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BS: Some things to ponder over...
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Subject: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST Date: 02 Nov 06 - 06:25 PM Some things to ponder over... If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness? What was Captain Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand? Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up? Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Republican President William McKinley boasted he came from a family of bookies. What were bookies ? In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Dave the Gnome Date: 02 Nov 06 - 06:29 PM Why is there only one Monopolies Commision? What do they call Bombay mix in Bombay? If you tie a piece of toast, butter side up, to a cats back and then throw the cat out of a window what will happen? :D (tG) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Amos Date: 02 Nov 06 - 06:32 PM Bookies are people who make book, usually illegally. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: John O'L Date: 02 Nov 06 - 11:12 PM DtG, that's the only cat I've ever felt sorry for. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Peace Date: 03 Nov 06 - 01:07 AM "Republican President William McKinley boasted he came from a family of bookies. What were bookies ?" Further to Amos' post, my grandfather knew some bookies who 'made book' (took bets) on horse races. If one couldn't get to the track to lay the odd fiver down, he would speak with these entrepreneurs and make the bet with them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: kendall Date: 03 Nov 06 - 04:38 PM I expect he meant readers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Dave the Gnome Date: 03 Nov 06 - 05:01 PM If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians etc? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: kendall Date: 03 Nov 06 - 07:26 PM Why does a car burn up and a house burn down? Why is "Phonetics" not spelled that way? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST,memyself Date: 03 Nov 06 - 08:05 PM Mothballs repel moths - do snowballs repel snow? Do basketballs repel baskets? Do footballs repel feet? If not, why not? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Don Firth Date: 03 Nov 06 - 08:07 PM I've posted this mystery a couple of times before, but with the Congressional election in a few days, it seems especially appropriate. Why are there so many more horses asses than there are horses? Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Slag Date: 03 Nov 06 - 11:56 PM Is "House cat" the same as "Cat house"? (Hi Don!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Paul Burke Date: 04 Nov 06 - 06:29 AM Think of the poor lumberjack- he spends his life chopping trees down, then chopping them up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Dave Hanson Date: 04 Nov 06 - 09:31 AM Why am I sat here reading this drivel ? eric |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST Date: 04 Nov 06 - 09:37 AM Why is abbreviation such a long word? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: JennyO Date: 04 Nov 06 - 10:26 AM If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST,Skipy Date: 04 Nov 06 - 10:58 AM If nothing sticks to "Teflon" how does teflon stick to the pan? Skipy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: *Laura* Date: 04 Nov 06 - 11:08 AM Good one Skipy!!! as with Captain Hook - what is 'Beast's' name in Beauty and the Beast? I was wondering that just yesterday........... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Bunnahabhain Date: 04 Nov 06 - 01:19 PM Why doesn't anagram have any anagrams? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 04 Nov 06 - 01:37 PM "Why doesn't anagram have any anagrams?" It does. For example the one for Ravi Shankar - "Raga Man". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Nov 06 - 02:54 PM Do blind folks use white steering wheels with red centers when they drive? I'm sure thsy drive because the drive-through bank machines have Braille on the keypads. Also, for those of you in the States and have seen the Reese Cup with caramel ad......Why would anyone be carrying a huge open jar of liquid caramel down the street? Does anyone eat it that way? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: bobad Date: 04 Nov 06 - 03:37 PM Is there another word for Thesaurus? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Don Firth Date: 04 Nov 06 - 04:44 PM I think this may be one of Newton's Laws (or was it Murphy?). When you accidentally knock something off the table and make a wild grab to keep it from hitting the floor, you invariably managed to knock something else off the table. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: IWTATBM Date: 04 Nov 06 - 05:10 PM Captain Hook's name was Smith and 'The Beast' was called Harold. I'm not sure about the rest. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Cruiser Date: 04 Nov 06 - 06:16 PM Bill Jefferson (BJ) Clinton: "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is" That "profound" statement will leave the most skilled ponderer contemplating for a long while to come… And Don, the 2nd item you knock off is invariably more important and has greater value than the first item. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Dead Horse Date: 04 Nov 06 - 08:17 PM ......and is full of something that will stain the carpet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST,memyself Date: 04 Nov 06 - 08:27 PM ... and if you had had the chance to consume it, it would have made you handsome, charming, strong and brave - for a few hours, anyway. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: katlaughing Date: 04 Nov 06 - 11:54 PM Why are most folks happy when the sky is blue, but say they are blue when sad? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST,282RA Date: 05 Nov 06 - 12:01 AM >>If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?<< Why is a lieutenant general higher in rank than a major general? Look it up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: Slag Date: 05 Nov 06 - 02:48 AM A full bird Colonel is only a Captain in the Navy. Its generally admirable that and Admiral is the equivalent of a General. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Some things to ponder over... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 05 Nov 06 - 03:04 AM Why does a dame ask "Is my nose too big?" when she already knows the answer and there ain't nothin' anyone can say that'll convince her otherwise? I don't fall for it anymore. The last one that asked me that, I just grinned and said, "Kid...if the Titanic had had a honker the size of yours the damn iceberg would've got the hell out of the way right quick, and a whole lotta people wouldn't of drowned that night." You shoulda seen the look! Then she started laughin'. It usually works, but your timing has got to be good. No fear. Gets 'em every time. |
