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SONGS
OF
RAUNCH
AND
ILL-REPUTE
A SORAIR PRODUCTION
SO^KSOFIL^fCK
A-^m#ISPUTE
A COLLECTION OPSOJCSFORK1JH
F^TI33, STAt^, A.mci^(HYOUT:r
GROUPS.
Scince the ^msic for ^any of these songs is
itell Lnoim, tre didn't include the scores. If you
,have ^AO idea of what to use fori^osiCy just open
another can^ m^d sta&t to sing a3^fay. Just pick a
folk son^ uelody, or fit the words to a contemporaiy
son^, tAich tAU probably be a cleaned up versinn
of our son^ a^^yvay.
30JG ?;*GE
JJLA LOOGY 25*
l^LL Q? -JUJI 4
L3LL BO-m. CBOUSSIS 25*
BIG L2D Tv032 24*
BY BY CEH-J 24*
CA23 Oj xijJ i^OGP iOP 5
COLO..BO 22, 23*
COOL 5
DO YOUL BALL3 ULJS LOU 25~"
DO..** L. CU-.j; /.'Jm^SY 51»
EV_ai_ ijV*j..X..U .*». X'~»j DiUn- 2
A'^jjC—lk_x«.G iiXx'Cli 2u'""
JA&C'ISi Al«u 15*
LIDDx BIDDY 14-
^vTJ ^jsLiiiiilS) x .JU3 17-*
i do.;»t .._.,. -io go io -.^-ja 5
IiJDI-U iJJD 30*
I U^jJD .0 .;0m Ixl CJLG&Jj 14-
ISM3 ILaiDia FOR L3 17-
I'VB uOB-A 0.juS 13-
JO^Y SLi^I 29*
Iw'J'OwZJjUi- 25*.
L^i" .;IG^T I GxA'xia) J£* J 20*
LiiSx i\E3TaXlY 23*
i-O.-'D^a I 20UCUJD l^i. 24*
i.RS. iJii-.Pirx*,3 DiUjU.IJR 26*
f.Y BLIfcl BJjJIiOO*. 30*
-Y god-io:; x^ ..0..U1 • 9-
J2SS ■x.JullGRTL.'Sl 15-
20JG PAGE
O'IIEaLPoO/OJuuSSR 27*
KJ DlifA T^ETA 7
POOH UL 24*
:'J2TJIU& 1
-XJC il/Lilt. DOO 19-
HOLL *JI OVJ& 20*
iJOLL./iOOR LEG OVER lo-U-12-
SC0S3I liALLAD 2G-
OM I&OOD EIGHT SSiSiJ 21*
^12*3 .JOES TO BE PITIED 7
2I..G A SOU* 0? 69 16-
TA IsA BOuil D_ AYE Ij-
EL2 BIG BAJ300 15-
.ig CLA.,DLEiu T..1FE lo-
th© faiakiat; machine 27*
TUJ .IPi. TLOii SIBLEY 29*
K3 G«»EiI -JAi'd SQl.G 7
£2 L.JJY Hi iJD 15-
TO..ALY Oi-'iiY ADJ 5
VIOLATE ..2 6
ZILGIii .£2ZLx.-.uiv*i 17-
^JALiCu;* ALG..G CAJAL STIILT. 50*
..7,1 u? n; ?£..; ,ylva«ia 51*
..E GC TO COLLAuE 9-
ui....i?eg .;joiu; 21*
YOU'LL DOIT Dk-ETL-u u
JOJ'T YOU TJ&3 IT 18-
ZQLAILA G
* Very very nacty - iJot sx> n&sty
If they1 ve bleak, you can clioi; tiiou to your nother.
For cddition^l copies, ixifonaation, and contributions,
contact
SQUIB* BOX a, Bi<±etts Ilouce, California Institute of
ledmoloey, facadena, California.
t\ED :<IliG
3!here once was on indian oaid,
Uho always was afraid,
That some buekaroo
Sould fly around the flue
As she lay sleepin* in the shade.
Ghe had an idea grand,
She'd fill it up with sand
To keep the bays
Prom her hidden joys
And Bed Uing's promised land*
Oh, the sun shines down on pretty led Uing,
As she lay sleepin1,
This buck eoiae cretin1
Vith his one good eye h£ was a peepin1
He hoped to reach the prouised land.
How he was an Indian vase,
He reached for Bed */ingfs thighs
Uith an old rubber boot
On the end of & toot
He made poor Redwing oi>m up her eyes. .
But when she cane $o life,
She i,rabbfd her ohiauy knife*
It flashed in the sfcy
As she let it fly,
And shortened his love life.
OH, the uoon shines down on pretty Bed ./ing,
As she lay snoring,
Her knife adoring,
Ho longer do the braves come whoring.
They wonft pay the priee of the promised land.
Oh, girls if you wont to be wives,
Put away those knives.
Boys ii like to play
For a fling in the hay,
They don*t want to pay the res* of there lives.
Ijjtid what uaua said
If your lying in your bed.
If you can11 obey,
Donft reach for a blade,
Have a hell of a time instead.
Oh, tie clouds go floatin1 over Bed Vang,
As she lay snoring,
Her life was boring,
Uhy she*d even welcome Heiuan Goering
Into the pleasure of her promised land.
Coue all you youii^ adldren, and listen to aef
I'll tell you a story, ,ri?will fill vou with wlee.
Theru was a youn~ ^iadon, so statly aad tall,
(H>£D3ho uarried a *Jan 'who had no balls at all.
ito balls at all, no balls at all,
axe carried a *-^n who had no Uills at all •
'•Oh uother, oh mother, oh what shall I do.
I've -carried a -an wno'se unable to scran**'
"Oh daughter, oh daughter, don't feel sb sad,
It's the very saae trouble I had with your dad."
u0h iaother, oh *iother, I wish I weree dead,
Share is no relief for-^y poor uaideahead."
Sit tiie ue:; of liicketts will answc the call
Of the tafe of the uan who had no balls at all.
**nd the uen of Bicketts, on hearinc their na/.e,
They all juuped up, aio?er they caue*
And a bounciac y®v§G Jtoi^ m& born ins the fall,
2o the wife of the pan who had no balls at all.
•JN3BZ iiVliXIG U ;£J& DJMl
Eveiy evening in tiie dark,
I ipoae the statues in the park. /
If ^h^ruaiis horse can take it,
;Jhy can't you?
Passengers will please refrain
From flt^hin^; toilets while the train
Is stchdinw in the station,
I love you.
Station ^-aster's attful fussy,
*?ays it-'cBte the station .lossy.
3o if you uust £0, please
Use a sack,
"Je encourage constipation
Uhile the train is in the station.
Hoses always i^ake ue
fhink of you,
Frostitutes and pretty ladies
Douche to keep from having babies.
How do you like the way
I part mf hair^
lOl. il OiJiY ADY
2L3
The crew they all ride in the doiy
2be captain, he rides in the gig.
It doa*t wo a godaun bit faster,
Bit it oakes the old bastard feel big*
CHOKUS: Sing toraly or&ly ady, oiag toraly oraly aye.
Sing toraly oraly ady, siag toaly oraly aye.
The cexualy life of the cauel
Is greater than anyone thin&s.
In uoments of cuorous passion,
He often makes love to the ^phinz,
*lbw the Sphinx's posterior organs
Are blocked by the sands of the -lie,
Uhicii accounts for the bump on the caael,
And the Sjhin::fs insciutable guile.
Exhaustive essperi^aeatation
]$r ^ai^to#Bix|y and Kail,
HaS proved that the ass of the hedgehog
Can hardly && buggered at all.
Oh why don't the boys down at Harvard
They pull all the quills from the hedgehog,
So its easy to get at the tail.
Here's to ty girls of P.CO.
And here's to the streets that thejr roam.
And here*s to their dirty faced bastards,
SQod bless then, they may be our own.
Sere's to old 0:adental
And here's to the old Scrips Trail.
And here's to those sorority luaidens,
l?ho gave us our first peice of tail.
I DOII'T \IS^ il0 JOE: TH3 ATu*I
I don't want to join the aruy,
I don*t want to go to war.
xlo, I'd rather stick around
Peccadilly on the ground
I&vin9 of the earninfs
Of some hijh bom lady*
I don't want a bullet up me arshole,
I don't want ae bailies shot away,
Ifd rather stay in Sagland,
In jolly jolly Itogland,
And fornicate me fuelling life away.
MI& OF YARN
In the merry month of Juno, when the roses were in bloom,
fhe bird a were singing gayly on the farm;
When I spied a pretty miss and politely asked her this:
"Will you let me spin your little hall of yarn!*
GfflEBQfS"
Ball of yarn, hall of yarn,
Hill you let mo spin your little hall of yc\;?n?
Ball of yarn. Ball of yarn
Will you let me spin your little hall of yarn?
Well then she gave her consent and behind the fence we went;
I promised her that I mould do no harm.
Then I gently laid her down and I ruffled up her gown;
It was then I spun her little ball of yarn*
C horus:
It was nine days after that, in a doctor's chair I sat,
Sever thinking she had done me any harm;
When a little man In white, said; "Your cock's an awful
sight,
You*ve been winding up that little ball of yam.*
Chorus:
It was nine months after that, in a pool room where I sat,
Sever thinking I had dona her any harm.
When a gentleman in blue said, "Young man, we're after you,
You're the father of a little ball of yarn".
Chorus:
So in my prison cell I sit with my bathrobe in the shade,
And the shadow of my nose upon the walls;
And the women asjthey pass, thrust their hatpins up my coat,
And the little mice play hopscotch with my shoes*
C horus:
Young men heed my advice:- never stay out late at night,
And you1 U never lose your virgin or your charm. (
Be like the bluebird and the robin, keep your little^a* from
bobbing,
And j^ou'll never spin that little ball of yarn
Final chorus*
Cats on the Boof Stop.
33ie crocodile is a funny aninal
He rapes Ms uate only once a year
Bat \fa<m he doed lie fioods the l?ile
As he revels in throes of forication
Chorus:
Gate on the foof tops, cats on the tiles,
Cats t/ith tiie dap and cats iriutli the piles,
Cats tiith their buts all wreathed in suiles,
IMle the revel in the tlirocs of forification.
'Jam the Hippos rmap is broad and round
One of ihea neighs a thousand pounds
5h/o of thesa :n.il shake the ground
IJhen tlie revel i.i the throes of fornigation.
Joy the cw^cl has a lot or fun
lEc heights auple uhui ho has done
He alt/ays ^cts tvo huokps for one
\!hm he revels in the throes of fornication.
The claia is a *uodel of ©hastity,
Xou canft tell a he frou a she,
£ut she can tell, and so can he,
llhen they revel in the throes of fornication
The queen bees fly out in tlie breeze?,
And consorts ^Ith who she Sou Daun pleases
And fills the tiorld j&th sons of bees,
As she revels in the throes of fornication,
•?
5he babooris ass is an eerie si^hti
It glous beloi/ like a neon lijtit,
It i/aves like a flag in tlie jungle ni^it,
As he revels in the throes of fornication.
Tae laonkey1 s short aad rather slou,
Erect he stands, a foot or so-—
And wen he cones, itfs tine to go,
As he revels JLi the throes of fornication.
~ive hundred verses, all in rhyues, •
To sing them all seeus such a crime,
'/hen \re could better spend our tiue ,
Beveling in the throes of fioinication.
COOL
Ifn as cool as the tip of an Eskimo's tool,
VL as cool as l. fish in a frozen joxi&f
Cool as a paine of frosty glass
Cool as the fringe round a pol^x bear1 s ass
Cooooli
VIOLATE ME IN VIOIET TIME
Oh, my life's been a sad one,
A maiden did state,
It1 s been filled with one grand repressin.
Though my mind1 s not a bad one
In truth IfH relate-
To be loved is my one obsessin.
With all my ravings
And my maiden cravings,
Why Itm getting physically vexed*
What with mn all about me,
Tfast all do with out me,
And here l'& so highly sexed*
CHORUS:
Wonft youviolate me in n±g3tadte Violet time,
In the vilest way you know#
Brutally^ savagely,
Bulin, nof r^ge me,
pleasw on jit iio #i^y f tawjw*
From till the swjfeC^f things*
I'll be oNSt^^p*
*»hat I nett^BI?!^^
lascivious,
Who will -^UMa^^aw/^tt ^o»^^iiipv
In the vilest way thathe hn&m.
Oh, my sorrows are man,
My joys th^ife ^pom^.
She vvhispered in tones aaat soft and trajic.
I've tri$d#utdsuggestion,
Freud, &Mm me&■ ftijfejf .«,■
There's nothing left me but magic*
Oh, the men .ijytrebpeet me,
That t s why tl^y reject ms
Won't some angel produce me
A aian wh&f 33L seduce me,
**or I need so much x to be had*
You111 Do It Sometime
You'll do it sometime, so why not now*
Please let me be the one to show you how.
Think what you're missing, it's such a shame*
You're missing kissing, and the rest of the game.
Down in New Zealand where men anre men
a chicken nm^r lays untill she's a hen%
^o don't be bashful, 1*11 show you h&w.
You'll do it some time, so why not now?
THE TSRUHI WjffCH SONG
Now ^hirley was a btrly-eutie, dancing In the Hue*
Wfcm she aniled out at the front row, Then I knew that she was
mine.
I asked to take her home, and she was sweet as she could be*
The next day was her birthday, and die wanted jewelry*
CHORUS: So Igave her a gorgeous Green,
fcnd the presision drove Mr mad*
She murmured as we kissed,
"Gee, itfs curved to fit the wriMj
It was the best time peice she ever had*
Now He Hen she was sellin1 down at Wollworth number nine*
She smiled accross the counter* and I knew that she was mine*
The mean old store detective* he was mad as he could be,
For i*iat she sold to other gtys, she gave to me for free.
Now Lucy played Debussy on a clarinet so fine*
*he smiled accross the footlights, and I knew that she was mine*
She played forms one night, and I w?:s co^ainly impressed
Her lips did half the woric, and boy, her fingers did the rest*
Now Mable waited table up at Hollywood and vine*
She smilled at me so pretty, that! thought that she was mine*
She asketl me for a Cadillac, and $ felt liMe a dunce*
Playing second fiddle to a jerk like Madman Muntz*
PHI DEBTA THEFA
Two Irishmen, two Irishmen were sitting in a ditch*
The one called the other a dirty son of a—
CHORUS:
Phi Delta Theta* for shit ?rat~
*or ^hit pratemity#
p Phi elta Tteta*
Phi flelta Theta for meJ!
Soroxity p5n, 5oroirity pin* Oh, how I envy you,
Away upon the mountain top, with all the world in view,
Sjjflging—
Engagement ring, Engagement ring,upo* a 5cro*±ty girls hand,
And every tine she wipes her ass, f see the promised land*
Singing—
SHE*S MOIB TO BE PITIED
She's more to be pitied than censured,
5hefs more to be helped than disposed.
She's only a lassie who ventured
D0wn lifef8mstor^y path ill-advised,
^o not icorn her with words fierce and bitter,
Do not laugh at her shame and tor downfall*
For a moment just stop and consider,
That a man was the cause of it all
ZULAIKA
Zulaika was fair to see, to see,
A young Persian maden was she, was she.
She lived in bagdad
Where all men are bad,
But none were so bad as she.
ahe lived in bagdad
Where alll men are bad,
But none were so bad as she.
filffiilarlyQ
Her husband was very old,
^itfl millions in silver and gold*
He kept her locked in
Away from all sin,
for Persians are very bold.
On her head she wore a turban,
Which came from the looms of Iran.
Where no one co7M see
She conceald a Mall key,
Which she threw out again and again.
The first time she threw out fche key,
It fell by the old banyan tree.
She sighed and she cried
And the doon opaned wide,
And in walked her lover Ali.
The next time she threw the key out,
It fell by the old water spout.
She sighed and she cried
imd the door opened wide,
And in walked her lover Mahout.
She throw the toy once again,
Expecting her lover Suleiman.
She sighed and she cried
And the door opened wide,
And in walked a whole caravan.
The leader he oowed his head low,
And begged he* wisges to know.
"Oh, most of you stay,"
Zulaika did say,
"Bub the children and camels matt go.*:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children, her cunt fell off.
US GO TO COUm&Z
Bfe go to eolla&e, t1 collate &o **e*
Ue never lost oui' virginity,
Je vxzjat have lost it,
Only $bey forced it.
Ue ere from P.C.C.
Ue oOto collage, each Christmas dance,
'Je doaft wesr brafs, and we don't wear pants,
Ue like to ^ive tiie
Freshmen a chance.
Ue are from P.C.C.
Ue go to collage, we have our fun,
Ue know exactly the tray th^t it's done*
Je saw the movies in
In fcygene £Lz. A.l.
Ue are from P.C.C.
Ue &o to colla&e, don11 we have pluck,
Ue never vrork, and we alltrcys fudc*
wome on over boys,
Xou xjay he in luck.
Ue are from P.C.C.
Ue u'O to collate, ire t&n he had.
Don't take our word, hoys, ask dear old dad.
He brings his buddies,
For Graduate studies.
Ue ere from P.C.C.
.:£ GOD, H0U 2L3 iS)J3X iiOLLS BT
lly lather uakes book on the corner,
Ijy aether sells second hand ^in,
i.X sister uakes love £or a quater,
iy God, how the money rolls i;i.
CSI0BH3:
Bolls in, rolls in,
I-JjT &od how the money rolls in, rolls in,
Rolls in, rolls in,
I|y God how the money rolls in*
I^t brothers a poor Ldssionazy,
He saves fallen women from sin,
He111 save you a blonde for five dollars,
% God, hoif the aoney rolls in,
i-X grandma sells cheap prophylactics,
She punctures the heads with a pin,
Cause c^s&dpa 2®*ts rich from abortions,
i,y God, how the money rolls in.
BOLL IOUR LEG OVS.
all
1 \ash/then ladies was little white rabbits,
And I were a hare, I'd teach theia bad habits.
CiOItUSs
Oh roll your leg over, Oh roll your leg over,
Oh roll your lee over the loan in the uoon.
I wish all then ladies was cows in the pasture,
ind I were a bull, I'd uake theia run faster.
I wish all theta ladies ties little white chickens,
And I were a roster, I'd* £iv#fu the dickens.
I wish all thee ladies was little white laabs,
Asiid I were faza, I'd rau all I can.
I wish all thea ladies was little white flowers,
And I mcb a bee, Ifd suck thea for houses,
I wish all them ladies was little sroy vixens,
Jjad I were a foxf I surely would fix1 eia.
I wish ajl thai ladies was noles in the grasses,
And I were a uole, I'd suell the aolasses.
I wish all theia ladies was grapes cm the vine,
And I wore a plucker, Pi have ne a tiue.
I wish all thaa ladies was bells in the tower,
«*ad I were a Se::on, Ifd ban^ on the hour.
I wish all than ladies was bricks in a pile,
And I were a aason, I'd lay them in style.
I wish all the© ladies was rushes a-growin1,
Ifd take out «y scythe, and set out a uowin1.
I wish all then ladies was fish in the ocean,
And I were a shark, I'd raise ue a conotion.
I wish all thai ladies was like B-29§s,
And I was aii^ter, I'd buzs their behinds.
I wish all then ladies was linear spaces,
And I were a vector aiuod at their bases.
I wish all theu ladies was solutions to find,
And I were a frosh, I'd plu& iu cad j$Lnd.
I wish all theia ladies was d^dt,
And then I would integrate tliea i d-nd.
LOLL IGUK L2G 0V1JE (cent,)
I wish all theu ladies was wrecks on the shoals,
Then I'd be a shipwri^it aad plug up tiieir holes*
I wish all thcaa ladies was vessels ox clay,
Then Ifd be a potter, and xaake then all day*
I irish all then ladies was pages in a book,
I'd turn thea all over in some shady nook*
I iiish alltheia ladies was ylG^^if wales,
Then I'd be a barnacle, set on their tails.
I wish all theu ladies was bullets of lead,
Then I'd be a ym, and I'd bang till they're dead*
I wish allthea ladies was brides in a hod,
Then I'd be a aason, and lay thea, by God.
I wish alltheo ladies was little red foxes,
Then Ifd be a hunter, and shoot at their boxes.
I wish alltheu ladies was telephone poles,
Then I'd be a squirrel, and stuff nuts in their holes.
I wish all th&a ladies was statues of venis,
Bien I'd be a Sphinx with a petrified penis.
I irish all them ladies wore dresses with patches,
ind I'd £rab at the patches to £et at their snatches*
I wish alltha.* ladi&s was diamonds and rubies,
Then I'd be a jewler, and polish thiir bobies.
I irish all theo ladies was fish in a pool,
Then I'd be a carp with a waterproof tool.
I wish all theo ladies was sheep, in the clover,
Then I'd be a ram, and I'd rau thea all over.
I wish all theti ladies was j>eices of paper,
Then I'd be a fencer, and I'd use uy steel rajEL raiper
I irish all them ladies was trees in the forrest,
Then I'd be a woodsiaan, and chop their clitoris.
I wish all theo ladies was whales in the ocejan,
ind I were a whale, I'd teach'ea the motion.
I wishall thai iadies was up for iiaproveoent,
Then I'd be the &uy with the ball-bearing uoveaent.
EOLL YOUE L2G OVJL (cont)
I wish all them ladies iras mares in a corral,
Then I'd be a stallion, and I'd make1 em immoral.
I wis all them ladies was wheat in the f eild,
Then Ifd be a scythe, and I'd make'ra all yeild.
I wish all them ladies was a bi£ toy balloon,
Then I'd take out my pin, and uake'em £0 boosu
I wish allthesi ladies w.~s little-white chickens,
Then Ifd be a rooster, and Ifd jLve^ the dickens.
I wish allthea ladies was little white kittens,
Then Ifd be a tomcat> and I'd &ive'em the fittin's
I wish alltheu ladies was bats in a steeple,
Then Ifd be a bat, and tixere'd be more bats than peaple.
I wish all them ladies Has wheels on a car,
Then I*d be a piston, and iaai:e theu go far*
I wish allthoa ladies wits little blind moles,
Then I'd &o kro-JQd and fill all the holes.
1 I wish all them ladies was mares in the stable,
Theh I'd -be a trainer, a*-d mount all I was able.
I wish allthea ladies was bushes of berrys,
Then I'd be a plueker, end take all their cherries*
I wish all them ladies didn't know rules,
Theh I'd have a time using ay jewels*
I wish all them ladies hid in the halls,
Then I'd ^o after'a swinging my balls*
I wish all them ladies liked to hop*
Then I'd han^* aroundand watch their tits flop*
I wich all them ladies'was little round pills,
Then I'd be a doctor, and show*em my skills.
I wish allthem ladies leaves on a tree,
Then I'd be the sap, and you could leave*eu to ue.
I wish all them ladies was sinking this son^;,
It'd be twice as dirty, and ten times as lon£.
IV'E G02 L GAL } '
I'vi got a gal in South Souix Palls.
Honey, Honey.
I've got a gal in South Sou&s ?alls,
BAbe, babe.
I've got a gal in South Souix Palls,
She's got tits like basket balls.
Honey, Oh baby nine.
GUOHUSt
Go to your left, your right your left,
Goto your left, your ri^it, your left.
Similarly: I've got a Gal in Jew Orleans,
All she does is lay marines.
I*ve got a g$l in Yucatan.
Sixteen laches she can stand.
I've got a gall in Tiajuana,
She knows hotr, but she don't wanna.
I've got a 0aX in South Korea,
She's got syph ^a ^norrea.
I've got a gal in Kansas City,
She's wot a iuole on her left titty.
I've got a gal in Iowa City,
Jot too clean, and kind of shity.
I've wot a gal frosa over the hill,
Sk«,. ,m .; qws :.lr»Sfy: .tot t",. a!km jjtoM^jbaci
If she won't da it, her sister will.
I've jot a gal froia P.C.C.
Got the biggest twat Vim ssxsxxever did see.
I've got a gal fro© Boston I<Iass
I-akes her living with her ass.
I've wot a gal froa old 8oe Collage,
Only two-bits, uid you're in her cottage.
I've got a gal all dressed in black,'
3ie uakes her uoney on her back.
I've got a gall dl dressed in white,
l/orks all day, and fucks all night,.
I've got a wal all drosced in c^^-f
£ot the biggest ass yoa've ever seen.
I've got a gall alldressed in red,
Only two bits, anfl she'll lead you to bed.
i u32D L-ouorj; i.; Chicago
C3IOBU3: Oh, i used to work in Chicago,
In a dejartuent store.
I usedto work in Chicago,
I did, but I don't any acre.
A lady caue in and asked for some shoes,
"what land I asked at the door.
"Punps", she said, and punrp her I did,
But I don't work there any .iore.
A lady caue in and asked for soue cake.
"llhat kind," I asked at the door.
"Bayer ", she said, ai:d layer I did.
But I don't work there any aore.
A lady caiae in and asked for soue socles.
"Uhat kind11, I asked at the door.
"Hose", she said, a::d hose her I did.
ButI don't work there any ^iore.
Alady e&ae in and asked for a berth.
"Uiai Mad,11 I asked at the door.
"Oppe&v" she soidr a.4 upper X did,
But 1 don't work there any aore.
A lady came in and asked for some ueat.
mJjat kind," I asked at the door.
Pork," she said, and pork her I did,
But I don't work there auynore.
A lady cane in and asked for co&e cloth.
"How liuch," I asked at the door.
"A yard,,f she said, six inches she cot*
But I don't work there anymore.
KIDDI Dl^m
Hiddy diddy, Christ alui{jhty,
I/ho the hell are we.
Hip slam, God daun,
Rickets Varsity.
'X-. %'.-.. -a vC-x •#$• v*x--x-*X''3Hv -.»-w
In days of old, when Ijiigiits were bold,
And brave ixen weren't particular. -\
They put there wives against the wall,
.And screwed thea perpendicular.
She Li^ BauBbo
IS.
I asked w wmmf vhat should I do
3?o uake her happy and I:epp her true?
Sue said,n Shere is only one thine I tiant from you—-
A little peice of the big baaboo.
Chorus:
^or the big: bamboo it grows jood and long,
53ie big baSboo (pernio aluays strong
Hie bi*; banboo grows up straight and tell
jtotd the bi^ banboo pleases ono and dl«
I (jive jjqt woman a bcnn„.na plant
She jsaid, MEiis safe looks ele&cnt
Its i-iuch too nice to ^o to waste
But its Eaxch to soft suit xsy taste.M
I cave zxy votian a coconut
She said, Mi$r friend this is 0Kf BUT
*Ebou{fr I knmr you vent to be good to me
What /pod is the nut T.dLthout the tree.11
I gave iay ijomaa & suguc cane
^Streets fox* tb%sueet** 1 did e;3plaJuLi
She handed it bacj£ to isy sirjxise,
She liked the flavor, but not the size*
Ever seince God created uan
He has pleased his ma&an as best he can
But I find Mtmm are 3k alvays true
To the uan i/ho uifces thoa the big bamboo.
Ueirfc G^iks^viag (JL Bound)
llext gianlrs^ivingf negi ti^anSfasgiVing,
Save your brad, save you^ broad,
Shove it up the turky, shove it up the turky,
Eat the bird, eat the bird.
lle:rt Cliristuas, next Christmas^
Save your tree, save your tree, *
Shove it up the chimney, shove it up Urn chimney,
Goose 3t, Hick, Goose St. Hick.
ilert Baster, next Easter,
^ave your e^s, save your eggs,
Shove ,em up toe bunny, shove thea up the bunny,
Eat theu hare, eat the hair.
}
Ta-ra-da-uooBMle-ay
Have you had yours today?
I had mine yesterday,
iSiat's why I vclk this i/ay
Eie Lcdy in Ked
Tuts c. cold winters eve^iin^; the folks trere rll le^vin^,
Q*L&.T$r v&b dosiiii* the lx.r#
~.5ien he turned is zM he scid to the lady in red,
"Get out, you ccn't si. y rhere you .. re#lf
So, she shed e s.d tecr in her bucket'of beer,
is she thought of the cold ai^ii rhecd,
IJhea c. ^eatleuEa depuer stepped* out of the ZzszzsL1^--* V
• -» .> - j .. 1 . . *'■
crapper,
And ehese :re uae words "civt ae s^xa:
"Her aother never told her, the fcda^s : youa& girl should
knmr,
About the ::cys of crllc^e .iea, cad how they c^ue .~id ^o,
She hci.s lost her fair hcired fceruty, and sin lies left ±t&
scd secr#
So renaiber your uother sad sisters, boys,
And let her sleep under the be r.
FUCK 'E. JILL
Puck the*-* ell, fuck thee rll,
Aick tue loaw &ad the short and the fell,
Fuck all the blond ones, end rll-the bruasttes,
Say trhea your hafee ^iiG> you fuck trh t you ^et#
3o vere s«/yin& pise oa the i rll,
As b^ck frou the x&iOre house \m erctrl,
It's ccotch cud It's bourbon, fcicts vlkt rere servin',
3o oo to it jals, fuck *m rll.
A ijcu Talked into c. ciiradlers shop, some etches for to
^uy,
And irhen he &ot into he shop nobody he diC spy,
-lien he turned upon lie heels &ad toward the door he sped,
..hen he .^card the sound of v * *"■* rijit above his he^d.
(fJSEi:JP)
Joxr this yoiuf en u.".s a bold youn^ ,un, so up the stairs
he s^ed,
And very surprised iizs he to find the chandlers trife in bed,
And T.dth her u:s a fine youn^ uan ox very considerable size,
Aad he vtjb having c f * * x±Jit before his eyes* (BDPEL5)
Jocj tjhen uhe fun ucs over cM done'the uridea lifted her
head, •
And very sixprized ucb she to find the young an beside* her bed,
ttIf you tall ko^p my secret, sir, if you mil be so kind,
lou uzy drop ia for \. * * * :;hen ever you feci inclined.
(ilEPHAT)
Ifoxr ioarried len take i^y advice t/henever you ^ o to toim
Don't leavg your '.dfe to do c.s slie likes— be sure to tie her
dorm,
lou never cca tell v&:± thoughts xicy be in the beck of her
innocent iaind
lihy ohe i^y be hcvii^ ^ * * *:> vuenever she feels inclined.
(IGPS/S))
H0W ASHAMED I V.3 "rAS
/7
Itoughed heron the toe, how ashamed I was.
I touched her on the toe, She said you1 re rather low#
Oh, gol blimy, how ashamed I was.
When I touched her on the knee, tew ashamed I was.
When I touehed her on the knee, She said you1 re rather free*
Oh, &cl blii^, hew \fc*od % was.
When I touched bar on the thigh, hew ashamed 1 was.
*hen I touched her m the thigh. She said you1 re rather high
Oh, go! blimey, how ashamed I was.
when I touched her on the spot, how ashamed I was.
When I touched her on the spot , She said I'm rather hot.
Oh, gol blimy, how ashamed I was.
When I put It in, how ashamed I was*
When I put it in, She said it's rather thin.
Oh, gol Mirny, how ashamed I was*
When I went away, how ashamed I was.
**hen I went away, &t& -said I dicte't pay.
Oh, gol bliqy, hew ashamed I was.
When the baby cam, how ashamed X was.
When the baby came, the bastard had no name.
Oh, gol blimy, how ashamed X was.
IP'S HARDER FOR ME
It's harder far mg to be a bad girl,
Than for other girls to be good#
I woiild live in a bad world,
God knows I would if I could.
I*m waitij^g for some one to take me
'Round the corner for a hug and a kiss.
But how can I be a bad girl,
With a ttod-damn face like this.
THE VIBSIN STURGEON
Caviar comas from the virgin stuz^eom j
Virgin sturgeon is a very good fish.
The virgin sturgeon needs no urgi&9,
That's iiiy caviar is my dish.
I fed caviar to my girfc frienf,
5hefs my girl frieni tried and true.
Now my girl friend needs no urgin',
I recommedd caviar to you. ,
Sing a Song of Sixty-Nine i o
(to the tune of Clementine) '
Slog a love song, sing a paen,
S ing of pleasures, yours and mine
But in all your happy verses,
Don t forget old sixty-nine
CHOHJS-——It's immoral, it's indecent,
It1 s repulsive-—tout suhlime I
Though they tell mo it's perversion,
Still I.like to sixty-nine.
Hint it subtly, donft appall her,
She might feel it's less than fine;
Making love, hut ouite inversely,
She might not take to sixty-nine.
Sneak up on her, do not startle;
^et your kisses flow like wine.
But descend, ah gently, gently
As you sink to sixty-nine.
Let her fondle, let her feel it,
Tirile tokens, one third nine;
With your equipment then confront her,
She may rise t& sixty-nine.
Kinsoy tells us eggheads do it
More than peasants(those aren't fine)
Tell her it*s^ik'^^ga^^ pleasure;
She111 he hot for slxty^ine*
Once she learns how, once she tries it,
She may never stay supine i
(Tis a danger—One must face it)
She'll only want to sixty-nine.
Thus I tell you, see ye to it,
Lest your love get out of line.
Spice your wooing, hut don't rue it
Hation her on sixty-nine.
WHI'T YOU TAKE IN YOUR MOUTH, MRS. MUHPHY?
Won't you take it your mouth, Mrs. MurpbyT
For it weighs hut a quarter of a ponnd. .
It has hair on its neck like a turkey; $
And it souirts when you jerk it up and down.
So she took it in her mouth and she sucked it,
But on it Oolman's Mustard there was none.
And when she found that it had not heen seasoned,
She spat it out and wished she had never begun.
HIirG DL.& DOO
I. Vhat is that ihinw riwht over tnere,
So soft and suooth and covered with hair,
So round aud fim cad split.in two?
(The first verse wjy be used
IJhy, that there Ihin^ is the Bing Dane Doo» as a chorus if
it is felt that
II• ,** -r j -■ ^
o^o is needed)
Uhea I was young and m wy teens
I knew a &irl in Hew Orleans
Oh, she iras young and pretty too;
iuid said she had a Bing Dang Boo*
III.
This girl I knew, she had a feller
1
Slie took him down iato the celler
She fed hiia trine end uiisfcy too,
jy And she let bin ride on her Mag Dane Boo.
Her father cried f;^ out the bed,
,f0h, Dauwhter dear, have you lost your head. *
Go pack your bag, and tote:: too,
And iaake your living on your Bine: Deng Doo*w
So she went to town to becoiae a \more
Sae tacked the si jn upon her ^oor,
'•Two dollars down, two bits will'' do,
trr Jnd you can ride on up ring Dcn£ Doo.,f
And they ccme by twos, a*id they caue by fours
Sji& when they cue, they caue by scores
And they brought their money f a**d their rubbers too
And she let theu ride on her ring Dang Doo.
VII*
Veil the axMy ca&e, cud tlie navy went
The price w&at up to 500
Bit still they e^iae to get their scret/.
Oh, how they i-^d on the Bing Deng Doo,
mi.
How from out the hills there cciae a son~of-a-bitch
He had the clap* aad the seven year itch
He had the syph and the blue balls too,
*(clap hands)
And she let hiu ride on the Ring Dang Doo«
v/ell our gal died in about a we*!* or two
And the fellers uouxuAd cause tliey Hissed their screw
Thgy fucked each other and t~e|:r aethers too
Oh, they wanted to ride her Bing Dang Doo ♦
;
X.
They tacked ther tits to the courthouse wall
Th^y pickled her pussy in :ilcoh&l
They buried it fneath the avenue,
Mai now the buses ride on her Bing Dang Doo*
LAST NIGHT I STAY3D HOME AND MAS TURBAT3D
XO
Last night I stayed home and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would,
Last night I stayed hone and masturbated,
It felt so nice, Idid it twice•
You should havo seen me on the long strokes,
It felt so neat, I used my feet.
Tou should hare seen me on the short strokes,
It felt so grand, I used my hand.
Smash it, hash it, slam it on the floor,
-:
Vrap it around the bedpost,
Cram it against the door.
Nov there are some who say that sexual intercourse is great.
But for maximum satisfaction, t prefer to masturbate.
ROLL M3 OVER
___ Oh, This ib number one and the fun has Just begun,
CHOBQB*— Boll me over, lay me down, and do it again,
loJJL me clrer in the iyi3jji*eT9'r
Boll me over, lay me down and do it again.
Oh, this is number two and his hand is on my shoe.
Oh, this is number three and his hand is on my knee.
Oh, this is number four and he's got me on the floor*
Oh, this is nuaiber five and hefs got me do in* the jive*
Oh, this is number six and he's got me doing tricks.
Oh this is number sesren and itfs feeling just like heaven.
Oh, this is number eight and the doctor's awful late.
Oh, this is number nine and the twins are do in1 fine.
Oh, this is number ten and let's do it all again.
Oh, this is numberfleven and it's just like number seven.
Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Bover drove her,
For the dbg had a bone of his own*
SHE STOOD SIGHT iEEfiB
She stood rij&t there in the uidai^t air,
Vith nothinw on but liar ni&aiy.
Her tits hung loose like the balls of a goose,
Jesus Christ almighty.
She juoped in bed, and covered up her head,
And said I couldn't find her*
But I knew daian veil she lied like hell,
And jumped xi^xt in behind her. "~"
Oh, she spread her legs, her lily white legs,
And then I stuck in uy grinder.
She white of an egg ran down her leg,
And sharks flew out behind her,
Tito weeks vent by, I heaved a sigh,
A si^ of pain aid sorrow.
She pimples thick upon ay dick,
But there121 be ©ore towiorrow.
ITine uoaths went by, she heaved a sigh,
A sigh of pain and sorrow.
For tuo little Muts i?ere in her guts,
But they111 be out tomorrow.
Five uiles up the Saginaw River
Uay above the Canadian sliore,
Lives a triLdow, l-i<W« ilnnigsa,
Better known as the I/innipe^, whore.
lira* Tlgnigsa, wher£*s your daughter,
tfeve come to have some fun.
Shefs upstairs, a passin1 water;
She* 11 be c&o\jn when she gets done.
Some were drunk, and some were sober,
Some were lying on the floor.
I was in the darkest comer,
Throwing the blockes to the VdLmipeg whore.
She was fiddling, I was diddling,
Mdnft know what ftwas all about, ;
E.11 she stole my watch and wallet,
Jjad I let out a helluva shout.
Up juuped whores and s4ms~a~bithhes,
iiust have been a score or more.
Ioufd have laujited to cream your brithes,
to see ay ass fly out the door*
COIOMBO (or THS GOOD SHIP VENUS)
In fourteen hundred ninety twot
A gob from old ttali,
Mas wandring through the streets of Spain
And pissin in the alley.
"' Be swung his "balla aroundot
They nearly touched the ground©;
That masturbating, fornicating,
Son of a bitch, ^Colombo
In fourteen hundred ninety two,
The expedition started;
Sueen Isabel, she cried like hell,
olombe only farted.
Aboard the good ship Venus,
By Christ, you should have seen us;
The figurehead, a whore in "bed,
The mast, a throbbing penis.
C olombo had a cabin boy,
By God, he was a nipper;
They stuffed his ass with broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
Colombo had a first mate,
He loved him like a brother;
And every night in the pale moonlight,
They coraholed one another.
The second mate's name was Andy,
By Christ, he was a dandy;
They crushed his cock between two rocks
for shooting i£ the brandy.
The captain's name was Morgan,
% god, he was a gorgon;
Six times a day, he'd pound away
Upon his sexual organ.
The first cook's name was Carter,
A very musical farter;
He could fart anything from "God Save The King",
To Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonater*.
Colombo came upon the deck,
His prick was like a mastpole,
He grabbed the first mate by the neck,
And fucked him in the asshoJre.
'♦COLOMBO cont.
The skippsr's daughter Mafcle,
They fucked when they were they able;
They Bailed hear tits, those homely shits,
Right to the kitchen table*
She skipper's other daughter,
They threw into the water;
Delighted squeals revealed the eels
Had found her sexual quarter.
Iter forty days and forty nights, >h.;r*
They sailed the broad Atlantic;
C olomho and his lousy crew
Tor want of a piece were frantic*
They spied a whore upon the shore.
Off came shirts and collars,
In twenty minutes by the clock,
She'd mads ten thousand dollars*
With joyful shout, they tm about
tod practiced fornication;
tgfafcn they sailed, they left behind
Ten times the population*
LAST SA2UHQAT NIGHT
Vow won't you do it to me like you did to Marie?
Last Saturday night, Saturday night.
First you caressed her and then you undressed her.
Last Saturday night. Saturday night.
Cherries are ripe and ready fbr plucking,
A girl sixteen is ready for high scho&l.
Oh, won't you 4b it to me like you did to Marie?
Late last Saturday night*
Vow won't you do it to me like you did to Marie?
Last S aturday night, Saturday*
I know it's real Hcause I heard her saueal,
Last Saturday night, Saturday night*
It's really easy, there's nothing to it, ;
A dollar down and the rest when you do it.
Oh, do it to me like you did to Marie,
Late last Saturday night.
Big Bod Rose
IHion you ifore your lamona, I
played vith your boobies,
Your bright red Icimona, Your
lilly-iMte boobies,
iad I liore qy B.V.D's., /aid
doim shere the short hair yxn/s*
First I carressed you, Ijs
our kisses grew sweeter,
And then I undressed you, I
whipped out up peter,
Oh, what a body you ai owed to he. And white
washed your biw red rose*
«onday I touclied Ixer on the aakle, ?riday
I Iiad ue hand upon it,
3?uesday I toughed her on the laiee,
Saterday she wave ue bells a squeeze,
ind it was -feuaesday after five But
it was Sunday after dinner,
2hat I touched her on the thi^i, % I
shoved the old boy in'er,
Thursday I lifted her cheoise. Gore bliEQf. AaiSd now I'd
ixydng se^ren and six aweek.
POOR LII
Thex-o once lived a girl of outstanding bueaty,
:Jho lived ia a house of ill repute*
Ifae Lien cam fspa oijes away,
So see poor Mi in a negligee*
But S^y by day her Zozu <i,reir thinner,
Due to th# lack of the vita dn in her.
She took to eating ELeischoan's yeast,
But still her cHeaitele decreased.
One day as she lay in her dishonor,
She felt the hand of ihe lord upon her.
She said, "Bear Lord. I do repent,
But this is c;oing to cost you fifty cents11.
BX& BXE fcSEBJT
Back your ass aga±oe%c the wall,
Here I cone, balls and all.
Sjye, bye, cherry.
:7rap your legs around ne alittle titter,
ixlce ioy load coue out a little lighter.
I5ye, bye, cherry*
Shake your assaud wiggle your teats,
Here I come, you son-of-a-teitch.
E&re, bye, eherzy.
Huapty Dunpty act on the wall,
Baapty Dmapty load c great fall,
ill the kings horses and all the Icings uea,
ZAS 3IHTJ
ALA BOOGY <% 5,
Moms in bed, Pops on top,
Kids in the cradle yel.lin, "Shove it to her, Pop;*1
Ala Booby-~That*s all I crave.
Mom's in bedf Pop's in jail,
Sis's in the corner yellin, "Pussy for sale."
Ala Boogy—-that's all I crave.
Mom's in the kitchen, Fbp's locked up,
My hunchback brother has my sister knocked up.
Ala Boogy—that's all I crave.
Got a inodeel T pord, tank's full of gas,
Mouth's full of titty, and hand's full of ass.
Ala Boogy—that's all I crave.
Haven't got a katj^kle, haven't got a dime,
House fukl of kids, and non of 'em mine.
Ala Boogy—that's all * crave.
lay down south in the sycamore timber,
If you can't get it hard, irtick it in Hiabe r.
Ala Boogy—that's all 1 crave.
I've done sung this song till I sweat,
Aint anybody bought no Ala Boogy yet*
Ala Boogy—that's all I crave.
DO TOUR E.LLS HAMS LOW
TiddJ^winks young man,
Get a girl i* you can.
But if you cnn't gefc a girl,
Get a clean old man.
From the lofty heightd of Malta,
To the shores of old Gibralter,
Can you do the double shuffle,
With your balls in a can.
Do your balls hang low,
Do they swing to and fro,
Can you tie them in a knot, :
Can you tie them in a bow.
Can you throw them over jiour sholder
Idke a drunken English soldier,
Can you do the double shuffle,
If you balls hang low.
*6.
KAK)OZSLUM
In olden days there was a maid, who used to ply a thrifty
trade,
A prostitute of ill repute, the Harlot of Jerusalem
CBOHJS— H^ H6f Kafoozelum, the Harlot of Jerusalem,
She prostitute of ill repute, the daughter of the Babbi.
She was a wily witch, a god damn, whory son of a bitch,
And every dong it got the itch, that dangled in Kafoozelum,
Nearby there lived a booger tall, who with his prick could
break a wall,
And he had fucked in nearly all the harams of Jerusalem.
One day returning from a spree (a high and mighty jubilee)
Kafoozelum he chanced to see,.passing through Jerusalem*
He took her to a shady rock and there uncoiled his precious
cock,
forty feet of precious cock, into the bowels of Kafoozelum.
The son of a bitch was under slung, he missed her hole and
hit her bung,
And drove his dong into her dung, down by Jerusalem.
How Kafoozelum, she knew her part, die cocked her ass and let
a fart,
And blew that bastard like a dart, high over Jerusalem.
And there he lay a bfoken mass, hie~eook all filled with shit
and gas,
And Kafoozelum, she wiped her ass all over the walls of
Jerusalem*
BULL BOTTOM TBDUSSRS
Once I was a lady1 s maid way down in Drury Lane,
My master was so kind to me, my mistress was the same;
Along came a sailor as happy as can be,
And he was the cause of all my misery.
CHOHJS" ■» Singing ••Bell bottomed trousers, coats of navy
blue,
Let fim climb the riggin1 like his daddy used to do."
He asked me for a kerchief to tie around his head,
He asked me for a candle to light his way to bed;
And I like a silly fool, thinking it no harm
Jumped right in beside him to keep the sailor warm*
SarlX in the morning, before the break of day,
A one-pound note he gave me, and this to me did say;
"Maybe you'll have a daughter, maybe you111 hare a son;
fake this; oh, my darling, for the damage I have done*
"And if you have a daughter, bounce her on your knee;
But if you have a son, send the bastard off to sea."
The moral of this stery is plain as plain can be;
Never trust a sailor an inch above your knee*
The Fucking iiachine
A sailor once told oe be£ore he deid, ^ y
And l(ll never laxow if lue bastard Hied,
That he liad a uife with a cunt so wide,
2hat the poor girl couldn't be satisfied.
Be satisfied, be satisfied,
ri!hat the i>oor girl couldn't be satisfied*
He fasioned a erect _>riek out of steel,
ind fastened it to a fucking big wheel*
Two balls of brass were filled, idtii creao,
And the whole fucking issue was run by stesa.
Bun by stem, run by stesa,
ind the whole fucking issue was run by steaa.
So 'round and 'round went the fucking big wheel,
And in and out went the great prick of steelf
•Sill at last the ..miden cridd,
"Oil, tarry a while, I'L satisfied".
I'li satisfied, I'o satisfied,
Oh/ tarry a while, I'm satisfied".
But 1^;sckUU^.1ibiDc; concerning it,
!/as there was no stopping it,
And it ripped that laaid froia tuat to tit,
.And the wliole fucking issue went up in shit.
Up Jkn shit, «p in shit,
And the whole fucking issue went up in libit.
G'ES&X'S BJUGIEEEB
As I was sitting in Belly's store,
listening to the tales of blood aid slaughte*,
Eiere caae a ttou^t injro uy laind,
Uiy not shag O'Reily's daughter?
Oborus: PiCdlee aye cy, fiddjee aye oh,
•'iddlee aye ay, for th# one 1x11 Roily.
Eigga dig dig, shag balls and all,
RLgga dig dig, siiag on.
I grabbed that aaiden by the hair,
fjflien I through Ey left leg over,
Shagged and shagged aiid shag'ged soiae aore,
Shagged untill the fun was over.
Shere caue a knocking at time door,
;j3frjrdwho should it be but her Godua*m father,
Two horse ^istals in his hands, i
A lookin' for the guy who shagget, Ms daughter,
I grabbed thatebastard by his balls,
Shoved his hea d in a pail of water,
Shoved those six-guns up his ass,
Daoned site further1 n I shagged his daughter.
ilow when I go walking down the street,
xnire g§es the^ar%re^n^P-a--Mtcxi,
2he oen that shagged ^'Reily's daughter.
SCOTCH BALLAD
T»was a gathering of the clansmen,
And all the lads were there.
A felling up the lassies,
Beneath the pubic hair.
C10RUS:
Singig a«h0w do you love me, how do you do.
The man that had you last night, he can have you nomore.
The bride was in the parlor
Explaining to the groom,
The vagna not the rectum
Is the entrance to the wood).
The parson* s wife was also there,
jMsittin' down in front
With a ling of posies in her hair,
and a carrot up her cunt.
McPherson' s band was also there,
* 'gtaUi*' mto the clicks.
Bub you couldn11 hear the music
For the swishing of the pricks.
And now the partes over,
* They»ve all. gone tome to rest.
They said they liked the music,
But they liked the fucking best*
m* wmwm Mwmm
Mrs. Murphy, where's your daughter,
% g came over to have some ftau
She* s upstairs makin1 water,
She111 be down when she is done.
I love to see Mary make wqter ,
&fm can see such a be^iful stream*
She c n pee for a mile and a qwrAw,
You con#t see ter ass f^ the steacu
Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch,
*
P d timer be poor, I1 d «Q*e* always be rich*
I'd live in a house with a little red light,
*nd sleep all day and work all night*
And every once and a while I'd take a little rest
Just to drive my customers wild.
Oh, I wish X were a fascinating bitch,
Instead of a logitomate child*
jouar tinker 29
Oh, there was a joUy tinker, and he came from southern
France.
And he knew how to sing, and he knew how to dance.
CHOHBS:
With his long J&£ john didly wacker, over grown kidney
wacker,
looking for a scrimmage below the belly band*
One night the <«teen came home from a shindig ball,
iind she saw the jolly tinker leaning up against the wall.
Said the tinker to ths Wueen, have you any little crack,
Have you any little crack that :. tinker might attack*
Said the Queen to the tinker, "Yes I have a little crack,
Yes £ have a little crack that a tinker might attack.
Oh, he fucked her on the sofa and he fucked her on a chair,
If he had ahrit a pair of wings, he'd have fucked her in the
air*
He fucked her in the parlor, and he fuckad her in the hall*
flMy God," cried the cheater maid, "He's gonna fuck us all."
"Vy God," crtfd the Qowiv "I thought that I was able,
But he split my vagina from my asshole to my navel*
Oh, the tinker tie died, and he went to hell ,
But he fucked all the devils and he flicked them very well*
THE GIRIS FROM SH»EY
We are from Sidney, fiftpm Sidney are we*
We never lose our virginity0 (Oh, Billshit)
We use the vexy best candles you see,
We are from Sidney we0 (Balls, Balls)
And every week at the Saterday dance,
We cever wear any pants* (oh, Billshit)
We like to give the f lyboys a chance,
We are f*on» Sidney we. (Balls, Balls)
And evexy night at just Twelve o* clock,
Wa T*gtch the natch man piss off the dock. (Oh, Bfallshit$
We like the way he handles his cock,
We are froae 5i*iey we. (Balls, Balls)
r
skirt on
°onfusios say,» No such thing as rape. Girl with
can run faster than man with pants downi*
zz&hb oijce jij* in; naxuJi .jjv
30,
There ouce uas an Indian maid,
ij4k> said siio trasn't afraid
To lie on her beck in a little ^rasc shack,
l/hile a bi^; red cock ran up her crack.
And uucli to her sirprise,
Her belly beean to raise,
Jm& out or her cunt caiae a little black runt,
Uith his ass between his eyes.
* iad it i/as !
UT BLU2 E2DBD0II
(Sua^- to the tune of I^y Blue Heaven)
\Taeh evening is nijb^
Aid passion runs hi^fr,
1*11 lead you to iqy blue bedroom.
Take a tern to the ri^ht,*
Biwe^ a little red licfrfc,
It'll lead you to mr blue bedroom.
there's a nmUing face
on the gHLlmr case,;* * * .; *v» a * *ic^f
IEth a fem devine,
It's the scxie old line,
She's been had before,
But tonight slxe's nine.
Just i*olly end m,
Ehcre'll never be three, •.
Cause were ccrefta in *jy blue/* ?ea:?S0Bl#
"..'iUXl1 ALOHG C 1IAL 3530235?
tfollrtn* alon^ canal street, knockin1 at every door,
God daun, son-of-a-bitch, I couldn't find a whore.
i
1 found a whore, 1 found a t/hore, . nd she uas tall and
thinf
God daun, son-^f~a~bitch, I couldn(t eejfr it in.
I ip% it in, I cot it in, and Tripled it all. about,
God daun, son-of-<i-bitch, I couldn't get it out*
I (jQ$ it out, I {jot it out, and it uas red and s6re,
Che uoral of the story is, never fuck a whore*
aniu by the wbox*e house quartet,
Has —mmm— got a hard on, not yet,
But is ho coi**1 to ^et one, you bet.
She lucky stiff.
WAY UP IN PENSYLVANIA
Way up in Pennsylvania
On cold and stormy night,
I walked up to a whore house
Where lights were shinning bright.
I walked across the porch,
%d knocked upon the door.
The knock was quickly answered
By a neatly iialf-dresaed whore.
She irore a dark kimono
That opened dotm the front,
-And I could see the golden hairs
That hid her filthy cunt.
i
She asked me t/hat 1 wanted,
Eer figure showed her class •
I told her all I wauted
Tfcs a two-bit piece of ass.
She lead me ia the p-iaer rocp,
She whores were all arouapd.
I swear it was the darnedest place ±kadfc:i
That I had ferer found.
I took*1m# ,^-i^--i41y white hand,
And lei^Jb^^
I took oidr pete 3ida&t**3&i iiy liadd,
Mid raided it thixmgh those hairs.
The stuff it j«xs a-^o^JUigf
Hie f eeli^ it was (0*$&t
:!hm t woke up in ^ zmy cot
;.lth a discharge ia my hand.
Domn in cunt valley, where red rivers flow,
'./here cocksuckers flourish, and uaideaheads grow,
fTwas there I met Lulu, the girl I adore,
axe's a hard fucking, coeksuking Lezican whore.
She's dirty, she's filthy, she'll fuck in the street.
I/henever you meet her, she's always in heat.
She'll fuck for a quarter, take^less, takd uore,
She's a hardfucking, cocksueking IlexLcan whore.