Below is the intro and contents of the 37th BS B-1b Squadron Songbook. The original MS-Word file is restricted to protect the guilty.
T.O. 1B-BONDRVR-1
USAF SERIES
UTILITY AFTER-FLIGHT MANUAL
BONE DRIVER'S HANDBOOK
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT
This publication is not required for official use or for
administrative or operational purposes. Distribution is limited to
Bone Drivers. Other requests for this document must be referred to:
Joe Shit, the Rag Man
See Squadron Apology Letter for disclosure notice, handling destruction notice, supplemental notice, and supersedure notice.
Crewdogs are responsible for bringing this publication to the attention of all affected personnel.
This publication should be augmented by General "S.A.", so that some "Goob" won't disclose it to disinterested personnel.
Not published under authority of the Secretary of the Air Force.
1 JUNE 2002
DEDICATION
This hymnal is dedicated to all flyers who paid the ultimate
price in the defense of liberty.
The Combat Aviator
Say what you will about him: Arrogant, cocky, boisterous, and a fun-loving fool to boot He has earned his place in the sun. Across the span of ninety years he has given this country some of its proudest moments and most cherished military traditions. But fame is short-lived and little the world remembers. Almost forgotten are the 1400 pilots who stood alone against the might of Hitler's Germany during the dark summer of 1940 and gave England, in the words of Winston Churchill, "It's finest hour." Gone from the tarmac of British soil are the 17s, 24s, 47s, and 51s that terrorized the finest fighter squadrons the Lurtwaffe had. Dimly remembered are the daring aviators that gave Americans some of their few proud moments in the skies over Korea. How fresh in the recall are the air commandos who valiantly struck the VC with their aging "Skyraiders" in the rain and blood soaked valley called A-Shau? And how long will be remembered the "Phantoms" and "Thuds" and "Buffs" over "Route Pack Six" and the flack filled skies of Hanoi? Barrel Roll, Steel Tiger, and Tally Ho. So here's a "Nickel on the Grass" to you, my friend, and your spirit, enthusiasm, sacrifice, and courage but most of all to your friendship. Yours is a dying breed and when you are gone the world will be a lesser place!
-Friar Tuck
3
TABLE OF CONTENTS
THE MISSION: Air-to-Ground.................... 7
OLD CLASSICS
Bone Song
. 9
I Love My Wife
. 10
Adeline Schmidt
11
Sammy Small
12
I Fucked a Dead Whore by the Roadside
. 14
Poetry
15
Bone Drivers Eat Pussy
18
Swing Low Sweet Chariot
25
Dear Mom
. 25
My Father Was a Fireman
27
Cope North Rodeo Song
.. 28
The Wild West Show
29
Yo-Ho (WSO's Lament)
.. 33
Englandied
.
37
I Don't Want to Go to War
.
.. 38
The Highland Ball
. 40
The Mouse
. 43
Gang Bang Song
44
I Am Viper
. 46
Alpha Alert Song
47
The Alpha Man
.. 49
The Saddam Huessein Song
50
You Can't Say Shit Hot
. 52
A CLEAN Song
. 52
I'm an Asshole
. 52
Tracking Kill
53
Beastiality
. 54
Bloody Great Wheel
. 55
Music Man
56
Bulldog on the Bank
. 57
Mary Jo Kapeckne
. 57
4
THE
BONE DRIVERS
HANDBOOK
This book is our thoughts, our songs, and our games. Lesser
individuals who have never strapped their asses to a piece of
flaming metal will consider these of little or no redeeming social
value. Because of this, the songs contained in this book are held as
sacred by those of us that have. Those people do not know, nor will
ever know what it means to be a Combat Aviator. This book is not for
them
it is for us! THE BONE DRIVER'S HANDBOOK is a collection of
over 80 years of tradition. A tradition that will never die as long
as enemy aggression challenges for supremacy of the skies and free
men rise to defeat them. "Anything else is rubbish!"
"As we stand near the ringing rafters
The walls around us are bare
As we echo our peals of laughter
It seems as though the dead are still there.
So stand by your glasses ready.
Let not a tear fill your eye.
Here's to those dead already
And Hurrah for the next to die!"
For those gone, for those now, and for those to come, this book is our spirit and blood. If you're a combat aviator, it's yours .if not,
"BEAT IT, YA FUCK!"
2
OLD STANDARDS
Mary Jo Kapeckne
. 57
The Air Force Song
. 58
The Air Force Lament
.. 59
Air Force Hymn
61
Happy Landing 90th Squadron
.. 62
Fighter Pilots
. 63
The Handsome Young Airman
. 63
My Way
. 64
The BONE Squadron Song
65
B-1 Shakes the Ground
. 66
Long Range Active AMRAMM
67
Save a Fighter Pilot's Ass
. 68
Red River Rats
... 71
I'd Rather Be an F-4 Jock
. 72
Son of Satan's Angels
.
.. 74
I Wanted Wings
. 75
On Top of the Pop Up
77
Waltzing Matilda
.
..
77
Napalm Stick to Kids
. 78
Strafe the Town and Kill the People
.. 81
Cover of the Weapons Review
..
83
A NEW LOW
The Ball (The Death of 69,000)
. 84
How 'Bout a 69
.. 86
Bye Bye Cherry
.. 87
Nothing Could Be Finer
. 87
Sally in the Alley
... 88
Mary Ann Burns
. 88
Sweet Angelina
88
Was It You?
.
89
Ghost Fuckers in the Sky
89
Do Your Balls Hang Low
90
Would You Like to Sit on My Face
90
Please Don't Burn the Shithouse Down
. 91
8
The Balls of O'Leary
.. 91
Kotex Song
. 91
Pubic Hairs
.. 93
Let Me Call You Sweetheart
... 93
By the Light
. 93
I want to Play Piano in a Whorehouse
. 94
No Balls at All
. 94
Bang Bang Lulu
.. 95
Lily White Kidney Wiper
.
96
Leprosy
.
98
Loaded Too
.. 99
Hail Britannia
..
99
Masturbating Man
..
. 100
Masturbation
. 100
Zack
.. 101
My God How the Money Rolls In
102
Let's Have a Party
103
Angeles Pom-Pom Song
104
MISCELLANEOUS
Toasts
105
Game Rules
. 108
Bar ROE
.. 113
Squadron Apology Letter
115
Standardized Brevity Terms
116
Brevity Codes
. 118
Murphy's Combat Rules