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BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem
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BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem |
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Subject: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: greg stephens Date: 17 Sep 06 - 11:23 AM Apparently a dreadful tree from China (called "Tree of Heaven") is invading England. It rapidly grows to a height of 80 feet, in a matter of minutes(actually the article in the Observer was vague about the precise speed, but it's pretty fast anyway). If you cut it down it just throws out suckers(quite the opposite behqaviour to that of a casino, which is another alien invader problem). It smells of rancid cashew nuts. This creates a bit of an identification problem, as hardly any of the population of Brtitain are familiar with this smell. The government warning pamphlet recommends buying a packet of cashews(use the unsalted variety) at a pub or supermarket and putting them in an open jamjar with half a cup of warm water. Then stick the jar on a radiator for a month or two. Then put your nose well into the jar and inhale deeply. Familiarise yourself with this sensation, then go out and smell any trees near you, and if they appear similar, report them to the police. Remember, these trees are going to be very tall. Watch the skies!! |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Bill D Date: 17 Sep 06 - 11:27 AM Ailanthus |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Linda Kelly Date: 17 Sep 06 - 11:31 AM I guess were all doomed-hey ho! |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: SINSULL Date: 17 Sep 06 - 01:12 PM leaflets with glandular teeth? Thomas PAine would be proud. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: gnu Date: 17 Sep 06 - 03:43 PM Minds me... years ago, I saw a pamphlet at the Dept of Natural Resources put out by Environment Canada. The last page was a reporting form to send to Ottawa giving the location details of any such plants observed. I sent one in, giving very detailed instructions as to where I had observed the plants... New Brunswick - every-fucking-where. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: greg stephens Date: 17 Sep 06 - 08:14 PM We're all doomed...dont laugh it off. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Skipjack K8 Date: 18 Sep 06 - 06:43 AM That's queer. We have a Tree of Heaven slap bang in the middle of the lawns at Lard Hall, been there a good twenty years, that some itinerant tree surgeons came and operated on last week. It doesn't pong at all, nor send out suckers, but the leaves and twigs match Bill's site description. I was all for turning it into Weston Whistles , but Mrs S insists it's a lovely tree and it's staying right where it is. I'll keep an eye on it now. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: ClaireBear Date: 18 Sep 06 - 10:47 AM Trees of heaven have been plentiful in California since the mid-19th century when they were brought here by Chinese laborers during our Gold Rush. They don't seem to have done any harm here -- unless that's why we're all so, umm, Californian . . . in which case, oh no! you're all doomed! |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: open mike Date: 18 Sep 06 - 11:16 AM i have seen them growinig out of thed tiniest crack in a sidewalk. they are very persistant. There is a grove of them in the middle of the forest near here...must have been chinese workers on the rail road or mines who planted them there...they are stinky! another import from asia is the Paulownia, or Chinese Empress or Royal Princess tree--it is filled with fragrant purple blossoms in the spring before the leaves grow. the trumpet-shaped flowers can perfume the whole neighborhood. http://forestry.about.com/cs/royalpaulownia/a/r_p_goldroot.htm http://www.paulownia.org/ known as the fastest growing tree in the world, some advocate using it as an ornamental or even wood and pulp tree for forestry http://www.paulowniasupply.com/index.htm others consider it a pest http://www.nps.gov/plants/alien/fact/pato1.htm |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 18 Sep 06 - 11:26 AM I hold Ailanthus trees in high regard. They go back to the days of the dinosaurs and are as common in America as "English" sparrows. They predate China by millions of years. They provide shade along the most dissreputable of urban streets and can grow up between crack in the sidewalk. They are also resistant to air pollution and will remember humans humorously, long after we have polluted ourselves out of existence. Unlike "English" sparrows though, they do not take over an ecological niche, driving out native species. They are peaceful aggressors and live in harmony with any other trees who can survive in hostile environments. All hail Ailanthus! |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Becca72 Date: 18 Sep 06 - 11:38 AM and here I thought this thread was going to be about Chinese immigrants with hygiene issues... |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Rusty Dobro Date: 19 Sep 06 - 04:09 AM English sparrows now quite rare in England......... |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Dave'sWife Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:30 AM The "Tree of Heaven" is also here in los Angeles and people have refered to it's offensive odor as being reminiscent of stale semen. You think I'm kidding.. just read: Sperm trees of Los Angeles Several other species have been tagged as the Sperm trees too with locals tending to believe it's the Chinese Shesnut. I'll find a more reputable source in a bit. I know of a book that discusses weord los Angles facts and it has a section on the "Semen Trees". I think it's the tree of Heaven they are talking about. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Dave'sWife Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:47 AM Okay - this isn't quite the lofty source I was looking for, but it sums up the whole issue of what trees stink in this manner: >>>Now the position of king sperm tree is hotly contested, some say the Carob, Ceratonia siliqua, some say the tree of heaven, Ailanthus altissima, and indeed, these trees do smell like the end of the Universe, but none is quite so wretch worthy as the Chinese chestnut, Castanea molissima, whose inflorescences, to quote a particular botanical website, "produce a pungent, displeasing odor, like that of human semen."<<< Taken from: nonsense a.k.a. the Sperm Tree (1/2-way down the page) |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: GUEST,Shimrod Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:24 AM Until a few years ago there were a couple of Ailanthus trees growing in the middle of my local shopping centre. They were in a square, surrounded by buildings, and didn't seem to be doing any harm - I quite liked them, in fact. Eventually they were chopped down and replaced with ...something? (do you know I've just this minute walked through that square and can't for the life of my think what has replaced the Ailanthus trees - senility keeps on creeping on!). Recently I've been doing a botanical survey of this part of S.Manchester and can't say that I've encountered any rogue Ailanthuses - but I'll let you know if I do. Actually the two most rampant plants at the moment are both British natives: Herb Bennet (Geun urbanum) and Herb Robert (Geranium robertianum) - I think that the most likely explanation is that their fruits are spread on the coats of Grey Squirrels (now there are a lot of those around!). |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: open mike Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:44 AM carob trees are sweet! as are the fruits and seed pods they are used as achocolate substitute and aslo as animal feed. isaved some seed form a row of them near Sacramento last year and now the entire row is cut down...glad i got one of them to sprout.. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Grab Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:26 AM You want rampant alien invaders - buddleia is somewhere up there. I've seen a very healthy specimen, about 10 foot tall, growing out of a crack in the side of a railway bridge at about head height. Goodness only knows where it gets its food from! Buddleia are fairly benign though - they thrive in rough soil (or in no soil at all!) but they're outcompeted in more fertile ground by other native species so they don't throw things out of balance. Japanese knotweed is the big problem though - that and Russian creeper. There's areas of the country where all the native trees and bushes are getting covered with this stuff. And sadly the only real solution is to burn the whole area and sterilise the ground with Roundup or something, which no-one can justify doing, so when they get outside people's gardens then all farmers or nature reserves can do is fight a rearguard action that's bound to lose eventually. There's also a few places where rhododendrons are a problem. Because they like dark places, they tend to outcompete native shade-loving species in woods. And the dark, damp conditions they create effectively stop anything else (including animals) from sharing that space. Graham. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Barb'ry Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:38 AM Don't forget Himalyan Balsam - taken over the whole river bank near us. And you're right - the carob tree does smell like sperm. When I was a small child and out and about with friends, I had smelled the disgusting pong and been told that that was what sperm smelled like - could have damaged me psychologically for years.. |
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Subject: RE: BS:Rancid Chinese alien problem From: Dave'sWife Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:31 PM We have so many non-native species here in los Angeles, that it'd be hard to pick one out as the most annoying. Oddly enough, in my yard, my biggest problem is a non-blooming rose bush that keeps coming back despite every attempt to dig up the roots. It was planted on the property back in the 1950s and allowed to naturalize. A few times a year, the owners would hack it back to within an inch of itself life and I believe it only made the thing that more determined to outlast mankind. We were nice to it for 8 years, trimming it, feeding it, using every rose trick there is trying to coax it to bloom. It refused and just kept growing into an ugly mass no matter how often it was cut back. This year my husband dug a trench around the thing to detrmine the extent of it's roots and found that they extend so far under the house that we'll likely never kill it all. The best we could do was saw off the root (which was the size of a large cinderblock) a foot or so under the house and try to brick it in like that guy in the Casks of Amontillado. We sprayed it with bleach water,bricked it in and then filled the trenches in and still the monster sends out new tendrils from under the house. It's will to live is formidable. However, it vowed to kill it and kill it I will. My will to eradicate is stronger and more terrible. |
