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BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy
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Subject: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Nigel Parsons Date: 28 Feb 14 - 05:57 AM One of these cropped up recently, and I was reminded that, in my schooldays, there was a fad for 'Mummy, Mummy' jokes. As they were from my schooldays that makes them at least half-way to being antiques! Does anyone else remember them? Did they cross the coutry? Did they cross the Big Pond? Examples: "Mummy, Mummy, can I lick the pan?" "No, pull the flush like anyone else" "Mummy, Mummy, can I go out and play with grandad?" "No, you've dug him up twice this week already" "Mummy, Mummy, why do I keep going around in circles?" "Shut up, or I'll nail the other foot to the floor" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Dave the Gnome Date: 28 Feb 14 - 06:41 AM They were certainly around in the 60's in Manchester. I remember those three but cannot recall more. I'll put my thinking cap on and ask the font of all knowledge for things historic (Mrs Gnome) this evening. Sick as they are, they still make me smile :-) Cheers DtG |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: gnu Date: 28 Feb 14 - 06:47 AM Me too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: GUEST,Peter Laban Date: 28 Feb 14 - 06:52 AM I rememebr ones like 'Mummy mummy I don't want to go to France!' 'Keep swimming Johnny' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: GUEST Date: 28 Feb 14 - 07:02 AM 'Mummy, mummy, the kids are calling me a three-headed monster. 'There, there, there!' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: DMcG Date: 28 Feb 14 - 07:32 AM They were around on Teesside in the later 50s. Mummy, Mummy, I don't like my sister - Shut up and eat what you're given. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Steve Shaw Date: 28 Feb 14 - 09:48 AM "Mummy, mummy, when I grow up I want to be a politician!" "Don't be silly, dear, you know you can't do both!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Doug Chadwick Date: 28 Feb 14 - 10:18 AM Mummy, Mummy, why are we pushing the car over a cliff ? Shut up, you'll wake Grandad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: GUEST Date: 28 Feb 14 - 11:06 AM Mummy, mummy, Granny's going out. Quick, throw on more petrol. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 28 Feb 14 - 11:07 AM Mummy, mummy, what's for dinner? Shut up and get back in the oven! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Jack the Sailor Date: 28 Feb 14 - 11:14 AM They are kind of funny. I like Steve's. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: frogprince Date: 28 Feb 14 - 11:22 AM I knew all of them except "can I lick the pan" in Minnesota by about 1952. Our exact version of the "sister" one was, "Mommy, Mommy, I hate my sister's guts"... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Ebbie Date: 28 Feb 14 - 12:29 PM Mummy. Mummy. Why can't I go out and play like the other kids? Shut up and deal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Pete Jennings Date: 28 Feb 14 - 12:38 PM LOL. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: frogprince Date: 28 Feb 14 - 12:57 PM By way of something just the same, only different ; ) "Mrs. Jones, can Billy come out to play baseball ?" "But boys, you know Billy has no arms or legs". "That's okay; we want to use him for home plate". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: GUEST Date: 28 Feb 14 - 01:19 PM Mummy, mummy, can I have a spoon? Why? The dog's been sick and grandma's getting the biggest bits. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Stilly River Sage Date: 28 Feb 14 - 01:30 PM These remind me of some of the "Little Willie" poems. A form of dark humor that makes its way through childhood. Little Willie, feeling swell, Pushed his sister in the well. Said Willie's mother, drawing water, "It's mighty tough to raise a daughter." SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: MGM·Lion Date: 28 Feb 14 - 02:54 PM Mummy, Mummy, what's a werewolf? Shut up and comb your face. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: JennieG Date: 28 Feb 14 - 03:48 PM Mummy, mummy, what's a vampire? Shut up and eat your soup before it coagulates. They certainly made it to a country town in Oz in the early 60s. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Bill D Date: 28 Feb 14 - 05:50 PM I think "Little Willies" were earlier and perhaps the inspiration.... but we did get the "mummy" ones also. Little Willie with a taste for gore, Nailed his sister to the door. Mother said, with humor quaint, "Willie dear..you'll spoil the paint" Little Willie in the best of sashes Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes. By & by the room grew chilly, But no one liked to poke up Willie. Willie found some dynamite. Couldn't understand it quite. Curiosity never pays.... It rained Willie seven days. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: JennieG Date: 28 Feb 14 - 07:05 PM Bill, the version I learnt is slightly different - Willie, in one of his bright new sashes, Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes. Now, although the room grows chilly, I haven't the heart to poke poor Willie! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: MGM·Lion Date: 01 Mar 14 - 12:24 AM The Willie rhymes derive from Harry Graham's 'Ruthless Rhymes', 1898, who/which can be googled. Above post quoted verbatim from one of the best known, except that IIRC he wore 'nice' new sashes, rather than 'bright', and the last line begins 'We' rather than 'I'. A lot of them are in such collections as The Penguin Book Of Comic & Curious Verse. ~M~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Bert Date: 01 Mar 14 - 01:30 AM ~M~ The Penguin Book Of Comic & Curious Verse. I remember having a copy of that years ago. Lots of good stuff in it. I particularly liked Roman Wall Blues. "Over the heather the wet wind blows, I've lice in my tunic and a cold in my nose..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Georgiansilver Date: 01 Mar 14 - 03:43 PM Mummy Mummy why is Daddy so still?..... Shut up and keep digging!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Steve Shaw Date: 01 Mar 14 - 03:51 PM My buttocks are beginning to clench. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Nigel Parsons Date: 01 Mar 14 - 04:16 PM Mummy, Mummy, what's a lesbian? Ask your daddy, she'll know! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: Steve Shaw Date: 01 Mar 14 - 07:26 PM I think I might be a lesbian, going from my predilections... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mummy, Mummy From: MGM·Lion Date: 02 Mar 14 - 03:45 AM "Mummy, Mummy, is it much further to Australia?" "Just keep digging." ~M~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Joe Offer Date: 02 Mar 14 - 08:53 PM I wish there were a "like" button for several of these... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: frogprince Date: 02 Mar 14 - 10:58 PM I forgot this one until just a moment ago: "Mummy, Mummy, why is Daddy running so fast?" "Shut up and reload." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Joe_F Date: 03 Mar 14 - 04:07 PM Little Willy from the mirror Licked the mercury right off, Thinking, in his childish error, It would cure the whooping cough. At the funeral, his mother Smartly said to Mrs Brown, "'Twas a chilly day for Willy When the mercury went down!" "Daddy, what's a sex pervert?" "Shut up and eat." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Rapparee Date: 03 Mar 14 - 10:29 PM Down in to the well Which the plumber built her Aunt Eliza fell. We must buy a filter. Mommy, mommy, big brother took me swimming! Aren't you a little young? It wasn't hard after I got out of the sack. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: MGM·Lion Date: 03 Mar 14 - 11:50 PM I don't think this thread, dedicated to a particular genre of joke, should be filled with Harry Graham's 'Ruthless Rhymes' of 1898, unattributed. Distresses all my pedantic and taxonomic instincts! ~M~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Don Firth Date: 03 Mar 14 - 11:51 PM "Mummy, Mummy," said the bear cub romping up to his mother, "What kind of bear am I?" "Why, you're a polar bear, honey," answered his mother. And he went romping off. A few minutes later, he came back and asked, "Mummy, what kind of bear did you say I am?" "I said you're a polar bear, sweetie." And off he went again. A few minutes later, he came back and said, "Mummy, did you say that I'm a polar bear?" "Yes, honey," she answered. "Why do you keep asking?" "B-b-b-because I'm b-b-b-bloody f-f-freezing!!" Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Musket Date: 04 Mar 14 - 06:35 AM So... What part of Lesbia do you come from? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Rapparee Date: 04 Mar 14 - 08:50 AM Mommy, mommy, why is it so dark? Shut up and go get your white cane. Mommy, mommy, why is daddy all red and sticky? Shut up and put another piece in the wood chipper. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Rapparee Date: 04 Mar 14 - 08:52 AM Mrs Jones, can Timmy come out and play? Now boys, you know he died last week. Can we come in and watch him rot? (Alternately: Can I have his bicycle?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Joe_F Date: 04 Mar 14 - 09:30 PM Mother heard her children scream, So she threw them in the stream, Saying, as she drowned the third, "Children should be seen, not heard." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: MGM·Lion Date: 05 Mar 14 - 03:19 AM I reiterate ~~~ I don't think this thread, dedicated to a particular genre of joke, should be filled with Harry Graham's 'Ruthless Rhymes' of 1898, unattributed. Distresses all my pedantic and taxonomic instincts! ~M~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: frogprince Date: 05 Mar 14 - 02:28 PM Mummy, Mummy. what does pedantic mean? Hush up and kick the old English guy again, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Musket Date: 06 Mar 14 - 04:09 AM Nice one Frogprince.... Hi Michael! Laughing with you, not at you. I recall at school a boy in our class with rather spectacular acne was given some cream by the GP and it didn't half pong... The poor bugger had to put up with the fact that children can be so hurtful at times, (thinking on, we had to be at least 14 ish?) at the time. One lad shouted out, when the class was being in characteristically quiet, "Mummy! What are we going to dip our bread in when Stephen's face has healed up?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Rapparee Date: 06 Mar 14 - 06:13 PM Mummy, mummy why can't you play with me right now? Hush dear, mummy's all wrapped up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Rapparee Date: 07 Mar 14 - 09:18 AM Mommy, mommy, do I walk funny? Shut up and put on your wooden leg. "See you have a flat tire." "Yeah. Ran over a broken bottle." "Didn't you see it?" "Damn kid had it under his coat." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Jokes: Mummy, Mummy From: Georgiansilver Date: 07 Mar 14 - 02:55 PM Mummy Mummy why do I keep going round in circles? Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor! Mummy Mummy can I go play with Granny? No you dug her up twice today already! Mummy Mummy I'm 14 now can I wear a bra! Shut up Billy! |
