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The Pheasant Plucker
While walking through the country one fine and pleasant day,
I came across a pheasant a-lying on some hay.
She was panting and a-puffing, exhausted she did lie.
And as I came up to her
I head this moral cry:
How many pheasants would a pheasant plucker pluck
If a pheasant plucker could pluck a pheasant?
Though this pheasant being quite naked,
I made to turn away
But she shouted out this story and so I had to stay.
"The phantom pheasant plucker, he caught me by surprise
And when I wasn't looking he stole me feathered pride."
How many pheasants would a pheasant plucker pluck
If a pheasant plucker could pluck pheasants?
"He plucked me all so naked with me he had his way
He plucked me clear to Condom[?] town and he plucked me back again
And though at first I liked it, it went on and on and on.
'Til that pheasant plucker's plucker felt like twelve feet long
How many pheasants would a pheasant plucker pluck
If a pheasant plucker could pluck pheasants?
"In and out his plucker went.
It scarcely missed a beat
He did it standing on his head and standing on his feet
Sideways, backwards, upside-down, all the long night through
That bloody pleasant plucker,
I swear I felt him move[?]
How many pheasants would a pheasant plucker pluck
If a pheasant plucker could pluck pheasants?
So all you feathered pheasants, a warning take by me
For a pheasant plucker's plucker is and awful sight to see
And though you may be tempted to try the plucker's skill
A little plucking's pleasant but a lot can make you ill.
How many pheasants would a pheasant plucker pluck
If a pheasant plucker could pluck pheasants?
How many pheasants would a pheasant plucker pluck
If a pheasant plucker could pluck pheasants?
- AO Record Company.
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Ribald Classics Vol. 5: Pheasant Pluckers
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