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sunday I walked out with a soldier, monday I walked out with a tar;
 tuesday I'm out with a baby boy scout, on wednesday, a hussar.
 on thursday I went out wi' a scottie, on friday a captain of the guards;
 on saturday I'm willing, if you' ll only take the shilling, to make a man of any one of you!
the army and the navy need attention, the outlook isn't healthy I'll admit;
 i've got a perfect dream, of a new recruiting scheme, which I think is absolutely 'it'!
if only other girls would do as I do, I believe that we could manage it alone;
 for i've turned all suitors from me,
but the sailor and the tommy-- so i've an army and a navy of my own---
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i don't wantto join the army, I don't want to go to war;
 I'd rather hang around, picadilly underground, living off the earnings of a high class lady don't want a bayonet up the asshole, don't want my bollocks shot away-- I'd rather stay in england, merry, merry england, and fornicate me fucking life away!
sunday I touched her on the ankle, monday I touched her on the knee;
 tuesday i, touched her on the thigh, wed?
 she didn't say a word --cor blimme! friday her voice it was a shriek--then saturdy after dinner, I stuck the bugger in 'er, and now I'm payin' 7 and six a week!
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i first heard the soldiers parody if the female recruiter at the albury folk festival in 1977 sung in its entirety by a young nurse.
 I recorded this version from dave alexander --everyone knew the chorus, but not the verse! the chorus, at least, is still sung in the army! the original was used in the play 'oh what a lovely war!'

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