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BS: Pole Vaulter
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BS: Pole Vaulter |
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Subject: BS: Pole Vaulter From: jimlad Date: 25 Jan 03 - 07:51 PM In the De-militarized Zone today the North Korean Pole Vault champion became the South Korean Pole Vault champion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Bill D Date: 25 Jan 03 - 08:09 PM I wonder how the news in Warsaw would repost this? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: stevetheORC Date: 25 Jan 03 - 08:12 PM In Polish I would imagine :-))) ORC'S Are Missunerstood |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Dave the Gnome Date: 26 Jan 03 - 07:17 AM Excuse me. Are you a pole vaulter? No I am a German, but how did you know my name vas valter? DtG |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: jimlad Date: 26 Jan 03 - 07:24 AM Dave Don't believe them buggers who say the old ones are the best,mate Jim |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: John MacKenzie Date: 26 Jan 03 - 08:45 AM Have you got a light mac? No, but I've got a dark brown overcoat! Boom boom. "Gorilla" Bonzo Dog Dooda Band" circa 1968 Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: jimlad Date: 26 Jan 03 - 10:07 AM My mate Richard was asked by a workmate "Have you got a piece of string on yer Dick?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: JennyO Date: 26 Jan 03 - 11:29 AM Ooh, that could be painful |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Hrothgar Date: 27 Jan 03 - 05:55 AM Not if it's on somebody else's. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Nigel Parsons Date: 27 Jan 03 - 06:08 AM An Englishman, a Scotsman & an Irishman are trying to get into the Athletes enclosure for a good view of the Commonwealth Games. As there's a building site nearby the Englishman picks up a marker peg (small/wooden) and approaches the gate: "Fanshaw, England, Relay team" he says, and is allowed in. The Scotsman picks up a scaffolding pole (being somewhat stronger than the Englishman) and approaches the gate: "McTavish, Scotland, Pole Vault" he says, and is allowed in. The Irishman picks up a roll of barbed wire and approaches the gate: "Murphy, Ireland,...Fencing!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Schantieman Date: 27 Jan 03 - 10:30 AM ...except that the Englishman is called Featherstonehaugh! S |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Schantieman Date: 27 Jan 03 - 11:55 AM ...so Featherstonehaugh, McTavish & Murphy have got mixed up in the French Revolution. 1789 and women knitting all over the place. (What were they knitting, I wonder? Probably not scarves, methinks). So anyway, the three of them are all due for the chop. Featherstonehaugh's turn first (bloody good job - I won't have to type his name any more) and the executioner asks him (you'll have to imagine the French accent here), "Do you wish to lie on ze guillotine face up or face down?" "I'm not afraid to die!" cries Rupert (for it is he), "I shall lie on the guillotine face up, for the glory of England." So he lies down and the executioner pulls the lever. The blade starts to fall. Suddenly, two feet down, it sticks! "Ah, m'sieu'," he says, "because ze machinery 'as failed, you are free to go, according to ze rules of ze revolution." So the Englishman, who can't believe his luck, gets up, and off he goes, a free man. Well, Hamish is next for the central role and the same rigmarole happens and he ends up on the block, face up, for the glory of Scotland. Over goes the lever, down comes the blade, and again it sticks. The Scotsman, too, escapes without a scratch. Well, now it's Paddy's turn. Not to be outdone by the others, he, too insists on facing the blade. He lies down and the executioner puts his hand on the lever. In the nick of time, Paddy calls out to him, "Excuse me sorr! Oi tink oi can see what's wrong wid your machine"! (Ducks for cover) S |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Schantieman Date: 27 Jan 03 - 12:04 PM ...and to redress the balance: Murphy goes for a job on a building site and the site manager says to him, "Now then Patrick, before I can take you on, I must find out if you know anything about the job. To start with, can you tell me the difference between a joist and a girder?" "Well," replies Paddy, "that's a difficult one. Now, let me see, ...... joist ..... girder .... [you really do have to imagine the accent here!] ... girder .... joist.....Ah, yes," he says, "I have it now: . . . . Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Declan Date: 27 Jan 03 - 12:09 PM An Irishman, an Englishman and a gorilla walk into a bar and the barman says "Is this some sort of a joke?". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: JennyO Date: 27 Jan 03 - 08:18 PM An Irishman rings up the airport: "Excuse me, could you tell me how long the plane takes to get from London to Paris?" "Just a minute, sir." "Thankyou." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: GUEST,MiI Date: 28 Jan 03 - 07:48 AM I have rarely seen such a concentrated amount of shite in the one place..... Mj |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: Nigel Parsons Date: 28 Jan 03 - 12:22 PM GUEST,MiI: Thank you for your carefully considered comment. I am sure it is indicative of your clear grasp of the English language, and of the use of constructive critcism. Nigel |
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Subject: RE: BS: Pole Vaulter From: JennyO Date: 28 Jan 03 - 09:44 PM Don't feed the trolls. |