T"hole field ever, but not a pilox will you see
For they'll all be ax the 0 Club, with a nixed drink 111 their hand
Singing The Han Behind the i^rnor Plated Desk-,
S05G OF R ±Z*D P 26
(Tune - Foonlighx on the 7ebash)
T'vhen the ice is on the rice in old Chitose
And the Saki in the cellar sxarxs xo freeze
I don't want to see ri" wife in San Francisco
-I just want to see ^y little Nipponese
K0T3X 50I~G 27
(Tunes Ccisons Go Rolling xJong)
You can xell by the sroll xnat sne isn't feeling wsll?
"Then the end of the ixonth rolls around,
How sb^ turns, nc"^ s-c souirns, "ow she gets a case of worns,
nan xhe ^id cf t-^ o xh roils rr-md0 (Cont)
11
KOTEX SOJCt (Confc)
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Super I Juniori - Band aid*
For where ere you go,
The blood will always flow,
Tfhen the end of the nonth roils around,
Keep r en bleedin' when the end. of the month rolls around.
THE 3L00DT GREAT KIMEY WIPER 28
The lady of the mansion, was dressing for the hall when she espied a
tinker, pissing up against the wall.
CHORUS s
With his "bloody great kidney triper and halls as "big as three and a
yard and a half of foreskin hanging down "below his knee,
The lady wrote a letter and in it she did say,
I'd rather be fucked by the tinker than my husband anydaye
Oh the tinker got the letter and when it he did read
His balls slung o'er his shoulder and his penis by his side*
Oh, he rode up to the mansion, her rode up to the hall,
Gor' Blyme? said the butler he has come to fuck us alle
Oh, he fucked them in the parlor, he fucked them on the beds,
Lord save us I Cried the chambermaids, We've lost our maidenheads,
Oh, he fucked the Duchess standing, he fucked her against the wall,
But when he fucked, the butler 'twas the dirtiest trick of all.
Oh, he rode out from, the mansion, he rode into the street,
With little drops of semen pattering at his feet.
Oh, the tinker's dead and buried, I'll bet he's gone to hell
He said he'd fuck the devil and I'll bet he's done It well•
UNCLE JOEE & /xUM'IE TdJEEL 29
(Time - Hark the Herald ingels Sing)
Uncle John & iiuntie Mabel, fainted at the breakfast table,
This should be sufficient warning, never do it In the morning.
Oval teen has set them right, now they do it every night,
Uncle John is hoping soon, to rip rone off in the afternoon,
Uncle John hoping soon to rip one off in the afternoon•
PxiRTISS 30
Oil, parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
So, let's have a party (Con't)
12
PARTIES (Con't)
We're never toe busy to 3 ay hello
We're never too busy to say hello
We 're never too "busy to say hollo
HELLO - HELLO - HELLO
BESIDE A KORSAF WATERFALL 31
Beside a Korean raterfall, one bright and sunny day
Beside his shattered Sabre oets a young pur suiter lay
His parachute hung from a nearby tree, he was not yet quite dead
So listen to the very last words this young pur suiter saido
I1!!! going to a better lano. where everything is bright
Where "whiskey floors fron telephone poles
Play poker ever3, night „
We haven't got a thing to do? but sit around and. sing
And all our crews are women, oh death where is thy sting
Oh death where is ohy sting, ti^Lg-^-ling
Oh death if he re is thy sting
The bells of Hell Trill ring, ting-a-ling
For you but not for me
Oh, ting-a~iing ling? "blow it out your ass
Ting—a—ling-a-ling ling, blo»r it out your ass
Ting-a-ling-a-ling ling, blow it out your ass
Better days are coming bye and bye °
YOU Ci-iT TELL A FIGHTER PILOT 32
(Tune - iline Eyes Have Seen the Glory)
By the ring around his eyeball
Tou can tell a bombardier
You can tell a bomber pilot
By the spread around his rear
You can tell a navigator
By his sextants9 maps, and such
You can tell a fighter jockey
BUT YOU CAH'T TELL HIE KUCE
KOREA 33
(Tune - IJm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I Tm looking over a well fought over
Korea that I abhor
One for the money
And two for the show
Ridgeway said stay
But we wan4", to go.
There's no use explaining
Why we're remaining
We got what we were fighting for
KOREA5 KOREA and diarhea
To make the rice grow some more»
"i 1
TI7TAFK3 AK) TAILPIPES ( THE WALL) 34
(Tune - Bless them All)
Bless them all, "bless them all
Bless tiptanks and tailpipes and all
Bless old man Lockheed for "building this jet
But I know a guy who is cussing him yet
Cause he tried to go over the wall
With tiptanks and tailpipes and all
The needles did cross,, and the wings did come off
Ifith tiptanks and tailpipes and all.
Through the wall, throi'gh the wall
Through the "bloody invisible Trail
That transsonic journey is nothing but rough
As bad as a ride on the local base base bus
So Ifm staying awa^ fron the wall
Subsonic for ne and that's all
If you're hot you might make it
But you'll probably break it /
Tour butt and your neck, not the wall.
FATHERS GRAYS 35
(Tune - Piccadilly Underground)
Oh they're digging up fathers grave to build a sewer
And they're going at the job at no expense
They're disturbing his remains, to make way for outhouse drains
To satisfy some brand new resident, Gor Blimey
How father in his day was never a quitter
And I don't suppose he'll be a quitter now
He'll dress up in white sheets, and haunt those outhouse seats
And no one there will sit but he allows, Gor Blimey
How won't there be some bloody constipation
And won't those bloody bastards rant and rave
Which is more than they deserve, for having the bloody nerve
To bugger about with a British workmans grave o
FLAK SHOWERS 36
(Tune - April Showers)
Although Flak showers, may come your way
They'll bring the panic, that makes you say
My fuel is Josephine, Irm going home
So if you want to stay and fight, you may
Stay and fight alone*
I've added throttle, I'm on my way
I'll live to come back some other day
So keep on strafing that position
And knock it out for me
I'm just a close supporter, can't you see
14
Tb_I! All. FORCE LA1IEFT 37
(Tune - The B?ttle Hymn of the Republic)
Mine eyes b^ve seen the drye of men who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts 'liat laughed at death? who lived for nothing "but to fly
But now those no art 3 are greund.ed_? and those days are long gone hy
The Air Force's gone to hell I
Chorus? Glory flying regulations, have then r-*9d at •yvery; station
Crucify tr_e man rho creaks theraf the Air Force's gone to hell!
My hones have felt their pounding throb? a hundred thousand strong
A mights?- air "borne legion set bo right the deadly wrong
But now it's only memory£ it only lives in song.
The Air Force's gone to hell I
I have seen then in their thimderholbs? their eyes were dancing flame
I've seen their sore airing po~er d_ivoss that blcsted Goering's nane
But now they fly like sissies and they hang tneir no ads in shane
Their spirit's shot to hell I
They flew their rugged mustangs through a living hell of flak
And "bloody dying pilots ? gave their lives to bring them hack
But no" they all plan ping pong in tihe operations shack
Their technique's gone to hexII
The lordly flying fortress and the liberator too
Once "wrote the doom of Germany? with contrails in the blue
But now the skies are empty? and our planes are wet with dew
And we can't fly for hell I
Tou heard your pounding 50's blaze from wings of polished steel
The purring of your Jlerlin ras a song your heart could feel
But now the L-5 cnarms you wish Its no an in 9 groan in squeal
And it won't climb for nelll
Have you ever'cjuiai ad v lightning up to where the air lis rthin
Have you stuck her long noso downward,; just to hear the screaming din
Have you tried to do it lately., better not-you'll auger in.
And then you'll sure catch hell I
Hap Arnold built a fighting team that sang a fighting song
About the wild blue yonder in the days when men were strong
But now we're closely supervised for fear we may do wrong
The Mr Force's gone to hell I
¥e were cocky bold and happy when we played the angel's game
¥e split the blue with buzzing9 and we rolled our way to fane
But now that's all verboten and. we're all so goddamn tane
Our spirits' shot to hell I
One day I buzzed an airfield with another reckless chap
¥e flew a hot formation with his wingtip in my lap
But there's a new directive rnd we'll have no more of that
Or you will burr, in hell I
Mine eyes get dim with tears when I recall the days of old
¥hen pilots took their choice of being old or young and. bold
Alas I h-73 no ohoioe and will live ~zi be quite old
The Air Force's gone to lie 111 (Con't)
15
'THE AIR FORCE LAI!EI7I (Con* *:)
Tut smile awhile my pilots though, your eyes may still "be wet
Someday we'll meet in heaven where the rules have not heen set
And God will shew us how to buzz and roll and really let -
The Air Force fly like hell!
Chorus ?
Glory no more regulations? rip them down at every station
Ground the guy that tries to make one and let us fly like hell.
TCHEF TOTR LEAYES HAYS TURFED TO SILVER 38
(Time - Silver Threads among the Gold)
"Jhen your leaves have Turned to silver
Kill you. love us just the same
Ohj, we* 11 always call you
x
Isn!t it a bloody shaixie«
To the days at Itazuke
And the parties that ~re knew
"When your leaves have turned to silver
You. can stick them up your flue.
PILOTS LAL7EMT 39
(Tune - If I had the T-fings of an -Angel)
ITow listen all you pilots and you airmen
We will tell you a story sad but true
Of many who wear wings but are not happy
Gather round while we sing this song to you.
The many who wear wings but are not happy
Wear* a smile on their lips-, not in their hearts
They're overjoyed to wear the badge of an airman
But are sad in getting off to such bad starts.
A reason there must be for discontentment
T!hy the gloom as dark as any blacked out loop
Just ask them one and all and they will tell yru
I!m not a member of the 312th Fighter Group.
AIR FORGE 801 40
(Tune - Wabash Cannonball)
Listen to the rumble9 and hear old Merlin roar
Irn flying over Moji? like I never flew before
Hear the mighty rush of The slipsTream9 and hear old Ilerlin mean
I!ll wait a bit and say a prayer 5 and hope it gets me hone,
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I'm turning on the downwind leg? my prop has overrun
My cool ant fs overheated*, the gauge says 1-2-1
Tou.!d beTter get the crash crew, and get them on the run.
(Con't)
16
AIR FORCE 801 (Con't)
Air Force 801 this is Itazuke tower
I cannot call the crash crew, this is their coffee hour
You're not cleared in the pattern, now that is plain to see
So take it on around again, we have some TIP's
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I'm turning on the downwind leg, I see your biscuit gun
My engine's runnin ragged, and the coolant's gonna blow
Ir:a gonna prang a Mustang, sollook- out' down -below,
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
Irm turning on the final, and running on one lung
I'm gonna l?nd this J justang no matter what you say
ITve gotta get my chares fized up, before that juogemenc day,
Air Force 801, this is judgement day
You.!re in pilots heaven, and you are hero to stay
You, just bought a Mustang, and you bought it well
1213 famous Air Force 801 was sent straight down to hell*
ITAZUKE ORG? 41
(Tune ~ When you wore a tulip)
When you flew a Mustang, and. I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke 03 T
Other pilots went to briefing
We stayed in the sack a1 sleeping
Hotter stones you'll never see
We were hotter than tabasco, when group pulled each fiasco
We excelled in proficiency
When you flew a mustang, and I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke ORT,
MEET ME III KYOTO 42
(Tune - Meet Me In St. Louis)
Meet me in Kyoto, Moto
Meet me at the shrine
Take your shoes off when you enter
Or you'll pay a fine
We will have some sukiyaki
Then we'll have a cup of saki
If you'll meet me in Kyoto, Moto
Meet me at the shrine.
BARllACLE BILL THE PILOT 43
(Tune - Barnacle Bill the Sailor)
The air Corps is the life for me, said Barnacle Bill, .the Sailor
I111 jump my ship and leave the sea and be an aviator
I'll fly so high I'll reach the sky, gravitation I'll defy
I'll make the people moan and cry, said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor,,
Pretty soon you'll lose that grin, pretty soon you'll loose u
that grin
Prett3r scon you'll lose that grin, saiditho fair young.maiden
17 (Con't)
3iiR!fACL3 BILL THE PILOT1 (Con't)
I'm rough and tough, I know ay stuff, said Bill, the Aviator
I'll fly this ship till I've had enough, said Bill, the Aviator
I know a strut, I knoTr b fin, I know a barrel roll and a spin
I know a prop, I know a knick, end I ±aiow an elevator.
You're out of gas and mis fc go do-.7n, you're out of gas and must
go down
You1 re out of gas and must go down, wailed the fair young maiden
I'm a cokeysd Finn if I'll give in, roared Bill the Aviator
IJ11 fight this ship with a flyer's grin, roared Bill, the Aviator
He kicked the bar and pulled the stick, which didn't seen to do the
trick
And he hit the gound like a tv,n of "brick, poor Barnacle Bill, tb=> Sailor.
Here's some flowers for his grave, here's sore flower for his grave
Hero's some flowers for his grave, sobbed the fair young maiden
COIIE ,017 &KD JOUST THE AIR FORCE 44
(Tunes Eamblin' "reek From Georgia Tech)
Come on and join the Air Force, we're a happy band they say
Tie never do a lick of ?rork, just fly around all day
"While others work and study hard, and soon grow old and blind
Tferll take to the air without a care, and you will never mind.
Chorus s
You„rll never mind, you111 never mind
Oh.j come and join the Air Force
And you will never mind*
Come on and get promoted just as high as you desire
YouTre riding on a gravy train when you're er. Air Force flyer
But just when you're about to be a general you'll find
The engine coughs the wings fall off, and you will never mind.
One day you'll loop and spin her and with an awful tear
You find yourself without ypvx wings but you will never care
For in about two minutes more another pair you'll find
You'll fly with Pete and his angels sweet, but you will never mind.
Yourre flying over the ocean when you hear your engine spit
You see your prop come to a step, The god damn engine's quit
The ship won't float, you cannot swim, the shore is miles behind
Oh., what a dish for the crabs and fish, but you will never mind,
I fly up to Yalu, in my F~86
And here's one thing that 3rou can send to Congress in your TUX
I*ve only got one engine, Jack, and if the at bastard quits
It will be up there all by itself, cause I will shit and. gitc
Oh, we're just a bunch of Air Force lads, and we don't give a damn
About the groundling's point of view and all that sort of ham
~'Te want a hundred thousand ships of each and every kind
.find now we fve got our own Air Force, so we will never- ^indo
lCcn?i)
1C
C0II3 01? AffD JOTS THE AIR FORCE (Con't)
Fow we're the operations bunch, and we don't give a damn
About those paper shufflin types, with heads just like a ham,
Fe want a nundred planes or so, all read;y on the line
And they can pad those swivel chairs, and we will never mind
Ohy come and get jour "brassy rank as high as you desire
You're riding on a gravy train, when youfre in the Admin1 mire
The ones and fours have room for more, or so they always find
ITith noses in place, we don^T mean on the face, you will never mind.
THE LITTLE BR0TfI\r HOUSE 45
OH the liquor was srill-^d on the "bar-room floor
The Bar was closed for the night
When out of his hole came a little Brown Mouse
And he sat in the pale moonlight
He lapped up the liquor on the har-roon floor
As "back on his haunches he sat
/
And all night long you could hear him roar
"Bring rn your goddann cat!"
OPE TfS GO 46
(Tune - USAF Song)
Back we come, off of a one _iour test hop
From over the land and over the sea
For this feat we get a, raise in rank
Ten days leave, and a DFCc
Heroes all, as you can judge by medals
Got a lot, and we'll get some more
Tie1 re out to conquer, and we will
For nothing can step the IToSo Air Force
TITAHIC ^ 47
0h? they "built the ship Titanic, and when they had it through
The thought they had a ship, thax the water would never come through
But the Lork Almighty1 s hand, said the ship would never land
It was sad when that great ship went down*
Chorus i
Oh it was sad, Oh it was sad
It was sad when -chat great ship went domi
To the "boxtorn* of the —
Hus"bands and wives, little hittie children lost their lives
It was sad when that great ship went down,
T'was on a Tuesday morn, they were nearing Englands shore
And the rich refused, to associate with the poor
So they put the poor "below where they were the first to go
It was sad when thai} great ship went down. (Con't)
19
TITACTIC (Con't)
They were nearing Snglands shore and were heading for the dock
When the old ship Titanic "began to reel and rock
Oh the captain tried to wire hut tne wire was on fire
It was sad when that great snip went down*
Then the ship began to list, and the lights began to flicker
And a drunk cried out? ny God where is my likker
So they brought out the bottle and they passed it all around
It was sad when that great ship went down.
They swung the lifeboats out? o'er the dark and stormy sea
Ind the band sTruck up Tith Fearer liy G-rd to Thee
Little children wept -lid cried as the waves s"w?pt o 'e^ th=> si^°
It was sad when that great ship went down.
CHICKM SONG 48
Tfe had some chickenss no eggs would they lay
>Ie had some chickens5 no eggs would they lay
liy wife said? honey? Itts striking funny
We're losing 'money 9 no eggs would they lay
On day the rooster flew Into the yard
ind caught the poor chickens completely off guard
They're laying eggs now? Just like they used to
Ever since that rooster5 flew into the yard
Th.ey*Te laying eggs now? just like they used to
Ever since that rooster, flew into the yard.
1TAPALM ' 49
(Tune - Titanic)
Itj was up by Sopori where the Yalu meets the sea
I was out on a recce to soe what I could see
When I spied a farmer man "with his pitchfork in his hand
It was sad when my napalm went down.
Chorus %
It was sad? oh it was sad
It was sad when my napalm went down (hit the farmer)
There were husbands and wives
Itty bitty children lost their lives ,
It was sad when my napalm went down.
It was up by Kuniri where I won my DFC
I was out on a recce to see what I could see
When I spied a church below and I let my rockets go
It was sad when those rockets went doim. (Con't)
20
HAP ALIC (Conf t)
Chorus %
It was sad5 oh it was sad
It >ras sad when thoso rockets went down (hit the steeple)
All the people ran like hell
When those rockets hit the "boll
It was sad ifsien those rockets went" dox^n*
It was up "by Siiian.ju where I knew I was through
Ihe 30*s an(l 401s had shot my turbine through
It was when I hit the siik? oh my God I strained my milk
It was sad when that pil<~t went down,
Chori^s %
It was sad5 oh it was sad
It was sad when that pilot rent down (hit the bottom)
There were husbands and wives
Itty bitty children lost their lives
It was sad when that pilot went down.
ALT]} I LEARNED ABOUT PL TIB G FROM Hllf 50
(Tune — I learned about Tomen from Her)
I've handled the stick and the rudder
I*ve flown quite a lot in my time
Ifve had my share of instructors
And some of the bunch were fine
A bowlegged fellow from Princeton
And one that was trained at Cornell
And a fellow from Brooks3 but they gave him the hooks
And the Shavetail that gave me hell*
The fellow frcm Princeton was steady
He taught me to takeoff and*land
He'd set her down on three points
And loop her to beat the band
But when I went up for a solo
The jennie was steady and trim
Well? I landed that ship, but I busted my hip
And I learned about flying from him •
The man from Cornell was a bad one
A son—of-a—gun I will say
The dirty tail-spin he gave me
Will last for nznj a day
I donated a lunch to the cockpit
But he dived and spirn her again
He gave me a howl when I ducked for the cowl
And I learned about flying from him, (Con't)
21
AND I L3AR3H3D ABOUT FLYI1TG PROM HIM (Con't)
Tiie fellow from Brooks used the Gcsport
And lie talked through a long rubber tube
All that I heard was his swearing
He spotted me for a "booh
I!ll never forget one had tailspin
He yelled, kicked the rudder you simp
But I didn't kick? I must wiggled The stick
And I learned shout flying from him*
At last I came to formation
And took a fast ship from the line
I made the first turn a humming
And brought her back upright just fine
I sped up the ship without thinking
And hit number two in the wing
And —~ when I go well, the CO gave me hell
And I learned, about flying from him0
I !ve handled the stick and the rudder
I've flown quite a lot in my time
Ifve had my share of instructors
And some of the bunch were fine
But take some straight dope from a flyer
And go with ITavy to sea
For the ships they have- there can land anywhere
And learn about flying from me.
^keok of old '97 51
There were 97 airplanes warning up on the apron
Uot enough room you could see
Ho the first ninty~six were of recent construction
Bust the last one was a Fifty-one Do
She was old '97 and she had a fine record
But she hadn't been flown that year
And she creaked and groaned when they started her engine
For she knew thet her time was near*
A Second Lieutenant wandered into operations
And he asked for a ship or two
And they said? "Young man, we are very short of airplanes
But we'll see what we can do,
"Now the first forty-seven are reserved for Majors
And the Captains have the next forty-nine
But therefs one more ship on the end of the apron
The last ship upon the line.
We was headed for won on. and from there to Chinhae
And he had to make that flight
So he said, !t0IOJ if you gi^e ^e a clearance
I will get there so e bins toiig_tan vfo/^t)
22
";E3CK: OF OLD '97 (Con't)
Oh? he flew over Tee3on and the Taegu airstrip
And the ceiling "began to fall
/
And the clouds closed down on the tops of the mountains
And couldn't see the ground at all
lie flew through the rain and he flew through a snowstorm
Till the lighi began to fail
When he found a railroad going in his direction
And he said, "I111 get there by rail."
Ho flew down a valley and he dodged through the mountains
ind he kept that read in sight
Till the rails disappeared through a hole in the mountains
And he ended nis last long flight «>
There wes old 97? wi chher nose in the mountain
And her wneeis upon bhe track
And her throttle was oent in the forward position
But her ingin was facing back *
ITow ladies please listen and heed my warning-
From this time ever on
Sever speak harsh words to your flyboy husband
He may leave you and never return.
saf3 :~:afd mail 52
(Tune - Vreck of the Old r97)
They gave nim his orders at old Itazuke
Saying, "Bill, you're way behind time J1
Take this safe hand nail in your way weary mustang
And put 'er in Fagoya o:i tine.,
Bill turned and he said to his black, greasy, crew chief
"IS my spam-can readsr to roll?"'
Just head 'er down the runway and open up the throttle
And I'll call Camel Control."
There was one dark cloud between Bofu and Fagoya
But Bill was a. gauge pilot bold
It was in this cloud that he spun all his gyros
And his Mustang did three snap rolls.
He cane roarin' down the bottom doin' a million miles an hour
¥hen the tip-tanks cane off with a scream
They found him in the wreck with his hand on the throttle
Still flying the Tokyo beame
Fare-thee well, oh fare-thee well
Old Bill broke his mustang all to hell
There'll be no more suki-hacki at good old Itazuke
Fare-thee well, oh fare-thee well.
23
MG0H3HIFS 53
(Tune - You are my Sunshine)
You are my moonshine? ny only moonshine
You guide my fighters, when skies are grey
I chase your bogies9 from here to Moji
Just to find they have gone the other way,
The other d.aj boys, as I was flying
I heard moonshine controller say
"I've got a bogie do mi by Kurme
"won't you head your jet that-a-way?"1
He said he had me in radar contact
And 1 believed him like a dope
I fie??" co Koji - and stxII no bogie
He had chased, a fly across the scope»
You were my moonshine 5 my only moonshine
How could you let me down this way
lij chute was swingin1 - they heard me singin!
¥onft you take my moonshine away,
HHRETS TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE 54
(Tune - llj Bonnie Liew Over The Ocean)
In peace tine the regulars are happy
In peace time they*re happy to serve
But let them get into a fracas
and they'll call out the Gcd Damn reserves
Chorus? Call out, Call out
Call out the God Damn Reserves, reserves
Call out, Call out
Oh, call out the God Damn reserves.
Here's to the regular Air Force
They have such a wonderful pian
They call up the God Damn reservist
Whenever the shit hits the fan.
The call up the war-weary pilots
They ask for the drafted young man
The reservists they go to Korea
The regulars stay in Japan*
Here's to -Che regular Air Force
¥ith medals and badges galore
If it weren't for the God Damn reservist
Their ass would be dragging the floor.
Chorus 2s Fight on, fight on,
Fight on regular Air Force
Fight on, fight on,
Fight onj fight on
Fight on regular Air Force
Fight or_»o
24
s?rii:c tike oi\T the yalu 55
(Tune - Tien It's Spring Time in the Rockies)
When itfs spring Time on the Talu and the Mig's come out to play
And the contrails run in circles, fighter pilots earn their pay
We:Il hold our triggers steady when our sights are zeroed in
Welll hold our glasses ready when they pass out rum and gin.
If hen it's spring time on the Yalu and the map aim is in "bio on
ibid your 5°'s do the talking and it is jus a Mig and you
Once again yourll hear whisper that my fuel is running low
When it's spring time on the Talu then It's time for us to go»
TO THE REGULARS $6
(Tune = Mrs and lirs» Mississppi)
I wonft forget Korea
I can it forget Kunsan
For Syngman Rliee and Joe Stalin
Have made me feel at hone
I flew across the bomhline
And got a hole or two
But all I got was a crock of shit
Fron you and you and you,
Chorus i
Oh I was called to risk my ass
and save the UJ\T» too
But all I got was a crock of shit
Prom you and you and you
The AA was terrific
The small arms were intense
While flyhoys "bomhed the front lines
The division did the rest
While the regulars held tlie.ir desk jobs
The reserves were called en masse
The U« 1STo> knew the air reserve
Was the one to save their ass e
I Iovg you dear old USA
Wi~uh all my aching heart
If I hadn't joined the dsmn reserves
We'd never!ve had to part
But we won't cry and we won't squawk
For we are not alone
For one of these days The regular's'11 come
And we can all go home»
ITow we don' t mind The hardships
We've fc?ced them in the past
But we wonder if out congressmen
Have had forties up Their ass
We have to fight to save The peace
That1c what the hasTards said
But when you check the casualTies
Torl11 find no sen?tor: Psei. (Con't)
25
TO THE REGULARS (Con't)
I'a going to raise a family
IThen this was is through
I hope to have a bouncing "boy
To tell my sTories to
But someday when he grows up
If he joins the air reserve
1*11 kick his ass from dawn to dusk
For that's what he'll deserve.
CO-PILOTS IJIMT 57
(Tune-The Cowboys Lament)
Oh, Ifm the co-pilot, 8 s I sit on the right
I rfiX Quick and ocuxsgeaus and wonderfully "bright
I never talk back, for Ifll ha-VQ regret
And I must remember whet the captain forgets,
I make out the flight plan and study the weather
Pull up the gear drop It end stand hy to feather
I make out the mail forms and hire his whores
And fly the old crate bo the tune of his snores«,
I take all the readings and adjust the power
Put on the heaters when werer in a shower
Tell where we are on the darkest of nights
And. do all the hook work without any light o
I call for my coaptain and "buy him his cokes
And. I always laugh at his horible jokes
And once In a while when his landings are rusty
I come through with, trCaptain, lrij Gawd But it' Gusty!"
All in all, I'm commissioned a general stooge
As I sit to the right of this high-flying scrooge
But maybe someday with great understanding
HeTll soften a bit and give me a landing,
BOOZIIT' BUDDIES 58
A fighter pilot lay dying
The medics had left him for dead
All around him women were crying
And these are the words that he said,
Take the tailpipe out of my stomach
Take the burner out of my "brain
Take the turbine out of my kidney
And assemble the unit againJ
For we are the Wys who fly nigh in the sky
Bosom buddies wnile boozin*
Yfe axe the boys the;y sent out to die
Bodom huddles while bozin^ (Con't)
26
B00ZI2T BUDDIES (Con't)
Up in headquarters they sin and they shout
Talking of things the~ know nothing about
ITe are xhe hoys T4io fly high in the sky
3osom buddies while hoozin*
Bosom huddles while hoozin'
Bosom huddies while hoozin'„
STAInTO TO T0U2 GLASSES 59
A poor avietor ley a—dying
Lu the end of a "bright summer d.ey
And his co-nrdds Pere gathered around him
To osriy his fragments away,,
01iP his bird was piled on his wishhone
And his engine was wrapped around, his head
And he wore a spark plug on each elhow
Twas plain he would shortly be dead,
0h7 he spat out a valve and a gasket
As1he stirred in the sump where he lay
And to his sorrowing comrades
These brave parting words he say0
1*11 he riding a cloud in the morning
¥ith no merlin hefore ne to course
So come along and get "busy
Another lad now wants the hearse 0
Take the manifold out of my larynx
And the cylinder out of my brain
Take the piston rods out of my kidneys
And assemhle the engine again„
¥ith rusted fifties and rockets
"With pilots as old as they seem
T'le fly these worn out mustangs
Against the MIG-15.
Forgotten by the land that bore us
Betrayed by the ones we held dear
The good have all gone before us
And only the dull are s-cill hear.
So stand to your glasses steady
This world is a world full of lies
Herers a toast to those dead already
And here's to the next man to die <>
?7
30*3 OP TE1 ZT3LI7 vfARRIORS (ConJt) 60
Ay zigga zumba zhYog rramba
Ay zigga zuihba ^umba zay
-Ay zigga zunba zumha sumba
Ay zigga zunba zunba a ay,
Hold'em down*; you Zulu warriors
Hold1 em down, you Zulu Chiefs
Chiefs Chiefs Chiefs
Chi~ga-ma-lie—--------oh I
I TOTTED TOTGS 61
I wanted wrings till I got the god-damned things
ITow I don! t want them any more
They taught me how to fly them they sent me off to die
I 've had a "belly dull of war
You can save those "bloody Zero's for the other god.-damned heroes
Distinguished Flying Crosses do not compensate for losses5 Buster,
Chorusi
I wanted wings till I go the god-damned things
Ubw I don1!: want them any more.
I113 take the dames while the rest go down in flames
I've no desire to ho "burned
Air oomhat spells romance, hut it makes me wet my pants
I'm not a fighter I have learned
Tou can save those Uitsuhitsi's for those other sons~o~bitch.es
Cause I'd rather lay a woman than ve shot down in a Grumman, Buster,
I\Tow, I'm too young to die in a damned ol PBY
That's for the eager not for me
I don't trust to luck to he picked up hy a duck
After I've crashed into the sea
Cause I'd rather he a hell hop than a flyer on a flat top
With my hand around a bottle not around a god-damned throttle, Buster,
Eow I don't care to tour over Berlin or the Ruhr
Flak always makes me lose my lunoh
I get a urge to day 7 when they holler bombs away
I'd rather be home with the bunch
For there's one thing you can't laugh off
And that's when they shoot your ass off
For I'd rather be hone buster with my ass then with a cluster, Buster,
They feed us lousy chow but we stay alive somehow
On dehydrated eggs and milk and stew
What will they think of next? They'll be dehydrating sez
And on that day I'll tell the coach I'm through
For I dearly love my hunpin', and I'd love to do seme punpinf
But I'd re ther C3i?e -Tith chowder, xhan to come with lumps of powder3
Bustor5
(Conf t)
28 V J
I 1WZ3D "IBGS (Con't)
Eow the day that we bombod Metz, I ran out of cigaretts
(I always smoke one for my gut)
Ihey make them by the ton, "but I haven't got a one
Oh what I'd give to have a "butt
low the home front may "be pitching, "but I still will do ny hitching
Till I find some real sharp cookies,, who can mass produce* > some nookies*
Bus ter 9
I don't fly for fun in a P dash five crash one
Blazing a path for patton's tanks
My wife don't want insurance and I'm not out for endurance
ITd rather go to Paris and spend Francs.
In England it was blitzes? and in France the Messeaschmidtses
Oh' I feel line such a sucker when my ass-hole starts bo pucker9
Bus ter ?
I >LOTSD IOTGS 62
(Korean Version)
I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things
Uow I don't want then any more
I don'r want a tour in Korea that's for sure
Irve had a belly full of war
I don't want my fanny frozen
In that putrid l£nd of Chosen
Fighting MIG's of Uncle Joe's
In an atmosphere that's frigid frozen? buster
I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things
How I don't want them anymore o
I donT t want to die over Antung in the sky
MIG*s always make me berf my lunch
For me there's no Hey3 Hey screaming
Bogies that-a-way
I!d rather be home with the bunch
Uow there's one thing you can't laugh off
Ind that's when they shoot your ass off
I would rather be home buster
Tfith my ass than with a cluster. Buster
I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things
low I don't want them any more.
SQUABRQF SONG 63
Oh? we are the boys from the 46th
Tou!ve heard so much about
Ilothers keep their daughters in
T,Ihenever we go out
We Jre full of whiskey
He're always full of booze
Ohy we are the boys from the 46tk_
Hour who the hell are youse.
29
S^UaDROF SCWG (Con't)
As we go marching
And -the "band begins to P*L*A*Y
You can hear the people shouting
Raggedy Ra^z 5 Raggedy Razz
46th is on parade .
Whowawa
Who owns this club? whoTawa
Who owns this club? whowawa
Won. owis this club9 the 'people cried
We own this club
We own this club
The fourty sixth squadron -~e replied It
GOOD OLD MOTjlTTAIW DST 64
Chorus § They call it thai: good old mountain de-w-
ind then that refuse it are few
IT11 hush up my mug if you111 fill up nj jug
With thai; good old mountain dew*
There's an old hollow tree? down the road here from me
Where you lay down a dollar or two
Then you go around the bend* and when you come back again
Tour jug is full of that good old mountain dew
I'ly brother Bill? has a still on The hill
"Jliere he runs off a gallon or two
The buzzards in the sky, get so drunk they can't fly
Just from smelling that good old mountain dew.
Itfow my cousin Kort, he is sawed off and short
Only measures 'bout four foot two
But he thinks he's a giant? when you give hin a pint
Of that good old mountain dew„
llj old aunt Iune9 bought some brand new perfume
And it had such a sweet smelling phew
But to her surprise? when she had it analized
It was nothing but good old mountain dew«
The flak gets so thick, that it makes you feel sick
When you've been on a rail cut or two
But you'll never abort, if they'll give you a snort
Of that good old mountain dew»
BLOOD ON TOUR TUNIC 63
M Air Force Lieutenant to Pusan did stole
He!d just come back fro.: a raid over Seoul
When an old MP Sgt said? "Pardon me? sir
Theres f blood on your tunic and. nud on your knees." (Con't)
30
BLOOD QIC YOUR OTIC (Con(t)
Chorus? La de a, La de a
Iher's blood on your tunic
and mud on your knees
Now look here Sgt, you "bloody damn fool
I've just come bask from a raid over Seoul
Where ack ack is flying and comforts are few
And brave men are dying for bastards like you
iTow the old KP Sgt said, Pardon, me sir,
But on the Lto I meant no slur
But the girls down in pus an are hard to please
With blood on your tunic and mud on your knees I"
THE PO RIVER YALLEY 66
(Tune-Hed River Valley)
To the Po river valley we!re going
For to gut us some trains and some tracks
But if I had my say-so about it
ITd still be ^ack home in the sack
Come and sit by my side at the briefing
Do not hasten to bid me adiew
To the Po river valley we Tre going
And I'm flying four In flight blue 4,
We went for to check on the weather
And they said it was clear as can be
Now I lost my wingman 'round the field
And the rest augered in out at sea=
S-2 said therrs no flak where we1re going
8-2. said there's no flak on the way
There's a dark overcast o'er the target
I'm begining to doubt -what they say
A spitfire went by like a whiriwing
And a mustang went by like a breeze
And a C-46 with one feathered
Went by towing five L-3"s.
To the Po river valley we're going
And many strange sights we will see
But the one there that held my attention
Was the flak that they threw up at me.
FAREWELL TO AWTUITG OTIYERSITY 67
Farewell to Antung ULiiversixy, I have risen to reality
Forty thousand is no place for me, with IfIG-15's in the vicinity
With cannon balls flying ail around. Makes me wish that I'd stayed on
the ground,
I should join the infantry, or take the Ifavj and go out to sea*
31 , (Con'i;)
FARF'TBLL TO MTUITG UNIVERSITY (Conft)
Where did red leader go, when I called out "Bingo"
That's what I'd like to know, just where in the hell did he go
He called "Red flight, BREAK BIGHT," all I did was tuck in -night
He climbed up in the sun and that's where the fun beganI
Flashes behind me, flashes around
Plashes above me, and flashes on the goundo
I called "Red leader, where in the hell did you roam?"
Clear yourself and ride the mach cause I am going home J"
BLESS TH3II ALL 68
Bless them all, Bless then all
The needle, the airspeed the ball
Bless all The instructors
Fho taught ne to fly
Sent me up to solo and left me to die
So if ever your blow jet should stall
You're due for one hell of a fall
Ho lillies or violets for dead fighter pilots
So cheer up my lads, Bless them all
Bless them all, Bless them all
The long and the short and the tall
Bless all the segeants
The sour puss ones
Bless all the Corporals and their dopey sons
Gause we're saving goodby to them all
The long and The short and the tall
There'll be no promotions this side of the ocean
So while we are here bless them all
CHITOSS BLUES 69
(Tune-Cigaretts nad Whiskey)
Once I was happy and had a dear wife
I had enough Yen to last me for life
I met a 30san who was on the make
The bath it was hot and the Josan was too
If you go to Asmuchi my boys your are through
I went to my room, some sleep for to get
She said no sleep boy, with me ther's no sweat
I woke the next morning at quarter past ten
She says, "Hey Yankee, that's four thousand Yen*"
I'm back in Chitose where we sing and we shouts
Me and the Doc are sweating it cut
He gave me some pills from a jug on the shelf.
Then he pcured out a dozen or two for himself.
Chorus? Cigaretts and Saki and wild wild Josans
They'll drive you crazy? they'll drive you Insane
Cigaretts and Saki and wild wild Josans
They'll drive you crazy, They'll drive you insane
32
?;T«I~~£I ill? AITTMC- 70
(T'^e - Cigarette and Whiskey)
Once I was happy eaacl had a good deal
Flew F^x-_Tigiity-~oi_<:ed at old Yictorville
They asked Dior a /alunteer, said, "I'll take you"
The next th:.ng I knew I was stuck in TaegUo
Chorus i Kuni-ri and Antung, and wild wild Pyong-yang
TLey!ll drive you crazy, they111 drive you insane
Quad filties and forties and one hundred sorties
They'll drive you crazy, they?il drive you insane
~$e go down to "briefing while it is still night
le lift; ^ff the ruirray "before it is light
¥e form in \lie gloorr and we 're off on our v-ay
T"Te "re over the target "before it is day,
T"Te 're up to the laly, there's cons overhead
Fe think of The 'Wheels who are snug in their beds
he drop our big tips and we hreak to the right
"Josie" we cry with all of our might,.
7Te steer on 280, we Tre up in the soup
Ife swear that the leader is doing a loop
Break out in the clear and set; down on K-2
Be careful or Willie will write about you*
Oh the chosen is frozen and all wet with ice
From rhirty-f jve thousand she looks mighty nice
Bus ask a foot soldier and he'll set you plumb straight
It's covered with Reds blood imbeded with hate„
Oh the ICEG is a blot on the whole human race
A man is a monkey to give one a chase
Here's my description., take warning dear brother
There's fire on one end., but cannons on the other,
Went up to MIG alley, S-2 said "I\Fo sweat"
If I hadnTt looked * round, I'd be up there yet
Six MIG's jumped our ass, and the leader yelled "BREAK"
Got back to K-10, hoTr my knees they did shake.
If I fly a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to jam it, my ass is too sore
Thej can ram it and jam it for all that I care
Just give me a "Wing Job, a desk and a chair«
I went on my mission to cut; a rail track
They said, "There's no sweat 'cause ther ain't any flak"
But The guns from that place would make day out of night
Oh god hew I wish all I did was dog fight* (Con*t)
33
KLTI-RI Aim MTUBTG (Con't)
Oh it's up to the YeljL in my flying machine
The Sul-Ho Keservoir is plainly seen
Bui KIGvs ^ut cf Aatung send sweat down my "back
So I head towards Xanggje snd get shot down "by flak.
I grabbed ihcs^ cwo handles and squeezed—-what a sound
A kick \r_ L-e -xs? soon 1 ,jm floating towards ground
I shoed the.?, "by "blood si.its they said? "Kb sweat Mao"
They nand me on A frsr^c, now I'm walking "back.
FLTI^5rS BALL^fr ' Iune~3tr>"e a Little Bit of Hearer) 71
Sure 3 our tsrgot it wes bunkers
~fay out in tie nil Is so grand
Located in horea? right next to no "i&ns lan^
Our fans now thsy "ere C^I^'s
Mid. they "chough": our Zjustangs grand
As we circled o'er the target
If a belling "Willie Petern land
But our controller was neurotic
Fear the ground he wouidn!t go
TTe toggled off our babies
And we watched then hit "below
He had placed his rockets wildly
And he'd fouled the whole damn show
But when we got the grading
Stirs it was Zero - Zero
Sure? a little bit of airplane fell
From out the sky one day
It landed west cf Pyongyang
Fot very far away
Comet Red won't be coming back
It made us very blue
But we went on to our target
And we dropped our babies true»
So we sprinkled it with fifties
Just to keep their heads down low
Then we hurried back to S-2
To lie about our shot
"'Ihen you read it in the papaers
All about the 18 th.1 s capers
To a will know it's propaganda
Por old Barous? Bless his soulo
3i
r:Z3 CUCKOO S01\TG 72
j\Tow the Cuckod is a s Grange "bird
It sits on the grass
"ifitli its Kings neatly folded
and its "bosk up its oss
From this strange position
x
It seldom does flit
j?or it's hard to say "Cuckoo"
"With a he ale full of —- -Sweet Violets etc.
SAYS A FIGHTER PILOTS ASS 73
(Tmie-Throw a nickel on the Drum)
It "was midnight in Korea
All the pilots were In "bed
TThen up stepped Colonel ^__________________________._t
And tills is what he said*
"Pilots5 genble pilots, Pilots one and all
Pilots Gentle Pilots, oo~ne and save us all
TrIhen up stepped & young Lieutenant
¥Ith a to ice as harsh as "brass
You can take those God Damn Sahre Jets and shove them up your ass,"
Cruising down the Talu, doing six-twenty per
I called to ray flight leader, n0h won't you sace me sir
Got three "big flak holes in yij wings, my tanks ain!t got no gas
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday*, got six ?EG's on my ass."
Chorus s Oh Halleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a nickel on the grass
Save fighter pilots ass
Oh Ealleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a nickel on the grass
ind you * 11 he saved ^
I shot my traffic pattern? to me it looked all right
Turnin' hase to final, ny God I racked it tight
The airframe gave a shudder , the engine gave a wheeze
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, spin instructions pleaseo
Fould up my crosswind landing, the left wing hit the ground
I got a call from mo "bile, "pull up and go around"
I racked that Sahre in the air a dozen feet or more
The engine quit, I almost shit, tne gear came through the floor.
Split S onto my "bomb run, I got too God "Damn low
I pressed the bloody button. Let both my babies go
I sucked the stick back_in my gut, I hit a high speed stall
low I wonrt see my mother when the works all done this fall
They sent me up to Than Ho ah, the brief said "Ho ack acku
But by the time I got there, my wings were holed by flak
Ily aircraft wonlt into a spin, it would no longer fly
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, I am too young to die (Conft)
35
SAVE a FIGHTER PILOTS ASS (Conrt)
I "bailed out from my Phantom, my landing was top line
I-Iitli my 2 and S equipment, I made for our front line
When I opened up my ration tin, to see what was in it
My God Damn P*So Section, had filled the thing with shit,
Fow in this Coirmie prison camp, I an ohliged to sit
For one cannot gc very far, on a ration tin of shit
If I am ever free again, I will no longer fly
But I'll have ?„B« bollix, for breakfast till I dieo
Qh, while rolling do^i The runway, and headed for the di 5ch
I looked, down at my prop, Ey' God it's in high pitch
I pulled hack on the slick, and rose into the air
Glory, Glory Halloluic, How did I get there.
The boys up from the o bher group, They think they are so hot
They brag about the "Bluetails", that they've so often shot
One thing they don't remember, when e're they holler and hoot
Is to look into their rirror, just before they shoot0
I hear we1 re leaving the Philippines they say we're going home
They tell us no more wandering, never more we'11 roam
But the Colonels up at Laiigley, are planning on the sly
Just where they're gonna send us, on our next TDY.
I started on my takeoff? I thought the flaps vrere down
But when I pulled the gear up, the dive brake scraped the ground
The General he smiled at me, he thought^ it was great fun
But then I met the FEB, and Saigon here I come.
We flew our Sabres through, the war, we flew them far and fast
But when the war was over, we knew it couldn't last
They sent our old instructors, to teach us all their tricks
So now we're flying training, behind those dirty pricks.
Letting down frm forty-four, busting through mach
That Phantom sure was moving now, falling like a rock
Ky nose was aimed right at the field, there was an awful sound
Since we're flying training now, I'm sitting on the ground,
I started up in a loop, I thought that I was clear
I pulled up under Colonel Blood, I thought the end was near
I went before the FeIJ«,B., and They gave me the works
Glory, Glory Halleluia, what a bunch of jerks.
Rolling down the runway at ninety eight percent,
The colonel cut his throttle, my God I was hell-bent *
I pulled off to the left and bounced in the boondocks,
Glory, Glory, Eallelyja, what a bunch of rocks „ (Con't)
So
SAV3 A FIGHTER PILOTS ASS (Conft)
1 threw "v IhrotTie forward =, up to a hundred one9
I bounced back off ir.e runway lights after the damage's d_one9
I pulled hack on -,he stick and ricocheted some morom
Glory, Plor* «, what a "joat" even at full bore.
I then puilea up my gear| the cockpit filled with snoke?
My wingmau passed me "by, Fy C-od? it was no joke?
Then he looked over at r.e and saw a great long tear*
Gloryj Glory? Hallelujap how did I got thore?
I then cane in for landing just after it started to rain?
And tho ce sat Flying Safe by with a go dan ball and chain.,
I wem; oefore The "boards they gave me the works.
Glory, Glorys Halleluja^ what a hunch of jerks,
how "Te!ve gone all weather) it's missiles all the way
jfight or nurk we inxerlept,, we seldom get to play
"lie !ve gone from guns to nissiles9 radar that weighs ten tons ?
But r^y friend ? we'll wac your ess the way we've always done J
PUSM U 74
We were roaming round the country side? 'Twss down near Pusan hay
TTe stepped into a local "bar
To pass the time away
I i.iet a gal from old Chin Ju
She was a sight to view
I asked her wnere sne came from
and. she said? "Pus an jV'
Chorus s Oh. Pus an J, Oh Pus an U
The finest school in all the land
The University tnat's grand
Oh Pus an U? Oh Pus an TJ
I hail ny Alcma Hater
Oh Pusanj to you
I enrolled in that great college
Founded by Kim Pac Su
'Twos built of honey buckets
So they called it Pusan J
The smell it was terrific
But fortune saw me throiigh
So now I lift this glass
to the school of Pusan IJ
Chorus s Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
Your course is good for engineers
A-frames9 ox cprts pulled by steers
Oh Pusan U? Oh Pas an ~J
I hail my Alma Hater
Oh Pusan, to you (Oon'x)
37
PUS AIT U (Con't)
I saw a girl no si. beautiful
She was a sight to view
She won a "beauty contest
She was crowned Hiss Pusen U
They spotted her in Hollywood
low she's star there too
"When asked to what she owes her farce9 She says9 n0h Pusan U.n
REPEAT FIRST CHORUS?
He have an A-l baseball team
He win our carnes straight through
They ask us where we cone from
And xe say? Pus an IT*
He have a pitcher who is tops
Oar hatters are good too
And ~^qtj time we come to hat
The crowd yells9 "Pusan U."
REPEAT SECOHD CHORUS?
STRAFIH' ROUFD THE HOUHTAIH _ 75
(Tune — She111 he Comin Round the Mountain)
How listen all you airmen young and old
To the tale of Fighter Pilots young and hold
Tfith their fighters painted yellow
Leaping off to contact Hellow
In the crisp Korean air so "blue and cold.
It was dive bomb old 3inuiju3 stop the Reds
Eight one thousand pounders loader9 instand heads
Four birds lined up on the runway
Hish I? d gone to church on Sunday
Hope we catch those lousy Commies in their beds
Twenty thousand over ~Pjongjsng on Northwest
Gas Mask flight about to face the acid test
Till at last the Talu River
TJhich makes my liver quiver
Tlith flak guns lined up twenty-four abreast.
Dusty clouds roll up from Aiitung cross the way
Twenty swept wing Chinese War birds out to play
Thir ty-s evens 9 twenty~thre e s
All lit up like Christmas trees
Tip tanks salvoed off we leap into the fray.
Eimpo tower clear tho pattern in great haste
Twenty victory roil our pilots do with grace
It was thrilling, it was hsiry
Fear that privilidged sanctuary
Synghm-n Rhee "will soc"i os president of this place., (Con't;)
38
STRAFI17' ROUND THE EOU3TTAIF (Con't)
Kimpo tow^r this is .Gas Kask ?7illie Pour
I am neading hine, I'n through with this damn war
Cause they're sending "back to Moscow for some more
A IUVT PRAY3R 76
Our fatherj who art in Washington
druman is thy name
The ATavy!s done
the Air Force won
On the Atlantic9 as in the Pacific
Give us this day, our appropriations
And forgive us our accusations
As we forgive our accusers
Lead us not into temptation
3ut deliver us fron Hatth^w and. Johnson
For thine is the power
the B-36 and the Air Force
Forever and ever* Airmen
BALL AT KFRRIS KOIR 77
Preludes There was a hall a bloody great ball? the ball of Kerrie Muir
Four and twent prostitutes shaggin on the moor
Oh the King was in his counting house9 counting out his wealth
The Queen was in the bed roon? playing wim herself.
Choruss Singing Ifll do ye this time? I'll dee it noo
The mon that did it last night? could na do it noo
Oh the bride was in the bedroom? explaining to the groom
The vagina rot the rectun9 is the entrance to the womb
Oh the parsons wife she was ther9 seated down in front
A wreath of rosses around her necks a carrot up her cunta
Oh the village parson he was there9 and very surprised to see
Four and twenty maio_enheods hanging from a tree»
Oh the parsons daughter she was ther? she had them all in fits
Diving off the mantlepiece? and landing on her tits,
They were fucking in the hayloftss fucking in the ricks
Tou coaid na hoar the music for the slushing of the pricks
They were fucking in the barley5 fucking in the oats
Some were fucking sheep and some were fucking goats
Oh the village blccksmitii, he was there ? his hammer and his awls
Talking to the quesn ^nd showing off his balls
(Con!t)
39
TjlJB B^LL _'T KTkRIE IIUIR (con't)
They 7ere fuoki-ig in the perlors, fucking on the stdrs
You could not seo ths cerpcrs for the come and curly heirs
The village idio c he r« s there* a Decking like a foci
Pulling his fores&m over his head :nd whistling through his tool.
Plowman Jack r_e ~rcs there, the hugger rould n:+ drnoe
Sitting with a hard on, and siting for his chance»
The fierey Colonel he was ther, he!d fit amongst the Boers
He jumped upon the t^ble end shouted for the whores
The village cripple he rrs fckerj he couldna do verjr .iuch
So he laid the-n on the carpe b, D.id he fucked the-? "tLth is crutch
The chimneysweep end he res the ther=>5 re red to put Pin cot
For every time he farted, ne filled the room with soot
The village postr.an he was there? he had a dose of pox
He couldna fuck his lasssie so he fucked bhe letter bos:
And when the hall "was over, and the folks went hone bo rest
They said they enjoyed the music, hut the fucking was the "best*
THS Tillage s:.iithy he was there? he wouldn't play the game
He frigged a lasie fourteen times, before he finally cane
Twas the gathering of the clan, And all the lads were there
A grsbbin' all the lassies and friggin! without a care,
THE PERSIAN KITTY 78
The persian kitten perfumed and fair
Stepped out in the garden to get some air
A torn ct lanky, lean, and long
Dirty and yellow cane along
He sniffed at the perfumed persicn cat
As she walked hy with much eclat
Thinking of a little time to pass
Whispered, "Kitten, you sure got class"
Now fitting and proper the kitten replied
As she arched one whisker over her eye
"I've been raised on lillows of silk,
Never drank nothing but certified milk"
Oh I should be happy with all that I got
I should be happy, but happy I am not
I should be happy, happy indeed.
For you see I'm highly pedigreed"
Cheer up said the torn cat with a smile
Just trust your new found friend for awhile
You don{t have to leave your own back fence
For ki "-t^n all you need is experience
Tales of joy lie then jn furled \Con't)
hO
THE PERSIAN KITTY (Con't)
As lie told her the story of the ourside "world
Then suggested with a luriod laugh
That they take a little trip down the primrose path
Morning after the night before
When the kitten roburned at the hour of four
The innocent look on her eye had went
And the smile 0:1 her face was the senile of content
Months later when the cane
To vie those kittens of edigreed fame
They weren't persian? they were black and tan
And she told 'en that their father was a travelin1 nan
A rack en up? shrck en up traveling mm*
TATOOED L&DY
(Tune-My Indiana Home ) 79
I married me a tatooed lady
To roam around her body was a treat
And every night before retireing
I'd pull the covers back and take a peek
Around her waist was Pennsylvanias and on her hip was Tennessee
And tatooed on hor hrok was dear old Haekenscck
From the state of '~o^ Jorsy
How on her chest was Vest Virginia
Through those hills I lrved to roam
But when I saw the moonlight seining -on the wabash
Then I recognized n~j Ind'P na home - ____
I DG3PT Wi.ITT TO -J0I1T THE 1L.VT 80
Monday I touched her on the ankle
Tuesday I touched hor on the knee
Wednesday with success5 I hoisted up her dress
And Thursday her chemise, Gor Blimey
Friday I put my hand upon it
Saturday night she gave me balls a tweak
And Sunday after supper, I rrmmed the old boy up her
And now she brings me seven bob a week? Gor Blimey
Chorus 1 I don't want to join the ITavy
I don't want to go to war
I just want to hang around
Picadilly undergorund
Living off the earnings of a high born lady
Don't want a bullet up my arse hole
Don't want me buttocks shot away
I just want to live in England
In Jolly Jolly England
And fornicate me bloody life away
Call out xhe army r:id the Favy
Call out the rahk and file
Call cut the r >y-l 'cLrr^-oriols (con't)
,11
I DOh T WAWT TO J OUT TIE FAYY (ConJt)
They face danger with a snile
Call out "uho hoys cf the old "brigade
That made old 3nglar_d free
Ton oan Cell out ne Mother
Me sister and me Brother
But for God's sake don't cell ne, Gor Bliney.
TASGj" GIRLS 81
We are from Taegu? Taegu are we
We don*t believe in virginity _ Oh horse-shit
We don1 b use cradles we use Teoor handles
TfTe are the Tas^r girl s
And ever j nigh b at; t reive on the --look
We re ratoh the white man piss on t^e ROX
We like the way he handles his cock
We are the Taegu girls»
And every year at our annual dance
We go around -without an;y pants
We like go give those pilots a chance
We are the Taegu? talk about y^ur Taegu ? We are the taegu girls.
POOP, LITTLE AWGELIFS 82
She was street sixteen, she tjs the village queen
Pur and innocent was Angeline
She never had a thrjli? ?ao a virgin still
Poor little Angeline o
Wolf at the village fair,, the Squire was there
Masturhating on the village square
When he chanced to see? the dainty little knee
Of poor little Angelina•
So he raised his haty and he said your cat
Has he en ridden o'er and sr.ashed quite flat
But it isn't far? and I?ve got my car
Poor littio Angeline»
Mow bhey hadn't gone far9 when he stopped the car
And dragged her inxo the nearest bar
Where he filled her with gin? to tempt her to sin
Poor little Angelina»
When held filled her quite well> he dragged her to a dell
Where ho atterpted to give her hell
By trying his luck*, at a loir down fuck
With pocr little Angelinc (Con't)
A 2
POQn LITTLE ^TQ3LI>TP (Con't)
Hith a cry of rape? 1->z raised her caps
Poor lixtls girlie tbero 7&s no escape
Unless s one one car:e? to save the nane
Of poor little Angeline <,
How the blacksmith bold, had. a heart of gold
He'd "been her lover for years -untold
And he promsed to be true, and gaithful too
Poor little Angeline •
Put sad to say3 on that -vexj sane day
He'd been sent to jail and, there to stay
For coring in his pan'cs at nhe local dance
7itb poor little irjngeline
How the ■yind'W of his cell, overlooked the dell
Wherein the squire was giving her liell
As they ley on the gress? he recognised the ess
Of poor little Angeline»
So -with a nighty start., and a hearty fart
He blew the prison bars wide apart
And. he ran like shit9 lest the squire should split
Poor little Angeline6
f
"When he got to the spot5 and saw what was what
He tied the villainrs penis in a knot
As he lay upon his guts ? he got a kick in the nuts
Eron poor little ingeline.
Oh blacksmith bold? I love you true7
And from your trousers I can tell you love me too
And as I'm all undressed yyou had. better do the rest
Said poor little Angeline«
How it won't be wrong to end this song
For the blacksmith's penis w?s one foot long
And this flailing charm was thicker than your- arm
Lucky little Angeline 6
THE RIVER R,Itf RED 83
(Tune— Titanic)
If umber one was naving fun? number two got quite a few
Humber four got some more as he said
"Oh the river ran red. with blood of the dead
As we came around and. tried to get some nore".
The road wag full of ruts, and the ruts were full of guts
Little children sucking tits had them shot right from their nits
Oh the river ran red with blood, of the dead
As we came ground and tried to get some more
(Gnn't.)
43
TJ3 itl'/ER 3-^C' RED (Co:i!t)
There was r -oner. in t_te crowd, little children cried aloud
But they all carried guns for the foe
There were some too turned around? when they heard that awful sound
As we care around and tried to get sone more„
Oh it seemed an awful crime, as we shot them in their prime
But they got nunher three don'x you see
Yes they shot hin down with flak, and they "broke is "bloody hack
Lb we cane around and tried to get some more,
Huzhber one was having fun, numher two got cmiie a fe~~
Fumb^r four got scne ncre as he said
"r0h bhe river ran r^d with hlo^d of tae ^ecd
x,s tTe ocne around and Tried to get some ^re.
STHJLFSRS 81
When I was a cade's, en innocent lad
The Chaplin told re the good from the bad
_4nd of all his words-, these were his last
Fever fly high and never fly fast.
So I joined up the strafers with these words in mind
And. off to ITew Guinea did go
But when I got there I was to find
The strafers fly too gosh darn low.«ooOh0
lie fly o'er the trectops with inches to spare
There rs smoke in the cockpit and grey in our hair
The tracers look fine as strafing we go
But "brother you!re flying just too gosh darn low,
:.hg 15 85
(Tune- I tTought I taw a Puttyca,t)
I fought I taw a I1IG--15, £ weeping up on me
I did, I did, I tsw him, as "big as he could he .
I am that great "big l'IIG-15, Ivan is my name
i>nd If I catch that !84, I'll shoot him down in flane •
OLD SOLDIERS NEVER DIE 86
Then up and spoke a srj-lors wife
ihid she was dressed in green
.And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a submarine
She had. a submarine ij boys
Ttfith conning tDwer complete
_4nd in the other corner she had half the fucking fleet.
(Con't)
OLD POLDIDrtS IT3TSR DI3 (Con't)
Chorus i She Iiaa these daik and dreamy eyes
7it_i a whiz "bang up lie nighty
Singing Hi J*ack5 cone and have a skin hack
Come and have a "bang at Liza? singing
Old soldiers never die9 they just smell that way,
'Then up and spoke the gunners wife
And, she was full of fun
And in one corner ofher funny little thing
She had a vickers gun
She had a vickers gun ny boys
Tith the breech block and the sear
And in the other corner she iiad provisions for e year
Then up and spoke the pilo fcs wife
And she was chewing gun
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a fifty-one
She had fifty-one my boys
Two napalms and six guns
And in the other corner she had rockets by the tons
They up and spoke the skippers wife
She was dressed in black
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had. a fishing smack
She had a fishing smack my ~boys
The oarlocks and the oars
And in the other corner she had bags and. bags of sores .
Then nap and. spoke the jockey's wife
And she was dressed in i?ed
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a horses head
She had a horses head ny boys
The bridle and the bit
And in the other corner she iiad bags and. bags of shit,
Then up and speke the brewers wife
Aid she was dressed in grey
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a brewers dray-
She had. a brewers dray my boys
The barrels and. the beer
And. in the other corner she had syph and ghonnorhea*
CF TOP OF OLD PY027GYAKTG 87
(Tune- On Top of Old Smokey)
On top <~>f old Pyongyang} all covered with flak
I lost my poor wingma:i? he!ll never cone back
For flying is pleasure 3 and. dying is grief
And a quick triggered commie9 is worse than a thief (Con't)
or TOP OF OLD PYOHGTAInFG (Con't)
For a thief "ij.1 yust ro'b you, and take all you save
But the quioc triggered commie9 will E&nd. you to the grave
And the grave will destroy you5 and turn you to dust
Hot one JIG in a thousand. A Sabre Jet can trust0
How when the bad weathery keeps the ships down
ill day we can hear? this horrible sound
Attention all pilots, noir listen to this
'There'll be a short meeting? That you dare rob miss,
They111 give us some lectures? then give us some more
But we have ail heard tl<3m? twenty-five times or more
3Tow listen you traineess you can!t fight the group
TTh.g-i-°v^r th.^y fp>li yon; is superfluous poop»
OF TO? OF OLD FUJI 88
Oh top of old Fu,ji9 all covered with snow
I lost my jet pilot, from flying too low
He put on an air shows he did it for me
On top of TIt Fuji? he clobbered a tree
HIth throttle wide open? he made his last pass
At altitude zero? he bulbed his ass *
3SD HOSE MIGS 89
(Tune- Shrimp Boats)
Oh the red nose KIG's are comin'
Hot a Sabre in sight
Oh the red nose HIG's are comin'
And they want to fight
Let!s hurry9 hurry ? hurry home
Oh won't you hurry? hurry ? hurry home
Oh the red nose MIG's are comin'
Hot a sabre in sight0
TEH! CAIZ5L 90
The sexual life of a camel
Is greater than anyone thinks
In monents of amorous passion
He often makes love to the sphinx.
How the sphinx's posterior organs
Are blocked by the sands of the nile
Tlhich accounts for the hump on the camel
And. the sphinx's inscrutable smile«,
•Hie crew they all ride in the dory
The captain he rides in the gig
It don't go a damn bit faster
But it makes the old bastard feel big (Con't)
46
Z1E CAIIEL (Con!t)
Chorus g Singing toraly toraly toraly a
Toraly toraly A
It don't go a damn bit faster
But it makes the old bastard fell big
Exhaustive experimentation
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall
Has proved that the ass of a hedgehog
Can hardly be buggered at all•
Oh why don't the boys down at Harvard
Do like the,boys down at Tale
TLiej pull all the quills from the hedgehog
So it's easy to grab by The tail.
Here!s to the girls of ITorth Adams
And here's to the streets that xhey roam
And here's to their d.±r±j faced bastards
God bless them they may be our own „
Here's to old Port Massachusetts
And here's to the old Hohawk trail
And here's to the Indian maidens
They gave us our first piece of tail.
OLD BEEH BOTTLES 91
It was only an old beer bottle
Floating on the foam-
It was only an old beer bottle
Ten thousand miles from home
Inside was a piece of paper
TTith th«se words written on
"Whoever finds this „bottIe
Fill find the beer all £one.
CATS Oil THE ROOF TOP 92
The hippopotamus so it seems? seldom if ever has wet dreams
But when he does3 he comes in streams
As we revel in the joys of copulation..
Chorus s Cats on the roof tops? cats on the tiles
Cats with the syphillis? cats with the piles
Cats with their ass holes wreathed in smiles
As we revel in the joys of copulation.
Down in the Pampas, down in the grass, mama armadillo has an iron
bound ass
But papa armadillo has a prick of brass
As we revel in the joys of copulation (Con't)
47
CATS ON THE ROOF TOP (Con't)
¥ay down south, where the alligators roar
There isn't such a thing as an alligator whore
Cause all the alligators are too sore
As we revel in the joys of copulation,
Oh the elephant is a funny old Mock
¥ho very seldom gets his poke
But when he does he dips it q_uick
As we revel in the joys of copulation.
_=sss!wi_^_]_-^^ is a friend of mine
His dub he vary seldom pounds?
But when he does the halls resound
As we revel in the >30jb of copulation.
POOR BUT HONEST 93
Oh she was poor but she was honest
The victim of a rich mans whim
lihen she met that christian gentleman Big Jim Folsom
And she had a child by him
It!s the rich what gets the glory
It!s the poor what gets the blame
It's the same the whole world over ~ over over
It!s a low down dirty shame
How he sits in the Legistlature
Making laws for all mankind
TJh.ile she walks the streets of Dotham Alabama
Selling chunks of her behind
Oh the moral of this story
Is to never take a ride
With Alabama's Christian Gentleman Big Jim Poison
And you111 be a virgin bride.
PIPER LAURIE 94
Salvation Army9 Salvation Army
Standing on the corner in the night, night9 night
Beating on your drum with your finger up your bung
Singing mama hold my pee~pee while I pee-
Sergeant Major, Sergeant Kajor
Standing in your uniform so bright bright bright
Saluting with your hand ^ith your bollix in the send
Singing Corporal hold my pee-pee while I pee.
Naughty Baby,, Naughty Baby
Keeping all the neighbors up at night9 night, night
Standing on your head in the middle of the bed
Singing nsna hold my pee-pee while I pee (Conrx)
A3
PIPER LAURIE (Con't)
General Barous, General Barcus
Looking at jour stars so big and "bright, "bright, "bright
CoiTiirig down the hill singing Colonel have a thrill
Singing Colonel hold my pee-pee while I pee*
Piper Laurie, Pipex Laurie
Having skoshie chop-chop at the club, club, club
As I gaze into your eyessnd by pee"-pee starts to rise
Singing Piper hold -ay pee-pee "while I pee „
ACE 13 THE HOLE 95
Oh the >*rorld is lull ol guys, who think tney!re mighty wise
Just because they know a thing or two
Tou can see then nighc a day strolling up and down Broadway
Telling of The wonders they can do
There are wise guys and ooozers
Con men and crap shooters, fchey congregate around the metropole
Wearing fancy ties and. collars, where do they get those dollars
They all have that ace down in the hole»
Some of them write to the old folks for coins,
That's their old ace in the hole
Others have girls on the old tender—loin
ThatTs their old ace in the hole
They'll toll you of places that they're going to see
From Frisco fco the old north pole
But their name would be mud, like a chump playing stud
If they lost that old ace in the hole,
THE MISSION 96
(Tune- The Thing)
I looked upon the sche'dule and was as happy as a king
For once I had a mission when I wasn't flying wing
I went down to the briefing room and my tiger blood went ping
For there sat Major FIchols and they had me on his wing
For there sat Major Hichols and they had me on his wing^
The mission was all briefed to go at,quarter after nine
Big Bog had given us all the poop, the weather it was fine
"One word of advice" ho said to us,"Though I hate to spoil your fun
Stay out from in front of the ITG-15 it's got too big a gun
Stay out from in front of the MIG-15s it's got too big a gun.
TTe were augerin' around away up there as watchful as could be
fieichman said, "Take a look at six and see what you can see.."
I took a look afc six o'clock and much to my surprise
1 discovered a I1IG~15, right before my eyes
I discovered a l'IIG-15; right before my eyes. /
v
• o
THE MISSION (Con't)
The cannon balj.s were flying around as thick as they could he
I took one look and said, pays I, This ain't the place for me
I rolled it over and sucked it through and took it down below
Sayin1 get out of here with that BOOM BOOM BOOK and donTt come "back
no more
Sayin1 get out of here with that BOOH BOOM BOOM and donft come back
no more .
I shoved the throttle to the wall a runnin' for my life
Skelton said, "Come hack you coward and join into the strife."
''Tour ass," said I with quaking voice, "This ain't no place for me.'f
So I racked it up and pulled it around and took it out to sea
So I "racked it up and piilied it around and took" it out to sea.
I roiled it out of that six G turn out o'er the briny deep
That j'IIG could not have followed me cause I sure racked it steep
But when I looked back? Oh there he sat, as fat as he:Gould xhe
And. he was shooting Those cannon balls, and they were coning right
at me .
ind he was shooting those cannon balls, and they were coning right
at me «
I took hit upon the wirig, another in the tail
The way that Sabre was 1urchin* around I'd surely have to bail
I braced myself and said a prayer and pulled the handle red
Ohs if I hadn't gotten oat of the flaming irreck, I surely wound up dead
Ohj if I hadn't gotten out of the flaming wreck, I surely wound up dead.
Ihe moral of this story is, if you're up in a fight
And you've got a MIG at six o'clock, and he's all tucked in tight
Don't ever roll out or pull it up, that's my advice to you
Cause you'll never get rid of the Son of a Bitch, no matter what you do
Cause you'll never get rid of the Son of a Bitch, no matter what you do.
S?0D? PROMOTION 97
(Tune- Cold Cold Heart)
Irve tried, so hard my friend, to think
That rank was worth a lot
But now you've gone and got yourself
Promoted to a spot
Tour job is one that could be done
By any PPC
How can I get your ass shipped out
ind get that spot for me <>
You'll be a full fird soon, mj friend
Of that I have no doubt
The T/O's being changed right now
They ripped it inside out
Lieutenant General, ffing CO
The staff all gets one star
At least wefll have some rank around
To help v* fight the rex0 (ConTt)
50
SPOT PROLOTIOIT
(Tune-Cold Cold Heart) (Con't)
Another week or two in gri.de
We'll put you in again
You. needn't wait to learn your job
That's for enlisted i.en
The only thing I envy is
The talent that you got
How oan I get your ass shipped out
And get your open spot.
AIN'T IT A BLOODY SHAMS
(Tune-Poor "but Honest) 98
~\e "fere fat back in the Trumanfs
Drink beer, and sometimes wine
"Fhen they said, nTou!re going over
To Korea's fighting line.*'
We were young and we were eager
To get one hundred and go hone
But they slipped the finger to us
And left us here *- far o'er The foam
How they sit in FEAF Headquarters
Mking rules so much unkind
It's the same the whole world over
Isn't it a bloody shame
Shed a tear when you think of us
Sitting here on old K-2
While you sleep with all our sweethearts
As we fly the old Yaluo
EARLY ABORT /
(Tune-MacMamara's Band) 99
Oh, my name is Colonel_______________, I'm the leader of the group
Just step into my briefing room, I'll give you all the poop
I'll tell you where the Commie is, and where the flak is black
I'll be the last one off the deck, I'll be the first one back.
Chorus 1 Early abort, avoid the rush;, early abort, avoid the rush
Early abort, avoid the rush
Oh my name is Colonel__________, I'm the leader of the group •
« ,-
My name is Hagor____________________ and I lead old liberty
An if I go on rail cuts, my boys will follow me
But if you say Pyong-Yang, I'll tell you what I'll do
Get into your plane and gc ahead, end 1*11 wait here for you
I'm sure you've heard of nightmares, and the things they do
But if you'll come down to the line, you'll see they1re far from true
The pilots they ere re-a;;, but let the skipper snout (con't)
31
EARLY ABORT
(l\me-Mac£femara's Band) (Contr)
And all those oastards yell at once, "My mags they won't check out!'5
And they I'm surs you know of the leaders in the i"ing
My night in the D Club you can hear how well they sing
¥ith words they fight a hell of a war, they say they wanta go too
But just you give then half a chance, and hereJs what they will do.
Oh I fly the old Invader, and. Douglas says itTs great
But when it cozies to fighting MIG's, those bastards don't rate
I was horn to he a fighter, to grapple in the "blue
But when it cones to fighting HIG's I'll tell you what I-fll do
Ifow we111 all line tip and take off, and set our course at ten
And when we rerch the no return, we'll all turn trek again
We'll call tlio tower and get d steer, we don!t know where we?ire "been
Drop your tanks and canopies, peel off and helling in*
Oh we fly those bloody Sabres at a hundred bloody feet
We can fly then in the rein and fog, and in the bloody sleet
We think we!re flying bloody south, instead we're bloody north
And we make our bloody landfall at the Firth and bloody Forth.
0 we fly those bloody Sabres at a hundred bloody feet
We can fly then in the rain and fog, and the bloody sleet
And when we're flying bloody high, we!ro flying bloody low
And we hit the marker beacon such an awful bloody blow.
ITow when this war is over and we're back in the U» So A.=
We'll fly the planes in all war games, and do what the Generals say
But if we have another war and they give us the "86
To hell with all the geno staffs, we won't get in that fix,
THE FAIRCHILD AB0R1IQW
(Tune-Strawberry Roan) 100
Out on the flight line one cold Sunday morn
Sat the Fairchild Abortion all battered and torn
The wings were sagging, the tires were flat
The form one had a red line, I'll bet you on that
We fired up both engines with mixtures full rich
And took to the runway with that son of a bitch
We puched on the power, she farted and stalled
And got off the runway, no airspeed at all.
We called to the tower, "Single Engine,'1 we say
"What the hell," said the tower, ''We got them all day"
"Go around," said the tower, 'He can't lex you land
We got Gooks on the runway dragging off send,
We milked up the flaps, and rolled in the trim
Over the tree tops that old wreck she did skin
We turned on final and free fell the gaar (Coii'i)
52
THE FilRCEILB ABORTION , 1 ,
(Tune-Strewberry Roan) (con't)
The engineer nurriersdj "Plecse hcve no fear!!,
The pilot was scared^ the Co-pilot too
The engineer had ail he could do
The runway was coming and coming up fast
On third of the runray had already passed
We pulled off pewc-r and she settled in fast
That one-twenty-three had landed ct cist,
BLACKBIRDS
(Tune-Bye Bye Bicckhirr1) 101
Here we stend c:i the ground
¥e won't take off till the sun goes down
¥e fly "blackbirds
Go in lew and coF.e out fs-st
Keep those fighters off our sss
¥e fly Blackbirds„
Kb one here can ever understand us
You should here the malerky they hand us
Mix those drinks and mix em right
Because we lre standing down tonight
Blackbirds we fly.
BIRTY LIL 102
Birty Lil, Dirty Lil
Lives on top of garbage hill
Sever took a bath
Never will
AchI Ptu.il Birty Lil.
* KATHUSELEK 103
In ancient dcys there lived a maid
¥ho used to ply a filthy trade
A prostitute of ill repute
The harlot of Jeruselem
Choruss Hi Ho Kathuselem the harlot of Jeruselen
Hi Ho Eathuselem the daughter of the Rabbi
Eathuselem's snetch was bold and bare
Upon her gash there grew no heir
For hair won!t grow on the thorof:re
Like the snrtch of old Kathuselem.
(Contr)
S2>
lATHUSELEII (Con't)
Ket_~usclc~ a < curia as round and red
For for 13 yerrs it kd not bled
It spelled rs "though it Led been dead
Since the To .nding of Jeruselen <>
Ifo Kathuselea was a wiley witch
A god damn fucking son of a bitch.
And every pecker that had the itch
Had dangled in lOtnuselePi.
Ifeort door there lived a giant tall
His prick of steel jDOuld smash a wall
His halls Irung down like basketballs
The giant of old. Jerusalem«,
One night x earning from s spree
A quite consis t-ent jubilee
His balls hang ifell below his knees
He chanced Across Kotruselem
And so he challenged her to fuck
And wishing her the best of luck
He led her to a shady nook
And there unfurled his mighty hook
He led her to a shady no ok
And there unfurled his mighty hook
For forty yards it throbbed and shook
The wails of old Jeruselen
This giant of old was underslung
He missed her cunt end hit her bung
And writh his giant pecker stung
The pride of all Jerusalem.
Zathuselem she knew her art
She cocked her ass and blew a part
She blew him like a bloody dart
Through the wells of old Jerusalem*
And there he ley a broken mass
His cock all bent with siiit and gas
Kathuselem got up and wiped her ass
On the walls of old Jerluselem.
SEOUL CITI SUE 104
(Tune-Sioux City Sue)
I drove a herd of oxen down
Till I reached old Bong Chong Way
And there I net a gook girl
Who said she!d„ like to Dlay
Her clothes were of a dirty blue
Her hands and. feet "ere t^o
54 ;:c-^t)
SEOUL CITY SU3 (Con't)
(Tune-Sioux City Sue)
I asked 3ior wh-t her ncme was
She said, "Seoul City Sue.,"
Chorus § Seoul City Sue, Seoul City Sue
Your hair is "blacky your eyes are too
I'd swap ny Loney oart for you
Seoul City Sue? Seoul City Sue
Kb one smells of Kirchie
Like ny sweet Seoul City Sue
Oh, Korea, I oust admit
I owe a lot to you
I eerie here iron America
To find Seoul City Sue
Someday I1!! tal:e her bexk with ae
And by her perfumes too
So people cairfc't be singing
"Here comes Seoul City Suec"
-LOOK AT THF SMS Off HIK 105
I heard they wanted men to fight as aviators hold
So I went do"m, Held up my hand, and this is whrt they told
"Youfll go to Kelly Field and learn to navigate the sky"
When I got t'lere I was SOL for this is how I fly,
Chorus 1 Look at the ears on him, on him
Oh I How do you get that way?
That was the greeting I received as I inarched in today
First they put me into the kitchen? KP was my name
I wrote my girl that I was a flier
Gee I but I'm a wonderful liar
Look at the ears on him, on him
Oh5 How do you get that way?
That is the only battle cry I hear both night and day
If ITm to fight in this great war and end the Kaisers^redgn
They'd better take up me kettles and pans
And give me an aeroplane <>
I've peeled a million spuds since Irve been in this flying game
I've swung a pick and shovel, till my weary back is lame
I've navigated lots of ground but not an inch of sky
And when I ask about aeroplanes, I rear the same old cry,
FIGHTER PILOTS 106
(Tunes Samny Small)
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell
Oh the place is full of queers, navigators, bombardiers
But there are no fighter pilots do7m In hell*
p5 (CorJt)
FIGHTER PILOTS (Con*t)
(Tun o i S anny Sn al 1)
Oh there are no fighter pilost in the states
Oh there sre nn fighter pilots in the states
They are off on foreign shores making nothers out of whores
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states,,
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
They are all across the bay? getting shot at every day
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan.
Oh there are 'no "bomber pilots in the frej
Oh there are no bcihbor pilots in the fray
Hiey are all in ~JSOfs wearing ribbons? fancy clothes
Ob there are no bonber pilots in the fray*
Oh the bonber pilotsss life is just a feroe
Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce
The automatic pilot's on he!s reading novels in the John
Oh' the bonber pilot's life is just a farce •
Oh the bonber pilot never takes a dare
Oh the bonber pilot never takes a dare
His gyros are uncaged? and his wo.nen overaged
Oh the bonber pilot never takes a dare«
Oh rhi'iew are no fighter pilots up in iring
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in iring
The place is full of brass, sitting round on their fat ass
Oh there are no fighter pilots up 'in "ring*
Oh itTs naughty naughty naughty but it*s nice
If you ever do it once you'll do it twice
It111 wreck your reputation? but increase the population
Oh it's naughty naughty naughty but it's nice.
When a bonber jockey "walks into our club
When a bonber jockey walks into our club
He donft drink his share of suds, all he does is flub his dub
OH THERE IS BO FIGHTER PILOTS D0T7F IIT HELL.
TOAST TO THE ELLS A¥GELS 107
(Tune-This Old House)
This ole tean gonna need revision
This ole tean gonna need a crew
This ole tean has thrived on ginnicks
Have you seen our pink and blue
This ole tean has frosty tailpipes
This ole tear has lost its charn
And the captain said The other day
My boys, you!ve bought; the f am „
56 (OcrJt)
TOAST TO THE BLUE ANGELS (Con't)
(Tune-This Old House)
A_inH gonna need this toan no longer
AinTt gonna need This bean no more
Ainrt got tine to learn the dienond
Ainft got tine to learn the score
AinTt got nerve to do a "bomb burst
Or a plane to do the roll
And "wore looking for the PIO
?7ho got us in the hole.
This ole team can't fly in -feather
This ole tean canft fly in rain
This ole tean is out of pints of blue
Tfe Ere called old yellow stein
This ole team is getting lonesome
This ole tean has gone as~ray
And refre just five angel puddy cats
Awaibin* judgement day*
Ain't gonna need this tean no longer
Ainft gonna need this tean no more
Ain!t got tine to be a tiger
Ain!t got tine to give a roar
Ain!t got planes that hold together
Or that G-suit underwear
But we !ve got our pretty flying suits
So we donft really care.
TACHIEAlfA, TOKOHAIIA, ITAZUKE 108
(Tune-Hawaiian TTar Chant)
Tachikawa? Yokohama? Itazuke
Tachikawa? Yokohama? Itazuke
Tachikawa - - Yokohama ~ - Itazuke is the place
Ahp So9 (Tachikawa) | ah5 so (Yokohana)
Ah, So? (Itazuke)? Ah5 So? KIFPO
Frozen Chosen is the place for you iiy hoy
Frozen Chosen is the place for you r.j boy
Frozen Chosen, Frozen Chosen, Frozen Chosen is the placee
Ahs So (Frozen Chosen)j Ah So, (Frozen Chosen)
A BOMBER FLIES 10,000 KILES 109
(Tune-Sing us Another One)
Our bomber flies ten thousand niles
Our "bomber flies ten thousand niles
But a "bomb like a cherry
Is all our bomber flies ten thousand nilcs (Con!t)
57
A P0IIB3R FLIES 107000 MILES (ConH)
(Tune- Sing us .Another One)
Chorus i S'^aC-i' boys? steady hoys
Here kernes another lie0
Said pilot to bomber7 how slick
Fingin^ this target's no trick
But r.y God how strange
We're flesh out of range
Strap on my parachute quick
The Air Force sure has the life
Wine 9 toden and song is the pirn
'There rs medals by "baskets
In the I'-O-Fi starlet command
p~80!s =>re certainly keen
li to daring your tendencies lean
3ut ~"e krant it said
We s d not he caught dead
In such a:: infernal machine
With our homhers the world will he shocked
At three hundred miles theyTire been clocked
But while,dreaming up tricks
With the 3-1'j
We've all had. our heads up and locked*
The X—1 was cruising the "blue
The pilot fel"c something quite new
Chrisr what a sensation
Vfhere?s public relations
The Legion of Merit will do
Our homher goes ten thousand miles
We cJ aim it hut only with smiles
"While crashing the harrier
We pooh? pooh? the carrier
That really goer ten thousand miles,
Oh we know what we're saving is true
We got it directly from Stu
We love the blue yonder
But sometimes we wonder
Just who!s doing what and to who
So listen young men as we say
Be careful of wings and flight pay
There*s no prohibitions
On suicide missions
So come join the Air Force today
58
OhTtU TJIEYx PFjRj) HAP^Y 110
v Tup^-Fen en tne Flying Trapeze)
Once they Tcre heppyc, completely at ease
They fie: bhwir F~30's like a swingin' trapeze
'They looped en? thoy rolled er.? they bounced DC-3's
But alas "c~z s? Their wings have been clipped,
One day they approached Itazuke
Jet leader called echelon right
Mustangs at nine o'clock level
Let's see if 8th fighter Trill fight
The F-80rs "broke left and the Ifjstangs broke right
I think t"->cy see us, says 301 four in fright
They'ro all pi111m streamers says 30t number ~^z?e=>
L-t's go ~<~">q? this is no ploce for ~e „
The je fcs rcaded hone ax s nundred percent
In face invber four had tie throttle shop bent
Back to ITieawa., to Misawa they went
Never to oojrice any more.
TE3 PPETII2ST SFI? Ill
(1) (Leader) The prettiest ship
(ill) The prettiest ship
(Loader) Out on tre line
(All) Out on the line
(Leader) The IZG-13
(All) Trq ;iIG-15
(Leader) Flies fast and fine
(All) Flies fpst and fine
(Leader) ^h.^ prettiest ship
(All) The prettiest ship? out; on the line
The I'IIG-15 flies fast and fine.
(2) "When we go up and fly at noon
The LIG-15's leap off the noon
(3) Then they cone down and pretty soon
A pissed-off tiger lowers the boon
(4) On all our plmes we paint red. stars
For EIG~15rs that land on liars
(5) We chase then up to forty-fcur
That fox exght six ain't got nuch more
(6) The throttle's set right ar full bore
We'll never catch thct little whore
(7) Then the3" start home and Casey calls
We're letting down no sweat at all
(8) We're coning m with thirteen chicks
Twelve IIIG's one fox eight six
(9) The nor el of this story is cleer
When you start hone just check your rear
(10) Cause if you d.on't you're sure to find
A MIGr-15 -Duelled in behmg.
59
!:-*f SUITS iuTD P,,RAC?7JTDS 112
(Tunc-Bekk Bottom Trousers)
Once there was a barmaid, down in "brewery lane
Her mas-ocr was so kind to her? her mistress was the same
Hong cane a pilot? handsome as could he
He was the cease of all her misery
Choruss Singing "G" suits and parachatss
Ana uniforms of blue
He!11 fly a fighter
Like his daddy used to do„
He asked her for a pillow to rest his weary head
She gave IL to Mm willingly ana lost her maidenhead
And she lo-Ke a silly girlo thinking it no nam
Clined in hed heside him jt^st t,o keep the pilot ¥?rn0
How in tiie morning he fore tne "break of day
A five pound note he handed her? and this to her did say
''Take this my darling9 for all the harm Ifve done
For you may have a daughter and. you may have a son
If you have a daughter9 put ribbons in her hair
And if you have a son? get the bastard in the air."
Bow the moral of moral of my story as you oan plainly see
Is never -crust a pilot an inch ahove the knee
The oarmaid trusted on and he vent off to fly
Leaving lor a daughter to help the time go by.
Final Chorus s Singing nG'T suits and parachutes
And uniforms of blue
Shel11 never fly a fighter
Like her daddy used to do0
INTO THE AIR 113
Into the airj UoS Air Force
Into the sir? Pilots true
Into the airj UoS0 Air Force
Keep your nose up in the blue
And when you hear the engines roaring
And the steel props start to shine
Then you can "bet the UcS= Air Force
Is along the fighting line.,
Into the airj junior birdmen
Into the air5 upside down
Into the airy junior birdmen
Get your nose up off the ground
And wren you hear the great commencement
Any you win your wings of tin
Tou will know the junior hirdment
Have sent their box tops in*
*0
i:i HILD 3IED CADET - 114
(luiie-Ly wile Irish Rose)
My wild eyed Cadet, lie ainTx learned nothing yet
He noses her dorr, when close to tno ground
My wild eyed oedct.
He lips in hi^ banks <, if l:e lives we'll all give thanks
I hear diuns js-sting low. and men inarching slow
Behind wild eyod cadets,
EIGHT BUCKS A DAT 115
Open up the t1 rotxlo till the needle hist thr ocg
Eight bucks a Cc2,s Eigh b "bucks a day
Dive cT.d roll °n<! loop h^r till she's -^i ngl^s os p T<=>g
Sight "bucks a dry is 5he pay
Close "cno gate? look :ke door
Cause we wonft core bac<v to Langley no ^oro
¥eTll land at oveiv filing field to San Francisco Bay
Sight bucks a day is the pay*
I 1"AFT TO GO HOME 116
I want to go home I I /"ant- bo go hone I
The gas tank is leaking5 the motor is dead
Hie pilot is trying to stand on his head
Take me hack to bhe groundv I don't want to fly upside down
Oh? myI I'm too young to die
I want to go hone <>
HaIL YOU FIGHTER. PILOTS 117
From PohunkuSp Tennessee-
Came a hastare that was ne
And my father shoveled snow fron off the stree
Well when I was vexj young
He found a o'ianond in xne dung
And he sent ne here to sing this song to you
So hail9 oh Eail, you fighter pilots
Fill your glasses full of brew
And we111 have another glass
To the latest noreses ass
In the squadrons of the yellow and the blue•
TEE FOHLATIOK" 118
Here's a health to the formation leader9 a jolly good fellow is he
He uses three star navigation,, and flies on Bacardi
Here's health to the leaders tow wingnen, to the gunner within his~Turelle
Here's a health bo the whole damn formation9 ve1!! fly reviews in hell.
61
I'v~3 GOT SIX-PENCE 119
I've got six-ponce, jolly jolly sixpence
I've got six-pence, to last me all ny life
I've got tuppince to spend, and tuppence to lend
And tuppence to send hone to ray wife, poor rife.
Ho cares have I to grieve ne
No pretty girls to decieve ie
I1 : happy as a lark "believe ne
As 7re go rolling rolling hone*
Rolling hone, Rolling hone
By The lighT of The silvery noon
Happy is The ^ay? viae a tho Air Force gr u" its Day
As "e go rolling rolling no^e •
PASB3 ClLiZS 120
2\Fotj* you can send ne twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But donTt ever send ne over the Ruhr
Send ne to Paris or a target in Franco
Any old pice that I night have a chance
You can send ne Twice a d~y
To the Pasde Calais
But don't send ne over The Ruhr
You nay think I'm Tacky
But I'a only slightly flaky
Don!t send ne over the Ruhr
Now the slert's on the phone
The target's Cologne
My God, That's on the odge of the Ruhr.
Send ne to Brenen or old potsdan tofrn
Any place you can see through the flak to the ground
You car send, ne twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But don't send no over the Ruhr
Por even when I'm planning on aborting
Don51 send ne over the Ruhr
01)3 TO THE B-29 121
(Tune-Whiffenfool song)
We are four little fans xho have lost our way, GROWE, GROWR, GROW
We are four little fans who have s^e astray, CROiJR, GROW, GROWR
One third pilot out on the left, one third pilot out on the right
-"
"George" is flying vith all of his rixght, Grovrr, GROVR, GR01RH
62
IF YOU FLY 122
If you fly an 09, you must be dumb, deaf, and blind
For your life ainft v:orth a dine, what's your scheduled blow up time
Chorus? Will you go Doom today, will you go "boon today
Two blew up yesterday, Allison einlt bore to stay
If you fly an 86, you must really get your kicks
Bouncing the all "roather "boys, playing rith their rrdar toys.
If you fly a 94? yon will never holler more
For your lot we dc nob pine, itfs better thon an 39*
If you fly a thunder-jet, you will really have no s»T8at
For your life you rill not pound, the clunker wo-iTt get off the ground.*
TOO L03FG AT IT^UICS 123
Too long at Itaauke
Look just like a little gook
Eyes that slant, nose that's flat »
Speak Japanese, "You caught a nuskrat"
Me work in rice—paddy
Go Geisha house and drink saki
Me jo-jo lumber One Japanese boy-san0
SOSTG OF T3E 18TH 124
(Tune-Vreck of Old 97)
It's a long, long road fron Pusan to Pyong-yang
And the mountains are high and wide
If ny engine quits? you can write off a mustang
Cause I'm fixirig to go over the side* '
Col. McBride led his boys on a mission
And the chinks started throwing up flak
He said, "Run en up boys, and we'll clean out our engines
And the drinks are on the lasr one to get back.
Close support is a damn fine sortie
Cause you work so close to the troops
You get hit twelve tines by a 20 or a 40
And your engine coughs, sputters, and poops.
So you hit the sild and you land in a meadow.
And the chinks start blazing away
And a 'copter comes along and picks up your olho*"
Registration boys will find the rest scire day*
It's a damn fine war and I love every mission
And I guess I!:i here to stay
3ut I'd rather shag r broad by ^ugge^tivo ooiuion
Or caxch the clap in Sante Fg.
63
rL.ii: I!\F THE EIGHT 125
Pron Ilunscn to Anju, fren Pyongyang to Yaiigdok
Wherever the rs& trucks go
I've be on on some rough rcv.tes, and had no some tough bouts
But there is one thing I know
The red balls -,;ill get you9 they're worrisome things
That lead you to sing, the flak in the night.
.Hear the 8th a-cailing, hear the 13th bailing
Dentist, oh dentist, oh bromide, oh broride
Oh snowflake, oh give ne a steer oh give re a fix
I'm lost in the night0
THE XWADES 126
Oh the invader is a very fine airplane
Constructed of steel and tin
It will do over three hundred level
The plane with the tailwind built in
Oh? why did I join the Air Force
\
Mothers dear Mother knew best
For hero I lie in the wreckage
Invader all over my chest,
THE FIOHTIFG 68TH 127
(Tune-MacNamaras 3and )
We're here to tell a story cf squadron 68
Cane over fron Ashia to join the fighting eighth
Theytre sitting hero before us, tapping up the brew
Thej donTt belong in a fighter group, but what can Chitty do,
Chorus! La da da da, "What can he do
La da da da, What can he do
La da da da, What can he do
Oh they don't belong in a fighter group
But what can Chitty do.
They fly their old night fighters, they take off after dark
They donJt know where they're going, they1re just up for a lark
They never brief, they always beef, fly strictly on a hunch
Their call should be "Banana" cause they fly in such a bunch.
Tou know we also fly at night, thank God the times are few
We often hear night fighters saving, Moonshine, is that you?
Won't you tell those nasty shooting stars to land they're in our wayl
RAIL CUTTERS 128
(Tune-Cold Cold Heart)
I tried so hard-, Wild Bill, ^o cut
That streak of railroad track
61 (Con't)
RAIL CUTTERS (Con't)
(Tune-Cold Cold Heart)
But I'm afraid that all I did
Was dodge that flying flak
I know that one is all it takes
To "blow my ass apart
Why can't I get just one rail out
And melt our cold cold heart.
Ill DiRLIHG 39 125
(Tune-My Darling Clementine)
In the cockpit of the Cobra
Trying hard to reach the line
But alas my engine faltered
Fare thee "well ny 39
Chorus § Oh my darling9 Oh my darling
Oh my dsrling 39
You are lost and gone forever
Fare thee well nj 39
¥hen yourre spinning very flatly
And you've got a worried mind
That's all "brother , hit the jump sack
BSd farewell to your 39
All the "brass hats in our congress
They have signed the dotted line
They are lucky they just bought it
They don{t fly the 39.
M07T1T 01 130
"When you hear the patter of tiny feet, itfs the 49"th in full retreat
They're movin on, they'll soon "be gone
They've pushed around just long enough, thery're movin on
Hear the pitter-patter of the little feet, it's the first marines in full
retreat
They're movin on. They're movin on
They're "burning gas they're they're hauling ass, they're movin on.
Hey GI you pissed off at me, Whet's the matter you got no VD
I'm movin on, I'll soon be gone
Ho'ney hucket turned over in the middle of the road, In movin on.
Mama-san movin down the track, with a CI baby strapped on her "back
She's movin on, She'll soon he gone
If she catches GI papa-sa, he'll he movin on.
63 (Con't)
HOY Lit OH (ConTt)
Oh. here goe.6 the Commies runnin down the pass
PIayin the burp gun on a gyrene!s ass
He!s movin on, he's movin on
Tou!ve been flying too high for this little ole guy
So ITm novin on.
Ihe ole Loun dog was feelin fine, till he jumped in a barrel of
turpentine
He]B novin on , he!s movin on
He crashed the gat like a P-38, but he's movin on.
xhe old ton cat was feelin mean,, till he ccught his tail in a se*win
nachine
ffcs 155 noTin on a he 's mcvi-"* on
He nissed a s bitch when be hit the 3 itch, but; he's movin on*
MT GOD HOW QBE 110T1LY ROLLS IH 131
My father makes rn in the bathtub
My mother makes two kinds of gin
Ily sister makes love for a living
My God how the money rolls in.
Chorus? Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in, rolls in
Rolls in, rolls in, my God how the noney rolls in,
Ily brother's a poor missionary
He saves little girlies from sin
HeTll save you a blonde for five dollars
My God how the meny rolls in.
My uncle paints real frenchy postcards
My auntie she poses for him
Her costume cost nary a penny
My God how the money rolls in.
I tried making ail kinds of whiskey
I tried making all kinds of gin
I tried making love for a living
My God the condition I'm in.
Choruss Sin, sin, sin, sin, my God the condition I'm in, ITm in
Sin, sin, sin, sin, my God the none 3- is rolling in.
My father died in the bathtub
My mother she died of her gin
My sister she married my brother
MT GOD T,fHhT L JESS I 1M lit.
Ird an uncle who was a nightwatchnan
Who spent all his nights in the pit,
He used to come home all over in shit.
66 (ConTt)
:>J GOD HO"T IFF M01T3Y ROLLS IF (Con't)
My Auntie moiufgo .urcs French letters
My ecusin pricks nolos with a pin
My -uncle perfoims the abortions
Ily God how xhe ziciiey rolls in.
RIITG DMO D00 132
(Tune-Jimmy Crack Corn)
When I was young and sweet sixteen
I met a girl from Hew Orleans
Oh she was young and pretty too
She lied what yoLi c?ll a ring-6ang-^00 *
A ring—dar.g-dooj pray what is that
It!s r^und and s ;f t like a pussy cat
It*s round end. soft and split in two
Th3t!s what y^u call a ring-dang-doo
She took me down into the cellar
She said. I was a very fine feller
She gave ne wine and whiskey too
ibid she let ne play with her ring-dang-doo
She took me up into her "bed
She placed her tits "beneath nj heed
And then she took my hickey-floo
ilnd. placed it in her ring—dang—doo
How six months later she began to swell
She swelled and swelled till she looked like hell
She told her ma and her father too
That I took a crack at her rmg-dang-doo
Her father said you filthy whore
You*ve gone and lost your maidens lore
Pack up $:our bag and your nighty too
And make your living from your ring-dang-doo
She went to the city to become a whore
She hung a sign upon her door
Five dollars now nothing else will do
D?o take a crack at my ring-dang-doo,
And the fellers cane- and the fellers went
And the price went down to fifteen cents
Fifteen cents and nothing else will do
To take a crack at my ring-dang-doo
And then one day a son of a bitch
He had the crabs and the jockey itch
He had the syph and diarrhea too
And he took a crack at her ring-dang-doo
67 (Con?t)
RIlvO DUG DOO " (Con't)
( Cune-Jimmy Crack Corn)
They hirig >.or -its in the city hall
They pickled hoi- ass in alcohol
low all you boons and hobofs too
You!vs heard nj talo of the ring-dang-doo
Bo they buried her near the city hall
And they engraved upon the wall
Sh_e!s learned her lesson and you should too
Just stay away from the ring-dang-doo*
OLD GREY BUS OLE 133
(Tune-Old Grey 3xmet)
Put on ycur old grey bustle and get out and bustle
For tomorrow the rentss coming due
Put your ass in clover let the boys look it over
If you can't get five take two „
Put on those old pink panties that used to be yjur aunties
/did we111 go for a tussel in the hay
Fow thor's no use duckin! cause you!re goona get a fuckin1
In tho good old fachioned way,
Put on your old grey corset if it winft fit force it
For the fleett is coming in today
As the bees make honey let your ass make money
In the good old fashioned way*
Put on that old blue ointment the crabs dissapointnent
iind will kill those bastards where they lay
Though it scratches and it itches it will kill those sons of bitches
In the good old fashioned way,
MACS RIDERS II? THE SKI 134
(Tune-Ghost Riders In 'The Sky)
A grey E-4 got airborne one dark and ^iiidy day
And. as he raised his landing gear, you could hear the pilot pray
Keep all those buckets in the wheel and Ifll be safe and sound
Dont let th^se fires go out, Dear Lord, till I am on the ground*
Chorust Yippi-i-o, yippi-a—a-a
Mach riders in the sky
The black sabre-tooth tiger puts the commies on the run
wVve been famous since that bitter day in fourty-one
Though wo may work on holidays, and weekends just the same
The 45th makes his-cor3r, Oh bless that fpnous name.
66 (0-r_rt)
J^CE RIDERS IF TEE SKY (Con't)
(Tune-Ghost Aiders In The Sky)
And as our phantoms leave t,as ground, their -tails are spouting flame
ihe pilots all nay go through hell, nut fly en just the sane
The crew chiefs "jrk their asses off to deep em flying high
And lood wi oh satisfaction at their phantoms screaming "by.
Day and night our pilots fight to live up to their name
Other pilots cone and go, but ours fly on to fame
ThejlTQ going to fly forever ir_ that range up there on high
Thej cuss end cry, 'Live or dio," MACH RIDERS IN THE SKY.
TEE THING I35
I fve flown abound for many e 3~orr? from 3erlin to Taegu
But ne^ex a thing I saw like the thing, cruising along the Yalu
I was tooling up and down one day, "with nary a Thought on my nind
Tthen suddenlj- was this ?JLL? rii>ht up my "behind
Klien suddenly was this ???_.9 rJ-&ht "&P niy behind*
I dropped my tanks and broke to the righto called help to my wingman
He took ore look at the ???<? and he turned around and ran
And then I called on another guy, Known as Maple red
But when he saw the ???, he ducked his nose and fled
But when he saw the ???, he ducked his nose and fled
And then there was this other bird, who yelled get altitude
Ihere may be more of -chose 222,? an<^ Irve los"k ay fortitude
Then finally came this swepi-wing thing9 on of the famous forth
He said I'll get that 222.? ili3 ^I-C"fciGS spattered forth
He said Ifll get that ???, his fifties spattered forth*
And then I looked around again, end mucn to my surprise
I saw him clobber the 2?2j> rigb.t before my eyes
The MIG blew up went down in flames, his comrades followed suit
Because of the guy m The ?_?j\ ~jljl° ^new ius^ ¥llen *° shoot
Because of the guy in the TTJj 'jho lzn°1J d^^ "when to shoot,
Now all you jockeys of eigh~y~rours, herers my advice to you
Never go cruising up and down, north of Sinanju
Unless you?ve gob -ujl^ Famous Fourth, hovering over you
Cause theyrll take care of the ?J2j ^^ knolf Just what to do
Cause they* 11 take care of the '?_??, they know just what to do.
THOSE WEDDING BELLS ARE BREAKING UP 136
Not a soul down on the corner
It's a pretty certain sign
Those wedding bells arc breaking v:p
That old gang of mine. (Conrt)
69
CE0S3 iimDIJG 33LLS ARE ERSL6KIFG UP (Con't)
All The boys are singing love songs
They've forgox Sweet Ado line
Those Tedding "bolls are breaking up
That old ga-ig of rin.-.
There goes Jack, there goes Jill
Down through lovers lane
Kow and thon<, we neot again
But they c3onT~c seen the sane
G38 I gex txiat Icnesone ieel ing
Fhen I hesr t/h^se cnurch hells oiiiire
do so wee 'mg oelis »ro breaking up
Tha b old gong of mine =
DOODLl-LHE-DOO 137
Please sing xo me That sweet nelody
Called Doodle-lee-doo,j doodle—lee-doo
Is doodle-lee-doo*, doodlo-lee—doo
Simplest thing? there isnrt nuch to it
111 you go b to do is doodie-loo-doo it
I love it soj wherever I go
I doodle-lee-doole-lee—do„
Two little loverss under -he covers
What'11 they 6o? doodle-lee-doo
I would suggest thab they should undress
ind doodle-lee-dooj doodle-Iee—doo
Cherries are red, ready for plucking
I'm sixteen and I'm ready for highschool
I love ix so ? ■whereever I go
I doodle-lee-dooodle-lee-cLoo«
Please do to me what you did go Karie
Last Saturday nighx, Saturday night
It must have been reel, cause I heard Marie squeal
Last Saturday nigHt, Saturday night
Don't know what, what you were doin'
Somebody said you were doodle -loe-dooin
I love it soy wherever I go
I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo•
Miss Enma Snow went out on a show
Called doodle-lee-doo? doodle-Ioe-doo
She nede a hit gust playing her hit
In doodle-leo-dooj doodle-lec-doo
Twenty four hours? that's ell there was to it
How in this world did she doodlc-lce-doo it
Got a Rolls Royce, but hot bv her voice
But ^o^l-'-lee- doodle-lee-e'en ,
70
BALL OP TARN I38
Tnras a s-unny doy in June all -the flowers were in bloom
The birds were singing gaily on the fain
¥hen I spied a r.aiden fair and I said -unto her there
Let me wind up your little "ball of yarn*
She said sir can't you see you're a stranger to me
But follow cie out "behind the barn
There's a shady little noek beside the babbling brook
Fliere you. oen wind up my little ball of yorn0
Fow jDVug men take my advice never stajr out Icte at night
And you'll never lose your clierrj cr 3rour charm
Be like tre bluebird end the robin keep y-^ur little P fron bobbin'
And y^uTll never wino up that little ball Df yarn,
BTEG US idTOTSEE OILS DO 139
There was a young man from Boston
T'Tho traded his car for an Austin
There was room for his ass and a gallon of gas
But his bells hung our and he lost era,
Chorus 1 Aye aye yi yi, In China they never eat chili
Sing us another one
Just like the other one
. Sing us another one, do
There was a young nan fron Dundee
TTho buggered an ape in a tree
The result was most horrid, all ass and no forehead
Tree balls* and a purple goatee*
There was a young nan fr^n Kildair
Who buggered his girl on the stairs
The bannister broke, he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in aid air,
There was a queer fron Khartuon
I'lho took a young lesbi?n to his .coon
They argued all night, as to who has the right
To do what? with which, and to whor*
There was a professor fron the Mall
T'Tho possessed a cylindrical ball
The cube root of ixs weight, plus his penis, plus eight
"ifas one half of two thirds of (fuck all.
There was a joxmg girl frjn St Paul
"Who wore a newspaper dress to e ball
Her dress caught on fire, and burned her entire
Front page, sports scebim and all*
71
'' fo^ ? f^
{J. ^ Vy 'J.X L' J
3IFG LIS ./MOTHER OITE DO (ConJt)
There "'ras c young lady from Whecling
Who line! a peculiar feeling
She lc?id on bur oack, and tickled her crack
And. pissed all over the coiling«
Hie re was a y >vng nan from i\Tan tucket
Whose dick was so long lie could suck it
He srid TTith a grin, as lie wiped off his chin
If my oar were a cunt I could fuck it.
There once "as a young nan iron Kent
Whose dick wos so long that it Dent
To St'YG hinself trouble, he put it in Oouble
_4:id ir ~ to re1 of o o r ing ? he wc- n t.
There once was a non 31 class
Whose halls i"cre n ado of "brass
When they swung together, they played stormy weather
And. lightening shot out of his ass „
There was a young man from Sparta
Who was the worlds champion farter
On the strength of one bean, he played God save the Queen
And Be e t h o ve 11x s Mo o nl i gh t S on a t a <=
There once was a man iron Rangoon
Who was horn by the light of the moon
He had not the luck, to be born by a fuck
But was a wet dream scooped up in e spoon
There once was a boy from Baclaridge
And. he was his parents disparage
He sucked off his brother, and went dom on his xnother
And. ate up his sisters n-iscarrige.
There once was a pilot from K-2
Who buggered a girl down in Taegu
He said to the Doc, as she handed hin his cock
Will I lose both ny testicles too.
There once was a man from Trieste
Who loved his wife with a zest
Despite all her howls, he sucked out her bowls
jbnd deposited the mess on her breast,
In the garden of Sden sat Adam
With is hand on the butt of his madam
Ho chuckled with mirth, for he knew on this earth
There were only two bolls and he had em«
There ^as an old hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said Ifll admit, Ifm a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save <.
72 (CcnV)
Ci\7C IS jyOTHER OFE DO (Con't)
Thor^ or3o ,7^3 a g*J' :ace^ .ilice
THio r.scl r. dyi.jn-.c- s~ ck for a fallice
The:' rcrV per -rig ;ia= in south Caroline.
Jin? : ^iof- of her hymn in Dallas.
There cnoc vcs a girl :roa France
ITho he^rdec1 c .rain by chance
The on^mecr fj_cked her, and so'd the conductor
.hie air 3rok^man von t, off in his pants*
There once vas a men fron Bombay
^klo P~"s>3.\^i>eC a cunt out of cley
do ' oc b or his prick9 tvri-ied bho cley in+o "brick
ir ^ ~~^C. al jiis Toroskin arfy,
'^ic-'g o ice ves a girl ncned Gail
Be ;vo.n _icr cits ret a price of her tail
Aiii -_. her behind? f r the sake of tho blind
¥as tic sane information in braile*
There nice >'as a girl from the Azores
¥Loo" cunt vas ril covered "with sores
Tho 6j{-s :n the street*, vhould not eat the green meat
That hun ■" " - f 3 toons vrom her drawers.
hjro ves c young gir] from Peru
ho Ba c a- the Bishop vithdrev
Thie ~\/„c.r ..s quicker, he's also a licker
i_nd ccr.sic'ernbly flicker then youe
There vas a jouhg priest fron Dundee
Tfho vent in the garden to pee
He said Pa^c To Biscum? I cen't make bhe piss come out
I guess I've got C L A P,
There ~tdb a young girl noned Myrtle
¥ho Vc s raped on the beach by a turtle
The results of tne fuck? vas two eaggs and a duck
Fhich proved thet the turtle vas fertileo
There vas a young man from Nottingham
Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham
Just vrtching the stun us, of the cunts end the punts
ijnd the trices of the pricks that vcre fuckingharu
An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said fucking is one thing I do knov
All vomen are fine, and sheep are devine
But lianas are numero uno.
There vas a young man fron lev Brighton
v
Who said my dear you've a tight one
So ad she pon rry soul, you have the wrong hole
It's tho one up in front tiirt's the right ->r>e.
73 (Con't)
3IITG US MOTHER 01\TS DO (Con't)
There i;as a nan from St Janes
Who played most unusual games .
Eo lit a natch? to his grandmothers snatch.
And laughed as she pissed through the flames,
There once was a man named KcCruder
TTho wooed a nude in Bermuda
Few the nude thought it crude, to be wooed in the nude
But IlcGruder was cruder? he screwed her.
There was a young nan from Kieth
~"Tho skinod bask pricks with his booth
lb iTesn!t f">r pleasure 9 he ad op bed this measure
But f~r "Che ciieo^e he f'^urd underneath,
There ATas a young lass named Alice
7ho peed in the Archbishops chalice
It was not from relief? as "^as the belief
But purely from prodestant nalice»
There was a young bishop from Birmingham
""ho didled the nuns while confirnin1 ren
He brought fchem indoors? slipped down their drawers
And slipped his Episcopal worm in Ten.
There ^as a young nan from Brock
Who tied a "violin string to his cock
With just one erection,, he could play e selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.
There was a young lady from Ransom
Tfho had it three times in a hanso :
Wlien she cried for more? a voice from the floor
Cried my name is Simpson? not Sampson*
There once was a girl from Cape Cod
Who thought all babies came frm Gad
But it wasnTt the Almight who lifetod her nighty
It was Roger the lodger the sod»
There once was a lady named Lil
Who swallowed an atomic pill
They found her vagina in Forth Carolina
And one of her tits in Brazil •
There once was a pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rhumba on skates
He fell on his cutlass, which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates
There once was a m~nk fr-n Ilongolia
Whose life was lonlier and lonlier
One night just for fun? he to Ac out a nun
And new she's a Ilother Superior,
7-1
PISS 0I\T TH3 ___........... 140
Let's ail go do"n and piss on -the
Piss on the______, piss on tho _________JUL"
LotTs ail go down and piss on the ______^ __
Till they float away
Till they float away
Till they float away
Let's all go doTn, and piss on the___________
Piss on the 9 Piss on .tho________
Let's all go down and piss on tho ____________
Till they float away.
W3ST VEHGIHIA HILLS 141
In uhe hills of West Virginia, lives a girl nailed Fancy Brown
AInft novor such a beauty, in city or in bown
How Fancy and tho Deaoon climhod the mountain come high noon
And when they reached the summit, it was very very soon.
Oh she cane rollin down the mountain, roll in down the mountain
Roll in doim. the mountain by the don
And in spite cf his urgin, she remained the local virgin
And is just as pure as West Verginia ham,
Wow along can a trapier, Henderson "by name
He took little Sancy, end the story's just tho sane »
She cane rollin down the mountain, rollin down the mountain
Rollin do"Jn the mountain "by the shack
And in spito all of his urgin, she remained the local virgin
And is just as pure as Pappy's applejacke
But along cam a slicker, with his hundred dollar bills
He took our little nancy, a way up in tho hills,
iincl thoj1" she stayed up in the mountains, stayed up in the mountains
Stayed up in the mountains all that night
She came home next morning early, more a woman than a girlie
And her pappy kicked the hussy out of sights
How she's livin In the city, livin in the city
Oh she*s livin in the city mighty swell
Shefs done away with pots and kettles, and she's eatin fancy vittles
And those West Virginia hills can go to hell»
But along came depression, took slicker by the pants
He had to sell his Packard, had to give up little Hanc'
So now she* back in "Jest Virginia, Back in TTcst Virginia
Back in West Virginia as of yore
And tho Deacon and the wrapper, get that thing that they were after
und s!ip!s kiiK. ai as that ""est Virginia L A D Ta
15
f
LILLI PROK PICCi^DILLT 142
Oh, I tr ok a trip to london to look around the town
When I got to ?iccadilly,_ the sun was going down
I!ve never seen such darkness, the night was black as pitch
When suddenly in front of me, I thought I saw a witoh,
Choruss Ohy it was lilly, from Piccadilly
You kn:>w the one I mean, the one I meon
I!ll spend each payday, thatts ny hey hey day
With Lilly, my blackout queen«,
Oh, I couldntt see her figure, I couldntt see her face
But if 1 over meet her, I?ll know her anyplace
1 couldn!t tell if she were blonde or a dark brunette
But gosh ch gee, did she give ne, a thrill I won!t forget.
She said to ne, Oh Yankee boy are you lonesome are you blue?
Just step around the corner, I'll show you. what Irll show you what
I111 do
"We went up some dark alley, I said, I love you. kid
She said, Okay, but first you pay, so I gave her twenty quid*
She leaned her back against the wall, I took her -in my arms
She gave to me her very all, yes all her buxom charms
I lost my head, I lost my heart, I even lost my hat
It wps a shame, she should have been, a circus acrobat „
We went to her apartment, and when we were in bed
She was so very pleasant, I said someday wc!d wed
She even gave me breakfast, she was so very nice
Why, what she did for twenty quid was cheap at half the price-
It was a few days later, I began to feel so queer,
ind when I went on sick call the doc said, '"it's quite clear
YouTve had some leve command© style. Como, son, now d.onft be shy,
You're not to blame» Tell me her name*" So I answered with a sighs
low when my children ask me. "Please tell us. Daddy dear,
What did you do to win the war?" Irll answer with a sneer,
"Your Daddy was a herof his best he always fought-.
With bravery he gave to ilio commandos his support."
PziblBS I>T BRi-SSSIPES 143
ThereTs nothing can be better than a girl that wears a sweater
Though she may not be as big as she appears
They've got an awful lot of falsies in brrsseires
Her pullmonary muscles my resemble Janie Russels
ind sho1^! say she got that; way from drinking beers
TheyTve got an awful lot of falsies in brcsseirss,
16 (Conft)
FUiSI'S I3ST BR^SSEIRES (ConH)
So round-----so firm --— and so fully packed
You'll find itTs re ally just an act
Give a girl a Bally bra and she Trill grow---grow-—-grow.
Now I've made a o are full study with the help of my "best buddy
Xnd a hundred thousand women volunteers
They!ve got an a"£ul lot falsios in brassoireSo
So fellows 'fore you wed hcr? Please investigate her sweater
Or you'll find t;our honeymoon "ill end in tears
Theyrve got an awful lot of falsies in brasseires.
FRIGGl'TG QT THE RIGGING 144
G>Tas on ths go^d ship 7onus5 . y God yui shuuld have seen us
The figure head Mas a wh^re in osc1, ixd The nast i rampant penis
Chorus? Frigging in The riggings Prigging in the rigging
Frigging in the rigging? there's fuck all else to do.
The captein of this lugger9 he was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit? from one place to another0
The first mate's name ""as Morgan? my God was he a gorgen
Ten times a day ho usod to pla~'? upon his sexual organ,
The second mates name was ixd~>? he was so young and randy
They boiled his bun in stealing ruuis for coming in the brandy-
The Midshipmans nzne was Hipper,, he was a dirty ripper
He filled his ass with broken glass9 and circumsized the skipper.
The captains wife was Mable5 when ever she was able
She'd fornicate with The second mato? upon the gaily trble.
The coptain had a daughter, "ho fell into the water
DelighTed squeals revealed the eels5 had f>und her wexaal quarter.
The crew they were hard coses? y~u could see it in their faces
They took to frigging in the rigging9 for want of better places.
So drunk with exultation, we reached our China station
iind sunk a junk in a sea of spunk, caused b;y mutual nasterbati:>n.
The- Quartermaster was Pombor
He had a crashing member
On nights of frosty himself ho tossed
Before a glowing ember.
The Bosun's name was IIalker? he really was a corker5
Hie filthy sod had been in quod
Per dalliance with a porker.
77 Cc^ii't)
FRIGGIITG IIT KIE RIGGING (Con'-fc)
Once in a drunken frolick, the "bosun lost a bollock
With foul intent, en Mable bent, ho iir.pr.led it on a rowlock.
The ship's t^g name was Rover, by gad he was in clover
¥o gound and ground that faithful hound
Fror. Tenereofe tc ]>Tcr <,
Hie cabin boy "as pretty, it really is a pity
The things th^y did to that poor kid
Would quite upset this ditty„
The,y sailed to far ALgoric, to n.no wore the3" inferior
The pr^^titut's el ng the routes
Grew wearier and wearier 0
15^-02' made for the BE.hcr.cs, The haro 3 anl zonsnes
They did eschew that poucy crew
/aid juch preferred bananas e
They sailed to Buenos Aires, And laid Tfith all the fairies
They got the Syph at Tenereefe
iiiid clap in the Canaries *
Then, tired of this pollution, they sought for absolution
They upped the priest, the dirty beast
And broke their resolution.
At first the priest resisted, but then the crew insisted
And some burned ruin, beneath his bun
And soon his bollocks twisted*
Pray benidiction fur us, pour absolution O'er us
You shaggy shite, you shall recite
The Halleluja Chorus.
LYDIA PIEKAK 145
Chorusg Oh, we sing, we sing, we sing, of Lydia Pinkhnm, Pinkham,
Pinkham
And her love for the hur.au race
A wonderful compound, a dollar a bottle
And oveTj label bears her face.
Uow Mrs, Hrphy, had husband trouble, she did not like to fiddle-
de-dee
But after taking a bottle of compound, they had to tie her to a tree.
ITow Mrs D Murphy, hr d baby touble, she could not have a baby dear
But after taking a bottle of compound, they had to nilk her like a cow
Uow Mrs* Murphy, had kidney trouble, in the morning, she could not pee
But after taking a bottle of compound, t>ey hod to pipe her out to sea.
73
OLD GH3"3l" .7IVER I46
I was floaxmg d >wn tkct ;»lcl Green River
On the good ship rock and rye
But I floated too fcr
Got stuck ona bar.
Iras there all alones wishing that I were home
The ship vent clora with the captain and cre~'T
It loft no only one thing to do
I had a drink that old groen river dry
To g\_,t beck h ne Tj jm*
IH2 -JOCVTECKZEL (Tune- Dixie) 147
0h9 I stuck my finger in a woodpeckc os halo
And the tt) t?pecker said gjd bless your soul
Take it out9 take it out9 take it out9 tentire it.
So I removed my finger from the woodpeckers hole
ibid the wodpocker said God Bless my soul
Put it hock? put; it back9 put it hack? replace it„
I replaced my finger in the woodpeckers hole
Tiio woodpecker said God Bless nj s~ul
Turn it arrund,, turn it around9 turn it around9 revolve it*
I revived rij finger in the woodpeckers Hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
In-and-out5 in-and-outs in-and-out, rocriprocate it.
I rccriprccated my finger in the wo dpeckcrs hole
And the woodpecker said God bless ay soul
Pull it out 9 pull it out9 pull it out9 retract it»
I retracted my finger fron the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless oy soul
Trice a smell 9 take a smell 9 take a smells reveling,
VIOLATE IIE I48
Violate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that you know
To the best things in life
I an utterly oblivious
Give me a life that is lewd snd lascivious
Violate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that you know
Rwoge me 9 savage me
Utterly damage me
On P3 no ncrcy bestow
Violato re in the vi)lot tine
r b1 0 vilest -^3- tji--1- y v kr^~B
79
ROLL YO"JR LLG OVER 349
Oh, If ell little girls rere like fish in the ocean
Aid I wore r whale I "vald toach the." enotion.
Chorus s Oh roll your leg over- Oh roll your leg over
Ch roll your leg over the mm in the noon.
Oh3 if all little girls were like "bolls in the toiler
Xiid-1 ircre a clcpxDer I'd "bang by the hour
Ohj if e11 Little girls ^orc like fish in the river
And I i'vr3 a sandoer Ikl sure , ake daen quivec
Ohs if oil little girls -Tore ll£o sheep in the pasture
An J I 'Tore a ran I'd make then ran fester
Oh? if all little girls were liirc little white rabbits
Aid I 'were a nare I would tefch t.icn had he hits
Oh9 if all little girls were liko little red vixens
And I were a fox I surely would, fix fen
015 if all little girls ^ere like Hedy Lanarr
I*d try twice es herd to get bwico as far
Oh, if all little girls were liko cows in the clover
imd, I wore a hull I would, chese ther all over
Oh, if all little girls were liko little white flowers
And I was a bee I would "buzz the.": for hours
Oh, if all little girls were liko little white chickens
And. I was a rooster ITd give then the dickens
01, if all little girls were liko little ole turtles
And I was a turtle I'd. get in their girdles
Oh, if all little girls were like Gypsy Rose Lee
And I were her G-strin^ oh hoy w]-ir fc I'd see
Oh, if all little girls were like nurses who would
And I were a doctor I would, if I could
Oh, if all little girls were liko "bricks in a pile
And I were a nason I'd lay then in style
Oh, I wich that all girls were liko fish in a pool
And I TJ"ere a chap with a waterproof tool
If all little girls were like hats 111 the staple
Aid I were a bet, There 'd he nore o^ts th&:i porple
Oh., if all li^Tle girls Tare livc c.ion^nc.s end rubbles
iaid 1 were a jc^'lcr I'd polish cIot Woies*
30
TH3 PRETTIEST GIRL I EV3R S/JJ l^O
The pru'cticst girl I over saw
^Tas sipping bourbon through a straw
Tlie pre Titust girl I ever saw
"Was sipping b>urbon through a straw
And now rnd then the sxrc*- would slip
And I'd sip bourbj.i Through nor lips
And now IWe got a ^xher m l?w
Fro"-1 sipping b urb n through s straw
The orrl of ~his st^r^ !s cl^r
Don! b sip b^jj?n r3 sip b. r0
TL.3 B~36 151
The 3-36 flies at 40?000 feeb, th B~36 flies at 40?000 feeb
The B-36 flics at 40?000 feeT?
But ic only carries .no little Teensio wconsie b/rib
Tons rnd tons of arr am iti n? bens and bons of snpujiition
Tons rid tons of arnrjni feion,
,
But It only carlries ~ne little teensie "^onsic bonb,
/•
OH IT'S B2ER UZ31l? B23R 152
Oh itJs beer? becr5 bejr?
That u>akcs y u "cnx to cheer
In the Corps, in the Corps
Oh it!s beer5 bocrs "boor, >
Thct aakes you want to cheer
In the U.So Air, U..S. Air Force.
'
Choruss My eyes are din? I cannot see
Ihcve not brought my specs -rich no. ,
1
Whiskey - That makes you feel so friskey
Gin - Thct nckes y >u want b_, sin
"Vodka - That nekew 30U feel you ughta
Sautorn - Ther nskes y ur belly bum
"Ver.iou oh - That makes you feci uncouth
Bourb n - Tbrt T.ckcs y.u feel like cbirpin'
TTiiie - Thai, a cakes y u feel so fine
Run - ThcT iTifkes you feel so dunb
Rye - That nakes ym fool sj shy
Brcndy - That makes 5? ^u feel so dandy
Likkcr - Thct rekes JjVl ever sicker
Sherry - Thrx mcics ym feel so hciry.
Water - Tn.t ^i-k^s y u fool you oughter
Chartreuse - That nakes -j ur ~>orals loose
31
jckpo son/.iu 153
O1 rs o^a t "%! <= , I res suit bo tr~m
I lorx^u 1 d x K, -id a^J so djo, Fe- ^ eor plane
0 I T-o svi, ^rr ^arc > ud do a £ill *" too
B 0 oo."1 x t _ f^i3H }f shit _ "^ j v cPu. ;y^u srd you
1 k"^-> ^ fij -->r ilou i_ sr lie ^jn ins face
Jjnd ~i? iv s 1^ ->i c T cc,rd in s~j
1 fj^ixZ It- F F v ^F ^ ?L OF
CT ri F 5?1) IS /• 0>1 riNTE SQILDFOE" 154
31 F 5^3 "L F*1 no nquac1 1
nl 1 t=s 1 ^ u ., jr
B b f/hJ?^ -> "" s iF sc"1 1K.O c1 ^hib
F 1 Ho ~> * "1 n y j_ dt " jj
^ - <■ ^ -r,. u q F ^~ HFFJGF0 155
Ycjl ^jg, u to ue dT acu. iej 1 _>ik +
y v o^lit t % ui x o> w "io^r- x~ "> '""'-Iit noase
i/ic1 l^ft the1" Tf ^ am 1 ^ -31 r^o
IHg saT 11 t is ^rn c choix- f^x jpduj.s °nc "idots
I'VG STTDC1 T £IS ± If 8^ COL-1^
Iri/e smc\ j.t a^v. stick b9 so n I s~y fuck it;
My as=; l.U's n)i; ^"lo ^"ut of 00c1.
FCi?~S I t T>TjFFiF7ES 156
Ejgs j?j_ght, assholes tag1 x? f roski s u^ ti ^ front
TIeIr^ tk3 "bojo L^ -1 ke r ^-^ej ^c r_ al^a^s chrsmg cini
Fc a_G ^h.^ flio s of tic night? vc,r rather fuck th-ni fig^t
TTe ETC T, 13 f)f^AU fu^!Tl"VG3,
a nE ON IFF xlICE 157
ilhei che xce is on the r ^t, in Glr Ts-u_ki
/or"! bnc "Ovi ■'n bhc Collar =5 u^rts o^ F-czg
\IhQr) 3 -u turn t"> Lc^ and say? nFy c'erlirg dozo"
Then ^ou'-c tui^i^g 31st a sko<h.i xfipj) icse
TEE B.iLS JF OrLEiHI 158
(Tunc-Tne Bells f St Mary)
U g lIs qt Ok ~ry
^_?c Dai^tox^ ai tat-c r-c
Li1' c b°e o c of 3 b Pa ol
Ihc u oie al ^^ c t s^g tl a t 0r^ b olvsx^r
C° 1 ^_ _ ■*" C _°"^j !c5 "1 ^
82
THE 3-STIR]} Kim OF EFC-Ll£D I59
Oh uinstrels sing of a nighty king
Who many l'-ng years ago
Puled his land rfith an ir~n hand 7
But his nind was Tfoak and low*
I
His only under clothing was
L filming undershirt
It --70s long enough tj hide his hide
But never to hide The dirt*
He loved to hunt the r„,yai s jag
77i thin th.j r~yal "To 3d
But the s;r^t ho L ~od the host I all
fas xyullin ni° r~>yal pud 8
Wild and we^ly and full of fleas
His bcrrihle to si hung do^n to his moos
God save the hastard king of England*
Ifoir the queen of Spain iras a sprightly dane
And an. amorous dame ws she
And she loved to f :>ol xrith the r^yri tool
' Frcn far across the sc a
So she sent; a special nesscge
By a specie! messenger
hnd asked the royal bastarc'-Siiip
To suend the night a~j ih her0
rlhcn Phillip of Frcnee heard this
He summoned his royal court
Said she prefers ny rival
Just because ny t)^l is short
So he sent the Duke of Slip and Slap
To give the queen a &.>so of clap
ilnd thus avenged the bastard king of" Engl and
Vhen news of this f ul deed
Bid reach fair EnglandTs halls
The king he s¥.re by the shirt he wore
Hexs have old Phillip's balls
So he offered a night "ith the sect Hort^nse
To the ir.cn _'iho!d nud the king of Prance
Xnd thus avenge Che bastard king }f England
Up spoke the duke of Suffolk
He tool: hirsolf "to France
Declared himself a flutter
The ting t ~> >k d^on his pants.
63 (Conf-c)
rati bas tard icim of ehgl Ted (con»t)
/
. ■. ... /. ■
He dropped a thong around his dong
Jumped oh his horse and galloped along -
And thus avenged the hastard king of England'-
Bow Phillip assumed a royal stance
And.groveled on the floor
For during' the- ride his royal pride '
Had stretched a yard or more•
And all the girls in England
Game down to London town
And shouted around the castle
The hell with Snglands crown.
■So Phillip assumed the throne
His sceptes was the royal hone
With which he downed the hastard king of England.
ASS: HOLES ARE CHEAP TODAY 160
Ass holes are cheap today
Cheaper than yesterday
Little boys cost half a crown
Standing up or lying down
Larger hoys cost seven and six
Cause they take bigger pricks
Ass holes are cheap
Are cheap today-.
* i . . ■ .
TERES WHORES FROM CANADA JUICTIOIf lSl
Three whores walked down from Canada, Junction --
Full of brandy and wine
The topic of conversation was
Your cunts no bigger than mine»
Chorus s Roly poly tickly ..my holey
Slippery slimey slue.
Rattle your nuts across my guts
ITm one of the whorey crow;
The first old whore got up and said
My cunt' s as big as the air
The birds flying- arid the birds fly out
And never touch a hair.
The second old whore go up and said
My cunt's as big as the" moon
A man went in in January ,
And didn't come out till June's. '
84 (Con't)
TIRES "E0R3S FR01I C JJiDL JUTCTIOK" (Con* fc)
The third ^l'j. wh^re got up and said
Kan you!re ell talking "bells
Cause rlien I have my periods
It's liko ITiagra Falls.
SLLOm 162
Down cur street, we had a merry party
Everybody there was oh so gay and hearty
Talk about a treaty we ate all the no at
ilnd we drank all the be or.
In the bopzer d:>wn the street.
There was old Unole Joe, fair fucked up
We locked bin in the cellar with the d!^ bull piip
Little Sonney Jim, tried to g^t in in,
Tfith his ass hole winking at the m^on.
Oh Salono, salome
You should see Salome,
Standing there , with her ass all bare
Waiting- for someone to slide it in there
To slide it, and glide it
Right up her fucking chute
Two brass balls end. a prick of sbeal
jfcnd a foreskin, full of shit.
She's a big fat cow, twice the size of Lie
Hairs en her belly like the broncos :n trees
She can unp fight) fuck
"Wheel a borrow push a truck
Thatfs my girl Solome
On Monday night, she takes it up the back
On Tuesday night, she takes in all the slack
On Wednesday night, she has a spell
On Thursday night, she fucks liko hell
On Friday night, sho takes it up her nose
In between her fingers and down between her toes
On Saturday night, she dishes out gams
imd she goes to church en Sunday
She just wants De for a sunbeam
iind a fucking fine sunbeam I'll be.
GCII\TG H0IZ3 163
(Tune-Out on the Texas Plains)
I'm goona head my ship into the wide blue sea
With my nz&e into the west
I'm gonna find a gal that w. s neJe f>r no
I'm goona give her all my best.
85 (Con't)
GOING HOME (Con't)
(Tune-Out on the Texas PIr.ins)
ITm gonna no ad ny ship toward that -"Id west coast
Round Long Beech and L.A.
Znd when wo all got hone we will drirg c toast
To those long forgotten dsys
jtn ^,nna fiy -ii gLEij9 Itm gjnna fiy aii night
Toward that sotting sun
Jkid when thet good old o )ast lino loons into sight
Yiy work hes just ho gun
I'm gonna find a grl thct just donJt give c lorn
IrD gonna 1 itg her night end day
dzid if sho srys n^ no I fm gonna bwist hor arn
Oouse I !h gonna ge fc ny ;fc?y,
I!r, gonna drink myself into a total wreck
Ifr gonna love until I die
I got a pilots mind ans a flyer ?s rop
I couldn't be good if I tried,
So w.n't you just relax
For there is jne nore verso of the -things I'n gonna do
I knew that tines are bade, hut chey could be worse
So here's my parting w„,rd to you.
IJ11 ne'er forget this war until the &cj I die
Cause it's changed ny life's flight plan
iVnd when ny drys are o'er and ny tine clrcws high
I'n gonna die drunk if I canc
RIO RIO RIO 164
Chorus? Rio5 Rios Rio? Rio, Jesus Christ how I feel
Frjsh fr )m a shore rouse, prick full of steel
That's ny orgrn grinder,
Laid hor in her fathers hall
Spread her ass fr:n hall to hall
Shoved it up into her gall
With ny old organ grinder,
Fucked her in her fathers bed
Shoved it up into hor head
Fucked xhat girl till sho was deed
With nu old orgrn grinder
Followed her Xj the gurial ground
Just to go~an^thor round
Fucked hor as they lowered hor Ci-m
06 iC-vJt)
RIO RIO .RIO (Con't)
.■■..•!-■■■
Some folks say I am a knave: r
Say that I do not Behave
-
Cause I jacked off on er grave
•
With my old organ grinder.
•• OH MY GOD I65
Oh My God? we've all done wrong
Wo xve all "boon drunk for so GOD DIMM long -
And wo don ! t give a Jesus :,if it rains, hails or freezes
Let tho old mon. say what he GOD 'DIME ploasos
We're just a hunch of shitsters? a of "booze histers
FIGHTER PILOTS ALL
,/IW FLIGHT RBFLFLIWG .. , 166
(Tune-Strawberry Roan)
Oh come fighter pilots5 "both.young and old- ..:.-,.-
And I'll tell you a story, that '11 make' you turn cold. .;":;..-
A story of tankers ? and a. flight out to sea. .... , ' . .. .
And I hate to tell-you what, they did to me „. •• • ..-..■.'•
Oh we took off from George9 oh so early one morn
The weather wc s balmy," hut hot oreally warm- .■
We soon left the coast lino 9. and>headod to sea:
And for the last tine land I did seee
Oh wo flew on for hours9 it seemed like more . :-.,
We flow and we flow, till ray "butt it got sore .' /'J.
And we finally got to that point far from land . •
Whore there wore supposed to he tankers at hand
But yesj you have gussed it, no one was there
Uo thing around ? but ocean and air . . .
...
We called and we called;, but it was in. vain . ■ ,
: . '
There was n/oody out there to refuel my plane
Oh we circled and circled? and hollered for gas ...
Tho pain was begining, to leave my: ass . . ' T
1 Twas begining to puckers and turn a dull hue.- ,: . . .
When finally a tanker came into veiw,
Weil bygones were bygones/'and we didnTt bitch
We just latched onto, that son of a bitch
What ho, called the scanner, nitTs uner your wing
If you don't ho.)k up, uou likely will dingp'
Well I stabbed and I'stabbed and I stabbed some jnore A
But I couldnft hit? that dirty old whore ' ' . .
I looked at my gas gauge9 and it was down low
I backed aff again5 and tried it real slow*
8fA ^ (Con't)
IH FLIGHT REFUELING (Con't)
So I tried it real slow "boys, but that didn't .work
So I tried it fast again, what a holl of a jerk
The funnel it hit me, one hell of a "blow •
iis I looked at the cold water down there "bed:)i,
I looked at the water, so oold and so chilled
iaid .1 thought to myself, IT11 soon he killed
So Ird. better hook up, and take on some fuek
Cause that water below looks uncomfortably cool
So I finally did it, I hit that damn hose'
1 hit that old funnel,"right ■ square on rhw noaw-
The engineer said, t!3ir you1 re taking on fuel In
But the bastard was lying, the dirty old fool.
I called that damn scanner, said, "Turn on the gas
I. can't wait much longer, or I'll bust my ass0n
He looked up from his paper, and said with-, a grin .
nYou know there are days sir,; when you just can't win.
That's the end of my story, I'm sorry to say
That old F-100, lies out in the bay ".-..'■■••
But Ifll have my vengence, you can bet your life.
Cause ther's one tanker .pilot, that IJm going to knife.'
I LOVE OLD WUKF'.OPS 1M) FLYIMT SAFETY I67.
( Time-De ar ; He arts and Gentle 'People)
I love old Wing Ops, and Flying Safety
They1re nothing but hot axr .
But if you bust one, and hit the barrier
You know damn well that theyill be there
I read my dash one, from dawn till sunset
But it don't go so well -;
For when the bo&rd meets, and I go up there
I know ther're going to give me hell«
'
I feel so helpless, each tike I try to fly
For I know they'll watch each move I make
,
ilnd so it's Wing Ops and Flying Safety . .
Watching every rule I break.
SHO MS THE WiY TO GO HOME . .168
Show me the way to .go home •
ITm tired and I want to go_ to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
iind it went right to my. head
Whenever I may roam
;
88 (Con't)
°~o ,;•■ ~"TL ThdY TO GO HCFE (Con't)
On. ltiic t Sr -> r . o^n
You Txl_ elf ;>s ^crc to sinking b^is e mg
S-io"T tg tvc fey u-> co or3 .
Trdxce.be t ~~ey t' rxj~ cL^de
I n "ct-gircL. "^l I rent to retire
I lice1 i ^pc , of ^c^rege smty nnrtcs ego
.drd it _7c it rxg_it t^ nj cjrcoellcm
"however I r-e-y 0 ^ambuiate
Or ] oil ^ Scs" r cgi spnoric vapor
l^a e^-n cl" ys no r ~e cr. mn" cb 1 g -ijIt1-
o'-^-j — -*---> •*<->- ~ -j "~^_r *~ b 1'"'
333X1)7 169
3UD3i, Z5TJD3T, he/e a good tire
Scc_y m bod ii.ll he If past nine
Drink y or drx xk end Tdub your dub
86fi .fighter 0 tmtry club „
TI02T3Y 170
01i9 Hocy*, H noy, 31ess sour heart
Ccuse y u " o -he 1 ney thet I love s > well
lry hear j bee'uS tns5 stec the rro r-r jOU
Cause ) ,rr ore honey thru I 1 ove so iTell.
C0C_IO STJE 171
Oh Lorphxro Sil1 Old. Cocaine Sue
Trockin1 J^u: doe evv.rue
Choruss Oh h uiey neve a sniff? have a sniff ^n nc
Oh n^ney have a sniff c 1 nc ■>
FoTf right on dxoachreyc, left ni -rn
To get a shot <-f Did cocaine
Uov m that drugstore hong a sign
Tie ain't got m ir re r rphoie
In c greveqerd ^r a hill
Lies ubc re c ins of Forphnne 3d 11.
did 111 the u grrveycrc1 o~ his side
hie the remains „f his c^crre bnce
To-t ~he -1 rel ~f this story jus c g^es t soo"
Tl ~re ein' , n ^aii 11 sniffm' srevo
&9
LSES HOOCHIE
172
(Tune-On Top of Old Snokoy)
I went to Seoul City, and net a Miss Leo
She said for a short ti:.e? oh cone sleep with no
We went to Lecrs hoochie? a roon with hot floors
I left :iy shoes outside, and slid shut the door.
She took off her long johns? and rolled out tho pad
I gave her ten thousand,, 'twas all that I hod
Eer breath sncllus of kinchie, her bys:ns ^ore flrt
Ho hair on her pussy9 rn¥ vh^t chopt thrt,
I asked to go henjo, she let re outside
I reached f ^r old snekey, he crawled "brck inside
I r ashed to the medics, cried, "That shall I do l*f
The doo was dumfoundeds old snokoy was "blue«
Sow when you're in Seoul City, on your next three day'pass
Donft go to Lee's Hoochie, sit flat on your ass
l?ow your ass ny get blistered, and Lee nay tenpt y >u
But better the rod ass, then old snokey blue n
THE COED i'JH) TEB CidOET 173
The Coed and the Cadet were c urting I declare
Down by the gate they didn't know that I was there
Oh the Coed she was hashful and the Cadet he was shy
Heasked her if he could and this was her reply
You can do it if you wanna
But yourd better do it right
You'd hotter not do it
Like you did the otk^r night
Cause if you do, I'm telling y^u
I'll never let y^u do it again
I rally mean it
I'll never let y ,vl do it again.
k lllM WITHOUT L ^OJLJtf 174
A nan without a woman
Is like a ship without a sail
Is like a hoat without a rudder
Like a kite without a tail.
L nan without a woman
Is like 0 wreck upon the sand
But if there's one thing w ^rse in the universe
oq (ConJt)
/ V'iH 7IIE0UG? /_ '101113 (Con»t)
XVs a Ton'm, I sell a w^nan
T no en a r ^m ,Tioh._ui a irn.
For yi a can re 11 a silver dollc?r
Cross the bcr re cm floor
incl it will roll, because i"s Is round
And a woman never kn ws what ? go^ci ncn she's got
Untill she turns bin down.
So kney listen,, no"J hMiey listen to xie
I want y~u to understand
Tha'j rs a silver dollcr g3es ir ii hrnr1 t) hand
jL "un~n g cs fr ;n ran to nrii0
red scarps 175
(Tute-Strawherry Blonde )
Pbw the 12th fighter squadron they don1^ show me much
Tlhilo the Red Sorrfs fl;y
Their technique is "bad end their bombing is sad
T'TIiile the Red Scarfs fly-
Their guns are corroded? their pilots arc 1 >aded
'Their cockpits are covered with clus b
They fly for awhile 5 "but they am1 n got no style
"^hile the Red Scarfs fly
BO YOU OF WI SISTER TILLY 176
Do y_,u ken uy sister T'illy
Shcfs wh^re m piccadiliy
And ny nether is the sene upon the strand
And ny father sells his ass hole
ii.t the Elephant and Castle
¥e:re the finest whoring frmly in the l?nd„
I'hen you wake up in the n jrnmg
With your hends upon y >ux knees
And the shadow ^f y /jr penis wn the well
And the hrir a-growing Thick
Between your ass h)le and y;ur prick
And the ra"cs ere plrying smoker wi b^ y^ur bells.
TEE CEEETAS 177
Oh it Is ecsy to see itrs n^t xhe roosters
For the r sxrrs ~nly cr^w
And it is ecsy to see it's .1-"u the cobras
P-r the oo"hr?s ne~r(3T put r svoh 0 -p ne'e-rful show
91 (Con't)
THE OHEETAS (Cm't)
Oh it is easy tc sco it's njt the f-xes
For the f^xos cro to, few
Oil it!s easy tc soe? who else could it be
But the C!ice"cas? every tine.
liUSTiJfG'S RUIT BY IIESLIlf 178
Mustang's run by llerliru and Mori in *s run by ne
I on run by (Sq CO) 9 and he con clir:b a tree
Oh we'll all hang )ld (Sc C0)g to the t p of the "e >le
IjicI we111 all be h >ne by Christ,:ra-
in a pigs ass hole
iSqj30)_ is run by (ffg CO,)end j^CO run by iJ) CO
rjLQQ. I"u::1 ^y -^ CQ kn~ws where he can go
Oil we'll hang old hF CO on the top -f The pjlo
hiid we'll ail bo none by Christnos
In apig ass hole.
THE CiiTDLE SOFG 179
All the nice girls love a candle
Cause a candle hes a wick
/did there's something about a candle
'That reninds then of a prick
Hice and greasy,, slips in easy
It's the maidens pride and joj
You can hear then sing and hout
lis they pop it in and out
Ship /lioyl Ship Zihoyl
iiRIGATO FOR THE IffiMORIES 180
(Tune-Thanks 1 ,r the Memories)
irrigate f ^r the memories
Of train wrecks en the line
Of Ginza marts and h ney carts
Jirigato? so much*
Zurigato for the memories
Of steaks we couldn't eat
Old loft jver neat
Of powdered milk and girls in silk
Kiraonas on the street
hxigatoy s_ nuc-i.
Few ere the tines we've feasted
/uid nany's the xii e we !ve fasted
R and it's \7hTs swell while they lasted
\1q did "neve fun, cnL n harn l^zic *
92 (C^n't)
ARIGATO FOR TEE MEMORIES (Con't)
So Arigato for the memories"'
Of special allied oars
All the different bars _ ■■ ' ' ~. ' '
Of whiskey cSkoi-and dirty jokes'; ' '. '
Arigato? so much,, " ' : ■'" '
'
iirigato for the me-n'orred- ' ■.-..■.•■■■:.
Of dead fish on the shore
Rats behind the dooer -; -■:"'■■='■ . ? • ■ '•'■■
The Xamakura ;luka^ and brocades that;we all wore
iirigato so much*
Arigato for the memories
Of snacks at the PX
All those talks on sex :^:J ;
The broken'bones we suffor:ed? in Takusan jsepo wrecks'
iirigato so much.,
.■ ■,-■•:'■ -,;v. .= .'■ .'-' ' '-: ' ■ ■ :■■"'■■■■ ' ■:■-:- ■ o . ' ■ ■' 'ii
¥e say heilo',;with 'm-artini rs ; ■' ' '" '
•■•■...:.■!
We1!! say sayonara with saki '
■■'' ■'•
The Japs won't forget all that khaki -'' ■ •
Honshu!s not the'same 5biit; wg !ro glad we came'
"
iirigato so much*
Ariigkto for the memories
•
Of lanterns after dark
Rickshaws in the park ' ''"'■'
The funny names5 the' baseball games ■'■'
So iirigato, so much.
■;. - . - - ■■■. . ■..-..!. -; ■■•- .-!-■
I
.'■'■'■■ ■ ■■ ' ■ - '■■ '■.■■' .• •
■■'••■r ': ; ALRALSS' ' . ■ '■" ? - ::H '•,:•:...■■'.-
!8i
■ ..■." ■ • .■
As the blackbirds in the spring ' •
r
Neath the willow tree
Sat and piped the song they sang. •-"•'•"" ■'
Singing Auralee^" ■■ \ : ' :' o'-
Auralee—Auralee—Maid with the''golden hair
■ ' • ."..
Sunshine came along with- thee '
And shadows in your hair»
TELL ME ¥HT 182
Tell me why? the- ivy twines " ;
Tell me why, the stars do shine
Tell., me why,, the ocean's blue
I'll' tell you why, it's becaus'e I" love you=-
Because God made? the ivy twine
Because God mado? the stars to shine
Because God inadey the oceans blue
Because God made yous is why I love yrcu
93
31TTL3 HIKE" 183
(Tunc-Sottie Hyrn of the Republic)
To fly ourfucking Sabres ar 10?000 fucking feet
He fly our fucking Sabres through the rein and snjw and sleet
.And though we think we're flying south
Fefrc flying fucking n rth
ihid we make our fucking landfall on the firth of fucking forth*,
Ch-russ Gl>ry? glory halleluia? Glory s Gl^ry Halleluia
Gl)Xj? Glory Hrlieiui^j (insert lest line each verse).
"c fly th se fucking Sabres ab fjck all ls000 feet
7e fly th.se fucking Sabres fchrcugb. the tr-^3 -rid o )Pn a-^ wheat
iond -chough we think wc fly with qkill
We fly TTith fucking luck
But we donrt giro a fucking cami ^r orre a fucking fuck«
Tfe fly th>se fucking sabres at 10?000 fucking feet
He fly tIdsc fucking Scbres through the rain and snow and sleet
Xnd though t;9 think we're flying up
TFe're flying fucking djwn
Znd we busb our fucking asses when we hit the fucking ground„
SPZMSH GUITiJR I84
Oh the fir3-3 p <rx of call it iTas trlcn9 Aden
Hhere the girls weuldn'T screw? but we node !em Made 'en
Choruss Three dollars y.u pay? £.x a bang up erch way
And 6, tunc on a Spanish Guitar plink? piink? pi ink
Singing Hi-ziggy-ziggy? fuck a little piggy sideways
Swish-swich
My idea ^f a w rzn is a big frt whjre
Shit~bang? Fuck-STick
Three dollars y u pay, f:r a bang up erch way
Xnd a tune m a Spanish Guitar piink, piink, plink
Oh the next port j>f orll it was 3^eb^n? BosTon
Fhere the girls woulclnTt scrBr, but we f reed 'en, forced rem.
Oh the noXX pjrt „f call it was Heine9 Kalta
"Fhcre the girls -^iildn't but eugVcfa? oughxa
Oh the next pjrt of call it wes Su">on? Suw n
whore the girls they wjuld c1 :> it for twj w n? tnr^ won
a z-:d Tiih gr, ss 185
In The toll tall gross
y\uno Mai3- lay a-slcepii-g
"lien >ut f t^o Tali gj. se
04 (C nrfc)
IF 7HS Till GRASS (Con't)
A pilot ociie a-creeping
With, his long dingle dangle Singling
Right cloim -go his kneo -
Three nontlas irve gjne by
Young Mary she greir colder
She Fished that the pil-t
Would cc-no and d., it jvor
With his long dcngle dingle dingling
Six m nths have go no "by
And MarT sh,3 -^vc_»;r fitter
Tht, naigbb as fiJ r nhor
Just; *'Tli" had been. at; he1'*
With his long dangle dandle din^lirg
Right dc "i tj his knee *
Fine rriiths have g no by
And Mary bus c r stands r
And out jurrped a pilot
With his 67th nufiber
With his skoshe dangle dingle Wangling
Right d^im. to his knee «
IH3 IvLJD OF TS3 1I0U1TTAIW 186
The naid of tho rountain
She pissos like a little fountain
Cause tho hairs on her dickie-di-doo
Hang do mi to her knees
One blaok ono? one "vrhits one
And one vith a little shite ^n
Cause tho hairs on her dickie-cli~doo
hang dctm to her knees
There's red one? there's a cherry -^ne
There's one "with a dingle-berry on
Cause tho hairs -n her dickic-di-doo
Hang dov:i to her knees*
I've been there, I've seen it
I've boon right between it
Cause tho hairs jn her dickie-di—doo
Hang dem to her knees,
I've snolt itJj I've felt it
And it feels just like velvet
Cause tho hairs ,n her didkie-di-doo
Hang dotm to her knees.
95 (Ccn't)
THE ILJD OF THE KOUNTiJ.^ (Con't)
I've tangled? I 'tg dangled
I 'vo fucking near g^t strangled
Cause the hrirs on Tier dickie-di-d~>o
Hang down i:> her knees0
BYE BYE BLACKBIRD I87
(Tune-Bye Bye Blackbird)
There was a nsn? he was n: good
He tosk a girlie in The w ;cS
He flies :.rustrngs
Then he te^k off all her cl_~ch.es
And her slices5 and her h~>se
He flies llus tangs
He took her where nobody ulse cculd find her
Took a string and tied her hends "behind her
Walked away and began to sing
Began to sing? ting-a-ling
Mustangs5 I flyB
SEPBSQA
(Don't: ask r.e what that; "i-oriis— I don't kn^w either) 188
Ohy I loved her and I kissed her in the monlight
And the .lojn sh me "bright ail day
0h9 I loved her and I kissed her in The nconlight
And the noon shone bright all day
Gol darn that iTioon.
- MOTHER HUTJ1PERS BALL I89
(Tune-DarkTown Strutters Ball)
Oh there's gonna "be a hall at the Mother Humpers Hall
The ""itches and the "bitchesgonna he thox-e all
I\Fow honey don't he late^ civsq they're passing out pussy? bout half
past eight
How I've humped in France and I've hunped in Spain
I've heon humpin' ->n the coast of Kaineh „j
But the host piece I ever saw
Was when I humped ny nether in law
Last Saturday night at the Ikther Huripors Ball
TWO LADIES 7EKD COFFINING 190
(Tune-River Shrnnon Flows)
Two ladies wore ©offifiding
On e streetcar where ih€>y~ were riding
Oh t_icy fust have been school teacher9
T-ioir 0 nversaTi^i ran irh-T "~\-y (Can't;)
36
T:vO L.JDI3S 'fZJRS C01FIDIHG (Con't)
(Tune-River Shannon Flows)
On said, "How many children do you have"
Slio replied, "I've thirty thank yjii"
And when the sane was asked the other
She said "I've got thirty two"
l£i old, Irish Lady, seated across the aisle
SaidTI neard y.>ur conversation
ind I greet y:u with a smile
You mist have been grand ladies
To have had so many babies
But your husbands must have one fron
"Where our River Shannon flows e
MIMIS TE3 HEHMAID 191
Ifeny^s the night I spent with Hinnio the Mermaid
Down at the bottom of the sea
Minnie lost her norals, down there among the corals
Geo, but she was nighty nice to me
Bow niany's the night with the pale noon shining
Down on her seaweed bungalow
Ashes to ashes, dust, to dust
Two twin beds and only n of then mussed.
¥ow you can easily see, she!s not oy mother
Because my mother's forty nine
And you cm easily see, she's not my sister
Because I wouldn't show my sister
Suck a hell-uv-a good tine
And you can easily see, she's not riy serrtheart
Because my serrtheart!s too refined
She's just a peach jf a kid
She never knew what she did
She's just a personal friend of nine0
GLORIOUS 192
Fow the first thing they prayde for
They prayed for their king
Glorious, glorious, glorious king
If he have one son. May he also have ten
May he have a fuckon army, cried the airmen, Amen.
Chorus? Kow the Squadron Leader and the Wing Commander
And the Group Captain too
Hands in their packets eith fuck all to do
Robbing the pay of the poor Axwy-Due
May the lord shit you sideways
Cried the airmen fuck you.
97 • (Con't)
GLORIOUS (Con't)
Fow the next thing they prayed for
The prayed for their Queen
Glorious, glorious? glorious "Queen
If slie have one daughter, nay she also have ten
Fow the next thing they prayed for
They prayed for their "beer
Glorious 9 glorious 5 glorious ? beer
If we have jne beer? may we also have ten
May we have a fucking brewerey9 cried the airmenc Amen
drum: 193
Drunk lesr night? drunk the night Before
Gcnna get §.runk t >night? as I've ixovot "been drunk before
Cause when I'm drunk9 I'm as happy as can be
Cause I am a member of the souse fanily.
Fow the souse family Is the best family
That ever came over from old Germany
There!s the Highland Dutch? and the Lowland Dutch.
The Rotterdam Dutch and the Goddamn Dutch.
Singing Glorious9 Gl>rious
One keg of beer for the fcur of us
Glory be to God that there are ud more of us
For one of us could drink it all alone? Damn Fear
Here's to the Irish9 dead drunk --—-.—— The lucky stiffs,
KARRI Gil? 194
E—-A, Double R—-15 G—-A—F spells Harrigan
Sure I'm proud of all the Irich that's in me
And a devil a man can say a work agin1me
H—A, Double R—I, G—A—H? yju see
That's a name to which no shame has ever
Been connected with Harrigan? that's me <>
KEYHOLE IF THE DOOR 195
I left the canteen early, it wes shortly after nine
And by a strjke of fortune, her room was next to mine
Like any brave "Columbo" with regions to explore
I took up my position by the keyhole in the door,
Chorus § 0h5 the keyhole in the doer? oh? the keyhole in the door
I took up my position by the keyhole in the door.
98 (Ceii't)
'xSJZOLU IS THE DOOR (Con't)
SIig crossed o.,-»~ co bhe iirepxaoo her lively figure to warm
Fith cniy a silken nighty to Lido her gorgeous from
I preyed inrt she wouic1 Tories it off ? just that and nothing more
By, God? I caw hc-r do it chr-ugh the keyhole in the door,
Now after reny §, poi ending upon that paneled dooar
ind after ne^ry a- pleading? I crossed that threshold floor
iind so no pie would ever see what I had seen before?
I -erjg her si]ken nightie ofer tne keyhole in the door»
Taat nigh~ I slept in clover and other things "besides
r±J n Vr>- : s/ ^w -fTliite boson I ha:L a Jo 3-0 us ride
7 a"u^ nozu iTijriing 3trly? iv h-ck ic was so sore
Tor • d +na:i'<- I -pel been cradling bbrough the keyhole in the do°r,
K^w li, t-n all y u astronomers "ho think you are so "rise
">li) gV7-- tA> th 3" jut j cng telescopes into tiie starry skies
One Tiling I have oo tell you? one thing and nothing nore
Tour J^icseopos are 1,Tbgger Zll" to the keyhole in the door.
KHIFFUNPOOF SOFG 196
To the croles down at Maury's3
To the plcOu TThcre Louie dwells?
To the dear old Temple Bar ve loved so "well
Sing the "Chiffenoooxs assembled
Tvith their girsscs raised on high*,
laid the nagle of their singing casts a spell9
Yes- the magic of bheir singingOf
Of the songs "3 l.ve so well,
''Shall I wa^t:ng" one. Kavouinee" and the rest0
TJe will sereraoe our Louie
While life and yjjee shall last
Then we'll prss and pe forgotten like the rest,
">Te are poor litcle lambs wh' hrvo lost our wey9
Baa? baa? baa
"fe are poor li-.ie blaock sheep who have gone astray
Baa? baa? baa,,
Gentlemen songsters off on a spree,
Damned from here to eternity.
God hpve mercy on such as we9 '
Baas baa; baa«
FUXECULE FLTICOLA 197
Last night I stayed up late t, mas turbo be .
It felt so good—I knew It would
Last night I stayed up late to be" c nv neat
It felt so nice--I did it twice«
00 (C;nTt)
FOEICULS FTOTCULA (C-n't)
lou should really see ne on the short; strokes|
It feels so grand? I use my hand*
Tou must really catch no on the long strokes §
It feels so neat? I use my feet,
Shake it? break it? "beat it on the floorf
Smash it? hash it? thrust it through the doorj
Some people seem to think that fucking!s grand?
But for all around enjoyment I prefer to use my hand,
SIXIEFJT TIWDS 198
( Tuno-S i:rue en tons)
Some people say a man is made out of fear?
But a fighter pilotfs made out of whiskey end beer—
Whiskey and beer? rum and rye?
If you fly the dot your sure to spin in.
Chorus% Tou fly sixteen times? That dT you get
Another day older and your weapon is "bent*
Col Do liaison don't you call me ? I'm weak and lame
I lost my ass in a ^okcr game,
I woke one morning when the sun didn't shine
Got my 'chute and went down to the line
Down to the line to fly the "D"
But it was raining so hard I couldn't see.
I scrambled one morniMg with blood in my eye^
I'd had my fill of overholt rye —
Shot sixteen holes in a T~33
They're going to hang my ass from a coconut tree„
When you see me comin' better break to the right
"Cause the 6,6th. Fighter had a party last ringt—
My eyeballs are red an' I'm moan as a bear,,
Believe me musketeer? better clear the air„
I USED TO TTORK Ilf CHICAGO 199
I used to work in Chicago? in a department store
I used to work in Chicago? I did but I don't enj more
A lady came? she asked for a hat
I asked her what kind she adored
Felt she said? and felt her I did
I did but I don't any more
cake - layer Glue - Paste Food - Pet
Lamp ~ Floor Cream - Fbssage Hasor - Injector-
Birds - Lo-re GirJle - PuY-^r Scarf - ITeck
10J
IT'S TRAGIC 200
You smile your Tee th'f all out, your hair snells liko sauerkraut
It's 'Tragic
The bugs desert the air, and rush to nestle in your1 hair
It1s tragic
It takes ono look tc know you heve no charms
You1re just a "bag of bones T'Tith long surrounding eras
Your eyes are "big and round
Therers one that's blue and one that's brown
It's Tragic
You part your hair in place
And it keeps sliding do-r. your face
It!s Irrgic
And ^3 telliiyself \ Those tilings that happen are not really brue
Yot XT ry heart I know the tragedy is really you*
IlhTO EEE jlJR 691RS 201
Into the air 69ors,
Into the air upside sortie
Into the air 69ors,
Set your sights and let's go down, we'll all go down.
Md when we see those bastard. Commies,
And we nalfe then shit a pound.
Your can bet those 69ers
Are all going sown
Into the air 690rs
Onto your back, soixenxe-neufn
Tfe'll blast those TlIG's 69ers»
And watch their ass go Poof , Poof, Poof«
And when ycu see those, "Golf-balls" flying»
And the flak begins to blast„
You can bet the 69ers
Will bite 'en in the ass,
HORSB SHIT 202
There was e pilot of great renown,
There was a pilot of great renown,
There was a pilot of great renown,
Until ho fucked a girl from our town-
Fucked a girl from our town—
Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit.
He laid her in a feather bed,
He laid her in a feather bed, he laid her in a feather bed,
And-then-he Twisted out her maidenhead
Twisted out her naidenhead—
Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit, (Con't)
J-V/J-
HORSE SKIT (Conn)
He laid her or a Trincing stair,
He laid her oh p -finding steir,
Hg Isid her on a winding stair,
And-thon-ho shoved it in clc-ar up to there-
Shoved it in clear ap to there—
Ha, ha ha5 ho he ho, horse shit,
He laid her down beside a stump,
He laid her down he side a stump,
lie laid her down he side a stump,
And-then-he hissed her cunt and split th^ s iunp—-
Misled her cunt and split the stump--
Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, hors^ shit-
He laid her down he side a pond,
Ho laid her dot\n "beside 3 pond,
He laid her down heside a pond,
And-the-he fucked her -with his magic wand,
Fucked her with his magic wand—
Ea ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit*
He laid her on the dewey grass,
He laid her on the dewey grass,
He laid her on the dewey grass,
And—theii=ho shoved the old "boy up her ass
Shoved the old hoy up her ass
E^a ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit.
He took her to the countryside,
He took her to the countryside,
He took her to the countryside
And-then-he fucked the girl until she died,
Fucked tne girl until she lied,
Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, horse shit,
He took her to the burial ground,
He took her to the burial ground,
He took her to the burial ground,
And-then-he thought he'd have another round
Thought heJd hrve another round
Ha ha ha ha, ho ho ho---------HORSE SHIT, HORSE SHIT.
Rim THE BELL, 7ERC-ER 203
Ring the hell, Verger, ring the bell ring-
Perhaps the congregation will condescend to 3ing
Perhrps the fucking organist sitting on his stool
Will play the fucking orgrn end n;t -'i-ch his tool „ (ConTt)
Rim THE BZLL, YERG3R (Con!t)
dp ha chc jolday doII ringer stands,
G"?crt ficking ^r._ck In lucking great hands.
"Tion fror. 'he pulpi s preacher yells,
is3to_3 eul1 r>g pud and start pulling bells'".
Out ii> the garage chauffeur lies
iTictr^F - ifc. o jt»ioonf]iis thighs
Tierces ooi cc copies iron afar
"Stop fucking ^i^o and sxnrt fucking cnS"
Out in "die p-uitr- butler si~cs
^OkIz an has Ird ~aoc a-'plcjin1 with h^r bits
"kji. f„ 1 , ire /ia~cl:'rx jii stress squeals*
1 &I00 t -3K: -17 cod; ar'L en ok fudki.i ., a^alsT'
LTTTLT kC LIGHT 204
1 'Iune-"j}r7 "blue Heaven'1)
/" tuan Lo tke ,.1^0, a liuulo re 1 light, "will lead you to my re haven
''ou'il see a smiling face on a pill^rc-so? a form devme.
TuM.t a 1"ttl^ old mare who's baen scroted before?
L thousand tires.
Justt Holly and res th rhll never ho three*
"To 'ko oaref 1 in out rs hav^n*
DO TODP BZLLS Hidkd LOW 205
(Tune dfarch of bhc Toy Soldiers)
Do your halls h.ng lu¥? do thoy swing tj> and fro
Can you tii them in a kn~>"w can you tie Tem in a how
Can you tuDw them oJer your shoulder like c' European Soldier
Do your halls hang lowe
In days of old when knights uere "bold,
■d-oy shit right; in their britches,
The wiped their ass with broken glass
Those thoughtless sons of bitches e
In days of old "when knights were bold3
.And woman w_ re mere trifles
They hung their balls -upon the walls
laic, shot them ^own wi en rifles.
_n C-C)? of old Then knights were hoick.
1<xiC^ "c^n "'cxcn'x particular.,
Tiie/ "i rked ~hcm up aginst the wall
ind fucked, then perpendicular*
In cays of old when knights were bold?
They "c^e a"1! leather britches?
'ike tea-, thair pricks with hickory scicks
' aa "SS d l""ke s^is °f "niic _es c
10d
VIRGIN STURGEON 206
(Tune- Ruben, Re "ben, I've been Thinking)
Caviar comes from a virgin sturgeon
Virgin Sxurgvon is a very fine fish
Virgin Sturgeon needs no urgin'
That!s Thy caviar is my dish*
Shad Roe ccr.es from a scarlet shad fish
Shad fish have a very sad. fate
Pregant shad fish is a sad fish
G*t that way without a mate *
Osyters they are fisny "bivalves
'They ave youngsters in their shell
How they diddle is a riddle
But they do so what the nell*
The green sea turtle fs mate is liappy
Arith her lovers winning /ray
First he grips her with his flipper
Then he flips the grips for days
Mrs clam is optimistic
Shoots her eggs out in the sea
Hopes her suitor is a shooter
Hits the selfsame spot as she <,
Give a thought to th© 'ticQ'oj codfish
Always there when duty calls
Female cod fish is an odd fish
From her come your cod fish halls„
The trout is just a little salmon
Just half grown and minus scales
But the trouts just like the salmon
Oan!t get on without his tail0
Luckiest fish are the com an stardish
When for offspring they essay
Yes my hearties they have parties
In the good old fashioned way*
I fed caviar to my girl friend
She was a virgin tried and true
ITow that virgin needs no urgin
There ain't nothin' she wonTt do.
I fed caviar to my grandpa
He was a man of ninety three
Screams and s hrieks were heard from grandma
He had chased her up a tree.
I fed caviar to my grandma
She came down out of that tree
lTo~~ my grandma and m~\~ grandpa
S"usr~3 to raise a iamity locn't;
104
VIRGIN STURGSOW (Con't)
I fed some caviar to hit rooster
I fed some caviar to my cow
ITow the barnyard sure looks funny
ill the xows iiave feathers now,
JOIX THE AIR FORCE 207
Chorusi Oh, why did I join the air Force
Mother dear. Dear mother knew best
Here I lie beneath a wreckage
A sabre jet over mj chest3
l\Tow when you are out on a mission
A IHG I9 makes a fine pass
Reach over squeeze both of mose nanales
Hie hell with the ship ?<ave your ass*
PILOTfB EZLJm 208
(Tune- Ghost Riders in the Sky)
As we were flying through the sky
One bright and sunny day,
We spied a big black thunderstorm
Alying in our way-
Fly right on through, the colonel said,
"We do most anything,
And now we're up in heaven
- And hear the angels sing*
Oh itfs so very nice up aere
Away up in the sky,
There no one here with hen-house ways
There Is no Til'
The food is good, the C0TS swell
We have no need to fear,
There's no such thing as 0CS-—-
We all wear wings up here«
As we looked down on earth one day
We saw a gruesome sight,
It made our blood run very cold
It turned our livers white,
The whole command from Omaha
Was headed up this wayc
We called our lord before us
And all knelt down to pray*
The General told our boss, the Lord,
Ifow this is not a prank,
He shouted in a might voice
Just what's your date of rank I
,
The lord sat there—his head was bowed,
The General shouted clear
There's just not room in heaven
For two COfs up nereI (Conrt)
105
PILOT'S EBiYElf (Coii't)
'The lord he oalledus *fore the "throne
And these last words he said,
Your tour up here is done, my hoys
Tour might as well he dead,
Tie * 11 send you out on PCS
Bui names we cannot tell?
One half to go Three nine o six,
The other half to E-"E-L-L.
BMG IT 1170 LULU 209
Chorus 2 Sang i fc into Lulu
Bang it good end strong
"That'll we do for hanging
"Then Lulu!s dead and gone«
Uish I ¥as a pisspo b
Under LUIu!s hed
Every time she stooped bo pee
ITd see her maidenhead.,
IIish I was a finger
On Lulufs little hand
Every Time she wiped her ass
ITd see the promised land,
Lulu had a bah"
She had it on a rock
She couidn'T call it Lulu
1 Cause the "bastard had a cock,
Lulu had a bahy
She named it Sonny Jin
She threw It in the pisspot
To teach it how to swin
LasT time I saw Lulu
I haven't seen her since
She was suckin' off a tiger
Through a barbed wire fence »
IF THT SPTilFGTIIIS 210
In the springtime, in the springxime
In the springtime of yore
I met a young lady who looked like a ---
Darling young maiden, as she lay in the grass
And gently rolled over to show me her—
Liamons and Bracelets and lettle pet duck
.And told be she'd teach me a new way to ——
Bring up my children and teach them to knit
While farmers in barnyards were shoveling out -~
Feed for their horses and cattle and siieep
In the springtime, in che springtime
In the springTime so sweet.
106
THE COMMIES LAM3FT 211
(Tune- Clementine)
Onee a flier, do or ctier, in his faithful Sabre true
After bitchin, flew a mission, to the town of Sinianju
Still in flight he, say seme mighty Russian MIG's upon his tail
Ifith a quiver5 and a shiver, he let out an awful wail.
Chorus s Sayonsra, Sa.yonara, Sayonara, Ah So Des
If you find r.ie, .lever mind, me,
I will he an awful mess <,
Then a Iv us tang, went in "busting, Just to see what; he could do
But alas, he made a pass and that was all, they got him too
Thought an 80 I'm so greet ne'll never get a shot at me
Tfasr f t gore long when his swan song
Sounded just like chis cc me e
Then a Thund.er Jet who hadn't hlundered yet
Thought he'd try it all alone
Like a blotter hit bhe water, sliock the hand of Lavey Jones
So the tallj/ in MIG alley isn!t ojiite like all the claims
But as a fair course to the Axr Force
Fe won't mention any naiaes0
OLD OTZBER xTIl^E 212
Twas a dark and storey night, not a star was in sight
All the Mustangs here tied down to bhe line
When in rain up bo bis ears, stocd a lonely volunteer
"With his orders to fly old. number aine »
His ass was racked with pain as he climbed into his plane
And his bung hole was puckered fit to tie
And. he whispered a prayer as he climed into the air
For he knew that this was hi s night to die ,
As he flew o'er Haga-ru he could see a school or two
And the women and children very well
But how was he to know that hefd fly s^ Goddamned low
That his bomb blast would blow his ass to hello
In the wreck he was found thinly spread, out on the ground
And the crunchies they raised his weary head
w"ith his life almost spent here's the message that he sent
To his buddies who!d be sad to see him dead*
I used an 8 to 10 delay but it didn't work out that way
Fiihout a tail an P4"J won't fly
Tell the Skippe-" for me, that he now has twenty three
He can roll up the ladder—Semper ?i.
COOL 213
I'm as cool ss the tip of an es^im^'s "col
I^a as cool as a fis!h ii a frozen pool
Cool as a p-le o^ fi^sty glass
SAM HOUSTON 214
A "big "black bull cane down iron the mountain
Ho us to n y S am Ho us ton
A "big "black bull came down from the mountain
Long time ago
Long time ago o o o ? Long time o o o
A big black bull cane down from the mountain
Long time ago
Ee spied a heifer in the pasture grazin
Houston? Sam Houston
He spied a heifer in the pasture grazin
Long time ago
Long time ago o o o? Long time ago o o o
He spied a iaeifer in clie uasture grazin
Long time ago„
Ee jumped that fence and he jumped that heifer
Houston? Sam Houston
He yumped that fenGe end he yumped that heifer
Long time ago
Long time ago o o o? Long time ago o o o
He jumped that fence and he yumped that heifer
Long time as"0 o
He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture
Houston,, Sam Houston
He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture
Long time ago
Long time ago o o c5 Long ago o o o "
He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture
Long time ago.
The big black bull went back to the mountain
Exhaus te d, Exhaus te d
The big black bull went back to the mountain
Long time ago
Long ago o o o, Lono, time ago o o o
The big black bull went back: to the mountain
Long time ago.
I AIH'T GOT 210 USE ?0H THE HOniHT 215
I ain't got no use for the women?
A true one can never be found
They'll use a man for his money
1-Ihen it's gone9 they111 turn him down
They're all alike at the bottom
Selfishj and grasping for all
They'll stick by a nan when he's winning
And laugh in his face at his fall.
I once knew a young cow puncher
Honest and upright and square
Hut he turned to a ^ard shoo tin gunman
And 8 wc-an put ki<-> there
He fellm with e~ril cc -paniens
The kind that are better off de^d (Cczi't)
i HH'Q? GOT JMO USB FOR THE FODMM (Con't)
TJhen a gambler insulted her picture
He fjlled h lu full of leade
All thru that long night they chased him
Thru mesquite and tall chaparral
And I couldn't help think of her picture
lihen I sa~T him "Ditch and fall
If she'd "been the pal she should have
He might have been raising a son
Instead of out on the prairie
To die "by a rangers gun*
Deathfs sharp sting did not trouble
His chances for life rere to si in
But where they were puttin_ his body
Has all that worried Li±m
He lifted bis heed, on his elbow
The blood from his wound ran red
He looked at his pals grouoed around him
And this is "hat he saido
nBury me out on the prairie
Ifhere the coyotes howl over my gra^e
Bury me ouz on the prairie
But from them my hones please save
Wrap me up in my blanket
And bury ne deep in the ground
Cover me over "ith boulders of granite5 huge and round"»
So we buried him out on the prairie
"Where the coyotes they howl o'er his grave
And his soul is now a resting from the unkind cut she gave
And many another young puncher?
As he rides "past that pile of stones
Hecalls? of similar ^oman.
And thinks of his -^oolderin bones.
KINKY IT 216
Up in Korea midst high rocks and snow
The poor Chinese Commie is feeling quite low
For as the Corsairs roar by overhead
He knows that nis buddies all soon will be dead,
Choruss Hinky di Dinky Dinky di
Hinky di Dinky Dinky di»
Lin ?ao went ?Tay up to cold Sato Hi
His prize Chinese amy in action to see
He go v "'"here a half hour after the U's
And all that he found was their hats and their shoes. (Con't)
1C>
HINKY DI (Con't)
Pun. little chink men save your ass rim
For 323 is oux looking for fun
As the "big white nosed Corsairs came down in their dives
You111 know the deathrattlers are after you lives.
Uncle Joe Stalin your stooges have found
It just doesn't pay to invade foreign ground
For when they disturb tho severe morning calm
They "brought on the rockets, bombs and napalm•
Herers to the 2-C, the vought people too
And their well known product the blue F4U
To all gyrene pilots and carriers at sea
And to bhe deathrattlers squadron olf 323»
¥e fought at Pyong Tang and at Hagaru
At Eumbawa and Kaesang and Oyangbu
So here's to our pilots and here's to our crew
The target? the snake, and the blue F4-U.
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS 217
(Tune- Old 97)
He was comin' on the downwind doin' one ninety per
TChen his Hundred went into a spin
He was found in the wreck' with his hand on the throttle
And his body all covered with gin.
Iio\T the Pratt nan said, "It can't be the engine
'Cause that engine never chugs,,"
So upon examination, pulling blades in every station
They found it was the jet mix sludge.
Chorus? (Low and Soft) (Tune- Funeral March)
Ten thousand dollars going hone to the folks
Ten houusand dollars going home to the folks
Oh won't they be excited, Oh won't they be delighted
Just think of what they can buy
Ten thousand dollars going home to the folks.
I SA'i HSR SNATCH 218
I saw her "snatch" her satchel from the window
I held her for a moment in the rain
I kissed her "as" she hurried to the station
To see her brother "Jack off" the train.
TIE m ROOT ARGUTD A TREE 219
(Tune- Chisolm Trail)
Reached in my pocket, pulled out a penny
She said boy you can't have- any.
Cror-js o Cere aid tie ~>y ro^t around ° tree, r-urnd a tree
Cone and tie m~ root around a trees fCon't)
11C
_± ~i RCux AROUFD A THEE (ConTt)
keacnod c i^ Ju ie „ ^jiied ott a nickel
Si e said ol t-a o don * even get a tickle,
^es-ohed "■ n - ->^cs^t pilled, out a dime
S ->o S"a /ot11 p naa ;} ~)r T 3 !*:si;i ^ ;yoox time <,
Po c'-io^ ir -3 pocket? jp-ulled oft a quarter
31-1- ■=.-„"' vo^i" mi T"n a preacrers daughter
?Gc-cned. _n ~^ pockety pulle1 out a half
Sip fa^ ;n -,£; ^n ^o J Dale P9 1 =>Ugh
Pen 1Q ^ 7 7 lO^^^ty P^lle^ Out "1 LltS
'1 Q 1 gglo ii«_ o_ts o
P^nO <*d 11 ""„ pnovet? pulled 0U~~ 3 Dick
Cl ° c jo 0 n-'U ol, ^ hojgiat a f^o1-*,
Toor '^t "h =■ k-itf^en? laio her on tie sirk
Oi ~"f CwO ro- h«- pjoS^v old s^iik:,
Tucked ^e " j1 fci 1 Cocked hor lyin'
If _ 1 he^ n^ j'd p fooked her flym'o
I e oke * ^ne po_migj aid guess vrhst I saw
~ lu e nc t, 3 <?s end ? "big blae Dal1 .
T vei- ^ L1"° ocJc^5 Aeusp my pecker tfas sore
ry rod & i° og ^ r yoi^'v0 oeen baker "by a whore»
and not o i;i sce? LTii a perckorless nan
T fack em n ui in i iger ^nd fool em iThen I can0
FoT7" ~^e lsc,t ttJT-1 1 sar ner5 ard I h?ven't seen her since
S'be iTas jar«k rg oj " a do0g 11. through a berhed Fire fence.
CP^SPIT" ttl3 CR-flLItfG 220
0i<= nig^t as L ^s era lirg and cree^ng? creeping^ creeomg
soiled a young ra^dei so peecefivl v sleeping
So roll o^ I f g oiefj oO roll yooc leg over*, over more
I sa d to liei can I cox e ^o "bed TXxh you
And then s^p repliac ^ou^e not handcuffed or tied
So roll „oj j.eg over, so roll your leg over, over more c
h.cr cia »"s i ere +xght c~>d Z could not get in them
M Je' s e reoliec there s a kmf^ on t e tahle
Pi i ijl "c as s^s-U 3rd e"1" dra ;ors split asunder
_o uri - ^rQ "b^igi^g lice lightening ?ao tnunder
-> -ol1 3^1 le0 over so r^31 ^our l<=g over? or°r nore« (Con't)
ill
CPSEPIFG AFD CRAWLING (Con't)
In about nine months lav the poor maid asunder
And then she rerenbered the lightning and thunder
So roll your leg over? so roll your leg over,, over more,
HUMORESQUE 221
Passengers in.ll please refrain
From flushing tho toilets rhile the Train
Is standing in the station, I lo\re you
As we go strolling through the park
And goosing shadows in tr_e dark
If Shermans horse Cc-n bake it? why csn't you»
Tourre the guy ilut did the pushing
Put the wet spots on the Gusnion
Foot prints on the dash hoard upside down
Ever snice you met my daughter
SheTs had trouble passing water
Ifish that you had never ooioe to town „
I rn the guy that did the pushing
Put the wet spots on the cushion
Foot prints on the dash hoard upside down
Since I met your daughter Venus
I've had trouble with my penis
TTish I'd never seen this God damn town*
I LOVE A BILLBOARD 222
I love a "billboard? I always will
A sexy billboard gave me? my first thrill
Fhen I was only a little chil
A sexy billboard drove me wild.
HERS* 1)0_____ 223
Herel s to ______? he ' s true blue
He*s a drunkard through and through
He*s a drunkard so they say
Oh he tried to go to Heaven
But he went the other way
So drink chug-a-lug? chug-a-lug3 chug~a~lug
So drink chug-a~lug? chug—a—lug? shug-a-lug0
PADDY MURPHY
224
Have you ever been in an Irishmans shanty
Where whiskey is plenty and the money is scanty
A bed on the floor0 e roof of thatch
And a string on the door instead of a latch
Fow there were icepicks and toothpicks
And all kinds of lunatics,, ice cream and cold cream
The girls were drinking kerosene• (Conft)
112
PaFUY J'URPHY (Con't)
Fow t_ae nig i j that FaoxLy Furphy died is one I'll not forget
Ijie boys ;'"ey sTen^d d_rirking and some ain't sober yet
Fow tlie night tkaT Daddy Furphy died
They ca*r>e from far and near
They Took the ice rj ghr off the corpse, and but it in the beer0
ind chat's how we showed our respect for Paddy Murphy
Tbatrs how we showed our honor and our pride
rLhat!s how we showed our respect for Paddy Hurphy
On the light That Paddy died,
TEE EilPY CEESIEP EIGHT SIX 225
~T--re fro i c_ie Eight Sin
T„ o na.,.^ co.es ted Eight Six
Frer^ver re go out and baTe a ball
~ro Tako L.elignT; in stirring up 3 fight
/_nd kicking hawks and Tigers in The head
Till chey re doado
LA, FA, HA,
HO, PO, HO,
FIE? HEE, PEEr
"Te ha^_Q got Ten
A rep for bs^ng rotten
Fe put- po^on in our COrs Cream of Fheat
Telre from Tne Bight Six
The hairy ohestel Eighx Six
And ""fe ea~ (POAPF) Far Feat I
(Call fie ~Tt > "l3.t - Fo^e Beer)
IFF MOST CHIVILROUS PISH 226
The most chirilious fish in the ocean
To ladies f02 bearing and nild
Though his record be dark, is The men-earing shark
"bo will eac neither woman or child»
Fe dines upon -ca^en and skippers
And a tourist will nis huiigei aswage
Ard a fresh cabi/_ boy, Trill inspire him "with 20J
If he?s past The ma tun by age*
A doctor a lawyer or preacher
Fe!ll gobble up any fine day
Sub The ladies, God Bless !em, he'll only address fem
Politely and go on his way*
I can readily diTe you an instance
Of a lo"ely j'oung lady from Freem
Fho was oendei and 3T*eec, end delicious to eat
aid ieil into the bay wirb 3 scream. (Oonrt)
113
THE L'OST CHIVILROUS FISH (Con't)
She strugglea and flounced in the water
And signaled jn vain for her barque
She would surety have drowned, if she had not been found
By a chivalrous nan-earing shark.
He bowed in his manner most charming
Thus soothing her impulses wild
Don't be frightened, he said5 I've been properly bred
And will eat neither woman nor child.
He proffered his fin and she took it
Suoh gallantry sone oar. disrate
Ar_d the passengers cheered? ds the vessel they iD?r^d
And bhe broadside ^ds fir^d in salute <,
They soon were alongside the iresr $1
A life saving dinghy t as lowered
7ith a piok of the crew,, and her relatives too
And the m? be nnd. the skipper aboard.
They had her on board in a jiffy
The shark stood attention the shile
Then he raised up his flipper5 and gobbled up the skipper
And went on his way with a smile .
This shows that the king of the ocean
To ladies forbearing ana mild
Though his record, be dark*, is tie man-eating shark
TTho will eat neither woman nor child»
LETS HAVE A PARTY 227
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
So lets have a parts-*
Fe're gonna tear down the bar in your town Boo
Tie : re gonna build a new bar Ray
It!s only gonna be one foot wide 3oo
But itrll be a mile long Ray
There 11 be no bartenders in our bar Boo
Fe!re gonna have barmaids Ray
Our barmaids will wear long dresses Boo
Hade or cellophane Ray
You canTt take our barmaids home Boo
They'll take you home ^-^J
You can't sleep with our barmaids Boo
They T_onrt let you sleep Ray
Beer's gonna be ^00 a glass 3oo
Whiskey free Ray
Only one to a customer Boo
Serve^ in buckets p^ry
(Conrt)
ill
'
LETS HAVE A PARTY (Con't)
"Te're gonna throw a21 "the beer in the river Boo
They we511 all go for a swim Ray
Ifo girls alloved above the first floor Boo
"With their clothes on Ray
There'll be no loving on the dance floor Boo
And no dancing on the loving floor Ray
Parties make "ohe world. go round
Parties make the world. go round
Parties ir.ake the world go round
SO LST!S HA\TE A PiP, T1H
SHA^TI TOttjv
228
There's a shanty in bh. cow:i en the little plot of ground.
"Tith the green grass c,iowIn all ground, all around
The roofs so worn so badly torn that it tumbles to the ground
Just a tumble down shack and i bs built Kay back
"bout twen by~five feet from the railroad tracks
Lingers on my mind, most all of the tine
Keeps calling mo back to my little grass shack
I:d be just; as sassy as Ear] e Selasse
If I were a king "wculdn?t mean a thing
Put my boots on tali read the writing on the wall
And it woulln't mean a thing? not a doddamned thing
There's a queen waiting chere in a rocking chair
Just blowing her top on Gaiters beer
I !m looking all around and trucking on down
1 Cause I gotta get back to ny scanty town „
MOM'S IJ BED 229
Horn's in bed? Pops on top
Eid?s in the cradle saj^n shoot it to her pop
Moms in bed5 pops in .jail
Sis is in the gorner 3^ellin pussy for sale
Horns in the kitchen^ pops locked up
My hunch-backed brothers got my sister knocked up
Got a model T Ford? a tank full of gas
A mouth full of titty and a hand full of ass
Haven't got a nickel, haven't got a dime
A house full of kids and none of them mine.
STREET CLEAF3R SONG 230
('Tune--Carol in a In The Horning)
Vothing could, be meaner
'Than to be a stree t cleaner
In the Horning
Fothing could be bluer
Than to pick up horse nanure
In che Herringc (Conft)
113
5IRI,EI CLEAilER SOIG (Con't)
T'^ien the horses unload
Skat's what I really hate
Cleaning up horse manure
From four ill till eight
Strolling with my pushcart
T|hen the breezes sriell like oheeze
In the morning
There's nothing more I fear
Than a horse with diarrhea
In the morning
7~hy can't They drop these little halls
Iha u donTt stick to jiy overalls
In the morning
11 1 had AlladIns lamp for only a day
I would. ralie a wish or two
And here's what I!d say
I wish they "would put classes
All around those horses asses
In the morning,
SOUTH OP TEE BORDER 231
That louse of 3 boarder
"Who else could It be
While I was away at work
That lousy jerk filled in for me
Oh I didn't get angry
Though it's driving me wild
Tor he may be the father of my only child„
Oh the baby's forst words were manana
It was then I could plainly see
That It was a real mexlcan
And there's no Spanish blood in me.
Oh I stabbed that boader
I stabbed him that da;y
I cut him from the Rio Grande to the Sante Fe
I cut off his boleros
ITow he'll never play
South of the border? in a Mexican way,
DRTIOCIIf RUT7 AFD COLA COLA 232
Since the 45^ came to SIdi Slimane
Theyfve got the French girls going insane
The French girls say they trea d them nice
Ana they give them a be oter pricp e
Chorus? Drinkin ran and coca cola
Go down Port Lyautey
Loth mother and daughter
orri "'g lor a „anreQ dollar* ^on'uj
116
HIIITKIN- RUTI AID COLA COLA (Conlt)
In French Morocco It is mighty clear
The Frenchman gezs one can of beer
While the %5±h leads a life so fine
Just making whopee all the tinec
The SAC "boys came to 3idi this year
The girls all thought That they were queer
They don't dance9 they just drink "beer
They're glad that -the 45*^h is here
The "bomber jockeys came and left the girls so cold
They acted like a million years old
They donft spend money so th^y s?y
'Jb.s "rives in th^ states g<=>t all their pay,
Before we landed on this field
The Officers Club slowed. little yield
But now T^e'l] build a cluo 1> Lux
The 45"th is on the books s
The American arms so brey say
Allow Fraud ems only through the day
There5s that click click click all the night
But the OoTo says it's quite all righto
Chorus? Drinkin rum and cocacola
Go down to Valhalla
Both mother and daughter
Working for rdie yankee dollar 0
Up in Deutschland it is clear
The girls don!t drink much gin or beer
They will play and they will sin
But_ you've got to give up your Sabre pin0
Up in Frankfurt late one night
Our tech rep got mighty tight
Hade passionate love to a blonde in black
Fow they're takin stitches in his back.
TO THE TilBLES DCOT AT SIBI 233
(Tune- Whiffenpoof Song)
To the tables down at Sidi
To the place where Chester dwells
To the dear old Dallas Bar we loved so well
Sang tne motley crew assembled
With their glasses raised on high
'And the horrow of their sirging sounds like hell.
Xes9 the horror of their singing
Of the songs that should, sound well
"idaile up rre wasting all the morning and our rest
T~e will serenade our Chester
TTiile life 3~3 ii~»b snail last
"ill ne's sc'ie and ^eer ""oxgo oten in tiie past*, (CorJt)
117
TO T3Z TABLES IXHF AT SIDI (Con't)
Fe!re the 3906th "who have gene astray
Baa^ Daa^ baa
lelll fcry to be good till rotation day'
Baa? baa? "baa
Officers? gentleren, try to be
we think we'll "be here till eternity
Oliy please send a replacement for me
3aa? baa? baa0
At the choir practice nightly
All the songs are greet and lor
Till That good old demon rum begins to fio^r
Then tonsils they get rusty
And the voices get off key
And. the wives declare that now they have to go ,
The women leave discretely
And the songs get more risque
And tales of war are told by those who fly
They fight the war in Burma
And the war in Europe too
And each one tries tell a bigger lie.
¥e are members of the Sidi choir
j_ja<! J.a $ -La
"ife rill sing the song that you desire
LEo isj -La
Cocks men re profess to be
Pull of scotch type energy
Hope we live on past this spree
La, la ^ ia»
ROTATIOFAL EVE
234
(Tune- Red River Valley)
Life in Sidi Slimane is so peaceful
But the rumors are true that re fve heard
The quiet is soon to be broken
By arrival of SACfs 303rdo
From old Tucson they say they are leaving
Leaving homes and sweet lovin rives
They rill come here to old French Morocco
And complicate all of our lives „
For They'll have lots of aircraft and people
And they'll have at least thirty I know
"^ho rill spend all o± their raking norrents
Halting work for the base AICU
Bug >efll not be about; to get e2:0ited
For the answer to most of our fears
Is uO pass en the buck tis !/ as airajs
Straight on to xne Go "p^ C_F Engineers* (Cor't)
118
ROTATIONAL SV3 (Con!t)
The odds are "hat ~s cannot please them
There are sure to he waits and delays
But if "e can stand it for two years
They can stand i i; for just thirty days •
FAUGHTY LITTLE DOG 235
Once I had a naughty- little dog
A naughty little dog wa's he
I loaned him to a lady friend
To keep her company*
Fow all around thc- house that night
That naughty little dog did hunt
He!d sticli lis nose "beneath ner dress
And try to smell her-----
Shame on you you naughty little dog
You make rny temper rise
There rs only one mail In this "whole world
Who can sleep betreen her--------
Thank the lady for the wine
I'll drink it for my supper
Damn the man who!s got a girl
And ain*t got the guts to--------
Fumble fumble all around
It's -time that we should start
I ate some beans for supper
And I think I'm going to--------
Forty dollars I will bid
And six bits I will pass
Damn the girl that stole my dice
And stuck them up her——-
Ask your partner for her name
I need it for a list
Excuse me while I go outside
And try to take a— ™—
Pistol belt around my hips
And around tnis town 1*11 frolic
Take your partners In the house
While he plays with his--------
Ball? play ball che umpire oried
Oh how that man-can hit
Take him to the alley
Cause I think he!s joing to-----— (OonTt)
1 " O
JAUGHTY LITILS DOC- (ConTt)
btsre .;. ,v )\, "or r ctyfaty Hit] e boy
You --cic r >"ha ; ~j~< 3 -v l ll icj ck
And toe"^ »'oj s baud "behind him
'Ti^h rou: jicd „ncn. his— •----------
Prick the elephant with the prod
To hear the irons~er yell
if he should s :ep upon yon
He would smash jou sll to-----
Eelp= help9 che sailor crid
A3 through the sea he swan
Swim or siru the skipper said
Cause i donTb give a———~ —-
Da mi -ry hide for eve^y libcle thing
Z n-i sirg a little no re
Once I ni, in a parlor
ir* bh my arms around, a >--------
Hold on there my pretty little girl
iLiat l"> it that you say
If you shouud sit on another irans lap
You'd %<3 7- a dose of —— -—
Clap 7 z'lar)^ clap your hands
i'j f,o:ig nz-ll never last
If yon don't like this song, I sing
7ou oan kiss my "bloody ass*
SIDI S1IKAKE S01\TG 236
(Tune- On top of Old Smoky)
Dow gather --ourd closely; and we'll sing this refrain
Bout life ^n 5Toroc^oP at 3id:< Slimane
There's not enorjh women, bo graoe this bare land
Ijt there's pi ency of rag heads? Cactus and sand*
The heat in the cay bine? will wither your soul
While all the long evenings9 you shiver with oold.
It's so hot ^r old Sidi3 where no rr-er flows
You'd think hell was rbo re you? and heaven below,
Each man here "Jill tell ycu9 that hefs malassigned
And the Air Force ''ommanders? have sll lost their minds
"e here in 3iddi; TTant to k:io~T why we're here
And we'll not find our answer9 in a big glass of beer.
So we'll txj some ?ye wrjskey? and we'll try some rum
And a galloj. of cognac; and the answer will come
"ie need, some ecru lumen u? and "Te need, some supplies
"But any improvement, ~llx b) a surmise e (Con't)
3IDI SLIMME SOltfG (Con't)
Fork from dawn till sunsets or. many "big deals
IHiile those boys fron division, are draggin their heels
'The bo5 s you will no Gee ? \fho take it so hard
Ire recalled reservists, and tho Air National Guard.
Trliile Ifir» sitting here singing, I've had en idea
Itfs ro Agh in Irorncoc5 but death in Korea«
LET OLE MOTHER AL4TUBS HAVE HER wAT 237
Boy-san wipe away the i tears
7e!re goin down to the house of mirrors
To let ole mother-nature have her way
Goin to look into them mirrors of glass
An watch myself get a piece of ass „
Lettin ole mother nature have her way.
Chorus? Closer*, come a skoshi bit closer
Oh there ain:t no -use to dick around this way
Put your belly close to mine
"^e're gonna go pom-pcm four or five times
T'o let ole mother nature have her way.
I'loshi-moshi Boy-san make a skoshi trip
Down to the Officers Club at the strip
To let ole mother nature have her way
TTe!re goin down to that glorified pub
Known as the Allied Officers Club
To let ole mother nature hava her way.
Shrimp cocktails and. a great big steak i
If ill really put us on zh.e make
To let ole mother nature have her way
But before >~3 go down to that plalace of sin
He better load up wi bh a few thousand Ten
To let ole mother nature have her ray.
Hooray now nere we are at last
Ilama-san parade them jo-sans past
To let ole mother nature have her way
Now that Tun!s as cute as a pup with specks
Them chi-chi!s didn't come from no PoX„
Just let ole mother nature have her >Tay.
Kama-san I111 take that oca over there
ITibh tho great big chi-chi's and the sukoshie hair
To let ole mother nature have her "ay
On it shorely seoTS ?i a ~fSi sin
To j^ay tnis jo-san a tnojsand jen
To let ole rotrer i?/rs i_3~re ner s.y«
jL^r Oj£ XOih TP HaIOHE HAVE HER TUY (Con?t)
Hai? hc-_ <, so 5csis sjlsi desho
XCeredono shak unacnii sulci nai yo
To lex olo pother nature have her way.
Oh jou wake up m the iiornmg feeling like shit
And nine days later it starts<" to-.-dnp- .-<-.■> *-. * j
To let ole mother nature have her-7-way ■" T
-' ~ _,- j - ■>
Toj tell Doc Beetlebaun the fix you*re in r
- P ~ ""
He fills your ass full of penicillin
lb let ole mother na cure have her way« - <- %
3
But you. will really begme to curse, yore fate
p
TFhen yore s^aikers brak; out cs big as pie plate
Co let ole mother na^uie nave her r8j
Do ii """o Doc Beetlebaur !s office a^gain
To pet yore sss full of aureomycin
To let ole mother nature have her way
Then onej f me) mornin you jump out of The sack
To find the little son—of~a-bitch has turned-coal bLaek
To let ole mother nature have her ffav
The doc says stand on your toes and cough
Imagine his surprise when yore balls fall off
To let ole mother nature have her way.
Don!t worry doc Beetlebaum tells you the score
They111 no-ver be missed on your next 6O-4
To let ole mother natore have her way
.But you!ll sound a lib Die funny transmittm for a fix
(High Voice) Hello D T Eooier one, two? three? four? five? six
To let ole mother na we have her way.
"73 SOLD OTjR COW . 238
He sold oar cow
He sold our cow
We've got no use
For your bull nci,
CLOVIS 239
He stood before the pearly gate
His face was scarred and old
He stood before tne man of fate
Tor admission to the fold
nHhat have you don?" St Peter said
"I've been a fignter pilot9 sir$
For many and many years
I've fought the dusu ano ilown the 'D1
Wi-ch the frozen chosen few
I've been at Clems Air Force Base
ind par bs of Texas too*
The pearly gates srung open Tide
St Peter i-o^c^ed tne bell
J0c e ±^ aid enese o * oIl ? ■"",> —1°
You've had yojr s'-ia^0 o~ Hell <,
_22
RUGGED BUT RIGHT 241
I just called! up to tell you that I!m rugged but right
A thief and a gambler and I'm drunk every night
I eat a porterhouse steack three times a day for my board.
Ilore^than any ordinary guy can afford
I got a big 'leotrio fan to keep me cool when I sleep
A good looking gal to play around with my feet.
I'm just a rambling man, a gambllii' man, drunk every night
I just called up to tell you that I'm rugged but right,
I just called up to tell you that; I'm rugged but right
A thief and a gambler and. I'm drunk every night
I!ve gog the hips that sank the ships of England, Prance and Peru
And If you1re like Fapoleon, it's your Waterloo
1*11 take a fifteen iircermission in the Ford 7-8
Ird like "Co make it longer but I've got a late date
llj motto is "Sin be gene with the wind" so lets be breezy tonight
I just called up to tell you that I'm rugged and rightc
REIIEMBER 242
Remember the night, "hen you ire re tight, my darling, remember
TJhen I was on heat, and said you might, my darling, remember
Remember you found, a tender spot, right in the middle of my twot
You said you'd "withdraw before you shot
But you forgot to remember0
DRIJTKIFG SOFG 243
rlhat's the use of drinking tea
Indulging in sobriety
Tee totaled, perversity
Itfs healthier to boozee
Tfhat's the use of milk and. water
These are drinks that never alter
Be aloud in any quarter
Come on lose your blues„
Hix J' our self a shandy
Brown yourself in brandy
Sherry sweet or whisky neat
Or any other liquor that is handy„
What's the blinking sense in drinking
Anything that doesnH make you stinking
There is nothing quite like sinking
Blotto to the floore
Abberrations metabolic
Ceilings that are hyperbolic
These are for the aioholie
Lying on the floor„ (Con't)
123
IRIJKiTG SOFG (Con't)
Vodka for your auntie
Gin to make you hearty
Lemonade was only made
For drinking Then your mothers' at the party,
Steer clear of hone made beer
Or anything that isr^t labelledclear
Theret is nothing els fc to fear
Bottoms up my hoys„
UP THE LUFF 244
i'ly girl—friendrs up the duff in Canberra city,
She's only got an go her month to go
I took hex out no Luna Park? ana went aboard the dipper
Then coming do~ii the stairs I tried ay very Lest to trip her
It looks as tho! its going to "be a very stubborn nipper
For she's only gob another nonth to grow
She's gone ahout as fas as she can go.
She told me many months ago that it was getting late
According to the calendar I've only one to wait
Four weeks and a day or two shoula he the opening date«
I took her to the doc tor3 1 took her to a quacks
I took her on a motor hike over humpy tracks
But I expect a rebate on my next year's income tax0
THE COLOIEL'S LAK3FT 245
The 523rd went out to fly one dark and stormy night
And as they taxied past I heard the old Colonel say
'The 523rd is gonna' fly, it makes me mighty proud
To know I have one squadron who will penetrate a cloud <,
The Five and Lime went out to fly one bright and sunny day
And as they taxied past I heard the old Colonel say
The Five and Lime is gonna' fly? I've got a right to sweat
They auger in a hooger up—I'll loose my eagles yet*
Chorus s Tfhat a bunch of meatheadsL Ilhat a bunch of schmoosi
The PAF and-ITavy can stay? but they have to go I
A LOST FIGHTER PILOT 246
(Tune-The Wiffenpoof Song)
In the sky at angels 40
In a thunderstorm so black
Sat a pilot in his delta Dagger Jet
Fow his engine was a'chuggin and. he thought the end was near
3ut he didn't want to buy the farm just yet
Fow his IACA1T wasn't pointing and his rad.ar set was bent
And. the fuel in his tanks was going fast
So he ^res^ed the Dlao'z "like box-ton sy-d b^eati^d into the air
71aTDAT-I1ATI)_-T-HAIS0R-FaISC2. save n,y ass*
CCon't)
124
A LOST FIGHTER PILOT (Con»t)
I!m a poor fights? pilot on a cross-country, S-O-S
That Irm lost you can plainly see, S-O-S
It!s so lonely way up here
Just get ne back and I!1I buy the beer
S-O-S„
DOW 1ST T33 VALL3Y 247
The first Time I saw her she was all dressed in white,
ill In white, all in white, my God, her cunt was tight,
Do ma In the valley, where she followed me .
The neix time I sa~~ her she was all dressed In brown,
ill In brown, all in brown, I took her inckers down,
Down in the valley where she followed me •
The next time I saw her she was all dressed in green,,
ill in green9 all in green, I filled her soup tureen,
Down in zhe valley, where she followed, me <>
The next time I saw her she was all dressed, in fawn,,
All in fawn, all in fawn, two little bastards born,
Down in the valley where she followed me.
The next time I saw her she was all dressed in red,
ill in red, all in red, two little has "cards dead,
Down in the "'"alley were she followed me *
The next time I saw her she was all dressed in black
All in black, all in black, boards nailed across her crack,
Down In the valley where she followed me.
KHARTOUM 248
There's bags of batchy airmen, waydown in the sunny Soudan
T-Ihere everyone is batch and so's the fucking old man
There's bags and bags of bullshit,, saluting on the square
And when we're not saluting we're up in the fucking air,
TfeTre leaving ICbartoum ~^j the light of the moon
T<fe travel by nighT and. oy day
As we pass Kasferait, we?ll have fuck all to eat
1 Cause we've thrown all our rations away.
Shire , Shire , Somerse tshire ,
The skipper looks on her with pride
He!d. have a blue fit if lie saw any shit
On the sidle of the Somersetshire.
This is my story, this is irrj song,
I!ve been in this Air Force ~oo fucking long
So bring on the Rodnej", tre nelson? renown
The3- can't bring the Hood, 'cause the fuckers gone down
Tooralay, Tooralay,
N
Oh5 we'll fuck all the S?s who come down our way.
125
LT C-RAIyBFATHSRS COCK 249
My Grandfather's cock vas too long for his Jock
So it drug niney .years on the floor
It was longer "by half than the old man himself
Though it weighed no a pennyweight more
It was found on the morn of theday that he was born
.And was always his pleasure and pride
But it drooped wilted,, never to rise again
"Fhen the old man died
Ifinety years without limbering
Hhat a cock? what a cock I
His pieces of ass numbering
I'hat a cock? what a cock*
But it drooped? wilted never to rise again
""'''hen the ^ld t^byi di0^ <?
MY FAMILY 250
Have you net my Uncle Hector
He's a cock and ball inspector
At a celebrated Snglish public school
And my brother sells French letters
And a patent cure for wetters
TTe're not the best of familys? aint it cruel?
My little sister lily? is a whore on Piccadilly
My mother is another on the Strand,,
My father hawks his arse-hole
Round the Elephant and Castle?
¥e!re the finest fuckin family in the land.
There's a gentlemenJs convenience
A short way down the Strand
And the Ladies is a little further on
For a penny on deposit,, you can sit upon the closet
But a season's ticket costs you half a crown»
BRITISH OREFADIERS 251
Some die of diabetes 9 and-dome of diarrhoea,,
Some die of drinking whisky and some of drinking beer
But of all the world*s diseases there's none that can compare
Vith the drip? drip? <3rip, from the end of your prick
Of the British Gonorrhea<>
R0-TIDDLB-E3-0 252
Oh Mr Fisherman9 hone from the sea
Have you any lobsters you can sell to me.
Choruss Singing Ro-tiddle-ee-c? shit or bust5
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dustc
rYesn said the fishermen I have twoy
x
The biggest of the bastards I will sell to you
I TrappeJ the lebs cer up atd I took th° bustards home
I snowed it to the is bus but sh« was on the phone. (Conrn)
126
RO-TIDLLB-EE-O (Con1 t)
I opened up The friclge "out I couldn't find a dish
So I put it in trie place Fliere the missus has a piss„
Now half-way through the night as you must know
The missus got up to have a so-and-so•
Bow the missus gave a squeal and the missus gave a grunt
When the silly fucking lobster hit her on the cunt.
How I picked up s mop end the missus grabbed e broom „
And we chased that fucking lobsxer all around the room.
How ~~e hit on the heed and ~~e hit it on the s^de
"re hi j Ghax fucking lobs ber xill the basxard died 8
There !s a moral to this story and tho moral is this9
Always have a shufty before you have a piss „
Tli3tTs the end. of this s 'gotj and there isn't any more
There's an apple up my arse-hole? you can have the oore,
ROLL MS OVER 253
Itfotr this number one <, and the song has just begun?
How this is number two? and he's got me in a stew
How this is number three ? and. his hand, is on my knee
How this is number four? and he's got me 021 the floor
How this is number fivey and his hand is on my thigh t9
Chorus s Roll me over lay me down arid do it again?
Roll me over in the clover9
Roll me otgIj lay me down and do it again«
How this is number six? and. he's got me in a fix
How this is number seven? and I think I am in heaven
How bhis is number eight 9 and the doctor's at the gate ?
How this is number nine., and the twins are doing fine
How this is number ten <, and he's started once again.
I HAHT TO PLAY PIAjTO 1ST A ¥EORUEOTJSE 254
I want to play piano in a whorehouse
That is my one desire
Some may be bankers or ranchers out in Butte
I just want to play in a house of ill repute
You. nay laugh at this my humble advocation
But carnal copulation is here to stay
I don't want fame or riches
I just warn: to play for those old bitches
I want; to play piano in a whorehouse.
i 01
BLOODT SPARROW 255
There once was "bloody sparro, what lived up "bloody spout
Hong cane bloody rainstorm and washed that "bugger out
Along oame bloody sparrow hawk, and spied him in his snuggery »
"E sharpened up his "beak and claws, and chewed him up to huggery
Along came bloody sporting type, complete with bloody gun '
He shot that bloody sparrow hawk, right up his bloody bung
{Che moral of this story, so plain to everyone
That them that lives up bloody spouts
Donft have much bloody fan,
OH JOHBITY , 256
Oho Johnny, Oh Johnny, Look wain; you've got
Oh3 Jornny, Oh, Johunj - I'll tell my mum.
Toufve put me in th^ family way
Vliotever will my daddy say,
Oh? Johnnyj Oh, Johnny, I'm sir months gene,
Three more months to go,
If you value yo_jr life, you will make me your wife
Oh, Johnny, Oh, Johnny, OHo
CATS 0"\T THE ROOF TOPS (JOEM P3EL) 257
CHORUS? Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles,
Cabs with the syphilis, the clap and the piles,
Cats with tneir arse-holes wreathed in smiles,
As they revel in the joys of copulation.
The donkey is a solitary moke
He very seldom gets a po.ee
But when he does, he comes in streams
As he revels» . •
Hippopotamus so it seems
Very seldom has wet dreams
But when he does, he comes is streams
As he revels
Poor old bovine, poor old bull
Very seldom gets a pull
But when he does, the cow is full
As he revels .«, « o»
Poor little tortoise in his shell
lJoesnft manage very well
But when he does he fucks like hell
As he revels..,,.,
Wow the hairy old gorrilla is a sedentary ape
"Who very seldom does much rape
But when he does he comes like tape
As he revels„ „, e 0 (Con f t)
128
Ox :S CM 732 ?,OOF TOPS (J0H1\T PEEL) (Con't)
Bovv-legged voi-nen s'ii like goats
Bald heads:, men all fuck like stoats
Fhile The congregation ■sits and gloats
ibid revels in,,.,.
Fow I met a girl and she was • a dear
But she gav9 me a dose of gonorrhea
Fools ruch in where angels fear
To revel
Do you ken John Peel with his coat so gay
He!s a dirty old soi so all men say
For he canft go as off in The normal way
So "'is hounds Iick iris horn in the morning
"When you wake up in the morning and youfre feeling full of joy
And yojr wife isn't willing and ;yowr daughter isn't ooy
Then yen 'Ye got to use the arse-hole of your eldest hoy
t\s you revel <■».»• «
Tr7he:i you wake up in the Doming with a ten inch stand
And there isn't any woman in the whole of the land
'Then there !s nothing for it hut to use your hand
An you revel m the jojz of copulation»
1 AltfGSLDS POP-POM S01TG 2^8
Have you ever heen in the Philippines
The place is full of Pom-pom q_ueens
The clap is had? hut the syph is worse
So fluh your dub for safety first
Choruss Singing rum and coca cola? come down to old Angeles
Both mother and daughter, working for the GI dollar
The women with their dirty feet
"Walk up and down Angeles street
They come up close and whisper low
''How ahout a little pom-pom? Joe"
The Philippines pimp is very smart
He gets his dough hefore you start
y
The pom-pom there is very nice
But twenty pesos is a helluva price
IOM 259
"We've ho en working on the railroad,,
All the live long day9
Fe've heen working on fie railroad,
Just to pass th3 tine awa}-
CanTt yon here the rnisle hlot-ing?
At night or early in the ^crn9
Can1 c ye; hear ere whistle clo Tj_ng
129
DIMi (ConTt)
Din eh ? fonTt rou d!ow? Dinah won{t you "blow
Dinah9 won't 70U blow your hor-or-orny
Dinah? won't you blow? Dinah9 won't you blow?
Dinah? won't you blow your horn6
Someone's in the kitchen with. Dinah,
Someone's in the kitchen I knew, I know
SomeoneTs in the kitchen with Dinah
Strumming on the old Id an joe •>
Singing fee-fi~fio.dle—^-I-0
Fee-Pi-Fiddle-E~I-0-I-0-0
Fee— Fe--Fiddle F-~i~0
Strumming on tne old ben.joe «
THF ?FT£K OF ARABY 260
Itli the shriek of Araby* Tour heart "belongs to me
At night when j^ou're asleep, Into your tent 1*11 creep
The stars that shine above ? I^'ill light our way to love
Oh rule this land ^ith ne, I'm the shiek of Araby0
dear old dad 261
I want a beer
Just like the beer
That pickled derr old dad
It was a beer
And the only beer
That daddy ever had
A good old fashioned beep? s
With lots of foam
Took ten men to carry daddy home
I want a beer
Just like the beer
That pickled my old dad«
III RED HAVSF 262
Then whip-poor-wills call
And evening is nigh
I hurry to my red haven
^
A turn to the right
A little red light
"Will lead you to my red haven
YouJll see a smiling face on the pillow-case
A form devine
A little ole ¥ whos been S________ before a million times
Just Ilollie and me
There111 never be three
"We1 re careful in our red haven„
130
RATIEY AIR PATCH - 263
It was cough, in old Manila nil a nils
It was rough in Tokyo
But this G D Puerto Rico Rico Rico
Is the thoughest place I know
Tou can go to Ramey Air Patch, Air Patch, Air Patch
Any hour of any day
Tou can watch the Thirty-sixes ? sixes? sixes
As they crash into the baye
You can take these coral beaches? "beaches, "beaches
You can take this waving grass
You can take this Puerto Rico, Rico = Rico
And bo bhat I1!! raise my glass,
DAISY 264
Daisy9 Daisy,, give me your answer do
Irn half crazy all for the love of you
It won!t bo a stylish marriage
I can!t afford a carriage
But you'll look sweety upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two.
Tony? Tony* here is your answer true
I'm not crazy all for the love of you
There won't be a stylish marriage
Till you can afford a carriage
And I;ll be damned
If I'll be crammed
On a bicycle built for two0
TEE DMF DUEMY 265
You take the leg form some old table
You take the arm from some old chair
You take the neck from some old bottle
And from a horse you tak© some hair„
I~ow you put them all together
With, the aid of string and glue
And I'll get more lovin1 from that god damn dummy
Than I ever get from you
'TRIERS IS WOTHIWG LIKE SOKE ___________
We get beer in nine ounce glasses
We get cigarettes In tins
lie get drunk each Friday evening
We get headaches for out sins
We get CB from the 00
When he gets back all our cheques
What don't we get
Wg don't get ______________ (don't)
131
THERE I3l\T0TEI2\TG LUCE SOI'IS _________ (Con't)
Pilots need some recreation
"When iiard flying lias been done
And what better recreation
Than a spot oi harmless fun
We forsake our bullshit castle
Tor a spot t_ats marked XX
"What do we rant
i T'"e all want _________
Chorus s There is nothing like sone___________
Itfothing in this world
Tncvgh it's perfectly complex
There is no tiling li&e some ______________
Some girls like to oling and say5 Oh Brother
Unfortunately most girls scr^nm for ^"OTI^l
Ivbw we !Te studied Lr Kinsey
And we've read his lates g hook
But we think tnat his conclusions
Are a little hit mistook
For he seems to think that passior1
Is a secondary reflex
Why don't they teach the poor man
Just when the learned doctor
Appears to'have left; boos important
3ut unmentionable things unsaid
Once again it rears it!s ugly heado
A1TTH0NY HOLT 26?
A is for arse-holes? all covered in shit
Hey Ho says Holy (Chorus)
And 3 is for bugger who revels in it
With a Roly Poly; gammon and spinach
Hey Ho for Anthony Roly„ (Chorus)
1 Cs for cunt? all dripping in piss?
And D for the drunkard who gave it akiss
2 E's for the eunuch with only one ball,
And P for the fucker with no ball at all
3 G is for goitre5 gonnerrhea and gout
i_nd H is for harlot who dishes out
4 I is for injection for syphilis and i bch
And J is for jump of a dog on a bitch
5- IC is for king who shot on the floor
±n± L is for lousyy licentious whore«
6 II is for maidenhead; tattered and torn9
And If is for iManey whose ars-hole is worn
7 0 is for orifice9 already revealed
? is for penis ready unp^eled (GonTt)
132
MTEOWI ROL Y ( Co n * t)
8. Q is for quaker who shot in his hat
And R is tJie rodger who redgered the cat,
9* S is for shit-pit full to the "brim
And T is xhr turd that is floating therein.
10c U is the usher who taught in the school
And V is the virgin who playd with his tool
110 V is for the whore Tho thinks fuckings a farce
And Xy and Z you can stick up your arse.
LAST 5AIPURDAT MIGHT 268
When I came home last Saturday night as drunk as I could he
I saw s hat upon the rack? where my hat ought to he .
I said to my darling wifey "23b w tell ell of it to me."
¥ho owns that hat upon the rack? where ny hat ought to be.
She saids "You're "blind 5 you're drunk, 3rou silly old cunt
You're hlind and cannot see.
For that is a "basin that you!re mother gave to me
In all my worldly travels, ten thousand miles or more,
I Tve never seen a "basin with a hat hand on "before.
I saw a coat upon the heh.....
"For that is a blanket that your mother game to me "
I've never seen a blanket with brass buttons on before.
I saw a head beside the head....
"For that is a turnip that your mother gave to me"
"I've never seen a turnip with a mustache on before."
I saw a, thing beside the thing....
"For that is a foiling pin your mother gave to me"
I've never seen a rolling pin with balls on it before
I saw a bum beside a bum
"For that!s the dear young baby yourself you gave to me"
I've never seen a baby's bum with marts on it before.
THE MARRYING KI1TD 269
If I were a marrying maid, which thank the Lord I'm not, sir?
The kind of man that I would we'd, would be a Rugby fullback sir,
For herd find touch,, and I'd find touchy
We?d both find touchy together,
We'd be alright in the middle of the night
Finding touch together.
A wing three-quarter --——__-.—.-------He'd go fast
A center t>err-quarter ——— ——----—- He'd go strsight
A stand off half ———————— Herd go through
A Rugby scrun he if ----——.——-— He1 a prt it in (Con!t)
133
THE HARRYING KIITD (Con't)
A rugby loos- forward —-—-----— He'd "break fast
A second ro" forward----------------------— Ee'd bind tight
A front row forward —-~------------i__ He'd push hard
A rugby referes----------------------------—-_ He'd Mow hard
A rugby linesman-------——.--.------— Hefd put it up
A r-agby spectator———-
For lie1 clap, clap
And I*d clap, clap
¥eTd both oIap? clap togcrther
¥!d "be alright in the middle of the night
CLAP, CLAP, CLAPj Together.
TEE PORTIONS OP A ¥0PA1\T 270
The potions of a woman that appeal to manrs depravity,,
Are fashioned with considerable care-
And what at first appears to be a harmless little cavity
Is really an eleborate affair»
Doctors of distinction have examined the abdomena
Of various experimental dames
And have listed The components of these woranlyphenamena
And given them most charming Latin names.
There!s the cliooris? the vagina? the vulva? perineum?
And the hymen in the case of certain brides <,
Delighful small devices you would love if you could see 'em
There's a hundred other little things besides*
Isn't it a pity then, that when we poor men chatter
Upon the things to wich I have refereed
We use for what is really a most complicated matter
Such a short and unattractive little word*
The Beply
The erudite authorities who study the geography
Of these remote but interesting lands
Are able to indulge their taste for intimate topography
And view the scenic details close at hand,
But while we lesser mortals are aware of the existence
Of mysteries beneath the public knoll
We're norr?ally contented to survey them at a distance
And treat then^ roughly speaking, as a (17) hole.
134 (CorTu)
THE PORTIOF OF A ¥OIIiJT (ConTt)
But when we are confronted nth somo morsel of virginity
We exercise a gentle sense of touch
¥e do not cload the inciter m meticulous Latinity
But call the whole affair a such end such*
Men have ncde this useful but inelegant commodity
Hie subject of umnor-ible jibes?
.And while the name we call it by is something of an oddity
It seems to fit the subject it describese
THREE CLB JiAIDS 27^
This first; ladyfs name "res Elizabeth Porter
She was fche Bishop of Cnichester's daughter
Who went to get rid of some old vix^m water
And nobody knew she was there*
Chorus ?
0h? dcar? what can the mat cor be?
Thsee old maids were locked m the lavatory?
They were there from Monday to Saturday
lib-body knew they were there.
The second lady's n:me was Elizabeth Humphery-
Who went for a pee and could not get her bun free
She said "Oh dear? this is really quite comfy11
Nobody knew she was there•
The third lady's name was Elizabeth Bender
Who went to adjust a broken suspeJidor
And got it mixed up with her feminine gender
And nobody knew she was thereto
THE UO¥K 272
There lived a monk of great renown
There lived a monk of great renown
There lived a monk of great renora
And he fucked all the women all over town* x
Choruss The old sod? the old sod, the dirty old bastard,
The bugger deserved to dies Euck §
Lou us pray - Glory? glory? Halleluj-c,
He took then to his lily 7rtiite bed (3Tmes)
And fucked them ell till they wee3 ceed.
One day he met a meiden fair, (3)
„nd ' 0 lured "her up ino ^is Ipir*
135 fCnn^+l
THE mm (Con!t)
He took her to his marble halls (3)
And showed her is prick end his bloody great hells*
He lend her on his wily white "bod (3)
And fucked the girl till she was dead,
The other nouks all oried ,!Por shame" (3)
They took up a knife and cut 011 his fame»
But on that ressurection norn (3)
The oirty old bjggcr lad still got a horns
And so that nonk _ias gone to hell (3)
And we!d heard that b^'s fucking the devil as well.
TE3 MOTOR OF BAYSFATER 273
The Ma^or of Bays rater's got; a hc-re for a daughter
And the hairs of her Hicky di do hang down to her knee»
I know cause I've seen them? I!ve been up and 111 between them
The hairs of her Fick;y di-do hang down to her knees*
One black one5 one ^nite one, and one with a bit of shit on
The hairs of her Micky di-do hang down to her knees*
And if I should court her3 Ud heve !en cut shorter,
The hairs of her \i.ck$ di-do hang down to her knees <,
RICKY DA3T DO 274
As I was walking down the stree c
A fair young maid 1 chanced to roet
She said Hello how do you do
Would you like to play with my Rick Dan-Do *
Your Ricky Dcii Do I said wba o& that
ItTs soft and smooth like a pussy cat
Hairs all round and split m two
That's what I call my Ricky dai do,
She took mo to her father's celler
She said to me you're very nice feller
She gave ne wine and shisky too
And I played all night with her Ricky Dan Do *
Her father came and her father sdd
"You've gone and lost your maiden head
So pack jour grip and baggage ooo
And earn ^our living with your Picky Dan do.
She ent to to^m to be a ^horc
She nung this 10tice outside i°_ door
Ten dollars do"f 1 no less *-il 1 00
If op ^t ti ola ^itx ^r R c j >i Ov.
(a^r*t)
~3o
RICKY DAN DO (Con't)
There cane a poliseman up to her door
Show me your licesnce xo "be a whore
I have no licence tell you what 1*11 do
I!ll let you play Kith play with my Ricky Dan do,
The hoys all came and the hoys all "Went
The price cane soen to eighteen cents
Prom sweet sexteen to eight-two
111 had a hash at her Ricky Dan dol
There cams a gvj9 a sun of a hitch
Fho had the pox and the sailors itoh?
He had blue hails and shankeis too
And he played all nitht with her Ricky Dan Dol.
And the Ricky Den Do now is badl3" worn
The Ricky Dan Do is tattered end torn?
The Ricky Dan Do now is up the kite
The the Ricky Dan Do T^llsy "Goodnight".
F-84 pilots battle cry 275
The Red Nose Migs are coming
ITot a Sabre in sight
The Red Nose Migs are coming
And they want to fight
Let's HURRY HURRY HURRY HOME.
WIRRAtIaYS DOIT'T BOTHER ME - 2?6
Wirraways donTt worry me9 "vlirraways don't worry ne
Oil burning bastards with flaps on their wings
Fi"ch buggered up pistons and buggered lip rings
The bomb load is so fucking small
Three fifths of five eighs of fuck all
There's such a commofcion out over the ocean
So cheer up my lads9 fuck 'em all*
They say that the Japs have a very fine kite,
That we're no longer in doubts
When there's a Zero way out on your tail,
This is the way to get out 0090
Be cool and collected,, be calm end serene
Don't let your Britich blood boil
DonTt hesitate shove her right through the gate
And drown the poor bastard in oil,
DARK AlO DRYhJIY EYES ~ 277
A four old whores of P^rtsmixh to""n
"•here drinkirg Sp~nich mie ; (Conrc)
137
DAEK AID DREiJIT STBS (ConTt)
This gist of the conversation was?
"Is your cunt bigger than nine".
Then up there spake the fisherman's wife
Ind she was dressed in black
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a fishing smack5 my boysy
The sodlings and the dabs
And in the other corner
She'd a shocking dose of crabs„
Ohoruss She had those dark and dreamy eyes
.And a Fhizz-bang up her jacksey
She was one of the flash-eyed hores
One of the old brigade.
Then up there spaoe the brewer's rife
And she was dressed in grey
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a brewer's dray
She had a brewer*s dray? my boys
Athing just like a truck,
And in the other corner
SheTd the remains of last night's fuck.
Then up there spake the sailor's wife
And she was dressed in blue
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a life-boat's crew
She had a life-boat's crew? ny boys5
The rowlocks and the oars?
And in the other corner
The Marines were forming fours,
Then up there spake the cricketer's wife
And she was dressed in verrillion
And in one corner of her funn;y little thing
She had the Lords Pavilion
She had the Lords Paviihion? boys
A social sort of joint
And in the other corner
There was Hobbs at cover pint*
Then up there spake the barman's wife
And she was dressed in yellow
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had the whole wine cellar
She had the whole wine cellar
With barrels full of beer
And in the other corner
She had Pox and Gonorrhea. (Con't)
13-
DARK MD DREAMY ETES (Con't)
Then up there spake the airmails wife
And she was dressed in "beige
inid in onj corner of her funny little thing
She had a handly-page
She had a Unadly-Page, my hoys
With a joy stick and its knowb
And in the other corner
Were two airmen on the job.
Then up there spake the actor's wife
Who was also dressed in belge?
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a, Windmill stage
She had the windmill stage? my hoys
The gallery and the stalls
And in the other corner
She had C B Cochranefs halls.
And then up spake the pilot's wife
And she was dressed in chrome
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had the aerodrome
She had the aerodrome ? my "boys
The homhers and the troops9
And in the other corner
There Wimpys Looping Loops „
Then up up spake the ops room girl?
She was a little WAE
And in one corner of hor funny little thing
She had the Ops reem staff
She had the Ops room staff, my boys
All fucking there like hell
And in the other corner
Sh'd the signals staff as well*
THEY CALLED THE BASTARD STEPHENS 278
A maid, sat in a mountain glen
Seducing herself with a fountain pen
The capsule broke9 the ink ran wild
And she gave birth to a blue-black child*
And the celled the bastard Stephens (3Tines)
"Cause ho was a blue-black childe
Uo matter how nor where no when
Use Stephens Ink in your fountain Pen,
IF ?IOBILE 279
There's a shortage of good wheres? In Tlcbile (3 tines)
But there's keyholes 1:1 che doors
And thole's kn^t-holos in the floors m r~fh„lo ,
(Con't)
139
Ill MOBILE (Con't)
There fs a "blockage of bogs, in Mobile (3 times)
Itrs a habit of the working classes
Tlhen they've finished wi-ch their glasses
They just stuff them up ~heir arses, in Mobile.
Oh, the old dun coir is dead, in Mcbkile, (3)
But the children must be fed
So we rll mild the bull instead, in Monile •
Oh the eagles they fly high, in Mobile (3)
iind they shit right in your eye
So thank God the cows donrt fly, in Mobkile„
Oh the negroes they gro>i tall, in Mobile (3)
But they shoot them in the fall
And they eat fem balls and ail, in Mobile*
There's no shortage of good beer, in Mobile (3)
And they give us damn good cheer
Oh5 thank God what we are here, in Mobile*
There Ts a lovely girl called Dinah, in Mobile (3)
For a fuck there is no finer
"Cause she's got the best Vagina, in Mobile.
There*s a man called Lanky Danny, in Mobile (3)
And his ins tic t 1h uncanny
"When he's fingering a fanny, in Mobile0
There *s a tavern in the town, in Mobile (3)
Where for falf a fucking crown
You can get a bit of "brown, in Mobile*
Oh, the girls all wear tin pants in Mobile (3)
But they take them off to dance
Just to give the boys a chance in Mobil© <>
Therels excess of copulation in Mobile (3)
They rel for stimulation
On mutal mestcrbation, J'lin Mobile
The CO is a bugger, in Mobile, (3)
iind the adj, he is another
So they bugger one another in Mobile„
TAC HEADQUARTERS 280
TAC Headquarters, thats the spot
Twelve full Colonels, thats a lot
Twice as many Generals too
QL-C Headquarters is the pla&e for you.
\ j^TTI. T£E MISSION'S OVER 281
Ait?r :he r.ission's ovor
After ro all got "back
lie get interrogated
Where lid you see the flak?
How wore tLu Jerry fightars?
What times was the tally-ho?
Have you any bitches
If not? you may go*
We like P-47
We think they handle swell
We like to fly formation
We're all as nuts as hell
We like the fighter peal-off
It will kill us all some day,
Land in 15
Or the colonel will have say
(Any name) 9 you straggled ell dcy»
(-inj zicPG) 5 used poor techinque *
(in/ nane)s you had your head up,
WeTll have a short critique
You missed the land foil-in (any mizefy
(Any name) ? you will report
Why5 with only one wing off
You had to abort*
BRIHG THAT BASE-LEG TE 282
(Tune-Pistol Pcckin'Maura,)
Flying rround the pattern
And was I haveing fun
Until one day I undershot
And now my flyingTs done..
Chorus § Bring that base-leg m, "boys,
Bring that base-leg in?
Space yourself on the forty-five
iind bring that base-leg in»
Ok9 the pieces flew and the pieces fell
As I slid onto the ground
And all the while the tower yelled^
nPull up and go aroundo"
HERE'S TO THE 1E3XT KM TO DIE 283
Betrayed by the Regular Army
Cas±_off by the Signal Corps,
Signed up for nin months flying
And stayed on for three years more *
Chorus ? So s tand by yo-jr g 1 -es es s to ady
This rerld is 0 ~ orld of lies
Hjrers e torst bo the zie~d already
Laid, nurreh for txie n^3t nicii to dio 0
(ConTt)
-I1-
HERE'S TO EtF ]\TEXT i'L'JT TO DIE (Con't)
Wg looped in the purple sunset /
¥e spun in the silvery dawn
With a trail of black smoke behind us
To show where our comrades have geno «
Echoing through the low hung rafters?
Resounding from the walls so "be.ro-
You can hear the tears and- laughter
Of the depdy for thoy really are thore.
MY T"T1LD IRISH HOSE * 284
My wild Irish Rose
The sweetest flower that grows
You may search everywhere
But none can compare
frith ny wild Irish Rose
Ily wild Irish Rose
The seetest flower that grows
inid some day for my sake
She may let me take
The bloom from my wild Irish Rose*
L/J\TDLORD? PILL THS FD0WI3TG J3CML 285
Three jolly coachmen sat in ""an English tavern
Three jolly coachmen sat In an English tavern
There they decided that| there they decided thatf
There they decided that they'd have another flagon.
Choruss Ohj landlord? fill the flowing bowl
Until it doth run over
Ohj, landlord,; fill the flowing bowl
Until it soth run over0
For tonight we111 rierryj merry bef
For tonight we111 merry5 merry be,
For tonight we'll merry? merry be?
Tomorrow weTll be sober*
lTow? the man who drinks light ale and goes to bed quite sober
Now, the man who drinks light ale end goes to bed quite sober?
Fades as the lilly fadesf " fad&s as the lilly fades|
Fades as the lilly fades! he!ll die before October 1
Chorus t
But the man who drinks stout ale? and goes to bed quite mellow
But the man who drinks stout ale? and goes to bed quite mellow
Lives as he ought to lives lives as he^ought to live?
Lives as he ought to live5 he1!! die a jolly fsllowl
I42 (Con't)
jx.1^^ FILL THE FLOTfllvTG BO¥L (ConTl)
Chorus s
lfow? the maid who steels a kiss and runs to, tell her mother %
Few, the maid who steals a kiss and runs to tell her motherj
Does a very foolish thingj does a very foolish thing|
Does a very foolish thing? she'll never get another I
Chorus %
But the maid -"ho steals a kess and stays to get another!
But the meid ~\ho steals a kiss and stays to get another|
Is a "boon to all mankind! is a boon to all mankind!
Is a boon to all mankind! she'll be a fruitfull mother I
LAMENT OP TEE RESERVIST 286
(Tune-Cigsrettes and Whiskey)
I was a civilian and flew one weekends
l\To sweat about clanks and no sign of the bends
But I am a retread and older I grow
Now I fly a Mustang, its1 old and it's slow.
Chorus? Sinuiju and .Anak, Sinanju and Simmak
Theyrll drive you crazy, they111 drive you insanae
Q Quad fifties and forties, and one hundred sorties
They111 drive you crazy
Tileyr 11 drive you insane I
Oh, once I iras happy and I flew a jet
At 35?0°0 1-^v fat can you get?
They sent; me bo He 11 is for six weeks to trian
They gave me a Mustang,, It!s no aero-plane.
We strafed and we bombed and we shot air to air
Then off to Korea, we're fouled up for fair
¥e came to K-Four-Six to fly with this Group
My hair's turning gray and my wings have a droop!
I flew my first mission and it was a snap
Just follow the leader, don't look at a map
But now I've got eighty and lead a sad flight
Go out on armed recce and can't sleep and night
"Went up to Mig iJ_ley, S-2 said no sweat
If I had not looked around, I'd be up there yet
Six Migs jumped our-------and the leader ye filled break
Sixty-one and 3000, how me knees did shake I
If I live through a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to shove it my -— is to sore
They can ram it and jam it for all that I crre
Just give :.ie a "Tmg job, a desk and a chair!
143
LILI KARLEF3 287
Underneath the lamp post "by the "barracks gate*
Standing oil alone<, every night you'll see hor wait
She waits Tor the bey who marched away
.And though heTs gone she hears him say
Oh5 promise you'll he true
Fare the well? Lili Merlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee troll, Lili Marlene
Underneath bho lamp post by the barraaks gate
Standing ell &loney every night you*11 see her waile
For this is the place a vow was made
.And Dreezes sing her serenade
Ohj, promise you'll he true
Fare tuee rell? Lili 3'Iarlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee wellj Lili Marlene«.
Underneath the lamp post "by the barracks, ga>be
Standing ell ^lone5 every night you'll see hor wait
And there in the lamp light it is said
A halo shines above her- head
Ohs promise you'll be true
Fare thee welly Lilil Marlene5 till I return to you
Fare the well? Lili Marlene»
Underneath the lamp post by the barra±ka gate
Standing all alone*, every nighi you'll see hep wait
And as they go marching to the fray
The soldiers all salute and say
We'll tell him you've been true
Fare the T'Tell? lili Marlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee TTell ? lili Marlene
PHILADELPHIA LaWTOR 288
Way out in Henos iTevada
Where romance blooms and fades,,
A great Philadelphia lawyer
Was m love "Tith. a Hollywood me id
Come love ond we will wrnder
Out where the lights are bright
I'll win jz-j v divorce from you husband
And we can get married Tonight.
low bill TcS a gun~toting cowboy
Ten notches rare carved on his gun
And all the boys a round Reno
Left Uild Bill's maiden alone. (Con't)
116.
P- iii .DEL "PHI i_ L.jrfEU (Con! t)
On» night when ho Tas reiutning
Fror riding tne range in zho cold
He drea on. of ms HolXyvodd sweetheart
Her love f\s ujui^g es g->id0 y
As he drsf near ncr tfmdjv
A shed, vt he &c "ni tho shade*
' T~~rs the great Ihiladelphia lawyer
Making love to his Hollywood nsii,
The night was as still as t^e desert
The noun ras right -"V^rjread
Bill lis ce od ?y. lie to the lawyer
Be could niear f /°ry r^ t>°t re s~id0
Your hands ^3 &_, ^j?--bf~ g it l-v-eJ _, 9
Your lor-1 S) raro a j/S ^±viae?
Cono g^ ij_ Gh re to the city
Ano lea~ve tn is /ild c b^y behind
l\Fow hack m o"1 d Pennsylvania
Ariong the beautiful pn^s?
There's less Philadelphia 1 a iyer
In old Philaaclpric t might„
HOG DRI7TP, 289
(Tune-Kcon liver)
Hog d iver? lusjimg through tie sicy
Oh hr g a aasmng 0u3 am I
Than >?^ Tighter all ?ro lighter?
Wherever sn^ ' s gomi', she's go ml bh^ "o slow*
Hog driver, >Thile Sxie howls md moans?
I often wish ipon a star
Thet soneday there'll be
An ?-/ic? waiting gust f^r me9
find ihen IJ11 never he hog driver again.
THE COWBOY'S LiJiSFT 290
As I walked out on the streets of LcredoP
As I 7~aik:ea. out m Laredo one day?
I spied a cowpuncher all wrapped up m white linen
All Tapped in 1 hite linen as cola as tre clay<>
0? nca u the frur slowly a^d play the fife lowly?
Play cjc oe^d narch as you ccr^j ire a"icng<, *-
Tale ^ t:> ~Lr -ello33 thero lay the sod o'er me
For ilr a you^g co TDoy fnd I hnoTT I fve done wrong*. (Conft)
1&5
T€B COWBOY'S LlFZET (Con't)
I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy
Those words he did say as I slowly stepped, by
Cone six down hosIda my and hear my sad. story
I^m shot in the breast end I know I nust die .
It was jiice in the saddle I used to go dashing?
Once in The saddle I used to go gay
Then I first took to drinking and then took to gambling
Got shot in the brea.it and IV, dying today,
Let sixteen gamblers come carry my coffin
Let six pretty maidens come sing me a sorg
Take de to the graveyard* there roll che sod o'er me
For "in e yoiTg cowboy and I know I've done wrong.
We boa,t the drun slowly and played the fife lo^iy
And. hiLterl^ wept as we bore hin along
For we all loved our comrade so brave? ycvng9 end handsome?
We all loved our comrade althoT he*d done wrongs
'1KB FOGGY? FOGGY LEW 291
When I was a bachelor, I lived all alone
I —orked at the weaver's trade
And the only? only thing that I did. that was wrong,,
"Was bo woo a fair voung maid
I wooed, her in the wintertime
Part of the summer too
And tne only, only thing that I did that was wrong9
Was to keep her form the foggy, foggy clew0
One night she knelt close by my side?
When 1 was fasr asleep,
She threw her arms around my neck
And bhen began to weep
She sept9 she cried, she tore her hair,
Ah? me5 what could I do
So all night long I held her m ny arns.
Just to keep her from the foggy? foggy dew,
Again I'm a bachelor, I live with my son,
We work at weaver's trade
And every single time I look into his eyes
He reminds me of that fair young meid
He reminds me ofthe wintertire
Part of the summer too
And of the many, many times that I held her in ny arms
Just to keep her from the f^rgy? foggj dewc
U6
jl.-iE EOBIR B^STi^DS 292
1# I'm a lL~ocreuic figuis i~ mese autocraTic States
A Pathetic Jb^onstraTion of heridiTary traits
i.s the daughters of the "bakers "baked the most delicious "breads
As the sons of Casancva fillec1 The ^osi exclusive "beds
As the Rossesvolcs ond, Barry^ores — and others I could nane
Inh^riTed their calenBs ^"hich perpetuate their fane
My position m the sxructure of Sociexy I owe,
To those little qualities -tv parents bequeathed re long ago
¥o>t r-y father ves a traveliiifc, nan and nusieal co hoot
Ee used to play pidio m tie House of lll-repuce
There xLe Me dan res a lady mc credit to her guIt
Slg enjoyed ny Baden's pleura, ara I ; :s The result
Bo -y -\~r~>f end n;y paopj- ere ur^> oies I leva to ch-/ik
Baet I 8re- vp to BB BRBSIDB IT of a-h C^ty \Tni, id B^xJc^
ll, Ii a oozy little far-Nioase i o r 0023 IxTtle Bell
±1 dear old fasromec fa bier end "His deugnxer used 00 d^ell
She »cS sweet9 she fires gentle,, she res Tcader? she "was mild
But her synparhies TTere sjc! ciat she TTes frequeitly fTith child
Ifor xhe hired man vas a _evorite with tne gel!s m Manny's set
And th» Traveling nan fron Scrditon res an eve i-noney Dei.
For such "Were nanny's morels -- and such ffes her elure
That eve4 Roger 3ebso 1 resn1 g very smo.
'Then she was feeling glocpy I c^ulc always make her gun.
By childishly .mcuJireing iBir oy pa_yy night have been.
So I took ny nanny's morals and I took nj pappy1s crast?
xOid xhej appointed no heed o t a luge mvos inane t"i;st.
Ill- In a cosy little chain gang en a dasty southern rord
My late laronted pappy lies nis pern^nent ahode
I\Tow sone were xiie^e for Suoelmg, haT ny papoy's xily fault
Was an overwhelming ?rea^nAsss for crimial assault
His philosopy "»7c-s simple a^id Croc from noral Tepe9
Seuuctio^ is for sissiess bj~ a He-man has his rape
And xho poppy's Iist )f victims ^es incredibly rich
Ana nenry she was one of tie""1;, he*d r^ver Tell re which,
ITow I never went ro c^llece, 0it I got ne a degx"ce
I reckon I'n tre ™>^del of a perfect S03
I'r> a do "bit to ny coatrys > 0 I'n a credit to n„ Dad
I'n the lose e-c^eusive SB jxBOB this nniio^ ever had,
IV. I'n an euxocreTic figure 11 Bjsb de^ocraxic ste.es
/. paxtatiu dc^ ts oration ^f "areaitary traits,
as t_e de^gh.ers of police to it Jrvo the larg^ t feet
As the de^girrcr ^f tB^ flo^ gio nas a Jiggle tc nor seat
I"j posiTin at t-c B^tto- of s-ci^ty I o e
To those lictle cpu^liti^s ~ per^n^s hoc.ueTa.ee t long ego
Ho" ry fatn^r .cr *rs a ^.ricn ra. -\.i~ h. t „s .ven norc
He "as -smod to - t ~r? - fa-~ uci I . d_ ore
I ras bom 1" r>^l;> "ell c ? c^ "seo .c1" «lj 0^ — : i" oy
I 7tar r-o^cd .3 e-er^ . =- a^ •»-^ pl„^-r in ai- ^3 a
I xr\ost^ B ^, s„t^B I a- ^c ^rc jj f-11-----■■
i,rd _f B „ c c -.o1 1 - z s - o --- 2-r -^
1 ' ^ a ^_ -OJ°^
^
' jl^^-r^...
THR0TTL3 3STDER 293
( Tune -McFan ar aT s Band)
llj nr;ac is Throttle Bender9
I!a the loader of the grngf
I burrod up 1 ot s uf ongine3 ?
But I don't give a hang
To ne full bore is normal cruise9
Cause I don't give a darn
My boys never can catch no
They1 to got a lot to learn.
Chorus s w'g are the beys frou Iaaauki?
To are the boys from Itazook?
"\Te ore t^e boys croai I basuki,
To fly with the Gr^up*
Ky zi-~?e xo Throttle Bonder
Ifn the leader of the Group
I always C£"jse confusion
But I don't give a hooto
I clinh'toc slow? I dive too fast
I pull excessive Grs
I knoii' ny boys are following
I near their knocking knees „
My no.ne is Throttle Bender
ITn the leader of the Wing«
I haven!t led a group in years
So I don't know a thing
About the wing fomaiion? boys,,
That I am going to ieaci|
But Z^n the wing Conmander
So there really is no need.
Ho if jou lead a flight., boys.
Or if ;you lead a Group?
It end rn ear and you will hear
The latest kind of poop,
Fron ToKeeyo to Sezznego
lou'll hear the boys all say,
The leader bent the throttle? so
I had. a rough day to day.
WmLtziig ::_.tilda 294
Once a jolly swag™an c:rrped ~by tho briil-along
/
Under the shade of a o?olibah tcee9
And 13 sang as be sat sua Trailed till .his billy boiled?
You111 cone D--,]il czing liatilda with r.o .
Chorus § Taltzing Hatilde, "aitzing llatiidoc
You'll c^ire o~waltzmg HaLilda ~n_th no
And he sang as he sat and '"itoc1 till his billy bailed
To_n' 11 c^"~i^ n™raI~zi1vi T"r'"/j.1 ~ ~ith n°->
10xi!t)
140
lilROYYLS SSJ\TD5R (Con't)
Down o?me a jur..buck t drink rt the billalong^
Up jumped the s^agnan and grabbed him with glee
And he sang as ho stowed that junbuck in his tucker bag
You'll conn a-waltzing Tl>.tilda with me.
Up rode a squater counted _m his thoroughbred?
Up rode His troops 5 ono? bwo? three
Where's that jolly junbuck ? you've got in your tucker bag?
You'll c.nc a-waltzing Matilda with ne .
Up jumped tiie swagnan, sprang into the brillalvag
You'll nvsver c^ieh re alive Beil he*
And his gaost ney og r.eerd as j^ ■ irn b;y he Mhl^br.g
You'll come a.-~~T,-I 3-ing Me "iiwk? - i uh ne *
It is sady but true? that; or oner- dt later ? mast Fighter Pilots
7i:id thenselves shafted pug of a Squadron? and in bo that oft
Cursed organization called iir Base Group=> Yhi^ song is for
then "Co sing to tboir fonor fr tends „
Tune - SAT3 ^ FIOhTYR PILOTS ASS
Pilots,, gentle Pilots5 pilots one and all
Ply boys? fleshy fly beys? please listen to our call
Buzz boys? busy Buzz b^ys3 this is all we ask
Take those Goddann Sabre Jets and s^ove them up your ass»
Chorus % Sing Halleluia5 Sing Haileluia
Stick your finger up your asss join che fighter pilot class
Sing Hallol"air.? Sing Haileluia
Stick your finger up your ass and flap your wings0
Who feeds the sons of bite" es and clothes thoir scrawny backs
Who guards their goddann airplanes and heats thoir fucking shacks
Who gives thea light and water, not Kinpo Power and Gas
If they don't like the service they can t>loT,r it out their ass.
TDY to Tsuiki, went che Sabre Dance
Saw a Sukoshi pilot got a J0sans pants
It cost, lain thirty sollars cor just a little feel
Along came an Air Base Group man wro got it ior a steal.
Jet Jocks are the hot shots, we'll tell you one and all
And when it cones to shoeting? they're really en the ball
They had a little contest to prove who was the first
But when the score was counted they ended up the worsto
You see these flashy Jet Boys, clinb fron their shiny hacks
With noon suits and silly jock straps a nfnging fron their backs
They sing the prrise of Serwy Snail with wild end side aclaira
Just Fighter Pilots—-Pilots, without a fucking brain.
(Con't)
IhO
Tunc - SAVE A FIGHT7!! PILOTS ASS (Con't)
They spin their ycrns of Air W"ay? by pilots brave end fair
Eighty percent is bull-shit5 and twenty more is air
We hear that they're by far the best and thrt we'd better believe
But where in the Hell ~.ould the fly bo;ys be
If the Air Base Group should leave,
The squawk box screams of flak holes and tanks all out of gas
Of takusan NIG's and bandits a playing on their ass
They get their bloomin balls shot off but still they brag of it
Tilth one accord we'll tell the wcrld? They cen't Fly For SHIT,
150