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Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head
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Subject: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wilco Date: 29 Oct 02 - 08:57 AM Mudcat has made me much more sensitive to some of my provincial, native Tennessee(USA)practices. But, on the subject of skinning housecats to make banjo heads, I need some clarification. Is the problem that you are bringing one more banjo into the world? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Hollowfox Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:10 AM As long as the cat died (as opposed to being killed for the purpose), I see it more as practical recycling. As far as I'm concerned, it's hard to have too many musical instruments in the house. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: fretless Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:13 AM There are never too many banjos in the world; however, Frank Proffitt was recorded as saying that it is wrong to kill your neighbor's LAST cat for banjo strings. All other felines are up for grabs. Note also that he was talking about (gut) strings. For the banjo head, you really should skin your neighbor's calf. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: greg stephens Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:25 AM Think I agree with Fretless on this. I've just been eying up the cat and my banjo and I'm sure it's not big enough for the head.Some of the neighbours' dogs look fine though. I'm using goat at the moment. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Jeri Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:37 AM This is NOT funny. (Somebody had to say it, and I got there first - nyah, nyah.) At least under normal circumstances. It would be absolutely hilarious to think about if your cat just ate your hamster or shit in your guitar case. I believe one of our local musicians went to see a group and one member had had his dog turned into a bodhran head when it shuffled off this mortal coil. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: InOBU Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:43 AM Dogs make very good Bodhran heads. In fact, I used to make drums (Goat skins - before you sharpen your knives...) one day a woman asked me to reskin her drum (made by someone else) with a skin "just like the torn one". I told her I didn't think she wanted to that, she asked why and I showed her the wee notation inside her drum D - skin... the thought that was the KEY THE DRUM WAS IN! No, says, I, that was the dog that lost the race at the track! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Willie-O Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:49 AM Ethical: only if it was roadkill, and only if it was an accident. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: katlaughing Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:10 AM Only if you have a death wish! katspeakingforcatseverywhere |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:18 AM The question, as always, is: Which is more annoying, the banjo or the cat? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Dead Horse Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:24 AM When actually acquiring the skin, I find it is a big mistake to use a shotgun! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: alanabit Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:25 AM Making a dead cat into a bodhran or a banjo is one of the few ways in which a cat can make a more annoying racket dead than alive. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Grab Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:51 AM Sure it's not funny. An excess of cats is no joke when you have to clean up after the little bastards. Unfortunately I don't possess the practical skills to do anything with the skin afterwards, else I'd have a lovely lot of furry gloves by now... Graham. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:59 AM There are plenty of texts on tanning at your local library. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Dead Horse Date: 29 Oct 02 - 11:02 AM I tried tanning at my local library, they threw me out! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Steve in Idaho Date: 29 Oct 02 - 11:03 AM This is indeed a dilema. I'd have to agree that if the cat died a fairly natural death then it would be prudent recycling. Then again - calf skin works better and you can eat the calf. Well you can eat the cat also but only if it hasn't bloated up to much prior to skinning and cooking. Norton now runs for cover amid the chaos of probable whipping with a "cat o nine tails" - how many cats died to keep that one alive? LMAO - Steve |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Rick Fielding Date: 29 Oct 02 - 11:04 AM Kate and Allie (they were named BEFORE we got them!!) have just run downstairs to confirm that I ONLY use plastic heads! .......oops.....I forgot about the LITTLE banjo uke!! Rick |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: chip a Date: 29 Oct 02 - 11:14 AM Really, cats (big ones) make great heads. A nice thin skin which has a bright sound. Slip the hair in a mixture of oak ash and water. Kinda messy but not too hard. Gives kitty a whole new life! Chip |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Oct 02 - 11:14 AM **Spaw peruses names on this thread and decides, what the hell....post it** I think instrument people have enough problems without invoking the wrath of animal rights folks. Like Emos Laer Parc, who was a Scandanavian Violin maker in upstate New York and had apprenticed in Germany. He set up a business in N.Y. building a very high dollar and high quality violin. Parc was killed by one of his customers about 5 years ago. Actually, it was the father of a young man who was known to be an up and coming violinist. They had sought out Parc and he made them a very custom model which by all reports was exceptional. The boy was quite satisfied I guess but about a year later he failed to take a first place in a junior competition in New York City. Evidently the father couldn't believe this was any fault of the boy and blamed it instead on the violin. The father and son went to Parc's shop on numerous occasions and although the boy was polite according to others who witnessed these scenes, the father was adamant that Parc's fiddle had been the kid's undoing and that he should have purchased one of the better known European models. Parc offered to make any adjustments the son might want, but refused to refund the money. I guess he had several well known violinists play the instrument and they all confirmed it's quality and sound. The final meeting came one night when the father showed up unexpectedly and shot Parc with a .357.....in front of witnesses. The trial was pretty quick and the guy got a life sentence for Second Degree Murder as a result of domestic violins. Sorry.......(Emos Laer Parc = some real crap) Spaw....yeah, it's the 4th time in two days I've posted this tripe.......so sue me.... |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: MMario Date: 29 Oct 02 - 11:26 AM I think you're using admirable restraint - all things considered. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 29 Oct 02 - 12:09 PM It is about time someone addressed this issue. While I have nothing against cats, dogs, goats, calves or any other animal whose skin may used for a banjo head, they are all , at least, domestic animals. It is when banjoists start using the skins of endangered species that I draw the line. Consider the mylar. The last thirty years have seen a tremendous increase in the use of mylar banjo heads. As most of you are probably unaware, the mylar is a medium-sized rodent-like animal that lives in the foothills of the Himalayan Mountains. At one time, there were so many mylars in Tibet and Nepal that one could hardly walk without stepping on three or four. The only use that the natives had for the critters was to occasionally throw a couple in the stew-pot for flavoring. One day some American hippy banjo players who were traveling around Nepal sampling the local herbs caught a few mylars, skinned them, and had mylar-kabobs for supper. When they awoke the next morning they discovered that the skins form the deceased mylars had dried become incredibly strong and absolutely crystal clear. One of the banjoists happened to have torn the calfskin head on his instrument and spent the morning replacing it with the dried mylar skin. When he tried it out, the banjo practically barked. Right then, they knew they were onto something. They skinned a few more mylars, put the skins in their backpacks and returned to the States with them. Then, they set up shop making banjo heads and contracted with Nepalese peasants to ship them as many mylar skins as they could procure. The rest is, as they say, history. As of this writing, the Himalayan mylar population is only about one per cent of what it was thirty years ago. The poor little beasts have been driven to the brink of extinction by tone-hungry banjo freaks. Furthermore, we've all heard the expression "There's more than one way to skin a cat". Well, there's only one way to skin a mylar and it's very painful for the little guys. Please do your part. Boycott mylar banjo heads. Join the "Save the Mylar Foundation". Send extravagant contributions by check, money order, or wire transfer. PM me for address and/or account and routing information. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: kendall Date: 29 Oct 02 - 12:21 PM Conversation between a tourist and a mink farmer. "Tell me sir, how often do you skin those mink"? "More than once a year makes them nervous." |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: katlaughing Date: 29 Oct 02 - 12:29 PM Why not skin a banjo player, once he dies naturally, and give him some new life? At least he'd be able to give consent beforehand. Bruce, does that mean that if I skinned my Rog for a banjo, I could replace certain of his parts, which I might miss, with mylar? Can it be fashioned into certain shapes? *bg* katsharpeningherclaws |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Coyote Breath Date: 29 Oct 02 - 12:34 PM Being a "Meisenheimer" (I've been told it is Bavarian slang for a nit picker) by birth as well as inclination; I believe that it needs be unborn calf (slunk) for the banjo head. That is why you get that "slunky" sound from a non-plastic head! Bodhrans use goat, of course (as in the "Peeler and the Goat") and the Scotts' version uses sheep. Or so I am told. Tanning is very easy, but messy, and should be done in a space that can stand slop. Lye will remove hair. Any good oily substance will replace the oily material in the skin (well maybe not motor oil) and smoking the hide (hanging up in smoke, not inhaling) will "waterproof" it. Willow makes it dark, oak, light, in color. Working the oils back into the hydrated and scraped skin is labor intensive but there are ways to make it somewhat easier. Additionally, tan only if you can devote the time to it without too mych interruption. It is OK to do it peicemeal but if it is being done outdoors over a period of a few days weather can mess up the hide. CB |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: AggieD Date: 29 Oct 02 - 01:07 PM I amost had a ready & waiting cat after I stomped on one of my cats today,(she was under my feet thinking that I was going to give her another nice tasty bit of the smoked salmon we had just had for lunch). Sorry I'll just try to do it a bit harder next time, provided the money's right.!!! ;-) Aggie |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Gareth Date: 29 Oct 02 - 02:05 PM Didn't Rolf Harris to a song on a similar theme ? Gareth _ (Ducking Hard) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Les B. Date: 29 Oct 02 - 04:00 PM Coyote Breath - I may be wrong, but I think the tanning you describe would make the skin soft and suitable for sewing pouches, garments, etc. I think what is needed is just the raw, dehaired & defleshed hide, before the oil and smoking ? Of course, according to Bob Flescher in his Medicine Show song, what to rub on the nipples if they protrude from the head can be another problem :)!! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Oct 02 - 04:09 PM I talked it over with our tough-guy cat, Leonidas the Terrible. He says he's fine with your idea, to skin your cat, as long as he can skin me first for a catbox cover. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wilco Date: 29 Oct 02 - 05:36 PM Thanks to all. It appears that the questions have been answered: yes, no,yes, and no. I am taking my swimming trunks to the library tonight, so that I can tan while I research Offenokee Mylars. These are native to the swamps and everglades of Florida. They are very numerous. The really large ones are inflated to make air bags in cars. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Chicken Charlie Date: 29 Oct 02 - 06:01 PM Bruce-- I think you're over-reacting. The Himalayan mylar population would renew itself if the Native Americans hadn't convinced the Supreme Court that mylar-skinning is a necessary part of their religion. Now, African killer mylars are another thing entirely. CC |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Steve Latimer Date: 29 Oct 02 - 07:20 PM 'Spaw, That's enough!!! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Oct 02 - 07:59 PM Doc Watson's new "Legacy" CD includes his story of a fortuitously-provided banjo skin.... ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 29 Oct 02 - 09:50 PM Wilco & Chicken Charlie As I am sure you are both aware, both the "Giant Okefenokee Mylar" and the "African Killer Mylar" are not true mylars at all. They are related to the true Himalayan mylar in the same fashion that the "Tasmanian Wolf" is related to true wolves - strictly a matter of appearance with absolutely no true genetic relationship. As Wilco pointed out, the skin of the Okefenokee Mylar is indeed used for vehicle airbags and exceptionally large specimens have been used to make helium balloons for NOAA. The African Killer Mylar is, of course used for the smaller helium-filled balloons which invariably slip out of young fingers and float out over the ocean. When these balloons do eventually deflate they fall onto the ocean where hungry sea turtles mistake them for jellyfish and choke to death on them. Hence the name "Killer". And, of course, there is also the "Mexican Matte-finish Mylar" which is the source of skins used for drafting film and overhead projector transparencies. None of these faux mylars have a skin which is suitable for use as a banjo head. The only source for banjo quality mylar skins remains the endangered Himalayan mylar. It would be a moot issue if it were possible to raise Himalayan mylars in captivity. However, their diet consists entirely of a particular species of fungus which only grows in Yeti faeces. They must be free to forage for this food source or they will perish. At current rates of "harvesting" the Himalayan mylar will be extinct in less than five years. Please do you part to help prevent this tragedy. The next time you need a banjo head, don't think, "Mylar". Think, "Aunt Sylvia's Moggie". Bruce |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: khandu Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:02 PM Spaw...What a story! Is it true? Sounds like some kind of parable about striving too much for imperfection, or ... tales of the Disfunctional-in-Denial Dad. k |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Oct 02 - 10:54 PM ATTENTION MUDCATTERS !!! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 30 Oct 02 - 12:18 AM The Himalayan Mylar problem was compounded by the fact that, without the Mylar consuming the fungi which consumed the yeti feces, the fungi were taking over the local environment and threatening the yeti themselves. Fortunately, an enterprising Tibetan capitalist noted that, without a viable population of Mylars about, the Gross Domestic product of Tibet was dropping [not from yaks or yeti], as there was nothing left for the Nepalese to sell to the outside world for a profit. The vegetables growing on the mountainsides were dying of anoxia due to the lack of catalytic action from the Mylar urine. [There are no simple ecologies.] Ngum, the TC, experimented with the only remaining resource at hand and discovered that yeti faeces, when properly treated, served as an excellent antibiotic for resistant bacteria. Due to the threat created by the American Patriot Act, the FDA was persuaded to fast track approval of this derivative substance for use in the United States. With the demand for this resource, Ngum really was able to clean up, as well as bringing in money to feed his hungry fellow Tibetans. In addition, an enterprising ad man persuaded his employers to corner the market on stray cats for instrument heads. You may have seen their ad in SingOUT: "Cathead, the head that keeps on purring." |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Clinton Hammond Date: 30 Oct 02 - 01:32 AM Where did I read recently that cat-gut strings was NEVER made from cats... Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader I think... |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Bert Date: 30 Oct 02 - 02:00 AM Actually our Seamus swears that in parts of Ireland Bodhrans are made of dog skin. He says they pronounce that particular variety "Bow Wow Rhans" |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Coyote Breath Date: 30 Oct 02 - 02:02 AM Les B.: Oh , yeah... that's right, ya need to NOT tan but to allow to UN-hydrate so you get "rawhide", I was thinking of an upcoming project to launch as soon as deer season comes up. But now, thinking more clearly, it would be great to make a couple of banjo heads instead of leggings. Hard to play a legging anyway. CB |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Dead Horse Date: 30 Oct 02 - 04:54 AM All this talk of Mylars, air bags, etc. has set me thinking. The old airships were skinned with a variety of materials, including aluminium. What if we were to use metalic banjo skins? Would we create a new beast on the lines of a Dobro guitar? What would we call it? A Dobjo? Perhaps a Bandro? I'm off to bed now, matron is coming down the hall. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Maldenny Date: 30 Oct 02 - 05:25 AM Metallic banjo skins - too late, it's been done already. There's a chap near here who makes banjos from old ham tins. Says they were all the rage in the US during the early 1900s. With Christmas coming up, it's a new use for all those big biscuit tins! mal |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Charley Noble Date: 30 Oct 02 - 08:51 AM It's about time this discussion came to a head... Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wilco Date: 30 Oct 02 - 09:29 AM If anyone is near SE Tennessee, come on by. I need some help. I decided to try this in a more humane way. I got fluffy prepped on a little shine in some tuna. When he recovered, he sure didn't seem to stay on the hoop. The strings seem to help holding him down. It took two tries, and be sure to put the head to the back side. If you mount the head up, you will have to play realllly, realllly fast! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: banjoman Date: 31 Oct 02 - 07:03 AM I presume that you have either a pretty big cat or a very small banjo. As to the "catgut "strings - these originated in Wales a land of song and "sheep Sh***gers" The history of those animals from the Himalayas reminds me of a tale I was told at my mothers knee when I was about 25. She claimed to have got her first job in 1914 in a factory in Liverpool where they used steel wool to knit kettles, and produced steel guitars as a side line.. I have tried it but the difficult bit is finding a volunteer to hold the skein around their wrists while the yarn is wound into a ball suitable for knitting. The factory down the road used to manufacture ear rings for Indians and was known locally as "The E(I)ngineering works. Have fun and keep them coming. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Coyote Breath Date: 31 Oct 02 - 12:20 PM I wonder what a banjo head made from those big, deep, popcorn tins would sound like? CB |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Amos Date: 31 Oct 02 - 12:25 PM Same sound as Mudchat makes when people are bounced electronically through the revolving door.... Sproiiiing..... A |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: AggieD Date: 31 Oct 02 - 12:27 PM I'm sure those huge baked bean cans would sound a gas Ag |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,jp Date: 31 Oct 02 - 12:53 PM alas..... alas ...... so many cats....... so few recipes....... |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Allan C. Date: 31 Oct 02 - 03:07 PM Truly it would take a very large cat to fit most banjos. As a rule of thumb consider thinking in terms of an inch of girth per pound. Thus, if you have a 14 inch banjo head, you would probably require at least a fifteen pound cat (remembering to allow for overlap). Personally, I prefer and recommend groundhogs for the purpose. The same rule of thumb applies; but it should be noted that acquiring a groundhog in the larger sizes is not at all difficult in much of the eastern United States. Besides, there are very few other uses for a dead groundhog and the skin is both thin and durable. Many older banjo pickers in Virginia and West Virginia strongly prefer groundhog skin to calf or mylar. The problem, of course, is that groundhogs are not ubiquitous throughout the banjo-playing world. In the U.S. there are regions where armadillos seem to replace the (roadkill) niche that groundhogs occupy in other areas. Unfortunately, I am not aware of a satisfactory process by which armadillo hide can be used for a banjo head; but am certainly willing to learn from anyone who has practical experience. In the UK one might discover that badger skin could serve satisfactorily, although I have not yet heard of such a practice. Elsewhere, marmots might possibly serve the purpose, but are not normally of a size large enough. For this reason I believe that a favorable financial impact to the poorer Appalachian areas of the United States might be possible through the export of groundhog hides already prepared and ready for banjo application. I am investigating the possibility of securing federal funding for a regional impact study of the potential financial upswing such an endeavor would produce. I will also seek further federal funding to study the potential impact upon the groundhog population. Once these are accomplished and a pilot operation is proved to be successful it will then be time to begin the full scale operation. Folks, clearly, this is a ground floor opportunity to own a piece of a "turnkey" operation. For only a small investment you could become a part of this important industry. Don't miss this chance to realize your dreams. You could actually own your very own groundhog hiding and banjo head manufacturing plant! Please PM me for details as to where to send your investments. (Offer void where prohibited.) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: MMario Date: 31 Oct 02 - 03:37 PM Rumour hath it that a properly prepared hide from a wild haggis is almost as good as that from a mylar. Can anyone verify? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: SharonA Date: 31 Oct 02 - 03:50 PM Re groundhog banjo heads: I wouldn't recommend locating your manufacturing plant anywhere near Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, where Groundhog Day is their biggest business! A former neighbor of mine would call a groundhog a "grinny", so I guess that a banjo player playing a banjo with a groundhog-hide head would be "a-pickin' and a-grinnyin' ". (Just a little Hee-Haw humor, there....) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 31 Oct 02 - 04:15 PM Yes, the nominal girth is insufficient to cover a full sized banjo unless you are looking at a fat [or flat] cat. A normal catskin, however, when properly stretched, the head tension makes a lovely resonance. In areas where the cats have been preyed upon, [endangered] a possum skin is also good, except when the skin has been punctured by any of various types of tooth. Wild haggi are too endangered to use. Homo sapiens sapiens have eaten so many that it is only possible to use the domesticated variety. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wilco Date: 31 Oct 02 - 06:00 PM Something is wrong with Fluffy. He's the cat that I warmed up a few too many times on shine and tuna. When he sobered-up, he kept busting lose from the banjo ring. especially on the real fast parts, where he got double-thumbed across his privates. I've found that a tubaphone tone ring works best with him, after about 1.5 ounces of shine. He positively resonates. Now he just goes-up an lays on the bare banjo head, alternately mewing at the jug of shine. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: michaelr Date: 31 Oct 02 - 10:05 PM BWL -- using endangered species for the manufacture of anything is just wrong. Remember naugahide chairs? So many of them were produced that the nauga population in all of South America dwindled to a few hundred, and hasn't recovered to this day. Cheers, Michael |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Dead Horse Date: 01 Nov 02 - 09:06 AM Haggis is of course used to make the bag in bagpipes. The British army in the Napoleonic period experimented with cat skin as a replacement (so many pipers lost at Waterloo) but they did not find favour with the Scottish regiments, who instead used them to hide contraband goods (hidden in old socks etc.)Believed to be the origin of *kit* bags. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Allan C. Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:17 AM DH, it is the opinion of many, (not me of course,) that live cats are still used for the purpose - or at least that seems to be the case, judging by the sound. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Gareth Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:30 AM First catch your cat - The problem with road kill is youv'e got to try it 9 times, and the tyre marks alter the tone. Gareth |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 01 Nov 02 - 10:36 AM By the bye, the armadillo bodied instrument is called a Charanga, according to a South American friend of mine. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: John MacKenzie Date: 01 Nov 02 - 01:33 PM I've got a coat made of wild Acrilan fur, are they an endangered species,and should I bury it with funeral rites immediately. I mean to take it off before interring it, in case anybody out there gets some smart assed ideas! Byeee....Giok |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 01 Nov 02 - 03:29 PM Oh, leave it on and hope not to be mistaken for banjo head material. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Gareth Date: 01 Nov 02 - 04:14 PM mmmmm ! Is there a bounty on Acrilan Pelts ???? Gareth |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: SharonA Date: 01 Nov 02 - 04:17 PM And were there Acrilan pelts on the Bounty? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: maldenny Date: 01 Nov 02 - 05:03 PM I'm force feeding next door's cat in an effort to make a big enough skin to cover my banjo. Of course there's the by-product of 'catty de fois gras'. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Amos Date: 01 Nov 02 - 05:10 PM Shouldn't be a problem if you keep hinm outside in windy weather, mate.... |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Gareth Date: 01 Nov 02 - 06:07 PM mmmm ! Thats a point the breadfruit has a thick rind - Could that be a vegitarian source of Banjo Heads ? Mind you if fiction is correct, on the Bounty it was not a question of cats being skinned to produce instruments by the crew. It was the crew being skinned by an instrument known as the Cat Sorry nautical quadruple pun - and I'am feeling groggy with it. Gareth |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,truckerdave Date: 02 Nov 02 - 12:13 AM Well now, i believe like everyone else says. You got to have a pretty big darn cat to make a banjo head. But then again, there sure are a lot of unwanted cats around. Take kittens for instance. Nobody wants a kitten. However, if you are getting a little rusty on your marksmanship and they're going to be euthanized anyway........well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. They're small and move quickly so they make pretty challenging targets. Just got to tie them each to a cement block or they will all just run away after the first shot though. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Hrothgar Date: 02 Nov 02 - 01:40 AM 1. Any reason for terminating cats with extreme prejudice is all right with me. 2. Wasn't Jim Ryun the last genuine Americam mylar? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: fogie Date: 02 Nov 02 - 04:32 AM I don't know if you lot in USA have hairless or hairy banjo heads. There's surely a lot to be said for well fleeced heads as they must produce a warmer sound. I'd also experiment with Angora, Yak, Chinchilla, but which side to have as the hairy one??? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Gurney Date: 02 Nov 02 - 05:44 AM I feel that I must appeal to banjovians (even though banjos don't appeal to me) to cease and desist from using either Hymalayan Mylars or the Common Haggis for Headskins. The reproduction rate of both these animals is very low due to their biology; they have two short and two long legs. Each. This enables them to move with great facility in their mountainous grazing areas, as the long legs are both ON ONE SIDE. As a result, there are clockwise and anti-clockwise variants of both species which means that half the specimens are unable to breed with each other, as they can only meet face to face (or the reverse) and fall over if they turn around. You will never see these creatures in a zoo for the same reason. No-one can afford to make a concrete mountain big enough to stop the poor mites getting dizzy. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 02 Nov 02 - 10:39 PM I have had the misfortune of eating haggis. Next time it is offered to me, I think I'll just eat a chunk of Mylar instead. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Nov 02 - 12:18 AM I generally prefer cats to banjos. However, a banjo in the hands of a really GOOD player can produce more tuneful sounds than a cat, especially when plucked strongly. This is a tough one... - LH |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 03 Nov 02 - 01:16 AM Gurney, Are the Himalayan sub breed of Mylars you mentioned any relation to the American Side Hill Mylar gouger? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Rapparee Date: 03 Nov 02 - 01:00 PM I wonder.... If one made the head (and back) of a banjo airtight, would the gas trapped inside alter the sound? For instance, would fulling the banjo with helium create high, squeaky sounds? And what about other gases? This is an entirely new area for experimentation! As an historical note: Great-great Uncle Joe Bob made a banjo whilst sitting in the outhouse, and it sounded crappy. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:11 PM Well! I am not going to remain silent when people joke about murdering cats in order to fashion primitive, bucolic instruments! This thread is deeply offensive. I have devoted many hours to rescuing homeless kitties in the Twillingsgate area, and I am appalled at the vulgar humour displayed in this discussion. While I understand that some of you are speaking tongue in cheek, I believe that there is a certain line which one should not cross, and it has definitely been crossed here. Banjos are crude, noisy instruments...better suited to a dance hall with straw on the floor, I should think. Cats, on the other hand, are subtle and gorgeous creatures, full of natural grace and wisdom. Kindly end this odious discussion. Hrothgar, I had better not find you roaming about Twillingsgate! Ms Penelope Rutledge, Twillingsgate, U.K. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Oaklet Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:34 PM Can I say, my dear Ms Rutledge, that of course, I am in complete agreement with you, and that my new friends in my string quartet (how we love Haydn's later, more turbulent opusesses) include a small businessman, and oral hygienist and an actress. I am off now to the library to read Keats, and after that will continue is my tireless campaign to rid the world of animal cruelty - particularly cats, which I love. May I ask, at this juncture whether you would consider doing me the honour of being my guest at The Brocklesby Hunt Ball this year. It is in three weeks. A truly wonderful opportunity to celebrate all the fun that the hunt has had this year in ripping literally thousands of foxes into tiny shreads. It would make a good-looking, virile and not impoverished farmer, very happy indeed. Yours affectionately Lionel Oakley |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Fingerbuster Date: 03 Nov 02 - 04:41 PM I'm with you Hrothgar, when are we goin ahuntin? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge Date: 03 Nov 02 - 05:05 PM Honestly, this forum is the very limit! I should have realized that traversing the wilds of the Internet would be an experience not for the faint of heart, but I had no idea what was out there until I did. Oakley, you are a persistent and unusual fellow, to be sure. While your efforts to better yourself are encouraging, I'm not sure that I can promise a meeting in the near future. By the way, I believe that the Nemesis of the North was a male, but I am not sure who. I suspect it was one of Winston's friends, most of whom are pretentious wastrels in search of idle tomfoolery. It didn't sound like Winston himself to me, though. They are just trying to stir the pot. I was thunderstruck at your suggestion regarding the wrestling match in the pit of mashed potatoes. You really do have a vivid imagination, don't you? Actually, it was rather funny in retrospect! You surely couldn't have been serious? If I were inclined to compete with another female in the arena of love, I would choose more subtle means than that, I assure you. :>) (Note that I have learned about emoticons.) Now I see that another subhuman cat hater is attempting to wave the red flag at me, as if I were some monstrous bovine standing in a field... Well too bad, Fingerbuster. I wasn't born last week, and I have said my piece. You can't put me off my tea and cookies that easily, sir! Ms Penelope Rutledge |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Oaklet Date: 03 Nov 02 - 05:28 PM I love you with all my heart, Ms Penelope Rutledge. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Hrothgar Date: 04 Nov 02 - 03:19 AM Feral cats are probably the greatest threat to any number of species of small native Australian animals. What we should do is import elephants and let them breed up in the wild in the hope that they will go around stamping on cats! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Fingerbuster Date: 04 Nov 02 - 10:35 AM The greatest threat to wild birds is posed by the average house cat. I LOVE wild birds, therefore i LOATHE cats. They should either be kept indoors, or, be painted a luminous orange and have their claws and teeth pulled out. I dont think that would spoil the skin for later usage by a Luthier? :-* |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: 53 Date: 04 Nov 02 - 10:57 AM it will be kind of hairy won't it? |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: wilco Date: 04 Nov 02 - 11:05 AM For all of those who have PM'd me about Fluffy, the live, banjo-head, guina-pig tabby cat. Fluffy went into kitty rehab, and is detoxing at the kitty clinic this very day. Afterwords, he will be in a 9 step program. Too much shine getting him prepped for his banjo head trials. Sober, he never would stay on the banjo head. PS: We had an awful time with his kitty insurance, they had to have documentation that he had a majority of his nine lives left (five or more). |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Grab Date: 04 Nov 02 - 12:30 PM Ms Rutledge should see the amount of gorgeous cat crap in my front garden, admire the subtle manner in which other people's animals have vandalised my flowerbed, and marvel at the delicate screeching of those vermin that fills the air when I'm trying to go to sleep... If it's a tame animal, the owner can compensate me for damage to garden and time taken to clean up the crap. And if it's a wild animal, there's nothing legally stopping me shooting it and skinning it if it comes in my garden. Frankly, I'm not sure there's anything you could do to a cat that would be regarded as excessive cruelty. I don't think there's anything you could do to a cat that would be *too* cruel. Graham. PS. There's more than one way to skin a cat. I know... |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 04 Nov 02 - 01:18 PM An interesting fact of New York law is that cats are not considered domesticated, as are dogs. Therefore, happy hunting, Graham. It also means that 'owners' are not liable for the damage their feline co-dependants do. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Nov 02 - 02:15 PM That is quite perceptive of New York. Cats, in fact, cannot truly be domesticated...which is one of the reasons why I like them. If they like you, you have to EARN it. Ha! This is probably the secret reason why "Grab" and various other wretched souls of his ilk hate cats...the cats are onto them! They know a dork when they see one! (hee, hee) :-) This is quite unlike dogs, who can be easily brainwashed into slavering loyalty and admiration for a dork...trained to fetch his slippers and obey his commands, etc. Pathetic is what it is... Cats respect themselves, and they respect people who respect them. Sounds like the basis of a healthy relationship to me. Do your worst, ya philistines! Whine and snivel about your precious gardens. Dog shit is far more intrusive than cat shit and always will be. Ha! We sneer in your general direction. Miaow!!! Fffttt! - LH |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Hrothgar Date: 05 Nov 02 - 02:36 AM Tell me, LH, has your cat trained you to fetch its slippers? :-) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Gurney Date: 05 Nov 02 - 04:33 AM To quote England's greatest current author, Mr. Terry Pratchett, "If cats looked like toads, everyone would know what horrible, vicious little bastards they are. Cats have style." 'Lords and Ladies.' Our female cat is nicknamed 'the carpet shark' and believes that she is the Alpha female in this den. If she could work out how to open the fridge, she could safely kill my wife.... |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Skipjack K8 Date: 05 Nov 02 - 07:34 AM Nice try, Wilco! You choose a surefire chart-topper, that goes platinum within a week of release, and then re-release in posting 78, using the Mudcat code-word '9', thus ensuring a further 60 responses (Appendix 1 - Oakley's Law), all without attracting fire for using Ulster or Shatner. A deft performance, sir. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Nov 02 - 11:47 AM Ho! Ho! I love the cat-lovers vs dog-lovers dispute. It's irrational, incapable of resolution, and it goes on forever, yet it doesn't matter a tinker's damn in the general scheme of things. It's far more entertaining than Democrats vs Republicans, far less harmful...and hopefully will still be around when those 2 parties have ceased to exist or even be remembered (Oh, HALLELUJAH to that!!!). For you folks who are amused or perturbed by the nasty side of cats, I highly recommend the comic "Get Fuzzy", which features the most psychotic, vicious, totally self-absorbed cat in history, and he's a Siamese too! He makes Garfield look like a stale twinky. If you've dealt with Siamese cats you know that they are INTENSE. They can raise the word "bastard" to a whole new level of meaning, if so inclined. And I still like 'em. Go figure, eh? The thing I can't stand about dogs is their emotional incompleteness...they are NEEDY...they need me or you to fill up their empty hours. I have a hard time putting up with that. I suppose it wouldn't be a problem though, if they were living a natural life (in the society of numerous other dogs). So actually, it's people who are at fault for the neurotic problems of their canines. That figures. People are generally a bit crazy. - LH |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: AggieD Date: 05 Nov 02 - 12:12 PM But that's why I love dogs, brings out the maternal instinct, but then my cats are Persians, so are just as needy as my dog. Hell I can't go to sit down on the sofa without having a cat get there first. So that brings us back to a squashed cat for a banjo. I'll just sit down harder next time, if someone will pay enough dosh, although if one of them pees on the mat again, I might just give her away free. No shotgun holes, just nicely flattened & banjo-ready. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Schantieman Date: 05 Nov 02 - 12:15 PM Some local moggy got into my house while I was away and shat on my freshly shampooed carpet. If I find the culprit, does anyone want a banjo? Steve |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 05 Nov 02 - 01:16 PM All's fair in love and pickin' |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Steve in Idaho Date: 05 Nov 02 - 02:57 PM I asked our barn cat, Alley, if she'd mind being a banjo head. Jan says the wounds will heal in time and the scars will barely be noticeable. To all of my Kat, catspaw, friends - Steve |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST Date: 05 Nov 02 - 03:01 PM I'm lookin' out at the bird feeder....How many squirrels do ya think it would take? Tim |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 05 Nov 02 - 04:07 PM Squirrels, a.k.a. tree rats would not work except on treble banjo heads. They, in addition to being rather small, have fragile skin. The only exception are flying squirrels, which stretch out quite well. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Nov 02 - 04:20 PM I should think dachshund skins would work marvelously. This means there may yet be useful work for the laziest hound in the world to do when he shuffles off this mortal coil. I told him all about it, and he opened one eye briefly. He's not amused, but he's too lazy to be bothered doing anything about it at this time. - LH |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Tim Date: 05 Nov 02 - 04:28 PM Too bad dulcimers have sounding boards instead of skins...dachsund be perfect for that. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Nov 02 - 06:10 PM Right on. Basset Hounds would be even better and would produce a very doleful tone suitable to minor keys. Weimaraners might work well for large drums, I should think. - LH |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Fingerbuster Date: 05 Nov 02 - 06:13 PM If the Luthier was to be careful with regard to orientation when mounting the CAT skin, it is eminently possible that a ready made sound hole could be incorporated into a "avant-garde" skin table guitar. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Dave Bryant Date: 06 Nov 02 - 09:02 AM Well, there are Basset Horns - why not Basset Banjo's. Incidently Hrothgar and Little Hawk, surely you know the main difference between cats and dogs. Dogs have owners, cats have servants. Finally - isn't Ms Penelope Rutledge wonderful when she gets angry - I could really fancy a posh tart like her. I bet she goes like sh*t ofF a hot shovel once you get her started ! |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Oaklet Date: 06 Nov 02 - 11:44 AM Dave Bryant, that falls within the category of fighting talk. |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Dead Horse Date: 06 Nov 02 - 03:36 PM The man is a well known & acredited pervert. AND Bassets are good for allsorts (except for the coconut ones) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: EBarnacle1 Date: 06 Nov 02 - 04:49 PM Coconut Bassett's Ice cream is fantastic!! 8{)> |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Bill Date: 06 Nov 02 - 07:23 PM Don't skin the cat--put the whole cat on the banjo it will probably improve the sound(for the rest of us anyway) Bill(the sound) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: GUEST,Bill Date: 06 Nov 02 - 07:25 PM Only joking Nic---Bill(the sound) |
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Subject: RE: Ethics: Skinning housecat for banjo head From: Allan C. Date: 07 Nov 02 - 03:01 AM BTW, if someone should happen to have a tiny banjo-uke or something in need of a new head, I have a 9 1/2 inch (largest useful diameter) groundhog skin (oak ash cured) I would gladly put in the mail. |
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