-- Áine

Maybe We Otter've Brought Some Brews, Eh? (London) - Two Canadian otters at a sanctuary in Scotland have been placed under 24-hour protection from aggressive local otters who are confused by their "foreign accents," a newspaper reported Wednesday.

The National Sea Life Sanctuary in Oban has installed an electric fence and surveillance cameras to protect its Canadian guests, Fingal and Sula, according to The Independent.

Though almost twice the size of their wild Scottish relatives, the pair are disadvantaged by their foreign accents and scent.

"Dialects are common in animal communications, but because of the differences in the sounds they make it will be difficult for these Canadian otters to communicate with the native ones," Matthew Evans, an animal communications expert from Stirling University, was quoted as saying.

"There is no doubt dropping two foreign otters into a territory of wild locals would lead to the local ones beating the living daylights out of the new ones," he added.

The pair arrived at the center's Otter Creek on the banks of Loch Creran a year ago and are currently being housed in an indoor seal pup nursery.

If ye ever come across the sea to Scotland,
Then maybe at some point along your way,
You will visit National Sea Life Sanctuary
Tae watch us clever otters at our play.

Sit and watch us all cavortin' in the trout stream,
Or swimmin' in Loch Creran at midday.
But we hae tae guard our turf here frae intruders
Wha smell sae strange and nae say much but "Eh?"

For the otters swimming in the pool in Oban,
Are braw, bricht beasties sportin' to and fro;
But those twa brutes they just shipped in from Newfoundland,
Speak a language that we Scots folk dinna know.

Those Behemoths came and tried to do things their way.
We scorned 'em for the Newfies that they are;
Well, they might as well be wearin' flannel ear-flaps
And flannel jackets in some backwoods bar.

Well, we'll expedite 'em to the life hereafter,
Keep our dear old Otter Creek sae pure and free
From the likes of Newfie lummoxes like Fingal,
Send ol Fin' and Sula back across the sea.

A

Awright, folks, with them compliments an' B.L.O.B.s and stuff, you just reinforce my silly behavior.  So, here's the beginning of another 'un:

The "Eh" Word (Advice From The Otters)
Words by Genie
based on "F-WORD (A CHAT WITH YOUR MOTHER)"
(Lou & Peter Berryman)

There are tourists in their gaudy blouses,
Cameras in their pockets
Coming here from Manitoba
In a chartered bus or two,
Curiosity in their eyes
And only Molson's on their minds--
It's from them I would expect to hear
The "Eh" Word at the zoo.

Chorus:
We sit down to have a chat,
It's "Eh" Word this and "Eh" Word that!
I can't control the language of the
Humans' sons and daughters,
But I don't wanna ever hear
That "Eh" Word from an otter!

Here's Genie's second B.L.O.B. for the Chorus in her second entry:

We sit down to have a chat,
It's "Eh" Word this and "Eh" Word that!
I can't control the language of the
Humans' sons and daughters,
But I don't wanna ever hear
That "Eh" Word from an otter!


-- Áine

Gareth **BG**

Farewell, and adieu, you wee Scottish otters!

Farewell and adieu to ye beasts of Oban!

Though yer wee coats are silkie and your ladies appealing

We must sail back tomorrow to far Newfoundland!

 

We'll chirrup  and "eh", like true Newfie otters

We'll writhe and we'll snarl to the Lunenberg Docks

Though we'd love to engage you in writhing and sporting

Ya cain't trust a lassy who won't even talk!

 

We'll chirrup  and "eh", like true Newfie otters

We'll writhe and we'll snarl to the Lunenberg Docks

Though we'd love to engage you in writhing and sporting

Ya cain't trust a lassy who won't even talk!

 

We'll chirrup  and "eh", like true Newfie otters

We'll writhe and we'll snarl to the Lunenberg Docks

Though we'd love to engage you in writhing and sporting

Ya cain't trust a lassy who won't even talk!

 

We'll chirrup  and "eh", like true Newfie otters

We'll writhe and we'll snarl to the Lunenberg Docks

Though we'd love to engage you in writhing and sporting

Ya cain't trust a lassy who won't even talk!

 

Ye done yerself proud, Amos. LOL!

Genie

(As for my having copious spare time, 't'ain't so. I'm just putting off the pile of work I have on my desktop -- which is why I didn't finish the "Eh" Word song. On the other hand, Derrymacash has set the bar pretty high where it comes to multiple verses penned for a single Challenge!)

*G*

A

I do have a problem though. In school when they taught us the mammal species native to Nfld. Otters were not mentioned! This thows into question the validity of my whole education. How much is 2+2? 4? it can't be 2 times 2 is 4.

But the otters could also be from, according to Sharon's website, any province but Alberta. You could even have them speaking with french accents. And you know how people in Great Briton feel about the French.

OK, Amos, no cracks about my "copious spare time."  I conjured up this one while stuck in Seattle rush hour traffic.*

Genie

Let's Ca' The Whole Thing Off
(by Genie, with apologies to Irving Berlin)

We say "oot" and ye say "oat,"
We say "aboot" and ye say "aboat,"
"Oot", "Oat,"
"Aboot," "Aboat,"
Let's ca' the whole thing off.

We smell funky; Canucks smell skunky.
We swim spunky; ye swim like monkeys.
Funky, skunky.
Spunky, monkey,
Let's ca' the whole thing off.

Wha say?  If we box yer ears, then ye maun leave.
And, hey, if ye hosers leave, we wouldna' lang grieve.

Ye woo girlies and we court lasses.
Ain mair "Eh" an' we'll kick yer asses!
B. C. otters,
Mak' ready for the slaughter!
We'll hae nae mair, sae be off!
Let's ca' the whole thing off!
 
 
 

* "Seattle rush hour" = Monday thru Sunday, 7:00 Am through 7:00 PM, especially if you're trying to cross a body of water.

A

§;- )

Frog, I do hope you get back to Seattle to see the town sometime. I jest (only slightly) about the traffic--at least about the length of the "rush hour." (But it did take me 50 min. to go 10 miles through Tacoma at 1:00 last Friday afternoon.)

Genie

Fingal and Sula
To the tune of "Frankie and Johnny"

Fingal and Sula were otters

Oh Lordy how they could ott

They left their Canadian homeland

To see the land of the Scots.

CHO: They spoke, all right,

But they were doing it wrong.

Otters are cuddly and friendly

Sweeter than honey are they

Unless you pronounce something funny

So you better watch what you say.

If you don't speak Scots

Well, then you're doing it wrong.

Fingal told Sula "start packing.

These bullies and snobs I can't take.

We're heading back across the Atlantic

Where you don't have to spit to say 'lake'"

CHO: They speak, all right,

But someone's doing it wrong.

I thought surely someone would work with "Loch Lomond" -- "But Fingal and Sula don't frolic any more, on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond..."

And I came up with the line, "It's a long way to ship an otter, it's a long way, to go..." but haven't had time to do anything more.

{have to admit I don't know what the verse sounds like - just the chorus}

A

"It's a long way to ship an otter!"

LOL, Deda and MMario!

Here's a chorus for your "Puff" parody, MMario:

Scrap the BC otters,
Send 'em baith awa'.
They talk sae queer and smell of beer,
Ship 'em back tae Ottawa!

All the best, Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

The "Eh" Word (Advice From The Otters) by Genie
Let's Ca' The Whole Thing Off by Genie
Otter Play by Genie

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

Farewell, Ye Scottish Otters by Amos
Fingal and Sula by Deda
When First I Went To Bonnie Scotland by Bullfrog Jones

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):

The Last Albertan Otters by MMario
Twa Beasties In The Firth by derrymacash