Ode to Four Letter Words
- The fourletter words, the four-letter words
That never say quite what you mean.
We'd rather be known for out hypocrite ways
Than as vulgar, impure and obscene.
When nature is calling, plain speaking is out
When the ladies, God bless 'em, are milling about
You may pee-wee, make water or empty the glass
You can powder your nose, even Johnny can pass
Shake the dew off the lily, see a man about a dog
Or, when everyone's soused, it's condensing the fog
But please to remember, if you would know bliss
That only in Shakespeare do characters .....
- The fourletter words, the four-letter words
That never say quite what you mean.
We'd rather be known for out hypocrite ways
Than as vulgar, impure and obscene.
Now a woman has bosoms, a bust or a breast
Those lily-white swellings that bulge 'neath her vest
They are towers of ivory, sheaves of new wheat
In moments of passion, ripe apples to eat.
You may speak of her nipples as fingers of fire
With hardly a question of raising her ire
But by Rabbelais' beard, she will throw several fits
If you speak of them roundly as good honest ....
- Fourletter words, the four-letter words
That never say quite what you mean.
We'd rather be known for out hypocrite ways
Than as vulgar, impure and obscene.
Though a lady oppose you advance, she'll be kind
As long as you intimate what's on your mind
You may tell her you're hungry, you need to be swung
You may ask her to see how your etchings are hung
Or mention the ashes that need to be hauled
Put the lid on her saucepan, even 'lay' is not too bald
But the moment you're forthright, get ready to duck
For the girl isn't born yet who'll stand for 'Let's ....'
- Fourletter words, the four-letter words
That never say quite what you mean.
We'd rather be known for out hypocrite ways
Than as vulgar, impure and obscene.
So let's banish the words that Elizabeth used
When she was queen virgin and itched on her throne
The modern maid's virtue is easily bruised
On meeting the four letter words all alone.
Let your morals be loose as an alderman's vest
If your language is weaseling, vague and obscure
Today not the act but the word is the test
Of the vulgar, salacious, illegal, impure.
- Fourletter words, the four-letter words
That never say quite what you mean.
We'd rather be known for out hypocrite ways
Than as vulgar, impure and obscene.
- Oscar Brand
-
Bawdy Songs Goes To College
[ca. 1960]
- The Girls From Campus Hall Time: 1:52
- Four-letter Words Time: 2:40
- Study In Anatomy [aka The Portions of a Woman] Time: 2:27
- Drinks All 'Round [aka Peter Murphy Had A Dog OR Ask Me No Questions] Time: 2:19
- Seniors In Town Again Time: 1:41
- Glorious [aka The Soldier and the Sailor w/Glorious One Keg Chorus] Time: 2:16
- M.O.T.H.E.R Time: 1:15
- Was It You Who Did The Pushing? Time: 0:37
- The More Vulgar-minded Time: 1:38
- Ride On Time: 1:29
- The Duchess And The Student Time: 2:58
- Old Soldiers Never Die [variant on The Sailor's Wife with different chorus and tune] Time: 2:33
- Four For Three [aka Lydia Pinkham] Time: 3:01
- The Codfish Song Time: 2:07
- Father's Grave Time: 1:52
-
