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My girlfriend is a lawyer, a lawyer, a lawyer
A mighty fine lawyer is she (is she!)
All day long she fucks you, she fucks you, she fucks you
And, when she comes home, she fucks me
Chorus:
- So drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the band
Follow the band with your gland in your hand
So drink a little bit, fuck a little bit, follow the band
Follow the band all the way
My girlfriend's a baker, a baker, a baker
A mighty fine baker is she (is she!)
All day long she kneads bread, kneads bread, kneads bread,
And, when she comes home, she needs me.
Chorus
My father is a mail clerk, a mail clerk, mail clerk
A might fine mail clerk is he (is he!)
All day long he licks stamps, licks stamps, licks stamps
And, when he comes home, he licks me.
Chorus
Additional verses:
Glassblower/blows glass/blows me
Nurse/takes temps/takes me
Gymnist/strides poles/strides mine
Dancer/does steps/does me
Asthmatic/sucks air/sucks me
Cowboy/rides broncs/rides me
Mechanic/screws bolts/screws me
Soldier/shoots guns/shoots cum
Guitarist/plays licks/licks me
Pimp/beats whores/beats me
Carpenter/bangs nails/bangs me
Truck driver/grinds gears/grinds me
Postman/stuffs boxes/stuffs me
Student/fucks off/fucks me
Plumber/lays pipe/lays me
Chef/eats this, he eats that/eats me
Bricklayer/lays brick/lays me
Dentist/drills you/drills me
Taxidermist/stuffs dead things/stuffs me
Stool Pigeon/fingers crooks/fingers me
My girlfriend is a prostitute, a prostitute, a prostitute
And a mighty fine prostitute is she
All day long she fucks you, she fucks you, she fucks you
And when she comes home she goes to sleep.
(chorus)