Fighter Pilot's Hymn Book (1958)

Below is the raw OCR of the The Fighter Pilot's Hymn Book compiled by 1st Lt. William John Starr, USAF, circa 1958. Please download the PDF of the scanned pages if you wish to verify the text below.

mmmm pilot*s toast
Here*s to me in my sober mood
When I ramble sit and thiols:
Herafs to me in my dnaikrea mood
When 1 gamble sin and drtnlc
But when at last itfs over
And from this world 1 pass
1 hot>e they hury me upside down
So the whole world can kiss my ass

"WARNING"
This ms a word "of warning- a warning to those readers
whose tender sensibilities may, or more accurately will,
be offended by the language of these ballads« But it is
no apology to them* For these are songs that are sung by
flying officers and men throughout the English speaking
world* .They reflect the manners of nan at war, the morals
of pilots who drink to forget for an evening the combat
mission they must fly at dawn* ^an§r of these lyrics were
adapted to the Korean "situation" after becoming pppular
among the same warriors during World War II, and at least
one or'two were sung around the campfires on the eve of
Gettysburg. ..
It follows, therefore, that they are not the product
of a particular degenerate generation* They are instead,
as they always have been, an inte ral part of military life
in the field, no more and no less so than a cold tenfi, bath-
ing in a helmet, dehydrated potatoes and dysentery*
You must accept or ignore them as we accept or ignore
the conditions that inspired their authors to write them
and us to sing them*
(From "Songs My Mother Never Taught Me," 13th Ftr-Bmbr wg)
(From ftSongbook, 357th FIS Nouasseur, Marocu )
(From nSongbook, 42nd FISn)
(From "Songbook, 431st FIS'T)
(From "Other Sources")
THE FIGHTER PILOTS HYMN BOOK was compiled by,
1/Lt Wm. J. Starr
edited and produced for the 79th Ftr Group by,
Capt. Wm*- C* Gatschet
(copyrights are not claimed and anyone desiring may
reproduce, any or all portions at their discretion)

TABLE OF CONTENTS
A BABBLING BROOK 54
A BOMBER THAT FLIES TEN THOUSAND MILES........ 56
ACE IN THE HOLE 47
ADELINE SCHMIDT________________ _ . ... 2
AIN'T IT A BLOODY SHAME________________________.....___....... 49
AIR FORCE SOI ^ _ „ _ 15
A MAN WITHOUT A WOYA'N" "..... 1 __ ~_ _ $7
A NAVY PRAYER_______________________.___________.. ' ......37
AND I LEARNED ABOUT FLYING FROM HIM _ 20
ARIGATE FOR THE MEMORIES _______________ZI_L1_ __"_'"" #9
ASS HOLES ARE CHEAP TOD'\Y ________________..... _1
AURALEE_______________________._""' __ I_____"_ _"____T ' " 90
BALL OF YARN_________________ _ _____ 68
BANG IT IfflTO LULU_________________,_________________ 103
BARNACLE BILL THE PILOT___ _ 16
BATTLE HYMN ________ ' ' 'i'_""__""_'_ ........ 90
BESIDE A KOREAN WATERFALL" ......" ....... ...... 11
BEER SONG _____________~ Zl 120a
BLACKBIRDS"""^______ '_ _____________ 51
BYE BYE CHERRY _ __ 44a
BLESS THEM ALL ~ _..... ..........."................ 31
BLOOD ON YOUR TUNIC " ___ _ _ __ 29
BOOZIN' BUDDIES _ 25
BUDDY _-E*S-B _ __ ___________ S5
BYE BYE BLACKBIRD"~ ~~J ""_ '" ......."'_""_ i__'"""...... 92
CALL OUT THE ARMY "AND THE" NAVY _______________________40
CATS ON THE ROOB TOP_______________________________________46
CHICKEN SO NG__________'_________________..... 19
CHITOSE BLUES_________' ___"____.____________ 31
CIGSRETTES AND WHISKEY _ 31a
CLOVIS__________ " _"_ ....."..... ' "" ' 120
COCAINE SUE_________ _________ ______ 86
COLD WINTERS EVENING ~" 7
COME ON AND JOIN SHE AT R TORCE _________;_____Xl" Si?
COOL----------------------------------------------------------------------------------105
CO-PILOTS LAMENT ___ __ _____________:__________25
CREEPING AND CRAWLING_____________■______________ 109_£S
DIRTY LIL _________" 51
DOODLE*LEE*DOO_____Jl_' _"__"__" __"_ _""""__!"...........68
DO YOU KEN MY SISTER TILLY " ,"~ '" . \ 88
DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW ' _ _'' _ ______100
DRINKING RUM AND COCA COLA__________________'_______114
DRUNK__________._____________ """ _ "' ' ' 94
EARLY ABORT _ _ _ ~ '"....... ___L I"_" "..........." 50
EIGHT BUCKS A"DAY """ '___"__' " ' ~......~" " ..... ~"...... "59
FALSIES IN BRASSEIRES " '"_"......"...... ": ~ —74
FAREWELL TO ANTUNG UNIVERSITY _____________ 30
FATHERS GRAVE____________________" "'" " 12
FIGHTER PILOTS ________________________________' "54
FIGHTER PILOTS ________'" ........"54a
FLAK IN THE NIGHT . 62
FLAK SHOWERS____________________________________ "' 14
FOGGY FOGGY DEW_______~" ___"""_"____„_____Z_Z__~""99
FORESKIN FUGITIVES________________________________ ""79
FRIGGIN IN THE RIGGIN " ~ 7^

GLORiUS 94
GOj.NG HOME £2
GOOD OLD MOUNTAIN DEW 29
"Gn SUITS AND PARACHUTES 53
HAIL YOU FIGHTER PILOTS 59
HARRI&AN 94
HAVE YOU TRIED YESSUP 7
HERE'S TO 110
HE BOUGHT A RANCH IN TEXAS HE DID 110a
HERE'S Tu THE REGULAR AIR FORCE 23
HINKY DI 107
HONEY M@S 86
HORSE SHIT 98
HUMORESQUE 109
HUTCH'S BALLAD 33
I AIN'fl} GOT NO USE FOR THE WOI'EN 106
ICE ON THE RICE 79
IF YOU FLY 61
I LOVE A BILLBOARD 109
I LOVE MY GIRL 5
I LOVE OLD WING OPS AND FLYING SAFETY 85
IN FLIGHT REFUELING 84
IN THE SPRINGTIME 103
IN THE TALL GRASS 91
INTO THE AIR 53
INTO THE AIR 69ERS 97
I SAW HER SNATCH 108
ITAZUKE ORT 16
IT'S TRAGIC 97
I USED TO WORK IN (H ICAGO 97
IVAN SKAVINSKI SKAVAR 5
I'VE GOT SIX PENCE 60
I WANTED WINGS 27
I WANTED WINGS (KOREAN VERSION)' 28
I WANT TO GO HOME 59
JOIN THE AIR FORCE 101
KATHUSELEM 52
KEYHOLE IN TIE DOOR 95
KItePO BLUES iKfcP0-5€>NA"TA 8
KOREA 12
KOTEX SONG 10
KUNI*RI AND ANTUNG 32
LAST NIGHT 96
LEADER OF THE GROUP 96a
LEE'S HOOCHIE 36
LET OLE MOTHER NATURE HAVE HER WAY 119
LET'S HAVE A PARTY 112
LETS HAVE A PARTY 112a
LILLY FROM PICCADILLY 74
LITTLE RED LIGHT 99
LOOK AT THE EARS ON HIM ' 53
LYDIA PINKHAM 75
MACH RIDERS IN THE SKY 66
MRY ANN BURNS 1

CONTENTS CONT
MAKE ME OPERATIONS 9^
16$£
MEET ME IN KYOTO
MTG ^ 15 44
MINNIE THE MERMAIE
93
MOONSHINE 22
113
93
MOM'S IN BED
MUTHERS HUMPERS BALL
MOVIN ON 63
MUSTANG'S RUN BY MERLIN g3
MY DARLIN 39 63
MY GOD HOW THE MONEY ROLLS IN 64
THE WILD EYED CADET 59
NAPALM 19
NAUGHT LITTLE DOG 117
NAVY PRAYER 112a
NELLY DARLING 4
NO BALLS AT ALL 6
ODE TO THE B*29 60
ODE TO THE JOC DUTY OPFICER 79
OFF WE GO 18
OH, ITS BEER BEER BEER 73
OH MY GOD ^3
OH RIP TI-E FEATHERS AWAY 2
OH THE #35th IS A VERY FINE SQUADRON 79
OH THEY SAY THAT THIS KIMPO'S A WONDERFUL PLACE 7
OLD BEER BOTTLES 45
OLD GREEN RIVER 76
OLD GREY BUSTLE 66
OLD NUMBER NINE 10A
OLD SOLDIERS NEVER DIE 43
ONCE THEY WERE HAPPY 57
ON TOP OF OLD FUJI 44
ON TOP OF OLD PYONGYANG 44
O'RIELLEYS DAUGHTER 3
OH THE MISERY OF LIVING IN SIN 79a
NATIONAL EMBALMING U 59a
PADDY MURPHY HO
PARTIES H
PARTIES BANQUETS AND BALLS 6
PASDE CALAIS 60
PILOTS WOE 60a
PILOTS HEAVEN 102
PILOTS LIMENT 15
PIPER LAURIE 47
PISS ON THE 73
PLEASE DON'T BURN THE SHIT HOUSE DOWN 6
POOR BUT HONEST 46
POOR LITTLE ANGELINE ¥ 41
PUSAN U 36
RAIL CUTTERS 63
RED NOSE MIGS 44
3

CONTENTS CONT
RED "SCARFS g7
RING DANG DOO 65
RIO RIO RIO g3
ROLL YOUR LEG OVER 77
ROTATIONAL EVE [{^
SAFE HAND KAIL . 22
SALLY 4
SALOME 32
SAM HOUSTON 105
SAMMY SMALL 1
SAVE A FIGHTER PILOTS ASS 34
SEOUL CITY SUE 53
SEPBSQA 92
SHanty town 112
Show me THE WAY TO GO HOME 35
SIDI SLIMANE BEING 113
SILVER THREADS AMONT THE GOLD n
SING US ANOTHER ONE DO 69
SIX POUNDS OF BOOBIES g V
SIXTEEN TIMES 96
SONG OF R AND R oa
SONG OF THE 13th 6l
SONG OF THE ZULU WARRIORS 26
SuUTH OF THE BORDER- H6
SPANISH GUITAR 91
SQUADRON SONG 23
STAND TO YOUR GLASSES 26
SSAY WITH GOD 3
STRAFERS 42
STKAFIN1 ROUND THE MOUNTAIN 37
STREET CLEANER SONG 113
STYLES 2
TACHIKAV/A, YOKOHAMA, ITAZUKE 55
TAEGU GIRLS 40
TATOOED L&DY 39
TELL ME WHY 9O
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS 107
THE AIR FORCE IA MENT 13
THE B-36 7g
THE BALLS OF O'LEARY 79
THE BASTARD KING OF ENGLAND go
THE BLuODY GREAT wheel 4
THE CAMEL 45
THE CANDEL SONG gg
THE CHEETAS gg
THE COED AND THE CADET £7
THE CO*-MIES LAMENT 104
THE CUCKOO SONG 33
THE FAIRCHILD ABOETION 51
THE FIGHTIN 63th 62
THE FORMATION 59
THE HAIRY CHESTED EI( HT SIX HO
fHS Jffi'Wck bull , 81
The AF Has gone to Hell ^ 112

THE LITTLE GREY HAT___________________________________________Ji%
THE MID OF THE MOUUTAIH^ffii______________________________b£- -
THE MAN BEHIND THE ARMOR PLATED DESK______________________M_A
THE MISSION_________________________________________£#L *
THE MOST CHIVILROUS FISH__________________;_____'^tl
THE PERSIAN KITTY______,______________________________jg
THE PO RIVER VALLEY__________________________;________j0
THE PRETTIEST SHIP _________________________ \j
THE PRETTIEST GIRL I EVER SAW_________________________33
THE SCOTCH UEDDING____________________________________*jg
THE RIVER RAN RED_______________________________ kZ
THE THING-___________________________ 67
THE TINKER________________________________________10
THE WOODPECKER________________________________________76
THOSE WEDDING BELLS ARE BREAKING UP___________________67
THREE WHORES PROM CANADA JUNCTION ______________81
TIE MY ROOT AROUND A TREE_____________________________108
TIPTANKS AND TAILPIPES (THE MALL) _________________12
TITANIC__________________________________________ - 18
TOAST TC THE BLUE ANGELS______________________________________55
TOO LONG AT ITAZUEE______________________________________ 6l
TO THE REGULARS __________________________:__________________24
TO THE TABLES DOW AT SIS!___________________________________115
WO LADIES WSIffl CONFIDING____________________________________93
UNCLE JOHN AND AUNTIE MABLE__________________________________10
VIOLATE ME______________________________________________________y&
VIRGIN STURGEON _____________________________________100
WE SOLD OUR COW__________________________■_____________12Q
WE HEARD YCU WHEN YOU SANG___________________________________120-i
WEST VIRGINIA HILLS___________________________________________73
WHEN YOUR LEAVES HAVE TURNED TO SILVER_____________________1^
WHIFFENPOOF SONG______________________________________________95
WRECK OF OLD '97,_______________________________________________21
YOU CAN TELL A FIGHTER PILOT 11
FIGHTERS PILOTS TOAST
here's to me in my sober mood
v/hen I ramble sit and think
Herei s to me in my drunken mood
when I gamble, sin and drink
But when at last It1s over
and from this world I pass
I hope they bury me upside down
so the whole world can kiss my ass
5

SAMMY SMALL
Oh my name is Sammy Small fuck em all
Oh my name is Sammy Small fuck em all
Oh my name is Sammy Small and ITve only got one ball
But it Ts better than none at all - fuck em all*
They say ITve killed a man fuck em all
they say I!ve killed a man fuck em all
I hit him in the head with a fucking piece of lead
now the silly fuckers dead - fuck em all
They say I!ve got to swing fuck em all
they say ITve got to swing fuck email
They say-ITve got to swing from a fucking piece of string
What a siily fucking thing - fuck em all
The parson he will <o me fuck em a LI
the parson he will come fuck email
The parson he will come with his tales of kingdom come
he can shove em up his bung - fuck em all
The sherrif will be there too fuck em all
the sherrif will be there too fuck em all
The sherrif will be there too with his silly fucking crew
they have fuck all els e to do - fuck em all
I saw molly in the crowd fuck em all
i saw molly in the crowd fuck em all
I saw molly in the crowd and i felfc so fucking prowd
that I shouted right out loud - Fuck Bm All
MARY ANN BURNS
Mary arm Burns was the queen of all the acrobats
She could do the tricks that would give a cat the sh its
Roll green peas from her fundamental orifice
Do a double flip and catch them on her tits
A great big son-of-a-bitch twice as big asme
Hair around her ass like the branches on a tree
She can swim fish fight fuck
roll a barrel dri^e a truck
Mary Ann Burns is the girl for me*

ADELINE SCHMIDT

^here was a young maiden named Adeline Schmidt
She went to the doctor cause she couldn!t shit
He gave her some nlmdicine wrapped up in glass
Up went the wii:dow and out went her ass*
Chorus:
It waTT brown, brown shit falling down
Brown brown shit all around
it was brown brown shit falling down
MyGod how that poor girl could shit
A handsome young copper was walking his beat
He happened to be on that side of the street
He looked up so bashful he Hied up so shy
When a piece ^f brown shit hit him right in the eye.
Chorus
This handsome young copper he cussed and he swore
He called that young maiden a dirty old whore
And on Brooklyn bridge you can still see him sit
"v/ith a si.\n round his neck saying, nBlinded by shit,11
Chorus
Styles (Tune Smiles)
There are styles that show the ankle
There are styles that show the knee
There are styles that have the boys all xvonderin^
Just what the girls are gonna let us see
There are styles that have a tender waning
That the eyes of ve n alone can see
But the style that Eve wore in the garden
Is the style that appeals to me.
OH RIP THE FEATHERS AWAY
Oh rip the feathers away away
Oh rip the f .athers away
Oh the ass of a duck
makes a Wonderful fuck
If you rip tte feathers away
2

OVREILLEY'S DAUGHTER
As I was sitting at O'Reilleys bar
Listening to tales of blood aid slaughter
Came a thought into my mind
Why no shag 0!Reilleys daughter
Chorus
Ficidley-I*E Fiddley*l*0
Fiddley*I*E for the one ball Reilly
Rubby dub dub jig balls and all
Ruddy dub dub shag on
I grabbed that she bitch by the hair
Then I threw my left leg over
Shagged and shsgged and shagged some more
Shagged and shagged til the fun was over
Chorus
There came a knock upon my door
Who could it be but her God-Dam father
Two horse pistols by his side
Looking for the man who shagged his daughter
Chorus
1 grabbed that bastard by the fe ir
shoved his head in a ja il of water
Shoved those pistols up his ass
A damni sight farther than I shagged his daughter
Chorus
Nov/ as I go walking down the street
People shout from eve*y corner
There goes the dirty sd n of a bitch
The one who shagged OfReilleys daughter
Stay with OD (Dashing thru the sno)
The game was played on Sunday in Heavens own back yard
With Jesus playing quarterback and Moses playamg guard
The angels in tie b3e achers my god how they did yell
When Jesus na de a touchdown against the boys from hell
Chorus (Tune Oh, them golden slippers)
Stay with god, oh lordy, stay with god, oh lordy
Jesus on the one yard line, moses doin very fine
Stay with god , oh lordy, stay with god, oh lordy
Hoke em, soke em, Jesus poke em, stay with god
3

NELLY DARLING (Tune Nelly Darling)
Oh your ass is like a stovepipe Nelly darling
And the nipples on your tits ate turning green
There's an odor of blue ointment round your pussy
You are the ugliest bitch that I have ev-r seen
Therefs a yard of lip protruding from your navel
and when you piss you piss a stream as green as grass
ThereTs enough wax in your ears to make a candle
So kindly make one dear and shove it up your ass
SALLY
Sallyfs in the alley sifting cinders
Lifted up her leg and farted like a man
Wind from her bloomers broke six winders
Cheeks of her ass went BAM BAM BAM
THE BLOODY CHEAT WHEEL
An airman told ne before he died
and 1 don!t think that the bastard lied
Ihat he had a wife with a cunt so wide
that she could re ver be satisfied
So he invented a prick of steel
Driven by a bloody great wheel
Two jrass balls all filled with cream
And the who fucking issue was driven by steam
Round and round went the bloody great wheel
in and out went the prick of steel
until at last the maiden cried
Enough Enough, ITm satisfied
But nov- we cone to the bitter bit
'Miere was no was- of stopping it
She- was spit from her ass to her tit
and the who&e fuckirg issue was covered wit h shit
A Babbling Br ok
A babbling brook, a shady nook, a girl all dressed in yellow
Two snow white tits, two ruby lips, oh you lucky fellow
Between the hours of two and four when he began to linger
She said, Young nan if you are through IT11 finish with my finger
So he got up and took a piss, and she got up and farted
He wipedhis jock upon her sock, arri that is how they ja rted
Nine days went by, he heaved a sigh a sigh of pain and sorrow
the pimples pamk were on his dink but ther'll be more tomorrow
Nine months went by and she heaved a sigh a sigh of pain & sorrow
two little mutts, were in her guts but they111 be out tomorrow
4

IVAN SKAVINSKI SKAVAR
Oh the harems of egypt are fair to behold
and the maidens the fairest of fair
The fairest a greek, was owned by a shiek
One abdul abbulbal amer
A traveling brothel was brought into town
3y a Russian who came from Sfar
And a challenge we it wide, as to who could outride
Count Ivan Skavinski Skavar
Now abdul rode by with his hand on his fly
And his jails h anging low with desire
And he watered a million that he could outride
Count Ivan Skavinski Skavar
So this spectacle great was all set for a date
Twas to be referreed by tie C„ar
And the streets were all lined to see harlots entwined
With Abdul and Ivan Skavar
xhey iB t at the track with their tools hinging slack
And the starters gun punctured the air
They were quick on the rise, peoole gasped at the si^e
of Ivan Skavinski Skavar
The cunts were all shorn and no rubbers were worn
iiiid abdul revved up like a car
But he hadftTt a hope against the long greasy stroke
Of Ivan Skavinski Skavar
Nov/ when Ivan had won and was c]e aning hisg^u n
#e bent down to pick up his pair
When something red hot,, up his rear track was shot
And Abdul the bastard was there

^hen the harlots all screamed and the people yelled queen
hey were ordered apart by the C^ar
But so fast were they stuck, it was fucking bad luck
For Abdul and Ivan Skavar
The cream of the joke was when at last they were broke
It was laughed at for year by t he Czar
F r Abdul the fool, had left half of his tlool
In Ivan Skavinski Skavar
I love my girl
I love my girl yes I do deed I do
I love her truly
I love the hole that she pisses through
I love her tits tiddly tits tiddly tits
And her nut brown ass hole
I'd eat her shit gobble gobble slurp slurp
with a wooden spoon
5

NO BALLS AT ALL
There once was a girl named Sara McEox
With hair on her chest and cheese in her box
She married a man named Patrick McCall
With a very short peter and no halls at all
Chorus:
No halls at all
No halls at all
A bery short peter and no halls at all
Ther first night that they were wed
They took of their clothes and went straight to bed
She reached for ids pecker, it was very small
She reached for his balls, he had no balls at all
Now maother dear maother oh what shall I do?
I've married a man who never can screw
I reached for his pecker, it was very small
I reached for his balls, he had no balls at all
Oh daughter dear daughter don't be sad
It was the same trouble I had with your dad
The re1 s many a man who will come to the call
Of the wife of a man who has no balls at all
The dauther went home, took her mothers advice
And found the results most exceedingly nice
A bouncing young baby was born in the fall
To the wife of the man who had no balls at all
PARTIES BANQUETS AND BALLS
( Tune- Take me out to the ballgame )
Parties banquets and balls boys
Parties banquets and balls
As president Truman has said before
There !s only one way to stay out of a war
That's with parties banquets and balls boys
Parties banquets and balls
We'll have parties and banquets and
Banquets and parties
And Balls, Balls, Balls
PLEASE DON'T BURN THE SHITHOUSE DOWN
Please don't burn the shithouse down
Mother has promised to pay
Mother is drunk, father's in jail
Sister's in a family way
Brother dear is mighty queer
Times are fucking hard
So please don't burn the shithouse down
Or we'll all have to shit in the yard
6

COLD WINTER*S EVENING
fTwas a cold winter*s evening, the quests were all leaving
0*Leary was losing the bar, When he turned and he said to the lady in red,
Get out J Yo"u con!t stay where you are
She shed a sad tear in her bucket of "beer, As she thought of the cold night
ahead.
Then a gentleman dapper stepped out of the crapper,
And these are the words that he said:
Her mother never told her the things a young girl should know
About the ways of fly, fly hoys and how they come and go.
She's lost her youth and beauty, and life has left its sad scar
So remember your mothers and sisters hoys and let her sleep under the bar
SILVER THREADS AMONG THE GOLD
Darling let me fiz your garter
Just an Inch above your fenee
And if I should wander farther
Please don*t blame it all on me.
The hair around you puss!s turning silver
The hair around my cock Is turning gold
So let's put our two things together
Silver threads among the gold
So she let me fiz her garter
Just an inch above her knee
And my hand did wander farther
And she pissed all over me
OH THEY SAY THAT THIS KIMPO'S A WONDEREUL PLACE
Oh they say that this Kimpo's a wonderful place
But the organizations a fucking disgrace
There's Captains and Major!s and light Colonels too
With their hands in their pockets and fuck all to do
They stand on the ramp and they rave and they shout
They shout about things they know fuck all about
And for all of their good they might just as well be
A shoveling shit on the Isle of Capri
HAVE YOU TRIED YESSUP?
Save y#u tried Yessup
The best breakfast in the land
Have you tried Yessup
The best breakfast food in the land
Delicious, nutricious, the whole day throught
Jack Hard-On never tires of it, and neither will you
Ch have you tried Yessup,
The best breakfast food in the land
Yes sup-Spelled backwards is Pussy
Spelled bideways is Slur-Slurp
7

SIX FOUNDS OF BOOBIES
(Tune, These are the things I
Love)
Six pounds of "booties in a loose brassier
An old used condrum ie, a glass of beer
A twot that twitches like a mooses ear
these are the things I love
A dirty Whore strolling down the street
A bloody Kotex in the rumbleseat
I love my poontang hut I heat my meat
These are the things I love
EIMPQ BLUES
(Tune, A little bit of heaven fell)
Oh a little bit of shit fell down
Out of the sky one day
And it landed in the Chosen
Oh so very far away
And when the Senate saw it
It looked s fucking bare
They said that!s what we're looking for
We'll send our Air ^orce there
So they sent their ,86ts
Air Base Group and midics tco
«nd they sent the dreaded 33^th
They knew just what to do
And now you'll find the languished
In a place that *s so remote
That all you111 hear those bustards shout,so
Where are these fucking boats
Chorus
I've got those Kimpo Blues
Kimchi Blues
I'M fed up
And I'm fucked up
And I 'm blue
We tried to please Old Sygman
But it really was a farce
The only thing twas left to do
Was shove it up his arse
(Chorus)
Oh we^fouhd oiir Alma Mater
In ahouse in Yong Long Po
The brass got there before us
They showed us where to go
8

MAKE MB OPERATIONS
Don't give me a P-38, the props they conter-rotate
They've scattered and smitten from Burma to Britain
Don't give me a P-38
Chorus:
Just give operations
Way out on some lonely atoll
For I am too young to die
I just want to grow old
Don't give me a P-39
The engine is mounted behind
They111 tumble and spin and auger you in
Don ' t give me a P-39
Don't give me a peter four oh, a hell of an airplane I know
A ground loopin bastard, you're sure to get plastered
Don't give me a peter four oh
Don't gibe me a P-51, it was alright for fighting the hun
But with cooland tank dry, you'll run out of sky
Don't give me a P-51
Don't give me a P-6l, for night flying is no fun
They say it's a lark, but I'm scared of the darS
Don't give me a P-6l
DonH give me an F-84, She's just a ground living whore
She'll whine moan end wheeze and she'll clabber the reees
Don't give me and F-84
Don't give me an old thunderbolt, it gave many a pilot a jolt
It looks like a jug and it flies like a tug
Don!t give me an old"thunderbolt
Don't give me a jet shooting star, it'll go, but not very far
It'll ramble and spout, but soon will flame out
Don't give me a jet shooting star
Don't give me an F-86, with wings like broken match sticks
They'll zoom and they'll hover, but as for top cover
Don't give me an F-86
Don't give me an. F-89, Tho TIME says they'll really climb
They're all in the states, all boxed up in crates
Don't give me an F-89
Don't give me an F-94, it's never established a score
It may fly in weather, but won't hold together
Don't give me an F-9*|
Don't give me an 86-D, with rockets radar and A/B
She's fast I don't care, she blows up in mid-air
Don't give me an 86-D
9

MAKE ME OPERATIONS (Cond't)
Don't give me a C-^5, so slow it stalls out in a dive
A ground loop built in it, and bird colonels in it
Don't give me a C-45
Don't give me a C-5^» six inches of rugs on the floor
And We'll go fat-cat'n, from here to Manhattan
Don't give me a C-5^*
Don't give me a £-45, the pilots don't get back alive
The Mig 15fs chase em, they soon will erase em
Bon1t give me a B-^5
Don't give me a one-double-O, The bastard is ready to blow
The A/B is there, but you're saying a prayer
Don't give me a one-double-0
Don't give me an P-102, it never goes up when it's blue
An all v/eather eoffin, that flames out so often
Don't give me an F-102
THE MAU BEHIND THE ARMOR PLATED DESK
(Tune- Strip Polka)
Early in the morning when the engines start to roar
You can see the old goat standing, beside his office door
He'll be sweating out the takeoff, as he's often done before
The man behind the armor plated door
Four times he's led us up there, and he always led up back
Por he circled o'er the I«P«, as we went in to attack
He said I'm hard yet fair boys, but allergic to ack ack
The man behind the armor plated desk
And when the targets sighted, who inspires the attack
Who says hundreds may go in lads, but a few aren't coming back
Who says We'll disregard the minimum, when you supress the flak
The man behind the armor plated desk
And when the mission1s over, and briefing they should be
You can search the whole field over, but not a pilot will you see
For they'll all be at the 0 Club, with a mixed drink in their hand
Singing the Man Behind the Armor Plated Desk
SONG- OP R AND R
(Tune- Moonlight on the Wabash)
When the ice is on the rice in old Ohitose
And the Saki is the cellar starts to freeze
I don't want to see my wife in San Prancisco
I just want to see my little Nipponese
9-a

kotex som
(Tune, Caissons go Rolling Along)
Youn can tell "by the smell that she isn't feeling will,
When the end of the month rolls around
How she turns, how she squirms, how she gets a case of worms,
When the end of the month rolls around.
For itfs hi, hi, hee, in the Kotex industry,
Call out your sises loud and strong
Super] Junior J----Band-aid
For where are- you go
The blood will always flow,
When the end of the month rolls around,
Keep !em bleedin1 when the end of the month rolls around*
THE TIMER
The lady of the mansion, was dressing for a hall when she expied a
tinker, pissing up against the wall,
CHORUS:
With his great big kidney wiper and balls as big as three and a yard and a
half of foreskin hanging down below his knee.
The lady wrote a letter and in it she did say,
I'd rather be fucked by the tinker than my husband any day*
Oh the tinker got the letter and when it he did read,
His bsalls slung o'er his shoulder and his penis by his side.
Oh, he rode up to the mansion he rode up to the hall
Corf Blyne? said the butler he has come to fuck us all
Oh, he fucked them in the parlor he fucked them on the beds,
Lord save us? Cried the chambermaids, We've lost our maidenheads
Oh, he fucked the Duchess standing he fucked her against the wall,
But when he fucked the butler twas the dirtiest trick of all*
Oh, he rode out form the mansion he rode into the street
With little drops of semen pattering at his feet
Oh, the tinkers dead and buried I!ll bet he's gone to hell
He said he'd fuck the devil and I!ll bet he's done it well
XfflCLE JOHN & AUNTIE MABEL (Tune- Hark t he Herald
Angels Sing)
Uncle John & Auntie Mabel, fainted at the breakfast table,
This should be suffienient warning, never do it in the morning
Ovalteen has set them right, now they do it every night,
Uncle John is hoping soon, to do it in the afternoon„ A---men
10

PITIES
Oh, parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
So, let's have a party
We*re never to busy to say hello
We're never to busy to say hello
We're never to husy to say hello
HELLO ~ HELLO - HELLO
BBS IDE A KOREAN WATERFALL
Beside a Korean waterfall, one bright and sunny day
Beside his shatter Sabre jet, a young pur suiter lay
His oarachute hung from a nearby tree, he was not yet quite dead
So listen to the very last words this young pursuiter said
I'm going to a better land where everything is bright
Where whiskey flows from Telephone poles
Play poker every night
We havn't got a thing to do but sit around and sing
And all our crews are women, oh death where is thy sting
Oh death where is thy sting, ting-a~ling
Oh death where is thy sting
The bells of Hell will ring, ting-a-ling
For you but not for me
Oh, ting—a-ling-a-ling, blow it out your ass
Ting-a-ling-a-ling ling, blow it out your ass
Ting-a-ling-a-ling ling, blow it out your ass
Better days are coming bye and bye
YOU CA1T TELL A EIGHTER PILOT
(Tune- Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory )
By the ring around his eyeball
You can tell a bombardier
You can toll a bomber pilot
by the spread around his rear
You can tell a navigator
By his seztants, maps, and such
You can tell a fighter jockey
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HIM MUCH
11

FATHERS GRAVE
(Tune- Piccadilly Underground)
Oh they're digging up fathers grave to build a sewer
And they're going at the job at no expense
They1 re disturbing his remains, to make way for outhouse drains
To satisfy some brand new resident, G-or Blimey
How father in his day was never a quitter
And I donft suppose he111 be a quitter now
He111 dress up in white sheets, and haunt those outhouse seats
And no one there will sit but he allowes, Oor Blimey

^ow won't there be some bloody constipation
And won't those bloody bastards rant and rave
Which is more than they deserve, for having the bloody nerve
To bugger about with a British workmans grave
TIPTMES AND TAILPIPES ( THE WALL )
(Tune- Bless them all)
Bless them all, bless them all
Bless tiptanks and tailpipes and all
Bless old man Lockheed for building this jet
Boat I know a giay who is cussing him yet
Cause he tried to go over the wall
With tiptanks and tailpipes and all
The needles did cross, -and the wings did come off
With tiptanks and tailpipes and all
Through the wall, through the wall
Through the bloody invisible wall
That transsonic journey is nothing but rough
As bad as a ride on the local base bus
So I'm staying away from the wall
Subsonic for me and that' s all
If you1 re hot you might make it
But you111 probably break it
Your butt or your neck, not the wall
KOREA
(Tune- I'm Looking Over a Pour Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over a well fought over
Korea that I abhor
One for the toney

^■nd two for the show
Ridgeway said stay
But we want to go.
There's no use explaining
Why we're remaining
We got what we were fighting for
KOREA, KOREA, and diarhea
To make the rice grow some more
12

TBS AIR ?ORCB LAMEST
(Tune- The Battle Hym of the Republic)
Mine eyas have seen the days of men who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts that laughed at death, who lived for nothing hut to fly
But now those hearts are grounded, and those days are long gone "by
The Air "Farce !s gone to hell
Chorus:
G-lory flying regulations, have them read at every station
Crucify the man that breaks them, the Air Forces gone to hell
My hones h:ve felt their pounding throb, a hundred thousand strong
A mingty airborne legion set tc right the deadly wrong
But now it's only memory4 it only lives in song
The Air ^orce^ gone to hell
1 have seen them in their T-bolts, when their eyes were dancing flame
I've seen their screaming power dives, that blasted G-oeringTs name
But now they fly like sissies and they hang their heads in shame
Their spirit's shot to hell
jOnce they flew B~26Js through a living hell of flak
And bloody dying pilots, gabe their lives to bring them back
But now they all pl.ey "Clsg pong In "tile oparatioTu* fchack
Their technique1s gone to hell
The lordly flying fortress and the liberator too
Once wrote the doom of Germany, with contrails in the blue
But nnv; the skies are empty, and our planes are wet with dew
And we can't fly for hell
You have heard your pounding 5C!s blaze from wings of polished steel
The purring of your Merlin was a song i our heart could feel
But now the L-5 chains yon with its moanin groanin squeal
And it won't climb for hell
l«ve yon ever climbed a lightening up to ^frhere the air is thin
Have yon stuck her long nose downward, just to hear the screaming din
Have you tried to do it lately, better not yourll auger in
And then you1!! sure to catch hell
I have seen them in their Sabre's, when their eyes were dancing flame
I have seen their screaming power dives that blasted Stalin's name
But now they fly like sissies and they hang their heads in shame
Their spirit's shot to hell
Hap Arnold built" a fighting team that sang a fighting song
About the wild blue yonder in the days when men were strong
But now we1 re closely supervised for fear we may do wrong
The Air force's gone to hell
Vie were cocky bold and happy when we played the angel's game
>Je split the blue with buzzing, and we rolled our way to fame
But now that's all verboten and we're all so goddamn tame
Our spirit's shot to hell (C0nd't)
13

THE AIR jTORCE IAM3NT (COHD*T)
One day I huzzed an airfield with another reckless chap
We flew a hot formation with his win^tlp in my lap
Brit there ls a nev directive and we'll h°ve no more of that
6r yon will hum in hell
Mine eyes get dim with tears when I recall the days of old
When pilots took their choice of heing old or young and "bold
Alas I have no choice and I will live to he quite old
The Air Force Ts gone to hell
But smile awhile my pilots tho your eyes nay still he wet
Someday we1!! he in heaven where the rules have not heen set
And God will snow us how to huzz and roll and. really let—
Ihe Air Force fly like hell
Chorus: #2
Glory no more regulations, rip them down at every station
Ground the gu}^ that tries to make one, and let us fly like hell
VJHH3T YCUH LSAT^S HAViS TUHJLHD TO SILTEEH
(Tune— Silver threads a^ong the gold)
When your leaves have turned to silver
villi you loveus just the same
Oh, we111 always call you__________________
Isn't it a hloody shame
To the days at Itazuke
And the parties that ^Te knew
"hen your leaves h-^ve turned to silver
You can stick them up your flue
FLAX SEC'ffiS
(Tune- April Showers)
Although Fl-k showers, may come your way
They111 hring the panic, that makes you say
My fuel is Josephine, I'm a;oing home
So if you want to stay and fight, ycv may
Stay and fight alone
I've added throttle, I'm on ry way
I111 live to come hack sone other day
So keep on strafing that position
And Knock it out ftr me
I'm just a close supporter, can't you see
14

AIR FORCE 801
(Tune- Wabash Cannonball)
Listen to the rumble, and hear old Merlin roar
Ifm flying over Moji, like I never flew before
Hoar the mighty rush of * the slipstream, and hear old Merlin moan
1*11* wait 4'Tv£t emd'-eay & prayer, and hope it gets me home
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I ln turning on the downwind leg,. my prop has overrun
My coolant !s overheated, the gauge says 1—2-1
Youfd bettor get the crash crew, and get them on the ran
Air Force 8il this is Itazuke tower
I cannot call the crash crew, this is their coffee hour
Tnn7re not cleared in the pattern, now that is plain to see
So take it on around again, we have some VH^s
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
ITm turning on the final, and running on one lung
ITm gonna land this Mustang, no matter what you say
I!ve gotta get my charts fixed up, before that judgement day
Itazuke tower, this is Air- Force 801
I'm turning en the downwind leg, I see you biscuit gun
My enginers runnin ragged, and the coolant's gonna blow
Ifn gonna orang a Mustang, so look out down below
Air Force 301, this is jud^emant day
You're in pilots heaven, and you are here to stay
You just bought a Mustang, and you bought it vill
The famous iiir Force 301 was sent straight down to hell
piiiTS iahsht
(Tune- If I Had the *ings Of an Angel)
Now listen all you pilots and you airmen
-<e will tell you a story sad but true
Of many who near wings but are not happy
Gather round while we sing this song to you
The many who '-ear wings but are not happy
^ear a smile on their lips, not in their hearts
They1 re overjoyed to wear the badge of an airman
Biat are sod in getting off to such bad starts
A reason there must be for discontentment
Why tho gloom as dark as any blacked out loop
Just ask them one and all and they will tell you
ITro not a member of the 312th Fighter Gro.-p
15

PILOTS WOE
Prom the runways down at Yotmgstown
To Geneva on the lake
To the dear old Airway Inn, we love so well
You will hear the folks all say
Ho matter where you go
It*s the 86th that always leads the way
We1 re poor JET PILOTS
Without any pay
Wefre all "been grounded "because it*s too hot
We!re doomed to set here till eternity
Oh lord just give me a Mrd thats got A/B
AIR FORCE EIM
Prom the Biltmore in Los Angeles
To the motels in Berdoo
If the Navy asks a lady
She will say to hell with you
If the Amy or the Navy
Ever gaze on heavens shores
They will find the Angels shacking up
With the U.S. AIR FORCE........\
TO WOMAN
Here!s to woman,, the human vine
Buds each month, and hlooms in nine
The only thing this side of hell
That can empjry the nut without cracking the shell
Here's to that moment of sweet repose
When it!s helly to belly and toes to toes
And after that moment of sweet delight
It's ass to ass for the rest of the night.♦♦« .«♦
15A

P^JRSJLOL^ J? ILL TnJ THAT
(Tuae- Barnacle Pill the Sailor)
The idr Corps ±Q the life for me, said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor
I111 jump my ship and leave the sea and he an aviator
I'll fly so high ITli reach the sky, gravitation Ifll defy
I111 make the people moan and cry, said Barnacle Pill, the Sailor
Pretty soon You* 11 lose that grin, said the fair young maiden
Pretty scon yen111 lese that grin, said the fair young maiden
I lm rough and tough, I know my stuff, said Bill, the Aviator
I'll fly this ship till tfve had enough, said Bill, the Aviator
I'feno^x-'i strut? I knots'a fin, I knew a "barrel roll and a spin
I know a prop, I knew a knick, and I knew an elevator
Ton1 re out of gas and must go dcwnf wailed the fair young maiden
lou1 re cut of gas and must go dov-nf wailed the fair young maiden
I!m a cokeyed Finn if Ifll give in, roared Bill the Aviator
I1!! fight this ship with a flyers grin, reared Bill, the Aviator
He kicked the har and nulled the stick, which didnH seem to do the triek
And he hit the ground like a t^n of trick, poor Barnacle Bill, The Sailer
Here13 sop-e flowers f-r his grave, s'^hhed the fair y.'^ung maiden
Here!s s^me flovers f-^r his grave, s^tfeed the fair young maiden
ITAZUK^ ©RT
(Tune- When ynu wore a tulip)
Vhen yr/u flew a Mustang, and I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke OBT
Other pilots vent to "briefing
kro stayed in the sack a1 sleeping
Hotter sVnes you'll never see
vfe were hotter than tacasco, when gr^-up pulled each fiasco

^e excelled in proficiency
When y--.u flew a mustang, and I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke OAT
1-Li.hJT Ks IE KYGT6
(Tune- *vk3et He in St* Louis)
Meet me in Ky-to, M~t-

^eet eg at the shrine
Take y<-ur sh^es ^ff when y-u enter
Or yu!li pay a fine
l*e will have s-'-me sukiyaki
Then we111 h?ve a cup of saki
If y-u111 meet me in Ky--t", Mo to
Meet me at the shrine
16

COfcJ OH AivD JOIN THS AIR Jf3GJS
O-me ~n and j-in the "Air Jorce, we1 re a hajny "band they say
T e never d^ a lik of work, just fly around all day
While others "-rk and study hard, and so-^tf gr^w nld and "blind
~^e!ll take to the air without a care, and y-u will never mind
Chorus:
You'll never mind, you'll nevar mind
Oh, come and join the Air iP^rce
And Y-u will never mind
Cime ~n and get promoted as high as yu desire
You're riding <m a gravy train when youJre an Air T^rce flyer
But just when you1 re ah out to he a general you1!! find
The engine c-ugh, the wings fall ~>ff, and you will never mind
Y ufre flying over the ocean, ym hear your engine spit
You see ymr prop cme to a stop, The god damn engine^ quit
The ship won't f l^at, you cannot svim, the shore is mi!es "behind
Oh, what a dish for the crabs and fish, hut you will never mind
I fly up t- the Yalu, in my ln-86
And here's one thing that you can sent to- Congress in your TWX
Ixye only, go-t one engine, Jack, and if that bastard q its
It will be up there all by itself, cause I will shit and git
Oh, someday you'll meet a Mig-15, He !li sh~ot y-u down in flames
No use in belly aching and calling the "bastard names
Y-^u1!! lose your wings, d^.nrt worry mac, another pair ycu!ll find
You'll fly with Fete and the angels sweet, and yu will never bind
Oh, ¥e?re just a hunch of Air F-rce lads, and we d^nJt give a dam*
About the groundling*s p'int of view and ail that sort of ham
We want a hundred thousand shi^s of each and ev-ery kind
And new we ve got cur own Air IPcrce, so we will never mind
How we*re the operations hunch, and ve don't give a damn
About those paper shufflin tyues, with heads just like a ham
;'e w^nt a hundred ulanes or so, ail ready on the line
And they c n pad those swivel chairs, and ve will never mind
Oh, come and get your brassy rank as high as you desire
You!re riding on a ravy train, when you*re in the iidmin1 mire
Tr.e ones and fours have room for more, or s: they always find
-fith nor.es in place, ve dcn!t mean en the face, you will never mind
17

TITANIC
th, they "built the ship Titanic, and when they had it through
They thought they had a ship, that the water would n4f*r come through
But the lord almighty* s hand, said the ship would never land
It was a ad when that great shij; went down
Chorus:
0h it was sad, -©h it was sad
It was sad when that great shi]> went down
T# the bottom of the----
Husbands and wives, lttie bittie children lost their lives
It was sad when that great ship went down
THvas r>xx a tuesday mornt they were nearing 3nglands shore
Ana the rich refused t^ associate with the poor
So* they -out the poor below where they were the first to go
It was sad when that great ship went down
They were nearing Englands shore and were heading for the d**ek
';-hen the old ship Titanic "began to reel and rock
fh the captain tried t" wire huth the wire ^'as on fire
It was sad when that great ship went down
Then the ship lie^an to list, and the lights began to flicker
And a drunk cried out, my G--d where Is ny likker
3c they grought out the settle and they passed it all around
It was sad when that great ship went down
They swung the lifeboat? out, o'er the dark and stormy sea
And the band struck up with Nearer My God to Thee
Little children wept and cried as the waves swept o'er the siie
It was sad when that great ship went down
?}!£> LITTLE GR«ilY HAT
Oh the pale moon shone on the tar—room floor
The bar was closed f~r the night
Then rait of his hole came the little gvej rat
He lapped up the lienor on the tar-room floor
Ind bp,ck on his haunches he sat
And all night long you could hear him call
Bring on your goddamn cat
•ff ws Gt
(Tune- USAF S-.mg)
Sack we come, off of a ^-ne hour test hop
JFrniT; nVer the land and over the sea
For tuis feat we get a raise In rank
Ten days leave, and a WG
£eros all, as you can judge by medals
dot a lot, and we'll get some mere
1 e're ^ut to conquer, and ve will
For nothing can stop the U#S# Air Force
18

KAFAlM
($uije~ Titanic)
It was up by scnori where the Yalu meets the 9ea
I was out on a recce to see what I could see
Vhen I spied a farmer man with his pitchfork in his hand
It vas sad when my napalm went down
Chorus: It was sad, oh it was sad
It was sad when my napalm went down (hit the farmer)
There were husbands and wives
Itty "bitty children lest their lives
It was sad when my napalm went down
It wa* up "by Euniri where I won my TfFC
I was out '-■n a recce to see what I could see
When -1 spied a church below and I let my rochets go
It was sad when those rockets went down
Chryus: ^t was sad, oh it was sad
It was sad when those rockets went down (^it the steepL^)
All the people ran like hell
When those rockets hit the hell
It was sad when those rockets ^ent down
It was up by Sinanju where I knew that I was through
The 5$Ts and the kOls had shot my turbine through
It vas shen I hit the silk, oh my {lod I strained my milk
It was sad when the rilot wont down
Chorus: It was cad, ^h it was sad
It was sad when that pil-^t went down (Hit the bottom)
Ihere were husbands and wives
Itty bitty children lost their lives
It vas sad when that pilot went down
CHICKS SitfG

^e had some chickens, no eggs would they lay
e had s^-me chickens, no eggs would they lay
My wife said, honey, it * s striking me funny
ire!re losing money, no eggs would they lay
6ne day a rooster flew Into the yard
And caught the poor chickens completely off £:uard
Ihey(re laying eggs now, Just like they used to
Ever since that rooster, flew into the yard
They're laying eggs now, just like they used to
ever since that rooster, flew Into the yard
1«-

Afl-p I ISARSBl^ A3«i.JT FLYIflG- FROM HIM
(Tune- I learned about 'Women From Her)
Ifve * handled the*stick and the'rudder
I've flo^n quite a.lot in my tine
I1ve had my share of instructors
And sAme of Vhe "bunch were fine
A bowlegged fellow from Princeton
And one that: was drained *at fornell
And a fellow fjom Brooks;' but they gave him the hooks
And the Shavetail that gave too hell
The fellow from prinyeton was steady
He taught me to t:ake6ff and land
He1d set her do'wn on'three point6
And loop her to beat tke bani
But when I went up for a solo
The Jennie was steady fend trim
Veil, I landed that ship, hut I busted my kip
And I learned ab-ut flying form him
The man ."for •ornell was a had one
A snn-of~a~£cun I will say
The dirty tail-spin he gave me

^ill last for many a day
I donated a luneh to the cockpit
But'he dived an*; he spun her again
He gave me a howl when I ducked for the cowl
And I learned ab^ut flying from him
The fellow from" Brooks used the G-os^ort
And he talked through a lung rubber tube
All that I heard was he swearing
He spotted me for a boob
Z111 never forget one bad tailspin
He yelled, kick the rudder you siim?
3ut I dionTt kick, I just wiggled the stick
And I learn eel about flying from him
At last I came to formation
And took a fact ship from the line
I made the first turn a humming
And brought her back upright just fine
I sped up the ship without thinking
And hit number two in the wing
And—When I got well, the CQ gave me hell
And I learned ab^-ut flying from him
I've handled the stick tuid the rudder
I*ve flown auite a lot in my time
I]ve had my share of instructors
And some of the bunch were -fine
But take some straight dope from a flyer
An A go with the navy to sea
JV-r the ships they have there can laod anywhere
-and learn about flying from me«
2K

WE .OK e?,JL7) *97
There were 5*7 airplanes warming up on the apron
Not enough rnom you couli see
Sov the first ninety-six were of recent construction
3ttt the last on vas a ?iffcJr-one 3)
She v?as old !97 and she had a fine record
But she hadn't "been flown that year
;And she creaked and groaned w'nen they started her engine
."For she knew that her time wo.s near
A Second Lieutenant va der'ed into operations
And he asked £'>r a ship or two
And they said, -Young man, we are very short of airplanes
But we*ll see what we can do.
nHow the first forty-seven are reserved for Majors
And the Captains have the next forty-nine
Put there's one more ship m the end ::f the apron
The lost ship upon the line •
He was headed for ;vV-nciu and -fr^jm there to Ohinhae
And he had to make that flight
So he said, "O.K., if y-u give me a clearance
I will get there sometime tonight*
Oh, he flew over laej---n and the Taegu airstrip
And the ceiling began t-■ fail
And the clouds closed d-^wn on the tops of the mountains
And he couldn't see the grouni at ail
'^rle flew through rain and he .flew through a snowstorm
Till the light began to fail
*vhen he found a railroad going in his direction
^nd he said, ':l!il get there by raii.n
i-e 1-uew d"wn a valley and he dodged through the mountains
And he kei,t that road insight
Till the rails disappeared through a hole in the mountains
And he ended his last long flight
There was -Id 971 >'ith her n-se in the mountain
And her wheels upon the track
And her -throttle was "bent in the forward position
Put her engine was facing back
IT-vw ladles release listen and. heed my warning
Prom this time ever on
Never speak harsh w#rds to your f'iyboy husband
Ee may leave you and never return.
21

SAFE HMD MIL
(Tune- Wreck of the Old 97)
They gave him his orders at old Itazuke
Saying, "Bill, you're 'way "behind time"
Take this aafe hand mail in your way weary mustang
And put 'er in Nagoya on time
Bill turned and he said to his /black, greasy, crew-chief
nIs my spam-can ready to roll?
Just head !er down the runway and open up the throttle
And I111 call Camel Control/1
There was one dark cluud between Bofu and Nagoya
But Bill was a gauge pilot bold
It was in this cloud that he spun all his gyros
And his Mustang did three snap rolls
He came roarin' down the "bottom doin' a million miles an hour
When the tip-tanks came off with a scream
They found him in the wreck with his hand on the throttle
Still flying the Tokyo "beam
Ifare-thee well, oh fare-thee well
Old Bill broke his mustang all to hell
There111 be no more suki-haki at good old Itazuke
Fare-thee well, oh fare-thee well
MOONSHIBB
(Tune- You are my Sunshine)
You are my moonshine, my only moonshine
You guide my fighters, when skies are grey
I chase your bogies, from here to Moji
Just to find they have gone the other way
The other day boys, as I was flying
I.heard moonshine controller say
"I've got a bogie down by Kurume
Won't you head your jet that-a-way?"
He said he had me in radar contact
And I believed him like a dope
I flew to Moji - and still no bogie
He had chased a fly across the scope
You were my moonshine, my only moonshine
How cor.Td you let me down this way
My chute was swingin1 - they heard me singin*
Won't you take that moonshine away
22

HERE'S TO THE REGULAR AIR FORGE
(Tune- My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
In peace time the regulars are happy
In peace times they1 re happy to serve
But let them get into a fracas
and they'll call out the (rod Damn reserves
Chorus: Call out, call out
Call out the God Damn reserves, reserves
Call out, Call out
Oh, call out the Cod Damn reserves
Here's to the regular Air Force
They have such a wonderful plan
They call up the God Damn reservist
Whenever the shit hits the fan
They call up every old pilot
They call ud every young man
The reservists they go to Korea
The regulars stay in Japan
Here's to the regular Air Force
With medals and badges galore
If it weren't for the God Damn reservist
Their ass would "be dragging the floor
Chorus 2: Fight on, fight on
Fight on, regular Air Jcrce
Fight on, fight on♦.
Fight on, fight on
Fight on regular Air^Force
Fight on
SPRING TIME ON THE YAHJ
(Tune- When It's Spring Time in the Rockies)
When it's spring time on the Yalu and the Mig!s come out to play
And the contrails run in circles, fighter pilots earn their pay
We'll hold our triggers steady when our sights are zeroed in
We'll hold our glasses ready when they pass out rum and gin
When it's spring time on the Yalu and the napalm is in bloom
And ynur 50*8 do the talking and it's just a Mig and you
Once again you'll hear me whisper that my fuel is running low
When it's spring time on the yalu then it's time for us to go
23

TO THE SECULARS
(Tune- Mr. and Mrs*_ Mississippi)
I won t forget korea
I canf t forget Kunsan . - <•.
Tor Syngman Rhee and Joe Stalin
Have made me fell at home
I flew across the bombline
And got a hole or two
But all I got was a crock of shit
From yon and yon and yon
Chorus: Oh I was called to risk my ass
and save the U.E". too
But all I got was a crock of shit
From you and you and you
The AA was terific
The small arms were intense
While flyboys "bombed the front lines
The division did the rest
While the regulars held their desk jobs
The reserves were called en masse
For the U.1T. knew the air reserve
Was the one to save their ass
I love you C-r>ar old USA'
With all my aching heart
If I hadn!t joined the damn reserves
We'd never've had to part
But xve won't cry and we won't squawk
For we are not alone
For one of these days the regular1s !11 come
And we can all go home
How we don't mind the hardships
We've faced them in the past
But we wonder if our congressmen
Have had forties up their ass
We have to fight to save the peace
That's what the bastards said
But when you check the casualties
you111 find no senators Tead
I'm going to raise a family
When this war is through
I hope to have a bouncing boy
To tell my stories to
But someday when he grows up
If he joins the air reserve
I'll kick his ass from dawn to dusk
For that's what he!ll deserve
24

CO PILOTS LAMENT
(Tune- The cowboys Lament)
I'm the co-pilot. . . 1 sit on the right
It's up to me to be quick and bright
I never talk back, for I'll have regrets
And I must remember what the captain forgets
I make out the flight plan and study the weather
Pull up the gear and stand by to feather
Make out the mail forms and do the reporting
And fly the old crate when the captain is snoring
I take the readings and adjust the power
Put on the heaters when we're in a shower
Tell where we are on the darkest night
And do all the book work without any light
I call for my captain and buy him cakes
I always laugh at his corny jokes
And once in a while when his landings are rusty
I come through with, "Gaud, but it's gusty,"
All in all, I'm a general Stooge
As I sit to the right of this man scrooge
But maybe some day with great understanding-
He111 saften a bit and give me a landing
BOOZBP BUDDIES
A fighter pilot lay dying
The medics had left him for dead
All around him women were crying
And these are the words that he said
Take the tailpipe of my stomach
Take the burner out of my brain
Take the turbine out of my kidney
And assemble the unit again
Por we are the boys who fly high in the sky
Bosom buddies while boozin'
We are the boys they sent out to die
Bosom buddies while boozin'
Up in headquarters they sing and they shout
Talking of things they know nothing about
We are the boys who fly high in the sky
Bosom buddies while boozin
Bosom buddies while boozin
Bosom buddies while boozin
25

STAND TO YOUR GLASSES
A poor aviator lay a-dying
At the end of a "bright summers day
And his comrads were gathered around him
To carry his fragments away
Oh, his "bird was pil&d on his wishbone
And his engine was wrapped round his head
And he wore a spark plug on each elbow
Twas plain he would shortly be dead
Oh, he spat out a valve and a gasket
As he stirred in the sump where he lay
And to his sorrowing comrades
These brave parting words did he say
I'll be riding a clud in the morning
With no merlin before me to course
So come along and get busy
Another lad now wants the hearse
Take the manifold out of my larynx
And the cylinders out of my brain
Take the piston rods out of my kidneys
And assemble the engine again
With rusted fifties and rockets
ith pilots as old as they seem
We fly these worn out mustangs
Against the MIG-15
Forgotten by the land that bore us
Betrayed by the ones we held dear
The good have all gone before us
And only the dull are still here
So stand to your glasses steady
This world is a world full of lies
Here*s a toast to those dead already
And here's to the next man to die
SONG OF THE ZULU WARRIORS
Ay sigga sumba suraba srumba
Ay zigga zumbg, zumba zay
Ay zigga zumba zumba zumba
Ay zigga zumba zumba zay
Hold fem down, you Zulu warriors
Hold !em down* you Zulu Chiefs
Chiefs Chiefs Chiefs
Chi-ga-ma-lie-----oh
26

I WASTED WINGS
I wanted wings till I got the god-damned things
Nov; I don't want them any more
They taught me how to fly then they sent me off to die
I've had a "belly full of war
You can save those Zero's for the god-damned heros
Distinguished flying crosses do not compensate for losses, Buster
Chorus: I wanted wings till 1 got the god-damned things
Now I don't want them any more
I1!! take the dames while the rest go down in flames
I've no desire to he burned
Air combat spells romance, but it makes me wet my pants
I'm not a fighter I have learned
You can save those Mitsubitsi's for those other sons-o-bitches
Cause I'd rather lay a woman than be shot down in a Grumman,-Buster
ITo^r, I'm too young to die in a damned old PBY
That's for the eager not for me
I won't trust to luck to be picked up by a duck
After I've crashed into the sea
Caused K'd rather be a bell hop than a flyer on a flat top
with my hand around a bottle not around a god-damned throttle,- Buster
How, I'do&'t care to tour over Berlin or the Ruhr
Flak always makes me "nark my lunch
I get no Hey,. &ey, when they holler bombs away
I'd rather be home with the bunch
For there's one thing you can't laugh off
And that's when they shoot your ass off
For I'd rather be home buster with my ass than with a cluster, Buster
They feed us lousy chow but v/e stay alive somehow
On dehydrated eggs and milk and stew
What will they think of next they'll be dehydrating sex
And on that day I'll tell the coach I'm through
For I dearly love my humpin1, and I'd love to do some pumpin'
But KJd rather come with chowder, than to come with lumps of powder, Buster
How the day that we bomber Metz, I ran out of cigaretts
I always smoke one for my gut
They mr.ke them by the ton, but I haven't got one
Oh what I'd give to have a butt
Now the home front may be pitching, but I still will do my bitching
Till I find some real sharp cookie, who can mass produce some nookle,-
Buster,;
27

I WANTED ^ING-S
(Korean Version)
I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things
Now I don't want them any more
I don't want a tour in Korea that's for sure
I've had a belly full of war
I do^'v want my fanny frozen
In tirictt putrid land of Chosen
Fighting MI&'s of Uncle Joe's
In an atmosphere that's frigid frozen, buster
I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things
Now I don't want them any more
I don't want to die over Antung in the sky
MIG-'s always make me barf my lunch
For me there's no Hey, Hey, Screaming
Bogies that-a-way
I'd rather be hone with the bunch
Now there's one t hing yon can't laugh off
And that's when they shoot your ass off
I would rather be home buster
With my ass than with a cluster, Buster
I wanted wings till I got the god-damn things
Now I don't want them any more
SQUADRON SONG
Oh, we are the boys from the 3-8-6
You've heard so much about
Mothers keep their daughters in
whenever we go out
We're always full of whiskey
We're always full of booze
0hr we are the boys from 3-8-6
Now who the hell are youse
As we go marching
And the band begins to P*L*A*Y
You can hear the people shouting
Raggedy Razz, Raggedy Razz
3-8-6
Whowawa
Who owns this club, whowawa
Who owns this club, whowawa
Who owns this club, the people cried
WE own this club
WE own this club
Three eighty sixth squadron we repliedj1
28

GOOD OLD MOUNTAIN DEW
Chorus: They call it that good old mountain dew
And them that refuse it axe few
I111 hush up" my mug if you111 fill up my jug
with that good old mountain dew
There1s an old hollow tree, down the road here from me
Where you lay down a dollar or two
Then you go round the bend, and when you come back again
Tour jug is full of the good old mountain dew
My brother Bill; has a still on the hill
Where he runs off a gallon or two
The buzzards in the skyt get so drunk they con't fly
Just from smelling that good old mountain dew
How my cousin Mort, he is sawed off and short
Only measures bout four foot two
But he thinks he's a giant, when you give him a pint
Of that good old mountain dew
My old aunt June, bought some brand new perfume
And it had such a sweet smelling phew
But to her surprise, when she had it analized
It was nothing but good old mountain dew
The flak gets so thick, that it makes you feel sick
When you've been on a rail cut or two
But you'll never abort, if they'll give you a snort
Of that good old mountain dew
BLOOD ON YOUR TUNIC
An Air Force Lieutenant to Pusan did stole
He'd just come back from a raid on Seoul
When an old M,P„ Sgt said, "Pardon me, sir
There's blood on your tunic and mud on your knees.11
Chorus: La de a, La de a
There !s blood on your tunic
And mud on your knees
$ow look here Sgt, you bloody damn fool
I!ve just come back from a raid on Seoul
Where ack ack is flying and comforts are few
And brave men are dying for bastards like you
Now the old M.P« Sgt said, "Pardon me, sir
But on the Lt# I meant no slur
But the girls down the pusan are hard to please
With blood on your tunic and mud on your knees."
29

THE PO RIVER VALLEY
(Tune- Red Hiver Valley)
To the Po river valley we're going
For to get us some trains and some tracks
But if I had ay say-so about it
I!d still he hack hone in the sack
Come and sit by my side at the briefing
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
To the Po river valley were going
And I'm flying four in flight blue
We went for to check on the weather
And they said it was clear as can be
Now I lost my wingnan 'round the field
And the rest augered in put at sea
S—2 said there's no flak where we're going
S-2 asid there's no flak on the way
There's a dark overcast o'er the target
I'm begining to doubt what they say
A spitfire went by like a whirlwind
And a mustang went by like a breeze
And a C-46 with one feathered
Went by towing five L-3Js
To the Po river valley we're going
And many strange sights we will see
But the one there that held my attention
Was the flak that they threw up at me
FAREWELL TO AUTOTG UNIVERSITY
Farewell to Antung University, I have risen to reality
Forty thousand is no place for me, with MIG-15's in the vicinity

^ith cannon balls flying all around, Makes me wish that I'd stayed on the
ground
I should join the infantry, or take the navy and go out to sea
Where did red leader go, when I called out "Bingo"
That's what I' like to know, just where*n hell did he go
He called "Red flight, BREAK RIGHT," all I did was tuck in tight
He climbed up in the sun and that's where the fun begun.
Plashes behind me, flashes all around
Flashes above me, and flashes on the ground,
I called "Red leader, where in the hell did you roam?
Clear yourself and ride the mach cause I am going home]"
30

BLESS THEM ALL
Bless them all, Bless them all
The needle, the airspeed the hall
Bless all the instructors
„Who taught me to fly
Sent me up to solo and left me to die
So if ever your blow jet should stall
You1re due for one hell of a fall
No lillies or violets for dead fighter pilots
So cheer up my .lads. Bless them all
Bless them all, Bless them all
The long and the shoH and the tall
Bless all the sergeants
The sour puss ones
Bless all the Corporals and their dopey sons
Cause we're saying goodby to them all
The long and the short and the tall
-There1!! he no promotions this side of the ocean
So while we are here bless them all
CHIfOSE BLUES
(Tune- Cigareets and Whiskey)
Once I was happy and had a dear wife
I had enough Yen to last me for life
I met with a Josan and we went on a sp^ee
She started me smokin! and drinkin! Saki
Chorus: Cigareets and Saki and wild wild Josans
They'll drive you crazy, they111 drive you insane
Cigareets and Saki and wild wild Josans
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
I went to Asmuchi, a hath for to take
I met me a Josan who was on the make
The bath it was hot and the Josan was too
If you go to Asmuchi my "boys you are through
I went to my room, some sleep for to get
She said no sleep boy, with me there's no sweat
I woke the next morning at quarter past ten
She says, "Hey Yankee, thats four thousand Yen,"
I'm back in Chitose where we sing and we shout
Me and the Doc are sweating it out
He gave me some pills from a jug on the shelf
Then he poured out a dozen or two for himself.
31

CIGiffiETTES MD WHISKEY
Once I was happy when I was a lad
We had no sweat when we flew the Spad
They sent me to YHG-, the Duces to fly
Since that time, live been ready to die.
Take it from me hoys, its quite a plane,
Enough dampners and juices to drive yon insane
Goes from the ground to forty at gate
But after that Pinker ton will want yon to wait.
Delta wings, Q, pots and a crazy cockpit
It1!! drive you apeshit, it'll drive you insane
Ho push rods or cables to bank it or drro
Just turn on the dampners and ride it alive.
Pinkerton tower is built out of glass
It's forty feet high and really has class
They give you s«me trouble when leaving the ground
The Cleveland-center $ust won't let you down
CHORUS:
Pinkerton and Cleveland and wild wild G-asbag
Theyfll drive you ape shit they111 drive you insane
Emergency experiences and ATC clearances
They111 drive you ape, they111 drive you insane.
31A

KUNI*BI AND ANTUNG
(Tune-Cigareets and Whiskey)
Once I was happy and had a good deal
Flew Fox-Eighty-Sixes at old Victorville
They asked for a volunteer, said, "I&L1 take you"
The next thing I knew I was stuck in Taegul
Chorus: Kuni-ri and Antung, and wild wild Pyong-yang
They'll drive you crazy, they111 drive you insane
Quad fifties and forties and one hundred sorties
They111 drive you crazy, they111 drive you insane
We go down to briefing while it is still night
We lift off the runway before it is light
We form in the gloom and we're off on our way
We1 re over the target before it is day
We1 re up to the Yalu, there's cons overhead
We think of the Wheels who are snug in their beds
We drop our big tips and we break to the right
"Josie" we cry -with all of our might
We steer on 280, we1 re up in the soup
We swear that the leader is doing a loop
Break out in the clesr and set down on K-2
Be ea.reful or Willie will write about you
Oh the Chosen is frozen and all wet with ice
From thirty-five thousand she looks mighty nice
But ask a foot soldier and he111 set you plumb straight
It's covered with Reds blood imbeded with hate
Oh the MIG is a blot on the whole human race
A man is a monkey to give one a chase
Here's my description, take warning dear brother
There's fire on one end, but cannons on t'other
Went up to KIG alley, S-2 said "No Sweat"
If I hadn't looked 'round, I'd be up there yet
Six iilGS jumped our ass, and the leader yelled "BREAK"
Got back to K-10, how my knees they did shake
If I fly a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to jam it, my ass Is too sore
They can ram it and jam It for all that I care
Just give me a W'ng job, a desk and a chair
I went on my mission to cut a rail track
They said, "There's no sweat 'cause there ain't any flack"
But the guns from that place would make day out of night
Oh god how I wish all I did \^as dog fight
Oh it's up to the Yalu in my flying machine
The Sui-Ho Reservoir is plainly seen
But IIIG's out of Antung sent sweat down my back
So I head towards Kanggye and get shot down by flack
32

KUNI-RI AND ANTUNG (Con't)
I grabbed those two handles and squeezed---what a sound
A kick in the ass, soon I'm floating toward ground
I showed them my blood chit, they said, "No sweat mac"
They hand me an a Frame, now I '1-1 walking back
HUTCH»s BALLAD
(Tune - Sure a Little Bit of Heaven)
Sure, out target it was bunkers
Way out in the hills so grand
Located in Korea, right next to no-mans land
Our fans now they were G,I*s
And they thought our Mustangs grand
As we circled o'er the target
Watching "Willie Peter"land
But our controller was neurotic
Near the ground he wouldn't go
We toggled off our babies
And we watched them hit below
He had placed his rockets wildly
And he'd fouled the whole damn show
But when we got the gracing
Sure it w.as Zero - Zero
Sure, a little bit of airplane fell
From out the sky one day
It landed west of Pyongyang
Not very far away
Comet Red won't be coming back
It made us very blue
But we went on to our target
And we dropped out babies true
So, we sprinkled it with fifties
-Just to keep their heads down low-
Then we hurried back to S-2
To lie about our show
When you read it in the papers
All about the 18th1 s capers
You will know it's propaganda
For old Barcus, bless his soul
THE CUCKOO SONG
Now the Cuckoo is a strange bird
It sits on the grass
With its wings neatly folded
and its beak up its ass
From this strange position
It seldom does flit
For it's hard to say "Cuckoo"
With a beak full of------Ssreet Violets etc.,
33

SATE A FIGHTER PILOTS ASS
(Tune- Throw a Nickel on the Brum)
I t was midnight in Korea
All the pilots were in bed
When up stepped Colonel___________
And this is what he said
Sabres, gentle Sabres, Sabres one and all
Pilots, gentle Pilots, And all the pilots shouted BALLS
When up stepped a young Lieutenant
With a voice as harsh as brass
"You can Take those God Damn Sabre Jets and shove them up your ass
Chorus: Oh Halleluia, Oh Halleliua, Throw a nickel on the grass
Save a fighter pilots ass
Oh Halleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a nickel on the grass
And you111 be saved
Cruising down the Yalu, doing six-twenty per
There came a call from the Major, ih won't you save me sir
Got three big flak holes in my wings, my tanks ain't got no gas
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, got six MIG's on my ass
I shot my traffic pattern, to me it looked all right
The airspeed read one-thirty, my God I racked it tight
The airframe gave a shudder, the engine gave a wheeze
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, spin instructions please
Pouled up my crcsswind landing, the left wing hit the giround
There came a call from the tower, pull up and go around
I racked the Sabre in the air a dozen feet or more
The engine quit, I almost shit, the gear came through the floor
Split S onto my bomb run, I got too God Damn low
I pressed the bloody vutton, Let both my babies go
I sucked the stick hack in my gut, I hit a high speed stall
How I won't see my mother when the works all done this fall
They sent me up to Pyongyang, the brief said "Skoshe ack ack"
But by the time I got there, my wings were holed \>j flak
My aircraft went into a spin, it would no longer fly
Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, I am too young to die
I bailed out from that Sabre, my landing was top line
With my S and S equipment, I made for our front line
When I opened up my ration tin, to see what was in it
The God Damn Quartermaster, had filled the thing with shit
Now in this Commie prison camp, I am obliged to sit
Por one canot go ver for, an a ration tin of shit
If I am ever free again, I will no longer fly
But I'll have Quartermaster bollix, for breakfast till I die
3<f

SAVE A FIGHTER PILOT'S ASS (C0nft)
Ohf while rolling down the runway, and headed for the ditch
I looked down at my prop, ay &od it*s in high pitch
I pulled hack on the stick, and rose into the air
Glory, Glory, Halleluia, how did I get there
The hoys up from that other group,- they think they are so hot
They hrag about the "Bluetails", that they've so often'shot
One thing they don't rememher, when ere they holler and hoot
Is to look into their mirror, just hefore they shoot
Ihear we're leaving Europe, they say we're going home
They tell us no more wandering-, never more we1!! roam
But' the Colonels up at Langley, are planning on the sly
Just where they're gonna sent us, on our next TDY
I started on my takeoff, I thought the flaps were down
But when I pulled the gear up, the dive brake scraped the ground
The General he smiled at. me, he thought it was great fun
But then I met the E.E*B., Chitose here I come
We flew our Sabres through the war, we flew them far and fast
But when the war was over, we-knew it couldn't last
They sent our old instructors, to teach us all their tricks
So now we!re flying training, behind those dirty pricks
Letting down from forty-four, busting through the mach
that Sabre Jet was moving now, falling like a rock
My boom was ained right at the field, there was an awful sound
Since we{re flying training now, I'm sitting on the ground
I started up into a loop, I thought that I was clear
I pulled up under Colonel Blood, I thought the end was near
I went before the F.E.B, s and they gave me the works
Glory, Glory, Halleluia, what a bunch of jerks
Strafin* on the panel, I amde ny pass too low
There came a call from Melrose, "One more and home you go"
I pulled that Sabre in the flue, she hit a high speed stall
Now I won't see my mother, when the work's all done this fall
Now Ifm in the gutter, with pretzels in my beer
Tiith pretzels in my whiskers, I knew the end was near
Then came this glorious Air Eorce, to save me from the worst
Every body bust a butt and sing the second verse
35

PUSAN U
(Tune- Sioux City Sue)
We were roaming round the countryside
•Twas down near Pusan Bay
We stepped into a local bar
To pass the time away
I met a gal from old Chin Ju
She was a sight to view
I asked her where she came from
And she asid, "Pusan U."
Chorus: Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
The finest school in all the land
The University that's grand
Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
I hail ay Alma Mater
Oh Pusan "3, to yon
I enrolled in tfcat great college
Pounded "by Kim Pac Su
lTwas huilt of honeybuckets
So they called it Pusan U
The smell <dt was terrific
But fortune sav; me through
So now I left this glass
To the school of Pusan U
Chorus: 1h Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
Your course is good for engineers
A-frames, ox carts pulled by steers
Oh Pusan,U, Oh Pusan U
I hail my Alma Mater
Oh Pusan U, to you
I saw a girl most beautiful
She was a sight to view
She won a beauty contest
She was crowned Miss Pusan U
They spotted her in Hollywood
Now she!s a star there too
When asked to what she owes her fame
She says, "Oh Pusan U."
REPEAT FIRST CHORUS:
We havean A-l baseball team
We win our games straight through
They ask us where we come from
And we say, "Pusan U"
We have a pitcher who is tops
Our batters are good too
And every time we come to hat
The crowd yells, "Pusan Un
REPEAT SECOND CHORUS:
36

STRAFIN1 ROUND THE FOUNTAIN
(Tune - She111 Ee Comin Round the Mountain)
Now listen all you airmen young and old
To the tale of Fighter Pilots young and bold
With their fighters painted yellow
Leaping off to contact Mellow
In the crisp Korean air so blue and cold
It was dive bomb old Sinuiju, stop the Reds
Eight one thousand pounders, loader, instand heads
Four birds lined up on the runway
Wish I!d gone to church on Sunday
Hope we catch those lousy Commies in their beds
Twenty thousand over Pyongyang on Northwest
Gas Mask flight about to face the acid test
Till at least the Yalu River
Which makes my liver quiver
With flak guns lined up twenty-four abreast
Dust clouds rool up from Antung cross the way
Twenty swept wing Chinese war birds out to play
Thirty-sevens, twenty-threes
All lit up like Christmas trees
Tip tanks salvced off we leap into the fray
Kimpo tower clear the pattern in great haste
Twenty victory roll out pilots do with grace
It was thrilling^ it was hairy
Near that privilidged sanctuary
S "nghman Rhee will soon be president of this place
Kimpo tower this Is Gas Mask through with this damn war
I am flying on to Taegu
Heading one-five-two to K-2
Cause they're sending back to Moscow for some more
A Navy Prayer
Our father, who art in Washington
Eisenhower is thy name
The Navy's done
The Air Force won
On the Atlantic, as in the Pacific
Give us this day, our appropriations
And forgive us our accusations
As we forgive our accusers
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from Matthews and Johnson
For thine is the power
The B-52 and the Air Force
Forever and ever* Airman
37

THE SCOTCH WEDDING
Prelude: There was a ball a bloody great ball, the ball of Kerrie Muir
Four and twenty prostitutes shaggln on the moor
Oh the King was in his counting house, counting out his wealth
The Queen was in the bed room, playing with herself
Chorus: Singing Irll do ye this time, I'll dee it noo
The mon that did it last night, could na do it noo
Oh the bride was in the bedroom, explaining to the groom
The vag'-na not the rectum, is the entrance to the womb
Oh the parsons wife she was there, seated down in front
A wreath of roses round her neck, a carrot up her cunt
Oh the village parson he was there, and very surprised to see
Four and twenty maidenheady hanging from a tree
Oh the parsons daughter she was there, she had them all in fits
Diving off the mantle piece, and landing on her tits,
They were fucking in the haylofts, fucking in the ricks
You could na hear the music for the slushing of the pricks
They were fucking in the barley, fucking in the oats
Some were fucking sheep and some were fucking goats
Oh the village blacksrnits, he was there, his hammer and his awls
Talking to the queen and showing off his balls
They were fucking in the parlors, fucking on the stairs
You could na see the carpets for the come and curly hairs
The village idiot he was there, a making like a fool
Rilling his foreskin over his head and whistling through his tool
Plowman Jock he was there, the bugger would na dance
Sitting with a hard on, and a waiting for his chance
The firey Colonel he was there, hefd fit amongst the Boers
He jumped upon the table and shouted for the whores
The village cripple he was there, he couldna do ver much
So he laid them on the carpet, and he fucked them with his crutch
The chimneysweep and he was there, we had to put him oot
For every time he farted, he filled the room with soot
F'he village postman he was there, he had a dose of pox
He couldna fuck his lassie so he fucked the letter box
And when the ball was over, and the folks went home to rest
They said they enjoyed the music, but the fucking was the best
38

THE PERSIAN KITTY
The persian kitten perfumed and fair
Stepped out in the garden to get some air
A torn cat lanky, lean, and long
Dirty and yellow cane along
He sniffed at the perfumed persian cat
As she walked by with much eclat
Blinking of a little time to pass
Whispered, "Kitten, you sure got class"

^ow fittin1 and proper the kitten replied
As she arched on whisker over her eye
"I've been raised on pillows of silk,
Never drank nothing but certified milk"
Oh I should he happy with all that I got
I should be happy, but happy I fm not
I should be happy, happy indeed
3Tor you see I'M highly pedigreed"
"Cheer up" said the torn cat with a smile
"Just trust your new found friend for a while
You donJt have to leave your own back fence
Tor kitten all you need is experience"
Tales of joy he then unfurled
As he told her the story of the outside world
Then suggested with a lurid laugh
That they take a little trip down the primrose path
Morning after the night before
When the kitten returned at the hour of four
The innocent look on her eyes had went
And the smile on her face was the smile of content
Months later those kittens of pedigreed fame
They weren't persian, they were black and tan
And she told !em that their father was a travelin' man
A rack em up, shack em up travelin( man
TATOOED LADY
(Tune- My Indiana Home)
I married me a tatooed lady
To roam around her body was a treat
And every night before retiring
I'd pull the covers back and take a peek
Around her waist was Pennsylvania, and on her hip was Tennessee
And tatooed on her back was dear old Hackensack
From the state of New Jersey
Now on her chest was west Virginia
Through those Mils I loved to roam
But when I saw the moonlight shining on the Wabash
Then I recognized my Indiana home
39

CALL OUT THE ARMY AND THE NAVY
Monday I touched her on the ankle
uesday I touched her on the knee
Wednesday with success, I lifted up her dress
Thursday her chemise, G-or Blimey
-Friday I put my hand upon it
Saturday night she gave me balls a tweak
And Sunday after supper, I rammed the old hoy up her
And now I!M paying seven "boh a week, G-or Blimey
Chorus: I donVt want to join the Army
I don*t want to go to war
I just want to hang around
Picadilly underground
Living of the earnings of a high born lady
Don-'t want a bullet up my arse hole
Don't want me buttocks shit away
I'd rather be in England
In Jolly Jolly England
And fornicate me bloddy life away
Gall out the Army and the $avy
Call out the rank and file
Call out the royal territorials
They face danger with a smile
Call out the boys of the old brigade
That made old England free
You can call out me Mother
Me sister and me Brother
But for G-od's sake don't call me, G-or Blimey
TAEGU GIRLS
We are from Taegu, Taegu are we
We don't believe in virginity---Oh horse-shit
We donft use candles we use broom handles
We are the Taegu girls
And every night at twelve on the clock
We watch the white man piss on the ROK
We like the way he handles he cock
We are the Ta.egu girls
And every year at our annual dance
We go around without any pants
We like to give those pilots a chance
We are the Taegu, talk about your Taegu, We are the taegu girls
40

POOR LITTLE ANGELINE
She was sweet sixteen, s>e was the village queen
Pure and innocent was Angeline
She never had a thrill, was a. virgin still
Poor little Angeline
Now at the village fair, the Squire was there
Masturbating on the village square
When he chanced to see, the dainty little knee
Of poor little Angeline
So he raised his hat, and he said your cat
Has been ridden o!er and smashed quite flat
But it isn*t too far, and I*ve got my car
Poor little Angeline
N0w they hadn't gone far, when he stopped the car
And dragged her in to the nearest bar
Where he filled her with gin, to tempt her to sin
Poor little Angeline
When he!d filled her quite well, he dragged her to a de
Where he attempted to give her hell
By trying his luck, at a low down fuck
With poor little Angeline
With a cry of rape, he raised her cape
Poor little girlie there was no escape
Unless someone came, to save the name
Of poor little Angeline
But sad to say, on that very same day
KE]d been sent to jail and there to stay
For coming in his pants at the local dance
With poor little Angeline
Nov; the window of his cell, overlooked the dell
Wherein the squire was giving her hell
As they lay on the grass, he recognized the ass
Of poor little Angeline
So with a mighty start, and a hearty fart
He blew the prison bars wide apart
And he ran like shit, lest the squire should split
Poor little ^ngeline
When he got to the spot, and saw what was what
He tied the villains pinis in a knot
As he lay upon his guts, he got a kick in the guts
From poor little Angeline
Con!t next page
a

POOR LITTLE ANGELINE (Con't)
Oh dear blacksmith bold, I love you true
And I can tell by your trousers that you love me too
As I'M all undressed, you had better do the rest
Said poor little Angeline
THE RIVER RAN RED
(Tune - Ritanic)
Number one was having fun, number two got quite a few
Number four got some more as he said
Oh the river ran red with the blood of the dead
As we came around and tried to get some more
The road was full of ruts, and the ruts were full of guts
Little children sucking tits had them shot right from their mits
Oh the river ran red with the blood of the dead
As we came around and tried to get some more
There were women in the crown, little children cried aloud
But they all carried guns for the foe
There were some who turned around, when they heard that awful sound
As wo came around" and tried to get some more
Oh it seemed an awful crime, as we shot them in their prime
But they got number three, don't you see
Yes they shot him down with flak, and they broke his bloody back
As we came around and tried to get some more
Number one was having fun, Number two got quite a few
Number four got some more as he said
Oh the river ran red with the blood of the dead
As we came around and tried to get some more
STRAFERS
When I was a cadet, an innocent lad
The Chaplin told me the good from the bad
And of all his words, these were his last
Never fly high and never fly fast
So I joined up the strafers with these words in mind
And off to New Guinea did go
But when I got there I was to find
The strafers fly too gosh dam low.. «0h
We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare
There's smoke in the cockpit and grey in out hair
The tracers looks fine as strafing we go
But brother you're flying just too gosh darn low
42

OLD SOLDIERS NEVER DIE
Then up and spoke a sailors wife
And she was dressed in green
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a submarine
She had a submarine my boys
With conning tower complete
And in the other corner she: Jhadf.half the fucking fleet
Chorus: She ha.d those dark and dreamy eyes
With a whiz bang up her nighty
Singing Hi Ja.ck, come and have a skin back
Come and have a bang at Liza, singing
Old solders never die, they just smell that way
Then up and spoke the gunners wife
And she was full of fun
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a vickers gun
She had a vickers gun my boys
With the breech block and the sear
And In the other corner she had provisions for a year
Then up and spoke the pilots wife
And she was chewing gum
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a flftt-one
She had a fifty-one my boys-
Two napalms and six guns
And In the other corner she had rockets by the tons
Then up and spoke the skippers wife

^nd she was dressed in black
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a fishing smack
She had a fishing smack my boys
The oarlocks and the oars
And in the other corner she had bags and bags of sores
Then up and spoke the jockey^s wife
and she was dressed in red
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a horses head
She had a horses head my boys
The bridle -and the bit
And In the other corner she:\ had bags and gabs of shit
Then up and spoke the brewers wife
And she was dressed in grey
And in one corner of her funny little thing
She had a brewers dray
She had a brewers dray my boys
The barrels and the beer
And in the other corner she had syph and ghonnorhea
A3

ON TOP OF OLD PYONGYANG
(Tune-On top of old Smokey)
On top of old Pyongyang, all covered with flak
I lost my poor wingman, he111 never come back
For flying is pleasure, and dying is grief
And a quick triggered commie, is worse than a thief
For a thief will just rob,you, and take all you save
But a quick triggered Commie, will send you to the grave
And the grave will destroy you, and turn you to dust
Not one MIG in a thousand, a Sabre Jet can trust
Now when the bad weather, keeps .the ships down
All day we can hear, this horrible sound
Attention all pilots, now listen to this
There111 be a short meeting, That you dare not miss
They'll give us some lectures, then give us some more
But we have all heard them, twenty-five times or more
Nov/ listen you trainees, you cant fight the group
Whatever they tell you, is superfluous poop
ON TOP OF OLD FUJI
On top of old Fuji, a.11 covered with snow
I lost my jet pilot, from flying too low
He put on an air shoiv, he did it for me
On top of Mt Fuji, he- clobbered a tree
With throttle wide open, he made his last pass
At altitude zero, he busted his ass
FED NOSED MIGS
(Tune ~ Shrimp Boats)
Oh the red nose MiG's are comin!
Not a Sabre in sight
Oh the red nose MiG's are comin'
And they want to fight
Let's hurry, hurry, hurry home
Oh won't you hurry, hurry, hurry home
Oh the red nose MiG's are comin
Not a Sabre in sight
MIG 15
(Tune-I T'ought I taw a Puttycat)
I fought I taw a MiG-15, A twee ping up on me
I did, I did, I tew him, As big as he could be
I am that great big M5G-15, Ivan Is my name
And If I catch that '84, I'll shoot him down in flame
UU

ON TOP OF MT M&ALY
On top of Mount Mealy
All covered with snow
Lie an all-weather pilot
and his fearless HO
How he put on an air show
He did it for ne
At altitude zero
He clobbered a tree
His gyros did tumble
he guages did lie
but with canopy under
is no way to fly
With a hundered percent on
He made his last pass
With throttles wide open
He busted his ass
He said that he loved me
and would do rae no harm
On top of Mount Mealy
He purchased the farra
Bye Bye Cherry
Back your ass against the wall
Here I come balls and all
Bye Bye Cherry
I ain't got a helluva lot
But what I got will fill your twat
Bye Bye Cherry
Wrapyour legs around ne tighter
make my load come a little lighter
Shake your ass and wiggle your tits
Till my big John Henry spits
Bye Bye Cherry
4^-A

THE CAMEL
The crew they all ride in the dory
The captain he rides in the gig
It don!t go a damn bit faster
But it makes the old "bastard, feel big
Chorus: Signing toraly toraly toraly A
Toraly Toraly A
It don't go a damn bit faster
But it Bakes the old bastard feel big
The sexual life of a camel
Is greater than anyone thinks
In moments of amorous passion
He often makes love to the sphinx
Now the sphinx1s posterier organs
Are blocked by the sands of the nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the sphinx1 s inscrutable smile
Exhaustive experimentation
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall
Has proved that the ass of a hedgehog
Can hardly be buggered at all
Oh why don't the boys down at Harvard
Do like the boys down at Yale
They pull all the quills from the hedgehog
So it *s easy to grab by the tail
Here!s to the girls of North Adams
And here's to the streets that they roam
And here's to their dirty faced bastards
Cod bless them they may be our own
Here's to old fort Massachusetts
And here's to the old Mohawk trail
And here's to those Indian maidens
They gave us our first piece of tail
OLD B'SER BOTTIES
It was only an old beer bottle
floating on the foam
It was only an old beer bottle
Ten thousand miles from home
In side was a pieee of paper
With these words written on
Who ever finds this bottle
Will find the beer all gone

CATS ON THE ROOF TOP
The hippopotamus so it seems * seldom If ever has vet dreams
But when he does, he comes in streams
As we revel in the joys of copulation
Chorus: Gats on the roof tops, cats on the tiles
Cats with the syphillis, cats with the piles
Cats with their ass holes wreathed in smiles
As we revel in the joys of copulation
Down in the Pampas, down in the grass, mama armadillo has an iron
But papa armadillo has a prick of brass /bound Ass
As we revel in the joys of copulation
Way down south where the alligators roar
There isn't such a thing as an alligator whore
Cause all the alligators are too sore
As we revel In the joys of copulation
Oh the elephant is a funny old bloke
Who very seldom gets his poke
But when he does he lets it soak
As we revel in the joys of copulation
Oh the ostrich is a funny old dick
It isn!t very often that he dips his wick
But when he does he dips it quick
As we revel in the joys of copulation
__________is a friend of mine
His dub he very seldom pounds
But when he does the walls resound
As we revel in the joys of copulation
POOR BUT HONEST
Oh she was poor but she was honest
The victim of a rich mans whim
When she met that southern gentleman- Leo Daniels
And she had a child by him
Now he sits in the governers mansion
Making laws for all mankind
While she walks the streets of Austin- Austin Texas
Selling chunks of her behind
It1s the rich what gets the glory
It's the poor what gets the blame
It's the same the whole world over - Over Over
Now ain't that a Cod Damn shame
46

PIPER LAURIE
Salvation Army, Salvation Army
Standing-on the corner in the night Bight night
Beating on your £rum with your finger up your hung
Singing mama hold my pee-pee while I pee
Sergeant Major, Sergeant Major
Standing in your uniform so bright bright bright
Saluting with your hand with your bollix in the sand
Singing Corporal hold my pee-pee while I pee
Naughty Baby, Naughty Baby
Keeping all the neighbors up at night night night
Standing on your head in the middle of the bed
Singing mama hold me pee-pee while I pee
General Barcus, General Barcus
Looking at your stars so big and bright bright bright
Coming down the hill singing Colonel have a thrill
Singing Colonel hold my vee~~pee while I pee
Piper Laurie, Piper Laurie
Having skoshie chop-chop at the club, club, club
As I gaze into your eyesand my pee-pee starts to rise
Singing Piper hold my pee-pee while I pee
ACE IH THE HOLE
Oh the world is full of guys, who think theyJre might wise
Just because they know a thing or two
You can see them night and day strolling up and down broadway
Telling of the things that they can do
Oh there are wise men and there are boozers
Con men and crap shooters, they all hang around the Metropole
Wearing fancy ties and collars, where do they get those dollars
They all have that ace down in the hole
Some of them write to the old folks, for €oin
That1s their old ace In the hole
Others have girls on the old tender-loin
That!s their old ace in the hole
They111 tell you of places that they1re going to see
Prom Prisco to the old north pole
But their name would be mud, like a chump jhlaying stud
If they lost that old ace in the hole

THE MISSION
(Tune-The thing)
The mission was all briefed to go at quarter after nine
Big Dog had given us all the poop, the weather it was fine
"One work of advice," he said to us, "Though I hate to spoil your fun
Stay out from in front of that MiG-15, itfs too big a gun
The cannon balls were flying around as thick as they could be
I took one look and said, says I, this ain't no place for me
I rolled it over and sucked it through and took it down below
Sayin* get out of here with that BOOM BOOM BOOM and don't come back no more
Sajtin' get out of here with that BOOM BOOM BOOM and don't come back no more
I shoved the throttle to the wall a runnin' for my life
Skelton said, "Come back you coward and join in£o the strife."
"Your ass," said I with quaking voice, "This ain't no place for me."
So I racked it up and pulled it around and took it out to sea
So I racked It up and pulled it around and took it out to sea*
I took a hit upon the wing, another in the tail
The way that Sabre was lurchin* around I1d surely have to bail
I braced my self and said a prayer and pulled the handle red
Oh, if I hadn't gotten out of that flaming wreck, I'd surely wound up dead
Oh, if I hadn't gotten out of that flaming wreck, I'd surely wound up dead
A8
I
I looked upon the schedule and was as happy as a king
For once I had a mission when I wasn't flying wing
I went down to the briefing room and my tiger blood went ping I
For there sat Major Nichols and they had me on his wing ■
For there sat Major Nichols and they had me on his wing
l
l
We were sugerin1 around away up there as watchful as could be —
Reichman said, "Take a look at six and see what you can see J1 ■
I took a look at six O'clock and much to my supriae ■
I discovered a MiG-15, right before my eyes
I discovered a MIG-15, right before my eyes
i
I
I
i
i
I rolled it out of that six G turn out over the briny deep
That MiG could not have followed cause I sure racked it steep
But when I looked back, Oh there he sat, as fat as he could be —
And he was shooting those cannon balls, and they were coming right at me K
And he was shooting those cannon balls, and they were coming right at me ™
l
1
The moral of this story is, if you're up in a flight —
And you've got a mig at six o'clock, and he's all tucked in tight I
DON'T ever roll out or pull it up, that's my advice to you *
Cause you'll never get rid of the Son of a Bitch, no matter what you do
Cause you'll never get rid of the Son of a Bitch, no matter what you do
I
I

SPOT PROMOTION
(Tune- Cold Gold Heart)
I've tried, so hard my friend, to think
That rank was worth a lot
But now you've gone and got yourself
Promoted to a spot
Your job is one that could he done
By any PPC
How can I get yonr ass shipped out
And get that spot for me
Tern*11 he a full hird soon, my friend
Of that I have no doubt
The t?o's being changed right now
They ripped it inside out
Lieutenant General, Wing CO
The staff all gets one star
At least we111 have some rank around
To help us fight the war
Another week or two in grade
We'll put you in again
You needn't wait to learn your job
That's for enlisted men
The only thing I envy is
The* talent that you got
How can I get your ass shipped out
And get your open spot
AIN'T IT A BLOODY SHAME
(Tune- Poor but Honest)
We were fat back in the Truman (s
Drinking beer, and sometimes wine
When they said, "You're going over
To Korea1s fighting line."
We were young and we were eager
To get one hundred and go home
But they slipped the finger to us
And left us here ~ far o'er the foam
Now they sit in PSAF Headquarters
Making rules so much unkind
It!s the same the whole world over
Isn't it a bloody shame
Shed a tear when yo*u think of us
Sitting here on old £-2
While you sleep with all our sweethearts
As we fly the old Yalu

EARLY ABORT
(Tune- MacMamara's Band)
Oh, my name is Colonel_______, 1*111 the leader of the group
Just step into my briefing room, I'll give you all the poop
Ifll tell you where the Commie is, and where the flak is black
I111 he the last one off the deck, I'll he the first one hack
Chorus: Early abort* avoid the rush, early abort, avoid the rush
Early abort, avoid the rush
Oh my name is Colonel____________ I'm ihe leader of the group
Ny Base is Major_____,and I lead old liberty
And if I go on rail cuts, my boys will follow me
But if you say Pyoiig-Iang, I:ll tell you what I111 do
Get into your plane and go ahead, and I'll wait here for you
I'm sure you!ve heard of nightmares, and the things they do
But if you111 come down to the line, you111 see they're far from true
The pilots they are ready, but let the skipper shout
And all those bastards yell at onee, "My mags they wonft check out I"
And then I:m sure you know of the leaders in the wing
Any night in the 0 C;"--b you c^n hear how well they sing
With words they fight a hell of a war, they say they wanta go too
But just you give them half a chance, and here's what they will do
Oh I fly the old Invader, and Douglas says it's great
But when it cones to fighting MIG-Ts, those bastards just don ' t rate
I was born to be a fighter, to grapple in the blue
But when It comes to fighting MIG-'s, I'll tell you what I'll do
Now we'll all line up and take off, and set our course at ten
And when we re^.ch the no return, we'll all turn back again
We'll call the tower and get a steer, we don't know where we've been
Drop your tanks and canopies, peel off the belly in
Oh we fly those b"^ody oabres at a hundred bloody feet
We can fly the- n the rain and fog, and in the bloody sleet
We think we:ro ikying bloody high, we're flying bloody low
And we make our bloody landfall at the Eirth of bloody Forth
Oh we fly those bloody Sabres at a hundred bloody feet
We can fly them in the rain and fog, and in the bloody sleet
And when we're flying bloody high, we're flying bloody low
And we hit the -marker beacon such an awful bloody blow
Now when this war is over and we fre back in the U.S.A.
We'll fly the planes in all war games, and do what the Generals say
But if we have another v;ar and they give us the f86
To hell with all the general staffs, we won't get in that fix
50

THE FAIRCHILD ABORTION
(Tune- Strawberry Roan)
Out on the flight line one cold Sunday morn
Sat the lairchild Abortion all battered and torn
The wings were sagging, the tires were flat
The form one had a red line, I'll bet yon on that
We fired up both engines with mixtures full rich
And took to the runway with that son of a bitch
We pushed on the power, sh farted and stalled
And got off the runway> no airspeed at all
We call to the tower, "Single Engine," we say
"What the hell," said the tower, "We got them all day"
"G-o around," said the tower, "We can't let you land
We got Cooks on the runway dragging off sand
We milked up the flaps, and rolled in the trim
Over the tree tops that old wreck she did skim
We turned on final and free fell the gear
The engineer murine red, "Please have no fear"
The pilot was scared, the Co-pilot too
The engineer had all he could do
The runway was coming and coming up fast
One third of the runway had already passed
We pulled off power and she settled in fast
That on-twenty-three had landed at last
BLACKBIRDS
(Tune- Bye Bye Blackbird)
Here we stand on the ground
We wonH take off till the sun goes down
We fly Blackbirds
Co in low and come out fast
Keep those fighters off our ass
We fly Blackbirds
Ho one here can ever understand up
You should hear the malarky they hand us
Miz those drinks and mix em right
Because we're standing down tonight
Blackbirds we fly
DIRTY LIL
Dirty Lil, Dirty Lil
Lives on top of garbage hill
Never took a bath
Never will
Achi Ptuei Dirty Lil
.51

KATHUSELEM
In ancient days there lived a maid
Who used to ply a filthy trade
A prostitute of ill repute
The harlot of Jeruselem
Chorus: Hi Ho Kathuselem the harlot of Jeruselem
Hi Ho kathuselem the daughter of the Eabbi
Kathuselem!s snatch was bold and bare
Upon her gash there grew no hair
Por hair won't grow on a thorogare
Like the snatch of old Kathuselem
Kathuselem* s cunt was round and red
Tor forty years it had not bled
It smelled as though it had been dead
Since the founding of Jeruselem
Now Kathuselem was a willey witch
A god damn fucking son of a bitch
And every pecker that had the itch
Had dangled in Kathuselem
Next door there lived a giant tall
His prick of steeltotuld smash a wall
His balls hung down like basketballs
The ^iant of old Jeruselem
One ni^ht returning from a spree
A quite consistant jubilee
His balls hung wall below his knee
He chanced to cross Kathuseelem
And so he challanged her to fuck
And wishing her the best of luck
He led her to a shady nook
And ther unfurled his might hook
He led her to a shady nook
And there unfurled his nighty hook
For forty yards it throbbed and shook
the walls of old Jeruselem
This giant of old was underslung
He missed her cunt and hit her bung
And with his giant pecker stung
The pride of all Jeruselem
Kathuselem she knew her art
She cocked her ass and blew a fart
She blew him like a bloody dart
Through the walls of old Jeruselem
Aand ther he lay a broken mass
His cock all bent with shit and gas
And Kathuselem got up and wiped her ass
All over the walls of Jeruselem 52

..... SEOUt, CITY SUE
(Tone- Sioux City Sue)
I drove a herd of oxen down
Till reached old Bong Chong way
And there I met a gook girl
Who said she!d like to play
Her clothes were of a dirty "blue
Her hands and feet were too
I asked her what her name was
She asid, "Seoul City Sue."
Chorus: Seoul City S*ue, Seoul City Sue
Your hair is "black, your eyes are too
I!d swap my honey cart for you
Seoul City Sue, Seoul City Sue
Ho one smells of Kimchie
Like my sweet Seoul City Sue
Ch, Korea, I must admit
I owe a lot to you
I came here from America
To find Seoul City Sue
Someday 1*11 take her hack with
And huy her perfumes too
So people can!t he singing
"Here comes Seoul City Sue,"
LOOK AT THE EARS ON HIM
I heard they wanted men to fight as aviators hold
So I went down, held up my hand, and this is what the told
"You111 go the Kelly Field and learn to navigate the sky"
When I got there I was SOL for this is how I fly
Chorus: Look at the ears on him, on him
Ohi how do you get that way
That was the greeting I received as I marched in today
First they put me into the kitchen, KP was my name
I wrote my girl that I was a flier
Gee J hut I!m a wonderful liar
Look at the ears' on him, on him
Oh J How do you get that way
That is the only battle cry I hear both night and day
If I!m to fight in this great war and end the Kaisers reign
They'd better take up me kettles and pans
And give me an/aeroplane
I've peeled a million spuds since I've been in this flying game
I've swung a pick and shovel, till my weary back 1q lame
Ifve navigated lots of ground but not an inch of sky
And when I ask about aeroplanes, I hear the same old rry

FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell
Oh there axe no fighter pilots down in hell
Oh the place is full of queers, navigators, bombardiers
But there are no fighter pilots don in hell
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states
They are off on foreign shores, making Bothers out of whores
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
They are all across the hay, getting shot at every day
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no bomber pilots in the fray
Oh there are no bomber pilots in the fray
They are all in USO:s wearing ribbfns, fancy clothes
Oh there are no bomber pilots in the fray
Oh the bomber pilots life is just a farce
Oh the bomber pile"' - - ~- ^s just a farce
The automatic pilots on, reading novels in the John
Oh the bomber pilots life is just a farce
~o^ uvn SonhPT rnint never takes a dare
\ja vtie domoer pixot never takes a dare
His gyros are uncaged, and his women overaged
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing
The place is full of brass, sitting round on their fat ass
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing
Oh it!s naughty naughty naughty but it!s nice
If you ever do it once you'll do it twice
-•-•-.-. ^rnpv „^~ reputation, but increase the population
wi res naughty naughty naughty but itfs nice
Oh look at the 353th in the club
(h look at the 383th in the club
They don!t party, they donTt sing, 386th does everthing
Oh look at the 3§3th in the club
When a bomber jockey walks into our club
When a bomber jockey woiks into our club
He don't drink, his share of suds, all he does is flub his dub
or THTjtfro AP3 no FIGH33R PILOTS DOW IN HELL -
5^

FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh it's naught, naughty, naughty, but It*8 nice
Oh it's naught,-naughty, naughty, but its nice
It'll ruin your' reputation, hut increase the population
If you ever do itionce you'll do it twice*
When a bomber jockey walks into our club
When a bomber"jockey walks into our club
He won't drink his share of suds*
all he does in flub his dub
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in belli '-.
Solo* * We're going to burn down the outhouseii
Choruse: D00i\.
But we111 build a new one p
Hooray
Our town has only one barr
BOO
One hundred feet long.
HOORAY
Our bar has only one bartender*
BOO
Our barmaids were long dresses«
BOO
Made out of cellephane.
Hooray. .
You can't walk upstairs with our barmaids.
BOO
They iaake you run
HOORAY
You can't sleep with our barmaids
BOO
They won't let you sleep*
HOORAY
Oh it's naughty,- aeughty, naughty, but it's nice
and every body does it once or twice
It's ruing the reputation and play hell with the
population but itfs naughty, naughty, naughty but
it's nice*
FIGHTER PILOTS DEATH
"I know that I shall meet my fate
Cjiacwhere amont the cluuds above
Those I fight I do not hate"*"- -
Those I guard I do not loy»....... .
Nor law, nor duty made me-,fight
Hor public men, nor cheering crowds
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the cluds
I balance all, brought all to mind
The years to come seen waste for breath
A waste fo breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this deathe

TOAST TO THE BLUE ANGELS
(Tune- This Old House)
This ole team gonna need revision
This ole team gonna need a crew
This ole team has thrived on gimmicks
Have you seen our pink and J>lue
This ole team has frosty tailpipes
This ole team has lost its charm
And the captain said the other day
My "boys, you've botight the farm
Ain't gonna need this team no longer
Ain't gonna need this team no more
Ain't got time to learn the diamond
Ain't got time to learn the score
Ain:t got nerve to do a bomb hurst
Or a plane to do the roll
And we:re looking for the PIO
Who got us in this hole
This ole team can't fly in weather
This ole team can't fly in rain
This ole team is out of pints of blue
We're called old yellow stain
This ole team is getting lonesome
This ole team has gone astray
And we1re just five angel puddy cats
Awaitin1 judgement day
A' "';. gonna need this team no longer?
Ain't gonna nc^^l this team no mora
Ain!t got time to be a tiger
Ain't got time to give a roar
Ain't got planes that hold together
Or the G-suit underwear
But we've got our pretty flying suits
So we don't really care
TACHIEAWA, YOKOHAMA, ITAZUKE
(Tune- Hawaiian War Chant
Taehikawa, Yokohama, Itazuke
Tachikawa, Yokohama, Itazuke
--^^kawa ~ -Yokohama - - Itazuke is the place
Ah, v. ^ $ ( Tachikawa) ; Ah, So , (Yokohama)
Ah, So, (Itazuke);, Ah, S0, KIMPO
Frozen Chosen is the place for you my boy
Forzen Chosen is the place for you my boy
Forzen Chosen, Chosen Frozen, Frozen Chosen is the place
Ah, S0, (Frozen Chosen); Ah, So, (Chosen Frozen)
Ah, S0f (Frozen Chosen); Ah, So, KIMPO
<K

A BOMBER FLIES 10,000 MILES
(Tune - Sing us Another one)
Our bomber flies ten thousand miles
Our bomber flies ten thousand miles
But a bomb like a cherry-
Is all it can carry-
When our bomber flies ten thousand miles
Chorus: Steady boys, steady boys
Here comes another lie
Said pilot to bomber, how slick
Finding this target's no trick
But my God how strange
We!re fresh out of range
Stcap on my parachute quiek
The Air Force sure has the life grand
Wine, women and song is the plan
There!s medals by baskets
For flying caskets
In the M-'G-M starlet command
F-SO^ are certainly keen
If to daring your tendencies lean
But we want it said
We!d not be caught dead
In such an infernal machine
With out bombers' the world will be shocked
At three hundred miles they!ve been clocked
But while dreaming up tricks
With the B-36
We fve all had our heads up and locked
The X~l was cruising the blue
The pilot felt something quite new
Crist what a sensation
Where*s public relations
The Legion of Merit will do
Our bomber goes ten thousand miles
We claim It but only with smiles
While crashing the barrier
We pboh, pooh, the carrier
That really goes ten thousand miles
Dh we know what werre saying is true
We got it driectly from Stu
We love the blue yonder
But sometimes we wonder
Just who*s doing what and to who
So listen young men as we say
Be careful of wings and flight pay
There's no prohibitions
On suidice missions
So come ioin the Air Force today

ONCE THEY WERE HAPPY
(Time - Man on the Flying Trapeze)
Once they were happy, completely at ease
They flew their F-80Ts like a swinging1 trapeze
They looped en, they rolled em, they bounced DC-3!s
But alas boys, their wings have been clipped
One day they approached Itazuke
Jet leader called echelon right
Mustangs at nine o'clock level
Let's see if 8th fighter will fight
The F-80!s broke left and the Mustangs broke right
I think they see us, says jet four in fright
There1 re all pullin streamers says jet number three
Let's go home, this is no place for me
The jets headed home at a hundred percent
In fact number four had the throttle stop bent
Back to Misava, to Misawa they went
THE PFETTIEST SHIP
(l) (Lesader) The prettiest ship
(All) The prettiest ship
(Leader) Out on the line
(All) Out on the line
(Leader) The MiG-15
(All) The MIG-15
(Leader) Flies fast and fine
(All) Flies fast and fine
(Leader) The prettiest ship
(All) The prettiest ship, out on the line
The MiG-15 flies fast and fine
(2) When we gc up and fly at noon
The MiG-15's leap off the moon
(3) Then they come down and pretty soon
A pissed-off tiger lowers the boom
(U) On all our planes we paint red stars
For MiG-15's that land on Mars
(5) We chase them up to forty-four
That fox eight six ain't got much more
(6) The throttle's set right at full bore
We'll '"never catch that little shore
(7) Then they start home and Casey calls
We're letting down no sweat at all
(8) We're coming in with thirteen chicks
Twelve Mig-15 Ts one fox eight six
(9) The moral of this sotry's clear
When you start home just check your rear
(10) Cause if you don't you're sure to find
A MiG-15 tucked In behind
57

«GM SUITS AND PARACHUTES
(Tune ~ Bell Bottom Trousers)
Once there was a barmaid, down in brewery lane
Her master was so kind to her, her mistress was the same
Along came a pilot, handsome as could be
He was the cause of all her misery
Chorus: Singing «G,f Suits and parachutes
And uniforms of blue
He111 fly a fighter
like his daddy used to do
He asked her for a pillow to rest his weary head
Se gave it to him willingly and lost her maidenhead
And she like a silly girl, thinking it no harm
Climbed in bed beside him just to keep the pilot warm
Now in the morning before the break of day
A five pound note he handed her, and this to her did say
"T ke this my darling, for all the harm I've done"

^or you may have a daughter, and you may have a son
If you have a daughter, put ribbons in her hair
And if you have a son, get the bastard in the air."
Now the moral of my story as you can plainly see
Is never trust a pilot an inch above the knee
The barmaid trusted one and he went off to fly
Leaving her a daughter to help the time go by
Final Chorus: Singing "G" suits and parachutes
And uniforms of blue
She111 never fly a fighter
like her daddy used to do
INTO THE AIR
Into the air, U.S. Air Force
Into the air, pilots true
Into the air, U.S. Air Force
Keep your nose up In the blue
And when you hear the engines roaring
And the steel props start to shine
Then you can bet the U.S. Air Force
Is along the fighting line
Into the air, junior birdmen
Into the air, upside down
Into the air, junior birdmen
Get your nose up off the gound
And when you hear the great commencement
And you win your wings of tin
Y0u will know the junior birdmen
Have sent their box tops in
58

MY WILD EYED CADET
(Tune- My Wild Irish Hose)
My wild eyed Cadetf he ain't learned nothing yet
He noses her down* when close to the ground
My wild eyed Cadet
He slips in his banks, if he lives we'll all give thanks
I hear drams heating low, and men marching slow
Behind wild eyed cadets
EIGHT BUCKS A DAY
Open up the throttle till the needle hist the peg
Eight bucks a day, eight bucks a day
%ve and roll and loop her till she's wingless as a keg
Eight bucks a day is the pay
Close the gate, lock the door
Cause we, won't come back to Langley any more
We'll land at every flying field to San Erancisco Bay
Eight bucks a day is the pay
I WAHT TO GO HOME
I want to go home. I want to go home#
The gas tank is leaking, the motor is dead
The pilot is trying to stand on his haed
Take me back to the ground, I donTt want to fly upside down
Oh, My, I^ too young to die
I want to go home
HAIL YOU EIGHTER PILOTS
Erom Pohunkus, Tennessee
Came a bastard that was me
And my father shoveled snow from off the street
Well when I was very young
He found a diamond in the dung
And he sent me here to sing this song to you
So Hail, Oh Hail, you fighter pilots
EiH your glasses full of brew
And V3!ll'-have :another glass
To the latest horses ass
In the squadrons of the yellow and the blue
THE EORMATIOH
Here's health to the formation leader, a jolly good fellow is he
He uses three star navigation, and flies on Bacardi
Here's a health to the leaders two wingmen, to the gunner within Turdle
Here's a health to the whold damn formation, we'll fly reviews in hell
59

VVE GOT SIX* PENCE
I've got six-pence, jolly jolly sixpence
I've got six-pence to last me all ay life
I!ve got tuppence to spend, and tuppence to lend
And tuppence to send home to my wife, poor wife
Ho cares have I to grieve me
Ho pretty little girls to decieve me
I1 in happy as a lark "believe me
As we go rolling rolling home
Rolling home, rolling home
By the light of the silvery moon
Sappy is the day, when the Air Porce gets its pay
As we go rolling rolling home
PASDE CALAIS
How yon can send me twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But don*t send me over the Ruhr
Send me to Paris or a target in Prance
Any old place that I might have a chance
You c»n send me twice a day
To the Pasde Calasi
But don't send me over the Ruhr
You may think 1^ wacky
But Irm only slightly flaky
Bon't send me over the Ruhr
How the alert's on the phone
And the target's Cologne
MY God, that's on the edge of the Ruhr
Send me to Bremen or old Potsdam town
Any place you can see through the flak to the ground
You can send me twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But don*t send me over the Ruhr
Por even when I'm starting
K!m planning on aborting
Don!t send me over the Ruhr
ODE TO THE B-29
{Tune- Whiffenpoof S0ng)
We are fomr little fans who have lost our way, GROWR, GROWR, GROWR
We are four little fans who have gone astray, GROWR, GROWR, GROWR
One third pilot out on the left, one third pilot out on the right
"George" is flying with all of his might, GROWR, GROWR, GROWR
.60

PERBDT TO YOUHGSTOWN
Oh they sent me down to Perrin (or Tyndal)
Oh they sent me there to train
They taught me how to rocket
Prom an aeroplane
Then they sent me to youngstown
To be a tiger too
But all I get*s a hunch of shit
Form you and yon and you
I saw a fighter pilot
No smile upon his face
Then * heard him mutter
I hate this f_____place
60-A

IF YOU ELY
If you fly an 89, Jrou must be Ixuab deaf and blind
For your life ain't worth a dine, whatfs your scheduled blow np time
Chorus -
Will you go boom today, will you go boom today
Two blew up yester day, Allison ainft here to stay
If you fly an 86, you inust really get your kicks
Bouncing the all weather boys, playing with their radar toys
If you fly a 9if, you will never holler more
For your lot we do not pine., it's better than an 89
If you fly a thunder-jet, you will really have no sweat
For your life you will not pound, the clunker wonH get off the ground
TOO LOWr IT ITAZUK1
Too long at Itazuke
Look just like a little gook
Eyes that slant, nose thats flat
Speak jananese, !tYou caught a muskrat11
Me work in rice-paddy
Go Geisha house and drink sake
We jo-jo ITumber One Japanese boy-san
SOBG OF THE 18TH
(Tnne- Wreck of Old 97)
It's a long, long road from Pusan to Pyong-yang
And the mountains are high and wide
If my engine quits, you can write off a mustang
Cause Kfm fixing to go over the side
Col* ^cBride led his boys 04 a mission
And the chinks started throwing up flak
He said, "Bun em up boys, and we'll clean out our engines
And the drinks are on the last one to get back."
Close support is a damn fine sortie
Cause you work so close to the troops
Y^n get hit twelve times b\< a 20 or a 40
and your engine coughs sputters and poops
So you hit the silk and you land in a medow
And the chinks start blazing away
And a copter comes along and picks up your elbow
Registration boys will find the rest some day
It'1 s a damn fine war and I love every mission
And I guess Ifm here to stay
But Ifd rather shag a broad by suggestive coition
Or catch the clap in old Sante Fe#
61

FLAK IN THE NIGHT
From Kunsan to Anju, from Pyonsyang to Yangdok
Wherever the red trucks go
I've been on some tough routes, and had me some tough bouts
But there is one thing I Enow
The red halls, will get you, they're worrisome things
That lead you to sing, the flak in the night
Hear the 8th a-calling, hear the 13th bawling
Dentist, oh dentist, oh bromide, oh bromide
Oh snowflake, oh give me a steer oh give me a fix
I'm lost in the night
THE INVAIBR
Oh the Invader is a very fine airplane
Constructed of steel and tin
It will do over three houndred level
The plane with the tail wind built in
Oh, why did I join the Air Force
Mother, dear Mother knew best
For here I lie in the wreckage
In bader all over my chest
THE FIGHTING 68TH
(Tune- KacNamaras Band)
We're here to tell a story of squadron 6$
Came over from Ashia to join the fighting eighth
They're sitting here before us, tapping up the brew
They don't belong in a fighter group, but what can Chitty do
Chonus: La da da da, What can he do
La da da da, What can he do
la da da da, What can he do
Oh they don't belong in a fighter group
But what can Chitty do
They fly their old night fighters, they take off after dark
They don't know where they're going, they're just up for a lark
They never brief, they always beef, fly strictly on a hunch
Their call should be "Banana" cause they fly in such a bunch
You know we also fly at night, thank &od the times are few
We. often hear night fighters saying, "Moonshine, is that you?"
"Moonshine, this is feminine, this is Feminine I say
Won't you tell those nasty shooting Stars to land they're in our wayl"
62

HAIL CUTTERS
(Tune- Cold Cold Heart)
I tried so hard, Wild Sill, to cut
That streak of railroad track
But I'm afraid that all I did
Was dodge that flying flak
I know that one is all it takes
To blow my ass apart
Why con't I get just one rail cut
And melt your cold cold heart
MY DABING 39
(Tune- My Barling Clementine)
In the cockpit of the Cobra
Trying hard to reach the line
But alas my engine faltered
Pare thee well my 39
Chorus: Oh my darling, Oh my darling
Oh my darling 39
You are lost and gone forever
Fare thee well my 39
When you1 re spinning very flatly
And you've got a worried mind
That's all "brother, hit the jumpsack
Bid farewell to you 39
All the brass hats in our congress
They have signed the dotted line
They are lucky they just bought it
They don't fly the 39
M01IN ON
When you hear the patter of tiny feet, it's the 49th in full retreat
They're movin on, they111 soon be gone
They'Te pushed around just long enough, they1 re movin on
Hear the pitter-patter of the little feet, it's the first marines in full
They1re movin on, they're movin on /retreat
They're burning gas they're hauling ass, they're movin on
Hey GI you pissed off at me, What's the matter you got no VD
I'm movin on, I'll soon be gone
Honey bucket turned over in the middle of the road., I'm movin on
Mama-san movin down the track, with a CI baby strapped on her back
She's movin on, sheTll soon be gone
If she catches CI papa-san-, He'll be movin on
(Con't next Page)
63

MOVIN ON (C0n't)
Oh here come the Commies runnin down the pass
Playin the burp gun on a gyrene's ass
He's movin on, he's movin on
Y0u!ve been flying to high for this little ole guy
So I 'm movin on
The ole houn dog was feelin fine, till he jumped in a barrel of turpentine
He's movin on, he's movin on
He crashed the gat like a P-38t /but he's movin on
The old torn cat was feelin mean, till he caught his tail in a isewin
He's movin on, he's movin on /machine
He missed a stitch when he hit the ditch, hut he's movin on
MY GOD HOW THE MOffEY BOLLS Iff
My father makes rum in the bathtub
My mother mkkes two kinds of gin
My sister makes love for a living
My God how the money rolls in
Chorus: Bolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in, rolls in
Bolls in, rolls in, my God how the money rolls in
My brother's a poor missionary
He saves little girlies from sin
He111 save you a blonde for five dollars
My God how the money rolls in
My uncle paints real frenchy postcards
My auntie she poses for him
Her costume cost nary a penny
My God how the money rolls in
I tried making all kinds of whiskey
I tried making all kinds of gin
I tried making love for a living
My God the Condition I'm in
Chorus #2: Sin, sin sin, sin, my God the condition I'm in, I'm in
Sin, sin, sin, sin, my God how the money rolls in
My father he died in his bathtub
My mother she died of her gin
My sister she married my brother
MY GOD WH/JT A MESS I AM Iff
6k

RING BANG- ADO
When I was young and sweet "sixteen
I met a girl from New Orleans
Oh she was young and pretty too
She had what yon call a ring-dang-doo
A ring-dang-doo, pray what is that
It's round and soft like a fussy cat
It!s round and soft and split in two
That!s what you call a ring-dang-doo
She took me down into the cellar
She said I was a very fine feller
She gave me wine and whiskey too
And she let me play with her ring-dang-doo
She took me up into her bed
She placed a pillow "beneath my head
And then she took my hickey-floo
And placed it in her ring-dang-doo
Now six months later she began to Bwell
She swelled and swelled till she looked like hell
She told her ma and her father too
That I took a crack at'her ring-dang-doo
Her father said you filthy whore
YonTve gone and lost your maidens lore
Pack up you hag and your nighty too
And make your living forom your ring-dang-doo
She vent to the city to become a whore
She hung a sing upon her door
Pive dollars now nothing else will doo
To take a crack at my ring-dang-doo
And the fellers came and the fellers went
And the price went down to fifteen cents
Fifteen cents and nothing else will do
To take a crack at my ring-dang-doo
And then one day a son of a bitch
He had the crabs and the jockey itch
He had the syph and diarrhea to
And he took a crack at her ring-dang-doo
They hung her tits in the city hall
They pickled her ass in alcohol
Now all you bums and hobo's too
You've heard my tale of the ring-dang-doo
So they buried her near the city hall
And they engraved upon the wall
She's learned her lesson and you should too
Just stay away from the ring-dang-doo
65

OLD OBEY BUSTLE
(Shane- Old G-rey Bonnet)
Put on your old grey bustle and get out and hustle
Por tomorrow the rents coning due
Put your ass in clover let the hoys look it over
If you con't get five take two
Put on those old pink panties that used to h9 your annties
And we111 go for a tussel in the hay
Now theirs no use duckin1 cause you're gonna get a fuckin*
In the good old fashioned way
Put on your old grey corset if it won't fit force it
For the fleet is coming in today
As the "bees make honey let your ass make money
In the good old fashioned way
Put on that old blue ointment the crabs dissapointment
And we'll kill those bastards where they lay
Though it scratches and it itches it will kill those sons of bitches
In the good old fashioned way
MACH RIDERS IN THE SKY
(Tune- Ghost Riders In the Sky)
An 86 got airborne on a dark and windy day
And as he raised his landing gear, you could her the pilot pray
Keep all those buckets in the wheel and I111 be safe and sound
Don't let that fire go out, Dear'Lord, till I am on the ground
Chorus: Yippi-i-o, yippi-i-a-a~a
Mach riders in the sky
Those flyin fiends are here to stay, it's said they're very mean
And all know we've been famous since 191?
Though we may work on holidays, and weekends just the £ame
Those pukin1 pups make history, Oh bless that famous name
As our 86's leave the ground, their tails are spouting flame
The pilots they all go through hell, but fly im just the same
The crew chiefs work their asses off to keep em flyin high
And watch with satisfaction as their plane goes screaming by
Day and nifi;ht our pilots fight to live up to their name
Other pilots come and go, but ours fly on to fame
They1re going to fly forever in that range up there on high
The cuss and cry, "Live or die," MACH RIDERS IN THE SKY
66

THE THING
I!ve flown around for many a year, from Berlin to Taegu
But never a thing I saq like the thing,- crdising along the Yalu
I was tooling up and down one day, with nary a thought on my mind
When suddenly was this???, right up my behind
When suddenly was this???f right up my "behind
I dropped my tanks and "broke to the right, called help to my wingman
He took on look at the ???. and H6 turned around -afid'ran
And then I called on another guy, known as Maple Bed
But when her saw that ???« he ducked his nose and fled
But when he saw that ???. he ducked his nose and fled
And then there was this other "bird, who yelled ge altitude
There may be more of those ???, and Vts Idst*my'fortitude"
Then finally came this swept-wing thing, one of the famous fourth
He said 1*11 get that ???. his fifties spattered forth
He said I'll get that ???, his fifties spattered forth
And then I looked-around again, and much to my surprise
I saw him clobber the ???. right before my. eyes
The MIG- blew up went down in flames, his comrades followed suit
Because of the guy in the ???, who knew just when to shoot
Because of the guy in the ???. who knew just when to shoot
Now all you juckeys of eighty-fours, here!s my advise to you
Never go cruising up and down, north of Sinanju
Unless you've got the Famous Fourth, hovering over you
Cause they111 take care of the ???, they know just what to do
Cause theyf 11 take care of the ???« they know just what to do
THOSE WEDDING BELLS ABE BREAKING UP
Not a soul down on the corner
It's a pretty certain sign
Those wedding bells are breaking up
That old gang of mine
All the boys are singing love songs
They!ve forgot Sweet Adeline
Those wedding bells are breaking up
That old gang of mine
There goes Jack, there goes Jill
Down through lovers lane
Now and then, ve meet again
But they don1t seem the same
Gee I get that lonesome feeling
When I hear those church bells chime
Theose wedding bells are breaking up
That old gang-of mine
67

DOODLE-LEE-DOO
Please aing to me.that sweet melody
Called Doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
I like the reat hut the part I like best
Is doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
Simplest thing, there isn!t much to it
All you got to do is doodle-lee-doo it
I love it so, wherever I go
I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
Two liiile lovers, under the covers
What'll they do, doodle-lee-doo
I would suggest that they should undress
And doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
Cherries are red, ready for plucking
Ifm sixteen and I'm feady for highschool
I love it so, wherever I go
I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
Please do to me v/hat you did to marie
last Saturday night, Saturday night
It must have been real, cause I heard Marie squeal
Last Saturday night, Saturday night
BonH know what, what you were doin
Somebody said you were doodle-lee-dooin
I love it SO; wherever I go
I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
Miss Emma Snow went out en a show
Called doodle-l^e-doo, doodle-lee-doo
She marie a hit just playing her bit
In doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo
Twenty four hours, that!s all there was to it
Hqw in this world:did she doodle-lee-doo it
G-ot a Eolls Royce, but not by her voiee
But doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
BALL OP YAM
Twas a sunny day in June all the flowers were in bloom
The birds were singing gaily on the farm
When I spied a maiden fair and I said unto her there
Let me wind up your little ball of yarn
She said sir can*t you see you1 re a stranger to me
But follow me out behind the barn
There!s a shady little nook beside the babbling brook
V'here you can wind up my little ball of yarn
Now young man take my advice never stay out late at night
And you111 never lose your cherry or ;ou charm
Be like the bluebird and the robin keep your little P from bobbin1
And you'll never wind up that little ball of yarn
68

Sim US MOTHER OBE
There was a young man from Boston
Who traded his car for an Austin
There was room for his ass and a gallon of gas
But his halls hung out eaid he lost em
Chorus: That was a very fine song
Sing us another one
Just like the other one
Sing us another one, do
There was a young man from Ihindee
Who "buggered an ape in a tree
The result was most horrid, all ass and no forehead
Three halls and a purple goatee
There was a young man from Kildair
Who buggered his girl on the stairs
The bannister "broke, he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid air
There was a young queer from Khartuom
Who took a young lesbian to his room
They argued all night, as to who bad the right
To do what, with which, and to whome
There was a professor from the Mall
Who possessed a cylindrical ball
The cube root of its weight, plus his penis, plus eight
Was one half of two thirds of fuck all
There was a young girl from St Paul
Who wore a newspaper•dress to a ball
Her dress caught on fire, and burned her entire
Front page, sports section and all
There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back, and tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it
There once was a young nan from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble, he put in in double
And instead of coming, he went
There once was a man of class
Whose balls were made of brass
When they swung together, they played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass
69

SING US ANOTHER Oi>JE DO (Con't)
There was a young man from Sparta
Who was the worlds champion farter
On the strength of one "bean, he played God Save the Queen
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata
There once was a man from Rangoon
Who was born by the light of the moon
He had not the luck, to be born by a fuck
But was a wet dream scooped up in a spoon
There $nce was a boy from Baclaridge
And he was his parents disparage
He sucked off his brother, and went down on his mother
And ate up his sisters miscarrage
There once -was a pilot from £-2
Who buggered a girl down in Taegu
He said to the Doc, as h:> she handed him his cock
Will I lose both my testicles too
There once was a man from Trieste
Who loved his wife with a zest
Despite all her howls, he sucked out her hxnvles
And desposited the mess on her breast
In the garden of Eden sat Adam
With his hand on the butt of his madam
Ke chuckled with mirth, for the knew on this earth
There were only two balls and he had em
There was an old hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said I111 admit, I !m a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save
There once was a girl from France
Who boarded a train by chance
The engineer fucked her, and so*d the conductor
And the breakman went off in his pants
There once was a girl naned~Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a fallice
They found her vagina, in south Carolina-j
And a piece of her hymen in Dallas
There once was a man from Bombay
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
The heat of his prick, turned the clay into brick
And rubbed all his foreskin away
There once was a girl named Gail
Between her tits was the price of her tail
And on her behind, for the sake of the blind
Was the same information in braile
70

SING US ANOTHER ONE DO (Con't)
There once was a girl from the Azores
Whose cunt was all covered with sores
The dogs in the street, would not eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers
There was a young girl from Pern
Who said as the Bishop withdrew
The Vicar is quicker, he's also a licker
And considerably thicker than you
There was a young priest from Dundee
Who went in the garden to pee
He said Pas Wo Biscum, I can!t make the piss come
I guess I've got CLAP
There was a young girl named Myrtle
Who was raped on the beach by a turtle
The results of the fuck,* was two eggs and a duck
Which proved that the turtle was fertile
There was a young man from Nottingham
Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham
Just watching the stunts, of the cunts and the punts
And the tricks of the pricks that were fukingham
An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said fucking is one thing I do know
All women are fine, and sheep are devine
But llamas are numero uno
There was a young man from ^ew Brighton
Who said my dear you've a tight one
Said she pon my soul, you have the worng hole
It's the one up in front that's the right one
There was a man from St ^ames
Who played most unusual games
He lit a match, to his grandmother snatch
And laughed as she pissed through the flames
There onee was a man named McGruder
Who v/ooed a nude in Bermuda
Now the nude thaught it crude, to he wooed in the nude
But McGruder was cruder, he screwed her
There was a young man from Kieth
Who skined hack pricks with his teeth
It wasn't for pleasure, he adopted this measure
But for the cheese he found underneath
There was a young lass named Alice
Who peed in the Archhishops chalice
It was not from relief, as the the belief
But purely from prodestant malice
71

SING- US ANOTHER ONE DO ((Wt)
There was a young bishop from Birmingham
Who diddled the nuns while confifiaen1 eM
He "brought them indoors, slipped down their drawers
And slipped his Euiscopal worm in !em
There was a young man from Brock
Who tied a violin string to his cock
With just one erection, he could play a selection
?rom Johann Sehastian Bach
There was a young lady from Hansom
Who had it three times in a hansom
When she cried for more, a woice from* the floor
Cried my name is Simpson* not Sampson
72

WEST VIRGINIA HILLS
In the hills of West Virginia, lives a girl named ^ancy Brown
Ainft never seen such beauty, in city or in town
Now Nancy and the Deacon climbed the mountain come high noon
And when they reached the summit, it was very very soon
Oh she came rollin down the mountain, rollin down the mountain
Roll in down the mountain by the dam
And in spite of all his urgin, she remained the local virgin
And is just as pure as west Virginia ham
Now along came a trapper, Henderson by name
He took our little ^ancy, and the story1 s just the same
She c-me rollin down the mountain rollin down the mountain
Rollin down the mountain by the shack
And In spite cZ his urgin, she remained the local virgin
And is just as pure as Pappy Js applejack
Bu!t along came a slicker, with his hundred dollar bills
He took our little nancy, a way up in the hills
And then she stayed up in the mountains, stayed up in the mountains
Stayed up in the mountains all that night
She came home next morning early, more a woman than a girlie
And her pappy kicked the hussy out of sight
Now she's livin In the city, livin in the city
Oh she!s livin in the city mighty swell
She!s done away with pots and kittles, and she's eatin fancy vittles
And those West Virginia hills can go to hell
But along came depression, took slicker by the pants
He had to sell his packard, had to give up little Nancy
So now she's back in West Virginia, back In '-est Virginia
Back in ¥est Virginia as a yore
And the Deacon and the trapper, get that thing that they were after
And She's known as the West Virginia LADY
PISS ON
Let!s all go down and piss on the,
Piss on the______, piss on the __
let's all go down and piss on the
Till they float away
Till they float away
Till they float away
Let's all go down and piss on the,
Piss on the______, piss on the___
Let's all go down and piss on the.
Till they float av/ay
73

LILLI FROM PICCADILLY
Oh, I took a trip to london to look around the town
When I got to Piccadilly, the sun /was going down
I've never seen such darkness, the night was hlack as pitch
When suddenly, in front of me, I thought I saw a witch
Chorus: Oh, it was Lilly, for Piccadilly
Yon know the one I mean, the one I mean
I111 spend each payday, that's my hey hey day
With Lilly, my "blackout queen
Oh, I couldn't see her figure, I couldn't see her face
But if I ever meet her, I111 know her anyplace
I couldn't tell if she were blonde or a dark "brunette
But gosh oh gee, did she give me, a thrill I won't forget
She said to me, Oh Yankee hoy are you lonesome are you "blue
Just step around the corner, I'll show you what I'll do
We went up some dark alley, I said, I love you kid
She said, Okay, hut first you pay, so I gave her twenty quid
She leaned her hack against the wall'^ I took her in my arms
She gave to me her very all, and all her huxum charms
I lost my head, I lost my heart, I even lost my hat
It was a shame, she should have "been, a circus acrobat
We went to her apartment, and when we were in bed
She was so very pleasant, I said some day we'd wed
She even gave' me breakfast, she was so very nice
Why what she did for txventy quid was sheap at half the- price
FALSIES IS" 3RASSEIKES
There's nothing can be better than a girl that wears a sweater
Though she may not be as big as she appears
They've got an awful lot of falsies In brasseires
Her pullmonary muscles may resemble Janle Bussels
And She'll say she got that way form drinking beers
They've got an awful lot for falsies in brasseires
So round---so firm----and so fully packed
You'll find it's really just an act
G-ive a girl a Bally bra and she will grow—grow—grow
How I've made a careful study with the help of my best buddy
And a hundred thousand women volunteers
They've got an awful lot of fiuLsies in brasseires
So fellows before you wed her, please investigate her sweater
Or you'll find your honeymoon v/ill end in tears
They've got an awful lot of falsies in brasseires
7k

LYDIA PINKAM
Chorus: Oh, we sing, we sing, .we sing, of Lydia Pinkham, Pinkham,
And her love for the human race
A wonderful compound, a dollar a bottle
And every label hears her face
N0w Mrs. -Murphy, had hushand trouble, she did not like to fidc£Le-de-dee
But after taking a bottle of compound, they had to tie her to a tree
$ow Mrs. iMurphy, had baby trouble, she could not have a baby dear
But she took, a bottle of compound, now she has them twice a year
Mow Mrs,-Murphy, had titty trouble, to feed her baby, she knew not how
But after" taking abottle of compound, they had to milk her like a cow
low Mrs* Murphy, had kedney trouble, in the morning, she could not pee
But after taking a bottle of compound, they had to pipe her out to sea
ERIGGIHG IE THE HIGGING
Twas on the good ship Venus, my G-od you should have seen us
The figure head was a whore in bed, and the mast a rampant penis
Chorus: Prigging in the rigging, frigging in the rigging
Frigging in the rigging, there!s fuck all else to do
The captain of this lugger, he was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit, from one place to another
The first mate's name was Morgan, my God was he a gorgon
Ten times a day he used to play, upon his sexual organ
The second mates name was Andy, he was so young and randy
They boiled his bun in steaming rum, for coming in the brandy
The Midshipmans name was Nipper, he was a dirty ripper
He filled his ass with broken glass, and circumsized the skipper
The captains wife was Mable, when ever she was able
She'd fornicated with the second mate, upon the galley table
The captain had a daughter, who fell into the water
Delighted squeals revealed the eels, had found her sexual quarter
The crev; they were hard cases, you could see it in their faces
They took to frigging in the rigging, for want of better places
So drunk with exultation, we reached our China station
And sunk a junk in a sea of spunk, caused by mutual masterbation
75

OID GEEEE RIVER
I was floating down ihat old Green Hiver
On the good ship rock and rye
But I floated too far
Got stuck on a bar
Cut there aldne, wishing that I were home
The ship went down with the captain and crew
It left rae only one thing to do
I had to drink that old green river dry
To get hack home to you
VIOLATE ME
Violate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that you know
To the best things in life
I am utterly oblivious
Give me a life that is lewd and lascivious
Violate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that yon know
Ravage me," savage me
Utterly damage me
On me no mercy bestow
Wiolate me in the violet time
In the vilest way that you know
THE WOODPECKER
(Tune- Dixie)
Oh, I stuck my finger in a woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said god bless your soul
Take it out, take it out,- take It out, remove it
So, I removed my finger from the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
Put it back, put it back, "nut it back* replace it
I replaced my finger In the woodpeckers hole
The wood pecker said God bless my soul
Turn it around, turn it around, turnet around, revolve it
I revolved my finger In the woodpeckers hole
£nd the woodpecker said G01 bless my soul
In- and-out, In-and-out, in-and-out, recriprocate it
I recriprocated my finger in the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker asid God bless my soul
Pull it out, pull it out, pull it out, retract It
I retracted my finger from the woodpeckers hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul
Take a smell-, take a smell, take a smell, revolting
76

ROLL YOUR LEG OVER
Oh, if all little girls were like fish in the ocean
And I were a whale I would teach the emotion
Chorus: Oh roll your leg over, Oh roll your leg over
Oh roll your leg over the man in the moon
Oh, if all little girls were like bells in the tower
And I were a clapper I!d hang by the hour
Oh, if all little girls were like fish in the river
And I were a sandbar I!d sure make them quiver
Oh, if all little girls were like sheep in the pasture
And I were a ram I'd make them run faster
Ch, if all little girls were like little white rabbits
And I were a hare I would teach them bad habits
Oh, -if all little girls were like little red vixens
And I were a fox I surely would fix !em
Oh,-if all little girls were like Hedy Lamarr
I'd try twice as hard .and get twice as far
Oh, if all little girls were like cows in the clover
And I were a bull I would case them all over
Oh, if all little girls were like little white flowers
And I was a bee I would buzz them for hours
Oh, if all littles girls were like little white chickens
And I was a rooster I'd give then the dickens
Oh, if all little girls were like little ole turtles
And I was a turtle I'd get in their girdles
Oh, if all little girls were liks Gypsy Sose ^ee
And I were her G-String Oh boy what I'd see
Oh, if all little girls were like nurses who would
And I were a doctor I would if I could
Oh, if all little girls ^ere like bricks in a r>ile
And I were a mason I'd lay them in style
Oh, I wish that all girls were like fish in a pool
And I were a chap with a wateroroof tool
77

OH IT'S BEER BEER BEER
Oh it's beer, beer, beer,
That makes you want to cheer
In the Corns, in the1 Corps
Oh it's beer, beer, beer,
That makes yon want to cheer
In the US Air, U.S. Air E0rce
Chorus: % eyes are dim, I cannot see
I have not brought my snecs with me
Whishey- That makes you feel so friskey
Gin- That makes you want to sin
Vodka- That makes you feel you oughta
Sautern- That makes your belly burn
Vermouth- That makes you feel uncouth
Bourbon- That makes you feel like chirpin
Wine- ^hat makes you feel so fine
Rum- That makes you feel so dumb
Rye- That makes you feel so sly
Brandy- That makes you feel so dandy
Likker- That makes you ever sicker
Sherry- That makes you feel so hairy
THE B-36
The B-36 flies at.40,000 feet, The B-36 flies at 40,000 feet
The B-36 flies at 40,000 feef,
But it only carries on little teensie weensie bomb
Tons and tens of ammunition, tons and tons of ammunition
Tons and tons of ammunition,
But it only carries one little teensie weensie bomb
THE PRETTIEST GIRL I EVER SAW
The prettiest girl I ever saw
Was sipping bourbon through a straw
The prettiest girl I ever saw
Was sipping bourbon through a straw
And now and then the straw would slip
And K'd sip bourbon through her lips

^nd now I've got a mother in law
From sipping bourbon through a straw
The moral of this story1s clear
Don't sip a bourbon, sip a beer
78

KIMPO SONATA
Oh I was sent to Nellis, I was sent to train
I learned how to bomb and strafe, from and aeroplane
Oh I was sent to Kimpo, to he a killer too
But all I git is a hunch of shit from you and you and you
I knew a fighter pilot, no smile unon his face
And many!s the time I h -eard him say
I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE
OH THE 335TH IS A VERY FINE SQUADRON
(Tune- Old 97)
Ohe the; 335th is a very fine squadron
Their pilots are all true blue
But they bring back drawere that smell like dogshit
From the dog-fights at old Sinanju
ODE TO THE JOC DUTY OEEICER
You ought to be dead you eld bastard
You ought to be damned well shot
YQu ought to be tied to the door of k shit house
And left ther to damned well rot
I!ve sat in this damn cockp8t for hours and hours
I!ve stuck it as long as I could
l!ve stuck it and stuck it, so now I say fuck it
My ass holers not made out of wood
foreS?:in fugitives
Eyes right, assholes tight, foreskins to the front
We!re the boys who make no noise, we're always chasing cunt
We are the fliers of the night, we'd rather fuck than fight
We are the foreskin fugitives
ICE ON THE RICE
When he ice is on the rice in olu Tsuiki
And the saki in the cellare atarts to freeze
When you turn to her and say, "My darling do20"
Then you're turning just a skoshi Nipponese
THE BALLS OF O'LEARY
(Tune- The Bells of St Mary)
The balls of O'leary
Are wrinkled and weary
Are battered and tattered
Like the dome of St Paul
The people all muster to see that great cluster
Of the wonderful pair of OfLeary!s balls
79

OF THE MISERY OF LIVING- IN SIN
CHORUS
Oh the misery of livin in sin
If ■ you keep on fly in, you*re "bound to spin in
If down fedela road yon travel too far
Black Dragon Yon111 meet death at the Bar
Why I went over on PCS
To live in Morocco is anyones quess
To live in Morocco is anyones quess
Little did I know that life in Maroc
Could ruin a red hollded healthy hot rock
Chorus
I went to Fedela on bright sunny day
There were "boucoup Fatimas to take all my pay
I kicked out a dead one and gave her a go
Doc Brossi, Doc Brossi, Please say it ain't so.
Chorus
There were small ones and tall ones, and fat- ones and thin ones
they washed it, kissed it, and then stuffed it in
They suck you, they fuck you, tie you nuts in a knot
If the vino doesn!t kell you, you111 die of the rot*
Chorus
While sittin on five, you have fuck all to do
no Bogies, no strangers to shoot at for you
Don1t sit -with your thumb up your ass where it stinks
Call Randall for pidgeons direct to the Sphinx
Chorus
When the coo gets so hard that you can!t force a pee
Don!t sweat it Black Dragons, just listen to me
Co D0wn to Fedela with three mill on hand
Thirty minutes in heaven will wilt any man
79-A

THE BASTARD KING OE ENGLAND
Oh minstrels sing of a mighty king
Who - Jay long years ago
Ruled his land with an iron hand
But his mind was weak and low
His only under clothing was
A filthy undershirt
It was long enough to hide his hide
But never to hide the dirt
He loved to hunt the royal stag
Within the royal wood
But the sport he loved the "best of all
Was pulling the royal pud
Wild and wolly and full of fleas
Lis terrible tool tring down to his knees
God save the "bastard king of England
Now the queen of Spain was a sprightly dame
And an amorous dame was she
And she loved to fool with the royal tool
Erom far acroos the sea
So she sent a special message
Ly a special messenger
And asked the royal bastardship
To spend the night with her
When Phillip of Erance heard this
He summoned his royal court
Said she prefers my rival
Just "because my tool is short
So he sent the Duke of Slip and Slap
To give the queen a dose of clap
And thus avenged the "bastard king of England
When news of this foul deed
Did rea^h fair England's halls
The king he swore "by the shirt he wore
He'd have old Phillip's balls
So he offered a night with the sweet Hortense
To the man :-ho fd nut the king of Erance
And thus avenge the bastard king of England
Up spoke the duke of Suffold
He took himself to Erance
Declared himself a flutter
The king took down his pants
He dropped a thong aroung his dong
Jumped on his horse and galloped along
And thus avenged? the bastard king of England
80

THE BASTARD KING- OP ENGLAND (Conft)
Nov Philjip assumed a royal stance
And groveled on the floor
Per dating the ride his royal pride
Had stretched a yard or more
And all the p;irls in England
Came down to London town
And shouted around the castle
To hell with Snglands crown
So Phillip assumed the throne
His sceptes was the royal hone
With which he downed the hastard king of England
ASS HOLES APE CHEAP TODAY
Ass holes are chea;o today
Cheaper than yesterday
Little hoys cost half a crown
Standing up or lying down
Larger boys cost seven and.six
Cause they take bigger pricks
Ass holes are cheap
Are cheap today
THREE WHOSES PROM CANADA JUNCTION
Three whores walked down from Canada Junction
Pull of brandy and wine
The topic of conversation was
Your cunts no bigger than mine
Chorus: Poly poly tickle my holey
Slippery slimey slue
Rattle your nuts across my guts
I'm one of the whorey crew
The first old whore got up and said
My cunt!s as big as the air
The birds fly in and birds fly out
And never touch a hair
The second old whore got up and said
My cunt!s as big as the moon
A man went in in January
.and didn!t come out till June
The third old whore got up and said
Man you're all talking balls
Cause when I have my period
It's like Niagra Palls
81

SALOME
Down our street, we had a merry party
Everybody there was oh so gay and hearty
Talk ahout a treet, we ate all the meat
And we drank all the heer
In the "boozer down the street
There was aid Uncle Joe, fair fucked up
We locked him in the cellar with the old hull pup
Little sonny Jim, tried to get it in
With his ass hole winking at the moon
Oh, Salome , Salome
Your should see Salome
Standing; there, with her ass all bare
Waiting for someone to slide it in there
To slide it, and glide it
Right up her facking chute
Two brass balls and a prick of steel
And a foreskin, full of shit
SheTs a bi^ fat cow, twice the size of me
Hairs on her belly like the branches of a tree
She can jump fight fuck
Wheel a barrow push a truck
That's my girl Salome
On Monday night, she takes it up the back
On Tuesday night, she takes in all the slack
On Wednesday night, she had a spell
On Thursday night, she fucks like hell
On Friday night, she takes it up her nose
In between her fingers and down between her toes
On Saturday night, she dishes out gams
And she goes to church on Sunday
She just wants me for a sunbeam
And a fucking fine sunbeam I'll be
GOING HOME
(Tune - Out On the Texas Plains)
I?m gonna head my ship into the wide blue sea
With my nose into the West
I!m gonna find a gal that was made for me
I'm gonna give her all my best
I'm gonna head my ship toward that old West coast
Roun^ Long Beach and L.A.
And when we all get home we will drink a toast
To those long forgotten days
I'm gonna fly all day, I'm gonna fly all night
Toward that setting sun
And when that good coast line looms into sight
My work has just begun
(C0n!t)
82

GOING HOME (Conft)
I'M §onna find a gal that just don't give a darn
I'M gonna love her night and day
/*- '1 if she says no no I'm gonna twist her arm
Cause I'm gonna get my way
I'm gonna drink ifiyself into a total wreck
Ilm gonna love until I die
I got a pilots mind and a flyer's rep
I couldn't he good if I tried
So won't you gust relax
For there is one more verse of the things I!m gonna do
I know that times are bad, hut they coule he worse
So here's my parting word to you
I'll ne'er forget thie war until the day I die
Cause it's changed my life's flight plan
And when my days are o'er and my time draws nigh
' "~j g.^-~a die drunk if I can
RIO RIO RIO
Chorus: Rio, Rio, Rio, Rio, Jesus christ how I feel
Fresh from a shore house, prick full of steel
Thats my organ grinder
Laid her in her fathers hall
Spread her ass from hall to hall
Shoved it u^. into her gall
With my old organ grinder
ducked her in her fathers bed
Shoved it up into her head
Fu^'-^d that girl till she was dead
With my old organ grinder
Followed her to the "burial ground
Just to go another round
Fucked her as they lowered her down
With my old or^an grinder
Some folks say I am a knave
Say that I do not behave
Cause I jacked off on her grave
With my old organ grinder
OK MY GOD
Oh my God, we've all done wrong
We've all been drunk for so GOD DAMN long
And we don't give a Jesus if it rains, hails or freezes
Let the old man say what he GOD DAMN pleases
We're just a bunch of shitsters, a bunch of booze histers
FIGHTER PILOTS ALL
83

IN FLIGHT BEFUELING- f fjj^ afc*[(
(Tune - Strawberry Rhone )\
Oh come fighter pilots, both young and old
And Ifll tell you a story, that111 make you turn cold
A story of tankers, and a flight out to sea
And I hate to tell you what they did to me
Oh we took off from George, oh so early one morn
The weather was balmy, but not really warm
We soon left the coast line, and headed to sea
And for the last time land I did see
vh we flew on for hours, it seemed like more
We flew and we flew, till my butt it got sore
Add wwe finally got to that point far from land
Where there were supposed to be tankers at hand
But yes, you have guessed it, no one was there
Nothing around, but ocean and air
We called and we called, but it was in vain
There was nobody out there to refuel my plane
Ch w^ circled and circled, a.nd hollered for gas
The pain was bigninig, to leave my ass
'Twas begining to pucker, and turn a. dull hue
When finally a tanker came into view
Well bygones were bygones, and we didn't bitch
We just latched onto, that sonofabitch
What ho, called the scanner, "It's under your wing
If you don't hook up, you likely will ding J"
Well I stabbed and I stabbed, and I stabbed some more
But I couldn't hit, that dirty old whore
I looked at my gas gauge, and it was down low
I backed off again, and tried it real slow
So I tried It real slow boys, but that didn!t work
So I tried again fast, what a hell of e, jerk
The funnel it hit me, one hell of a blow
As I looked at the cold water down there below
I looked at that water, so cold and so chilled
And I thought to myself, I111 soon be killed
So I'd better hook up, and take on some fuel
Cause that water below looks uncomfortably cool
So I finally did it, I hit that damn hose
I hit that old funnel, rights square on the nose
The engineer said, "Sir, your taking on fuel"
But the bastard was lying, the dirty old fool
I called that damn scanner, said, "Turn on the gas
I can't wait much longer, or I'll bust my ass,"
He looked ur> from his paper, and said with a grin
"You know there are days sir, when you jjiust can!t win"
(Cont next page) . 8^

IN PLIGHT BBPDB1ING (Con(t)
That's the end of my story, I1m sorry to say
That old F-100, lies out in the bay
But I!ll have my vengence, you can "bet your life
Cause there's one tanker pilot, that I'm gonna knife
I LOVE OLD WING OPS AND FLYING SAFETY
(Tune-Dear Hearts and Gentle Pedple)
1 Love old Wing Ops, and Flying Safety
Ther're nothing hut hot air
But if you bust one, and hit the barrier
Your know damn well that they111 be there
I read my dash one, from dawn till sunset
But It don't go so well
For when the board meets, and I go up there
I know they1re going to give me hell
I feel so helpless, each time I try to fly
For I know they'll v/atch each move I make
And so itrs Wing Ops, and ^lying Safety
Watching every rule I break
SHOW ME TH3 WAY TO GO HOME
Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Wherever I may roam
Ci land or aea or fa am 7-
You will always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home
Indicate the way to my abode
I'm fatigued and want to retire
I had a spot of beverage sixty minutes ago
And it went right to my cerebellum!
Wherever I may perambulate
On land or sea or atmoshperic vapor
You can always hear me crooning this melody
Indicate the way to my abode
BUDDY
BUDDY, BUDDY, have a good time
Stay In bed till half past nine
Drink your drink and flub your dub
86th Fighter Country Club
85

LEE<S HOOCH IE
(Tune-On Top of Old Smokey)
I went to Seoul Sity, and net a Miss Lee
Se said for a short time, oh come sleep with me
We went to Lee*s hoochie,. A room with hot floors
I left my shoes outside, and slid shut the door
She took off her long Johns, and rolled out the pad
I gave her ten thousand, "twas all that I had
Her breath smelles of kimchie, her bosoms were flat
Ho hair on her pussy, now what about that
I asked to go ben jo, she led me outside
I reached for old smokey, he crawled back inside
I rushed to the medics, cried, "What shall I do"
The doc was dumf ounded, old smokey was blue
How when you!re in Seoul City, on your next three day pass
Don't go to Lees Hoochie, sit flat on your ass
How your ass nay get blistered, and Lee may tempt you
But better the red ass, that old smokey blue
COCAINE SUE
Oh morphine Bill and Cocaine Sue
Truckinf down the avenue
Chorus: Oh honey have a sniff, have a sniff on me
Honey have a sniff on me
How right on Broadway, left on main
To get a shot of old cocaine
How in ttet drugstore hung a sign
We ain't got no more morphine
In a graveyard on a hill
Lies the remains of Morphine Bill
And in that graveyard by his side
Lie the remains of his cocaine bride
How the moral of this story just goes to show
There ain't no fun in sniffIn ! snow
HOHEY
Oh, Honey, Honey, Bless your heart
Cause you're the honey that I love so well
My heart beats true, sweetheart for ycu
Cause you1re the honey that I love so well
86

THE COED AND THE CADET
The Coed and the Cadet were courting I declare
Down "by the gate they didn't know that I was there
Oh the Coed she was bashful and the Cadet he was shy
He asked her if he could and this was her reply
Ton can do it if you wanna
But you'd "better do it right
You'd better not do it
Like you did the other night
Cause if you do, I!m telling you
I111 never let you do it again
I really mean it
I1!! never let you kiss me again
A MS WITHOUT A WOMM
A man without a woman
Is like a ship without a sail
Is like a boat without a rudder
Like a kite without a tail
A man without a woman
Is like a shipwreck on the sand
But if there's one thing worse in the universe
It's a woman without a man
?or you can roll a silver dollar
Cross the bar room floor
And it will roll,, because it's round
And a woman never knows what a good man she's got
Until she turns him down
So honuy listen, now honey listen to me
I want you to understand
That a silver dollar goes from hand to hand
While a woman goes from man to
RED SCARFS
(Tune-Strawberry Blonde)
How the 12th lighter Squadron they don't show me much
While the Red scarfs fly
Their technique is bad and their bombing is sad
While the Red Scarfs fly
Their guns are corroded, their pilots are loaded
Their cockpits are covered with dust
They fly for awhile, but they ain't got no styjhe
While the Red Scarfs fly
87

!ffiE CHEETAS
Oh it is easy to see it's not the roosters
For the roosters only crow
-And it is easy to see it's not the cobras
For the cobra never put on such a wonderful show
Oh it is easy to see it's not the foxes
For the foxes are too few
Oh it's easy to see, who else could it he
But the Cheetas, every time
DO YOU MOW MY SISTER TILLY
Do you know my sister Tilly
She's a whore on Piccadilly
Add my mother is the same upon the strand
Md my father sells his ass hole
At the Elephant and Castle
We're the finest whoring family in the land
When you wake up in the morning
With your hands upon your knees
Add the shadow of your penis on the wall
And the hair a-growing thick
Between your ass hole and your prick
And the rats are playing snooker with your "balls
MUSTANG fS RIM BY MERLE?
Mustangos run "by Merlin, and Merlin1 s run "by me
I am run by(Sq CO), and he can climfb a tree
Oh we'll all hang old (Sq 00) to the top of a plole
And we'll all be home by Christmas
In a pigs ass hole
(Sq CO) is run by (Wg CO), and (Wg CO) run by (AD CO)
(AD CO) run l^y (AE CO), and (AE CO) knows where he can go
Oh we'll hang old (AE CO) to the top of the pole
And we* 11 all be home by Christmas
In a pigs ass hole
THE CAMDLE SONG
All the nice girls love a candle
Cause a candle has a wick
And there's something about a candle
That reminds them of a prick
Uice and greasy, slips in easy
It's the maidens pride and joy
You can hear them sing and shout
As they pop it in and out
Ship Ahoy, Ship Ahoy.
88

(Tune-Thanks for the Memories)
Arigato for the memories
Of train wrecks on the line
Of G-inza marts and honey carts
Arigato, so much
Arigato for the memories
Of steaks we couldn't eat
Old left over meat
Of powdered milk and girls in silk
Kiiaonas on the street
Arigato, so much
Few are the times we've foasted
And inany's the time we 've fasted
R and R's were swell while they lasted
We didn't have fun, and no harm done
So Arigato for the memories
Of special Allied cars
All the different bars
Of whiskey cokes and dirty jokes
And undeserved D.H,' s
Arigato , so much
Arigato for the memories
Of dead fish on the shore
Nats bechid the door
The Kamakura 3uha and brocades that we all wore
Arigato so much
Arigato for the memories
Of snacks at the PX
All those talks on sex
The broken bones we suffered, in Takusan jeepo wrecks
Arigato so much
We say hello with martini's
We'll say sayonara with saki
The Japs won't forget all that khaki
Honshu's not the same, but we(re glad we came
Arigato so much
Arigato for the memories
Of lanterns after dark
Rickshaws in the park
The funny names, the baseball games
We really left out mark
So Arigato, so much
89

AURALEE
As the "blackbirds in the spring
Heath the willow tree
Sat a piped the song they sang
Singing Auralee
Auralee—Auralee—Maid with the golden hair
Sunshine came along with thee
And shadows in your hair
TELL-ME WHY
Tell me why, the ivy twines
Tell me why, the stars do shine
Tell me why, the ocean1 s blue
I'll tell you why, it's because I love you
Because God made, the ivy twine
Because God made, the stars to shine
Because God made, the oceans blue
Because God made you, is why I love you
BATTLE HYMN
(Tune-Battle Hymn of the Republic)
We fly our fucking Sabres at 10,000 fucking feet
We fly our fucking Sabres through the rain and snow and sleet
And though we think we're flying south
We're flying fucking north
And ve make our fucking landfall on the firth of fucking forth
Chorus: Glory, glory halleluia, Glory;" Glory, Halleluia
Glory, Glory, Halleluia, (Insert last line each verse)
We fly those fucking Sabres at fuck all 1,000 feet
We fly those fucking Sabres through the trees and corn and wheat
And though we think v/e fly with skill
-We*-fly with fucking luck
But ve don't give~&--riiekii*g damn or b&re; a bucking fuck
We fly those fucking Sabres at 10,000 feet
We fly those fucking Sabres through the rain and snow and sleet
And though we think we're flying up
We're flying fucking down
And we bust our fucking asses when we hit the fucking ground.
90

SPANISH GUITAR
Oh the first porrt of call it was Aden, Aden
Where the girls wouldn't screw, but we made fem, Made fem
Chorus: Three dollars you pay, for a hang w* each way
And a tune on a Spanish Guitar plink, plink, plink
Singing Hi-ziggy-ziggy, fuck a little piggy sideways
" ish, Swish
U-r idea of a woman is a big fat whore
Shit-bang, luck-stick
Three dollars you pay, for a han& ur> each way
And a tune on a Spanish Guitar plink, plink, plink
Oh the next -oort of call it was B0stom, Boston
Where the girls wouldn*t screw, but we forced fem, forced fem
Oh the next port of call it was Malta, Malta
Where the girls would!nt,. but ought'a,, oughtla
Ch the next port of call it was Suwon, Suwon
Where the firls they would do it for two won, two won
TALL GRASS
In the tall tall grass
Young Mary lay a-sleeping
When out of the tall grass
A pilot same a-creeping
With his Idng dingle dangle dingling
Right down to his knee
Three months have gone ~oy
Young Mary she grew bolder
She wished that the pilot
Would come and do it over
With his long dangle dingle dangling
Right down to his knee
Six months have gone by
And Mary she grew fatter
The neighbors did wonder
Just who had been at her
With his long dingle dangle dingling
Right down to his knee
Nine months have gone by
And Mary burst asunder
And out jumped a pilot
With his 67th number
With his skoshe dangle dingle dangling
Right down to his knee
91

THE MAID OF THE MOUNTAIN
The maid of the mountain
She pisses like a little fountain
Cause the hairs on her dickie-di-doo
Hang down to her knees
One black one, one white one
And one with a little shit on
Cause the hairs on her dickie-di-doo
Hang down to her knees
I!ve been there, I've seen it
I've been right between it
Cause t e hairs on her dickie-di-doo
Hang down to her knees
I've smelt it, I've felt it
And it feels just like velvet
Cause the hairs on her dickie-di-doo
Hang down to her knees
I've tangled, I've dangled
I've fucking near got strangled
Cause the hairs on her dickie-di-doo
Han^r down to her knees
BYE BYS BLACKBIRD
(Tune-Bye Bye Blackbird)
There was a nan, he was no good
He took a girlie In the wood
He flies mustangs
Then he took off all her clothes
And her shoes, and herhose
He flies Mustangs
He took her where nobody else could find her
Took a string and tied her hands bechid her
Walked away and began to sing
Began to sing, ting-a-ling
Mustangs, I fly
SEPBSQA
(Don't ask me what it means, I don't know either)
Ch, I loved her and I kissed her in the moonlight
And the moon shone bright all day
Oh, I loved her and I kissed her in the moonlight
An-"; the moon shone bright all day
Gol darn that moon
92

MINNIE THE MERMAID
Many!s the night I spent with Minnie the Mermaid
Down at the bottom of the sea
Minnie lost her moral-s, down there among the corals
Gee, but she was mighty nice to me
NowTs many^ the night with the pale moon shining
Down on her seaweed bungalow
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Two twin beds and only one of them mussed
Now you can easily see, she!s not my mother
Because my mother*s forty nine
And you can easily see, she!s not my sister
Because I wouldnH show my sister
such a hell-uv-a good time
And you can easily see, sheTs not mj sweetheart
Because my sweetheart*s to refined
She^ just a peach of a kid
She never knew what she did
She1 s just a personal friend of mine
TWO LADIES '/ERE CONFIDING
(TuEe- River Shannon Elows)
Two ladies were confiding
On a streetcar where they were riding
Oh they must have been school teachers
Their conversation ran that way
One said, How many children have you
She replied, I!ve thirty thank you
And when the same was asked the other
She said IJ've thirty two
An old, Irish lady, seated across the aisle
Said I heard your conversation
A.nd I greet you with a smile
You must have been grand ladles
To have had so many babies
But your husbands must have come from
vtfhere our River Shannon flows
MOTHER HUMPERS BALL
(Tune- Barktown Strutters Ball)
Oh there ls gonna be a ball at the Mother Bumpers Hall
'The witches and the bitches gonna be there all
Now honey don't be late, cause they're passin out pussy, bout half
Now I've humped in Erance and I!ve humped in Spain /past eitht
I've even been humped on the coast of Maine
But the best piece I ever saw
Wa.s when I humoed my mother in law
Last Saturday night at the Mother Humpers Ball
93

GLORIOUS
How the first thing they prayed for
They prayed for their king
Glorious, glorious, glorious king
If he have one son, may he also have ten
May he have a fuckin army, cried the airmen Amen
Chonus: How the Squadron Leader and the Wing Commander
And the Group Captain too
Hands in their pockets with fuck all to do
Robbing the pay of the poor Acey-Due
May the lord shit you sideways
Cried the airmen fuck you
Now the next thing they prayed for
They prayed for their Queen
Glorious, glorious, glorious Queen
If she have one daughter, may she also have ten
May *a ,have a fuckin harem,* gried the Airmen Amen
How the next thing they prayed for
They prayed for their beer
Glorious, glorious, glorious, geer
If we have one beer, may we also have ten
May we have a fuckin "brewery, cried the airmen Amen
DRUNK
Drunk last ni^ht, dmank the night "before
Gonna get drunk tonight, as I've never "been duunk before
Cause when I'm drunk, I'm as happy as can be
Cause I am a nember of the souse family
How the souse family is the best family
That ever came over from Old Gernany
There's the Highland Dutch, and the lowland Dutch
The Rotterdam Dutch add the Goddamn Dutch
Siging Glorious, Glorious
One keg of beer for the four of us
Glory be to God that there are no more of us
For one of us could drink it all alone, Damn Hear
Here's to the Irish, , dead drunk-------The lucky stiffs
HARRIGAH
H—A, double R—I, G—A—H spells Harrigan
Sure I'm proud of all the Irish that's in me
And a devil a man can say a word agin! me
H—A, double R—I, G—A—H, you see
That's a name to which no shame hai3 ever
been connected with Harrigan, that's me
9^

KEYHOLE IN THE DOOR
I left the canteen early, it was shortly after nine
And by a stroke of fortune, her room was next to mine
Like any brave "Columbo" with regions to explore
I took up my position.by the keyhole in the door
CHORUS:
Oh, the keyhole in the door, oh, the keyhole in the door
I took up my position by the keyhole in the door*
She crossed over to the fireplace her lovely figure to warm
With only a silken nightly to hide her gorgeous form
I prayed t iat she would take it off, just that and nothing more,
By God, I saw her do it throught the keyhole in the door.
That after many a pounding upon that paneled door
And after many a pleading, I crossed that threshold floor
So no one would over see what I had seen before
I hung her silken nighty over the keyhole in the door.
That night I slipt in clover and other things besides
And on that snow-white bosom I had a wonderful time
I awoke next morning early, my back it was sore
You!d think ITd been crawling through the keyhole in the door*
_ WHIFFENPOOF SONG
To the tables down at Maury's
To the place where Louie dwells,
To the dear old Temple Bar we loved so well
Sit the Whiffenpoofs assembled
With their glasses raised on high,
And the magic of their singing casts a spell*
Yes, the magic of their singing
Of the songs we love so well,
"Shall I wasting11 and Mavourneen" and the rest.
We will serenade our Louie,
While Life and voices shall last,
And in passing be forgotten with the rest.
We a~^e poor little lambs who have lost our way,
Baa, baa., baa.
We are little black sheep who have gone astray,
Baa,baa,baa♦
Gentlemen"songsters off on a spree,
Dammed from here to eternity.
God have mercy on such as we,
Baa,baa,baa.
95

LAST NIGHT
(Tune, Finieule-Finecula)
Last night I stayed up late to masturbate •
If felt so good—I knew it would
last night I stayed up late to beat my meat.
It felt so nice—I did it twice.
You should really see me on the short strokes;
It feels so grand, I use my hand.
You must really catch me on the long strokes;
It feels so neat, I use my feet.
Shake it, break it, beat it on the fib&rj
Smash It, bash it, thrust it through the door;
Some people seen to think that fucking1 s grand,
But for all around enjoyment I prefer to use my hand.
SIXTEEN TIMES
(Tune, "Sixteen tons11)
Some people say a man is made out of fear,
But a fighter pilots made out of whiskey and b~er—
VJhiskey and beer, rum and gin
If you fly the dot you're sure to spin in.
You fly sixteen times, what d1 you get,
Anothr day older and your weapon,is bent.
Col. Donalson don!t you call me, I'm weak and lame
I lost my ass in a poker game.
I awoke one morning when the sun didn't shine,
Got my ! chute and vent down to the line---
Down to the line to fly the "D"
But it was raining so hard I couldn't see.
I scrambled one morning with blood in my eye,
I:d had my fill of Overholt Rye---
Shot sixteen holes in a T-33
They1re going to hang my ass from a coconut tree.
When you see me coming better break to the right
1 Cause the 26th Fighter had a party last night—
My eyeballs are red an1 I'm mean as a bear,
Believe me SAMAP better clear the air.
96

LEADER OF THE GROUP
Oh, My name is Col Sweat and
IJia the leader of the group
Come into Operations and
I!U give you all the poop
1*11 show you where the enemies at
and where the flak is black
For I:ni the last one off the ground
And I'n the first one back,
Early aborts, Avoid the rush
69A

I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO
I used to work in Chicago, in a department store
I used to work in Chicago, I did but I don't any more
A lady came in, she asked for a hat' _•*-/ -?* . r ^
I asked her'w^at -kirid*'she. adored
Felt she said, and felt her I did
I did but I don't any more
Cake - Layer Glue ~ Paste Food - Pet
lamp - Floor Cream - Massage Razor - Injector
Birds - Love Girdle - Rubber Scafr - Neck
IT'S TRAGIC
You smile your teeth fall out, your hair smells like sauerkraut
It's Tragic
The bugs desert the air, and rush to nestle in your hair
It's Tragic •
It takes one look to know you have no charms
You1 re just a bag of bones with long surrounding arms
Your eyes are big and round
There's one that's blue and one that's brown
It's Tragic
You part your hair in place
And it keeps sliding down your face
It's Tragic
And as I tell myself
These things that happen are not really true
Yet in my heart I know the tragedy is really ycu
INTO THE AIR 69ERS
Into the air 69ers,
Into the air upside down.
Into the air 69ers.
Set your sights and let's go down, we'll all go down.
And when we see those bastard commies,
And we make then shit a pound*
You can bet those 69ers,
Aer all going down.
Into the air 69ers
Onto your back,, soixante-neuf"
We'll blast those MIG's, 69ers.
And watch their ass go Poof, Poof, Poof.
And when you see those, Golf -balls,J flying.
And the flak begins to blast.
You can bet the 69ers
Will bite nem inthe ass.
97

HORSE SHIT
THERE WAS A PILOT OF GREAT RENOWN,
THERE WAS A PILOT OF GREAT RENOWN,
THERE HAS A PILOT OF GREAT RENOWN,
UNTIL HE FUCKED A GIRL GROM OUR TOWN-
FUCKED A GIRL FROM OUR TOWN—
HA HA HA, HO HO HO, HORSE SHIT.
HE LAID HER IN A FEATHER BED,
HE LAID HER IN A FEATHER BED, HE LAID HER IN A FEATHER BED,
AND-THSN-HE TWISTED OUT HER MALDERHEAD,
TWISTED OUT HER MAIDENHEAD—
HA HA HA, HO HO KO, HORSE SHIT.
HE LAID HER ON A BINDING STAIR,
HE LAID HER ON A WINDING STAIR,
HE LAID HER ON A -ENDING STAIR,
AND-THEN-HE SHOVED IT CLEAR UP TO THERE-
SHOVED IT IN CLEAR UP TO THERE—
HA Hfi HA, HO HO HO, HORSE SHIT
HE LAID HER DOWN BESIDE A STUMP,
HE LAID HER DOWN BESIDE A STUMP,
HE- LAID HER DOWN BESIDE A STUMP,
AND-THEN-HE HISSED HER-CUNT AND SPLIT THE STUMP,
MISSED HER, C NT AND SPLIT THE STUMP—
HA HA HA, HO HO HO, HORSE SHIT.
HE LAID HER DOWN BESIDE A POND,
HE LAID HER: DOWN BESIDE A POND,
HE LAID HER DOWN BESIDE A POND,
AND-THEN-HE FUCKED HER WITH HIS MAGIC WAND,
FUCKED HER WITH HIS MAGIC WAND—
HA HA HA, HO HO HO, HORSE SHIT.
HE LAID HER ON IN" "EWEY GRASS,
HE LAID HER ON THE DEWEY GRASS,
HE LAID HER ON THE DEWEY GRASS,
AHD-THEN-HE SHOVED THE OLD BOY UP HER ASS,
SHOVED THE OLD BOY UP HER ASS,
HA HA HA, HO KO HO, HORSE'SHIT.
THE TOOK HER TO THE COUNTRYSIDE,
HE TOOK HSR TO THE COUNTRYSIDE,
HE TOOK HER TO T E COUNTRYSIDE,
AND-THSN-HE FUCKED THE GIRL UNTIL SHE DIED,
FUCKED THE GIEL UNTIL SHE DIED,
HA HA HA, HO HO HO, HORSE SHIT.
HE TOOK HEP TO THE BURIAL GROUND,
HE TOOK HER. TO TIE BURIAL GROUND,
HE TOOK HER TO THE: BURIAL GROUUND,
AND-THEN-HE THOUGHT HE'D HAVE ANOTHER ROUND,
THOUGHT HE'D HAVE ANOTHER ROUND,
HA HA HA, HO HO HO,--------------HORSE SHIT, HORSE SHIT.
9S

FOGGY, FOGGY DEW
OH, I All A BACHELOR, I LIVE ALL ALONE.
I WORK AT THE WEAVER'S TRADE
AND THE ONLY, ONLY T ING THAT I EVER DID WRONG,
WAS TO WOO A FAIR YOUNG MAID.
I WOOED HER IN THE SUMMER TIME
PART OF THE WINTER TOO.
AND THE ONLY, ONLY THING THAT I EVER DID WRONG
WAS TO SHIELD HER FROM THE FOGGY, FOGGY DEW.
QUE NIGHT SHE CAME TO MY BEDSIDE
AS I LAY FAST ASLEEP.
THIS PRETTY, PRETTY MAID
KNELT BY MY BEDSIDE
AND THEE SHE BEGAN TO ''IEEP.
SHE—WEPT, SHE CRIED
SHE DAMN NEAR DIED
ALASS, WHAT COULD I DO.
SO I TOOK HER INTO EED
AND COVERED UP HER HEAD
JUST TO SHIELD HER FROM THE- FOGGY, FOGGY DEW.
NOW A YEAR HAS GONE BY
STILI. A BACHELOR AM I.
AND I WORK AT THE WEAVER'S TRADE
COMES A—KNOCKING AT MY DOOR
IT'S VOICE I'VE HEARD BEFORE.
'TIS THE VOICE OF THE FAIR YOUNG MAID.
SHE—HANDED MS A LITTLE ONE
SHE SAID,,WHAT CAN I DO."
SO I TOOK HIM INTO BED
JUST TO COVER UP HIS HEAD
JUST TO SHIELD HIM FROM THE FOGGY, FOGGY DEW.
NOW I AM A BACHELOR, I LIVE WITH MY SON.
WE WORK AT THE WEAVER'S TRADE
AND EVERY, EVERY TIME THAT I LOOK INTO HIS EYES,
HE REMINDS ME OF THE FAIR YOUNG MAID.
HE REMINDS IS OF THE '.'INTER TIME, PART OF THE SUMMER TOO.
OF THE MANY, MANY TIMES THAT I GAZED INTO HER EYES
AND TO SHIELD- HER FROM THE FOGGY, FOGGY DEW.
LITTLE RED LIGHT
(Tune, "My Blue Heaven")
A TURN TO THE RIGHT, A LITTLE- RED LIGHT, WILL LEAD YOU TO MY RED HAVEN.
YOU'LL S£E A SMILING FACE ON A PILLOWCASE, A FORM DIVINE.
JUST A LITTLE OLD WHORE WHO'S BEEN-SCREWED BEFORE
A THOUSARD TIMES.
JUST MOLLY AND ME, THERE'LL NEVER BE THREE.
WE'RE CAREFUL IN OUR RED HAVEN.
99

DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW
(Tuhh- March of the Toy Soldiers)
DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW, DO THEY SWING TO END PRO
CAN YOU TIE THEM IN 1 KNOT CAN YOU TIE 'EM IN A BOW
CAN YOU THROW THEM O'VER YOU SHOULDER LIKE A EUROPEAN SOLDIER
DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW
IN DAYS OP OLD WHEN KNIGHTS '-/ERE BOLD
THEY SHIT RIGHT IN THEIR BRITCHES,
THEY WIRED THEIR ASS WITH BROKEN GLASS
THOSE TOUGHT OLD SONS OP BITCHES
IN DAYS OP OLD WHEN KIGKTS WERE BOLD
AND WOMAN WORE MERE TRIPLES
THEY HUNG THEIR BALLS UPON THS WALLS
AMD SHOT THEM DOWN WITH RIPLES
IN DAYS OP OLD WHEN KIGHTS VOIRE BOLD
AND WOMEN WEREN'T PARTICULAR
THEY BINDED TEM UP AGAINST THE WALL
AND FUCKED THEM PBRPENDICULiiR
IN DAYS OP OLD WHEN KIGHTS WERE SOLD
THEY WORE A LEATHER BRITCHES
THEY BEaT THEIR PRICKS WITH HICKORY STICKS
AND YELLED LIKE SONS OP 3ITCHES.
VIRGIN- STURGEON
(Tune, Puben Puben, I've been thinking)
CAVIAR COMES PROM A VIRGIN STURGEON
V/IRGIH STURGEON IS A VERY FIFE PISH
VIRGIN STURGEON NEEDS NO URGI1T'
THAT'S WHY CAVIAR IS MY DISH
SHAD ROE CCMSS PROM A SCARLET SHAD PISH
SHAD PISH SAVE A VERY SAD FATE
PREGAHT SHAD PISH IS A SaD FISH
GOT THAT WAY WITHOUT A MATE
OSYTERS THEY ARE FISHY BIVALVES
THEY HAVE YOUNGSTERS IN THEIR SHELL
HOW THEY DIDDLE IS A RIDDLE
BUT THEY DO SO WHAT THE HELL
THE GREEN SEE TURTLE'S MATE IS HAPPY
WITH HER LOVERS WINNING WAYS
FIRST HE GRIPS HER WITH HIS FLIPPER
THEN HE FLIPS AND GRIPS FOR DAYS
MRS CLAM IS OPTIMISTIC
SHOOTS HER EGGS OUT IN THE SEA
HOPES HER SUITOR IS A SHOOTER
HITS THE SiLPSffiME SPOT AS SHE (Con't Next Page)
100

VIRGIN STURGEON (C0n!t)
GIU A THOUGHT TO THE HAPPY CODFISH
ALWAYS THERE WHEN DUTY CALLS
FEMALE GOD FISH IS AIT ODD FISH
FROM HER COME YOUR COD FISH HALLS
THE TROUT IS JUST A LITTLE SALMON
JUST HALF GROWN AND MINUS SCALES
BUT THE OROUT, JUST LIKE THE SALMON
CfflfT GET ON WITHOUT HIS TAIL
LUCKIEST FISH ARE THE COMMON STARFISH
WHEN FOR OFFSPRING THEY ESSAY
YES MY HEARTIES THEY HAVE PARTIES
IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED WAY
I FED CAVIAR TO MY GIRL FRIEDN
SHE WAS A VIRGIN TRIED AND TRUE
NOW THAT VIRGIN NEEDS N URGIN
THERE AIN'T NOTHIN1 SHE WON'T DO
I FED CAVIAR TO MY GRANDPA
HE WAS A MAN OF NINETY THREE
SCREAMS AHD SHRIEKS WERE HEARD FROM GRANDMA
HS HAD CHASED HER UP A TREE
I FED CAVIAR TO MY GRANDMA
SHE CAME DOWN OUT OF THAT TREE
NGw MY GRANDMa AND MY GRANDPA
START TO RAISE A F.-MILY
I T*I) SOME C .VIAR TO MY ROOSTER
I FED SOME CAVIAR TO MY COW
NOW THE BARNYARD SURE LOOKS FUNNY
ALL THE COWS HAVE FEaTHERS NOW
JOIN THE AIR FORCE
Chorus:
OH, WHY DID I JOUN THE AIR FORCE
MOTHER, DEAR MOTHER KNEW BEST,
HERE I LIE BENEATHE A WRECKAGE
A SABRE JET OVER MY CHEST,
NOW WHEN YOU ARE OUT ON A MISSION
A MIG 15 MAKES A FINE PASS
REACH OVER SQUEEZE BOTH OF THOSE HANDLES
THE HELL WITH THE SHIP S4VE YOUR ASS.
101

PILOT'S HEAVEN
(Tune, Ghost Riders in the Bky)
AS WE WRE FLYING THROUGH THE SKY
ONE BRIGHT AND SUNNY DiiY,
WE SPIED A BIG BLACK THUNDERSTORM
ALYING IN OUR WAY
PLY RIGHT ON THROUGH, THE COLONEL SAIL
WE LO MOST iiNYTHING
AND HNOW WE'RE UP IN HEAVEN
AND HEAR THE ANGELS SING.
OH IT'S SO VERY NICE UP HERE
AWAY UP IN THE SKY
THERE NO ONE HERE WITH HEN-HOUSE WAYS
THERE IS NO TBY
THE POOL IS GOOD, THE GO'S SWEEL
WE HaVE NO NEED TO PEAR,
THE.RE'S NO SUCH THING AS OCS—
WE ALL WEAR WINGS UP HERE
AS \E LOOKED DOWN ON EARTH ONE DAY
WE SAW A GRUESOME SIGHT
IT MADE OUR BLOOD RUN V3HY COLD
IT TURNED CUR LIVERS WHITE,
THE WHOLE COMMAND PROM OMAHA
WAS HEADED U? THIS WAY
WE CALLED OUR LORD BEFORE US
AND ALL KNELT DOW TO PRAY
THE GENERAL TOLD OUR BOSS, THE LORD
NOW THIS IS NOT A PRANK
HE SHOUTED IN A MIGHT VOICE .
JUST WHiT'S YOUR DATS OP RANK
THE LORD SAT THERE—HIS HEAD WAS BOWED,
THE GENERAL SHOUTED CLEAR,
THERE'S JUST NOT ROOM IN HEAVEN
POR T'-'O CCS UP HERE
THE LGFD HE CALLED US 'PORE •.HE THRONE
AND THESE L-iST WORDS HE SAID,
YOUR TOUR U? HERE IS DONE, MY BOYS
YOUR MIGHT AS WELL BE DE.-J),
WE'LL SEND YOU OUT ON PCS -
BUT NAMES '3 CANNOT TELL
ONE HALF TO GO THREE NING 0 SIX,
THE OTHER HALF TO H-E-L-L
102

BANG IT INTO LULU
Some girls work in factories
Some girls work in stores
My girl works in a knockin1 shop
With forty other whores
Chorus: Bang it into Lulu
Bang it good and strong
What ' 11 we do for banging
'■Tien Lulu's dead and gon
Wish I was a Pisspot
Under Lulu's bed
Every time she stooped to pee
I'd see her maidenhead
Wish I was a finger
On Lulu's little hand
Every time she wiped her ass
I'd see the promised land
lulu had a baby
She had it on a rock
She couldn't call it Lulu
'Cause the bastard had a cock
Lulu had a bapy
She named it Sonny Jim
She threw it in the pisspot
To teach it how to Bwim
Last time I sav; Lulp
I havn't seen her since
She was suekin ' off a tiger
Through a barbed wire fence
IN THE SPRI2TGTIMS
In the springtime, in the springtime
In the springtime of yor^
I met a young lady who looked like a ____
Darling young maiden, as she lay in the grass
And gently rolled over and showed me her____
Diamonds and bracelets and little pet duck
And told me she'd teach me a new way to _____
Bring up my children and te ch them a knit
While farmers in barnyards were shoveling out,
Feed for their horses and cattle and sheep
In the springtime, in the soringtime
In the springtime -so Bweet
10S

THE COMMIES LAMENT
(Tune- Clementine)
Once a flier, do or dier, in his faithful Sabre true
After bitchin, flew a mission, to the town of Sinanju
Still in flight he, saw some mighty,. Hissian MIG-'s upon his tail
With a quiver, and a shiver, he let out an awful wail
Chorus: Sayonara, Sayonara, Sayonara,. Ah so Des
If you find me, never mind me
I will be an awful mess
Then a i-hastang, went in busting, Just to see what he could do
But alas, he made a pass and that was all, they got him too
Thought an 80 I'm so gr'eat he'll never get a shot at me
¥asn!t gone long when his swan song
Sounded just like this to me
Then a Thunder Jet who hadn't blundered yet
Thought hefd try it all alone
Like a blotter hit the water, shook the and of Davey Jones
So the tally in MIG alley isn't quite like all the claims
But as a fair course to the Air Force
Me won't mention any names
OLD FJMB.SR EIKS
Twas a dark and stormy night, not a star was in sight
All the Mustangs were tied down to the line
When in rain up to his ears, stood a lonely volunteer
with his orders to fly old number nine
His ass was racked with pain as he climbed into his plane
And his bung hole was puckered fit to tie
And he whispered a prayer as he clumbed into the air
For he knew that .^Ms was his night to die
As ha flew o'er Har^a-ru he cold see a school or two
And the women and children very well
But how v-s he to know that he'd fly so G-oddamned low
That his bomb blast would blow his ass to hell
In the wreck he was found thinly spread out on the ground
And the crunchies they raised his weary head
With his life almost spent here's the message that he sent
To his buddies who'd be sad to see him dead
I usea an 8 to 10 delay but it didn't work out that way
Without a tail a F4U v/0n1t fly
Tell the Skipper for me, that he now has twenty three
He can roll up the ladder---Semper Pi
104

SAM HOUSTON
A big black bull came down from the mountain
Huston, Sam Houston
A "big black bull came down from the mountain
Long time ago
Long t'ime a-;o o o o, ^ong time ago o o o
A big black bull came down from the mountain
Long time ago
He spied a heifer in the pasture grazin
Houston, Sam Houston
He spied a heifer in the pasture grazin
Long time ago
Long time ago o o o, Long time ago o o o
He spied a heifer in the pasture grazin
Long time ago
He yunped the fenee and he yumped that heifer
Houston, Sam Houston
He youmped that fence and he yumped that heifer
long time ago
Long time ago o o o, Long time ago o o o
He yumped that fence and he youmped the heifer
Long time ago
He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture
Houston, Spe Houston
He missed that heifer and pfft in the pasture
Long tine ago
Long time ago o o o, Long time ago o o o
He missed that heifer and pffft in the pasture
Long time ago
The big black bull went back to the mountain
Sxhau s ted, exhau s t ed
The big black bull went back to the mountain
Long time ago
Long time ago o o o, Long time as;o o o o
The big black bull went back to the mountain
Long time ago
COOL
I'm as cool as the tip of an eskimo's tool
I'm as cool as a fish in a frozen pool
Coll as a pane of frosty glass
Cool as the fringe around a polar bears ass
Cool
105

I AIN'T GOT HO USE FOR THE WOMEN
I AIN'T GOT NO USE FOR THE WOMEN:
A TRUE ONE CAN NEVER BE FOUND
TIffiY'LL USE A MAN FOR HIS MONEY
WHEN IT'S GONE, THEY'LL TURN HIM DOWN
THEY'RE ALL ALIKE AT THE BOTTOM
SELFISH, AND GRASPING FOR ALL
THEY'LL STICK BY A MAN WHEN HE'S WINNING
AND LAUGH IN HIS FACE AT HIS FALL
I ONCE KNEW A YOUNG CAW PUNCHER
HONEST AND U? RIGHT AND SQUARE
BUT 3E TURNED TO A HARD SHOOTIN GUNMAN
AND A WOMAN PUT HIM THERE
HS FELLIN WITH EVIL COMPANIONS
THE KIND THAT ARE BETTER OFF DEAD
WHEN A GAMBLER INSULTED HER PICTURE
HE FILLED HIM FULL OF LEAD
ALL THRU THAT LONG NIGHT THEY CASED HIM
THRU MESQUIT2 AND TALL CHAPARRAL
AND I COULDN'T HELP THINK OF HER PICTURE
WHEN I SAW HIM PITCH AND FALL
IF SHE'D BEEN THE PAL SHE SHOULD HAVE
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN RAISING A SON
INSTEAD OP OUT OF THE PRAIRIE
TO DIE BY a RANGERS GUN
DEATH'S SEAR? STING DID NOT TROUBLE
HIS CHANCES FOR EIFS WERE TO SLIM
BUT WHERE THEY WERE PUTTING HIS BODY
WAS ALL THAT WORRIED HIM
HE LIFTED HIS HEAD ON HIS ELBOW
THE B£QOD FROM HIS WOUND RAN RED
HS LOOKED AT HIS P^LS GROUPED AROUND HIM
AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID
BURY ME OUT ON THE PRAIRIE
WHERE THE COYOTES HOWL OVER MY GR.^VE
3URY ME OUT ON THE PRAIRIE
BUT FROM TEEM MY BONES PLEASE SAME
WRAP ME UP IN MY BLANK3CT
AND BUnY ME DEEP IN THE GROUND
COVER ME OVER WITH BOULDERS OF GRANITE, HUGE aHD ROUND
SO i-/E BURIED HIM OUT ON THE PRAIRIE
WHERE THE CO'OTES THEY HO..L O'ER HIS GRAVE
AND HIS SOUL IS NOW A RESTING FROM T HE UNKIND CUT SHE GAVE
AND MANY ANOTHER YOUNG PUNCHER,
AS HE RIDES PAST THST PILE OF STONES
RECALLS, OF SIMILAR WOMAN
AND THINKS OF HIS MOULDSRIN BONES
106

HINXY DI
Up in Korea midst hight rocks and snow

^he t)oor Chinese C0mmie is felling quite low
For as the Corsairs roar by overhead
He knows that his buddies all soon will be dead
Chorus: Hinky di Dinky Dinky di
Hinky di Dinky Dinky di
Lin Pao went way up to cold &ato Hi
His prize Chinese army in action to see
He got there a half hour after the IPs
And all that he found was their hats and their shoes
Run little chink men save your ass run
For 323 is out looking for fun
As the big white nosed Corsairs came down in their dives
YOU111 know the deathrattlers are after your lives
Uncle Joe Stalin your stooges h3.ve found
It just doesn't pay to invade foreign ground
For when they disturbed the severe morning calm
They brought on the rockets, bombs and napalm
Heroes to the 2~Cf the vought people too
And their well known product the blue P4U
To all gyrane pilots and carriers at sea
And to the deathrattlers squadron ol! 323
we fought at Pyong Yang and at Hagaru
At Kumb wa and Kaesang and Cyangbu
So here!s to our pilots and here*s to our crew
The target,' the snake, and the blue P4U
TEN THOUSAND DOLLAPS
(Tune- Old 97)
He was comin! on the downwind aoin1 one ninety per
When his Hundred went into a spin
He was found in the wreck with his hand on the throttle
And his body all covered with gin
Now the Pratt man said, "It can't be the engine
1 Cause that engine never chugs/1
So u~non examination, pulling blades in every station
They found it was the jet mix sludge
Chorus: (Low and S0ffc) (Tune-Funeral i%rch)
Ten thousand dollars going home to the floks
Ten thousand dollars going home to the folks
Oh won't they be excited, Oh won!t they be delighted
Just think of what they can buy
Ten thousand dollars going home to the folks
107

Til MY ROOT AROUSED A TREE
(Tune- Chisolm Trail)
Reached in my pocket, pulled out a penny
She said boy your con't have any
Chorus: Come and tie my root round a tree, round a tree
Cone and tie my root around a tree
Reaohdd in my pocket, pulled out a nickel
She said for that you don't even get a tickle
Reached in my "Docket, pulled out a dime
She said young man you're wasting your time
Reached in my pocket, pulled out a quarter
She said young man I:~»V, preachers daughter
Reached in my pocket, pulled out a half
She said young man you make me laugh
Reached in my pocket, pulled out six bits
All she did was wiggle her tits
Reached in my pocket, pulled, out a buck
he said young man you 've bought a fuck
Took her to the kitchen, laid her on the sink
Oh my G"od how her pussy did stink
Fucked her sittin' fucked her lyin1
If I!d had wings I'd a fucked her flyin'
I awoke in the morning, and quess what I saw
Fifteen chancers and. a big blue ball
I went to a doctor, cause my pecker was sore
My G-od said the doctor you've been taken by a whore
And now you can see, I'm a pecker less man
I fuck em with my finger and fool em when I can
Now the last time I saw her, and I haven't seen her since
She was jacking off a doggie through a barbed wire fence
I S2W HER SNATCH
I saw her "snatch" her stchel from the window
I held her for a moment in the rain
I kissed her "as" she hurried to the station
To see her brother "Jack off" on the train
108

CREEPING AND CRAWLING
One night as I was crawlinr and creeping, creeping, creeping
I spied a young maiden so peacefully sleeping
So roll your leg over, so roll your leg over, over more
I said to her can I come to bed with you
A nd then she replied you1 re not handcuffed or tied
So roll your leg over, so roll your leg over, over more
Her drawers were tight and I could not get in them
And then she replied there fs a knife on the table
The knife was sharp and her dra\^ers split asunder
And then we were banging like lightening and thunder
So roll your leg over, so roll your leg over, over more
In about nine months lay the poor maid asunder
And then she remembered the lightning and thunder
So roll your leg over, so roll your leg over, over more
HIMORESQUE
Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you
As we go strolling through the park
And goosing shadows In the dark
If Shermans horse can take It, why can't you
You're the guy that did the pushing
Put the wet spots on the cushion
Poot prints on the dash beard upside down
Ever since you met my daughter
She's had trouble passing water
Wish xhat you had never come to town
I!m the guy htat did the pushing
Put the wet spots on the cushion
Poot prints on the dash board upside down
Since I met your daughter Venus
I!ve had trouble with my penis
Wich !Td never seen your God damn town
I LOVE A BILLBOARD
I love a billboard, I always will
A sexy billboard gave me, my first thrill
When I was only a little child
A sexy billboard drove me wild,
109

THE HAIRY CHESTED EIGHT SIX
We1re from the Eight Six
The hairy chested Eight Six
Whenever we go out and have a ball
Ue take delight in stirring up a fight
And knocking hawks and tigers in the head
Till they1re dead
HA, HA; HA
ho! ho! ho
HEE, HEE, HEE
We have gotten
A rep for being rotten
We put poison in our CO!s Orean of Wheat
We1 re frcn the eight six
The hairy chested eight six
And we eat (ROAR) Raw Meat!
(Call the waiter - More Beer)
PADDY MURPHY
Have you ever been in an Irishiaans shanty
Where whiskey is plenty and the noney is scanty
A bed en the floor-, a roof of thatch
And a string on the door instead of a latch
Now there were icepicks and toothpicks
And all kinds of lunatics, ice crcari and cold ere air:
The girls were drinking kerosene
Now the night that Faddy Murphy died is one I111 not forget
The boys they started drinking and some ain*t sober 3^ct
Now the night that Paddy Murphy died
They cane fron far .and near
They took the ice right off the corpse, and put it in their
And that's how we shoved, cur respect for Paddy Murphy
That's how \jq showed our honor and our pride
That's hew we showed our respect for Paddy Murphy
On the night that Paddy died
HERE'S TO
Here's to________, he's true blue
lie ! s a drunkard through and through
He's a drunkard so they say
Oh he tried to go to Heaven
But he went the other way
So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
110

THE MOST CHIVIEROUS FISH
The most chivilrous fish in the ocean
To ladies forbearing and mild
though his reocrd be dark, is the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman or child
He dines upon seamen and skippers
And a tourist will his hunger aswage
And a fresh cabin hoy, will inspire him with joy
If he's past the maturity age
A doctor or lawyer or preacher
He'll gobble up any fine day
But the ladies, God Bless 'em, he'll only address 'em
Politely and go on his way
I can raedily dite you an instance
Of a lovely young lady fnom Breem
$ho was tender and Tsweet* and delicious to eat
And fell into the bay with a scream
She struggled and flounced in the water
And signaled in vain for her barque
She would surely have drowned* if whe had not been found
By a chivilrous man-eating shark
He bowed in his manner most charming
Thus soothing her impulses wild
Don't be frightened, he said, I've been properly bred
And will eat neither woman nor child
He proffered his fin and she took it
Such gallantry none can ispute
And the passengers cheered, as the vessel they neared
And a broadside was fired a salute
They soon were alongside the vessel
A life saving dinghy was lowered
*vith the pick of the , and her relatives too
And the mate and the skipper aboard
They had her on board in a juffy
The shark stood attention the while
Then he raised up his flipper, and gobbled the skipper
And went on his way v-'ith a smile
Thds shows that the king of the ocean
To ladies forbearing and mild
Though his record be dark, is the man-eating shark

^ho will eat neither woman nor child
111

LETS HAVE A PARTY
Parties make the world go abound
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
So lets have a party
We're gonna tear down the bar in our town Boo
We're gonna "build a new one Ray
It's only gonna he one foot wide Boo
But it'll he a mile long Ray
There'll he no bartenders in our har Boo
We're gonna h'-ve barmaids Ray
Cur barmaids will wear long dresses Boo
Made of cellophane Ray
You can't take our barmaids home Boo
They'll take you home Ray
You can't sleep with our barmaids Boo
They won't let you sleep Ray
Beer's gonna be 5&<f; a glass Boo
Whishey free Ray
Only one to a customer Boo
Served in buckets Ray
We're gonna throw all the \>e^r in the river Boo
Then wefll all go swimming Ray
lh girls allowed above the first floor Boo
With their clothes on Ray
There'll be no loving on the nance £loor Boo
And no dancing on the loving floor Ray
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world ^:o round
Parties make the world go round
SO LIST'S HATE A PARTY
SHANTY TOWN
There's a shanty in the town on a little plot of ground
With the green grass growin all around, all around
The roofs so worn so badly torn that it tumbles to the ground
Just atumble down shack nd it's built way back
'Bout twenty-five feet from the railroad track
Lingers on my mind most all of the time
Keeps calling me back to my little grass shack
I'd be just as sassy as Haile Selasse
If I were a king wouldn't mean a thing
Put my boots on tall read the writing on the wall
And it wouldn't mean a thing, not a goddamned thing
There's a queen waiting there in a rocking chair
Just blowing her top on G-aitors beer
I'm looking all around and trucking on down
'Cause I gotta get b-^ck to my shanty town
112

Let^s have a party, let's have some fun
Let!s have a party, the 86th Is her tonight
Break right, break left, streamers off the wing
Snap Dragon, Sweet roll, we do everything,
We are the joy hoys from ol Youngstown
Hello-, hillo, hello, hello-o-o
THE AIR EOHCE HAS GOEE TO HELL
(Tune: Mine eyes have seen the glory)
Mine eyes have seen the days of men
Who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts that laughed at death and lived
for nothing hut to fly
But now those hearts are grounded
and those days are long gone by

^he Air For ce has gone to Hell.
Chorus: G-lory flying regulations
Have them read at every station
Crucify the man that breaks one
The Air force's gone to Hell*
I have seen them in their T-Bolts when
their eyes were dancing flame
I have seen their screaming power dives
That plastered Hitler's name
But now they fly like sissies
And they hang their heads in shame
Their Spirit-s shot to Hell;
Chorus
NAVY PRAYER
Our father who are in Washington
Truman is thy name
The ^avy's done
The air force won
On the atIantic as in the Pacific
Give us this day our appropriations
And forgive us our accusations
As we forgive our accusers
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from French Morocco
For thine is the power
The B-36 and the Air Eorce
Eorever and ever----Airmen
112A

STREET CLEANER SONG
(Tune - Carolina In the Morning)
Nothing could be meaner
Than to be a street cleaner
In the morning
Nothing makes you bluer
Than to pick up horse manure
In the morning
When the horses unload
That's what I really hate
Cleaning up horse manure
From four AM till eight
Strolling with my pushcart
When the breezes smell like cheese
Iii the morning
There 's nothing more I fear
Than a horse with diarrhea
In the morning
Wh*-r carJt they drop those little balls
That don't stick to my overalls
In the morning
If I had Alladins lamp for only a day
I would make a wish or two
And here's what I'd say
I wish they would put glasses
All around those horses asses
In the morning
MOM'S IN BED
Mom's In bed., Peps on top
Kid's in the cradle say'n shoot it to her pop
Moms in bed, pops in jail
Sis Is in the corner yellin pussy for sale
Moms in the kitchen, pops locked up
My hunch-backed brothers got my sister knocked up
Got a model I ford, a tank full of gas
A mouth full of titty and a hand full of ass
Haven't got a nickel, haven't goi a dime
A house full of kids and none of them mine
113

Since the 4.5th came to Sidi Sllmane
They've got the french girls going insane
The french girls say they treat them nice
And they give then a better price
Chorus: Drinkin rum and coca cola
Go down Port Lyautey
Both Mother and daughter
Working for a Yankee dollar
In French Morocco it is nighty clear
The Frenchman gets one can of beer
While the 45th leads a life so fine
Just maJcing whopee all the time
The SAC boys came to Sidi this year
The girls all thought that they were queer
They don't dance, they just drink beer
They1 re glad that the 4-5th is here
The bomber jockeys came and left the girls so cold
They acted like a million years old
They don't spend money so they say
The wives in the states get all their pay
Before we landed on this field
The Officers club shoivred little yield
But now we'll build a club De Lux
The 45th is on the books
The anerican arras so they say
Allov; Frauleins only through the day
There's that click click click all the night
But the O.D. says it's quite all right
chorus: Drinking rum and coca cola
Go down to Valhalla
Both mother and daughter
Working for the yankee dollar
Up in Dsutschland it is clear
The girls don't drink much gin or beer
They will play and they will sin
But you:ve got to give up uour Sabre pin
Up in Frankfurt late one night
C^r tech rep got nighty tight
Made passionate love to a blonde in black
Now they're takin stitches in his back,
114

TO THE TABLES DOWH AT SIM'
(Tune-Whiffenpoof Song)
To the tables down at Sidi
To the place where Chester dwells

^o the dear old Dallas Bar we loved so well
Sang the motley crew assembled
With their glasses raised on high
And the horror of their singing sounds like hell
Yes, the horror of their singing
Of the songs that should sound well
w
hile we're wasting all the morning and our rest
We will serenade our Chester
While life and limb shall last
Till he's gone and been forgotten in the past
We're the 3906th who have gone astray
Baa, Baa, Baa
We'll try to be good till rotation day
Baa, baa, baa,
Officers, gentlemen, try to be
We think we'll be here till eternity
Oh, please send a replacement for me
3aa, baa, baa
At the choir practice nightly
All the songs are sweet and low
Till that good old demon rua begins to flow
Then tonsils they get rusty
And the voices get off key
And the wives declare that now they have to go
The women leave discretely
And the songs get more risque
And tales of war are told by those who fly
They fight the war in Burma
And the war in Europe too
And each one tries to tell a bigger lie
We are members of the Sisi choir
la, la, li
We will sing the song that you desire
La, la, la
Cocks men we profess to be
Full of scotch type energy
Hope we live on past this spree
la, la, la.
115

ROTATIONAL EVE
(Tune- Red River Valley)
Life in Sidi Slimane is so peaceful
But the rumors are true that we1ve heard
The quiet is soon to he broken
By arrival of SAC!S 303rd
From old Tucson they say they are leaving
Leaving homes and sweet lovin wives
They will come here to old French Morocco
And complicate all of our lives
Now they111 have lots of aircraft and people
And they111 have at least thirty I know
Who will spend all their waking moments
Making work for the base AIO
But we'll not he about to get excited
For the answer to most of our fears
Is to pass on the bu^k just as always
Straight on to the Corps of Engineers
The odds are that we cannot please them
There are sure to be waits and delays
But if we can stand it for two years
They can stand it for just thirty days
SOUTH OF THE BORDER
That louse of a boarder
Who else could it be
While I was away at work
That lousy jerk filled in for me
Oh I didSTt set angry
though it's driving me wild
For he may be the father of my only child
Oh the baby's first words were i^anana
It was then I could plainly see
That it was a real ^-exicana
And there1 s no Spanish blood in me
Oh I stabbed that boarder
I stabbed him that day
I cut him from the Rio Grande to the Sante Fe
I cut off his boleros
How he1!! never play
South of the border, in a Mexican way
116

NAUGHT LITTLE LOG
Once I had.a naughty little dog
A naughty little dog was he
I loaned him to a lady friend
To keep her company
ITow all around the house that night
That naughty little dog did hunt
He'd stick his nose beneath her dress
And try to smell her-----
Shame on you you naughty little dog
You make my temper rise
There's only one man in this whole world
Who can sleep between her-----
Thank the lady for the wine
I'll drink it for my supper
Damn the man who's got a girl
And ain't got the guts to----
Fumble fumble all around
It's time that we should start
I ate some beans for supper
And I think I'm going tc --------
Forty dollars I will bid
And six bits I will pass
Damn the girl the sote my dice
And stuck then up her------
Ask your partner for her name
I need it for a list
Excuse me while I go outside
And try to take a---------
Pistol belt around ray hips
And around this town I'll frolic
Take your partners in the house
^hile he plays with his-------
Ball, play ball the umpire cried
Oh how that roan can hit
Take him to the alley
Cause I t^.ink he's going to-----
Shame on you, you naughty little boy
You know that mule will kick
And there you stand behind hiro
W.th you hand upon his------
( on't next page) 117

NAUGHTY LITTLE DOG (CONTD)
Prick the elephant with the prod
To hear the monster yell
If he should step upon you
He would smash you all to _________
Help, help, the sailor cried
A s though the sea he swam
Swim or sink the skipper said
Cause I don't give a _________♦
Damn ixy hide for every little thing
I'll sing a little no re
Once I sat in a parlor
VJith nv anas around a _________.
Hold on there nj pretty little girl
What is it that you say
If ycu should sit on another mans lap
You1d set a dose of
Clap, clap, clap your hands
My song will never last
If you don't like this song I sing
You can kiss my bloody ass
SIDI SLIMANE ^ONG
(Tune - On Top of Old Smoky)
Now gather round closely, and we111 sing this refrain
Rout life In Morocco, at Sidi Slimand
There's not enough women, to grace this bare land
But there 1s not enough women, to grace this bare land
But there's plenty of rag heads, Cactus and sand
The heai- in the daytime, will wither your soul
While all the long evenings, you shiver with cold
It's so hot in old Sidi, whore no river flows
You'd think hell was above you, and heaven below
Each mar. here will tell you, that he's nalassigned
And the- Air Force commanders, have all lost their minds
We her-:; in Sidi, want to know why we1 re here
A nd we?ll not find our answer, in a big glass of beer
So we1 II try some tye whiskey, and we'll try demon rum
And a gallon of cognac, and the answer will come
We need some equipment, and we need some supplies
But improvement, will be a surprise
Work from dawn till sunset, on many big deals
While those boys from division, are dragging their heels
The boys you will notice, who take It so hard
Are recalled reservists, and the ^ir National Guard
While I'm sitting here singing, I've had an Idea
It's rough in Morocco, But death in Korea
118

XxCiX \jxis=>' rivixttaj.^. x^jii-A'^-fw^
Boy-san wipe away then tears
We1 re go in- down to the house of norrors
To let ole mother nature have her way
Goin to look into them norrors of glass
An watch myself get a piece of ass
Lettin ole nother nature have her way
Chorus: Closer, cone a skoshi bit closer
Oh there ain*t no use to dick aroung this way
Put your belly close to nine
We1 re gonna go pon-pon four or five tines
To let ole nother nature have her way
Moshi-noshi Boy-san nake a skoshi trip
Down to the Officers club at the strip
To let ole nother nature have her way
We1 re goin down to that glorified pub
Known as the Allied Officers Club
To let ole nother nature have her way
Shrinp cocktails and a great big steak
Will really put us on the nake
To let ole nother nature have her way
But before we go down to that palace of sin
VJe better load up with a few thousand Yen
To let ole mother nature have her way
Hooray now here we are at last
Mana=san parade then jo-sans past
To let ole nother nature have her way
Now that ,un,s as cute as apup with specks
Then chi-chi!s didn't cone iron no P.X:«
Just let ole nother nature have her way
Mana-san I111 take that one over there
With the great big chi-chiJs and the sukoshi hair
To let ole nother nature have her way
Oh it shorely seems an awful sin
to p^r this jo-san a thousand yen
To let ole nother nature have her way
Jo-santaihen kax^aii aa
Pom por. 0-nae-ni suki des ] ha
To let zle nother nature have her way
Mai, hai, so desu, suki dhsho
Keredono shakuhachii sulci nai yo
To let ole nother nature have her way
Oh you w.ake up in the morning feoling like shit
And nine days lat,:r it starts to drip
To let ole nother nature have her way
You tell Doc Eoetlebaun the fix you1re in
He fills yore ass full of penicillin
To let ole nother nature have her way
(con't next page)
119

LET OLE MOTHER NATURE HAVE HER WAY (Cont)
But you will really begin to curse your fate
When yore shankers break out as big as pie plates
To let ole nother nature have her way
^own to Doc Beetlebauc^s office again
To get youe ass full of aureoraycin
To let ole aother nature have her way
Then one fine mornin you jumo out of the sack
To find the little son-of-a-bitch has turned coal black
To let ole aother nature have her way
The doc says stand on your toes and cough
Imagine his surprise when your balls fall off
To let ole mother nature have her way
Don!t worry doc Beetlebaum tells you the score
They111 never be missed on your next 60-4
To let ole mother nature have her
But you111 sound a little funny transmittin for a fix
(High V0ice) Hello DF Homer one two three four five six
To let ole mother nature have her way
WE SOLD OUR CAW
We sold our cow
We sold our cow
We fve got no use
For your bull now
CLOVIS
(No tune)
He stood before the perarly gate
His face was-scarred and old
He stood before the nan of fate
For admission to the fold
"What have you done/11 St Peter said
,fTo gain admission here?1'
"I've been a fighter pilot, sir

^or many and many a year
ITve fought the dust and flown the JB*
With the frozen chosen few
Ifve been at Clovis ^ir ?orce Base
And parts of Texas too.n
The pearly gates Bwung open wide
St Peter touched the bell
nCome in and chose your harp, my friend
You*ve had your share of hell.
120

WE HEARD YOU WHEN YOU SANG
__________,__________, We heard you when you sang
We don!t like it, hut we111 listen,
For tomorrow you'll prohahly prang
This is table number one,
Number one, number one,
^his is table number one,
Where in the hell is two?
This is table (Squadron Number)
Who in the hell are you?
This is table best of all
Best of all, Best of all
Mhis is table best of all
ho is the hell are you?
Beer Song

^or it!s beer, beer, beer
Toat makes you want to cheer
Jn the corps, int the corps
or itfs beer, beer, beer
That makes you want to cheer
in the U S Air Force
My eyes are dim, I cannot see
I have (Hi) not (HO) brought my
^pecs with me*
iskey that makes you feel so frisky
Gin that makes you want to sin
^odka that makes you feel to hotka
Old Saturn that makes you beely burn
Old vermouth that makes you feel uncouth
Bourbon that makes you feel so chirpe
Wine that makes you feel so fine
Champagne, champagen, champagne, that
makes you want to campaign
or that makes you want to cheer
Rum that makes you feel so glum

It is sad, but true, that sooner or later, most ighter Pilots
find themselves shafted out of the Squadron* and into that oft
cursed orginazation called ^ir 3rse G-roup. ^is se^g is for
Them to sing to their former friends
(Tune- Save a Fighter Pilots Ass)
Pilots, gentle Pilots, pilots one and all

^ly hoys, flashy Ply hoys, please listen to our call
Buzz hoys, busy Buzz hoys, this is all we ask
Thake those Goddamn Sabre Jets and shove them up your ass
Choirus: $ing Halleluia, Sing Halleluia
Stick you finger up your ass, join the fighter pilot class
Sing Halleluia, ^ing Halleluia
Stick your finger up your ass and flap your wings
Who feeds the sons of hitches and clothes their scrawny hacks
Who guards their goddamn airplanes and heats their fucking shacks
Who gives them light and water, not Kimpo Power and G-ass
If they don't like the service they can blow it out their ass
TDY to Tsuiki, went to the Sabre Dance1
Saw a Sukoshi pilot get in a Josans pants
It cost him thirty dollars for just a little feel
Along came an Air Base Group man who got it for a steal
Jet Jocks are the hot shots, we'll tell you one and all
And when it comes to shooting, they're really on the hall
They had a little contest of prove who was the first
But when the score was counted they ended up the worst
You see these flashy Jet Boys climb from their shiny hacks
With moon suits and silly jock straps a hanging from their backs
They sing the praise of Sammy Small with wild and wide aciaim
Just Fighter Pilots—Pilots, without a fucking brain
T
xhey spin their yarns of Air Way, by pilots brave and fair
Eighty percent is bull-shit, and twenty more is air
We hear that they're by far the best and that we'd better believe
But where in the Hell would the fly boys be
If the Air B^se Group should leave
The squawk box screams of flak holes and tanks all out of gas
Of takusan MIG's and bandits a olaying on their ass
They set their bloomin balls shot off but still they brag of it
With one accord-we111 tell the world, they can't fly for shit
THE END

ABOUT THIS COLLECTION

This collection of bawdy ballads, limericks and US Air Force songs was compiled in the
1950's by my late father, Lt. Col. William John Starr, USAF. He probably started compiling
the material during his first tour flying the F-86 Sabre jet out of Kimpo Air Base, "K-14"
Korea in1953-54. At the time of the book's unofficial completion, around 1957-58, dad was
flying the North American F-100 Super Sabre at Cannon Air Force Base in New Mexico.

This booklet is about as original as you can get; the pages are actual photocopies of the
mimeographed folio dad kept. If there is a hand-typed original version somewhere (non-
mimeographed), it is probably in my brother's possession and reflects the exact contents of this
book. I do not know what the fighter pilots hymnbook original cover looked like. I suspect it
might have been the attached page containing the "Pilot's Toast" centered on the page. This
un-numbered page was found with the original collection.

Around 1958 or 1959 my father sent this collection of songs to folk singer Oscar Brand.
Inspired, Brand transformed the compilation into two albums "The Wild Blue Yonder: Songs
of our Fighting Air Force" and "Out of the Blue: More Air Force Songs". Dad's original ballad
"In Flight Refueling" was recorded on the second album. Brand credited my father on both
albums. Below is an interesting account from Brand's book "The Ballad Mongers".

"In my book "Singing Holidays, I pompously stated, "The Air Force is our youngest
service branch. Some popular songs have been written which might do very well as
theme songs, but we've decided to volunteer the following as our contribution to the
songbag of the Air Force." " The following" was a mild little creation parodying the old
Army song, "The Sergeant." As far as I was concerned that was as far as Air Force
folksong had Progressed. On January 12, 1959, Captain William Smart (sic), jet pilot
Veteran of WW II and the Korean War, sent me a privately collected and
mimeographed folio of 256 traditional Air Force songs. Many of the songs had been
created during World War I and refurbished in the years the followed…"

I can only assume that Mr. Brand or his editor accidentally misspelled my father's name (the
rank was correct for that time period in dad's career), and that the WW II reference was
another glaring typo; Dad didn't fly in WWII.

As indicated by a date stamp on Brands ' "The Wild Blue Yonder" and "Out of the Blue"
studio master tapes (which, as of the mid 1990's, were then archived in Atlantic Records
company vault), the first album, "The Wild Blue Yonder" was recorded around April 7, 1959.

Which song was my dad's favorite? I don't know. But my mother says he was very fond of
belching out "Sally" (page 4) and when he got to the part about "BAM BAM BAM!" he'd slap
his knee three times and roar with laughter. Myself, I've never settled on a favorite, but the
Brand versions of "I Wanted Wings", "Give Me Operations" and "The Prettiest Ship" are top
contenders.

John T. Starr

November 16, 2005