 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Signs you've never seen.
|
|
|
Subject: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 05 Oct 13 - 08:52 PM GOOD DOG! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Ebbie Date: 05 Oct 13 - 09:35 PM |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: frogprince Date: 05 Oct 13 - 09:46 PM I'll be tempted now to suggest that the lady who runs the book-swap store here puts up a "Warning! Good Dog!" sign. She keeps a pooch in there that I love. He looks like a sawhorse covered with sheep wool. You'll be looking for books, and the next thing you know your hand gets washed. When anyone he knows comes in, he's apt to start this goofy whining that's a stitch. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: JohnInKansas Date: 06 Oct 13 - 04:26 AM One of the social laboratories where I once sampled quite a few chemical mixtures did one time post a sign: BEWARE OF THE DOUG (Doug was the bartender. For weeks after, when anyone new approached the bar he'd go "grrrrr" and point at the sign.) The sign may have been suggested by a "Far Side" cartoon(?). The nearly ubiquitous one that of course lots of places displayed was: "WWTLTYGYBAT" (Of course I'm drifting since the subject was signs you don't see and not real ones that were cute. John |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 06 Oct 13 - 04:54 AM One I have seen: FORGET THE DOG, BEWARE OF THE KIDS. RtS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Mo the caller Date: 06 Oct 13 - 06:51 AM "WWTLTYGYBAT" ??????? ??????? what was that meant to mean?? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: JohnInKansas Date: 06 Oct 13 - 07:28 AM I figured everyone would have met a bartender who explained: "When Was The Last Time You Gave Your Bartender A Tip?" John |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Jim Carroll Date: 06 Oct 13 - 07:33 AM BODHRANS WELCOME Never seen one, but I am assured they exist in some of the further flung territories of traditional music. Jim Carroll |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: MGM·Lion Date: 06 Oct 13 - 07:45 AM I am reminded of the bottle label bearing the instructions, "Keep away from children. Do not drink" ~~ as to which one lady purchaser commented that she would find the second injunction easier to obey if only she could find some way of encompassing the first. ~M~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: MGM·Lion Date: 06 Oct 13 - 07:50 AM And a sign on the driveway to the garages at a block of flats where I used to live read simply BEWARE OF CHILDREN Yee-hah! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: JohnInKansas Date: 06 Oct 13 - 08:25 AM A used car lot in the area recently had a sign that read: "UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN A LARGE LATTE AND AN ICE CREAM CONE." (If you can't keep track of them now, just wait until ...?) John |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 06 Oct 13 - 08:58 AM I've never seen a convenience store whose marquee offered: WARM BEER! STALE COFFEE! OVERPRICED CIGARETTES! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Georgiansilver Date: 06 Oct 13 - 09:07 AM SLOW ELDERLY PEOPLE CROSSING! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 06 Oct 13 - 09:48 AM Shoplifters will be referred to a psychologist. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: MGM·Lion Date: 06 Oct 13 - 10:35 AM The grounds of a Friends" Meeting House, according to tradition, boasted a sign which read "Trespassers will be Forgiven"; a folktale, I much fear? ~M~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: GUEST,grumpy Date: 06 Oct 13 - 11:46 AM A couple of Irish sign I've never seen. 1) Warning. No roadworks ahead. 2) Beware of out-of-date 'Loose chippings' signs. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: frogprince Date: 06 Oct 13 - 12:00 PM I haven't seen precisely what Bee-Dubya-el posted, but we saw this in Moose McGillycuddy's, in Lahina, Maui. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: DMcG Date: 06 Oct 13 - 12:45 PM A corporate mission statement that starts: Our mission is to make as much money for ourselves and our shareholders as possible. Every thing else is secondary. Yes oddly enough most companies I know behave exactly as if it were. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 06 Oct 13 - 12:55 PM All banjos and bagpipes welcome. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Jim Carroll Date: 06 Oct 13 - 03:34 PM "All banjos and bagpipes welcome." Nice story about the local annual music event here - The Willie Clancy Summer School After forty years of it's existence it was finally decided to introduce Melodeon/accordion classes (not popular around here, which is predominated by fiddles, flutes, concertinas and pipes) Noticing the lack of publicity for the classes, The school director (the late, lamented Muiris O Rochain) was approached by the class organiser ( leading Irish accordion player) and asked, "would you like me to run off some publicity posters and distribute them around town?" Muiris replied "Don't bother, we don't want to encourage those yokes too much". The next village south of here, Quilty, a fishing village which once had a reputation for rowdiness and insularity, turned up on an events leaflet as "Quietly", thanks to spell-check. Further on, another village with the same reputation was fitted with a traffic calming notice on the outskirts reading, SLOW THROUGH VILLAGE - local comedians carefully removed the S and T from the sign. Jim Carroll |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Joe_F Date: 06 Oct 13 - 06:03 PM In the Boston transit system, signs saying NO PASSING THROUGH have sometimes been emended, pathetically, to NO ASS ROUGH or, more ingeniously, to NO ASS OUCH |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Rapparee Date: 06 Oct 13 - 06:13 PM I've never seen a sign that said: FREE MONEY -- HELP YOURSELF At the cemetery where my family has put down roots, the sign at the gate reads: HOURS OF OPERATION 8:30 am to 8:30 pm. I asked if everyone inside had to leave by 8:30 p.m. and was told that such was the case. When I said that I wanted to come 'round at 8:30 some night and watch I received a very puzzled look. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 07 Oct 13 - 05:07 AM (This is a sign I have seen, so not strictly relevant) My last village had a large and busy crematorium, with a lovely Garden of Remembrance where ashes could be either scattered or deposited in a small plot. A huge sign on the gate (meant to deter private cars and allow only official funeral vehicles) announced NO ENTRY. CORSAGES ONLY. Several people in the village rang the Director to point out the mistake, but he was an arrogant old thing and did nothing for quite a time. I often saw people using mobile phones to take a picture of the sign. Eventually it was changed to 'corteges'. Normal for Norfolk! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 07 Oct 13 - 06:13 AM Even schools now have pretentious mission statements. A private school on the corner of my road now boasts:"creating confident and caring citizens for the future". (Oh, yeah?) My favourite advertising strapline was on a vehicle that clears blocked sewer pipes "Number 1 in the number 2s business". RtS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Jim Carroll Date: 07 Oct 13 - 06:44 AM Nice notice to be seen years ago outside a pub in Warrington called 'The Cemetery Arms' (named after it's nearest neighbour) "No spirits served after 10pm." Jim Carroll |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 08 Oct 13 - 01:29 PM "TURN LEFT ROR THE REPUBLICAN WISDOM SEMINAR" Not likely in so many ways. Don T. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 08 Oct 13 - 01:35 PM Even more unlikely, even for chimps: "FIRST LEFT FOR THE TEA PARTY!" Don T. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Donuel Date: 08 Oct 13 - 01:36 PM You ought to be PANICING NOW |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 08 Oct 13 - 01:40 PM Sign at boundary of Indian reservation: "REAL HOME OF THE BRAVE!" Don T. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: HuwG Date: 08 Oct 13 - 02:46 PM My thanks to "Mock the Week" (BBC2 comedy programme) for the following: "Welcome to Scotland. No salad for 200 miles" "Welcome to Bracknell. Twinned with Hell" "Sharp left turn ahead. Careful, ladies" "River ahead, which your satnav thinks is a road" "No entry. No exit. No left turn. No right turn. Get out of the car and put your hands on your head. Do it now!" "If you can read this sign, you have crashed into my garden" I wonder what sign could have been put up after the "Western Mail" warned that "The entrance to Thornhill Crematorium is a death trap". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 08 Oct 13 - 03:04 PM (Total Thread Drift) The entrance to the crematorium in my old village was indeed a death trap in icy weather. It was very exposed to the Norfolk winter blast and often had black ice all along that stretch of road. One day, horrifyingly, a hearse skidded and actually overturned right outside the gates. The funeral firm (as many do) had stored a second coffin in a secret chamber underneath the first, for a funeral later. This shot out and burst open against a tree. I leave it to your imaginations what scenes ensued. Dreadful. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Don Firth Date: 08 Oct 13 - 04:07 PM Fairly standard "no parking" sign one sees in a number of places, including about two car lengths before a "stop" sign, so it won't be obscured. It says: DANGER ZONE IMPOUND PARKED CARS Some wag attacked one of these signs near where I live and scratched out a couple of letters so it now reads: ANGER ZONE I POUND PARKED CARS Don Firth |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: GUEST,Ed T Date: 08 Oct 13 - 06:22 PM Outside a feminist meeting: "Cock free zone" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: GUEST Date: 08 Oct 13 - 06:28 PM Sign at the door of an "Ugly Person" convention: ""Please refrain from blowing dog whistles, it could start a stampede"" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs you've never seen. From: Padre Date: 09 Oct 13 - 12:47 AM For a festival program: 2 PM - Bluegrass Hurdy-Gurdy Workshop |
