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BS: todays advice
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Subject: BS: todays advise From: olddude Date: 22 Jan 13 - 10:01 PM When the shit hits the fan don't stand in front of the fan Today's words of wisdom :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advise From: Janie Date: 22 Jan 13 - 10:10 PM I dunno about that Dan. If it is something like well composted cowshit, chickenshit or rabbitshit I might be inclined to stand in front of the fan with a big collection basket, envisioning the spring garden. Now, if it be Chongo shit, I'm definitely gonna duck and run for cover. |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advise From: Bill D Date: 22 Jan 13 - 10:23 PM Murphy's Law # 29.4a " Whatever hits the fan is not evenly distributed!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Georgiansilver Date: 22 Jan 13 - 10:34 PM Best not to throw it at your fans anyway.. they may not come to watch you perform again! |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Beer Date: 22 Jan 13 - 11:30 PM "Pissing in the Wind, Getting over my Friends." Jerry Jeff Walker wrote some great songs, and this was a great line to one of them. adrien |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: olddude Date: 22 Jan 13 - 11:44 PM If it is green and fat and giggles ... don't think it must be jello |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: olddude Date: 22 Jan 13 - 11:50 PM Do not try to fix your broken zipper with crazy glue |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: olddude Date: 22 Jan 13 - 11:53 PM If yer gonna sing in the shower don't bring your guitar |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: gnu Date: 23 Jan 13 - 05:43 AM Plug in your truck BEFORE you go to bed you cheap bastard. BRRRRRRRRR! The Keekee birds are froze solid, buddy! Frosbite warning on the news... 10 - 30 minutes exposure. |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Pete Jennings Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:21 AM When the shit hits the fan make sure yer standin' behind Janie... |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:23 AM A few to choose from Das computenmachine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen, und poppencorken mit spittzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pokets, relaxen und watch das blinkenlights. Anon. Rien n'est plus dangereux qu'une id´ee, quand on n'a qu'une id´ee. (Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you have only one idea.) Alain (´Emile-Auguste Chartier The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali I hear, and I forget I see, and I remember I do, and I understand. Anon. A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And he answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness. And that is Fate? said the priest. Fate. . . I thought you said Freight, responded the Master. That's all right, said the priest. I wanted to know what Freight was too. Kehlog Albran.The Profit Hanlon's Razor: . . . "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." Anon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: gnu Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:31 AM That Anon is an idea man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:42 AM The problem with not standing in front of the fan is that it makes others suspicious. Nobody's going to give you credit for being smart enough to simply stand out of the way. If you're clean while everyone else has shit on 'em, then either (A) you had advance warning of the fecoventillatory situation or (B) you supplied the shit. To quote an old rhyme: There you stand, all spic and span. Where were you when the shit hit the fan? |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Dave Hanson Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:12 AM Don't eat yellow snow. Dave H |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:21 AM ""Nisi credideritis, non intelligitis"" (If you don't believe it, you won't understand it.) Saint Augustine of Hippo,Del Libero Arbitrio |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:24 AM ""The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give the data authenticity"" Norman R. Augustine |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:33 AM ""We know nothing until intuition agrees"" Richard Bach, Running From Safety ""If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts,he shall end in certainties."" Francis Bacon,The Advancement of Learning (1605), I v 8 ""The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet"". Dave Barry |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:37 AM Even if it can't, it might. A. J. Barton An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. Orlando A. Battista |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:40 AM Franklin: Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date? Headmaster: Of course they're out of date. Standards are always out of date. That is what makes them standards. Alan Bennett,Forty Years On (1969) |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:43 AM Esse est percipi. (To be is to be perceived.) Bishop George Berkeley |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Ed T Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:49 AM ""Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it."" Ambrose Gwinett Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1911) ""Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect—don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be"". Ambrose Gwinett Bierce |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: ranger1 Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:54 AM Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig. |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: kendall Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:57 AM "Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco." (Will Rogers) |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: GUEST,999 Date: 23 Jan 13 - 08:16 AM I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. Oscar Wilde |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 23 Jan 13 - 08:17 AM Here's one piece of advice I ought to practise myself: "Never open one's mouth before engaging one's brain." Also, on the same theme, "It's better to keep silent and have everyone think you're a fool, than to speak and leave them in no doubt." |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Charmion Date: 23 Jan 13 - 08:43 AM "Time spent in reconnaissance is seldom wasted." |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Richard Bridge Date: 23 Jan 13 - 08:50 AM The horse might die; Or I might die; Or the king might die; Or, who knows, the horse might learn to speak. |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: olddude Date: 23 Jan 13 - 10:15 AM I want to be the guy who plugged the fan in |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Bill D Date: 23 Jan 13 - 10:44 AM "Strive for simplicity, but learn to mistrust it" A.N. Whitehead "Don't do too good of a job- folks will begin to expect it." Talkin' John, average old carpenter. "The 2nd mouse gets the cheese" anon |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: gnu Date: 23 Jan 13 - 05:21 PM "The 1st mouse gets the glory; the mice get the cheese." gnu The early worm gets the bird. Variation |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: GUEST,Musket sans cookie Date: 23 Jan 13 - 05:52 PM A bird in the hand shits on your wrist |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:25 PM When the shit hits the fan...don't forget to use toilet paper...and next time you might consider a toilet! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Charmion Date: 23 Jan 13 - 06:33 PM "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing." |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Janie Date: 23 Jan 13 - 07:01 PM lol, Peter! |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: GUEST,Grishka Date: 24 Jan 13 - 03:25 PM If you want a decent tan without risk of dermal can- cer, try shitting in your fan. |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: Bill D Date: 24 Jan 13 - 04:24 PM "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission" "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public" In various forms, attributed to P.T Barnum and sometimes to Henry Ford or others: but has been traced to H.L. Mencken |
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Subject: RE: BS: todays advice From: GUEST,999 Date: 24 Jan 13 - 06:15 PM Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin |
