35th TAC Fighter Wing (1966)

Below are two 35th Tactical Fighter Wing songbooks purchased together which obviously make matched pair because they are printed by the same publisher and, more importantly, the Dirty Ditties volume contains the songs not found in the "official" 35 TAC FTR WG Song Book. If you wish to verify the text below, please download the PDFs of the scanned pages.

INDEX

Page
A House Without Love Is Not A Home 1
A Man Without A Woman 1
Abdul Abulbul Amir 2
Ace In The Hole 3
After The Missions' Over 4
Air Force "801" 4
Air Force Lament 5
Air Force Song 6
Bell Bottom Trousers 7
Be Nobody's Darlin'But Mine 8
Blue Eyes 8
Beside A Korean Waterfall 8
Bosom Buddies 9
Bring That Base Leg In 9
Bury Me Oat On The Prairie 10
By The Light Of The Silvery Moon 10
Casey Jones 11
Chicken Song 12
Cigarettes And Whiskey 12
Cigarettes, Whiskey, And Wild, Wild Women 12
$ 1 Clismas Song 13
Cool Water 13
Cowboy Jack 14
Come And Join The Air Force 15
Dashing Through The Sky 16
Downtown 16
Dixie 17
Early Abort 18
Falsies In Brassieres 18
Far Above Cayuga's Waters 19
Flak Showers 19
For Her Lover Who Was Far, Far Away 19
Frankie And Johnie 20
Frankie And Johnie Con't 21
For Me And My Gal 21

Page
Give Me Operations 22
Give My Regards To Broadway 22
Good Nite, Irene 23
"Good Old Mountain Dew" 24
Green Beret 25
Guinea Waterfall 25
Have I Told You Lately That I Love You 26
Have You Ever Been Lonely? 26
Hello Cam Ranh Tower 27
He Grasped Me By My Slender Neck 28
Here's To The Next Man To Die 28
Hog Driver 28
Home On The Range 29
I Heard A Crash On The Highway 29
If You Fly 30
I Want To Play Piano 31
If You Fly 31
If You've Got The Money, I've Got The Time 32
In The Evening By The Moonlight 32
In-Flight Refueling 33
I'm Just Driftwood On The River 34
Itazuke Ort 34
It's Hard For Me To Be A Bad Girl 35
I've God Fortunes In Memories 35
I've Got Six-Pence 35
Jet Pilots In The Skies 3g
Just Because 3g
"John Black, The Red-Nose Colonel" 37
Just A Good Old Rebel 38
Just Give Me Operations 39
Kentucky Babe 40
Kuni-Ri And Antung 49
Keep The Home Fires Burning 41
Lament Of The Reservist 4r
Landlord, Fill The Flowing Bowl 42

Page
Let The Rest Of The World Go By 43
Let The World Go By 43
Lydia Pinkam 43
Let's Have A Party 44
Let's Say Goodbye Like We Said Hello 45
Lilly From Piccadilly 46
Lili Marlene 47
Long Long Trail 47
Mig 15 43
Minnie The Mermaid 48
Moonshine 49
"Moving On" 49
My Gal Sal 50
My God How The Money Rolls In 50
My Wild Irish Rose 50
Napalm 51
Oh, La La 52
Oh Little Town Of Ho-Chi-Min 52
Old Smokey 53
On Moonlight Bay 53
On Top Of Old Fuji 54
On Top Of The Pop Up 34
On Top Of Old Pyongyang 55
On Top Of Old Smokey 56
-Once They Were Happy 56
One Hundred Missions 57
O'Riley's Bar 58
Our Leaders 58
Over There 59
Pack Up Your Troubles 59
Parties, Banquets And Balls 60
Philadelphia Lawyer 60
Paddy Murphy 61
Pilot's Plea 61
Pop Goes The Weasel 61
Prisoner's Song 62
Ragged But Right 62

Page
63
Rail Cutter
_ t- bo
Reccy To Berlin
* t- 64
Red Nose Migs
Red River Valley J*
Republic's Ultra Hog 65
65
Roger Young
Roll Your Leg Over 66
Rolling Down The Runway 66
Safe Hand Mail 67
Saga Of The Old 36ta 67
Save Fighter Pilot's Life (I) 68
Save A Fighter Pilot's Life (II) 69
Seeing Nellie Home 70
Shanty Town 71
She's More To Be Pitied 71
Shine On Harvest Moon 71
So Long 72
Show Me The Way To Go Home 73
Song Of The Wolf Pack 73
Stand To Your Glasses 74
Strafing In A Mountain Pass 75
Sweeter Than The Flowers 75
Sweetheart of Sigma Chi 76
Swing Low Sweet Chariot 76
TAC Headquarters 76
Tell Me Why 76
Tell Me Your Dream 77
Tennessee Waltz 77
That Old Gang Of Mine 77
The Blue Tail Fly 78
The Coed And The Cadet 78
The Cowboy's Lament 79
The Foggy, Foggy Dew 79
The Ho-Chi-Min Trail 80
The Man Behind The Armor Plated Desk 80
The Little Brown Mouse 81
The Persian Rjtty 81

Page
The Red River Valley 82
The Thud Drivers Theme 82
The Yellow Rose Of Hanoi 83
There Are No Fighter Pilots 84
Throttle Bender 85
Tipperary 8°
Tiptanks And Tailpipes 86
Titanic 87
Tramp, Tramp, Tramp 87
Trash Haulers In The Sky 88
Twelve Days Of Tet 89
Violate Me 89
Virgin Sturgeon 90
Vive L' Amour 90
Wabash Cannonball 91
Waltzing Matilda 92
Warm Summers Morning (O'Rileys Bar) 92
Wait Till The Sun Shines Nellie 93
Way Back In The Hills 93
"We're Here For Fun" 94
When You Were Sweet Sixteen 94
When You Wore A Tulip 94
When Your Leaves Have Turned To Silver 94
Where Have All The Old Heads Gone 95
Whiffenpo6f Song 98
Who Knows 96
Who Owns This Club 97
Wild Weasel 57
Will The Migs Come Out To Play 38
Wreck Of- Old Ninety-Seven 99
Yellow Rose Of Texas 100
You Can Tell A Fighfer Pilot ICC
You'd Better Get Yourself A Guy 100
Zoot-Suits And Parachutes 101

A House Without Love Is Not A Home

For years we both have lived on pride, dear,
And we agree that love is gone
Why, oh, why do we keep trying
A house without love is not a home,
The love light in your eyes is faded,
And I'm contented just to ream.
We paly to gain a worthless treasure,
A house without love is not a home.
No matter where our footsteps wander,
I know we'll both be all alone
With the pride that came between us,
A house without love is not a home.
The simple things have gone forever,
We wanted wealth to call our own,
And now we've reached the hour of parting
A house without love is not a home.

A Man Without A Woman

A man without a woman
Is like a ship without a sail
Is like a boat without a rudder
Like a kite without a tail

A man without a woman
Is like a shipwreck on the sand
But if there's one thing worse in the universe
It's a woman, I said a woman
I mean a woman without a man

For you can roll a silver dollar
Cross the bar room floor
And it will roll, because it's round
And a woman never knows what a good man she's got
Until she turns him down

So honey listen, now honey listen to me
I want you to understand
That a silver dollar goes from hand to hand
While a woman goes from man to man

A Man Without A Woman

A man without a woman is like a ship
without a sail,
Just like a boat without a rudder
a kite without a tail.
A man without a woman is like a wreck
cast on the sand.
But if there's one thing worse
in the universe,
It's a woman, I said a woman,
it's a woman without a man.
- 1 -

Now you can roll a silver dollar
'cross the barroom floor,
\nd it'll roll because it's round,
A 'woman nver knows what a good man
siie»s got
Uitil she turns him down.
How, listen, my honey, won't you listen
to me
I want you to understand
just as a silver dollar goes
from hand to hand,
A woman goes from man to man - In old
Pawtucket
A woman goes from man to man.

Abdul Abolbnl Amir

The sons of the prophet are brave and bold, and quite
Unaccustom'd to fear, But the bravest of all in the ranks of
the Shah was Abdul Abulbul Amir.

If you wanted a man to encourage the van or harass the foe from
The rear, Storm fort or redoubt, you had only to shout for
Abdul Abulbul Amir.

Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fame
In the troops hat were led by the Czar and the
bravest of these was man by the name of Ivan
Skavinsky Skavar

He could imitate Irving, paly poker and pool, and
Strum on the Spanish guitar, In fact quite the
Cream of the Muscovite team was Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
One day this bold Russian had shouldered his gun,
and donned his most truculent sneer, Downtown he
did go, where he trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir

"Young man", Quoth Abdul, "Has life grown so dull
That you wish to end your career? Vile infidel,
Know, you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir."

Said Ivan, "My friend, Your remarks in the end
Will avail you but little I fear, For you ne!r
Will survive to repeat them alive, Mr. Abdul Abulbul Awir."
So take your lest look at surshJne and brooks
And send your regrets to the Czar, For by 'this
I simply, you are going to die. Count Ivan Shavinsky Skavar"
Then this bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,
with a cry of "Allah Akbar",
And with murderous intent he ferociously went for Ivan Skavinskj?
Skavar
- 2 -

They parried and thrust, they sidestepped and cussed
Of blood they spilled a great part; The philolgist
Blokes, who seldom cracked jokes, say that hash was first
Made on that spot

They fought all that night, 'neath the pale yellow light J
The din, it was heard from afar, and huge multitudes came,
So great was the fame, of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.

As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life, i'n fact
He was shouting "Krzzah," He felt himself struck by that
wily Calmuck, Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
The Sultan drove by in his red-breasted fly, expecting
the victor to cheer, But he only drew nigh to bear xhe
last sigh of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

CZAR Pertovich tool in his snecfcacles blue, rode
up in his new crested car. He arrived just in time
To exchange a last line with Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

There's a tomb rises up where the Blue Danube ^olls,
And 'graved there in characters clear, are, "Stranger,
When passing, oh pray for the soul of Abdul Abulbul Amir.

A splash in the Black Sea one dark raoeniess night,
Caused ripples to spread wide and far, It was made
By a sack fitting close to the back, Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar,
A muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps, "neath
The light of the pale polar star, and the name
That she murmurs so soft as the weeps, Is Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.

Ace In The Hole

Oh the world is full of guys, who think
they're mighty wise
Just because they know a thing or two
You can see them night and day strolling
up and down brosrdway
Telling of the things that they can do
Oh there are wise men and there are boozers
Con men and crap shooters, they all hang
around the Metropole
Wearing fancy ties and collars, where*do
they get those dollars
They all have that ace down in the hole
Some of them write to the old folks, for coin
that's theirr old ace in the hole
Others have girls on the old tender-loin
That's their ace in the hole
They'll tell you of places that they're
going to see
From Frisco to the old north pole
But their name would be mud, like a chump
playing stud
If they lost that old ace in the hole

- 3 ~

awpt The Mfosion's Over
After the mission's over
After we all get back
We get interrogated
Where did you see the flak?
How were the Jerry fighters?
What time was tally ho?
Have you any bitches?
If not you may go.
We like the P-47
We think they handle swell
We like to fly formation
WeJre all as nuts as Hell
We like tne fighter peal-off
It will kill us all some day
Land in 15 seconds
Or the Colonel will nave to say
(Anyname), you straggled all $ay
used poor techniques
__________ yon ha<j four head tip
WeTTnistve a short critique /oi?
missed the land fall-in ___
________you -will report
Why,' wit'h or>lv rm<s «ng o2f
You had tc aoorc

Air Force "801"
(Tunes Vaoasi C&nntri Bally

Listen to the rui>Ve Ofc hear olJ iI@t! if to"»t
I'm flying o^-sr ilo_±s Iaac I Jswr Jlc bet^re
Hear the mighty "as.ii o£ the si pstreaai
And hear old fey il -"oar
I'll wait ? jilt "oo. say a 'or-aye c aaa bo^e it g3*s Me ac»s.

Itazuke to^e, i,aic j.s Ai-" Force 301
I'm turning on tae aoTO-s'ipd lag
My prop has 0¥esr-=run
My collant's overheated, the gauge says one-two-one
You'd better calx tne crash cxev, 9"4 get them on the run

Air Force 801, this is Itazuke tower
I cannot call the crash crew, 'cause this is coffae hour?
You're not cleared in the pattern, now that is plain to see,
So take it on around again, we nave some VIP!

Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I m turning on the downwind leg, I see your biscuit gun.
My engine's running rough, and the coolant's gonna blow
1 m gonna buy a Mustang, so look out down below!
- 4 -

ltazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I'm turning on the final, and runnin on one lung
I'm gonna land this Mustang, no matter what you'say
I gotta get my charts fixed up before that judgement day!

Air Force 801, this is judgement day
You're in Pilot's Heaven, and you are here to stay!
You just bought s. Mustang, and you bought it well
The famous Air Force 801 was sent straight to Hell!

Air Force Lament _
(Tu*i@ Battle Hymn o£ the Republ ic)

Mine eyes have seen the days of »ea who rraleel the fighting s&y
With hearxs chat laughed at deata and lived for nothing but to fly
But now these hearts are grounded and those days are long gone »y,
The Air Force lias gone to HELL

CHOHUS
5T5ry^—»-"Flying Regulations aave theas read at e'/exy station
Crucify the man who Breeds citem
The Axr Force hme sone tc HELL

Hj bones hare felt tn&ir wuaJiBg thump a hunareci tho ,,dar& strong,
A *Aib£y tirbsfias legioa 3ent „o fxg^t ifaa deadly reasg,
Bt't »o* it a ©nl/ aeacty it only liTes in aoag.
Tti<= ^-r Fo^cs h£,s gene to as 11

I lifiVffl sesz taw ib i,2©i» 'r~3olts r^nn '■iiej.^ eyse re »e oancing * sue5
I've Siei „b.i»i:: 3C.4<8'£i2,g jxer f"'*3a ch« t 3cis*.eo Gear.rg's iaie,
Bus esj i^u*f fly lis*- siesSi.®3 z*n? ca? ^hexr asats ■>« sfeaittSj
ThSi,? spirit, 8s a tot 1© fiEIL

They £1«t thoii? Tagged ThUB&Ca jscs thropje & Jivaag \elZ 3' ?latk,
Ana bldoCy fifing flirts gave tisels? It res ta ar^rg ihsat back,
But new t5i©<? all play Ping Pans In £fca O^aratioas sbac1.
Their teciniqvie'a jobs to HELL

Yesj the lordly Besiag Fortress aad the Liberators, too,
Once Trote the doom of Germany with contrails j.n the olue
But now the skies are empty and ©ur planes are wet with dew,
And wb can't fly them for HHLL

You heard your pounding 50Js blase from wings ©f polished steel,
The purring of your Merlin was a song you* 'ieart could feel,
But now we're closely supervised for fear we may do wrong,
The Air Force has gone to HELL

We were cocky, bold and happy when we played the angelss game,
We split the blue With buzzing and we rolled nur way to fame.
Sut now that's all VERBOTEN and we're all so gosh-damn tame,
Our spirit's shot to HELL

- 5 -

One «*a;r J fcuzzad an axrfield with anotner reckless chap,
STe fiew a hot formatj >a uitb his wingtip in my lap,
But there*s a aw directive and we'll have no more of that,
Or yaw trill burn in HKLL

&_&«« y©ng

Off re go, into the wild fclue yonder
Cleaning highs into the sun
Esrt ttey eoae zooming to meet owr thunder
M "era boys, ^±ve her the gun,
D"a ^e dife, spouting our fl&rae from under,
0-J Tith ©ne hell of a roars
~,iz live in iMe, c? go down in flaae?

CEORTJS

Here's i toa&t to the host of those who boast
the vastness of the sky
To a, fri&vd t?3 send a message of
His brotner mea who fly,
We drink t© those who gave their all of old
As down we roar to score the rainbow*s pot of gold.
Here's 9 least to the host of those who boast
The U.S.. Air Force;

Minds of men fashioned a crate of thunder,
Set it high into the blue?
Hands ol uien blasted the world asunder;
How they lived God only knew;
(God only knew then;)
Souls of men dreaming of skies to conquer
Gave us wings, ever to soar
With fighters before and bombers galore.
Nothing*11 stop the U.S. Air Force

Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Keep the wings level and true;
If you'd live to be a grey-haired wonder
Keep your nose out of the blue
(Out of the blue, boy)
Flying men, guarding the nation's border,
We'll be there, followed by more
In' echelon we carry on,
Nothing* 11 stop the U.S. Aj.r Force
- 6 -

Bell Bottom Trdwera

Once I was a chamber aaid
Down in Brury .Laae
My mistress she n&s kiael to a©
My master was th® sasae
'Till along .ease a sailor
Happy as could toe
He was the cause of all sy misery.

CHORUS :
Bell Bottom trousers
Coats of Navy Blue
He'll climb the riggin'
Like his daddy used to do,

He asked me for a Kerchief
To tie about his head■
He asked me for a candle
To light his way to bed
And I a silly maiden
Thinking it no harm
Jximped right in the sailor's bed
To keep the sailor warm.

CHORUS:
Early in the morning
About the break of day
A five pound note he gave to me
And this to me did say
You may have a daughter or
You may bave a son
Take this note my clear
For the damage I have done.

CHOSOSi
If you Jsave a daughter
Bounce har on your knee
And if you ha^e ■& son
Send the bastard out to sea.
Singings CHORUS'

Now the asoral of ttjis story
As you oaa plainly sss l£
Never trust a sailor
Ac. inch above the Irass.
- 7 -

Be Nobody's Pari! n" But Mine

Come sit by my side little darlin*
Come lay your cool hand on my brown,
And promise me that you will never
Be anybody's darling but mine.
CHORUS
Be nobody's darlin' but mine, dear,
Be honest, be faithful, be kind,
And promise me that you will never
Be nobody's darlin' but mine.

Now mother has gone up in heaven,
And father has gone down below,
Sister has gone to meet mother,
And I'm left in this sad world along
........... .CHORUS

You're sweet as the flower in springtime,
You're fresh as the dew on the rose,
I'd rather be somebody's darlin*
Than a poor boy who nobody knows
............CHORUS

Bine Eyes

I am thinking tonight of my blue eyes
Who is sailing far over the sea,
0, I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
And I wonder if he ever thinks of me

You told me once dear that You'd love me,
And you said that we never would part,
But a link in that chain has been broken,
Leaving me with a sad and aching heart.

When that cold, cold, cold grave has enclosed me,
Will you come dear and shed just one tear,
And say to the strangers about me,
A poor heart you have broken lies here.

Beside A Korean Waterfall

Beside a Korean waterfall, one bright and sunny day;
Beside his shattered Sabre, the young Pursuiter lay.
His parachute hung from a nearby tree, he was not yet quite dead.
Now listen to the very last words, the young pursuiter said.

I'm going to a better land. Where everything is bright.
Where whiskey flows from telegraph poles; and there's poker
every night.

There's never anything to do, but sit around and sing.
Where all the crews are women —~ 0, fleathe where is thy sting.
- 8 -

0, death where is they sting, ting-a-ling, 0, death where is
thy sting.

The bells of hell may ring, ting-a-ling, for you but not for met

Bosom Baddies

A fighter pilot lay dying
Tte -medics had left him for dead
Around*, hia women were crying
And these are the words that he said.

Why did I join the Air Force?
Mother, dear Mother knew best.
Here I lay under the wreckage
An "80" all over my chest.
Take the dive brakes out of my kidneys,
Take the buckets out of my brain,
Take the throttle out of my shinbone,
And assemble that Allison again.

CHORUS
We are the boys who fly high in the sky,
Bosom buddies while boozing.
We are the lads that they sent out to die;
Bosom buddies while boozing.

There in the hangar they sing and they shout,
They talk about things they know nothing about.
We are the boys who fly in the sky,
Bosom buddies while boozing

Bring That Base Leg_|n

(Tune: Pistol Packing Mama)

Flying "round the pattern
And was I having fun
Until one day I undershot
And now my flying's done.
CHORUS
Bring that base-leg in, boys
Bring that base-leg in,
Space yourself on the forty-five
And bring that base-leg in.

Oh the pieces flies and the pieces fell
As I slid into the ground,
And all the while the tower yelled,
"Pull up and go around."
- 9 -

p^y At* Oat On The Prairie

Now I've got no use for the women,
A true one may seldom be found,
They use a man for his money,
When it's gone they'll turn him down.
They're all alike at the bottom,
Selfish and grasping for all,
They'll stay by a man while he's winnin'
And laugh in his face at his fall.

Now my pal was an honest young puncher,
Honest and upright and true,
But he turned to a hard shooting gunman
On account of a gal named lou.
He fell in with evil companions,
The kind that are better off dead,
When a gambler insulted her picture
He filled him full of lead.

All thru the long night they trailed him,
thru mesquite and thick chapparel,
And I couldn't help think of the -women,
As I saw him pitch and fall.
If she'd been the pal that she should have
They might have been raisin' a son
Instead of out there on the paririe
To die by the ranger's gun.

0, bury me out on tlie prairie,
Where the coyotes may rowl o'er my grave,
Bury me out on the prairie,
But from them my bones please save.
Wrap me up in my hlti.set, and bury me deep in the ground.
Of granite cold and i'ound.

So we buried hiin out ja the oiairie,
'Vhere the coyotes i^isr Titml o'or bi." g,r-a.ve,
Ani his soul is i>ot n-i'estin"
Frosi th'3 «J"i"<iRd c;t _iie gava
And j-»o;' ' zozaei yuung puncher,
As he r-idse u?.st th?: pile oi atoaes,
Remembers s m a^'-'/soajt
And thinks -i tIe ,,-r Jerlng banes.

By tie light of .re c.. .t->t7 coon.
1 loi/e to spoon.
To my hoaay i'n craji' lo"j2a tune;
Honeymoon, Keec on afciiiiio3 \n -Tune,
Your silvery beams ■will briig love's
dreams,
We'll be cuddlin' soon,
By the light of the moon.
— 10 -

Casey Jones
Come all you rounders if you want to hear
The story about a brave engineer
Casey Jones was the rounder's name
On a six-eight wheeler, boys he won his fame.

Now the caller called Casey at a half past four,
He kissed his wife at the station door,
He mounted to the cabin with his orders in his hands,
And he took his farewell tourney to the promised land.

CHORUS: Casey Jones, mounted to the cabin
Casey Jones, orders in his hand,
Casey Jones, mounted to the cabin,
And he took his farewell journey to the promised land

Shovel in your water and shovel in your coal,
Head out the window watch them drivers roll,
He turned to the fireman and he said,
"We're going to reach "Frisco but we'll all be dead."

He looked at his watch and his watch was slow
He looked at the water and the water was low.
He turned to the fireman and he said, "Boy, you better jump,
'Cause there's two locomotives that are going to bump."

CHORUS: Casey Jones, Two locomotives,
Casey Jones, that are going to bump,
Casey Jones, Two locomotives,
Yes, there's two locomotives that are going to bump.

Casey pulled up that Reno Hill,
The sound of that whistle was awful shrill,
The switchmen knew by the engine's moan,
That the man at the throttle was Casey Jones,

Casey said just before he died,
There's two more lines he'd like to ride,
The firemen said, "What can they be?"
The Southern Pacific and ths Santa Fe.

Mrs. Jones sat on the bed a-singin',
Just received the message that Casey was dying.
Said "Go to bed, children, and hush your crying,
'Cause you got another poppa on the Salt Lake Line."

CHORUS: Mrs. Casey Jones, got another Poppa,
Mrs. Casey Jones, on the Salt Lake Line,,
Mrs. Casey Jones, got another poppa
Yes, you got another poppa on the Salt Lake Line.
-11 -

Chicken Song
#e fly the Sabre with Fourth Fighter Group
Ask any Lt, he'll give you the poop
We sit in the cockpit and push on a rudder
But when we're in trouble,
We help one anudder.

The MIG io a blight on the whole human raca
When you're north of Chinapo, there"re found every place
They've got apes for pilots and they're hard to tame
If you*re not a hot rock, they'll snoot you down in flames,

Cigarettes_And_WWsJ|«y

I had some chickens, no eggs would they lay,
I had some chickens, no eggs would fcney lay,
My wife said, "Honey, It is striking me funny,
There8re losing us money, no eggs will they lay,"

One day a rooster flew into the yard
And caught those chickens, right off their £uard.
Ther'ra laying eggs now, just like thej used to do.
Ever since that rooster flew into our yard.

Once I was happy and had a good wife;
I had enough money to last me for life.
I met a gal and we went on a spree;
She taught me to smoke and to drink whiskey.

CHORUS:

Cigareets and whiskey and wild, wild women,
They'll drive you grassy, they'll drive you insane.
Cigareets and whiskey and wild, wild women,
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane.

Cigareets is a blot on the whole human race,
A man is a monky with one in his face.
Here's my definition, believe me, dear brother:
"A fire on one end, a fool on the other."

CHORUS:

Brother repent or they'll write on your grave;
"To women and whiskey here lies a poor slave."
Take warning dear stranger, tak'e warning Hear friend;
They'll write in big letters these words at your end.

CHORUS i
- 12 -

j» Ciismas Song
Chestnuts roasting on a Thailand fire,
Bull frogs singing in the choir,
Samlars singing Ho, Ho, Ho,
It's Melly Clismas you know.

Geicos clawling acloss the.cold bare floor,
Flied lice cooking on the stove,
lee Lucks kissing neath the mis tie toe,
It's Melly Clismas you Know

Sweet lips waiting for my tender kiss,
Garlic breath gets in my way,
VC's roasting in an napalm fire.
Melly Clismas Uncle Ho.

Cripples limping down a small side street,
Napalm rising at their feet,
I dropped it low, but they went too slow,
Melly Clisstas dear Ho.

VC saaking iove near rice paddy,
Tee Lucks eyes are all aglow,
Twenty mike-mikes up his ass,
Tee Luck screaming go, go, go.

Wolf Pack sends greetings from old Robin Olds,
Chappie joined him liver there,
We'll carry on, the stars will be bright,
Over Ubon R.jachtani tonight.....

Cooi Water

All day I've faced the barren waste,
Without the taste of water, cool, clear water,
Old Dan and I, our throats so dry,
It's souls that cry for water, cool, clear water.

CHORUS:
Keep a movin' Dan, don't you listen to him Dan,
He's a devil not a man,
And he spreads the burning =>ands with water,
Dan, can you see that big green tree,
Where the water's flowing free,
And it's waiting there for you and me.

The nights are cool, and I'm a fool,
Each star's a pool of water, cool, clear water,
But with the dawn 1*11 wake and yawn,
And carry on to water, cool clear water.

CHORUS
- 13 -

The shadows sway and seem to say,
Tonight we pray for water, cool, clear water,
And way up there he'll hear our prayer,
And show us where there's water, cool, clear water.

CHORUS

Dai's feet are sore, he's yearning for
Just one thing more than water, cool, clear water.
Like me I guess he'd like to rest
Where there's no quest for water, cool, clear water.

CHORUS

Cowboy Jack

Now Jack was a cowboy,
With heart so kind and true,
He learned to love a maiden,
With eyes of heavenly blue,
They learned to love each other,
And set their wedding day,
But a quarrel came between them,
And Jack, he rode away,

He joined a band of cowboys,
And tried to forget her name,
But out of the lonely prairie,
She waits for him the same.
One day when work was over,
Just at the close of the day,
The boys said, "Sing a song, Jack,
And drive your cares away"

And as he sang this song, boys,
His thoughts then drifted back,
To the girl on the lonely prairie,
Who waits for her cowboy, Jack.
Jack left the camp next morning,
Breathing his sweetheart's name.
"I'll go and ask forgiveness,
For I know that I'm the blame."

But when he reached the prairie,
He found a new-made mound,
And his friends they sadly told him
They'd laid his loved one down,
They said as she was dying,
She breathed her sweetheart's name,
And asked them with her last breath
To tell him when he came.

Your sweetheart awaits for you, Jack,
Your sweethear waits for you
Out on the lonely prairie,
Where the skies are always blue.

Ift -

Come And Join The Air Force

Come in and join the Air Force, it's a grand place so they say
You never have to work at all, just fly around all day.
While others work and study hard, and soon grow old and blind
We'll take the air without a care, and you'll never mind.

CHORUS: On, never mind, no, never mind,
0, come on and join the Air Force,
And you'll never mind.

Come on and get promoted as big as you desire,
You're riding on a gravy train when you're an Air Force flier,
But just when you're about to be a general you'll find
The engine coughs, the wings fall off, and you'll never mind.

CHORUS

You're flying o'er the ocean, you hear your engine spit
You see your prop come to a stop, the G— d--- engine's quit.
The ship won't float, you cannot swim, the shore is miles behind.
Oh, what a dish for the crabs and fish, but you'll never mind.

CHORUS

Oh, when you loop and spin her, and with an awful tear,
You'll see your stubby wings fall off, but you will never care.
For in about two minutes, Mac, another pair you'll find.
You'll fly with Pete and the angels sweet, and you'll never mind.

CHORUS

Oh, then you meet a Fokker, he shoots you down in flames,
Don't waste your time belly achin' and callin* the beggar names.
Just push you stick into the ground, and pretty soon you'll find
There ain't no hell and all is well, and you'll never mind.

CHORUS

Oh, we're just a bunch of Air Force lads, and we don't give a d—~
About the groundings' point of-view and all that sort of ham.
We want a hundred thousand ships of each and every kind,
And now we've got our' own Air Fortfe, so we'll never mind.

CHORUS

While flying over the jungle, in my P-39
There's just one thing that I would like for you to keep in mind,
I only have one engine jack, and if that bastard quits
It will be up there all by itself, for I will shit and get

CHORUS
- 15 -

Bashing Through The Sky
fTune; Dashing tnrough the Snow">
Dashing through the sky,
In a foxtrot one-oh five,
Through the flack we fly
Trying to stay alive,
The SAMs destroy our calm,
The MIGs come up to play
What fun it is to strafe and bomb
The T.R.V. today.

CHORUS
CBUs, Mark 82s, 750s too,
Daddy Vulcan strikes again
Our Christmas'gift to you.

Trying to stay,alive
The SAMs destroy our calm,
The MIGS come up to play
What fun it is to strafe and bomb
The T.R.V. today?

(CHORUS CBUs, Mark 82s, 750 s too,
Daddy Vulcan strikes again,
Our Christmas gift to you.

Heads up Ho-Chi-Min
The "Fives are on their way"
Your luck it has give in,
There's gonna be hell to pay,
Today it is our turn,
To make you gawk and stare
What fun it is to watch things burn
And blow up everywhere!!!
(CHORUS)

Downtown

When you got a belly full o' bravo's
and shyspots you can always go —
Downtown.
When you been drinkin' and "cancel"
your're thinkin', you are sure to go —• Downtown.
Listen to the music of the Fan Songs
softly singing
Look and see the contrails of the
MIGs so swiftly winging
Sweat out the booze.
The flak is much blacker there
It shakes up the pilots
It shakes up the bears
To go downtown
Tried flying fast and slow Downtown
Tried flying high and low Downtown
Everything's shooting at youu.

- 16 -

Look and see the airfields with their
runways so inviting
See the interceptors coming up to join the fighting
Get out of here
SAM's are much thicker there
Come up in singles
Come up in pairs - Downtown
Everything's waiting for you.

Just when it seems lOO come quickly,
you can always go — Downtonw
Somehow the feeling in your stomach gets
sickly when you have to go —Downtown
Crew chiefs launch their aircraft with a
pride and care amazing
Proudly watch the Thunderchiefs, their
afterburners blazing
They're going again
Our buddies are jailed up there
We still remember and we still all care
So we go - Downtown
Til it is o'er and done - Downtown
Til it is through and won - Downtown
Everything's waiting for you,

Dixie

I wish I was in de land of cotton,
Old times dar am not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away, Dixieland,
In Dixieland where I was born in
Early on a frosty morning'
Look away, look away, look away, Dixieland.

CHORUS
"0"fr7"T~wish I was in Dixje, Hurrah, Hurrah,
In Dixie land I'll take my stand
To liye and die in Dixie,
Away, away, away down south in Dixie.

Dar's buckwhea^ cakes and Injun batter
Makes you fat or a little fatter.
Look away..............................
Den hoe it down and scratch your grabble
To Dixieland I'm bound to trabble,
Look away..............................
CHORUS
- 17 -

Early Abort

Oh, my name is Rupert Leader, I'm the leader of the group,
Just step into my briefing room; I'll give you all the poop.
I'll tell you where the Lufwaffe is and how to dodge the flak.
I'll be the last one takes off, the first one to get back.
CHORUS
Early abort, avoid the rush;
Early abort, now don't delay.

Now we'll all line up and take off and set our course at 10:00
And when we reach the channel we will all turn back again.
We'll call the tower and get a steer; we don't know where we've bee
Drop your tanks and canopies, peel off and belly in.
CHORUS
Oh, we fly those red-tailed jugs at a hundred bloody feet.
We can fly them in the rain and fog and in the bloody sleet.
We think we're flying bloody south, instead we're bloody north,
And we make our bloody land fall at the fourth of bloody forth.
CHORUS
Oh, we fly those red-tailed jugs at a hundred bloody feet.
We fly them in the rain and fog and in the bloody sleet.
And when we're flying bloody high, we're flying bloody low,
And we hit the barker beacon such an awful bloody blow.
CHORUS
"Early abort, avoid the rush.
Early abort, now don't delay.
Oh, ny name is Rupert Leader,
I'm the leader of the group with all the poop

Falsies In Brassieres

There's nothing canbe better than a #irl that wears a sweater
Tho she may not be as big as she appears
They've got an awful lot of falsies in brassieres.

Her pullmonary muscles may resemble Janie Russell's
And she'll say she got that way from drinking beer.
They've got an awful lot of falsies on brassieres.

So round—so firm— and so fully packed
You'll find it's just an act
Give a girl a Bally Bra and she will grow—grown—grown

Now I have made a careful study with the help of my best buddies
And a hundred thousand women volunteers
They've got an awful lot of Falsies in Brassieres.

So fellow fore you wed her, please investigate her sweater
Or you'll find your honeymoon will end in tears
They've got an awful lot of Falsies in Brassieres.
- 18 -

E^L^ksiisJP^iHil/*'62 ^f.ft'ir
Fai aoove Cayuga's watcif,
Wx1 b 3ts waves of blue
Stands our noble t ima Ma^r,
Glorious to vie ',
CHOSUS
"ETfTTThp chorus, spend it oii»ard,
Land her praises tell.
flail to thee, zur Alma Ma+er,
Hail, all Hail Cornell

Halt_Sbgwera
(Tane; April gnawers)

Although flak showers ray cce your way
They*31 bring the panic, that saakes
you say
\JSrj fuel i<5 Josepbme, I'm going home
So if yo'j wan1 to stay and fight,
you ma/
Stay and fight alore!
Ive add»d throttle, I'tJ on my way
I'JI live to come back Eome other day.
So keep on straficg that position
Ard knock it out for me
I'm just 3 close supporter, can't, you
see!

Round her neck she wore a yellow ribbon,
She w*ie 3t in December and in the
month of May—Hey Hey,
But when they asked her woy the heil
She wore it,
She said 'twas for her lover who vas
far, far away.

CHOPUS

Far &ws>y, far away, oh she wore it
for her lo^er who was far. far away
Far a*?ay, far a%wa> , oh, she wore it
for her lover who was far, far away.

Behind the door, her father placed a
shotgun,
It stood there in December and in tne
month of May---Hey, hey
But when they asked her why the hell
it stood there,
She said 'twas for ner lover who was far,
far away,
..... .............CHORUS

- 19 -

Frankie And Johaie

Frankie and Jofanie were lovers, 0 my gawd how they
did love, they swore to be true to each other, just as
true as the stars up above, He was her man, but he done her wrong.

Frankie she was a good woman, just like everyone knows,
She'd give a man a hundred dollars just to buy himself a suit,
"0 my gawd", said Frankie, "But don't my Johnie look cute? He was
her man, etc.

Frankie went down to Memphis, she went on the morning train,
She paid a hundred dollars, for Johnie a watch and chain, He
was her man, etc.

Frankie lived down in a crib-house, crib house with only two doors,
gave all her money to Johnie, he spent it on those parlor whores,
He was her man, etc.

Frankie went down to the corner, just for a bucket of beer,
She said,"Oh, Mr. Bar-tender, has my loving' johnie been here
He is my man, and he wouldn't do me wrong".

"I don't want to cause you no trouble, I don't want to tell you no
lie, But I saw your lover half an hour ago, With a girl named Nelly
Bly, He is your man, But he's doing you wrong."

Frankie went down to the pawn shop, She bought herself a little
forty-four, She aimed it at the ceiling and shot a big hole in
the floor, Where is my igan? He's doing me wrong."

Frankie went down to the Hotel, She rang that Hotel bell, Stand
back, all of you chippies, or I'll blow you all to hell, I want
my man, He's doing' me wrong."

Frankie looked over the fransom, And there to her great surprise,
Yes there on the bed sat Johnie, making love to Nellie Bly, He
was her man, etcc.

Frankie threw back her kimona, She took out the little forty~four,
Root-a-toot-toot, three times she shot, Right through that hard"
wood door, She shot her man, Because he done her wrong.

"loll me over easy, Roll me over slow Roll me over easy, Boys,
Ciuse my wounds they hurt me so.
I was her man, and I done her wrong."

"siring out your rubber-tired carriage, Bring out your rubber tired
hack, I'm going to take my man to the cemetary, and I ain't a-goin'
to bring him back, He was my man, 'Cause he done me wrong."
- 20 -

Frankie And Johaie Gon't

Oh, bring 'round a thousand policemen, Bring 'em around to-day
To lock me in that dungeon, and throw the key away, I shot my man,
"Cause he done me wrong.

Yes, put me in that dungeon, Oh, put me in that cell,
Put me where the northeast wind blows from the southeast corner
of Hell. I shot my man, etc.

Frankie went to his coffin, She looked down on his face,
She said "0 Lord, have mercy on me, I wish I could take his
place. He was her man, etc.

Johnie he was a gambler, He gambled for the gain, the very
Last words he ever said were, "High, low Jack, and the game."
He was her man, etc.

Frankie she said to the warden, "What are they goin* to do?"
The warden he said to Frankie, "It's the electric chair for you.
You shot your man, though he done you wrong."

The judge said to the jury, "It's as plain as plain oan be.
This woman shot her lover. It's murder in the second degree,
He was her man, etc.

Now it was not murder in the second degree, and was not murder in
The third, This woman simply dropped her man like a hunter drops
his bird. He was her man, etc.

Frankie she sits in the parlor, Underneath the electric fan,
Telling her little grandchildren to beware of the gawdam, man,
He'll do you wrong, Just as sure as you're born."

This story ain't got no moral, This story ain't got no end,
This story only goes to show that there ain't no good in men,
He was her man, and he done her wrong.

For Me And My Gal

The bell's are ringing
*'or me and my gal,
The birds are singing
For me and my gal,
Everybody's been knowin'
To a wedding they're going.
And for weeks they've been sewing
Every Susie and Sal
They're congregating
For me and my gal
The Parson's waiting
For me and my gal.
And someday, we're going to build
A little home for twor or three or, four
or more
A loveland, for me and my gal.

- 21 -

Don't give in? an old Phantom TI
That sports not one pilot but two
The guy in the back could just stay in the sack
Don't give me an old Phantom II.

CHORUS: Just give me operations
Way our on some lonely atoll
For I'm too young tc die
I just want to grow old.

Don't frag me for Old Tiger Hound
Bad weather, high mountains abound
They don't give you credit, so screw it forget it
Don't frag me for Old Tiger Hound.

CHO'iUS

And don't frag me for Old Package Six
1*1] be in one hell of a fix
The MIGS a3 1 co'iie on, when ray rsdar is gone
Doa't frag me for Old Package Six

CHORUS

And don't frag me for Silver Dawn V/esi"
Your butt doesn't get any rest
You think it won't last, your poor aching ass
Don't frag me for Silver Dawn West.

CHORUS

And don't frag me for Silvsr Dawn East
I hear its one hell of a beast
Both crew members reek, and you can't take a leak
Don't frag me for Silver Dawn East.

CHORUS

Well I'll take back that Old Phantom II
That sports net one pilot but two
Ihe guy in the front seat, might just sit on his rump
I'll take back an Old Phantom II.

Gjvg_My R_egards_To Broadway

Give my regards to Broadway,
Remember me to Herald Square.
Tell all the boys on Forty-second Street
That I will soon be there.
Tell them of how I'm yearning
To mingle with the old-time throung
Give my regards to old Broadway
And say that I'll be there 'ere long.
- 22 -

Good Nite, Irene

CHORUS
Irene, good nite>
Irene, good nite,
Good night, Irene, Good nite, Irene
1*11 see you in my dreams.

Last Saturday nite I got married,
Me and my wife settled down,
Now me and my wife are parted,
Gonna take a little stroll down town.

CHORUS

Sometimes I live in the country
Sometimes I Jive in the town
Some times I take a great notion
To jump in the river and drown.

CHORUS

Stop your rambling,
Stop your gambling,
Stop staying out late at nite
Go home to your wife and family
And stay by the fireside bright.
- 23 -

Good Old Mountain Pew"
They call it that good old mountain dew-dew-dew
And them that refuse it are few
I'll hush up my mug, if you'll fill up my jug,
With some of that good ole mountain dew.

There's an old hollow tree
Down the road here from me
Where you lay down a dollar or two
Then you go round the bend
And when you come back again
Your jug is full of good ole mountain dew.

Now my cousin Nort
He is sawed off short
He onlj measures bout four foot two
But he thinks he's a giant
When you give him a pint
Of that good ole mountain dew.

My brother, Bill, has a still on the hill
Where he runs off a gallon or two
The buzzards in the sky
Get so drunk they can't fly
Just from smelling that good ole mountain dew.

My ole Aunt June
Bought some brand new perfume
And it had such a sweet smelling phew
But to her surprise
When she had it analyzed
It was nothing but good ole mountain dew.

The preacher passed by
With his wife who had been down with the flu
So I thought that I ort
To give him a snort
Of that good ole mountain dew.

That old 86 really got his kicks
As around that Canuk he flew
Instead of gasoline
In that flying machine
He had a tank of good ole mountain dew.

The flak gets so thick
That it makes you feel sick
When you've been on a rail cut or two
But you'll never abort
If they'll give you a snort
Of that good ole mountain dew.
- 24 -

Green Beret'
tMyke Mather)
There he goes' the PIO
Last to know, first to go
100 times he flys the Huey's
Flown by publicity seeking Luey's

Out to battle he must go
Sent by those in the know
He may take a snipers round
And he left upon the ground.

Fighting men may Pass him Dy
And when they ask, Who was that guy?
I dunno, it's hard to say.
What the hell, Just let him lay.

And when he gets to the golden gate
St. Peter says, You've goofed up mate!
So go to Hell in all your glory,
When you get back, you can do your story.

Gnirea Waterfall

Beside & Guinea waterfall, one bright and sunny day,
Beside his shattered Mustang a young pursuiter lay,
His parachute hung from a nearby tree; he was not yet quite dead
So listen to the very last words that young pursiiiter said.
"I'm going to a better land -sphere everything is bright,
Where whiskey flows froa telegraph poles and there's poker
every night.
There's not a single thing to do but sit around and sing,
Where all our crew chiefs are womennnnnnnnnnn.
Oh, death where is they sting.
Oh, death where is thy sting, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling.
Oh, death where is thy sting.
The bells Of hell will ring ting-a-ling.
For you, but not for me.
-25-

Have I Told You Lately That I Love Yog

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Could I tell you once again somehow?
Have I told you with all my heart and soul how I adore you?
Well, darling, I'm telling you now.

This heart would break in two if you'd refuse me.
I'm no good without you anyhow.
Dear, have I told you lately that I love you?
Well, darling, I'm telling you now.

Have I told you lately that I miss you?
When the stars are shinning in the sky.
Have I told you why the nighfes are long whei* you're not with me?
Well, darling, I'm telling you now.

Have I told you lately when I'm sleeping
Every dream I dream is you somehow
Have I told you who I'd like to share my love forever?
Well, darlingj I'm telling you now.

Have Yon Ever Been Lonely?

Have you ever been lonely
Have you ever been blue
Have you ever loved someone
Just as I love you?
Can't you see that I'm sorry
For each mistake I've made?
Can/t you see I've paid.
Be a little forgiving,
Take me back in your heart
How can I go on living
Now that we're apart.
If you knew what I've been through,
Then you know why I ask you
Have you ever been lonely?
Have you ever been blue?
- 26 -

SSllO-CaHiRanh^Tower (Tune: ltazuke Tower.)
"Hello Cam Ranh Tower, This is Hammer Forty-One.
My BLC lights glowing: I've just lost PC-1.
The engine's running roughly, the EGT is high,
Can you clear me for a straight-in, this birds about to die!"

"Hammer forty-one this is Cam Ranh Tower here,
We'd like to let you in right now, but a Senator is near.
He's here to please constituents, his plane is close at hand,
So please divert to Tuy Hoa, We can't clear you to land."

"Hello Cam Ranh Tower, this is Hammer forty-one,
I'm turning onto final, hydraulic pressures gone.
The generator's off the line, the RPM just fell,
Please send the Senator around, and tell him "War is Hell".

Hammer forty-one this is Cam Ranh Tower again,
You'll have to keep on circling, regardless of your plan.
I'm sorry bout your problem, but you will have to yield.
We must give the priority, to Senator Mansfield.

"Now LISTEN Cam Ranh Tower I'll lay it on the line,
The situations F_____^^ in terse, we're running out of time.
My fuel low level light is on, the birds about to quit,
So tell that goddam Senator he doesn't count for shit"

"Hammer forty-one OSY to channel four,
You'll have to clear with "Air Patch", I can't do any more."
"Roger Cam Ranh Tower, I'm switching channels now
I'm sure Air Patch will clear me, to land this bird somehow."

"Air Patch, Air Patch, Air Patch, this is Hammer forty-one.
The tower made me check with you, to see what could be done.
I know you'll understand my plight, I've confidence in you,
So clear me onto final, send the Senator on through!"

"Sorry bout that - forty-one, your story breaks our heart.
Had this happened only yesterday, we could have done our part.
You will divert to Tuy Hoa, consider this a must,
For Senator Mike Mansfield would not like all this fuss."

"Roger - Roger Air Patch, I get your message clear,
Situation - understood, the VIP's too near.
We'll nurse this bird to Tuy Hoa, on this you can depend,
We'll keep this airplane flying, until the very end."

"MaydayJ Mayday! Crown, this is Hammer forty-one
Our fate is up to you boys now, the home drome let us down.
We can't make it to Tuy Hoa, we'll have to punch out here.
So please alert the Jolly Greens, we hope that help is near!"

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
-27-BEKP

Berrayed by ^oe k@gal<ti A*-n»7,
C?si oiJ dj tie Signal Corps
b i}i»e * ut> for iim moicls flying
And stsyea on for tfa<e@ ysars more.

So stand by y^vr gliss»s stsady,
Fhxs y«jx J ef is> s VDild of lies.
Hefs's \ tca-x to tas de->d aliaiay,
Ara hu-j,»h io*- the neict man to diel

%e lcv»d *i t""» purple sunsel,
Ap sotii ^i t!"» silver/ <1«rwn,
WJth «. fill af black s,»oke bshina us
Tj 5Bj* 'wt> Oujc ?)jddx»s « i^3 gone

Ht.ho>»g th *f< .^n the lc/ »Tir0 rafters
l^se tdin- f«iir the walls o &»;»■,
vo» r £<-> fo^ir- t is *tn*s »< J ii>«jgh «r
Gf the -"d ?'i t< 3/ re 1I> x" tas^-c

Jfe graced m® b. «*y s_ead3„ nect
X f-Su'd >iot yell or sors.siB
Se ^ or Pte „o ftis d_n-y rooj
Wre-*> hs cunl<3 not be s»ob
Ee to*e oit jl\± my flimsy Ai'ps
And gazed apon my form
I ,/as so »ei/ cold and damo
And ne so hot «uad warm
He pressed ice to his eager lips
I could not make him stop
He drained me o± my vary life
To my very lasc drop
Se made me Cbac I am today
Wat's -why yot see me here
A oroken bottle thrown a«cy
That once was iul_ of beer.

Hgg_Dnvgr

Fog Driver, mushing thru the sky
Oh wha. a dashing guy am I
Than my fsghter all the lighter
Wfer^ver sne's goxng, she's going these sic.

Hog Driver, ¥/hile she howls and moana
I often wish upon a star
That someday there'll be an F-4C, just waiting for me
And then I'll never be a hag driver again.
- 28 -

Home Ok The Kange
Oh, give ice a home whers buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play,
Where seldom is heard s. discouragmg'woro
Aiid the skies sire dot cloudy »ll day.
CHORUS
fiGiie, home on tne range,
if here the deer s>nd the antelope pl&y,
Where seldom is htard a discouraging word
And the skies are cot cloudy ail day.

How often at Bight when rue heavs-ns are Bright
Witt; the lignt of the filtering siars,
have I stood there amazed.
And a.Tiked as 1 gazed,
If their glory exceeds that, of outs,
CHORDS

Who did foa say it was, Brother?
Who wis it fell by the way'
When v*..iskey ar>d blood mixed together,
Did yon hsar anyone pray?

CHORDS; 1 didn't hear ncaody pray, dear Brother,
I didn't haar nobody pray,
I heard a crash on the iiignway
But I didn't hear nobody pray.

When I heard a crash on the highway
I knew what it was from the stari.
I want to the scene of destruction,
And xhe picture was scamped on my oeart

There was whiskey and blood mixed together
Mixed with glass where they lay
Death played her hand in destruction
But I didn't hear nobody pray.

I wish I could change this sad story
That I am now telling you,
But there's no way I can change it,
For somebody's life is now through.

The roll has been called by the Master
They died in a crash on the way.
I heard the groans of the dying
But I didn't hear nobody pray.
- 29 -

If JTwa Fly
CHORUS: Did you go BOOM today?
Did you go BOOM today?
Two more blew up yesterday
G,E. ain't here to stay.

If yoii fly an Eighty-nine
You must be deaf, dumb and blind
For your life ain't worth a dime,
What's your scheduled blow up lime?

If you fly a ninety-four
You will never holler no more,
For your lot we do not pine
It's better than an Eighty-nine.

CHORUS:

If you fly an Eighty-six
You will really get your kicks
Bounching those sub-sonic boys
Playing with their radar toys.

CHORUS:

If you fly a 101
Tell yourself its' really fun
One day it will pitch up with you
And you will wish you rever flew

CHORUS:

If you fly a 102
Don'I go up unless its blue
For if you feel one drop oX rain
You'll be in pieces not a plane.

CHORUS:

If you fly a 104
The whole world flocks to your door
Range is short, the wings don't last
But golly it sure does fly fast

CHORUS:

If you fly a Thunderchief
You will soon shake like a leaf
Flying it may make you sick
It handles like a great big brick
- 33 -

I Want To Play Piano

I want to play piano in a whorehouse
That is my one desire
Some may be bankers, or ranchers out in Butte
I just want to play in a house of ill repute
IYou may laugh at this my humble advocation
But carnal copulation's here to stay
I don't want fames or riches
I just want to play for those old bitches
I want to play piano in a whorehouse.

If You Fly
CHORUS:

If you fly a Phantom Two
You're flying days will soon be through
It flies at twice the speed of sound
If you can get it off the ground

CHORUS:

If You Fly

If you fly in Eighty-nine
You must be deaf, dumb and blind
For your life ain't worth a dime,
What's your scheduled blow-up time?
CHORUS
Did you go BOOM today?
Did you go BOOM today?
Two more blew up yesterday
Allison ain't here to stay

If you fly a ninety-four
You will never holler more,
For your lot we do not pine
It's better than an Eighty-nine
CHORUS
If you fly an Eighty-six
You will really get your kicks
Bouncing those sub-sonic boys
Playing with their radar toys
CHORUS
If you fly a 1-2-4
You will find it quite a bore,
It flies like an old barn door
And it makes your fanny sore.

CHORUS
Did you go OUCH today?
Did you go OUCH today?
Fourteen hours yesterday
What a way to earn your pay

- 31 -

If You ye Got The Money, l,lS._^gt.Thc_Time

If you've got the money, I've got the time
We'll go honky-tonking and we'll have a time.

We'll make all the night spots
We'll do them up fine,
If you've got the money, honey,
I've got the time.

There ain't no use to tarry,
So 3et(s start out tonight,
We'll spread joy, oh boy, oh boy,
And we'll spread it right,
We;11 have more fun baby,
All the way down the line,
If you've got the money, honey,
I've got the time„

If you've got the money,
I've got the time
We'll go honky-tonksn'
And we'll have a time
Bring along your Cadillac
Leave my ole wreck behind.
If you've got the money, honey
I've got the time.
Yes, we'll go honky-tonkin*
Make every club in town.
We'll go to the park where it's dark
We won't fool around.
But if you run short of money,
I'll run short of time,
'Cause you with no money, honey
I've no more time.

In The Evening By The Moonlight

In the evening by the moonlight,
You can hear those darkies singing,
In the evening by the moonlight,
You can hear those banjos ringing,
How the old folks would enjoy it,
They would sit all night and listen
When they sang in the evening,
By the moonlight
- 32 -

la-Might Refueling
""' ae : Strawberry Roan

Oh come fighter pilots, both young and old
And I'll tell you a story, that'll snake you turn c
A story of tankers and a flight ovt to see
And I hate to tell you what they did to me

Oh we fook off for Brown, oh so early one morn
The weather was balmy, but not reaily Term
We soon left the coast line, and Headed to sea
And for the last time land 1 did see.

Oh we flew on for hours, it seeawd like more
We flew and we flew, till my butt it got sore
And we finally got to that far from land
Whore there were supposed to be tankers at hand.

But yes, you have guessed it, no one was there
Nothing around, bux ocean and air,
We called and we called, but it was in vain
There was nobody out there to refuel icy plane.

Oh we circled and circled, ana hollered for gas,
The pain »'«s beginning to leave my ass,
T'was beginning co pucker, and turn a dull hue
When finally a tanker came into view.

Well bygones were bygones, and -we didn't bitch,
We just latched onto, that son of a bitch
Who ho, called the scanner, "It's under your wing,
If you don't hook up, you likely will ding!"

So I tried it real slow boys, but that didn't work,
I tried again fast, what a hell of a jerk,
The funnel it hit me, one hell of a blow,
As I looked at the cold water down there below.

I looked at that water, so cold and so chilled
And I though to myself, I'll soon be killed
So I'd better hook up, and take on some fuel
Cause that water below looks uncomfortably cool.

So I finally did it, I hit that damn hose
I hit that old funnel, right square on the nose
The engineer said, "Sir, you're taking on fuel".
But the bastard was lying, the dirty old fool.

I called that damn scanner, said, "Turn on the gas,
I can't wait much longer, or I'll bust my ass."
He looked up from his paper, and said with a grin,
"You know there are days, sir. when you just can't win".
- 33 -

That's the end of my storj , I'm sorry to suy,
That old F-105 lies out in the bay,
But I'll have my vengence, you can bet you life,
Canse there's one tanker pilot, that I'm going to knife.

I'm Jnst Driftwood On The River

I'm just driftwood on the river floating down the tide,
I don't care where this old river carries me,
I keep drifting just because my heart is broken inside,
And I'm tired of wishing for what cannot be.
I may meet some bit of driftwood lost the same as I,
Share a handshake and a tender tear or two;
But it's always, "Good luck, pal"
"We've got to say goodbye,"
I must wander on to keep my rendezvous
Though I drift through town and city
I can never stay.
For I find no place to call my home, sweet home.
I don't ask for help or pity,
I just go my way.
All I'm praying for is peace to dream along.
I'm just driftwood on the river and I'm drifting on
Till this weary river meets the deep blue sea
Where the deep blue sea may help me to forget someone.
Yes, the careless one who has forgotten me.
In my heart I don't feel bitter over what has been
I feel sorry for the one I must forget.
And instead of being someone with a world to win,
I'm just driftwood on the river of regret.

Itaznke Ort
(Tune: When You Wore a Tulip)

When you flew a Mustang, and I flew a
Mustang,
In the Itazuke ORT,
Other pilots went to briefing
We stayed in the sack a'sleeping,
Hotter stones you'll never see.
We were hotter than tabasco when Group
pulled each fiasco
We excelled in proficiency,
When you flew a Mustang, and I flew a
Mustang,
In the Itazuke ORT!
- 34 -

It's Hard For Me To Be A Bad Girl

It's hard for me to be a bad girl,
As it is for some to be good,
It's hard for me to be a bad girl,
I really would if I could,
Now I'd like some body to take me,
In the park for a hug and a kiss
(Give me a little kiss,)
But how can I ever be a bad girl
With a Goddamn face like this?

IVe Got Fortunes In Memories

_CHORTJS
I^'ve got fortunes in memories of your walk, your talk, your smile.
I!ve got treasures of heartaches and some old dreams out of style,
I've got bundles of broken vows collected through the years;
I've got fortunes in memories, and they all were bought with tears.

All my life I've been in love -with you, and new your gone;
All I own is memories of you that linger on.
In some ways you left me nothing but the loser's sbare.
In some ways I guess I am a sort of millionaire.

CHORUS

Take the pretty little lies you told me, one toy one;
Take the careless cruel things, the sweet things you have done.
Count them all as lost, and they are more than I can bear;
Count thens all as memories, and I am a millionaire.

Fve Got Six-Pence

I've got six-pence, jolly jolly six pence
I've got six-p«nce, to last me all my life
I've got tuppehce to spend, and tuppence to lend
And tuppence to send home to my wife, poor wife.

No cares have -I go grieve me
No pretty girls to deceive me
I'm happy as a lark believe me
As we go rolling home.

Rolling home, Rolling home
By the light of the" silvery moon
Happy is the day, when the Air Force gets it pay
As we go rolling rolling home.
- 35 -

Jet Pilots In The Skies
(GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY)
An Eighty-Six got airborne one dark and windy day
And as he raised his landing gear you could hear the pilot pray
Keep all those buckets in the wheel and I'll be safe and~sou»d
Don't let that fire go out dear Lord, 'Till I am «n the ground

Yippi K Ya Yippi I Yo-oo-oo
Jet pilots in the sky.

These Flying Friends are here to stay they say they are very mean
And you all know we're famous since 1917
Though we may work on holidays and week-ends just the same
Those Pukin' Pups make history, oh bless that famous name

Yippi I Ya Yippa I Yo-oo-oo
Jet Pilots in the sky.

And as our Eighty-Sixes leave the ground, their tails are spouting flame
The pilots all may go through hell, but they flyin'em just the same
The crew chief 11 work forever, to keep them flyin' high
And watch -with satisfaction as their planes go screaming by

Yippi I Ya Yippi I Yo-oo-oo
Jet Pilots in the sky.

Day and night our pilots fly, to live up to their name
Other pilots come and go, but ours fly on the same
Ihey are going to fly forever in that range up there on high
Tney cuss and cry, live or die - Jet pilots in the skies.

Yippi I Ya Yippi I Yo-oo-oo
Jet Pilots in the sky.

3wi 3ecai.se

3b, just because you think you're so
pistty,
Oh, just because you think you're so hot
Just because you think you've got
something
ffhac nobody else ainJ c got.
Well, just because you spend all my
Money
And, Honey, you call me "Ole Santa Claus"
Baby, I'm telling you
Honey, I'm. through with you
Because, just because.
- 36 -

"John Black, The Red-Nose Colonel"

(Tune; "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

He's John Black the Red Faced Colonel,
He has a supersonic nose,
He got him a Super-Saber
And tried to see how fast it goes,
All of the junior pilots,
Looked at him in open awe.
Then that speedy super sabre
Started a field-grade yaw.
You should have seen him as he did the famous dumbell skip,
He's the only Colonel you will find,
With the funsite branded on his hip.

You should have seen the tech reps,
Drawing slide rules on the run.
Calling up Kindleberger,
"He did it - (But it can't be done)."
Then came a bloody signal
From "Experts" up in TAG on high
"Sorry, Colonel Supersonic,
The F-100 just can't fly"

And when they gave sad word out,
That we&tfaerd cheek was damp.
That slick Mach Buster Moustache
cooked as though it swept the rafflp,

All tee other Wing Command3rs
UseJ to laugh and call hira harass.
They never let our Colonel
Join in say flying games.

Then one sunny springtime noon
Uncle did say;
Colonel with your ramp so clean,
Come and get your machine.
No-® :be other Wing Ccduuande^s
Brief their pilots witft a sign.
"?/hen yow look for Colonel John Black,
Look at Six O'clock - and high"
- 37 -

Jggt A Good OId_Refael

J'w just a good old rebel,
That's exactly what I am.
lor tfcis fair land of freedom,
I do not gwe a damn.
I helped to fight against 'em
J only wish we'd wot,
Brt I don't want no pardon,
For nothin' that I done.

J followed 0]* Marse Robert
Jor four years high about,
Jot wounded in two places
And starved at Point Lookout.
I catcned the rheumatism,
A trooping in the snow,
But I killed a chancin* Yankee
And I wish I'd killed some wore5.

Three hundred thousand Yankees
Lie asleep in southern dust,
We killed three hundred thousand
Before they conquered us.
They died of southern fevr*
The southern she'll and snock
Oh, I -wish we'd killed three million
Instead of what we got

I can't take up my musket
And fight 'em no more
But I ant a'goin* love 'em and
That is something sure.
And I don't want no pardon
For what I was or am,
I won't be reconstructed,
And I don't give a damn.

I hates the constitution,
This great Republic, Too,
I hates the Freedman's Bureau,
The uniform of the blue,
I hates the dirty eagle
With all his brag and fuss,
But the lying* thievin* Yankees,
I hates them wuss and wuss.
- 38 -

Mai Give Me Operations
CHOfiUS
Just give Tie Gnefiions
Way out 01 scire j.onel y itoll
For I a* nr >o tig ^ c e
I just 'ant cj go bf~"ne

Lon t give u° a P 38 vith oroos that counter create,
They 11 loop roll and spin, out they'll soon & &e-r in
Don't give m*- a P-38I

Doa't gi/e me a P-39 with an engine chat's mounted behind
It will tuwMe and roll and dig a deep nole,
Don't give me a P-39!

Don't give me a Curtiss Warhawk, about it the pilots all squawk
It flew like a sparrow but its gear was too narrow
Don't give me a curtiss warhawk!

Don't give me an old Thunderbolt, it gave many a pilot a jolt
It looks like a jug and it flies like a tug
Don't give me an old Thunderbolt!

Don't give me an F-Shoot]ng Star, it'll go bit not very far
It'll rumble and spout but soon will flame o_t
Don't give me an F-Shooting Star!

Don't give me an F-84, their pilots aren't here inj more
They bombed in the crate, but they all pullec1 out late,
Don't give me an F-84!

Don't give me an F-86, -vith wings 3 ike brce^ jtrh sticks
Ifhey'll zoom and they'll hover but as for <.op cc ° <"
Don't give b° an F-86'

Bin t ?ise we an F 89 rhou%h ' ""yie" say- ip r ' vl~t climb,
fV/'re al ' i- t'le states, all jl ec » p
Don'c gxve t an F-8J'

Bip't g1 re rp an 7 31 „ _, ne e es - i o
"It may fly ir wsatho - 1j+ iot>* u 5 o"1 o ,;„-
jot ?i/e <re e a F-d

Jus r give me 'in old ii, tl rirs.js o c i* dope
It's nee1 a^v _t s t-ue j « d » 11 fcaAa
J"st give le ti o,^ 5_.

TT -if C O^jS; vjst g_^e ^e i? < <

^■>}. dsiending iein^cras^ c ~
""or T "hh too 7cuig i,o „_>,
I jusc T»ant co g^ ^ora^
- 39 -

Kentucky Babe
Skeeters am a-humming' on the honey-
Suckle vines; sleep kentucky babe
Sandman am a-calling to this little
coon o'mine; sleep Kentucky Babe„
Silvery moon am shinning in the heavens up above
Bobolink am calling to his little lady love,
You is mighty lucky, Babe of ol,
Keytuck—Close your eyes and sleep,
CHORUS
Fly'away, (bass) fly away—
Fly away Kentucky Babe
Fly away to rest
Fly away, (bass) fly away—
Rest your weary, curly head
On your mammy's breast (hum 8 counts)
Close your eyes in sleep
Knni-Bi And Antung
(Tune: Cigarettes and Whiskey)

Once I was happy and had a good deal
Flow Fox 86's at old Victorville
They asked for a volunteer, said "I'll take you"
Then the next thing I knew I was stuck in Taegu!

CHORUS:
Kuni-ri and Antung, and Wild, Wild Pyong-yang
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Quad fifties and forties and one hundred sorties
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane!

We go down to briefing while it is still night
We lift off the runway before it is light
We form in the gloom and we're off on Our way
We're over the target before it is day.

We're up to the Ualu, There's cons overhead
We think of the sheels who are snug in their beds
We drop our big tips and we break to the right
"Josie" we cry with all of our might!

We steer on 280, we're up in the soup
We swear that the leader is doing a loop
Break out in the clear and set down on K-2
Be careful or Willy will write about you!

If I fly a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to jam it - my --- is too sore
They can ram it and jam it for all that I care
Just give me a wing job - a desk and a chair!
- 40

Keep The Home Fires Burning
Keep the home fires burning,
While dear hearts are yearning,
Though the lads are far away,
They dream of home,
There's a silver lining,
Thru the dark clouds shining.
Turn the dark clouds inside out,
Till the boys come home.

Lament of The Reservirt
(Tune: Cigarettes and Whiskey)

I was a civilian and flew one weekend
No sweat about clanks and no sign of the bends
But I am a retread and older I grow
Now I fly a Mustang, it's old and it's slow.

CHORUS:
Sinulju and Anak, Sinanju and Sinmak
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Quad fifties and forties, and one hundred sorties
They'll drive you crazy
They'll drive you insane!

Oh, once I was happy and I flew a jet
At 35,000 how fat can you get?
They sent me to Nellis for six weeks to train
They.gave me a Mustang, it's no aero-plane

We strafed and we bombed and we shot air to air
Then off to Korea, we're fouled up for fair
We came to K-Four-Six to fly with this Group
My hair's turning gray and my wings have a droop!

I flew my first mission and it was a snap
Just follow the leader, don't look at a map
But now I've got eighty and lead a sad flight
Go out on armed recce and can't sleep at night'.

Went up to MIG Alley, S-2 said no sweat
If I had not looked around, I'd be up there yet
Six MIGS jumped our --- and the leader yelled brea
Sixty-one and 3000, how my knees did shake!

If I live through a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to shove it, my --- is too sore
They can ram it and jam it for all that I care
Just give me a Wing job, a desk and a chair!
- 41 -

Let's If aye A Party
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
So let's have a party,

We're gonna tear down the bar in our town BOO
And then build a new bar RAY
It's oaly gonna be one foot wide BOO
But it'll be a MILE long. RAY
There'll be no bartenders in our bar BOO
We're gonna have barmaids. RAY
Our barmaids will wear long skirts BOO
And no BLOUSES RAY
You can't take our barmaids home BOO
They'll take i'OU home RAY
You can't sleet with our barmaids BOO
They WON'T let you sleep. RAY
Beer's gonna be 50£ a glass BOO
WHISKEY .tree RAY
Only one to a customer BOO
Served in"BUCKETS RAY
We're gonna throw all the beer in the river BOO
Then we'll all go SWIMMING RAY
No girls allowed above the first floor BOO
With their CLOTHES ON RAY
There'll be no loving on the dance floor BOO
And there'll be no DANCING ON THE LOVING FLOOR RAY

Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
SO LET'S HAVE A PARTY! I I I

Let's Say Goodbye Like We Said Hello

Let's say goodbye like we said hello
In a friendly kind of way.
There's something wrong,
Your love is gone
I've no reason now to stay.
We live and love,
We meet and part,
And broken hearts must pay.
Let's say goodbye
Like we said hello,
In a friendly kind of way.

Your love, sweetheart,
I don't forget,
You're always on my mind
You're all the happiness I knew,
So thoughtful, sweet and kind,
For old time's sake
I'm asking you
To think of me someday.
Let's say goodbye
Like we said hello,
In a friendly kind of way.

I wish you happiness, sweetheart,
In everything you do,
May good luck always come your way
And every dream come true.
I'll remember you and the love we knew
The love of yesterday
Let's say goodbye
Like we said hello,
In a friendly kind of way.

If I should meet some other, dear
And learn to love them too,
I hope and pray somehow, sweetheart,
They'll make me think of you.
A tender smile, an old love song,
A heart so light and gay,
Let's say goodbye,
Like we said hello
In a friendly kind of way.
-45 -

Lilly From Piccadilly

Oh, I took a trip to London to look around the town.
When I got to Piccadilly, the sun was going down.
I've never seen suck darkness; the night was black as
pitch,
When, suddenly, in front of me, I thought I saw a witch.

CHORUS:
Oh, it was Lilly, from Piccadilly
You know the one I mean, the one I mean.
I'nl spend each payday, that's may hey, hey, day
With Lilly, my blackout queen, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

Oh, I couldn't see her figure; I couldn't see her face,
But if I ever meet her, I'll know her any place.
I couldn't tell if she were blonde, or a dark brunnette,
But, gosh, 0 gee, did she give me a thrill I won't forget.

CHORUS

She said to me, Oh Yankee, boy, are ya lonesome, are ya
blue?
Just step around the corner, I'll show you what to do.
We went up some dark alley; I said, "I love you Kid."
She said "Okay, but first you'pay," so I gave her twenty
quid.

CHORUS

We went to her apartment, and when we were in bed
She was so very pleasant, I said some day we'd wed.
She even gave me breakfast, she was so very nice.
Why, what she did for twenty quid was cheap at half the
price.

CHORUS

It was a few days later, I began to feel so queer.
And when I went on sick call, the Doc said "It's quite
clear
You've had some love Commando Style. Come, son, now
don't be shy.
You're not to blame, tell me her name. "So I answered
with a sigh.

CHORUS

And when my sons ask me "Please tell me, Daddy, Dear
What did you do to win the war?" I'll answer with a smeer,
"Your Daddy was a hero, his best he always fought
With bravery he gave to commandos his support."
- 46 -

Lili Mariene

Underneath the lamp post by the barracks gate,
Standing all alone, every eight you'll see her wait,
She waits for the Boy who marched away
And though he's gone she hears him say
Oh, promise you'll be true
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene.

Underneath the lamp post by the barracks gate
Standing all alone, every night you'll see her wait
For this is the place a vow was made
And breezes sing her serenade.
Oh, promise you'll be true
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene.
Underneath the lamp post by the barracks gate
Standing all alone, every night you'll see her wait
And there in the lamp light it is said
A halo shines above her head
Oh, promise you'll be true
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene

Underneath the lamp post by the barracks gate
Standing all alone, every night you'll see her wait
And as they go marching to the fray
The soldiers all salute and say
We'll tell him you've been true
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene
Till I return to you
Fare thee well, Lili Marlene.

LongJfongjrraU_

There's a long, long trail a funding,
Into the land of my dreams.
Wheie the nightengale is singing.
And the white moon beams,
There's a long, long night of wait'ng
Until my dreatxs "11 come true,
Till the day when I'll be going
Down that long, long trail with you
- 47 -

Mig 15

(Tune: I T'aaght I Taw a Putty Cat)

1 t'ougnt I taw a MIG 15
A'tweepmg up on me
I did, I did, X tdW am
As big as he coula be!

I am tnax gie<it Dig MIo 15
Ivan i& my name
And if I catch cixat '84
I'll shoot bim down in flame!

Minnie i-The- Mermaui_

Many's the nignt I spent witn Minnie
the Mermaid.
Down at the bottom o± tflss &ea,
Sne lost hex morals, down a*aoang ctie
corals,
&ee, but she was nice Co me;
Many's the mgnt with the pale mo0n
shining, down in her oungalow,
Asnes to asnes, dust to dust,
Two twin teas End only one oi them mussed,
Oh, you can easily see, sne's not my sxster
'Cavse I never show my sister such
a helluva good time.
Oh, you tin easily see sne's no>. my
sveetie,
'Cause wy sweecie's too lefiaed.
She's ju&e a wonderful kid,
Wno never kne'w what she said,
Sne's fust a personal friend oi mine.
m -

Moonshine

(Tune: You are my Sunshine)

You are my moonshine, my only moonshine,
You guide my fighters
When skies are grey
I chase your bogies from nere to Moji
Just to find they have gone the other vvay.

Tae ocher day boys, as I was flying,
I heard Moonshine Controller say:
"I've' got a bogie do^n by Kurume,
Won't you head your jet that-a-way?"

He said he had me in radar contact
And I believed him like a dope.
I fie* to Moji - and still no bogie
He had chased a fly across the scope;

You are my Moonsnine, my only Moonshine
How could you let me down this way?
My chut,e was swingin' - they heard me
singin1
Won1t you take that Moonshine away?

^MgvMg On"

Oh, listen to the patter of their tennis shod feet.
It's tne 9th ROK Division in full retreat.
CHOHJS
They^TFe a movin' on, they'll soon be gone.
Ten thousand wan for Mamma San
Tney're a movin' on.

A tnousand Goqks movin* thru the pass.
Playm* the Burp gun Boogie on tne Captain's ass.
CHORUS
XTTTOe oie Gook with a Southern drawl,
Said, "Come on boys, itiwa you all".
CHOKDS
~TEe~~oTe hound dog was feeiiag' fine
Till he jumped in a barrell of turpentine
_CHOiiUS
He's movm' on he'll soon be gone
He crasned tne gate like a P-38
And he's a movin' on.
The old Head Cat was feeling mean
Then ne caught his tail in a sewing machine
CHORUS
"He-mTssea a stitch wnen he hit the ditch
But he's movin' on.
- 49 -

My Gal Sal

They called her frivolous Sal,
<V peculiar sort of a gal,
With a heart that was mellow,
And all round good fekkiwm was my old pal;
Your sorrows, troubles, and cares,
She was always willing to share,
A wild sort of devil,
But dead on the level, was my Gal Sal.

My God How The Money Rolls In
<My Bonny Ties Over the Ocean)
My Father makes rum in the bathtub
My Mother makes two kinds of gin
My Sister makes love for a living
My God how the money rolls in.

CHORUS
Rolls in, rolls in, My God bow the money rolls in, rolls in.
Rolls in, rolls in, My God bow the money rolls in.

My brother's a poor missionary
He saves little girlies from sin
He'll save you a blonde for five dollars
My God how the money rolls in.
REPEAT CHORUS

My Father died in his bathtub
My Mother she died for her gin.
My sister married my brother
My God, what a mess I am in.
REPEAT CHORUS

My Wild Irish Rose

My wild Irish Rose
The sweetest flower that grows
You may search everywhere
But none can compare
With my wild Irish Rose.
My wild Irish Rose,
The sweetest flower that grows,
And some day for my sake
She may let me take
The bloom from my wild Irish Rose,
- 50 -

Napalm
(Tone: The Good Ship Titanic)

It was up by Sopcri where the Yalu meets the sea
I was out on a recce to see what I could see,
When I spied a farmer man with his pitchfork in his hand
It was sad when my napalm went down.

CHORUS
It was sad, oh, it was sad,
It was sad when my napalm went down (hit the farmer)
There were husband? and wives
(Itty bitty children lost their lives)
It was sad when my napalm went down!

It was up by Kuniri where I won my DFC
I was out on a recce to see what I could see,
When I spied a church below and I let my rockets go
It was sad when those rockets went down.

CHORUS
It was sad, oh, it was sad.
It was sad when those rockets went down (hit the steeple)
All the people ran like hell,
When those rockets hit the bell,
It was sad when those rockets went down.

It was up by Sinanju when I knew that I was through
The 50's and 40's had shot my turbine through.
It was when I hit the silk - oh, my God, I strained my milk!
It was sad when that pilot went down.

CHORUS
It was sad, oh, it was sad,
It was sad when that pilot went down (hit the bottom)
There were husbands and wives
(Itty bitty children lost their lives)
It was sad when that pilot went down.
- 51 -

Oh, La La

Oh, come hear my story
I'll tell it to you
My heart is all broken
I'm sad and I'm blue.
I just lost my darling,
Her name was La La,
As pretty as a picture,
And, oh, twice as fair.

CHORUS

Hi, La La, Oh, La La,
My true La La,
Hi, La La, Oh, La La.
My true La La.

A grave on the hillside
All covered with snow
A heart broken lover
With head bending low.
With tears in his eyes
He placed a red rose
On the grave of his darling
Op there in the snow.

CHORUS

Oh, God up in Heaven
Please tell her for me
My hopes are all shattered
Oh, say can't you see
Just tell her I'm waiting
To meet her up there
I'll look at her picture
And send her a prayer.

CHORUS

Oh Little Town Of Ho-Chi-Mip

Oh little town of He-Chi-Min
How safe you think you lie
Beneath your ring.of SA-2s
You think the "Fives" won't fly
Yet through the cloud deck raineth
A deadly trail of bombs,
Too late for fear, the end is near.
How about that TBC???
- 52 -

OJdJSjnokey^
Flying over old Cam Ranh
Enroute to the North,
My hands got so shakey
From the tt.ough.ts that came forth.

The sup was bright shining
The sky it was clear,
But my heart it did falter
I was frozen wjth fear.

As we crossed the border
I thought I would dieJ
ait my fearless commander
Oh how well he did fly.

With this inspiration,
What more could I do?
I screwed up my courage
And pressed on anew.

We started our bomb run
The sights I did set.
We rippled our bombs off,
Then wiped off the sweat.

We turned toward the tonkin
With the engines full bore,
She really was smokin'
Like a two dollar whore.

When once past the coastline,
With a sigh of relief,
We'd gotten the job done
Just as it had been briefed.

This mission accomplished
So important to me
They're sure to award us
Our first DFC„

I'm an outstanding airman
This story is true,
For I'm a co-pilot
On a B-52!

On Moonlight Bay

We were sailing along on moonlight bay
You could here the darkies singing,
They sBemed to say,
You have stolen my heart,
Now don't go away,
As they sang love's sweet song,
On Moonlight Bay.

- 53 -

On Top Of Old Fuji

(Tune: On Top of Old Smokey2

On top of old Fuji, all covered with snow
I lost my jet pilot from flying so low
He put on an air show, he did it for me
At altitude zero he clobbered a tree
With throttle wide open he made his last pass
On top of old Fuji he busted his---•----

On Top Of The Pop Up

Tune: On Top of Old Smdkey

On top of the pop up
And flat on my back,
I lost my poor wingman
In a big hail of flak.

Guard channel was silent
The sites were all dead,
Until we rolled in
And looked up ahead

The sky filled with fireballs,
The missiles flashed by
Sweet Mother of Jesus,
We're all going to die.

Number two called "I'm hit
I'm going to bust"
Not one Goddamned Elint
A poor jock can trust.

So come ye young pilots
And listen to Dad,
Forget about jinking
And your ass has been had,

They'll hit you and burn you,
Their flak reaches for,
It's a long walk to Takhli,
And a beer at the bar.
- 54 -

Ob Top Of Old Pyongyang

(Tune: On Top of Old Smokey)

On top of old Pyongyang
All covered with flak
I lost my poor wing man
He'll never get back.

For flying is a pleasure
And dying a grief,
And a quick-triggered Commie
Is worse than a thief.

For a thief will just rob you
And take all you save
But a quick-triggered Commie
Will send you to the grave.

The grave will decay you
And turn you to dust
Not a Commie in a thousand
Can an old Mustang trust.

Now when the bad weather
Keeps the ships down
All day we can hear this
This horrible sound:

"Attention all pilots
Now listen to this
There'll be a short meeting
That you dare not miss."

They'll give us some lectures
Then give us some more,
But we have all heard cheia
Twenty-five times or more.

few listen von trainees
.'ou can3 c fight i&3 Grot g
'.Wiacave^ thsy teil jov
Is superfluous poop

No-' tfas jBoral 4*1 this story
Is easy to sss
Don't go to SiiEEJB
Or old Ift-Eir-i
—5 5 —

On Top Of Old Smokey

On top of old Smokey,
All covered with snow,
I lost my true lov"er,
Come a*courtin! too slow

A-courtin's a pleasure
4n' flirtia's a grief,
A false-hearted lover,
Is worse than a thief,

For a thief he will rob you,
And take what you have,
But a false-hearted lover,
Will send you to the grave.

She'll hug you and kiss you
And tell you more lies,
Than cross ties on the railroad
Or stars on the sky.

On top of old Smokey,
All covered with snow,
I lost my true lover,
Come a-courtin' ..... too slow.

-Once They Were Happy

(Tune: Man on the Flying Trapeze)

Once they were happy, completely at ease,
They flew their F-80!s like a swingin' trapeze
They looped 'em, they rolled 'em, they bounced DC-3's
But, alas, boys, their wings have been clipped!

One day they approached Itazuke
Jet leader called echelon right
Mustangs at nine o'clock level,
Let's see if 8th Fighter will fight:

The F-80's broke left and the Mustangs broke right
I think they see us, says Jet Four in fright
They're all pullin' streamers, says Jet Number Three
Let's go home, this is no place to be:

But the Mustangs has sighted the Bogies,
They pulled through the top of a loop,
They dove on the trembling F-80's
My God, they have scrambled the Goooooop!

The Jets headed home at a hundred percent,
In fact, Number Four had the throttle stop bend
Back to Misawa, to Misawa they went
Never to bounce any more!
- 56 -

One Hundred Missions

Tune: When Johnny Comes ""Marching Home

One hundred missions we have flown, Aha, Aha.
One hundred missions we have flow, Aha, Aha.
One hundred missions we have flown,
One hundred bridges we have blown,
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the word.

From one to one hundred we did count, Aha, Aha
From one to one hundred we did count, Aha, Aha
From one to one hundred we did count,
But now one half or more don't count,
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the word.

They said they'd give us combat pay, Aha, Aha
They said they'd give us combat pay, Aha, Aha
They said they'd give us combat pay,
And then the bastards took it away.
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the w»rd.

We're Iron Hands from old Takhli, Aha, Aha
We're Iron Hands from old Takhli, Aha, Aha
We're Iron Hands from old Takhli,
Our hearts beat fast, we think we'll pee,
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the word.

The Weasels fly around alone, Aha, Aha
The Weasels fly around alone, Aha, Aha
The Weasels fly around alone,
With half a flight they head for home,
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the word.

The force rolls in amidst the flak, Aha, Aha
The force rolls in amidst the flak, Aha, Aha
The force rolls in amidst the flak,
One half or more won't make it back,
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the word.

Not many will return alive, Aha, Aha
Not many will return Alive, Aha, Aha
Not many will return aliver,
Who flew the bloody 105,
But you can't return till Lyndon gives the word.
- 57 -

Twas a cold winter evening, the guests were all leaving,
O'Rjley was closing trie bar;
When he turned and he said to the lady in red:
"Get out, you can't stay where you are".

Now she shed a big tear in the bucket of beer
As she though of the cold night ahead;
f/hen a gentleman dapper stepped out of the phone booth
And these are the words that he said:

"Her mother never told her
The things a young girl should know,
About the ways of Air Force men
And how they come and go.
Life has taken her beauty,
And sin has left its sad scar.
So remember your mothers and s'isters, boys,
And let her sleep under the bar.

Our Leaders
(Tu.ie: Manana)

At Phillips Range in Kansas
The jocks all had the kaa ;k
3ut inw that we're in combat
v7e got Colonels on our back
And every time we say "Shit Hot"
or whistle in the bar
We have to answer to somebody
Looking for a star.

(CHORDS)
Our leaders, Our leaders,
Our leaders is what they alwaps say,
But it's bullshit, it's bullshit,
Ic's oulshit they feed us every day.

Tiday we had a hot one
And the jocks were scared ss Hell.
They ran to aieet us v/it'i a beer
and tell us we were swell,
But Recce took the 3„D.Ar,
inr" said we missed a be xr,
Nov/ we'll catch all kinds of nel 3
from the Wheels at Second Air
(CHORDS)
- 58 -

They send us out in bunches
To bomb a bridge and die
These tactics are for bombers
That our leaders used to fly.
The bastards don't trust our Colonel up
in Wing, and so I guess,
We have to leave the thinking to
The Wheels in J.C.S.;

(CHORUS)

The J,C.S0 are generals
And they're nox always right,
Somtimes they have to think it over
Well into the night.
When they have a question
Or something they can't hack,
They have to leave the judgment to
That money saving Mac!

(CHORUS)
Now Mac's job is in danger
For he's on salary too.
To be the final say so
Is something he can't do
Before we fly the mission
And everychj.ng O.K.
He has to get permission form
Flight Leader L.B.J!1

Over There

Over there, over there,
Send the word, sent the word over there,
That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming,
The drums rum-drumming everywhere.
So prepare, say a prayer,
Send the word, send the word, to beware,
We'll be over, we're coming over,
And we won't be back 'till it's over,
Over there.

Pack Up Your Troubles

Pack up your troubles in your old kit
bag,
And smile, smile, smile,
While you've a lucifer to light
your fag,
Smile, boys, that's the style.
What the use of worrying,
It never was worth while,
So----pack up your troubles in your old
kit bag,
And smile, smile, smile,
- 59 -

Parties, Banquets And Balis
(Tune: Take m- out to the Ball Game)

Parties, banquets, and balls, boys
Parties, banquets and balls
As president Hoover once said before,
The only way we can stay out of war
Is to have more parties and banquets
Parties, banouets and balls
For it's parties and banquets and Banquets and parties and
BALLS, BALLS, BALLS.

Philadelphia Lawyer

Way out in Reno, Nevada
Where romance blooms and fades,
A great Philadelphia lawyer
Was in love with a Hollywood maid.

Come love and w# will wander
Outwhere the lights are bright
I'll win you a divorce from you husband
And we can get married tonight.

Now Bill was a gun-toting cowboy
Ten notches were carvea on his gun
And all the boys around Reno
Left Wild Bill's maiden alone.

One night when he was returning
from riding the range in the cold.
He dreamed of his Hollywood Sweetheart
Her iflve was lasting as gold.

As he drew near her window
A shadow he saw on the shade.
rTwas the great Philadelphia lawyer
Making love to his Hollywood maid.

The night was as scill as the desert
The moon was bright overhead,
Bill listened awhile to the lawyer
He could hear every word that he said.

"Your hands are so pretty and lovely,
Your form so rare and divine,
Come go with me to the city,
And leave this wild cowboy behind.

Now back in old Pennsylvania
Among the beautiful pines,
There's one less Philadelphia lawyer
In old Philadelphia tonight.
- 60 -

Paddy Mnrphy
The night that Paddy Murphy died
I never shall forget
The whole bloomed town got stinking drunk
And some arn't sober yet.

The only thing they did that night
That filled my heart with fear
They took the ice right off the corpse
And put it on the beer.

That's how they showed him their sorrow and their pride
That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy
Respect for Paddy Murphy on the night that Paddy died.

Pilot's Ftea

(Tune: Take me Out to the Ballgame)
Leap me up to the hassle,
Blast me off with the crowd.
Give me some petrol, a century true;
Oil, and oxygen, parachute, too.

And please remember ""he name, Sir.
Early flight: It will do.
If it's 2, 4, or element lead,
I'm the man for you.

Around and around the SAM site
The fissile chased the Weasel,
The Weasel got pissed, the SAM got zapped,
Pop goes the weasel.

Willey Peter showed uswJiere
to roll in to displease'em.
One more pass with HEI,
Pop goes the Weasel.

Lady fingers did their job,
Did more than just tease8em,
The Russian Techs got all pissed off
Pop goes the Weasel.

We look around for SAM sites,
We grab their balls and squeeze'em
They show their ass, we shoot it off,
Pop goes the Weasel.
- 61 -

|grisone£^_Songi

Oh, I wish I had someone to love me,
Someone to call me their own;
Oh, I wish I had someone to live with,
'Cause I'm tired of living along.

So please meet me tonight in the
moonlight,
Oh, please meet me tonight all alone,
For I have a sad story to tell you,
It's a story that's never been known.

I'll be carried to that new jail to-
morrow,
Leaving my poor darling alone;
With the cold prison walls all around
me,
And my head on a pillow of stone.

Oh, if I had the wings of an angel,
Over these prison walls I would fly,
And I'd fly to the arms of my poor
darling,
And there I'd be willing to die.

Ragged But Right

I just called up to tell you, that I'm ragged but right,
I'm a thief and a gambling woman, drunk every night.
I eat a porterhouse steak three times a day for my board,
That's more than any self-respecting girl can afford;
I've got a big handsome man to play around at my feet,
A big electric fan to keep me cool in the heat;
For I'm a rambling woman, a gambling woman, and Lord, am I tight,
I just called up to tell you that I'm ragged but right.

Oh, we may be brown skinned lassies, boys, but what do we care,
We've got those well built chassies and that do or die air;
We've got the hips that sank the ships of England, Spain and Peru,
And if you're like Napoleon, it's your Waterloo,
We'll take an hour's intermission in your Ford V-8
Like to make it longer but I've got a late date;
Our motto's "Gone with the wind", so come on breeze it tonight.
I just called up to tell you that I'm ragged but right.
- 62

Rail Cutter
(Tune: Cold, Cold Heart)

I tried so hard, Wild Bill, to cut
That streak of railroad track
But I'm afraid that all I did
Was dodge that flying flak
I know that one is all it takes
To blow my --- apart
Why can't I get just one rail cut
And melt your cold, cold heart?

Reecy To Berlin

It's a long, nard road on a reccy to Berlin,
And the flak was bursting high,
And the P-47's and the P-51's,
They were guarding us high in the sky.

We were half way between Lake Dummer and Hamburg
When all hell broke loose in the blue,
"Cause the Jerry's had spotted us from five o'clock under
And they came up to see what they could do.

Now the first pass was made on the 462nd
Colonel Showers was in the lead.
Oh, he mopped and he mopped and he mopped and he mopped,
'Cause he thought he would never get home.

So the Colonel he called to his brave Navigator,
Said, "Give me a heading home",
But the navigator with his hand on the ripcord
Said, "Hey, boy, you're boing oome alone".

So the Colonel he called to his brave Bombardier,
Said, "Give me a heading home",
But the Bombardier had already parted,
There was silence on the ship's interphone.

So at twenty-two thousand he chewed on his candy,
And he mopped, mopped, mopped, mopped, mopped.
Oh, he mopped and mopped and he mopped and he mopped,
'Cause he thought he would never get home.

So, with four engines feathered he glided into safety
At the runway of his home base,
And it's with great pride that he tells this story
with a mop-eatin' grin on his face.....mop, mop!
- 63 -

Red Kfasgjfrt-p-^

(Tune: Shrimp Boats)

Oh, the Red Nose Migs are comin'
Not a Sabre in sight
Oh, the Red Nose Migs are comin'
And they want to fight.
Let's hurry, hurry home
Oh, won't you hurry, hurry home?
Oh, the Red Nose Migs are comin'
Not a Sabre in sight!

Red River Valley

From- this valley they say you are going,
We will miss your bright eyes and bright
smile,
For they say you axe taking the sunshine,
That has brightened lay life for a while.

CHORUS:
Come and sit by my side, little darling,
Do not hasten to bid me adieu,
But remember the Red River Valley,
And the cowboy who loved you .so true.

Do you think of this valley you're leaving,
Of you're parents so kind and so true,
Do you think of the kind hearts you are
breaking.,
And the cowboy who loves you ,so true.
. . . . . CHORDS
- 64 -

Republic's Ultra Hog

Tune: Wabash Cannonball

Listen to the jingle the gruntin' and the wheeze,
As she rolls along the runway by the MC-3 ana the trsis.
Hear the mighty roarin' engine as you leap off ia the fog
You're flying through the jungle in Republic's Ultra Hog,'

We came up from old Korat one steamy summer day,
As we pitched up on the target you could hear all the
gunners say,
"She's big and fat and ugly, she's really quite a dog,
She's known around the country as Republic's Ultra Hog."

Here's to MacNasiara, his name will always smell,
He'll always be remembered down in Fighter Pilots Hell,
He frags all the targetp and sends us out to die,
He sends us into combat in Republic's 105

Listen to the jingle the gruntin' and the wheeze,
As she rolls along the runway by the BAC-9 and the frees,
Hear the mighty roarin' engine as you leap off in tl«e fog,
You're flying through the jungle in Republic's Ultra Hog!!;

Roger Young

Oh, they've got no use for glory i-n
the Infantry,
Nor no use or time for praises loudly
sung.
But in every soldier's heart in the
Infantry,
Shines the name, shines the name of
Roger Young.

CHORUS

Sines the name, Roger Young,
Fought and died with the men he
marched among,
To the everlasting glory of the
Infantry,
Lives the story of Private Roger Young.

On the island of New Georgia in the
Solomons,'
Lies, a simple wooden cross where he
fell,
Underneath the island of corals in
the Solomons,
Sleeps a man, sleeps a man remembered
well.

..... .CHORUS

- 65 -

Roll Your Leg Over

If all little girls were like fish in the ocean
And if I were a whale I'd teach them the motion.
CHORUS
"Roll your leg over - oh roll your leg over
Roll your leg over the man in the moon.

If all little girls were like Gypsy Rose Lee
And I were her G-String oh boy what I'd see (CHORUS)

If all little girls were like little white flowers
And I were a bee I'd buzz 'em for hours (CHORUS)

If all little girls were like sheep in the pasture
And I were a ram, I'd make 'em run faster. (CHORUS)

If all little girls were like nurses who would
And I were a doctor, I would if I could (CHORUS)

If all little girls were fust little vixins
And I were a fox, oh, boy would I fix *em (CHORUS)

If all little girls were like little white chickens
And I were a rooster, I'd buzz 'em all over. (CHORUS)

If all little girls were like bells in a tower
And I were a clapper, I'd bang 'em for hours. (CHORUS

Rolling Down The Runway

Rolling down the runway at ninety-eight percent,
The Colonel cut his throttle,
My God, I was Hell bent.
I pulled off to the left,
And bounced into the boon docks,
Glory, Glory Halleluja, what a bunch of "Rocks".

CHORUS
Oh, Halleluja, Oh, Halleluja.
Throw a nickel on the grass, save a fighter pilot's life.
Oh, Halleluja, Oh, Halleluja,
Throw a nickel on the grass and you'll be saved.

I threw my throttle forward
Up to a hundred and one,
I bounced off the runway, it shore as hell wern't fun.
I pulled back on the stick and ricocheted some more.
Glory, Glory, what a "goat" even at fvll bore.

I then pulled up my gear,
The cockpit filled with smoke,
My wingman passed me by,
My God, it was no joke,
He then looked me all over,
- 66 -

And saw a great long tear.
Glory, Glory Halleluja, how did that set the.ro.

1 then came in for landing
just after it started to rain,
And there sat Flying Safety #ith a gosh-dai a ball and „h,3io
They sent me before the board,
And gave me the works,
Glory, Glory Halleluja, what a iiunch of jerks.

Safe Hand. Man
(Tune: Wreck ox the Old '9?)
They gave him his orders at old Itazuke
Saying: ''Bill, you're way behind time,
Take this safe hand mail in your war-weary eighty
And put 'er in Nagoya on time."

Bill turned and he said to his black, greasy crew chief
"Is my spam can ready to roll"?
Just head 'er down the runway and open up the throttle
And I'll call Camel Control.

There was one dark cloud between Bofu and Nagoya
But Bill was a guage pilot bold
It was in this cloud that he spun all his gyros
And his eighty did three snap rolls.

He came roarin' down the bottom doin* s million miles an hour
When the tip tanks came off with a scream.
They found him in the wreck with his hand on the throttle
Still fl\mg the Tokyo beam!

Fare thee %ell oh, fare thee well
Old Bill broke his eighty all to hell.
There'll be no more suki-yaki at good old Itazuke
Fare thee -well, oh, fare thee well!

Sage Of The Old 36th

They gave him his orders,at Group Operations
Saying, "Casey you're way behind time,"
It's now Kuneri but it's old Namsidong
You must cut them or bust your ass trying.
They climbed in their 80's at quarter past eleven
With the crew chief on the wing
The pilot said "plug in the power,
And listen to this 80 pilot sing"
They were rolling down the runway at 90 miles an hour
And the nose wheels broke the ground,
They were in the air and roaring o'er the mountains
Headed up to that flak infested town.
They passed over jaeju and skirted town.
They passed over Haeju and skirted Chinampo
And then headed up the coast,
- 67 -

When Dei+i'sJa Clisrlie 13 ik.eC into his radar
s,pd t>e mmed jrtt as white as a gio*t
FOi lis? "screen was bltrrsd as the "trains" leit the station
And ihsy cli*bsi t-a angels 29
We ep1" taeti' antt^'ls headed for us
*n«t I witao xfaat High* suit of sine
He started on his boa»D rui a* 20C Pxle^ an hour
And he s*»w nl*s wiflgasan shoot past
He flew tfc-U fiis bomb blast at altitude aero
And he d'<-d -7itn a ra.ll tie up his ass,

Oil, I Iir><sd up ifii.rt the runway and heeded for the ditch
r looked dowr> at my prep wj God, it's in high pitch
I pulled back op tha stick sad rose into the a -_r
Glory, JUory Eallel^a hov did I get there'

CHORu5?- Oh Halleluja, Oh Kalieluja
Th^os a nickel oa the grass
Save a fights* pilot's life
Ci HaxiPiujs. Oh Tallelu^a
Throw a nickel
and you 1] be sa-vedi

I s>tt*"+ed aA to bi^z, I thought tliat I was clear
*cd wr l i cl„ppe«? the flagpole, I knew the j»ad was n-a-
£ net ,hp f tying board, and they gave m^ the /ork=
Clor/ Cloey Hall<f»1'uja «iat a bureh <>i isks!
...... CHORUS

Oh, J £lew the traffic pattern, to aie it looked all right,
And wher> I nsaJe my lust turn, ray God I racked it tight
\nd the'i the ship did anudder, the enjime coughed and wheezed,
Mayday, M&yoay, Colonel , Spin instructions please5
..... CHORUS ~~ *™~~

Now I'm m the gutter with pretzels in my beer,
With pretzels in my whiskers, I knew the end was near.
Then came this glorious Air Force to save me from the worst
Everybody bust a butt and sing the second verse'
- 68 -

Save A Fighter Pilot's Life (H)
It was midnight In Korea, all the pilots were in bed
When up stepped Colonel ^__^____, and this is what he said-
1 hate this ^______ place'.
Mustangs, geiitle" pilots, Mustangs one and all
Mustangs, gentle pilots - and the pilots shouted B--s!
Then up stepped a young Lieutenant with a voice as harsh as brass
You can take thos G-- D-- Mustangs Jack and shove 'em up your 4~„

CHORUS: Oh, Halleluja, Oh halleluja
Throw a nickel on the grass
Sswe a fighter pilot's life
Oh Halleluja, oh halleluja
Throw a nickel on the grass
And you'll all be saved.

Cruising down the Yalu doing three-twenty per
I called to my Flight Leader, "Oh won't you save me sir"
Got two big holes in my wing, my tanks ain't got no gs?s
Ksyday - Mayday - Mayday - got six MIG's on my A--!

I .flaw my traffic patter, to me it looked all right,
My air speed read 130, My God, I racked it tight
I turned onto the final, my engine gave a wheeze
Mayday - jvlayday - Mayday Leader: Spin instructions please!

Fouled up my crosswind landing, nay left wing hit the ground
Came a call from tower: "Pull up and go around".
Racked that Mustang in the air a dozen feet or more
I'm on my back, it's worse than flak, why did I use full bore?

Split S onto my bomb run I got too G— D-— low
I pressed the button, let both my babies go
I sucked the sTTcTsTTSack in my gut - I hit a high-speed stall
Now I won't see my mother when the work's all done this fall!

They sent my up to Pyongyang, the brief said "Skoshe ack ack"
But by the time I got there my wings were holed by flak
My aircraft went into a spin, it would no longer fly
Mayday - Mayday - Leader: I am too young to die!

I bailed out from that Mustang, my landing was top line
With my E and E equipment I made for our front line
But when 1 opened up my ration tin to see what was in it
The G-- D-- Quartermaster had filled the tin with
Now in this Commie prison camp I am obliged to sit
For one cannot go very far on a ration tin of ---.
If I am ever free again, I will no longer fly
But I'll nave Quartermaster bollix for breakfast till I die.

Cruisin' down the Yalu, doing 650 per
Gave a call to _____ __
Oh, won't you save me" sir"? ~
- 69 -

Got two big flak holes in my wings
My tank ain't got no gas
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday - got six MIG's on my _____.'

CHORUS: Oh Halleluja, Oh Halleluja
Throw a nickel on the grass
Save a fighter pilot's life
Oh Halleluja, Oh Halleluja
Throw a nickel on the grass
And you'll be saved.

Made my pattern, to me it looked all right
My airspeed read 130
My God, I racked it tight
The airframe gave a shudder
The engine gave a wheeze
Mayday, Mayday, Leader - Spin instructions please!
......CHORUS

Fouled up my crosswind landing, my left wing touched the ground
Got a call from Mobile
Pull up and go around!
I racked that _________ in the air
A dozen feet or more
The B_________ snapped, I'm on my back
Oh, save me,
.CHORUS"
Strafin' on the panel
I made my pass to low
Came a call from tower
"One more and home you go"!
I pulled that ___________ in the blue
She hit a high-speed stall
Now I won't be back this winter
When the work's all done this fall!

Seeing Nellie Home

In the sky a bright star glittered,
On the bank a pale moon shone,
And 'twas from Aunt Dinah's quilting
party
I was seeing Nellie home.
CHORUS
I was seeing Nellie home,
I was seeing Nellie Home,
'twas from Aunt Dinah's quilting
party, I was seeing Nellie home.

On my arm a soft hand rested
Rested light as ocean foam, And
'twas from Aunt Dinah's quilting party,
I was seeing Nellie Home. CHORUS
-70 -

Shanty Town
(Johnny Long's version)

There's a shanty in the town
On a little plot of ground,
Where the green grass grows
All around, all around.
Roof so torn, so badly worn.
It touches to the ground.
It's just a tumbled down shack
And it's built way back
About 25 feet from the railroad track.
It lingers on my mind
Most all of the time,
Keeps calling me back
To my little grass shack.
I'd be just as sassy as Haille Selassie
If I were a king,
Wouldn't mean a thing
Roof so tall
Read the writing' on the wall
But it doesn't mean a thing
Not a doggone thing,
For there's a queen waiting' there
In a rockin' chair
Blowing' her top on 'Gaitor's beer
Looking' all around
And trucking' on down
Yes, I gotta get back to my shanty town.

She's More To Be Pitied

She's more to be pitied than censored.
She's more to be helped than despised.
She's only a lassie who ventured
Down live's stormy path ill-advised.
Do not scorn her with words fierce and
bitter,
Do not laugh at her shame and downfall
For a moment just stop and consider,
A Flyboy was the cause of it all.

Shine On Harvest Moon

Shine on, shine on, Harvest Moon
Up in the sky.
I ain't had no loving since
January, February, June, or July.
Snow time ain't no time to stay
Outside and spoon,
So shine on, shine on, Harvest Moon
- 71 -

So Long
I've sung this song, and I'll sing it again
Of the things that I've done and the places I've been.
Of some of the things that have bothered my mind
And a lot of good wingman that I've left behind.

_CHORUS
SlNGTNG SO LONG, ITS BEEN GOOD TO KNOW YOU
SO LONG, IT'S BEEN GOOD TO KNOW YOU, SO LONG IT'S BEEN GOOD TO
KNOW YOU
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN HOME
SO I'VE GOTTA BE DRIFTING ALONG.

This story begins when we gathered to brief
We listened to the words of our red headed chief.
He said, "Listen men and I'll tell you the tricks
About what is the way with the 86--------------CHORUS

We turned on the runway and started to roll
I gave her the throttle and poured on the coal,
The JATO was heavy, my God it was thick
So I went on the gauges and yanked on the s\tick—--—--CHORUS

We flew up to Sunan and dodged all the flak
I called to my leader, "Oh please take me back",
But instead of turning, he muttered these words-------CHORUS

We then went to Sukchon and glide-bombed the rails
We broke to the right with flak on our tails,
We rendezvoused high with the MIGS in the sun
And I thought to myself we should giver the gun------CHORUS

When we circled to join up it was a great race
The MIGS would soon come up and give us a chase,
Number four man's five hundreds were still tightly hung
If we didn't leave soon we would surely be done------CHORUS

I called my leader, "I'm low on fuel,
If you turn around quick I can get back to Seoul".
Just then he shouted "There's MIGS on the lead
So we'll break to the left and get up some speed------CHORUS

Well I broke to the left and felt a great jar
A whistling golf ball had cut my main spar,
My canopy jammed and my engine flamed out
And over the RT I started to shout-------

BUDDIES SO LONG, IT'S BEEN GOOD TO KNOW YOU
SO LONG, IT'S BEEN GOOD TO KNOW YOU
SO LONG, IT'S BEEN GOOD TO KNOW YOU, BUT IT'S NOT MUCH THAT I CAN SAY
FOR IT LOOKS LIKE I'VE AUGERED TODAY.
- 72 -

Show Me The Way To Go Home,

Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
And it went right to my head
Whereever I may roam
Over land or sea or team
You can always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home.

Song ot The Wolf Pack
Tune: Ghost Riders in the Sky

Oh pilots of the Wol± ?ak
Go to the briefing room
The mission is a good one
To the MIGS it will mean doom
We're going up to Hanoi
To Kep and jPhuc Yen too
To write our bloody record
In the annals of the blue

We take off in our Phantoms
To play our deadly cards
The engines make our thunder
And our eyes are steely hard
We're on the way to battle
The forces of the foe
We're certain to destroy them
We'll seek them high and low.

We battle today, and make our kills
The Wolf Pack in the sky

We cycle through the tanker
The tension starts to rise
We go to meet our destiny
Awaiting in the skies
We tune and arm our missiles
As we streak across the black
Our boss is in the forefront
Leading the Wolf Pack

We're showing on their radar
Their hearts are full of hate
They rise to meet the challenge
To meet their bloody fate
They're headed for disaster
As any fool can tell
They dare to face the Wolf Pack
We'll shoot them clear to hell

We battle today, and make our kills
The Wolf Pack in the Sky

- 73 -

Wolf Pack lead says "Contact"
They're MIGS, a flight of two
I'm too close for the sparrow
The sidewinder will do
I'll roll into the six o'clock
Behind the trailing MIG
And let him have a missile
Just like a fiery GIG

Oh otner flights engaged more MIGS
Hot action filled the air
The Wolf Pack's lust was sated
Before heading for their lair
The enemy won't soon forget
The awesome deadly toll
As the 8th Wing troops return to base
And make their, victory rolls

We battle today and make our kills
The Wolf Pak in che sky.

Stand To Your Glasses

A poor aviator lay a-dying
At the end of a bright summers day
And his comrades were gathered around him
To carry his fragments away.

Oh, his bird was piled up on his wishbone,
And his engine was wrapped around his' head
And he wore a spark plug on each elbow
'Twas plain he would shortly be dead.

Oh, he spat out a valve and a gasket
As he stirred in the sump where he lay,
And to his sorrowing comrades
These brave parting words he did say:

I'll be riding a cloud in the morning
With no Merlin before me to course,
So come along, and get busy
Another lad now wants the hearse!

Take the manifold out of my larynx,
And the cylinders out of my brain,
Take the piston rods out of my kidneys,
And assemble the engine again.

With rusted fifties and rockets,
With pilots as old as they seem,
We fly these worn out Mustangs
Against the MIG fifteen.

Forgotten by the land that bore us,
Betrayed by the ones we held dear,

- 74 -

The good have all gone before us
And only the dull are still here.

So stand to your glasses steady,
This world is a world full of lies,
Here's a toast to those dead already,
And here's to the next man to die.

Strafing in a mountain pass
Couldn't make the turn
Twelve tons of thunderjet
Watch that Bastard Burn

We've fought the M/G's atvKunure, we fought at Sinajee
They nailed us down at Kyomipo, and we lout quite a tew.
We flew these birds from old K-2, six thousand feet.tftey ss.-y
Don't ask a 49'er boys, the Bastards are all dead.

Sweetgr Than The Flowers

Oh) just as long as I can remember,
She'll remain the rose of my heart.
Mom took sick along in December,
■February brought us broken hearts.

The reason we've not called a family reunion,
We knew^she wouldn't be there.
But after we thought it all over, Mama,
We knew that your spirit was there.

CHORDS
"OTT, no, I can't forget the hour.
You're the onliest one Mom and sweeter than the flowers.
Oh, no, there's no need to bother,
to speak of you now would only hurt father.

They all gathered 'round, I stared at their faces.
Their heads were all bowed mighty low.
This was one" time that we all had to face it,
But we felt so bad you know.

It looked so good to see us together,
But I had to look after Dad.
Oh, Dear Mama, When I passed by your coffin,
I didn't want to remember you dead.

CHORUS
Oh, no, Mama, we'll never forget you,
and someday, we'll meet you up there.
- 75 -

Sweetheart Of Sigma Chi

The girl of my dreams is the sweetest girl,
of all the girls I know;
Each sweet coed, like a rainbow thread,
Fades in the after-glow.
For the blue of her eyes,
And the gold of her hair
Are a blend of the western skies.
How the moonlight oeams on the girl caf
my dreams,
She's the sweetest of Sigma Chi.

-SwingJiow_Swe^t__Chariot

I looked over Jordon,
And what did I see there,
Coming for to carry me home?
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.

CHORUS
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coining for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

If you get there before I do
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends I'm coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
...... .CHORUS

TAG Headquarters
(Tune: Pepsi-Cola)

TAG Headquarters is the spot
Twenty-eight colonels, that a lot
Lots of brass with nothing to do
TAG Headquarters is the place for you!
Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken....

Tell Me Why

Tell mj why the stars do snine,
Tell me why the ivy twines,
Tell me why the skies are blue,
And I will tell you just why
I love you.

Because God made the stars to shine,
Because God made the Ivy twine
Because God made the skies so blue,
Because God made you, that's why I love you.
- 76 -

Tell Me Your Dream

You had a dream, dear,
I had jne too,
Mine was the best dream
Because it was of you;
Come sweetheart, tell me
Now is the time,
You tell me your dream
And I'll tell you mine.

Tennessee Waltz

I was waltzing with my darling
To the Tennessee Waltz
When an old friend I happened to meet.
Introduced him to my loved one
And wile they were waltzing
My friend stole my sweetheart from me.

I remember the night
And the Tennessee Waltz.
Now I know just horn much I have lost.
Yes, I lost my little darling
The "night they were playing
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.

That Old Gang Of Mine

Not a soul down on the corner
That's a pretty certain sign,
Those wedding bells are breaking up
That old gang of mine.

There goes Jack, there goes Jim,
Down thru lover's lane,
Now and then we meet again,
But they don't seem the same.

Gee, I get a lonesome feeling,
When I hear those church bells chime;
'Cause those wedding bells are breaking up
That old gang of mine.
-77-

The Blue Tail Fly
When I was young I used to wait
On master and give him his plate,
And pass the bottle when he got dry
And brush away the blue tail fly.

CHORUS:
Jimmie crack corn and I don't care,
Jimmie crack corn and I don't care,
Jimmie crack corn and I don't care,
My master's gone away.

And when he'd ride in the afternoon,
I'd follow after with a hickory broom
The pony being rather shy
When bitten by a blue tail fly...CHORUS

On day he ride around the farm,
The flies so numerous they did swarm,
One chanced to bite him on the thigh,
The devil take the blue tail fly...CHORUS

The pony run, he hump, he pitch,
He threw my master in the ditch,
He died and the jury wondered why,
The verdict was the blue tail fly...CHORUS

They buried him under a simmon tree,
His epitaph is there to see......
Beneath this stone I'm forced to lie
Victim of the blue tail fly...CHORUS

The Coed And The Cadet

The Coed and the Cadet were courting I declare,
Down by the gate they didn't know that I was there
Oh the Coed she was bashful and Cadet he was shy,
He asked her if he could and this was her reply:

You can do it if you wanna
But you'd better do it right,
You'd better not do it
Like you lid the other night
CaBse if you do, I'm telling you
I'll never let you do it again
I really mean it,
I'll never let you kiss me again
- 7* -

The Cowboy's Lament

As I walked out on the streets of Laredo,
As I walked out in Laredo one day,
I spied a cowpuncher all wrapped in white linen,
All wrapped in white linen as cold as the c}ay.

O, beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly,
Play the dad march as you carry me along,
Take me to the valley, there lay the sod o'er me,
Foe I'm a young cowboy and I know I've done wrong,

I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy,
There words he did say as I slowly stepped by,
Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story,
I'm shot in the breast and I know I must die.

It was once in the saddle I used to go dashing,
Once in the saddle T used to go gay,
Then I first took to drinking and then took to gambling,
Got shot in the breast and I'm dying todya.

Let sixteen gamblers come carry my coffin,
Let six pretty maidens come sing me a song,
Take me to the graveyard, there roll the sod o'er me,
For I'm a young cowboy and I know I've done wrong.

We beat the drum slowly and played the fife lowly,
And bitterly wept as we bore him along,
For we all loved our comrade so brave, young, and handsome,
We all loved our comrade although he'd done wrong.

The Foggy, Foggy Dew

When I was a bachelor, I loved all alone,
I worked at the weaver's trade;
And the only, only thing that I did
that was wrong,
Was to woo a fair young maid.
I wooed her in the wintertime,
Part of the summer, too,
And the only, only thing that I did
that was wrong,
Was to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew.
- 7!T-

The Ho-Chi-Min Trail
Tune: The Navajo Trail

Everyday along about sunrise
When the sky line is beginning to pale;
I load six seven-fifties
And fly the Ho-Chi-Min Trail.
I hate to see the flak a burstin' 'round me,
I shiver when I think about it's sting
But over yonder hill the SAMs are rising
They always seem to yank my pucker string.

Well, what do you know, it's Bingo already,
And two hundreds the course that I sail.
Tomorrow I'll load more seven-fifties
and fly the Ho-Chi-Min Trail

The Man Behind The Armor Plated Desk

Early in the morning when engines start to roar
You can see the old goat standing
Beside his office door.
He'll be sweating out the take-off

As he's often done before.
The man behind the armor door.

Four times he's led us up there
And he always led us back
For he circled o'er the IP
As we went in to attack.
He said, "I'm hard yet fair, boys, but allergic to act- ack"

And when the target's sighted
Who inspires our attack?
Who says, "Hundreds may go in, lads,
But a few arn't coming back,"
Who says, "We;11 disregard the minimum
When you suppress the flak,"
The man behind the armor plated desk.

And when the mission's over
And debriefing they should be
You can search the whole field over
but not a pilot will you see.
For they'll be at the "0" club
With a mixed drink in their hand
Singing "The Man Behind The Armor Plated Desk"
- 80 -

The Tattle Brown Mouse

Oh the liquor was spilled on the bar-room floor
The Bar was closed for the night
When out of his hole came a little Brown Mouse
And he sat in the „:>ale moonlight
He lapped up the liquor on the bar-room floor
As back on his haunches he sat
And all night long you could hear him roar
"Bring; on your goddamn cat!"

The Persian Kitty

The Persian Kitty, perfumed and fair
Went out to the kitchen just to get some air
When a Tom Cat, lithe, lean and long.
Dirty and yellow, came along.
Now he sniffed that perfumed Persian Cat
As she walked around with much eclat.
Thinking of a bit of time to pass
He wispered, "Baby, you sho got class".

And fitting and proper was her reply
As she arched a whisker right over her eye.
"Daily, I'm fed on certified milk
And nightly I sleep on pillows of silk.
I should be happy with what I've got.
I should be happy, but happy I'm not.
I should be happy, I should indeed
Just cause I'm highly pedigreed".

"Cheer up", said the Tom Cat with a smile
"And trust your new found friend for awhile.
You need not escape from your backyard fence
Baby, all you need is experience".
Now the joys of life he did unfurl
As he told her the tales of the outside world
Suggesting at last with a lurid laugh
A trip for the two down the primrose path.

Now the morning after the night before
The Kitty came home about the hour of four.
The innocent look from her eyes had went, and
The smile on her face was a smile of content.
In later years the neighbors came
Just to see the Persian kittens of pedigreed fame.
They weren't Persian, they were black and tan,
And she told them that their daddy was a traveling man
A traveling man, a ratching, scratching traveling man.
- 81 -

The Red River Valley

To the valley he said he was flying
and he never saw the pay that he earned.
Many jocks have flown into the valley
And a number have never returned.

So I listened as he briefed on the mission.
Tonight at the bar TEAK flight will sing,
But we're goin' to the Red River Valley
and today you're flying my wing.

On the flack is so thick in the valley,
That the MIGs and the missiles we don't need
So fly high and down sun in the valley
And guard well the ass of TEAK lead.

Now if things turn to shit in the valley
And the briefing that I gave you don't heed,
They'll be waiting at the Hanoi Hilton
And it's fish heads and rice for TEAK lead.

We refueled on the way to the valley,
In the states it had always been fun,
But with thunder and lightning all around us,
'Twas the last A.A.R. for TEAK one.

Oh, he flew through the flack toward the target
With his bombs and his rockets drew a bead,
But he never pulled out of his bomb run,
'Twas fatal for another TEAK lead.

So come and sit by my side at the briefings,
We will sit there and tickle the heads,
For we're going to the Red River Valley
And my callsign today is TEAK lead!

The Thad Drivers Theme
Tune: Whiffenpoof Song

From a hootch in Southeast Asia,
To the place where aces dwell
To the strip club down at Zuke
We knew so well.

Sing the fighter jocks assembled
With their glasses raised on high,
Sing they poorly not too clearly,
loud as well

We will throw our glasses wildly,
And throw our bombs as well
And the finks at Two A.D. can go to hell
-82 -

We are poor fighter jocks who have lost
our way,
Help---Help—Help. We flew to the town
ox Hanoi today, Help---Help---Help
Steely eyed pilots up in the blue,
Lead got zapped by an SA-2,
Let's haul ass or they'll zapp us too,
A----------—B-----------—no*! I I

The Yellow Rose Of Hanoi
There's a yellow rose in Hanoi
Who loves a fighter crew.
She runs the Hanoi Hilton
And she longs to welcome you.
Her father's name is Ho Chi Minh
He has a long goatee.
And if you greet him nicely,
He will let you stay for free.

CHOEUS: Her eyes are shaped like almonds,
And I'll give you a hunch,
I don't want to meet her family,
Cause they're a nasty bunch.
It's fish heads and rice for breakfast
And fish heads and rice for tea.
But so long as they don't catch me,
No fish heads and rice for me.

Oh, you may fly a Phantom,
Or you may fly a Thud,
But if you fly to Hanoi,Better
listen to me Bud.
You may talk of girls in Bangkok,
Or Los Angeles and such,
But the yellow rose of Hanoi
Is just a bit too much.

CHORUS
- 83 -

ThOTe_AreJ2loFigUter Pilots
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in Hell
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in Hell
The p]acs is full of queers
Navigators, Bombardiers
But tnsre are no fighters pilots down in Hell,

Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states
They ars off on foreign shores
Making nothers out of whores
Oh therj are no fighter pilots in the states
Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce
Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce
The automatic pilot's on
Reading novels in the John
On the bomber pilot's life is just a farce

Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
Hirf gyrjs are engaged
And nis women overaged
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare.

Oh there are no fighter pilots in Fifth
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in Fifth
The place is full of brass
Sitting round on their fat ass.
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in Fifth

Ofa there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
They are all across the bay
Being shot at every day
Oh there are no lighter pilots in Japap

Oh it's naughty nsughty naughty but it's nice
If you ever do it once you'll do it twice
It'll wreck your reputation
But increase the population
It's naughty naughty naughty but It,'s nice

When • bomber jockey walks into our club
When , bomber jockey walks into our club
He dtVc drink his share of suds
All he does is flub his dub
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in Hell
- 84 -

Throttle Bender

(.Tune; McNamara's Band)

My name is Throttle Bender,
I'm the leader of the gang;
I burn up lots of engines,
But I don't give a hang,
To me full bore is normal cruise,
Cause I don't give a darn;
My boys can n#ver catch me
They've got a lot to learn.

CHORUS: ?fe are the boys from Xtazuki,
We are the boys from itazook,
We are the boys from Itazuki;
We fly with the ________ Group.

My name is Throttle Bender
I'm the leader of the Group,
I always cause confusion
But I don't give a hoot,
I climb too slow, 1 dive too fast,
I pull excessive G's,
I know my ooys are following,
I hear their knocking knees.
. . . . .CHORDS

My name is Throttle Bender,
I'm the leader of the Wing.
I haven't led a group in years
So I don't know a think
About the wing formation, boys,
That I am going to lead;
But I'm the Wing Commander
So there yealiy is no need.
. . . . .CHORUS

Now if you lead a flight, boys,
Or if you lead a Group;
Lend an ear and you will hear
The latest kind of poop.
From ToKeeyo to Sazzmago
You'll hear the boys all say,
The leader bent the throttle, so
I had it ro.ugh today.
..... CHORUS
- 85 -

Tipperary

It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to Tipperary,
To the sweetest girl I know
Farewell to Piccadily,
Good-by Leicester Square;
It's a long, long way to Tipperary,
But my heart's right there.

Tiptanks And Tailpeipa

Bless them all, bless them all,
Bless tiptanks and tailpipes and all
Bless old man Lockhead for building this jet,
But I know a guy who is cussing him yet
"cause he tried to go over the wall
With tiptanks and tailpipes and al1 .
The needless did cross, and the wings did come off
With Tiptanks and Tailpipes and all

Through the wall, through the wall
Through the bloody invisible wall,
That transonic journey is nothing but rough
As bad as a ride on the local base bus.
So I'm staying away from it all
Subsonic for me and that's all
If you're hot you might make it,
But you're prob'ly break it
Your butt or your neck, not the wall
- ?6 _

Titanic
Oh, they built the ship "Titanic"
And when they had it through
They thought they had a ship
That the water -vould not come through
But the Good Lord raised his hand
Said that ship would never land
It was sad when that great ship went down.
CHORUS
It was sad, it was sad,
It was sad %>ien that great snip wnet down
Husbands and wires (High squeaky voice) little bitty
children lost their lives.
It was sad whsn the great ship went down,

They were off for England
And were headed for the shore,
And the rich refused to associate with the poor
So they put them down below
And they were the first to go
It was sad when that great ship went down.

CHORUS

Oh, they put the life boats out
In the raging burning sea,
And the band struck ud with "N*er My god to Thee"
Oh, the Captain tried to wire
But the wire was on fire
It -was sad when that great ship went dowi,

CHOBUS

la a prJ-aon call 1 sic, thi.nkiig} iflotbe-", tear, of y.
And o1 r jjfigat <4qd h-»oo/ hoB@ so far a <bj,
fend tbj ^'"s ■'■hey 1^1. &*• eyes, spite of all cftat j. e?
"a©3 » rJt'y .,'i c »ee/ 1/ o'^mra^Qa -"iid bs bris,

CHQRU.^ „ fr^ipr- c arao, t-^ns the 3'yc aes MarchxEg
Cree-™ vp "Ctt._i.des, tliej tcII cane,
tea beu^ich one stury flag,
»?s s'lai.i celebs tbe air again,
Cx tne x -aedoiu in o^i ovr< ha^ovat licte

In tt 3 bat els f/out v/e stood wnan the fiercest c>a-ge
And .hey swspt us off a hundred men or mere,
But before »s reaciiad their lines, they weie beaten oac
And sa heard the cry of victory o'er and o'er.

CHORUS:
- 87 -

Trash Haiders In The Sky,

A trash hauler flew overhead
One dark and Windy Day.
He passed above our runway,
As he flew upon his way.
When all at once our flight offour
Gave him an awful fright
We flew within a hundred feet
And pitched out on his right.

Yippee Aye Aay_____________
Yipee Aye Ooh__________^^
Trash Haulers~Tn the sky.

We called out on the radio
He hit a power dive -
And prayed to God and Orville Wright
That he'd remain alive,
He cut down through our pattern
And pulled about two "G's".
When he regained control again
He barely cleared the trees.

Yippee Aye Aay
Yippee Aye Ooh________
Trash Haulers Tn~the slsy.

We told him on the radio
We said to him "My Son".
We said "My boy if you want to live
You'd damn well better run".
So push those frappin throttles up
And head across the sky,
And never venture near again -
Where Phantom pilots fly.

Yippee Aye Aay_________
Yippee Aye Ooh______^^
Trash Haulers in the sky.
- 88 -

Twelve Days Of Tet

(Tune: 12 Days 01 Christmas)

On the First day of "TKT"
My D„0. gave to me,
A gun on a Phantom F-4C.

Second - 2 CBUs
Third - 3 Rocket Launchers
Fourth.- 4 High Drags
Fifth 5 Hand Grenades
Sixth - 6 Side Winders
Seventh - 7 750s
Eighth - 8 Charging Sparrows
Ninth - 9 Nasty Napes
Tenth - 10 Tons of Bombs
Eleventh - 11 Lady Fingers
Twelvth - 12 Firecrackers

Violate Me

Violate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that you know,
To the best things in life
I am utterly oblivious;
Give me a life that is lewd and
lasciviouss
Violate me in violet time
In the vilest way that you know.
Ravage me,' savage me
Utterly damage me,
On me no mercy bestow.
Violate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that you know„

Vii gin Sturgeon
Caviar comes from a virgin sturgeon
Virgin Sturgeon is a very fine fish
Virgin sturgeon needs no urgin'
That's why caviar is my dish

Shad roe comes from a scarlet shad fish
Shad fish have a very sad fate
Pregnant shad fish is a sad fisn
Got that way without a mate

Oysters they are fishy bevalves
They have youngsters in their shell
How they diddle is a riddle
But tney do, so what the hell

The green sea turtle's mate is happy
With her lover's winning ways
Thirst he grips her #ith nis flipper
Then he flips her and grips for days

Vive_j/AiPogt_

Good fellowship brings us together toaa/,
Vive la compagnie'
It lights up our faces and makes our nearts
gay,
Vive la compagraxe'

CHOSUS.
Viva la, iri/a la, \""vs 1 pmou
v ve 'a vire 1" i/ive i amour"
/a /■= j! mo if, vi e i'a wu'
/ /e is coajpi^ne'

t O o >3 °lg1vj " _" f J

1 «■
j3 * "ci h o v i te

/^.ve ii >_ 1 3 0n a
It1
- 90

Wabash Ccimonball
From the great Atlantic Ocean,
To the wide Pseific Shore,
From the suset o'er flowing mountains
Tc the south land by the moor
She's kno<?a quite well by all
For she5s tike ccnbination
01 the Wabash Cannon Ball

CHORUS:
Listen to the Jiigle,
The rumble and the roar,
As she glides along the woodlands,
Thru the hills and by the shore}
Hear the mig'ity rush of the eiigine,
H*»ar those lonesoce hoboes squall
While crsvelin* thru the juggle
On the Wabash Gannon Ball,

Our Eastern states ara dandy
So the people always say,
From New York to St. Louis
And Chisago by the wpjg;
?xom the hills of Minnesota
Where the rippling waters fall
No changes can be taken
On the Wabash Cannon Ball,
. , . „.„.CHORUS

She came down to Birmingham
Oae cold December day,
As she pulled into the station
You could hear all the people say
There's a gal from Tennessee;
She's long and she's tall
She came down to Birmingham
On the Wabash Cannon Ball.
__.....CHORUS

Now here's to Daddy Claxton
May his name forever stand,
And always be remembered
In the courts throughout the land.
His earthly race is over,
And the curtains round him fall,
We'll carry him hone to Dixie
On the Wabash Canwan Ball.
. . . ......CHORUS
- 91 -

Waltzing Matiida

One a jolly swagman camped by a brill-along
Under the shade of a coolibah tree,
And he sang as he sat and waited till his
billy boiled;
You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me,

CHORUS;
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.
And he sang as he sat and waited till his
billy boiled,
You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.

Down came a Jumbuck to drink at the
brill-alongj
Op jumped the swagman and grabbed him
with glee.
And he sang as he stowed that jumbuek in
Ms tucker bag
You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me,
„ „ „ „ . .CHORUS

Warm Summers Morning {O'Kilsyg Hag)

Twas z. ware summers morning, the Migs were al-i svaralag
And ws were too far on the roam
When the J light leader said, to his f7isLit vlia tails red
p3ail outj we can't stay where we ar?".
We shed our tiptanlcs and turned on cur /laiiS,
i-nd we headed our asses for noma
When up from the ground came the flak all arouna
My God how I wish I'd st&ya'i hoie,
Operations never told us, the thing that we should have known
About the flak that is white and black
And how your eighty moans - and it groans,
Thirty^five more missions and I'll be headed bac>
Back to Truman's Island where there is no Goddamn flak.
- 92 -

Wait Till The Sun Shines Nellie
Wait 'till the sun shines, Nellie,
And the clouds go drifting by,
We will be so happy, Nellie,
Don't you cry.

Down Lover's lane we'll wander,
Sweethearts, you and I.
Wait 'till the sun shiness Nellie
Bye and Bys.

Way Back ia The Hills

Way back id the hills as a boy I once wandered.
Buried deep in the ground
Lies the girl that I loved;
She was called from this earth,
A jewel from Heaven,
More precious than diamonds,
More precious than gold.

CHORUS:
A jewel here on earth
A jewel in Heaven,
She'll brighten the kingdom
Around God's real throne,
May the angels have pegcs,
God oless her in Heaven,
They've broken my heart
Ana they've left me to roam.

When a girl of sixteen,
We eoarted s&ch other,
She promised someday
To become av sweet wife
I bought he1" the ring
To wear on her finger,
But the angels they called her
To Heaven, one night.
. . . .CHORUS

This world has its wealth
Its trials and troubles,
Mother earth holds her treasures
of diamonds and gold,
But it can't hold a soul
Of one precious jewel
She's resting in peace
At the heavenly throne,
.........CHORUS
- 93 -

"We're Here For Fim"

(Tunes Auld Lang Syne)

We're here for fun right from the start
So drop your dignity
Just laugh and sing with all your heart
And show your loyalty;
May all your troubles be forgot
Let this night be the best
Join in the songs we sing tonight
Be happy with the rest.

When Yob Were SweetSfacteen

I love you as I never loved before
Since first I saw you on the village green
Come to me, ere my dream of love is O'er
I love you as I loved you
When you were sweet sixteen.

When Yog Wore A Taiip

When you wore a tulip
A big yellow tulip,
And I wore a Jjig red rose,
When you caressed me,
!Twas then heaven blessed me,
You made life cheery,
When you called me deary,
Way down where the blue grass grows.
Your lips were sweeter than julip
When you wore a tulip
And I wore a big red rose.

When Your Leaves Have Turned To Silver

When your leaves have turned to silver
Will you love us just the same?
Oh, we'll always call you "(Any old
dirty Major)"
Isn't that a bloody shame?

To the days at Itazuke
And the parties that we knew
When your leaves have turned to silver
You can stick them up your flue I
- 94 -

Whew Have All The Old Hgads Gone

Tune; Where Have All The Flowers Gone

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago,
Where havei all the soldiers gone?
They've all gone to Vietnam.
When will they ever learn;
Oh, when will they even learn?

Where have all the Vietnamese gone?
Long time passing.
Where have all the Vietnamese gone?
Long timeago.
Where have all the Vietnamese gone?
They've all become Viet Cong
Oh, when will we ever learn;
Oh, when will we ever learn?

Where have all the VC's gone?
long time passing.
Where have all the VC's gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the VC's gone"
To fix the bridges that we bomb,
Oh, when will they ever learn;
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where do all the Weasels go?
Long time passing.
Where do all the Weasels go?
Long time ago.
Where do all the Weasels go?
O'er the ridge to meet the foe,
Oh, when will they ever learn;
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where have all ^he SAM sites gone?
LoLig time passing,
Where have all the SAM sites gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the SAM sites gone?
They've been do^n, oh, so long,
Oh, when will they ever learn'
Oh, when will they ever learn?

Where do all the strike flights go?
Long time passing.
Where do all the strike flights go?
Long time ago.
Where do all the stride flights go?
'Cross the fence again, I know.

- 95 -

Oh, When will they ever learn;
Oh, When will they every learn?

Where have all the flak sites gone?
Long time passing.
Where have all the flak sites gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the flak sites gone?
Aong the railroad, Oh, so long.
Oh, when will they ever learn;
Ohi, when will they ever learn?

Where have all the old heads gone?
Long time pa&sing.
Where have all the old heads gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the old heads gone?
They've gone home; their tour is done.
You see, they've finally learned;
Oh yes, they've finally learned,

Whiffenpoof Sonft

To the tables down at Mory's
TO the place where Louis Dwells
To the dear old Temple Bar we love so well,
Sing the Whiffenpoofs assembled
With their glasses raised on high
And the magic of their singing
Of the songs we love so well.
"Shall I wasting" and "Mavourneen"
and the rest,
We will serenade our Louis,
While life and voice shall last,
Then we'll pass and be forgotten with the rest.
We're poor little lambs who have
lost our way, Baa, Baa, Baa,
Gentlemen songsters off on a spree
Dpmned from there to eternity,
God have mercy on such as we,
Baa, Baa, Baa,

Who Knowa

The moon was shinning on the barroom floor
The joint was closed for the night
When out of the corner crept a little fat mouse
And sat in the pale moonlight.

He lapped up the liquor from the barroom floor
And back on his haunches he sat
Then to that empty room said
BRING TOUR GODDAMN CAT.
- 9b -

Who Owns This Club

Oh, We're the boys from the ____________,
You've heard so much about
The mothers keep their daughters in
Whenever we go out.

We're always drinking whiskey
And we're always full of booze
Oh we're the boys from the __________.
And wo the hell are youse?

Who owns this club oo-wa-wa
Who owns this club oo-wa-wa
Who owns this club the people cry-eye-eye
We own this club oo-wa-wa
We own this club oo-wa-wa
____________Fighter Group we reply-eye-eye
Repeat

Wild Weasel
Tune: Sweet Betsy From Pike

Wild Weasel, Wild Weasel, tbey call me by name.
I fly up on Thud Ridge, and play the big game.
I fly o'er the valleys and hide behind hills;
I dodge all the missiles, then go in for kills
I'm a lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot, fine bear.
Come weak guns, some weak guns; they're all off at one.
But don't worry fellows, for threats, there are none.
There's a. big one just looking at two o'clock now.
There's flak all around us. They've shooting, and how.
I'm a lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot, fine bear.
Keep moving, they're shooting. The target's at eight.
Go burner, now roll in, don't pull it off straight.
A missile! A missile! Let's take it on down.
Oh God, where's that bastard? My flight suits turned brown.
I'm a lonely Thud driver with a. shit-hot, fine bear.
Now pull it up, pull up, and head for the sky.
The missile's at two, boys; now watch it sail by-
There* s smoke from the SAM site out there in the grass.
Set 'em up hot, boys, and we'll nail his ass.
I'm lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot fine bear.
Wild Veasel, Wild Weasel, They've called me by name.
I flew o'er the fence, and I've won the big game.
One hundred, one hundred, I'm heading for home.
And over those damn hills, I'll never more roam.
I'm a lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot,fine bear
- 97 -

/ill The Migs Come Out To Play

rune: My Indiana Home;

Vhen the SAMsrstart rising from old Haiphong
Harbor,
And the 85's start puffing at Kep Hay,
Yea will know your target's just
around that mountain
And you wonder if the MIGs will come to play

Oh, you reach your pull up point and
start your pop up,
And the tracers seem to urge you on your way,
You see the bridge and as you start
your rollin,
You wonder if the MIGs will come to play.

Oh, You've dropped your bombs and now
you're off and running,
Jinking hard you're on your merry way,
And as you reach the jagged limestone
ridges,
You wonder if the MIGs will come to play.

Oh, you've reached the coast and all
the sea is friendly
Your fuel is low, but not too low you say,
I can make it back to Korat nice and easy,
If only the MIGS don't come to play.

Oh, you start your climb and now you're
resting easy,
A drink of water helps y.ou on your way,
But a glint of light, a speck up high,
and you know,
The MIGs have fin-al-ly come out to play,

Oh, your burner's lit, you're diving
down, you're running,
But his overtake is must to great today,
In your dinghy bobbing on the Gulf of Tonkin,

"'ou wish the SIGs jusfc hadn't come to play!!!
- 98 -

Wreck Of Old Ninety-Seven

There were 97 aircrft parked out on the apron
And there wasn't room for more
Now the first 96 were of modern construction
And the last was a DH-4

The first 47 were reserved for the majors
And the captains had the next 49
There was one ship left on the end of the apron
It was the last ship in the line.
It was old "97" and her fuselage was rusty
And her wings were warped and bent
And she sagged in the middle like a cow in the pasture
Like a cow that was quite content.

Then a 2d Lt wandered into operations
And he asked for a ship or two
But they said, "Young man we are mighty short of aircraft,
But we'll see what we can do".

It was old "97" and she had a fine record
But she hadn't, been flown that year
And she growled and she groaned when he warmed up her engine
'Cause she knew that her end was near.

So they flew over Birmingham and South Alabama
'Til the clouds began to fall
'Till they settled down on the tops of the mountains
And you could't see a thing at all.

So he turned to the left and he flew into a snowstorm
So he turned back to the right
'Til he found a railroad going in his direction and he said
"By God, we'll get there tonight".

Then he pointed her nose in a southerly direction
And he kept those tracks in sight
'Til they disappeared in the side of a mountain
And he ended1 his last long flight.

It was old "97" with her nose in the mountain
And her wheels upon the track
Now her throttles were bent in the forward direction
But her engine was. pointed back.

All you Air Force ladies please take fair warning
No matter where you roam
Never say harsh words to your aviator boy friend
He may leave you and never come home.
- 99 -

Yellow Rose Of Texas

There's a yellow rose in Texas, I'm going there to see,
No other fellow knows her, nobody only me.
She cried so when I left her, It like to broke her heart,
And if we ever meet again, we never more shall part.
CHORUS
She's the sweetest rose of color, a fellow ever knew,
Her eyes are bright as diamonds, they sparkle like the dew.
You may talk about your dearest maid, and sing of Rosy Lee,
But the yellow rose of Texas, beats the gals of Tennessee.

Oh, I'm going back to find her, my heart is full of woe,
We'll sing the songs together, we sang so long ago,
I'll pick the banjo gaily, and sing the songs of yore,
And the yellow rose of Texas, shall be mine forever more.
CHORUS
Yon Can Tell A Fighter Pilot
(Tune: Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory)

By the ring around his eyeball,
You can tell a bombardier
You can tell a bomber pilot by the
spread around his rear
You can tell a navigator by his
sextants, maps and such
You can tell a fighter pilot, but
you cannot tell him much!

You'd Better Get Yourself A Guy

You'd better get yourself a guy
Who stays right here upon the ground
And doesn't wear those shiny, silver wings
And when the evening shadows fall
There'll be no long distance call
To say he's RONing in Palm Springs!
He'll be known in every bar across the country
From blondes, brunettes, and redheads he will flee,
You better get yourself a "mister" in a grey tweed suic
And not a pilot in the ADC!
-100-

Zoot-suitg And Parachutes

(Tune: Bell Bottom Trousers/

There once lived a Fraulein down near Fursty way,
She loved the jet boys, specially their pay,
Along came a "Buzz-boy" as happy as could be,
fle was the cause of all her misery.

CHORUS
Zoot-suits and parachutes
Wings of silver too,
He'll fly a fighter like his daddy used to do.

He ask her for a candle to light his way to bed,
He ask her for a pillow to rest his weary head,
She like a foolish maid, thinking it no harm,
Jumped right in beside him to keep the "Buzz-boy" warm.
............CHORUS

Early in the morning before the break of day
He handed her some Deutche Marks and this he had to say;
"Take this my darling for damage I have done,
By me you'll hr-ve a daughter, or by me you'll have a son"
•*.....«...CHORUS

Now if you have a daughter bounce her way up high
And if you have a son send the rascal out to fly
The moral of this story as you can plainly see,
Is never trust a "Buzz-boy" an inch above your knee.
-101-

INDEX

Page
A Babbling Brook *
Bang It Into Lulu 1
Battle Hymn 2
Oh, It's Beer Beer Beer 3
Bloody Great Wheel 3
British Grenadiers 4
Brown Anchor 4
Brown, Brown *>
Bye Bye Blackbird 7
Cats On The Rooftops 7
Cruising Over Hanoi "
Da Nang Lullabye '
Dangerous Dan Mcgrew 12
Dark And Dreamu Eyes 14
Doodle-Lee-Do 16
Don't Senda Me To Hanoi 16
Down In The Valley 17
Father's Grave 17
Fisherman Song 1°
Fighter Pilots 19
Foggy, Foggy, Dew 20
Frigging In The Rigging 21
Funicule, Funicula 22
Gonna Tie My Peter To A Tree 22
Here"s To The Regular Air Force 23
Hi Jiggy Jiggy 23
Horse Shit 24
I Love My girl 25
I Used To Work In Chicago 25
I Wanted Wings 26
In Fourteen Hundred Ninety Two 28
In Mobile 29
Into The Air 69ers 30
It Was The Good Ship Venus 30
It's The Poor What Gets The Blame 31

Page
Ivan Skavinski Ska v.. 31
Jolly Jolly England 32
Kathusalem 33
Kotex Song 33
Little Angeline 34
Lupe 36
Mary Anne Barns 36
Monk Of Great Renown 36
My Family 37
My Grandfathers Cock 3?
No Balls At All! 38
Ode To A Great Fuckin' Sar Effort 39
O'reilly's Daughter 41
Our Outhouse 41
Phan Rang Blues 42
Pilots Always Eat Pussy 43
Prang 'Em All 46
Pop Goes The Weasel 47
Rio Rio Rio 47
Ring Dang Doo 48
Roll Your Leg Over 49
Russian National Anthem 50
Sally In The Alley 51
Salome 51
Sammy Small (S.E.A. Style) 52
Sammy Small 53
Six Pounds Of Boobie 54
Spanish Guitar 54
The Ball At Karried Mair 55
The Bastard King Of England 57
The Bloody Great Kidney Wiper 58
The Four Bastards 58
The Little Bird 59
The Long Bomba Di 60
The Portions Of A Woman 60

Page
The River Ran Red 6i
The Scotch Wedding 61
The Starting Of The Beauforts 62
The Thanh Hoa Bridge 63
The Tinker 65
The West Virginia Hills 65
Three Whores From Canada Junction 66
Tuff Shitsky 67
Tura Lyura Lyany "°
Uncle George & Auntie Mabel 68
We've Been Working On The Railroad °"
Why Did I Join The Air Force 63
Woodpecker Song '"
You'll Never Mind 70

A Babbling Brook
A babbling brook, a shady nook a girl all
dressed in yellow

Two snow white tits, two ruby lips, oh you
lucky fellow

Between the hours of two and four when be
began to linger

She said, "Young man if you are through,
I'll finish with my finger,"

So he got up and took a piss, and she got
up and farted

He wiped his jock upon her sock, and that
is how they parted.

Nine days went by, he heaved a sigh,
a sigh of pain and sorrow

The pimples pink were on his dink but there'll
be more tomorrow

Nine months went by and she heaved a sigh,
a sigh of pain and sorrow

Two little mutts were in her guts but
they'll be out tomorrow.

Bang It Into Lulu

Some girls work in factories
Some girls work in stores
My giils work in a knockin1 shop
With forty other whores.

Chorass Bang it into Lulu
Band it good and strong
that'll we do for banging
When Lulu's jdead and gojae.

WiSfe I was a Pisspot
Under Lulu's bed
Every rima sa'e stooped to pee
1 d see ler maidenhead.

Wise, I was a finger
Cr Lulu's little hand
Even ti>ne she wiped her ass
I'd see "the promised land.

Lulu had a baby

She had it on a rock
She couldn't call it Lulu
'Cause the bastard had a cock.

Lulu had a baby
She named it Sonny Jim
She threw it in the pisspot
To teach it how to swim.

Last time I saw Lulu
I haven't seen her since
She was suckin' off a tiger
through a barbed wire fence.

Battle Hymn

We fly our f______ Phantoms at 10,000 f ____ feet
We fly our f Phantoms, thru the rain
and snow and sleet
And though we think'we're flying South
We're flying f North
Ane we make our f landfall
On th firth of f______ forth.

Chorus: Glory, Glory, Hallelujia
Glory, Glory, Hallelujia
Glory, Glory, Hallelujia
(Insert last line of each verse)

We fly those f______ Phantoms at f______ all
1,000 feel
We fly those f______ Phantoms, through the
trees and corn and wheat
And though we think we fly with skill
We fly with f____ luck
But we don't five a f______ damn or care
a f f :
We fly those f______ Phantoms at 10,000
f______ Teet
We fly those f______ Phantoms, through the
rain and snow and sleet
And though we think we're flying up,
We're flying f______ down
And we bust our f ~ asses when we hit
the f______ ground.
2 -

Oh, It's Beer Beer Beer

Oh it's beer, beer beer
That makes you want to cheer
In the Corps, in the Corps
Oh it's beer, beer, beer,
That makes you want to cheer
In the U.S. Air, U.S. Air Force.

Chorus: My eyes are dim, I connot see
I have not brought my specs with me.

Whiskey - That makes you feel so friskey.
Gin - Thau makes you want to sin
Vodka - That makes oughta.
Sautorn - Than makes your belly burn.
Vermouth - That makes you feel uncouth.
Bourbon - That makes you feel like chirpin'.
Wine - That makes you feel so fine.
Rum - That makes you feel so dumb.
Rye - That makes you feel so shy.
Brandy - That makes you feel so dandy.
Likkor - That makes you ever sicker.
Sherry - That makes you feel so hairy.
Water - That makes you feel you oughter.
Chartreuse - That makes you morals loose.

Bloody Great Wheel

A pilot told me before he died
And 1 don't think the bastard lied
That he had a girl with a cunt so wide
That she could never be satisfied

So he fashioned up a bloody great wheel
Two brass balls and a prick made of steel
The two brass balls were filled with cream
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam

Round and round went the bloody great wheel
In and out went the prick of steel
Until at last that maiden cried
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied

Now we come to the bitter bit
there was no way of stopping it
She was split from her ass to her tit
And the whole fucking issue was covered with shit
- 3 -

British Grenadiers
Some die of diabetes, and some of diarrhoea,
Some die of drinking whisky and some of
drinking beer
But of all the world's diseases there's none
that can compare,
With the drjp, drip, drip, from the end of
your prick
Of the British Gonorrhea.

Brown Anchor

Tune: Oh Susanna

The phone did ring at half past four
For briefing I weren't there
"Get your ass here right away
You've been elected spare."

"Oh Brown Anchor"
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!"

I was setting by the runway
And feeling mighty low
"Bear four, you've got a hydraulic leak
I guess I'll have to go!"

Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fasti"

I guess I told a little lie
It probably wasn't fair
It was my only chance to say,
"Bear spare is in the air."

Oh Brown Anchor
"(Vitn ray two hour ass
A Fa'taestock Clip upon my '-lick
Oh, leader go l^ome fasti

It was raining out when we took off
Night weather we did fly
¥Je rendezvous at nineteen thou
My tank were nearly dry

On Brown Anchor
With luy two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast'"

As we climbed out I had to fart
My belly it did swell
I had to put my mask back on
I couldn't stand the smell

Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!"

They're 12 o'clock at 5 miles
You're cleared refueling freq
"Tally'ho" our flight leader cried
And head'on we did meet.

Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!"

We hung out at 14 thou
The burner going strong
The flak came flying by my bow
We can't hang out hers long.

Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!"

Oh I pulled off the target
And for B.D.A. looked back
I couldn't see the bomb burst
For the son-of-a-bitchen' flak

Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!"

Finally got my hundred flown
To the states I*m flying back
6 more hours on my ass
And then into the sack

No more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fast.

1 opened my hold baggage
My wife she sure did flip
I hope that she will understand
I just adopted "Nip"
- d -

Wo more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fast

I rolled over with a sigh
Bed springs were sagging low
Put a mark upon the wall
Only 99 to go.

No more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fast.

Though I had a Bravo frag
As I jumped into
It was a real tight target
So I marked it up in red

No more Brown Anchor
For„my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fast.

2To more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fas'".

Brown, Brown

There was a young maiden named Adeline Schmidt,
She went to the doctor cause she couldn't shit.
He gave her some medicine wrapped up in glass
Up went the sindow and out went her ass.

Chorus: It was brown, brown, shit falling down
Brown, brown, shit all around
It was brown, brown, shit falling down
The whole world was covered with shit.

A handsome young copper was walking his beat
He happened to be on that side of the street
He looked up so bashful, he looked up so shy
When a piece of brown shit, hit him right in the eye.

'''his handsome young copper, he cussed and he swore
He called that young maiden a a^rty old whore
And under a bridge you can still see him sit
With a sign *roung his neck saying, "Blinded by Shit."
- 6 -

Bye Bye Blackbird

Tune: Bye Bye Blackbird

There was a man, he was no good
He took a girlie in the wood
He flies Phantoms
Then he took off all her clothes
An her shoes, and her hose
He flies Phantoms
He took her where nobody else could find her
Took a string and tied her hands behind her
Walked away and began to sing
Began to sing, ting-a-ling
Phantoms, I fly.

Cats On The Rooftops

Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles,
Cats with the syphillis, cats with the piles,
Cats with their ass holes wreathed in rosy smiles
As they revel in the joys of copulation.

Oh, the hippopotamus so it seems
Seldom ever has wet dreams
But when he does, he comes in streams,
As he revels in the joys of copulation.

The donkey is a funny bloke
He seldom ever takes a poke
But when he does he lets it soak
As he revels in the joys of copulation

If you wake up in the morning with a belly full of joy
Your wife has the monthly and your daughter's
looking coy
Then you jam it up the ass of your eldest boy,
And you revel in the joys of copulation.

But if you wake up in the morning with a hard
cock stand,
And you've got that funny feeling in your seminary
gland,
Then by Mackeral, you use your hand,
As you revel in the joys of masturbation.
- 7 -

Cruising Over Hanoi
We were cruising over Hanoi
Doin gour and fifty per-
When I called to my flight leader,
Oh won't <you help me sir?
The "SAMS" are hot and heavy,
The MIGS are on our ass,
Take us home flight leader,
Please don't make another pass.

Chorus: Hellelujia - Hallelujia!
Throw a nickel in the grass
Save a fighter pilot's ass
Hallelujia - Hallelujia!
Throw a nickel in the grass
And you'll be saved.

I rolled into my bomb run
Trying to set the pipper right,
When a "SAM" came off the launch pad,
And headed for our flight
Then number two informed me
"Hey four, you'd better break!"
I racked that goddam plane so hard
It made the whole thing shake.

CHORUS

I started my recovery.
It seemed things were all right.
When I felt the damndest impact,
Saw a blinding flash of light.
We held the stick with all our might
Against the finding force.
Then number two screamed out at us
"Hey four, you've had the course!"

CHORUS

I screamed at my back seater,
"we'd better punch on out -
Eject, eject, you stupid shit!
In panic I did shout.
I didn't wait around to see
If Joe had got the word.
I reached between my legs and pulled,
And took off like a bird.

CHORUS

As I descended in my chute,
My thoughts were rather grim.
Rather than to be a prisoner
- 8 -

I'd tight them to the end.
I hit tl *; groun i and staggered up
And looked aroujd to see
And there in blazing neon,
Hanoi Hilton welcomed me.

CHORUS

(SLOWLY)
The moral of this story is
When you're in package six,
You'd better goddam look around
Or you'll be in my lix.
I'm a guest at Hanoi Hilton
With luxury sublime
The only thing thats not so groat
I'll be here a long - long - time.

CHORUS

Ba Natsg liullabye

Tupe: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

CHORUS:
Boll in, roll in,
My God how the wortars roll in, roll in
Roll in, roll in,
My God how the mortars roll in.

I went off to Southeast Asia
To fight ray own war ia the air.
I've speftt ba?f my tour in a bunker,
X don' t think That its really fair.

CHORUS

Each day 1 go off to fly combat,
Then have a beer whep I return.
1 usually finish the firsx one,
Before incoming rounds are heard.

CHORUS

They sent our old instructors, to teach us
all their tricks
So now we're flying training, behind those
dirty pricks

Letting down from forty-four, busting througn
the mach
That Sabre Jex was moving now, falling Ixke a
•rock
My boom was aimed right at the field, there
was an awful sound

Since we're flying training now, I'm sitting
on the ground

I started up into a loop, I thought that I
was clear
I pulled up under Colonel Blood, I thought
the end was near
I went before the F.E.B., and they gave me
the works
Glory, Glory, Halleluia, what a bunch of
jerks

Strafin' on the panel, I made my pass too low
There came a call from Melrose, "One more and
home you go"
I pulled that Sabre in the blue, she hit a
high speed stall
Now I won't see my mother, when the work's all
done this fall

Now I'm in the gutter, with pretzels in my beer
With pretzels in my whiskers, I knew the end
was near
Then came this glorious Air Force, to save
me from the worst
Everybody bust a butt and sing the second verse

Fouled up my crosswind landing, the left wing
hit the ground
There came a call from the tower, pull up and
go around
I racked that Sabre in the air a dozen feet
or more
The engine quit, I almost shit, the gear came
through the floor

Split S onto my bomb run, I got God Damn low
I pressed the bloody button, let both my
babies go
I sucked the stick back in my gut, I hit a
high speed stall
Now I Won't see my mother when the works all
done this fall

They sent me up to Pyongyang, the brief said
"Shoshe ack ack"
Rat by the time I got there, my wings were
holed by flak
My aircraft went into a spin, it would no
longer fly
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, I am too young to die

I bailed out from that Sabre, my landing was
top line
- 10 -

With my E and E equipment, I made for our
front line
When I opened up my ration tin, to see what
was in it
The God Damn Quartermaster, had filled the
thing with shit
Now in this Commie prison camp,, I am obliged
to sit
For one cannot go very far, on a ration tin
of shit
If I am ever free again, I will no longer fly
But I'll have Quartermaster bollix for break-
fast till I die

Each morning we go off to combat
At dawn in the clouds, fog and rain.
The Gyreens are up even sooner,
To recapture the ramp at Da Nang.

CHORUS

And now my tour is all over
I'll resume the life that I led.
My wife thinks that its rather silly,
To put sandbags around the bed.

CHORUS
- 11 -

Dangerous Dan Mcgrew
CAussie Version)
A bunch of the boys was whooping it up in the Malemute Saloon
In the brothel next door a French whore was floating like a balloon.
I was standing outside in a snowdrift trying to make up me mind
Whether to get me a skin full of grog or hop in the drum for a grind.

When the swinging doors fly open and I gets me a whiff of the gin
So I tries me cock in a lovers knot and opens the door and walks in;
Now the barroom floor was so crowded you couldn't *av swung Murphy's cat
And although the women was sexy enough there was hardly room for a fat.

So I shoulders me way to the counter and orders a double of rum
And just to show I'm a regular beau I dates this bird in the bum.
"Get out of it you big bludger'', she howled. Christ how the crowd did
roar.
"That's no way to treat a lady, you pox ridden son of a whore.'"

So I buys her a drink and she5s happy, I thinks maybe I513 make a pass
Then I gets me a whiff of !er armpit, and I wipes her, just like an ass
Then I picks up me drink and shoulders me way to a table by the piannei
Where the Ragtime Kid keeps playing his tune in his usual up-to-shit
manner.

When I takes a quick look round the barroom, & I says to meself, "what
a scene"
If the Devil happened in for a quick slug of gin, they'd be up him for
bein a queen,
In the middle a couple was dancin*, they were stuck together like glue,
If it weren't for the fact tbey had pants on, you'd swear they was
bavin' a screw.

The barman's a guy from Missouri, with diamonds all dressed up to kill
One band's on the cunt of his cutie, and his other big mitt on the till.
Now I guess I'd be what you call tough-like, I've been around in me time,
But this little part of Alaska, just shits me, I tell you she's prime.

There's drinkin & Fuckin & gambling & swearin* and all kinds of vice,
You can saddle the hole of an Indian boy, just by a roll of the dice.
But one thing stands out like a shit-house, in this cesspool of cunt,
rum & spew
As she stands there by the planner, the lady that's known as Lou

I wish I had words to describe her in poetic words and of rhyme
As she stands there gracefully sweeping the flies off her twat with a fan.
I*a give pay dirt just to be up her, but I know I'm not in the race
Isd gulp the air like a drowning steer if she'd only fart in me face.
Then all of a sudden it happened, like lightening right out of the blue,
As the swinging doors flew open, and there stands Dan McGrew.
The silence was grim and forebodin', you could have heard a mouse squeak,
And before I knew I'd begun it, I found meself takin a leak.
- 12 -

I say it was grim and forebodin', like nothin what I've heard before
And I've had a close shave, when an Indian brave caught me fuckin his
squaw.
"I've come to shoot you Lou", sez Dan, "and I'm goin* to shoot you quick
And after I've shot you cold with me gun, I511 fuck you hot with me prick.

"Stick your gur up your bum, you big country hick, say Lou and ber
voice was like ice"
"If a cow sucked you off in a famine, you'd be two fuckin mean to come
twice".
I'll not take that from a woman, says Dan, and his hand to his holster
flew,
And no man could draw a gun faster, than Dangerous Dan McGrew.

There were two shots, a scream & a deathly hush & the Ragtime Kid made
for the door
But I couldn't take me gaze from the shape of the ass that lay on the
barroom floor,
It was Dangerous Dan who lay there, as stiff as a weddin' prick
While out through the door and into the snow ran the Kid, like a
clappy dick.

Now you ask me who shot Dan McGrew but I've gotta keep true to a vow
For Dangerous Dan used to fuck Lou but It's me who's fucking her now.
And if you should come to Alaska and pass by Malemute
You'll find me there in the bar drinking, or next door having a root.

Now this is the end of me story, & I'll tell you, so help me, it's true
And bugger me promise and also me vow, and fuck Dangerous Dan McGrew.
- 13 -

Dark And Dreamy Eyes
A few old whores of Portsmith town,
Were drinking Spanish wine,
The gist of the conversation was,
"'Is your cunt bigger than mine."

Then up there spake the fisherman's wife,
And she was dressed in black,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had a fishing smack,
Sne had a fishing smack, my boys
The sodlings and the dabs,
And in the other corner
Sue'd a shocking dose of crabs.

CHORUS: She had those dark and dreamy eyes,
And a Whizz-bang up her jacksay,
She was one of the flash-eyed whores,
One of the old brigade.

Then wp there spake the brewer's wife,
And she was dressed in grey,
And in one corner o± her funny little thing,
She had a brewer's dray,
She had the brewer's dray, my boys,
A thing just like a truck,
And in the other corner,
She'd she remains of last night's fuck,

Then up there spake the sailor's wife,
And she was dressed in blue,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had a 3ife-boat's crew,
She had a life-boat's crew, my boys,
The rowlocks and the oars.
4nd in the other corner,
The Marines were forming fours.

Then up there spake the cricketer's wife,
And she was dressed in vermillion,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had the Loards Pavilion,
She had the Lords Pavilion, boys
A social sort of joint,
And in the other corner,
There was Hobbs at cover point.

Then up there spake the barman's wife,
And she was dressed in yellow,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had the whole wine cellar,
She had the whole wine cellar, boys,
ffith barrels full of beer.
- 14 -

Dark And DrearayJEyes
And in the other corner,
She had Pox and Gonorrhea,

Then up there spake the airman's wife,
And she was dressed in beige,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had Handiy-Page,
Slr>e had Handly-jpage, my boys,
With a joy stick and its knob,
And in the other corner,
Were two airmen on the job.

Then up there spake the actor's wife,
Who was also dressed in beige,
Acd in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had the Windmill stage,
She had the Windmill stage, my boys,
The gallery and the stalls,
And in the other corner
She had C.B. Cochrane's balls,

And then up spake the pilot's wife,
And she was dressed in chrome,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had the aerodrome,
She had the aerodrome, my boys,
The bombers and the troops,
And in the other corner
There Sfimpys Looping loops.

Then up there spake the ops room girl,
She was a little WAAF,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had the Ops room staff,
She had the Ops room staff, my boys,
All fucking there like hell,
And in the other corner,
She'd had the signals staff as well,

And then up spake the telephone girl
And she was dressed very strange,
And in one corner of her funny little thing,
She had a camp exchange,
She had a camp exchange, my boys,
The wires and all the switches,
And in the other corner,
The CO'd left his britches.
- 15 -

floodle-Lee-Do

Please sing to me that sweet melody
Called Doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
I like the rest, but the part I like best
Is doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
Simplest thing, there isn't much to it
All you got to do is doodle-lee-doo it
I love it so, whereever I go
I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo

Two little ]overs, under the covers
What*11 they do, doodle-lee-doo
I would suggest that they should undress
And doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
Cherries are red, ready for plucking
I'm sixteen and I'm ready for high school
I love it so whereever I go
I doodle-lee-doo

Please do to me what you did to Marie
Last Saturday night, Saturday night
It must have been real, cause I heard Marie squeal
Last Saturday night, Saturday night
Don't know what, what you were doing
Someone said you were doodle-lee-dooing
I love it so, whereever I go
I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo

Miss Emma Snow went out on a show
Called doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
She made a hit just playing her bit
In doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
Twenty-four hours, that's all there was to it
How in this world did she doodle-lee-doo it
She got a Rolls Royce, but not by her voice
But doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo

Pon't Send Me To Hanoi

Tune: Winchester Cathedral

Don't send me to Hanoi.
Please, don't put my name down.
The shooting is bad there.
Don't send me downtown.

The bridges at BacGiang,
More milling around.
Another Brown Anchor,
I think I'll leave town.

Don't send to Yen Bay
I don't like that much flak.
- 16 -

It takes too much damn gas
To bring my ass back.

Don't send me to Dong Hoi,
I don't want to get none,
Those BOT support missions,
They make my ass numb.

Just send me on milk runs,
Where there are no big guns.
I just want to fly where
It's easy on my bear.

Down In The Valley

The first time I saw her "she was all dressed in white,
All in white, all in white, my God, her cunt was -tight,
Down in the valley, where she followed me.

The next time I saw her she was all dressed in brown^
All in brown, all in brown, I took her nickers dow»y
Down in the valley where she followed me.

The next time I saw her she was all dressed in green,
All in green, all in green, I filled her soup tureen,
Down in the valley where she followed me.

The next time I saw her she was all dressed in fawn,
All in fawn, all in fawn, two little bastards born,
Down in the valley where she followed me.

The next time I saw her she was all dressed in red,
All in red, all in red, two little bastards dead,
Down in the valley where she followed me.

The next time I saw her she was all dressed in black,
All in black, all in black, boards nailed across
her crack,
Down in the valley where she followed me.

Father's Grave

They're digging up Father's grave to build a seWer,
They1re digging it up regardless of expense,
They're shifting his remains,
To put in ten inch drains,
To take away the shit from residents.
Gor, Blimey
What*s the use of having a religion,
If when you die your troubles never cease,
All because some big nosed twit
Wants a pipe line for his shit,
Why won't they let the poor guy rest in peace.
Gor, Blimey
- 17 -

But father in his life ?a? ne'er a quitter,
i don't suppose faesll be a quitter now,
And when the job's complete
He'li haunt the shit'nouse seat,
And only let them shit when hesll allow.
Gor, Blimey
Wonst there be some fucking constipation,
And won't those shit-bound bastards rant and rave,
But they'll get what they deserve
For having the bleeding nerve,
To fuck about with a British workman's grave.

Pishes to&n Song

Oh fisherman, fisherman, I know you very well,
Have you any seacrabs you would xike to sell?

CHORUS: Singing dingle-eye, dingle-eye, dee.

Oh yes. Oh yes, 1 have one, two, three,
Very fine seacrabs I would sell to thee. ........... .CHORDS

So I prabbed that seacrab by the back bone,
And I lugged and I tugged and I pulled the bastard home. . . . .CHORUS

Well I put bJm in the piss pot just to keep,
And my wife she rose up from her sleep. ............ CHORUS

My wife sat down to do her duty too,
And the Goddamn seacrab grabbed her by the flue.......„ .CHORUS

Oh John, Oh John, as sure as you're born,
There's a devil in the piss pot, got me by the horn. ..... .CHORUS

Well wife, dear wife, just try to fart,
And you'll blow that seacrab all apart. ............ CHORUS

Well she tried and she tried but she couldn't fart a bit,
And she filled that seacrab1s face full of shit. ... .....CHORUS

Now, mother with the poker apd I with the broom,
We chased that seacrab all around the room.......... . CHORUS

Now, that's my story and there is no more,
There's an apple in the barrel and you can have the core. . . . CHORUS
- 18 -

Fighter Pilots
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in bell
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell
Oh that place is full of queers, navigators,
bombardiers
But there are no fighter pilots down in hell

Oh there are no fighter pixots an the states
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states
They are off on foreign shores, making mothers
out of whores
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states

Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
They are all across the bay, getting shot
at every day
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan

Oh there are no fighter pilots in the fray
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the fray
They are all in USO's wearing ribbond,
fancy clothes
Ch there are no fighter pilots in the 1'ray

Oh. the bomber pilot's life is just a farce
Oh the bomber piloc's life is just a farce
The automatic pilot's on, reading novels in
the john
Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce

Oh the bomber piJofc never takes a dare
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
His gyros are uncaged, and his wc«men overaged
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare

Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing
The place is full of brass, sitting round
on their fat ass
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing.

Oh it's naughty naughty naughty but it's nice
If you ever do it once you'll do it twice
It'll wreck your reputation, but increase
the population
Oh it's naughty naughty naughty, but it's nice

Oh look at the 388th in the club
Oh look at the 388th in the club
They don't party, they won't sing,
355th does everything
Oh look at the 388th in the club
19 -

When a bomber jockey walksointo our club
When a bomber jockey walks into our club
He don't drink his share of suds, all he
does is flub his dud
OH THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS DOWN IN HELL

Foggy, Foggy Dew

Oh, I am a bachelor, I live all alone
I work at the weaver's trade
and the only, only thing that I ever did wrong
was to woo a fair young maid.
I wooed her in the summer time
part of the winter too,
And the only, only thing that I ever did wrong
Was to shield her from the foggy, foggy dew.

One night she came to my bedside
As I lay fast asleep,
This pretty, pretty maid
Knelt by my bedside
And there she began to weep.
She wept, she cried
She damn near died
Alas, what could I do
So I took her into bed
And covered up her head
Just to shield her from the foggy, foggy dew.

Now a year has gone by
Still a bachelor am I.
And I work at the weaver's trade
Comes a-knocking at my door
It's a voice I've heard before,
It's the voice of the fair young maid.
She handed me a little one
She said, "What can I do"?
So I took him into bed
Just to cover up his head
Just to shield him from the foggy, foggy dew.

Now I am a bachelor, I live with my son
We work at the weaver's trade
And every, every time I look into his eyes
He reminds me of the fair young mfcid.
He reminds me of the winter time,
Part of the summer too.
Of the many, many times that I .gnzfd into her eyes
to shield her from the foggy. £"oggy dew.
- 20 -

Frigging In The Rigging
Board the good ship \Tenus
My God you should have seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed,
And the mast a rampant penip

Chorus:
Friggin in the riggin, friggin in the riggin
Friggin in the riggin, There's fuck all else
to do.

The captain of his ligger
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another

The first mate's name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon,
Ten times a day he used to play
Upon his sexual organ

The Second Mate's name was Andy
He was so young and randy
They boiled his bun in steaming rum
For coming in the brandy

The Midshipman's name was Nipper
He was a dirty ripper
He Tilled his ass with brDken glass
to circumcise the skipper

The Captain's wife was Mable
When ever she was able
She'd fornicate with the Second Mate
Upon the gallery table

The Captain hat5 a daughter
Who fell into the water,
Delighted squeals revealed that eels
Had found her sexual quarter.
- 21 -

Fniricnle, Funieala

Last nite, 2 stayed up late, to masterbate
It felt so good, I knew it would
Last I stayed up late, to beat my meat
It felt so nice, I did it twice,

You should really see me on the short strokes
It feels so grand, I use my hand
You must really catch me on the long strokes
It feels so neat, I use my feet

Shake it, break it, beat it on the floor
Smash it, bash it, thrust it through the door
Some people seem to think that g _______ grand
But for all around enjoyment I prefer fo~use my hand.

Gonm'a Tie My Peter To A Tyee

I fucked her standing, I fucked her lying
If she had wings, I'd fuck her flying
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree, to a tree
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree.

I awoke in the morning and guess what I saw
Fifteen chancers and a big blue ball
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree, to a tree
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree.

I went to a doctor because my pecker was sore
My God said the doctor you have been taken by a whore
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree, to a tree
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree.

And now you can see I'm a peckerless man
I fuckem with my finger and foolem when I can
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree, to a tree
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree.

Now the last time I saw her and I haven't seen her since
She was jacking off a doggie thru a barb wire fence
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree, to a tree
Gonna tie my Peter to a tree.
- 22 -

Here's To The Regular Air Force

Here's to the regular Air Force
"hey have suph a wonderful plan
They call up the fucking reservists
Whenever the shit hits' the fan!

They call up every old pilot
They call up every young man
The reservists, they go to Korea
The regulars stay in Japan.

Here's to the regular Air Force
With medals and badges galore
If it weren't for the fucking reservist
Their ass would be dragging the floor!

CHORUS: Fight on, Fight on:
Fight on regular Air Force
Fight on, Fight on.
Hi Jiggy Jiggy

(Chorus)

Hi jiggy jiggy, fuck-a-little-piggy sideways.

HUNCH! HUNCH!

My idea of a lady is a big fat whore,

FUCK STICK!

SHIT BANG!

Ten dollars you pay, for a bang up each way,

And a tune on a Spanish guitar.

Plink - plink - plink.
- 23 -

Horse Shit
There was a pilot of great renown,
There was a pilot of great renown,
There was a pilot of great renown,
Until he fucked a girl from our town—
Fucked a girl from our town—
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit.

He laid her in a feather bed,
He laid her in a feather bed,
He laid her in a feather bed,
and then he twisted out her maidenhead,
Twisted out her maidenhead—
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit.

He laid her on a winding stair,
He laid her on a winding stair,
He laid her on a winding stair,
and-then-he shoved it in clear up to there—
Shoved it in clear up to there—
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Eo, Horse Shit.

He laid her down beside a stump,
He laid her down beside a stump,
He laid her down beside a stump,
and-then-he missed her cunt and split
the stump—
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit.

He laid her down beside a pond,
He laid her dotra beside a pond,
3e laid her down beside a pond,
and-thett-he fucked her with his magic ©and,
lucked her with his magic wand--
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit.

He laid hsr on the dewey grass,
He laid her on the dewey grass,
He laid her on the dewey grass,
and-then-he shoved the old boy up her ass,
Shoved the old boy up her ass-
da Ha Ha. Ho Ho Ho, Horise Shit
He took her to the countryside,
He took her to the countryside,
He took her to the countryside,
and-then-he fucked the girl until she died,
Fucked the girl until she died,
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit

He took her to the Burial Ground,
He took her to the Burial Ground,
He took her to the Burial Ground,
and-then-he thought he'd have another round,
Thought he'd have another round,
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit
- 24 -

I Love My Girl

I love my gal, yes I do, yes I do
I love her truly
I love the hole that she pisses thru
I love her ruby red lips,
Her lilly white tits
The hairs around her ass hole
I'd eat her shit, chomp, chomp,
Gobble, Gobble with a wooden spoon.

I Used To Work In Chicago

I used to work in Chicago, in a department storn
I used to work in Chicago, I did but I don't
any more
A lady came in, she asked for a hat
I asked her what kind she wanted
Felt she said, so felt her I did
I did, but I don't work there any more.

Cake-layer

Lamp-Floor

Food-Pet

Birds-Love

Glue-Paste

Scarf-Neck

Cream-Massage

Girdle-Rubber

Razor-Injector
- 25 -

I Wanted Wings
(S.E.A. Version)

I've been alive
Twenty years, plus four or five,
Aad I've tried many a pursuit.
I went to pilot school,
Learned the ropes and learned the rules,
And got my -wings and my blue suit.

And then I went to get upgraded
And like a fool I made it.
Then they made me number four,
And then they sent me off to war,
Buster.
I wanted wings.
Till I got the goddamn things;
Now I don't want them anymore.

The Republic Thunderchief
Is just twenty tons of grief.
The dirty sons-of-bitches
Filled it with three-hundred switches.
Buster.
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things?
Now I don't want them anyaore.

To keep my body alive
They .taught me to survive
At a place nestled in the hills.
They fed me procupine,
And other goodies fine;
Pemmican to cure all my ills.

And in three weeks I had made it.
They said I'd graduated.
"Sell, buddy, if that's livin'
/ think that I'll just give in,
Buster.
1 *7*vB;t3d wings
Till Z got the goddamn things;
lioirf 1 ion'' t want theia anymore.

Toy can have your Sie^man i raining
!"3 dig snos, ant! whaa it's raiding„
I'd rather be a weenie
Wi.cn my tootie mod martini,
Suster.
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things;
Now 1 don't want them anymore.
- 26 -

I Wanted Wings
I don't want to stay,
But I cannot get away.
In Hanoi they all love parades.
Each day we take a wslk
Through Hanoi Central Park,
Not dressed in style, I'm afraid.

Oh, those little yellow mammas
Dressed us all in black pajamas,
Spectators, they just sit there,
Sometimes throw rocks, sometimes spit there.
Buster.
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things;
Now I don't want them anymore.

You can have your 105
I'd much rather stay alive.
The lousy afterburner
Gets you north just that much sooner,
Buster.
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things;
Now I don't want them anymore.

These lines are in jest;
Thud drivers are the best,
At flying 'n chasing women, too.
The gooJs they deliver
Are sure to make Ho shiver,
And wish to hell this war was through.

And for some it is all over,
They lie down beneath the clover,
JTor they did go down in flames,
But we will not forget their names,
Buster.
They wanted wings
And they've truly got their wiigs,
And they will wear them evermore.

For there are no regulations
For those heaven-bound formations,
If they don't like it, well
They can splat-S down to Hell,
Buster.
Thej' '"anted wings
And they've truly got their wings.
And they will wear them evermore.
- 27 -

In Fourteen Hundred Ninety Two

In Fourteen Hundred Ninety Two
A Diego from I Tal' y
Roamed the streets of old Madrid
and pissed in every alley.
All night longy From midnight on.

He went before the Queen of Spain
And asked for ships and cargo.
He said I'll kiSS your royal ass
If I don't bring back Chicago.
All night long. From midnight on.

Three ships sailed out from Spain
One day - the lead ship's name was Venus.
The figurehead was a whore in bed and the
mast was an upright penis.
All night long. From midnight on.

Three ships sailed out from Spain one day
One was a double decker.
The queen she waved her handkerchief
Colombo waved his pecker.
All night long. From midnight on.

Colombo had a cabin boy
His name was Jackie Cooper
and all night long by the pale moonlight
he'd shove it up his pooper.
All night long. From midnight on.

That cabin boy, that cabin boy
That dirty little nipper.
He lined his ass with broken glass
and circumcised the skipper.
All night long. From midnight on.

For 40 days and 40 nights they sailed the broad Atlantic.
Once on the shore they spied a whore and the whole
damned crew got frantic.
All night long. From midnight on.

He screwed her once, he screwed her twice
He screwed her once too often.
He broke the main spring in her ass
and now she's in her coffin.
All night long. From midnight on.
- 28 -

In Mobile
There's a shortage of whores in Mobile,
There's a shortage of good whores in Mobile,
There's a shortage of good whores in Mobile,
But there's keyholes in the doors
And there's knot-holes in the.floors, in Mobile.

There's a blockage in the bogs, in Mobile, (3 times)
It's a habit of the working classes,
When they've finished with their glasses,
They just stuff them up their arses, in Mobile.

Oh, the old dun cow is dead, in Mobile (3 times)
But the children must be fed,
So we'll milk the bull instead, in Mobile.

Oh, the eagles they fly high, in Mobile (3 times)
And they shit 'right in your eye
So thank God the cows don't fly, in Mobile.

Oh, the negroes they grow tall, in Mobile (3 times)
But they shoot them in the fall,
And they eat *em balls and all, in Mobile.

Oh, the parson he has come, in Mobile (3 times)
With his words of kingdom come,
He can stuff 'em up his bum, in Mobile.

There's a shortage of good beer, in Mobile (3 times)
And they give us damn good cheer,
Oh, thank Good that we are here, in Mobile.

There's a lovely girl called Dinah, in Mobile, (3 times)
For a fuck there is no finer,
'Cause she's got the best Vagina, in Mobile.

There's a man called Lanky Danny, in Mobile, (3 times)
And his instinct is uncanny
When he's fingering a fanny, in Mobile.

There's a tavern in the town, in Mobile, (3 times)
Where for half a fucking crown
"You can fuck 'em upside down."

Oh, the girls all wear tin pants, in Mobile (3 times)
But they take them off to dance
Just to give the boys a chance, in Mobile

There's excess of copulation, in Mobile, (3 times)
They relax for stimulation
On mutual masterbation, in Mobile.

The CO is a bugger, in Mobile, (3 times)
And the adj, he is another
So they bugger one another, in Mobile.

- 29 -

Into The Air 69ers
Into the air 69ers, into the air upside down
Into the air 69ers, set your sights and let's
go down, we'll all go down.
And when we see those bastard Commies
And when we make them shit a pound,
you can bet those 69ers, are all going down.

Into the air 69ers, into the air on your back
'"soisante-neuf "
We'll blast those MIGS, 69ers
And watch tneir ass go Poof, Poof, Poof
And when you see those "golf balls" flying
And the flak begins to blast,
You can bet the 68ers
Will *>ite 'em in the ass!

It Was The Good Ship Venns

It was the good ship Venus
My God you should have seen us
Her figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast a flaming penis.

CHORUS: Friggin8 in the Riggin'
Friggin' in the Riggin'
Friggin"'in the Riggin'
There's fuck all else to do.

The first Mate's name was Cosferus
He had a prick of Phosphorus
It was used at nite as a navigation lite
While sailing thru the Bosphoras, CHORUS

The cabin boy, his name was Roy
My God he was a nipper
He lined his ass with broken glass
and circumcised the Skipper. CHORUS

The Captain loved the First Mate
He loved him like a brother
And every nite by the binacle lite
They'd cornhole one another. CHORUS

The Engineer was really queer
He had one single notion
He'd climb the mast, stick out his ass
And piss upon the Bosun. CHORUS

The Captains daughter Aughter
Fell into the water
The sound of the squeals, denoted eels
Had found her sexual quarter. CHORUS
- 30 -

The Captains wife was Mable
Unwilling and unable
Those dirty shits - They nailed her tits
To the hardwood galley table. CHOMJS

It's The Poor What Gets The Blame

Life presents a doleful picture,
All is silent as the tomb,.
Father has a painful stricture,
Mother has a fallwn womb.

CHORUS: Hits the rich what gets the blessing's
Hits the poor what gets the blam
Hits the saiae the whole world over
Ain't it all a fucking shame.

She was poor but she was honest;
Victim of a rich man's whim.
Whew she met that Christian gentleman,
And she had a child by him........... . .CHOEUS

Now he sits in the House of Parliament,
Making laws for all mankind,
While she walks the streets of London,
Selling chunks of her behind. ..... ..... .CHORUS

In a rose embowered cottage,
There was born a child of sin.
The little bastard had no pappy
So she gently did him in. ........... . .CHORUS

Ivan Skavinski Skavar

Oh the harems of Egypt are fair to behold
And the maidens the fairest of fair
The fairest a Greek, was owned by a Shiek
One Abdul Abulbul Amir

A travelling brothel was brought into town
By a Russian who came from afar
And a challenge went wide as to who could outride
Count Ivan Skavinski Skavar

Now Abdul rode by with his hand on his fly
And his balls hanging low with desire
And he wagered a million that he could outride
Count Ivan Skavinski Skavar

So this spectacle great was all set for a date
T'was to be refereed by the Czar
And the streets were all lined
To see harlots entwined
With abdul and Ivan Skavar
- 31 -

They met at the track with their tools aangiag slack
And the starters gun punctured the air
They were qu-.ck on the rise
People gasped at the size
Of Ivan Skavinskl Skavar

The cunts were all shorn and no rubbers were worn
And Abdul revved up like a car
But he hadn't a hope against the greasy stroke
Of Ivan Skavinski Skavar

Now when ivan had won and was cleaning his gun
He bent down to pick up nis bair
TVhen something red hot up his read track was shot
And Abdul the Bastard was there.

Tnen th harlots all screamed and the people yelled "Queen*
They were ordered apart- by the Czar
But so fast they were stuck it was fucking bad luck
For Abdu] and Ivan Skavar.

Tha cream of the joke at last they were broke
It was laughed at for years by the Czar
For Abdul the fool, had left half his tool
In Ivan Skavinski Skavar.

Jolly_ Jolly England^

Oh, I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want to go to war.
I just want to hang around Piccadilly on the ground,
Livfn* off the earnings of me high class lady.
Monday I touched her on the ankle,
Tuesday I touched her on the knee.
Wednesday success; I lifted up her dress,
Thursday her chemisey I did see.
Now, Friday I put my hand upon it,
Saturday she gave me balls a tweak,
It was Sunday after supper I shoved the old Doy upser,
And now she earns me seven and six a week, Gor'bliwey!
I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want to go to war,
I just want to hang around Piccadilly on the ground,
Livin' off the earnings of me high class lady,
I don't want me bollicks shot away.
I just want to stay in England, in jolly, jolly, England,
And fornicate me blooming life away.
- 32 -

Kathusalem
In the days of old there lived a maid
Who often plied a roaring trade
A prostitute of ill repute
The harlot of Jerusalem.

CHORUS: Ki ko Kathusalem the harlot of Jerusalem
Hi ho the daughter of the Rabbi.

Kathusalem's snatch was bold and bare
Upon her gash there grew no hair
For hair won't grow on a throughfare
Like the snatch of old kathusalem. CHORUS

Kathusalem*s cunt was round and red
For forty years it had not bled
It smelled as though it had been dead
Since the founding of Jerusalem. CHORUS

Next door there lived a giant tall
His prick of steel could smash a wall
His balls hung down like basket balls
The giant of old Jerusalem. CHORUS

One day he challenged her to fuck
And wishing her good luck
He led her to a shady nook
And there unfurled his mighty hook. CHORUS

This giant of old was underslung
He missed her cunt and hit her bung
He knew it when he felt the dung
The dung of old Jerusalem. CHORUS

Kathuselem she knew her art
She held her breath and let a fart
She blew him like a bloody dart
Through the walls of old Jeruselem. CHORUS

Kotex Song

You can tell by the smell
That she isn't feeling well
When the end of the month rolls around
How she turns, how she squirms
How she gets a case of worms
When the end of the month rolls around.
For it's hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry
Super, Junior, Band Aid
For where ere you go
The blood will always flow
When the end of the month rolls around.
Keep 'em bleeding!
then the end of the month rolls around.

- 33 -

Little Angeline

She was sweet sixteen
She was the village queen
Pure and innocent
Was Angeline
She had never had a thrill
Was a virgin still
Poor little Angeline.

Mow the village squire
The squire was there
Masturbating on the village square.
When he chanced to see
The dainty knee
Of poor little Angeline.

So he raised his hat
And he said your cat
Has been ridden over
And is squashed quite flat
But it isn't too far
And I've got my car
Poor little Angeline.

Now they hadn't gone far
When he stopped the car
And he dragged her in the nearest bar
Where he filled her with gin
To tempt her to sin
Poor little Angeline.

When he filled her quite wela.
He dragged her to the dell
Where he attempted to give her hell
By trying his luck
At a low down fuck
With Poor little Angeline.

With a cry of rape
He raised her cape
Poor little girlie
There was no escape
Unless someone came
To save the name
Of Poor little Angeline.
- 34 -

Little Angeline

Now the blacksmith bold
Had a heart of gold
He'd been her lover
For year's untold
And he promised to be true
And faithful too
Poor little Angeline.

But sad to say
On the very same day
He'd been sent to jail to stay
For coming in his pants
At the local dance
With poor little Angeline.

Now the window of his cell
Overlooked the dell
Where the squire was giving her
And as they lay upon the grass
He recognized the ass
Of Poor little Angeline.

When he got to the spot
And he saw what was what
He tied the villians penis in a
And as he lay upon his guts
He got a knee kick in the nuts
From Poor little Angeline.

Oh Blacksmith bold
I love you true
And I can tell by your trousers
That you love me too
And as I'm all undressed
You had better do the rest
Said Poor little Angeline.

Now it won't be wrong
To end this song
For the blacksmith's penis
It was one foot long
And his flailing charm
Was thicker than your arm
Lucky little Angeline.

Lape

Down in cunt valley, where blood river flows,
Where whoremongers flourish and cocksuckers grow,
Twas there I met Lupe, the girl I adore,
She's my hot fucking, cocksucking Mexican whore.

She got her first piece at the young age of 8
While swinging one day on the old garden gate.
The crossbar went out and the upright went in,
Ever since she has lived in a welter of sin.

She'll hug you, she'll fuck you, she'll gDaw at your nuts,
She'll wrap her legs round you and suck out your guts,
She'll wrap her legs round you till you think you'll die.
OH, I'D RATHER EAT LUPE THAN BLUEBERRY PIE.

Lupe, poor Lupe, lies dead in her tomb,
The worms crawl out of her decomposed womb.
And the smile on her face is a mute cry 'for more,
She's mv hot fucking, cocksucking Mexican whore.

Mary Anne Burns

Mary Anne Burns was queen of all the acrobats,
She could do tricks that would give the cats the shits.
She could blow green peas out her fundamental orfice
Do a somersault and catch them on her tits,
She's a great big son of a bitch, twice the size of me,
She's got hairs on her ass like the branches of a tree
She can swim, fish, fight, fuck, roll a barrell, drive a truck,
She's the kind of girl that's going to marry me,
MY BLOODY ASS!

Monk Of Great Renown

There was a Monk of great renown
There was a Monk of great renown
Who boogered all the women in London town
The old sot, that dirty old sot
The bastard deserves to die
Oh shit, let us pray
Glory, Glory, Hallelujia

Eis brother Monks to stop his frolics
His brother Monks to stop his frolics
Took a great knife and cut off his bcllicks
The bastard deserves to die
Oh shit, let us pray
Glory, Glory, Hallelujia

And now deprived of ail desire
And now deprived of all desire
He sings soprano in the choir
- 38 -

The old sot, that dirty old sot
The bastard deserves to die
Oh shit, let us pray
Glory, Glory, Hallelujia

My Family

Have you met my Uncle Hector
He's a cock and ball inspector
At a celebrated English public school
And my brother sells French letters,
And a patent cure for wetters
We're not the best of familys, ain't it cruel?

My little sister Lily, is a whore on Piccadilly,
My mother is another on the Strand,
My father hawks his arse-hole
Round the Elephant and Castle,
We're the finest fucking family in the land.

There's a gentleman's convenience
A short way down the Strand,
And the Ladies is a little further on,
For a penny on deposit, you can sit upon the closet
But a season's ticket costs vou half a crown.

My Grandfathers Cock

My Grandfather's cock was too long for his slacks
So it drug ninety years on the floor
It was longer by half than the old man himself
Though it weighted not a pennyweight more
It was found on the morn of the day that he was born
And was always his pleasure and pride
But it drooped, wilted, never to rise again
When the old man died
Ninety years without limbering
What a cock, what a cock!
His pieces of ass numbering
What a cock, what a cock!
But it drooped, wilted never to rise again
When the old man died
- 37 -

No Balls At All/

There once was a girl named Sara McFox,
With hair on her chest and cheese in her box.
She married a man named Patrick Mcall, with
a very short peter and no balls at all!

CHORUS: What! No balls at all?
No! No balls at all!
A very short Peter and no balls at all!

The very first night that they were wed,
They took off their clothes and went straight to bed-
She reached for his pecker; it was very small,
She reached for his balls; he had no balls at all*

CHORUS

Now, Mother, dear mother, Oh what shall I do?
I've married a man who never can screw.
I reached for his pecker; it was very small,
I readied for his balls, he had do balls at all!

CHORUS

Oh, daughter, deer daughter, now don't be so sad;
It was the same trouble I had with your Dad.
There's many a man who will come to the call,
of the wife of the man who has no balls at all!

CHORUS

The daughter went home, took the mothers advise,
and found the result most exceedingly nice.
A bouncing young baby was born in the fall,
to the wife of the man who had no balls at all!

CHORUS
- 38 -

Ode To A Great Fackin' Sar Effort

(With apologies to "the Night Before Xmas")

One fine day, just last summer
('twas prior to a raid)
The jocks were hung over-
from screwing the maid.

So with canopies open
and heads hung in grief
Their sorrows were many
Their crew rest too brief;

The mission commander
By some marvelous feat
Got them all to the Anchor ■—
Cycled through, then did meet

With those beautiful Thuds
spread in "pod" - Quite a force!
The Phantoms moved in
Like the old Trojan Horse.

The MIGs had been scrambled,
Were headed out east,
But the gunners are hosing
Eighty-fives at our beast!

"Why the hell should they hate me?"
I cried in dismay,
"I'm egressing, you bastards,
So play it my way!"

But my cry went unheeded
As our bird took a hit;
And 1 know there and then
Things had just turned to shit.

Tho* my chances were nil
There was fuck else to do
But head for the Black
with our whole fuckin" crew!

So in anger, and pissed,
Did we drop the whole load
On the cock-suckin* gunner's
Kids, wife and abode!

There was no goddamn grief
As I cried out with glee
"Eat your heart out, you bitch,
For you*"ll never get me!"
- 39 -

So with eighty per cent
(that was all we could get)
We headed for North Point
With hopes of a TET.

But "twas mostly in vain
As we swung past the Red -
I knew that my ass
Was fuckin' near dead.

Cause Yen Bay came alive
Like the Fourth of July!
The flak was so thick
That I wanted to cry

As my two three and four
Broke down, left, then right -
Leaving us solo
In the dwindling light.

"Well ol* buddy," my number one
GIB says to me,
"it looks like there's just
Gonna be me and thee."

"And with your goddamn luck"
We should punch out at ten -
so the rest of the fall
We can take with a grin.

For I just know goddamn well
As I sit here in fright
That both fuckin' chutes
Were packed wrong last night!

"And I want you to know"
He hastened to add,
That in case we don't make it -
Please don't get mad!

It isn't my fault
That the pod didn't work -
I told you that twice,
you dumb fuckin" jerk!

A tank didn't feed;
The doppler was short;
(you said) we'll get our counter -
No matter what!

"Well, you've got your first counter -
It may be the last
Unless this old whore
Can take one more blast!"
- 40 -

Shut your trap, and eject!
Was the word of the day;
So we punched, not at ten,
But it two, so they say........

O'reiUy's Daughter

As I was sitting in O'Reilly's bar
Listening to the tales of blood and slaughter,
Came a thought into my mind —
Why not shag O'Reilly's daughter?

CHORUS: Fiddley-I-Eeee, Fiddley-I-Oh,
Fiddley-I-Eeee, for the one-ball Reilly;
Rig Jig Jig, Balls and all
Rub a dub bub Shag all!

I grabbed that she-bitch by the ass,
Then I threw my left leg over,
Shagged and shagged and shagged some more,
Shagged until the fun was over. ............. .CHORUS

There came a knock upon the door;
Who should it be tout her Goddamn father?
Two horse pistols in his hand,
Looking for the guy that shagged his daughter...... .CHORUS

I grabbed that bastard by the balls,
Shoved his head in a pail of water,
Shoved those pistols up his ass,
A damn sight further than I shagged his daughter. .... .CHORUS

As I go walking down the street,
People shout from every corner,
"There goes---the son of a bitch,
The guy that shagged O'Reilly's daughter!"........ .CHORUS
Oar Outhouse

Please don't burn our shit-house down,
Mother has promised to pay
Father's away on the ocean wave,
Kate's in the family way,
Brother, de*ar has gonorrhea,
Times is fucking hard,
So please don't burn our shit-house down,
Or we'll have to shit in the yard.
- 41 -

Phan Rang Blues

Let ae tell you a tale of the South China Sea;
Of a base known as Phan Rang where whiskey flows free.
It's called Happy Valley by those in command -
It's really the cess-pool of South Vietnam.

There's fuck-all to do so you drink, sleep and fly,
The food ain't worth eating so very few try.
And the 35th Wing, which rules all alone
Is as fucked-up as anything you've ever known.

What a horrible base,
It's a fucking disgrace.
The water supplied us is all full of grit
It smells like a garbage can stuffed full of shit.
What a horrible base.

We've been infiltrated by Training Command
They're not fighter pilots, they don't understand.
We're so regulated whenever we fly
That Mustang will even decide how you die.

Ton don't make decisions, we have something new
Theysre called Instant Experts who know what to do.
They get sixty-hours at Cannon or Luke
And their stupid instructions make fighter jocks puke.

I have been here to long -
I can't tell right from wrong.
This base ain't worth saving, it's so fucking bad
The worst damn assignment that I've e^er J>art
I have been here too long.

- 42 -

We get lots of screwing but never with' Im-;
The fucking we get is passed down from abow©,
We arenst allowed aero or rat-racing here
The flying we do is a shitty affair.
It's straight to the target, then straight back to base
To bank more than thirty degrees means disgrace.
You're grounded and pounded down into the grit
And the whole base is told you're a .dumb fucking shit.
Give Phan Rang to the Cong,
Here is where they belong.
If I ever leave here I'm not coming back
I'm sure there are less rules to live by in-'SAC.
Give Phan Sang to the Cong.
The poor Base Commander is losing his mind
And with both hands searching, his ass he can't find.
He's taken up drinking, his nerves are all shot
The coffee is cold and the Kool-Aid is hot.
The fuel farm is leaking, the water tanks too
If we're hit by mortars this damn base is through.
No one can defend us, we all live in fear
That we won't survive to go home in a year.
Why the hell are we here?
Living on whiskey and beer
The 35th Wing had such poor B„D.A„
They sent in the Aussie's to show them the way.
Why the hell are we here?
- 43 -

Pilots Always Eat Pnssy
There once were three men from Birmingham
And this is the story concerning them.
They lifted the frock and tickled the cock of the Bishop
While he was confirming them.

CHOHUS: Ay Ay Ay Ay
Pilots always eat Pussy
So sing us another verse
That's worse then the other verse
So waltz me around again Willie

Now the Bishop was nobody's fool
He'd attended a large public school
So he pulled down his britches and buggered those bitches
With his ten inch Episcopal tool

There once was a girl from Azores,
Whose body was covered with sores
The dogs in the street would not eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers.

There once was a girl named Annie,
Who buggered an ape in a tree,
The result was horrid, all ass and no forid,
Three balls and a purple goatee.

There once was a girl named Alice,
Who used a dynamite stick for a fallice,
They found hei- vagina in North Carolina,
And part of her asshole in Dallas.

There once was a young man from Boston,
Who bought a very small Austin,
There was room for his ass and a gallon of gas
But his balls hung out and he lost them.

There was a young man from Bombay,
Who molded a cunt out of clay,
But the heat of his prick turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away.

There was a young hermit named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave,
He said "'I'll be the first to admin, that I'm a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save.

There was a young man named Cass,
Whose balls were made of spun glass
When they clanked together, they played stormy weather
And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a girl from France,
-44-

Who boarded a train by chance,
The engineer fucked her, so did the conducter,
And the brakeman went off in his pants.

There once was a girl named Gail,
Between her tits was the price of her tail,
And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

There was once an old lady from Wheeling,
Who had a peculiar feeling,
She would lay on her back, and tickle her crack,
And piss all over the ceiling.

There was an old man from Kent
Whose prick was so long it bent,
To save himself trouble he put it in double,
And instead of coming he went.

There was an old maid from Whooster,
Who dreampt that a man had seduced her,
But when she awoke it was only a joke,
A spring in the bed had goosed her.

There was a young girl from Peru,
Who said as the Bishop withdrew,
The Vical is quicker, he's also a licker,
And considerably thicker than you.

There was a young man from St. Clair,
Who boogered his wife on the stair,
The banister broke so he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in the air.

There once was a lesbian named June
fffao took a young queer to ber room
They argued all night as to who had the right
to do what, and with which, to whom.

There once was a young girl named Myrtle.
Who was raped on the bench by a turtle,
The result of the fuck, was two eggs and a duck,
Which proved that the turtle was fertile.

There was a mathematician named Hall,
Who had a hexahydronical ball,
The cube of it's weight, times his pecker plus eight
Was 4/8 of 5/8 of fuck all.
- 45 -

Prang 'Em AH
There's a courier leaving old Atchem today
It's bound for Wharton they say
Heavily laden with browned-off young men
All hoping for posting some day.
They all think they're ops types
They're keen as can be
To get a Fooke Wulf in their sights
They're experts at groaning
At pissing and moaning
And everyone just loves to gripe

Prang 'em all, prang 'em all
The needle, the airspeed, the ball
Prang the instructors who taught us to fly
They sent us up solo and left us to die
And if ever your aircraft should stall
You're in for one Hell of a fall
No lillies or violets for dead fighter pilots
So cheer up my lads, Prang 'em all.

Prang *em all, Prang 'em all
As into the cockpit you crawl
Prang all the harness that fastens you in
Then prang that damn Wasp and it's bastardly din.
For you loop and you roll and you dive
Until you're more dead than alive
No future in flying unless you like dying
So cheer up my lads, prang 'em all.

Prang 'em all, Prang 'em all
No more free mistakes they all bawl
Close up the range, shove it up Jerries ass
Then press the old tit, fill his guts full of gas
For we've studied each morn, noon and night
How the hardest damn part of the fight
Isn't flying and fighting, it's reading and writing
So cheer.up my lads, prang 'em all.

Prang 'em all, Prang 'em all
The Mustangs the T-bolts and all
Prang all the lightenings the spitfires as well
As for the Masters, they come straight from hell
That abortion-like son of a bitch
You can shove up your ass in fine pitch
All fabric and plywood, it's no fucking damn good
So cheer up my lads, prang 'em all.

Prang 'em all, Prang *em all
In a ditch or a hedge or a wall
Prang all the Masters, the Mustangs and 'Bolts
We'll give the boys down at AJax some jolts
If you're browned off just round off too high
- 46 -

Of aircraft we'll clear shropshires sky
We'll make some scrap metal to put in the kettle
So cheer up my lads, prang 'em all.

Pop Goes The Weasel

Around and around the SAM site
The missile chased the Weasel.
The Weasel got pissed, the SAM got zapped.
Pop goes the Weasel.

Willy Peter showed us where
To roll in to displease 'em
One more pass with HEI.
Pop goes the Weasel.

Lady fingers did their job,
Did more than just tease 'em.
The Russian Techs got all pissed off.
Pop goes the Weasel.

We look around for SAM sites.
We grab their balls and squeeze 'em.
They show their ass, we shoot it off.
Pop goes the Weasel.

Rio Rio Rio

Rio Rio Rio Rio, Lordy how I feel
Fresh from a whore house, Prick full of steel
That's my organ grinder.
Laid her in the* farther hall
Spread her ass from wall to wall
Shoved it up into her gall
With my old organ grinder.

Fucked her in her father's bed
Shoved it up into her head
Fucked that girl 'til she was dead
With my old organ grinder
Followed her to the burial ground
Just to go another round
Fucked as they lowered her down
With my old organ grinder.

Some folks said I am a knave, said I don't behave
Cause I jacked-off on her grave
With my old organ grinder.
- 47 -

Ring Dang Doo

When I was young and sweet sixteen
I met a girl from New Orleans
Oh, she was young and pretty too
She had what you call a ring dang doo.

A ring dang doo; pray what is that?
It's soft and fuzzy like a pussy cat.
It's covered with fur and split in two
Tnat's what you call a ring dang doo.

She took me down into her cellar,
She told me I was a damn nice feller,
She gave me wine and whiskey too,
And let me play with her ring dang doo.

She took me up into her bed, and
She placed a pillow beneath my head.
And then she took my hicky-floo,
And placed it in her ring dang doo.

Her mother said you old damn fool
You've gone and broke the rule.
Now pack your bags and suitcase too,
And go to hell with your ring dang doo.

She moved to the city and became a shore,
And nailed this sign upon her door,
A dollar down or less will do
For the private use of my ring dang doo.

Now many came; and many went,
The price went do#n to fifty cents,
Then came a man I know aot •who,
But he sure played hell with her ring dang doo,

They hung her tits -a the city hall,
They pickled her ass in alchol,
Now all you pilots and airmen too,
You've heard my tale of the ring dang doo.
- 48 -

Roll Your Leg Over
I wish little girls were like little white rabbits,
And I were a buck and I'd teach them bad habits,
Oh roll the leg over, oh roll the leg over,
Oh roll the leg over the man in the moon.

I wish little girls were like waves in the ocean,
And I were the wind and I'd show them some motion.
Oh roll the leg over, oh roll the leg over
Oh roll the leg over the man in the moon.

I wish little girls were like flowers in the springtime,
And I were a bee and I'd pluck them all daytime.
Oh roll the leg over, oh roll the leg over
Oh roll the leg over the man in the moon.

I wish little girls were like sheep in the clover,
And I were a ram and I'd ram them all over.
Oh roll the leg over, oh roll the leg over,
Oh roll the leg over the man in the moon.

I wish little girls were like cows in the pasture,
And I were a bull and I'd make them run faster.
Oh roll the leg over, oh roll the leg over,
Oh roll the leg over the man in the moon.

Oh if all little girls were like fish in the ocean
And I were a whale I would teach them the motion.

Chorus: Oh roll your leg over, Oh roll your leg over
Oh roll your leg over the man in the moon.

Oh, If all little girls were like bells in the tower
And I were a clapper I'd bang by the hour.

Oh, If all little girls were like fish in the river
And I were a sandbar I'd sure make them quiver.

Oh, if all little girls were like sheep in the pasture
And I were a ram I'd make them run faster.

Oh, If all little girls were like little white rabbits
And I were a hare I would teach them bad habits.

Oh, if all little girls were like little red vixons
And I were a fox I surely would fix 'em.

Oh, if all little girls were like Hedy Lamarr
I'd try twice as hard to get twice as far.

Oh, if all little girls were like cows in the clover
And I were a bull I'd chase them all over.
- 49 -

Oh, if all little girls were like little white flowers
And I was a bee I would buzz them for hours.

Oh, if all little girls were like little white chickens
And I was a rooster I'd give them the dickens.

Oh, if all little girls were like little ole turtles
And I was a turtly I'd get in their girdles.

Oh, if all little girls were like Gypsy Eose Lee
And I were her G-string oh boy what I'd see.

Oh, if all little girls were like nurses who would
And I were a doctor I would if I could.

Oh, if all little girls were like bricks in £ pile
And I were a mason I'd lay them in style.

Oh, I wish that all girls were like fish in a pool
And I were a chap with a waterproof tool

If all little girls were like bats in the steeple
And I were a bat, There*d be more bats than people.

Oh, if all little girls were like diamonds and rubbies
And I were a jewler I'd polish their boobies.
Rqssiam National Anthem

Pissonya, Pissonya, Pissonya, Pissonya
In Russian that means that I love you.
If I had my way, I'd Pissonya all day
For in Russian that means that I love you.

CHORUS: Aie, Aie, Aie, Aie
I've got crabs in my moustache,
If I had my way I'd scratch them all day,
For I've got crabs in my moustache.

Shittonya, Shittonya, Shittonya, Shittonya
In Russian that means that we'll marry.
If I had my way I'd Shittonya all day,
Fox* in Russian that means that we'll marry.
CFORUS
Layonya, Layonya, Layonya, Layonya
In Russian that means we'll have children.
If I had my way I'd Layonya all day,
For in Russian that means we'll have children.
CHORUS
- 50 -

Sally la The AHey
Sailey in the alley, siftin' cinders
Lifted up her leg and farted like a
man
The wind from her bloomers broke six
Windows
The cfleeks of her ass went
Blam! Blcm! Blaml

(Everybody hits something with their
hands as you say Elans!)

Salome

Down our stieet vb Iw.d a little party
Everyone tnere wa& oa so hale and hearty
Talk about a treat
Raffle off the meat
And the booze all flowed down the street.

Old Pa Jim vas fair fucked up
Put him il the cellar with the old bull pap
Little S'i<nay Jim
Tryin' to get it in
t'ith his asshole winkin' at the moon.

She's a great big gal
She's twice the size of me
Got hairs on her belly like branches on a tree
She can run, jump, fighc, Caci,
Fly a plan, drive a truck,
That's my gal, Salome.

On Monday night she takes it up her crajk
Tuesday night she hauls in slack
Wednesday night she has a little spell
And Thursday night she fucks like hell
On Friday night she takes it up her nose,
In between her fingers
and dona between her toes.
Saturday night she has a little rest
And goes to Church on Sunday
Singing --- Jesus wants me for a sunbeam
And a fucking good sunbeam I will be.
- 51 -

Sammy Small (S. E. A. Style)

Oh come 'round us fighter pilots
Fuck 'em all
Oh come 'round us fighter pilots
Fuck 'em all,
Oh we fly the Dad Damn plane
Through the flak and through the rain
And tomorrow we'll do it again
So fuck 'em all.

Oh they tell us not to think
Fuck 'em all
Oh they tell us not to think
Fuck 'em all,
Oh they tell us not to think
Just to dive and just to jink
L.B.J.'s a God Damn fink
So fuck 'em all.

Oh we bombed Mugia pass
Fuck 'em all
Oh we bombed Mugia pass
Fuck 'em all
Oh we bombed Mugia pass
Though we only made one pass
They really stuck it up our ass
So fuck 'em all.

Oh we're on a J.C.S.,
Fuck 'em all
Oh we're on a J.C.S.
Fuck 'em all
Oh they sent the whole damn wing
Probably half of us will sing
What a silly fucking thing
So fuck 'em all.

Oh we lost our fucking way
Fuck 'em all
Oh we lost our fucking way
Fuck 'em all
Oh we straffed God Damn Hanoi
Killed every fucking girl and boy
What a God Damn fucking joy
So fuck 'em all
- 52 -

Jtmmy Small (S. E. A. Style)

Oh my bird got all shot up
Fuck 'em all
Oh my bird got all shot up
Fuck 'em all
Oh my bird it did get shot
And I'll probably cry a lot
But I think that it's shit hot
So fuck 'em all.

While I'm swinging in my chute
Fuck 'em all
While I'm swinging in my chute
Fuck 'em all
While I'm swinging in my chute
Comes this silly fucking toot
And hangs a medal on my root
So fuck 'em all.

Sammy Small

Oh my name is Sammy Small, fuck you all
Oh my name is Sammy Small, fuck you all
Oh my name is Sammy Small and I've only got one ball
But it's better than none at all, fuck you all.

Oh they say I killed a man, fuck you all
Oh they say I killed a man, fuck you all
Oh they say I killed him dead
with a piece of fucking lead
Now that silly bastard's dead, fuck you all.

Oh they say I'm gonna swing, fuck you all
Oh they say I'm gonna swing, fuck you all
Oh they say I'm gonna swing
from a piece of fucking string
What a silly fucking thing, fuck you all.

Oh they say I greased the rope, fuck you all.
Oh they say I greased the rope, fuck you all
Oh they say I greased the rope
with a piece of fucking soap
What a silly fucking joke, fuck you all.

Oh the parson he will come, fuck you all.
Oh the parson he will come, fuck you all
Oh the parson he will come
with his songs of kingdom come
He can shove 'em up his dung, fuck you all.

Oh the sheriff will be there too, fuck you all
Oh the sheriff will be there too, fuck you all
Oh the sheriff will be there too
- 53 -

i(Jf Ji-»s sxlly tucKing er-cw
Ik/ io %->■" iuck all else to do, fuck you all.

vSOHI")
J s»( Vol <f xn the < roisd fuck you al1
*■ s»y f'o ly in tbe crowd, fuck you all
1 sw Mo^ly in the rro»d
and sve J oktd so gaidamned proud
(fc-THOfGl,'. /
Ttr't I =5Lai led light out loud,
GO FOCK Y'»TJ ALL

Sia pouiuj of boobie<- in a loose brassier
An old «s«c ccndrum is a gla^a of beer
# i»st 'iat Uircb*>s like a aooses ear
Tiese *if tbe things X love

P Ujrty vttor^ siroMiaj, dowu tre street
A bloofy lo x .i tne ramblsseal
I Jove ny pooat«inf bu„ t beat ay acat
Thas^ »r< tne tmngs I love

Spanish jruita-

Op tit fxj-si port ox call i* was Aden, 4den
Wiiere th girls wouldn't screw b\it we md.de them

CHORIA Two dollars T p*y, foi a bang up each way
,*»k2 a tune on a Soanish gwar Pimk-plink-p] ink
ujng_iif, h^-ijgg>-Ziggy, fuck a little piggy
Sideuay*- 5tViSh-swifah
y'y j aed, oi a vomai is a Lig iat wl'ore
S'jt-oag, i?uck-fatick
T»o doiis,r= I oa^, for i bsn^ up each way
and a »une ud a Spanish Guitsi, Plank piirk-plink

Toe rsc *t p-it o* c.l it **% Boston, Boston
here I st i-p»ea a kxiI aamed Ausxin

Tbe xt port oi call it was Malta, Malta
Wheie g •> ^s wouldn't screw out they ought la
- 54 -

The Ball At Karried Mair

There was a ball, a bloody great ball
The ball at Karried Mair
Four and twenty whores
Came down from Avil Moor

CHORUS: Singing Hie di ye last night, Hie di ye noo
The man that did ye last night, canner do ye noo

Twas the gathering of the clan
And all the lads were there
A grafobin' all the lassies
and friggin' without a care
CHORUS

Oh there was friggin1 in the hay loft
and friggin' in the ricks
You couldna' hear the music for
The swishin' of the pricks
CHORUS

There was friggin' in the parlours
And friggin' on the stairs
You couldna' see the carpets for
The cunts and curly hairs
CHORUS

The elders of the Kirk were there
And they were shocked to see
Four and twenty maidenheads
A'Hangin5 from a tree
CHORUS

The village cobbler he was here
With his hammer and awls
A'Talkin* to his lady friends
And shbwin" off his balls
CHORUS

The farmers wife and she was there
Was A'Sittin* down in front
A ring of roses in her hair
And a carrot up her cunt

The village idiot he was there
A makin' like a fool
By pullin' his foreskin over his head
And whistling thru his tool
CHORUS

The King was in his counting house
Counting up his wealth
The queen was in her bedroom
A'diddlin* with herself
CHORUS

- 55 -

The bride was in the bedroom
Explaining to the groom
The vagina, not the rectum
Was the entrance to the womb
CHORUS

Plowin' Jock and he was there
The bugger wouldn't dance
Sittin5 with a hard on
And a'waitin' for his chance
CHORUS

The fiery Colonel he was there
He .fit amongst the Boers
He jumped upon the table
And he shouted for the whores
CHORUS

The village cripple he was there
He couldn't do very much
So he laid them on the carpet
And frigged them with his crutch
CHORUS

The vicars wife and she was there
She kept them all in fits
By jumpin' off the mantlepiece
And bouncin' on her tits
CHORUS

The village smithy he was there
He wouldn't play the game
He frigged a lassie fourteen times
Before he finally came
CHORUS

The village postman he was there
He had a dose of pox
He couldna* frig his lassie
So he frigged the letterbox
CHORUS

And when the ball was over
And the folk went home to rest
They said they enjoyed the music
But the friggin* was the best
CHORUS
- 56 -

The Bastard King Of England
Oh the ministrels sing of an English King
Of a thousand years ago
Who ruled the land with an iron hand
Though his mind was weak and low
He loved to hunt the royal stag
That roamed the royal wood
But he also was exceeding fona
Of pulling the royal pud.

The only thing he ever wore
Was one old dirty shirt
And this he wore to hide the skin
Which scarce could hide the dirt
He was wild and wooly and full of fleas
And his terrible tool hung down to his knees
All hail the Bastard King of England,

The Queen of Spain was a spritely dame
A spritely dame was she
Who loved to fool with the royal tool
Of the King across the sea
So she sent a royal message
By a royal messenger
To invite the King of England
To spend a week with her.

King Phillip of France, he shit his pants
And swore before the court
Me-thinks the Queen's avoiding me
Because my horn is short
So he sent the Count of Zippity-Zap
To give the Queen a dose of clap
All hail the Bastard King of England.

When news of this reached Londons halls
King William, he did roar
And swore hesd have King Phillip's balls
To even up the score.
So he offered half his kingdom
And a crack at fair Hortense
To any dirty son of a bitch
Who'd nut the King of France

Up rose the Duke of Essex
And he straight-way made for France
He swore he was a fruiter
And the King took down his pants
He tied a thong 'round Phillips dong
And on his steed he galloped along
Back to the merry halls of England
- 57 -

The Kifig threw up his breakfast
And *e shit upon the floor
For during the ride King Phillips pride
Had stretched a yard or more
The ladies of the court
All shook their teats in fiendish glee
For during the ride King Phillips pride
Had stretched to forty three.
And all the whores in London town
They cried to Hell with the British Crown
To Hell, with the Bastard King of England.

The Bloody Great Kiduey Wiper

She wrote to him a letter, and on it she did say,
I'd rather be fucked by the tinker than my good lord far away.

CHORUS: With his bloody great kidney wiper, his balls as big as three,
and half a yard of foreskin hanging down below his knee.
Hanging down-swinging free
Hanging low—bloody great prick
With his half a yard of foreskin hanging down below his knee.

He strode into the kitchen, he strode into the hall,
Good heavens cried the butler he's come to fuck us all.....CHORUS

He fucked the cok in the kitchen, he fucked the maid in the hall
But when he fucked the butler, it was the dirtiest trick
of all................................CHORUS

He jumped upon his charger, and homeward he did ride,
With his tool across the saddle and a ball on either side. . . CHORUS

The Four Bastards

I'm a Democratic figure in those autocratic States
A pathetic demonstration of heriditory traits
As the daughter of the bakers baked the most delicious breads,
As the sons of Casanova filled the most exclusive beds
As the Roosevelts and Barrymores—and others I could name
Inherited their talents which perpetuate their fame
My position in the structure of Society I owe,
To those little qualities my parents bequeathed me long ago.
Now my father was a traveling man and musical to boot
He used to play piano in a House of ill-repute
Where the Madam was a lady and a credit to her cult
She enjoyed my Daddy's playing and I was the result
So my Mammy and my Pappy are the ones I have to thank
That I grew up to be President of the City National Bank.

In a cozy little farmhouse in a cozy little dell
A dear old fashioned father and his daughter used to dwell
She was sweet, she was gentle, she was tender, she was mild
- 58 -

But her sympathies were stick that she was frequently with chil
Now the hired man. wa*.»f avorite with tihe gal's in-Mammy's set
And the traveling man from Scranton was an even-money bet.
For such were mommy's morals — and such, was her alure
That even Roger Babson wasn't very sure.
When she was feeling gloomy I could always make her grin
3y childishly inquiring who my pappy might have been,
So I took my mammy's morals and I took my pappy's crust,
And they appointed me head of a huge investment trust.

In a cozy little chain gang on a dusty southern road
My late lamented pappy has his permanent abode
Now some were there for stealing, but my pappy's only fault
Was an overwhelming weakness for criminal assault
His philosophy was simple and free from moral tape,
Seduction is for sissies, but a He-man has his- rape.
And tho pappy's lis of victums was incredibly rich
And mammy she was one of them, he'd never tell me which.
Now I never wont to college, but I got me a degree
I reckon I'm the model of a perfect SOB
I'm a debit to my country, but I'm a credit to my dad
I'm the most expensive Senator this nation ever had.

I'm an autocratic figure in these democratic states
A pathetic demonstration of hereditary traits,
As the daughters of policemen have the largest feet
As the daughter of the floozie has a wiggle to her seat
My position at the bottom of society I owe
To those little qualities my parents bequeathed me long age
Now my father he was a married man and what is even more
He was married to my Mother,afact which I deplore
I was born in Holy wedlock, consequently by — and by,
I was rooked by every bastard with plunder in his eye
I invested, I deposited, I voted every fal —
And if I had a nickel the bastards took it all.
But at last I've learned my lesson and I'm on the proper track
I'm a self-appointed bastard, and I'm out to get it back.

The Little Bird

There once was a bird, no bigger than a turd
A sitten on a telegraph pole
He stuck out his neck and he shit about a pack
as he puckered up his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
As he puckered up his little asshole.
- 59 -

Th© Loisg Bomba Di
I am a gay cabellero,
On my way to Bio Janero
And taking with me, my long Bom-Ba-Di
And also my Bom-Bom-Baderos.

I went to a Iim titLto,
An exceedingly fine tiato.
And taking wn,S me i>.y leng Bom-Ba-Di
And also my Bom-Boin-Baderos.

I mat a gay senoriia,
An exceeding1 y g-aj senorita,
Who waited td see my Jong Bom-Ba~di
And also my Boia-Beni-Bade^os»

We sat oil a »oft 3cfita,
An exceedingly soXt sofita,
Ana I showsd her the tin of my long Bon-ba-Di,
A"a one cf s-v Bom-Bom-Bsderos.

A fit! f„"om tnis gay senorita,
t oaiigtit a ca.se of clapita,
Bight on tho tip ol <ay long Bom-Ba-jDi ,
And oil o^e oC my Bom-Bom-Baderos.

I t3at to a :iiis raedico
An pxeeedingiy line medico,
1 showed hjr tae tip of my long Bora-Ba-Di,
And cne of my Bom-Bom-Baderos.

Ha tooK a ssifo stiletto,
An exceedingly sliart. stjlle^to,
Ar>d cut off the tip of try long Som-Ba-Di,
fc-13 one of my BoiL-Bori-Badoros,

jNow I am a sad cabellero,
Returning from Rio Janeiro
3,5inus the tip of my long Qow-Ba-lli,
And one of my Bam-Bora-Baderos.

Fae Portions Of A. Woman

The portions of a woman that appeal to man's depravity,
Are fashioned with considerable care,,
And what at first appears to be a harmless litcle cavity,
Is really an elaborate affair.

Doctors of distirction have examined the abdamena,
Of various experimental dames,
And have listed the components of these womanly phenomena,
And given them most charming Latin names.

There's the clitoris, the vagina, the vulva, perineum,
And the hymen in the case of certain brides,

- 60 -

Dolightfu-1 small devices you would love if you could see *em,
There's a hundred other little things besides.

Isn't it a pity then, that when we poor men chatter,
Upon the things to which I have referred,
We use for what is really a most complicated matter,
Such a short and unattractive little word.

The River Ran Red

(Tune: The good~Ship Titanic)

Number One was having fun, Number Two got quite a lew
Number Four got some more as he said
Oh, the river ran red with blood of the dead
As we came around and tried to get some more,

The road was full of ruts, and the ruts were full of guts
Little children sucking tits had them shot right from their mitts
As we came around and tried to get some more.

There were women in the crowd, little children cried aloud
But they all carried guns for the foe.
There were some who turned around, when they heard that
awful sound
As we came around and tried to get some more.

Oh, it seemed an awful crime, as we shot them in their prime
But they got Number Three, don't you see
Yes, they shot him down with flak, and they broke his bloody back
As we came around and tried to get some more.

(Repeat First Verse)

The Scotch Wedding

Oh, the Kxng was in the counting house, a counting out his wealth.
The Queen was in the bedroom, a playing with herself.

CHORUS: Singing I did it last night;
I did it now;
The man that had you 3ast night,
Cannot have you now!

Oh, the bride was in the bedroom, explaining to the groom,
The vagina, not the rectum, is the entrance to the womb. . . CHORX

Oh, the parson's wife, oh, she was there, seated down in front,
A wreath of roses 'round ker neck, and a carrot up nor ount. . . CH031

Oh, the parson's daughter, oh, she was there, she bad them all in nts
Diving from the mantlepiece and landing on her tits . , ... CHORl

Oh, the village idiot, he was there, a seated by the tire,
Amusiffl* himself by abusia* himself, witn an India rubber tire, . CBOOT

- 61 -

There -was fucking in the hayloft, fucking in the ricks,
You could not hear the music, for the swishing of the pricks. . .CHORUS

Oh, the village blacksmith, he was there, his hanuner and his awls,
Talking to the Countess, and showing off his balls........CHORUS

Oh, the village parson he was there, and very surprised to see,
Four and twenty maiden Ir^ads, a hanging from a tree.......CHORUS

There was fucking in the hallways, fucking on the stairs,
You could not see the carpet, for the come and curly hairs. . . .CHORUS

There was fucking in the barley, fucking in the oats,
Some were fucking sheep and some were fucking goats.......CHORUS

Singing balls to your partner, your ass against the wall;
If you don't get laid on Saturday night,
vou'll never get laid at all, ..................CHORUS
The Starting Of The Beairforte

(Ausse-circa 1943)

Now the starting of the Beaufort is a most peculiar art
&„- iLHcxex hoy much you prime tiio bitch the best she'll dc is fart
And eail;? ia the morning whev) the dew is ox> the grass
>o„ night as well jus^ «cio've the purcp up Pratt aa(* Whitney's ar&,

Cfao. D.M., D„0„ everybody come,
Come and watch the Beaufort boys a sitting on their bums
Trying te start their engines, amid the mighty roar
Of the liberators that were started long before.

Some enthusiastic engineers and airmen of the course
Have often found to their dismay and sometimes their remorse
That to over prime the Beaufort constitutes a mild dilemma
And has about the same effect as a misdirected enema.

The line up of the Beauforts is a most impressive sight
It's enough to make old ToJo shit himself with fright
But when he sees them sitting there a couple of hours after
He'll quickly change from shitting and he'll piss himself with
laugh ar.

We th_Tk the whole procedure is a silly fucking bluff
You can take your little book of words and shove it up your buff
We've come to the conclusion that the way to start the bitch
Is to hook it to a tractor and then tow it in high pitch.
- &> -

The Thanh Hoa Bridge

Tune: The Strawberry Roan

I was hanging around Ops in this sweaty
grime,
Just cussin' the schedule and my lack
of tin,e,
When up walKs this Colonel and says,
I suppose
vou're a trained killer by the looks
of your clothes.
Well I looked him up once and I looked
him down twice.
I could tell by his sneer he weren't
thinkin* nice,
So I said in a voice that shook with
the fear,
I'm your man if you buy the beer.

The Colonel then said, "I've a place
in mind
Where you can go, if you're not blind,
They've flak and MIGs and SAMs and such,
I need a man that's good in the clutch."
I get all het up and ask what I'd get,
' Twas a kick in the ass if I didn't hit.
1 told him I'd go cause they haven't found
A target in Hell that I couldn't pound.

We jump in his car and go to the line.
He stops by a "Nickle" that's tied up
in twine,
"This is your bird, now get on your way."
I could tell at a glance I'd sure earn
my pay.
I crank the beast up and I taxi on out,
As I leave the chocks I hear the chief
shout,
The oil pressure's low, the water
don't work,
And the stab aug's got one hell of a jerk.

I give him a grin and waggle my thumb,
This one's a counter and I'm not so dumb.
Well I take on off at two hundred per,
I got two on the wings and a full loaded
mer.
I struggle on up to ten thousand feet,
Send down the tanker or we'll never meet.

Well I take on my gas and head out
on course.
I call for a steer until I am hoarse.
- 63 -

But Lion is down and Invert won't say,
and Brigham says I'm not going his way.

Well I'm off on my own and all for
the best,
Those bastards don't know the East
from the West.
Now I get over Thanh Hoa and I look
for the bridge,
They said it was South but it's East
of the ridge.
I roll in on my run, it looks easy
as pie,
'Til the flak starts burstin' and
coverin' the sky.

I cooly compute all the mils I will need
And calmly adjust both angle and speed.
I check my drift and with the bridge
in my sight,
I mash on the button and pull off
to the right,
Well I check back at six and I see
this big bird,
He's a closing in fast and he's sure
riding herd.
As he flashes by there's a Red Star
on each side,
It must be a MIG and there's no place
to hide.

I head for the deck with all that she's
got,
When along comes this SAM-my God
I've been shot!
While driftin' down in. my chute
all alone
I'm finally convinced that I'm no
"smokin' stone".
I'm wishin' I was back in Kansas
right now
With a face-full of horseshit, my
hand on the plow
But that ain't so and I'm down in
the drink
A day like today can sure make a man
think!

Oh that Thanh Hoa Bridge
Oh that Thanh Hoa Bridge
They've flak and missiles, you're
some sittin' duck
At downing good pilots they've had
lots of luck.
- 64 -

The Tinker
A Dutchess was a-dressing for a ball,
When she spied a tinker, pissing against a wall,

CHORUS: With his bloody great kidney wiper,
And his bollocks swinging free,
And half a yard of foreskin
Hanging down below his knee.

The Dutchess wrote a letter, and in it she did say,
"I'd rather be fucked by the tinker than my husband any day,"

The tinker got the letter, and when it he did read,
His balls began to fester and his prick began to bleed,

He jumped upon his charger, to the castle he did ride,
With his bollocks on his shoulder, and his prick coiled by his side.

He fucked 'em in the kitchen, he fucked 'em in the hall,
But he back-scuttled the butler, 'twas the dirtiest fuck of all.

And last he fucked the lady, against her bedroom door,
But judging by the size of her cunt, he thought she'd been a whore.

He mounted on his charger and rode off down the street,
While little drops of semen pittered pattered at his feet.

And now the tinkers dead, Sir, some say he5s gone to hell,
If he has he'll fuck the Devil, and I know he'll fuck him well.

The West Virginia Hills

Once there was a maiden, they called her Nancy Brown
She was the cutest maiden, in country or town.
Along came a deacon, a seeking for a thrill
He took our little Nancy, and went up in the bills.

And she came rolling down the mountains, rolling down the mountains
Rolling down the mountains mighty wise
For the old and crafty deacon didn't get what he was seeking
And she's pure as the West Virginia skies.

Along came a cowboy, with his chaps and spurs and frills
He took our little Nancy a way up to the hill
But she came rolling down the mountain, mighty wise
?or in spite of the cowboy's urging, she remained a simple virgin
Just as pure as the West Virginia skies.

Along liaiae a city slicker with his hundred doll&r bills
He took our little Nancy in his Packard to the hills,
And she stayed up on the mountain all that night.
When she came down the next morning early, more a womaa than a girlie
And to Hell with the West Virginia skies.
- 65 -

Now she's living in the city, living in the city
Living in the city mighty swell
And she's pushing a baby carriage, and comtemplating marriage
And the West Virginia skies can go to hell.

Along came old depression, kicked the slicker in the pants
Took all his possessions, including little Nancy.
Now she's back in West Virginia, back in West Virginia,
Back in West Virginia as of youre.
And the cowboy and the deacon, they're getting what they're seeking
And she's known as the West Virginia Whore.

Three Whores From Canada Junction

Three whores walked down from Canada Junction
Full of brandy and wine
The topic of conversation was
Your cunts no bigger than mine.

CHORUS: Roly poly tickle my holey
Slippery slimey slue
Rattle your nuts across my guts
I'm one of the whorey crew.

The first old whore got up and said
My cunt's as big as the air
The birds fly in and the birds fly out
Aiid never touch a hair.

The second old whore got up and said
My cunt's as big as the moon
A man went in in January
And didn't come out till June.
- 66 -

Tuff Shitsky

(Tune: That's A'Mor'e)

When you set in the fix
And it's old Package Six
That's Tuff shitsky.

When then MIG call is on
And your radar is gone
That's tuff shitsky.

When the MIGS are behind
What a hell of a bind
That's tuff shitsky.

Then you hear from your wing
"Car't help with this thing"
Tha;'s tuff shitsky.

Then you know the best poop
Is a great big- fat loop
That's tuff shitsky.

When you see a big SAM
And it looks like a ram
That's tuff shitsky.

When your over the top
And you hear a loud pop
That's tuff shitsky.

On your way to the ground
You will hear this from "Crown"
That's tuff shitsky.

"We are already late
And we all have a date"
That's tuff shitsky.

"We must be on our way
So, that's all for today"
That's tuff shitsky.

"We will come back tomorrow
Till then, tears and sorrow"
Tuff Shitsky!

"But we have to go back
Now to joust in the sack"
It's Tuff shitsky!

Tuia Lynra Lyany

CHORUS:
Sing Tura Lyura Lyany
Sing Tura Lyura Lyany
Sing Tura Lyura Lyany Lyany
Sing Tura Lyara Ly ai

The sexual life of the camel
is stranger than anyone thinks
He spends his amorous moments
attempting to bugger the Sphinx
CHORUS

Now the Sphinx's posterior office
Is closed by the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.
CHORUS

Extensive experimentation
By Addison, Huxley and Hall
Conclusively proved that the woodchuck
Could never be buggered at all.
CHORUS

But here's to the lads down at Harvard
And here's to the queers down at Yale
Who effectively buggered the woodchuck
By removing the spines from his tail
CHORUS

Uaclejjeorge & Aantie Mabel

Tune: Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Uncle George & Auntie Mabel, fainted at
the breakfast table,
This should be sufficient warning,
never do it in the morning

Oyaiteen has set them right, now
they do it every night,
Bade George is hoping soon, to do
it in the afternoon.

A.,,..,„,men.
- 68 -

We've Been Working on The Railroad

We've been working on the railroad
Every fucking day.
We've been working on the railroad,
Up Thai Nguyen way.

Uncle Ho ain't got no railroad,
No rolling stock or switches,
But Seventh frags us on the railroad,
Those dirty sons of bitches.

SAM's galore, 57's too,
85's will scragg your old Yazoo!
Fuck, Shit, Hate, Shit Hot too
So what the hell is new.

Someone's up a tree on Thud Ridge,
Someone's in the drink I know o-o-o-o
Someone's in the karst near Hoa Lac,
Shouting on the radio.

Shouting, Fee, Fi Fiddly-i-oh
Fee, Fi Fiddly-i-oh, oh, oh, oh
Fee, Fi Jolly Green Oh
Only 99 more to go.

Why Did I Join The Air Force

Oh, the "T-Jet's" a very fine aircraft
Constructed of rivets and tin.
It cruises Well over one-fifty
The ship with the headwind built in.

CHORUS: Oh, why did I join the Air Force?
Mother, dear mother knew best
Here I lie "neath the wreckage
A "T-Jet" all over my chest.

Now when you are out on a mission,
You will be happy to learn,
The crew chief is betting good money,
Ten to one you will never return.

CHORUS

Now when you are out on a mission,
A Messerschmidtt makes a fine pass;
Reach up, grab hold of the rip cord,
To Hell with the ship, save your ass!
- 69 -

Woodpecker Song
Oh, I stuck my finger in a woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
Take it out, take it out, take ?t out, remove it

So, I removed my finger from the woodpecker hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
Put it back, put it back, put it back, replace it

I replace my finger in the woodpeckers hole
The woodpecker said God bless my soul
Turn it around, turn it around, turn it around,
revolve it

I revolved my finger in the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
In and out, in and out, in and out, reciprocate it

I reciprocated my finger in the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
Pull it out, pull it out, pull it out, retract it

I retracted my finger from the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
Take a smell, take a smell, take a smell, revolting.

You'll Never Mind

Come and join the Air Force
Were*re a happy band they say
We never do a lick of work
Just fly around all day
While others work and study
And soon grow old and blind
We take to the air without a care
And you will never mind

CHORUS: You'll never mind, you'll never mind
So come and join the Air Force
And you will never mind

Come and get promoted
As high as you desire
You're riding on a gravy train
If you're an Air Force flier
And when you get to General, you will
Surly find
Your wings fall off, the dough rolls in
But you will never mind.

You rake it up and spin it
And with an awful tear
Your wings fall off, the ship spins in
But you will never care

- 70 -

For in about two minutes more
Another pair you'll find
you'll dance with pete in an angel's suit
But you will never mind

While flying the Pacific
You hear the engine spit
You watch the tach come to a stop
The God Damn thing has quit
The ship won't float, and you can't swim
The shore is far behind
Oh, what a dish for crabs and fish
But you will never mind
While flying over Laos
In a Thunderchief
There's one thing to remember
And that's my firm belief
I've only got one engine, Jack
And if that bastard quits
It'll be up there all by itself
Cause I will shit and git

And if some wily MIG 21
Should shoot you down in flames
Don't sit around and bellyache
And call the bastard names
Just hit the silk, it's cream and milk
And pretty soon you'll find
There is no Hell and all is well
And you will never mind.
- 71 -

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