lf I Had A Million Ducats 
music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
parody by GUNN-MCKEE-PEARSALL
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
id buy you a keep - I would buy you a keep
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
id buy furniture for your keep - Maybe a Louis the XIV
or an armoire
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
I'd buy you a big coach - all pretty with the fringe on the top
if I had a million ducats, I d buy your love.
if I had a million ducats - We wouldn't have to hunt for our game
if I had a million ducats - And we wouldn't hunt for sport cuz it
wouldn't be the same
if I had a million ducats - We could have peasants grow
our food
around the keep
With a nice big garden...
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
id buy you a fur cloak - And not a woolen cloak cause that's cruel
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
I'd buy you an exotic pet - Like a dragon or a unicorn
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
id buy
you a saint's remains - And all them crazy lucky saint's
bones
if I had a million ducats, I'd buy your love.
if I had a million ducats - We wouldn't have to walk to the faire
if I had a million ducats - I'd hire a knight to
carry us there
if I had a million ducats - We wouldn't have to get our feet all dirty
We wouldn't have to walk through the filth...
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
id buy you a bed - And not bed of nails, cause that's cruel
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
I'd buy you a piece of art - a Michaelangelo - Andy Warhol
if I had a million ducats - if I had a million ducats
Course you know id have to buy you a monkey - haven't you always
wanted a monkey?
if I had a million ducats, I'd buy your love.
if I had a million ducats, - if I had a million ducats
if I had a million ducats, - if I had those million ducats
if I had a million ducats.