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Revised song titles for aging Audiences

Steve Latimer 29 Nov 02 - 04:59 PM
Leadfingers 29 Nov 02 - 07:20 PM
C-flat 29 Nov 02 - 08:03 PM
X 29 Nov 02 - 11:38 PM
Cluin 30 Nov 02 - 03:24 AM
Long Firm Freddie 30 Nov 02 - 04:02 AM
Steve Latimer 30 Nov 02 - 12:41 PM
John MacKenzie 30 Nov 02 - 01:42 PM
Micca 30 Nov 02 - 02:32 PM
Steve Latimer 30 Nov 02 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 02 - 10:42 AM
katlaughing 01 Dec 02 - 12:37 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Dec 02 - 01:03 PM
Genie 01 Dec 02 - 02:09 PM
GUEST 01 Dec 02 - 02:44 PM
Mr Red 01 Dec 02 - 05:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 02 - 07:08 AM
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Subject: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 04:59 PM

This was sent to me today, thought I would share it with 'Catters.

Some of the old artists have re-released their greatest hits with new
lyrics to accommodate their aging audience.

The Greatest Hits :

Herman's Hermits-"Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"

The Rolling Stones-"You Can't Always Pee When You Want"

Paul Simon-"Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"

Carly Simon-"You're So Varicose Vein"

The Bee Gees-"How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"

Roberta Flack-"The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"

Johnny Nash-"I Can't See Clearly Now"

The Temptations-"Papa's Got a Kidney Stone"

Nancy Sinatra-"These Boots Give Me Arthritis"

ABBA-"Denture Queen"

Leo Sayer-"You Make Me Feel Like Napping"

Commodores-"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"

Procol Harum-"A Whiter Shade of Hair"

The Beatles-"I Get By with a Little Help From Depends"

Steely Dan-"Rikki Don't Lose That Clapper"

Creedence Clearwater Revival-"Bad Prune a-Rising"

Marvin Gaye-I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"

The Who-"Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 07:20 PM

I know Carl Denver released a punk record-I Remember You-Bastard


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: C-flat
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 08:03 PM

Or "Stairlift to Heaven"


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: X
Date: 29 Nov 02 - 11:38 PM

Ralph Stanley's "Man Of Incontinence Sorrow."


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 03:24 AM

Patsy Cline - "Walkin' After Six PM"

Steppenwolf - "Born Too Long Ago"

Elvis Costello - "Watchin' the Weather Channel"


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 04:02 AM

Ian Dury - Hit Me With Your Walking Stick

Ian Dury (Again) - Reasons To Be Grumpy (Part 3)

Donovan - Grey Is The Colour

LFF


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 12:41 PM

Some great additions here folks.


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 01:42 PM

Cilla Black Anyone who had a heart [transplant]
The Stones   119th nervous breakdown.
Porgy or Bess Zimmertime an' the walking aint easy.
Vera Lynn   Que sera sera, whenever we pee we pee.

Goota go dinner's ready
Giok


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Micca
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 02:32 PM

"Born to drink Mild" (believe this one exists!!)
Will ye go lassie go,(I need my nap)
When I'm 64 (next birthday)
Carry fergus...
Diapers are a mans best friend (from "Gentlemen prefer Blondes" but can't remember why)
Oldfolkshoma


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 11:13 PM

Giok,

I loved your Que sera, I'm still giggling!!


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 10:42 AM

Sorry, I can only think of some of the lyrics:

"...I'm goin' fine, Metamusil, Metamusil, okay!" (from "Old Folks' Homa")


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 12:37 PM

"Pump O'My Heart" (Peg O'My Heart)

"This cane was made for walkin'" (These boots were made for walkin')

"The parking lot's wide" (The water is wide)


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:03 PM

Kirsty McColl--Thank-you for the day care
Doris Day-- Hip Crackaway
Fred Astaire--The Incontinental
The Free French--Do I come here often
Tom Paxton--Going to the loo

Giok


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Genie
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:09 PM

Tie The Residents Down, Staff


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 02:44 PM

Here's one for a drug rehab unit (any age):

"I Can Pee Clearly Now"


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 05:57 PM

I'm surprised no one has mentioned "Hand me Down my Walking Cane"
Gotta "Shuffle-off to Buffalo"


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Subject: RE: Revised song titles for aging Audiences
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:08 AM

Of course, there are also

"Me and Bobby...no, Billy,...ah, what's his name again?" (Janis Joplin, "Me and Bobby Magee")
"The Teeth they are a a-soakin'" (Dylan, "The times they are a-changin'")
"Johnny, I hardly know ye"
"The hand that shakes the coffee" ("Wind that shakes the barley")
"Where did I put my hat?" ("Where did you get that hat?")

and let's not forget to revive the musical "Shuffle Along".


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