 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Signs stating the obvious
|
|
|
Subject: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Arnie Date: 31 May 08 - 05:25 PM Having just travelled a few of the (gridlocked) motorways of Britain, I noticed the proliferation of road signs stating the bleeding obvious. There I was, travelling in thick fog through Yorkshire,and the M1 had helpful little illuminated signs every few miles stating 'FOG'! Did some Highways Agency drone think that we drivers might not know what the thick white stuff restricting vision to 20 yds was? Another equally annoying sign was 'Roadworks ahead - please drive carefully'. Well, until I read this, I had been thinking of driving like a lunatic, accelerating into the cones and knocking them over like ninepins, so thank goodness there was a sign warning me against this. It really is a case of the nanny state going into overdrive. Any other equally superfluous examples? - I suspect the UK is not alone here..... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Wyrd Sister Date: 31 May 08 - 05:34 PM I passed a sign last weekend which proclaimed 'Two meals for £12'. Then underneath was an explanatory note:'Choose two meals marked two for £12 from our menu and pay just £12 for both.' Just in case you were wondering, I suppose. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: katlaughing Date: 31 May 08 - 05:42 PM Hmmmm...in other words choose two six dollar/pound meals and pay only 12?!**bg** The drive carefully I can see, at least over here, because people do drive like idiots and workers are often hit and or killed. Any state patrol who gets out to a car on the side of the interstate is taking their lives into their hands. We just had one killed recently by a reckless driver. The one that wasn't so obvious which used to get me, in New England was SLOW BLIND CHILD PLAYING Read it any way you want! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 31 May 08 - 05:42 PM I like the ones where they have a sign on a door saying, "Do Not Open This Door". The thing to do in response to that is tape a note below it asking the questions: "What use is a damn door that can't be opened? Why don't you just brick it over?" Or else a note that says, "I opened it and took a look. I was unimpressed by what I saw. Sue me." I have also bought plastic items of various sorts which had warnings on them saying, "Inedible. Do not take internally." You have to wonder! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: *Laura* Date: 31 May 08 - 05:44 PM "Do not throw stones at this notice!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: *Laura* Date: 31 May 08 - 05:45 PM "Caution: Contents may be hot" on coffee cups. I bloody hope the contents IS hot!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 31 May 08 - 05:48 PM They should advise against wetness too! Very irresponsible of them to neglect that, I think. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,lox Date: 31 May 08 - 05:53 PM Between the ages of about 4 and 14 years old, I lived in a 12 story bloack of flats on a housing estate that was surrounded by jungle in Hong Kong. To get to it you had to drive up a long road that snaked up the hill from the main road. When you reached the top of the hill, just before entering the estate, you passed a sign that was mounted on the hillside which bore the legend "Beware of Children". I remember on several occasions myself and my friends entertaining ourselves by hanging off this sign and growling at passing cars like a pack of aggressive baboons. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,lox Date: 31 May 08 - 05:54 PM Ever seen a bag of nuts bearing the legend: "warning: may contain nuts" mmm hmmm |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 31 May 08 - 05:58 PM I don't think we will be entirely safe until all unopened peanuts (and other nuts) have that printed in bright yellow letters on the outside of the shells. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: bobad Date: 31 May 08 - 06:02 PM Recursive escalator sign |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,lox Date: 31 May 08 - 06:03 PM Perhaps it could be addded to the mudcat title page ... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,lox Date: 31 May 08 - 06:04 PM ("may contain nuts" that is) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Peace Date: 31 May 08 - 06:23 PM Right! Write! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 31 May 08 - 06:29 PM It could also be posted on all the doors leading into the Pentagon... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Anne Lister Date: 31 May 08 - 06:48 PM I've always enjoyed roadsigns. I've especially always liked "Heavy Plant Crossing" (never seen one - a triffid?), "bear left" (there never is one) and, a real favourite, "Changed priorities ahead" - which is a philosophical challenge. We've seen signs for "free range potatoes" (you wouldn't want a battery farmed one, would you?) and we've been irritated by that silly, ungrammatical slogan of "Don't Drive Tired". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Bainbo Date: 31 May 08 - 06:54 PM "Use both lanes" How d'you do that, then? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Amos Date: 31 May 08 - 06:58 PM Peace I stared at the Illiteracy ad for five minutes looking for he misspelled word before I got the joke. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Slag Date: 31 May 08 - 07:20 PM The one I love was "We have braille menus available" at the drive-up window at McDonald's. Obviously our litigious society has produced these signs, explaining simple truths to idiots, because these idiots have in some way hurt themselves on a product (burned by hot coffee, roared through a construction zone at a high rate of speed, stuck a piece of plastic in their mouth which should not have been in their mouth and I'm not even going to talk about Hoover vacuum cleaners!). The REALLY sad commentary is that some benighted panel of 12 who have the luxury of time for analysis have sided with the morons by awarding them damages for their own foolishness. Hence the signs. Victims all, I'm sure, of a public education. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Morticia Date: 31 May 08 - 08:02 PM I think we could all learn a life lesson from reading a bottle of bleach though: 'Do not Drink' and 'Keep away from Children' |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Joe_F Date: 31 May 08 - 08:04 PM lox: I once bought a bag of nuts with the legend "If salted, contains salt." An infamous cartoon by Charles Addams showed a driver encountering a sign saying "Caution -- Children at Play". Above the road a group of children were levering a boulder down onto the road. Tabster: There is nothing wrong with the grammar of "Don't drive tired"; it has the same structure as "Don't be silly". "Tired" is a predicate adjective. Cf. RLS's "Glad did I live and gladly die". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 31 May 08 - 08:17 PM It should say, "Don't drive when tired." The verb "to be" works a bit differently from most other verbs. You can certainly BE tired or silly or stupid or lively...but you can't DRIVE tired or silly or stupid or lively. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: meself Date: 31 May 08 - 09:54 PM 'Don't drive tired' sounds like good, blunt English to me. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Bat Goddess Date: 31 May 08 - 10:00 PM Many years ago while visiting Mount Rushmore, I saw a guy with a cast on his arm. Neatly printed in marker on the cast was, "Hell yes I broke my arm!" He probably wrote it in desperations after the umpteenth query, "Did you break your arm?" I also love the directions on the Wet Nap package: "Open package. Unfold Wet Nap. Use." Linn |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Slag Date: 31 May 08 - 10:50 PM Lather, rinse, repeat... no end to it! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Peace Date: 31 May 08 - 10:51 PM "'Don't drive tired'" But then you'd be riding on the rims . . . . |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: John O'L Date: 01 Jun 08 - 12:48 AM "Don't drive tired" is superfluous. As Little Hawk notes, you can't. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: meself Date: 01 Jun 08 - 01:56 AM "Superfluous"? In what sense? It seems quite economical to me. The sentence achieves a potent directness through the use of ellipsis, a perfectly acceptable practice in English. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:18 AM One of my favourites - on scaffold on a bridge: "Bridge Strengthening Works", so it's not just to cause traffic jams then. Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:29 AM When I was a kid, I liked "Road Plant Ahead" I always used to ask Dad if we should water it or feed it... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:35 AM Or the one on the approach to a school: "Slow Children", label them early I say. Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Skivee Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:58 AM I saw an advisory on a 600 degree F air gun used for stripping paint. "Do Not Use As A Hair Dryer" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: DMcG Date: 01 Jun 08 - 03:28 AM There's a sign in a nearby shopping centre that should say 'fire escape', 'emergency exit' or some such. Instead it has some long winded and qualified phrase, something like 'Passage leading to means of exit'. Presumably this is for people who see a door marked 'Fire Exit' during a fire, and then just stand on the other side of it, whether they are still in building or not. I suggest that the notice is probably likely to cause more deaths because in a panic people would not actually realise that the door was the way out. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 01 Jun 08 - 05:52 AM School crossing attendants in the UK carry a lollipop sign saying STOP CHILDREN or STOP CHILDREN CROSSING Makes you wonder wht's over there that you don't want them to see? Don T. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:43 AM Don, I thought it was an injunction to use contraception. Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Slag Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:51 AM Falling Rock Slow for Speed Bump No Exit (over a door that otherwise exits the building) Post No Bills Post Office Will Not Deliver Without Postage Remove pins before wearing Make sure address shows through window One size fits all ( give me a break!) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 01 Jun 08 - 07:47 AM I remember in the 60's sitting looking at a door for days, the sign above said "Way Out" but nothing much happened, must have been bad acid. Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: topical tom Date: 01 Jun 08 - 09:31 AM I have always wondered about the sign seen in cars "Baby On Board".Is this simply parental boasting and pride or does it mean to drive even more carefully than for other cars who have no babies? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: JohnInKansas Date: 01 Jun 08 - 10:26 AM The "Baby on Board" has been touted as a way to assure that in an accident emergency/rescue workers will know that they should look for a baby. It is, of course, useless if stuck in a rear window and left there when there is no baby on board. "There oughta be a law" - and is, in a few places, making it a crime to display the sign when there's no baby. (But I've never heard of any such law being enforced.) The response by a limited number of people a few years ago in an area where I visited was a similar sign, apparently common for a while, reading "Vermin in Rear." From Arnie's first post: drivers might not know what the thick white stuff restricting vision to 20 yds was? 20 yards????? Fog is when you can't see anything but your own headlights reflected back in your face. Heavy fog is when you can't tell if your own headlights are on. (Very few in the US have "fog lights," and as I've seen them installed/used here they seem rather ineffectual. Perhaps they're more common, and serve better, in different climates.) John |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: pdq Date: 01 Jun 08 - 10:46 AM In the winter, I sometimes buy a package of firewood at the local grocery store. The wood is mostly from fruit trees in California's Central Valley where they are being bulldozed and removed to make way for houses. There was a proposition in California that required stricter labeling for consumer goods. It requires that the package of firewood have a large and prominent notice: "CAUTION: contents may burn". One might hope so, after all it is firewood. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 12:17 PM Shane has been known to stick a little yellow sign in the back window of Don's truck that says "Idiot behind the wheel". This would actually be a fairly accurate label for at least 1/3 of all vehicles on the road in North Ontario. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Celtaddict Date: 01 Jun 08 - 01:37 PM I can understand the 'fog' sign because, at least around here, there are many hills and ponds and streams and it is very common to be driving along in entirely clear weather, top a small rise and suddenly (at full highway speed) plunge into thick blinding fog, so a warning of such common 'fog pockets' makes sense. For years my mother collected funny signs; she is gone, now, alas, but I still find myself taking pictures of them. An all time favorite is on those center lanes: 'Left turn only, both directions' |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 01:40 PM "Hidden intersection" signs are fun...specially if you put them up on some stretch of road where there in fact IS no intersection for at least the next 5 miles. Elephant and dinosaur crossing signs are good that way too. It keeps people on their toes. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: David C. Carter Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:09 PM Sign on a pub door in Oxford,UK. "No blind guide dogs allowed". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: bobad Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:17 PM "No blind guide dogs allowed". I would have thought that to be illegal. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: David C. Carter Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:28 PM I don't know the current laws in the UK but it should be illegal everywhere. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Bat Goddess Date: 01 Jun 08 - 02:34 PM Many years ago I had a tubal ligation because my doctor had refused me any more years of The Pill. Upon being admitted to the hospital for the out-patient surgery, I, of course, had to sign a gazillion (approx.) forms and legal disclaimers. One of them made sure that I knew that the procedure COULD make me sterile. I signed it, of course, with the disclaimer that if it DIDN'T, my surgeon would get sued! There used to be a lovely sign in Portsmouth, New Hampshire (USA) that had no punctuation. It read, "No parking violators will be towed." I thought it quite generous of the bank to not tow parking violators. Linn |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 03:10 PM Indeed. That speaks well for Portsmouth. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Bat Goddess Date: 01 Jun 08 - 03:33 PM But it was a BANK -- and, I fear, oblivious to their own lack of punctuation. Linn |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 03:42 PM They should put up some further signs of the same sort. "No holdup violators will be arrested or shot." "No embezzling violators will be prosecuted." "No public nudity violators will be charged with indecent exposure." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:00 PM Our office space is severely limited and at times doorways have been blocked with cubicle walls or filing cabinets. Every so often someone will try to open the door either banging the blocking furniture or the person discovers there's no way in. Some bright person tried to solve this by applying a little sticky note sign: "This is not a door" I so badly want to add others including "And this is not a door knob" "And these are not hinges", and "And this is not a door frame" I'd also like to tack on "Brought to you by the stealth research program" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:07 PM How about one that says: "You're not here." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,Mike in DC Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:15 PM How about those government reports with one or more pages containing the words, "This page intentionally left blank"? Shouldn't there be another line after that with "Except for the preceding phrase"? And then another one after that? And another one? etc. Mike |
|
Subject: The space below is blank. From: Peace Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:21 PM |
|
Subject: The space above is blank. From: Peace Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:22 PM |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Amos Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:24 PM Ceci n'est pas un threead, either... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: pdq Date: 01 Jun 08 - 04:39 PM "this post has no content, said Ron, Blankley" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:02 PM Just walked down the hallway, Somebody scrawled below the sign, "Then what is it?" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Mo the caller Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:25 PM We wonder what we are expected to do about the signs that warn us of a 'weak bridge' or 'falling rocks'. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:27 PM You are supposed to freeze in a moment of stark terror, screech to a halt, look around wildly, then do a hasty three point turn and take an alternative route to your intended destination...even if it requires a 50 mile detour. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Mo the caller Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:29 PM There seems to be a mania for putting notices by the side of roads. Yes, they have all these clever electronic sign boards on the motorways, but they could just keep them for when they are needed, instead of forcing us to peer round all the lorries to read something that MIGHT be important. I'm still waiting for one that says KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Peace Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:30 PM That's 80 km in Canada. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 07:24 PM The dread falling rock respects no border, Peace! ;-) Such rocks will lurk atop a hill, cliff, or escarpment for hours or even days waiting for an unsuspecting motorist. Yes, they wait!... intent on propelling themselves down the slope and crashing into the side or roof of his car, thus causing death and dismemberment. After the vile crime is committed the rock will usually play "possum" and lie there innocently amidst the wreckage cheerfully planning its next act of mayhem... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: RangerSteve Date: 01 Jun 08 - 07:39 PM My problem with the "Falling Rock" sign is that it says "Falling Rock". Just one. And the sign implies that it is falling right now, as you are reading the sign. When no one is around to read the sign, is it still falling? Or is it perpetually falling, in slow mothion, never reaching the ground? I've personally never seen the falling rock. The only time there was a falling rock, and it missed me by about 6 inches, there was no sign. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Bill Hahn//\\ Date: 01 Jun 08 - 07:44 PM I love the one I saw recently at a shopping center----Speed Limit 5 MPH and below it---DO NOT ENTER Better safe than sorry. Bill Hahn |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: JennieG Date: 01 Jun 08 - 07:56 PM We have signs in Oz that say: FALLING ROCKS DO NOT STOP No shit, Sherlock??!!!! Cheers JennieG |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Jun 08 - 08:31 PM They don't stop because they have no respect for anyone! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 01 Jun 08 - 09:50 PM In Australia, we have a Hanging Rock. I'm not making this up, you know... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 02 Jun 08 - 01:03 AM TURN BACK YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY - this sign has been up for years since a nearby 2-way street was made one way. It was (almost) needed when the road was changed but that was years ago. sandra |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Folk Form # 1 Date: 02 Jun 08 - 06:35 AM Falling rocks do stop.....eventually. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 02 Jun 08 - 07:26 AM And then the sign is changed to "Danger men replacing roadsign" and then to "Danger Fallen Rocks" Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Mrrzy Date: 02 Jun 08 - 08:42 AM We always liked the pair of signs that said Deaf Child / Blind Driveway! But that wasn't obvious... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Mr Happy Date: 02 Jun 08 - 08:49 AM 'Blind Summit!' Approaching Macclesfield, used to think was a village name! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 02 Jun 08 - 09:06 AM On a rather switchbacky road:- "Hidden Dip" like an Easteregg hunt only savoury? Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 02 Jun 08 - 09:18 AM There is a now obsolete meaning to the word 'Dip' - refering to a guy... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Peace Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:08 AM A sign of the . . . ? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: open mike Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:37 AM I hung a banner at the entrance of the campground where we held a music camp out. A friend was to come along after me and re-position and secure the sign. I hung it where it could not be reached by the grazing cows in the near by field, as i remembered hearing about cows eating all manner of stuff, including fiberglass insulation off of a water tank (bluck!) I put a note on the banner saying "keep away from cows" my friend hung it directly on the fence, thinking i had meant for HIM to keep away from the bovine critters. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 02 Jun 08 - 11:18 AM Ranger Steve, as to "falling rock", remember that "rock" may refer to a material, or just as well as "a piece of stone". And that a cliff or the sides of a highway cut may repeatedly (or even continually) produce rockfalls. Of course that's obvious, and tends to spoil the opportunity for a joke. Just call me Killjoy Dave Oesterreich |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,Neil D Date: 02 Jun 08 - 12:12 PM When we see a sign that says SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY my wife inevitably says "They'll speed up if you bear down on them". |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: eddie1 Date: 02 Jun 08 - 12:15 PM I did once post this in another thread, long ago and far away. For years I had a photo, on the notice board in my office, taken in Edinburgh Zoo. On one post were two signs. The first said, "Gentlemen", the second, "Exhibition area under re-development." Eddie |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Arnie Date: 02 Jun 08 - 12:58 PM Since starting this thread I think I'm becoming obsessed about these 'obvious' signs. I've just left a garden centre that had a sign over the exit door stating 'Drive home carefully'. Good job I read it before leaving otherwise I'd have driven home in a dangerous manner and no doubt would have had an accident. I never used to notice these signs before and wonder if it's a 'sign' of me getting older and more cynical? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Rowan Date: 02 Jun 08 - 08:25 PM In Australia, we have a Hanging Rock. Robyn, we have at least two. But the one famous for its Picnic is my favourite. Whenever I took my class climbing there the sign at the turnoff from the highway invariably had a fist-sized pebble hanging from it on a piece of string. And I too have always enjoyed the FALLING ROCKS DO NOT STOP of JennieG fame. Cheers, Rowan |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 02 Jun 08 - 08:28 PM Warning: Thread Drift Many moons ago in the state of Pennsylvania a young brave quarrelled with his father who was the Chief of the tribe. It was such a terrible argument that the young brave ran away from the tribe. As the years passed the Chief began to understand that it was just the way of young men to argue with their elders and that the argument had been over something petty and meaningless. He grew to miss his son very badly and wanted him to return. The tribe searched and searched but could find no trace of him at all. To make matters worse the Chief was stricken with a strange malady which stole his strength. He feared that he might pass on and with no other heir the tribe would have no new Chief to guide them. And so he petitioned the good folks of Pennsylvania to help him find his son. They responded with sympathy and kindness and promised to do all they could to help find him. So the next time you pass through Pennsylvania please Watch for "Falling Rock" and let him know how much he is loved and that his father and tribe want him to return. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 02 Jun 08 - 10:00 PM I saw the following message painted above the fuel tank of a sleeper-equipped long-haul semi tractor (lorry to you UK types): "This is a team driven truck. Check bunk before leaving terminal." I can imagine a driver tooling down the highway and having one of the drivers from the rig's previous shift come bounding out of the bunk asking, "Hey, George, aren't we in Topeka yet? Wait a minute... You're not George! And this looks a helluva lot like St. Louis! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Slag Date: 02 Jun 08 - 11:06 PM I remember my brother and I as small children, being disappointed whenever we saw the "Watch for Falling Rock" signs. We'd strain our eyeballs but never saw one. Rats! There was a bumper sticker popular a few years back that stated, in rather small print, "If you can read this, YOU'RE FOLLOWING TOO DAMN CLOSE!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: meself Date: 02 Jun 08 - 11:16 PM Saw a bumper sticker on the back of a big truck one time - I could hardly approve of it, but I did have to laugh: "If you don't like my driving, phone 1-800-EAT-SHIT". I suppose it falls into the 'statement of the obvious' category ... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Micca Date: 03 Jun 08 - 04:29 AM I am not ssure if this fits this category or not, but, several years ago now in our local DIY store there were rain barrels for sale and a special adapter for fitting to the down pipe from the roof to collect rainwater, this adapter proclaimed in large letters, "With this adapter you can direct the rain water directly into your butt".. "the automatic overflow device then allows excess to run to drai" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 03 Jun 08 - 06:10 AM Colonic irrigarion eh Micca? Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Jim Dixon Date: 03 Jun 08 - 06:46 AM Not far from here is a sign that used to say "WARNING - ICE ON ROAD." Now, it's true, that spot gets icy in winter—water seeps out of the nearby hillside, runs onto the road, and freezes—but the problem with the sign was that they left it up year round. The sign must have seemed stupid to people who saw it in summer. So they changed it to "WARNING – WATER OR ICE ON ROAD." Now THAT sign seems stupid in a different way. When the road is merely wet, it isn't particularly hazardous, so no warning is needed. Also, the road doesn't get wet in the summer—except when it rains—because there is a culvert that does a good job of carrying away the excess water in the summer. It's only in the winter when the culvert gets clogged with ice and snow, that water runs onto the road and creates a problem. So I'm waiting for the next version of the sign. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Geoff the Duck Date: 03 Jun 08 - 07:08 AM Strange thing, Jim, but I was about to mention a similar one on a road I used to work near. In that case, it was one of the mobile hazard warning signs like ones used for roadworks, which warned of ice in the middle of the Summer. It was a drainage ditch with a small stream running under the road, which flooded in heavy rain and iced the road in winter. We tended to just return the sign to the Highways Department when the weater got hot. As for fixed road signs, they say things such as "Scunthorpe welcomes careful drivers" I keep watching for the one saying "If you drive like a nutter - go to Hull"... Quack! GtD. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jun 08 - 12:48 PM There was a restaurant in downtown Toronto which proudly displayed a sign in its front windows which faced the sidewalk. The sign said "IT'S COOOL INSIDE!" and it was decorated with artwork depicting icycles and little beads of coldness all around the words "IT'S COOOL INSIDE!". You were supposed to feel quite cool immediately just by looking at that sign. They were referring to their powerful air conditioning system. It was their idea that on hot summer days perspiring people who were proceeding down the sweltering sidewalks of Toronto would see the sign and experience an irresistible urge to rush into their restaurant to escape the heat and order a bunch of food and drinks. Well, I guess it worked okay in the summer. The problem was, they never took the damn sign down...and our winter seems to last FOREVER here...whereas summer is a brief respite from the cold weather blues. Time after time I would trudge by that place on some viciously cold day in January or February...the kind of day when your boots squeak on the pavement and dogs dare not pee on hydrants for fear of getting frozen in the act...and what would I see when I passed that restaurant? That damned frikkin' sign telling me "IT'S COOOL INSIDE!" Boy, did I ever start to hate that sign after awhile. This was an okay concept except for one thing. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jun 08 - 01:06 PM Then there was another restaurant in downtown Toronto that specialized in tropical fruit drinks. They had a sign on the wall extolling the wonders of the Papaya and how good it was for you to drink Papaya juice. The only problem was that there was a picture of a half-sectioned fruit on that same sign, and it was NOT a Papaya, it was a Mango! (there is no resemblance whatsoever between the two fruits, specially when they are half-sectioned) I finally pointed this artistic error out one day to the owner after having patronized the place for 3 or 4 years. I said, "That's not a Papaya on that sign, it's a Mango." He was not pleased, and he refused to discuss the matter with me. Some people just can't admit to an error! Their pride is involved. ;-) So...the sign is probably there to this day, raving on about Papayas while exhibiting a half-sectioned Mango. It's kind of sad, I think. But it's amusing too. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Michael Date: 03 Jun 08 - 01:25 PM On that paticularly irritates me, and I'm not really sure why, is one on a new housing development on the outskirts of town: " If You Lived Here You Would Be Home By Now" Mike |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jun 08 - 01:29 PM That is just plain stupid. No wonder it bugs you. They should have one at the entrances to Blind River saying, "If you lived here, you'd be FLIPPED!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: GUEST,Chief Chaos Date: 03 Jun 08 - 05:12 PM ... What a great story Chief! I really liked it! I'll be sure to tell that one to my kids the next time they see that sign! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 03 Jun 08 - 05:25 PM Jim Dixon, you reminded me of a sign I often see: "WATCH FOR ICE ON BRIDGE" Same comments applicable as with yours, of course. Dave Oesterreich |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Jim Dixon Date: 03 Jun 08 - 05:28 PM A sign I see frequently in shops/stores: THIS DOOR TO REMAIN UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS. I can imagine the employees saying, "Duh! So that's why we don't have any customers! We forgot to unlock the front door!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Slag Date: 03 Jun 08 - 08:13 PM I guess they have to do it and sadly for obvious reasons. No matter how lovely the decor of a restaurant there is the big institutional LIT exit sign over the door you just entered by. In addition every other exit is also marked and not only that, every door that is not an exit has a sign over it stating "This Is Not An Exit"! The first thing I do when I enter a building is look for possible exits. When I use a hotel or motel I always make sure I have at least two sources of egress. I can't remember if I was taught this or figured it out on my own but it's just automatic. Hey, maybe I'm paranoid but I also gage the walls as to the possibility of having to knock a hole in one to get out. Do any of you do this? I also try to choose a table that gives me a full view of the entrance and my back to a wall if possible. I can't sit in a vehicle without fastening the seat belt. To not do so is the same feeling I get as not being in the right seat in the resturant. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jun 08 - 11:53 PM Maybe you were Wild Bill Hickock or Dillinger or someone like that in a previous life, Slag! ;-) ALWAYS sit with your back to the wall and where you can see the whole room. ALWAYS have at least 2 escape routes ready. ALWAYS carry a loaded gun...safety NEVER on! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Slag Date: 04 Jun 08 - 01:58 AM Could be! How about a sign like, oh, say 100! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Jun 08 - 02:41 AM We have them on our Aussie highways - speed signs... :-P |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Rowan Date: 04 Jun 08 - 02:55 AM I also try to choose a table that gives me a full view of the entrance and my back to a wall if possible. I found myself doing the same thing, without being aware of it, until I was accompanied by a friend who was into one of the Eastern martial arts. I was leading the way to a table and, when I sat down, he said "Ah! The samurai position!" But I still choose to sit in such a location. And, while Robyn is correct about Aussie highway signs, it seems many don't regard the signs as stating the obvious. Cheers, Rowan |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Jun 08 - 09:13 AM ... especially since so many ignore them, Rowan.... :-) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Jun 08 - 09:25 AM BTW, it's spelled "Robin"... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Signs stating the obvious From: Rowan Date: 04 Jun 08 - 06:59 PM Sorry, mate. I'm sure I've got it right sometimes in the past but, while I was brought up to recognise particular gender assignations with different names (Marian/Marion, Vivian/Vivienne, Leigh/Lee, Peter/Peta and Robin/Robyn; to name a few) these have been undermined over the last 30 years and I'm currently surrounded by cross-dressers who've really confused me. Perhaps I need one of those signs that, to others, might be stating the obvious. Cheers, Rowan |
