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BS: Atomic Clock Worries...
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BS: Atomic Clock Worries... |
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Subject: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Bobert Date: 28 Dec 11 - 09:57 PM So, I got this "atomic clock" and am seriously worried that if I try to set the time on it that I might blow up half of the United States??? Should I try it??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Bill D Date: 28 Dec 11 - 09:59 PM "Critical mass" It would take 9,427 of those clocks to power a chest X-ray. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Bobert Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:02 PM You got any sources, Bill... I mean, given all the misinformation out there and the gravity of the consequences, I donno??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: GUEST,999 Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:16 PM I can help with this. Simple, really. Wind it in Samoa on Friday, December 30, because according to John in Kansas, it's been cancelled and if something goes wrong it won't matter because it won't have happened. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: GUEST,999 Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:17 PM But tell me, Bobster, what does the atomic clock worry about? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Rapparee Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:25 PM Well, it's like this. That clock doesn't contain radioactive material -- none, or rather no more than any other clock. It's linked to the "atomic clocks" at the Naval Observatory and/or the ones in Colorado. It sets itself to these by a teensy-tiny radio receiver inside the clock. Nope, you can't get enough of them to amass the 10kg or so of fissionable material needed for a simple, dirty bomb or even enough to make the core for an implosion device. And I kinda think that you'd be hard put to find lithium 6 deutride at the neighborhood pharmacy, so a fusion weapon is probably a non-starter as well. Sorry. I CAN tell you to make some nifty keen-o old-fashioned chemical stuff, though, but not here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Crowhugger Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:42 PM Aw c'mon guys, Bobert clearly wants something to fret about. Here you go ruining his source of worry over something trivial like, I dunno, reality. Maybe at least try to offer up some alternative stressors. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: GUEST,999 Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:48 PM The voice of sense at last. Crowhugger is right. But, I think it prudent to err on the side of caution: Bobert, do NOT wind the clock. The Mayans warned us all about this! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Bobert Date: 28 Dec 11 - 11:20 PM Well, I'm gald you brought up the Mayanz, brucie... Hey, when the archeologists mapped out some of their cities the streets were 50 feet wide??? What the hell was that about??? They have big traffic jams, 'er what??? Anyone want to weigh in on that??? Didn't think so... What else??? Oh yeah... Seems that we have another muddie conspiracy theory going that these things ain't go no atoms in 'um... Hey, accordin' to the Wes Ginny Slide Rule they got more atoms that ya'll can count if ya'll conspirators lived to be as old as Mosses... In other words??? I am on to ya'll... Got it??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Rapparee Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:28 AM You've discovered the truth and now you must be silenced. Yes, they have atoms in them. These atoms will, on a predetermined date, meld together and form a core of plutonium 239 (239 Pu) surrounded by explosive "lenses" to compress the core enough to push it over into a chain reaction. This will result in a fission reaction of about 18 kiloton yield -- BUT!! it will be surrounded by a shell of cobalt 59 (59Co) which will capture many of the escaping protons and other atomic stuff and turn it into 60Co -- in short, a cobalt bomb! This should wipe out the entire Northeast, except where people are protected by what scientists call the "MC BS shielding effect." This protects all who are regulars at the Mudcat Cafe or who own a guitar, banjo, squeeze box, french harp, or similar instrument from the effects of the cobalt bomb. The black helicopters should be arriving any minute now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Paul Burke Date: 29 Dec 11 - 04:04 AM Just keep it out of the reach of earthquakes, tsunamis, terrists, athiests and pets. If your hair and fingernails fall out, consult your doctor. If swallowed, wash out with Jack Daniels. But rest assured, in the unlikely event of malfunction, it is designed to melt its way through the Earth till it reaches China, where it was made. In the meantime (geddit) enjoy the accuracy. You can now keep appointments to the microsecond. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Dec 11 - 11:02 AM I always thought fissionable material was like bait........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: saulgoldie Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:12 PM Hey Bobert, Just fire up a blunt and chill, man. You worryz waaay too much! (He said, relighting his pipe. Um, tobacco, that is. Penzance in a Peterson bent Rhodesian.) Saul |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: GUEST,999 Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:44 PM "Penzance in a Peterson bent Rhodesian." Sounds like it could hurt, Saul. Hope you're over it soon. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Arkie Date: 29 Dec 11 - 01:43 PM I have two of those blasted atomic clocks. They have deprived me of any concern about springing backward and falling forward when daylight savings time kicks in and out and resetting when the power goes out. At least the battery needs to be replaced every couple of years and it does help to place the watch near a western window when daylight savings time changes. So they do need a little attention. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: gnu Date: 29 Dec 11 - 02:18 PM Do they both have the correct time? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Don Firth Date: 29 Dec 11 - 04:57 PM We have an atomic clock in the kitchen that we inherited from somebody. Dial about twelve inches in diameter. Hangs on the wall. I haven't noticed it glowing in the dark....... I have a Casio digital watch that I paid about $45.00 for about twenty-some years ago. It has an LCD clock-face in addition to displaying the time and date in digits. You can set it for regular time or 24-hour read-out. All of this in a squarish case about an inch and an eighth high and wide and three-sixteenths of an inch thick. Black plastic case with little buttons peeking out here and there. You have your choice of a top-of-the-hour "beep-beep" or none at all. Five alarms you can set, stop-watch, countdown timer, and a number of other features that I rarely use, such as winding the cat and putting out the clock, starting the coffee in the morning, and burping the baby. I put a new battery in it about eight years ago and the sucker is still running! I check it and reset it every week with THIS. It gains about three or four seconds a week. Helluva watch!! You can keep your $10,000 Rolex!! Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: kendall Date: 30 Dec 11 - 07:26 AM Guest999, I like your suggestion. Take it to Samoa. The collective wisdom here is amazing. A friend of mine is always bragging about his atomic watch. When he checks it I always check my antique Elgin pocket watch and it's right on the money. Thanks again, Olddude. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Arkie Date: 30 Dec 11 - 08:11 AM Always have the correct time on both. Never regretted the $30 spent. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 30 Dec 11 - 10:47 AM Is that the only clock you've got, Bobert? I just did a quick count, and there are 14 clocks at my house, if you count the two in the dashboards of the cars. The cuckoo clock is my favorite. Did you ever get rid of the bats? Maybe you should put the clock near the bat colony, and the radiation would drive them away. (Just kidding. I'm sure your clock is not radioactive.) Wait a minute - we have 15. I forgot the one hanging on my purse. Oh, and the clocks in the cell phones.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Nigel Paterson Date: 30 Dec 11 - 11:12 AM Having read the whole thread, I've started constructing a shelter in my back garden. When it's finished, there'll be room for myself, my wife & TWO more. The first two to contact me with a brief outline why I should protect them from 'Bobert's Atomic Clock' (The brief outline is key to your success, just being first in line does NOT get you in)...subject to our approval, you will be saved from armageddon & get to spend the rest of your life in East London UK. Not sure which is the lesser of the two evils...East London or armageddon ;) Nigel & Ann Paterson |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Pete Jennings Date: 30 Dec 11 - 11:19 AM I think the threat from Bobert's atomic clock is way over-stated. It's Bobert and his shotgun at Christmas time we oughta be worried about... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 30 Dec 11 - 01:22 PM Lead poisoning from the mistletoe |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 11 - 07:39 PM Ya know, I was going to link to a bomb shelter design site for good ol' Bobert to build, the there are far too many. I suggest that you do a search for "bomb shelter design" or "fallout shelter". You'll be amazed. Now I think it's better if he builds a small, blast-proof spot in which he can store the clock and check the time there whenever he needs to. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Bobert Date: 30 Dec 11 - 09:51 PM Bomb shelter??? Brilliant, Rap... Just don't need to put no atomic clock down there... Ol' wind-up be fine... Of course, won't be able to sleep 'cause they is purdy noisy... Tick-tock, tick-tock... I like quiet clockx... They don't do that tick-tock stiff.... Hey??? Seems I have on of them 70s clock radios somewhere where the numbers kinda fall on these little cards in there... Hmmmmmm??? Wonder where that thing is??? Don't think them things ever killed anyone... Okay, maybe they did but if they did I didn't hear nuthin' about it... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Atomic Clock Worries... From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 11 - 10:11 PM Now, iffen you want to make a REAL fallout shelter, you could build it UNDER that there pond you got. That way the water'd help keep the radiation out. 'Course you'd still wanna put a nice, thick roof of reinforced concrete and lead on it -- maybe, say, 18 inches of of reinforced concrete and another 18 inches of lead. Make sure you waterproof everything real good. |
