Nursery Rhyme Update Mary had a little Lamb Mary had a little skirt, with splits right up the side And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs Mary had another skirt, split right up the front … But she didn’t wear that very often! Mary had a little lamb; it ran into a pylon; Ten thousand volts ran up its ass, and turned its wool to nylon. Little Miss Muffet Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn, It wasn’t the spider that sat down beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn. Simple Simon Simple Simon met a pie man on his way to the fair. Said S.S. to the pie man ‘What have you got there?’ Said the pie man to S.S. ‘Pies you dickhead!’ Humpty Dumpty Humpty dumpty sat on the wall, H.D. had a great fall All the King’s horse and all the King’s men said ‘Fuck it it’s only and egg.’ Georgey Porgy Georgey Porgy pudding and pie kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to ply, he kissed them too ‘cause he was gay. Jack and Jill Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky-panky Silly Jill forgot her pill, and now there’s little Frankie. 6721.226 Thurs, 13 Aug 2004 These song/poems were received from regular respondent Paul Pulis, 1 Bn RAR vet from Kurramine Beach, Qld. I have identified, to date, three different ‘Star of the Evening’ versions, which I identify as ‘Army Star’, which I think is the original, or parody of contemporary song and has it’s own tune, ‘Navy Star’, which uses the folk song melody ‘Foggy Foggy Dew’ for the verses, and ‘Army Star’ chorus; both these versions date from WWI. The third ‘Star’ I code with the title ‘Roweth Star’, as it was obtained from the singing of Jason and Chloe Roweth. ‘Us Not Them. This variant dates from WWI, uses the Army Star chorus, but for the verses uses lyrics from 3 different US Army service songs, and dates from WWII as illustrated by the US Army verses used. Only the Army and Navy Star variants are still sung in Anglo-Celtic services; the song has a great chorus, and as the above lyrics illustrate, ‘filler’ verses are common. I received these as an email; lyrics indicate the use of the ‘Navy Star’ melody rather than the ‘Army’ version. Lyrics indicate Navy variant by the following mechanisms and indicators: scansion/melody, use of bawdy verses rather than the incongruence of adults singing children’s verses as in Army Star. The song ‘Foggy Foggy Dew is a slow air, telling of love, loss, and family; Navy Star boasts of lust, cynicism and indifference that is incongruent not just to the tune used, but to the values and Code of Conduct within Anglo-Celtic military services; the apposite to military life, thus making adherence to the code a lighter burden. Samurai stated this adherence to a Code of Conduct as ‘Duty is heavier than a mountain; death lighter than a feather’; native Americans as ‘It’s a good day to die’; Anglo-Celtic services in the song lyrics ‘Death is a constant friend.’ … but ‘What the f**k, they’re just grunts’, ‘4 bob a day killers’, and as Australian Labour Party and American Democratic Party leaders constantly restate, and ‘all guilty of war crimes.