The Scotsman 
words and music by Mike Cross
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his
share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle inner eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had
graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had
graced him with upon his birth.
Well they marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show.
Well the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize.