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BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses!
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Subject: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 16 Jun 06 - 07:36 PM That's right. Dumbasses. Like dumbass gorillas in other words. You won't find chimps doin' the Dum-Dum. Not stateside anyways. Chimps have too much class for that kinda thing. I'm not sayin' some chimps didn't dance the Dum-Dum back in the Old Country now and then. I figger some did. But it's only gorillas who do it around here, because they are dumbasses. It don't matter how you cut it, they just are, and that's all there is to it. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 16 Jun 06 - 07:46 PM I agree! Intellectuals prefer Tootsie-Pops! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: GUEST,Helmut von Gotenburg Date: 16 Jun 06 - 07:50 PM Edgar Rice Burroughs' in his original Tarzan of the Apes describes the infamous "Dum-Dum" ritual. This ritual, practiced by the Great Apes (as Burroughs called them) "marked important events in the life of the tribe—a victory, the capture of a prisoner, the killing of some large fierce denizen of the jungle, the death or accession of a king, and were conducted with set ceremonialism". The mysterious thing about the Dum-Dum ceremony is that the apes Burroughs writes about are a tribe of large anthropoid apes which he calls the Great Apes, but they are apparently not gorillas, since Burroughs has scenes depicting gorillas as enemies of the Great Apes. During this particular Dum-Dum dance, celebrating the slaying of another tribe's ape, female apes beat drums while males dance and attack the dead enemy gorilla. The Dum-Dum culminates with the apes devouring the mutilated dead ape. Was Burroughs referring to Chimpanzees as Great Apes or did he simply invent a fictional species of apes for the purposes of his stories? One gets the impression from the Tarzan books that the Great Apes are larger than chimpanzees, but it remains unclear what Burroughs intended in this case. One would assume that gorillas also practiced the Dum-Dum, but perhaps not. Burroughs seems to accord the jungle gorillas less sophistication than his Great Apes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jun 06 - 09:30 PM I thought this refered to the bullets made at the Arsenal in Dum Dum, India and banned by the Hague Convention of 1899. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 16 Jun 06 - 10:24 PM Those kinda dum dums can come in real handy at times, Rapaire. Nope, we are talkin' about the gorilla blood ceremonial here. Strictly for dumbasses that are still sittin' in the bushes and pickin' fleas off the next guy over. I don't know if Edgar Rice Burroughs figured chimps for the Great Apes or not, but I don't really think so. I think he got confused between one kind of gorilla and the other. Either that or he figured that real gorillas are so butt-ugly that he couldn't take it, so he made up some other kind of phony gorillas for his story. Yeah, that's probably it. He was right on about the Dum-Dum, though. The way he described it is just how the Bush gorillas do it. (and some around here too) They're almost as bad as humans! Ha! Ha! Ook! Ook! That was a joke. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 16 Jun 06 - 11:26 PM Chon, ol' ERB lived right here in Pocatello, Idaho. Yup. He ran a stationery store here. I kin take you to the spot -- it's a cab company now. That was right after he got outa the Army. I think that if his knowledge of primates was dynamite he couldn't blow his nose. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: John MacKenzie Date: 17 Jun 06 - 04:42 AM Only the Lonely. G. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Jun 06 - 08:05 PM Now, Rapaire, don't talk that way about the man who put the word "apeman" on the bestseller lists. You're liable to get a visit from some primate heavies who will rearrange your features and most of your bodily parts in an effort to raise your awareness...or at least...your sensitivity. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 06 - 10:02 PM Hey, them mugs don't scare me! Bring 'em on, I say. I got my .38 Special loaded with dumdum bullets. And if that don't dissuade 'em I got somethin' that will: a sawed-off double 12 loaded with #4 buckshot. And if they really try to be funny, I kin lay my hands on a tommygun. One with a 50-round drum magazine, too. Them mugs don't scare a real man. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Jun 06 - 10:34 PM You sound just like Chongo. You oughta go into partnership with him. You could call it "Man & Ape - Private Detectives" or maybe "Chimp & Pimp - Private Eyes"... Something like that... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM I ain't no chimp chump. Chongo only wants somebody to take the falls for him. I got so much lead in me now that I can't go swimming 'cause I'd sink. One time I was in a shoot-em-up with some mugs from Cicero and I took 47 .45 slugs in my gut. I had some putty with me an' I just plugged the holes up, reloaded, and sent all seventeen of them punks to the Unhappy Huntin' Ground. I used the putty after I got home to put in two windows some kids had busted playin' baseball. Chongo's a wimp. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Jun 06 - 10:44 PM LOL!!! Keep it up, Rapaire! Chongo loves that kind of talk. Maybe you would want to have a drinking contest with him? Shots of whisky lined up on the bar. First guy to keel over pays the night's tab. Whaddya say? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 06 - 10:51 PM Chimps can't hold their liquor. Nah, I don't wanna take advantage of him. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Jun 06 - 05:10 AM So you're a Bonobo boy then....? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 06 - 09:55 AM Oh, everybody knows that ya give a chimp one half a beer and they're either flat on their backside or worshipping at the porcelain throne. Just like all them monkeys. Their livers jist can't deal with the booze. A doctor told me that one time when he was straightenin' out my spine after Big Freddy used my back as a trampoline. Big Freddy ain't so big anymore, 'cause I rolled over when he was up in the air, reached up, and tied a knot in his manhood, if ya know what I mean. And the chiropractor could help me, but not him. Big Freddy now sings soprano in St. Dismas' Church Choir. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 18 Jun 06 - 09:33 PM If yer trigger finger is as fast movin' as yer lips, Rapaire, you must be one hell of a dangerous guy. Boy, oh boy. I ain't heard of this much hot air risin' since the Hindenburg blew up. I never met a man I couldn't drink under the table. Never. Human beings are sissies. They can't take the heat like a chimp can. No way. This Big Freddy guy, I bet he was no real challenge at all, just a fat bozo with poor reflexes. I fought Fat Freddy, the chimp from the Florida mob, hand to hand. That was some fightin', lemme tell ya. I woulda killed the sucker, but he got away. Then he met a bad end under the gun of that crazy Orangutan from Schenectady. Too bad. Freddy was a hell of a boxer. He went 3 rounds with Mighty Joe Young the USA Gorilla boxing champ, and that was when his head wasn't workin' right too. Joe Young knocked him clean out of the ring in the third round, but Freddy held his own till then. This is the ape I fought to a standstill. Look, buddy, don't play games with the big apes. I'm tellin' you this fer yer own good. I might take you on as a junior partner if yer half as good as you make out, but don't count on it. Nothin' is guaranteed in this life except death and taxes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 06 - 10:00 PM Chon' ole buddy, I got some little surprise for 'em if they come 'round me. It's initials are H.G. and it kinda looks like a dark metal pineapple -- and there's more where the first one comes from. More'n that, I got enough firepower to deal with 'most any mug that comes against me: ever see what a 180-grain softpoint .30-06 bullet does to a body? Or a double barrel load of #4 buckshot? Or a 325-grain hollowpoint .357 round? Or even a corn knife (looks kinda like this if you've never seen one)? As for not having any of these right handy when the baddies come, well, if you know how you're never disarmed until you're dead. So, you think you're good, huh? Using a rifle I can nail a guy at 325 meters with one shot and I know this 'cause I've done it -- can you? I've used every weapon from a garotte to a four-deuce mortar, and I've taught hand-to-hand killin'. Buddy, it ain't YOU takin' ME on as a junior partener -- it's whether or not YOU'RE good enough to work with ME. (And yeah, I know the Windy City; Chimp, I was BORN in Illinois.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 18 Jun 06 - 10:37 PM Hey, Rap-man, I run the show around here. Better believe it, Roscoe. I got four hands to handle deadly weapons, not just two like you pathetic humans, and I've handled every kind of deadly weapon there is. I can pick 'em off at long range too, and I have, but in downtown Chicago you don't get much of that unless you're a paid gunsel that does hits for the mobs, gunnin' down poor saps through lit windows from a tenth floor rooftop stakeout. I didn't figger you for that sort of lowlife, but maybe I was wrong. Nope, most of the shootin' I do is pretty close range stuff, and it's the guy with the steadiest nerve and the fastest reflexes that walks away when it's done. I got my trainin' in the jungle, pal. Barehanded. Against gorillas, lions, leopards, snakes, and crazy-ass black tribesmen and dumbass white hunters who thought they was Jungle Jim or somethin'. I took 'em all one, and I have the scars to prove it. Then I emigrated to the Big Apple and got more firsthand education on the dirty streets. Then I went to the Windy City, and the rest is history. I took down Big Daddy Malone at the height of his power. I gave chimps a name in this town, so's they could hold their heads up when they walk down the street. I don't take second billing to no one. Specially not you, bub. You are the first evidence I've seen that maybe some gorillas DO reincarnate as humans. The ones that couldn't make it as gorillas, I mean... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 06 - 11:23 PM Hey, Chimp! I was taught long-range shooting by the Army of the USA, and I used it fighting for the USA. Also that other stuff. Then I went to work for a Certain Government Agency, and I don't mean that pansy J. Edgar, neither! I would have been happy bein' an Illinois farmboy with my feet in the furrows and my only worry the price of soybeans at the elevator, but that wasn't to be. As for you and your jungle stuff, anybody can pick off the Jungle Jim wannabees. And if you was good you wouldn't HAVE scars because you wouldn't have let anybody GIVE you any. You even kill a guard dog -- an Alsatian -- with your bare hands? I have; had to, normally I like dogs but this one was one bad-assed puppy and he was between me and my getaway. Didn't smell me, the wind was toward me and I was behind him. It was over in seconds and I don't think he suffered, which was more than I would have if they'd caught me. After that it was a piece of cake, with only a minefield between me and the border. How's come down at the bottom it's talking about Tarzan? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Jun 06 - 01:46 AM Sheesh! The testosterone is getting so thick around here I can hardly breathe. Can you two guys just take it out into the alley and give the rest of us bipeds here a break? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Jun 06 - 06:16 AM Ah.. it's testosterone is it? I thought it was Bull ....... Either that or Manitas has been drinking guinness again. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Dum-Dum is for dumbasses! From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:56 AM I don't fight chimps. I don't fight anybody. I'm a guy who loves peace, and there ain't nothing so peaceful as a dead man. |
