Dear Muddy,

As you may recall, I have been wrestling with whether to continue with my folk music career, or to move into brain surgery or rocket science. I have had one or two disappointments in the past week -- I was unable to find out where my interview to be a top neurosurgery consultant was, and missed the interview. I have also been unable to get my thumb into the right position for an over the top F chord. But these are minor setbacks compared to the problem I am seeking your advise for.
When I was feeling sad about things, I asked my teacher whether there was a good place to go and hear significant folk music from senior figures in the movement, so as to reaffirm my committment to this exciting career choice. He suggested that I go to the Mudcat Tavern, where, in his words, "I could listen to people discussing early model harmonies in Appalachian music, close singing in the Delmore Brothers, and honky-tonk architectural styles in mid-fifties Bakersfield, etc."
As I approached this Mecca of Music, I met a very genial gentleman who sold me a really exciting machine called a SADOMETRIC exerciser, and suggested that this might be a good career move too (but that is another letter, I guess). Carrying this machine, I then made my way gingerly into the Tavern, full of hope.
Upon entering, I witnessed scenes of such shocking depravity that I shudder even typing this. Gelatinous anarchy! Naked song wrestling! Did you ever see the elephant dance in Fantasia? Multiply that 10,000 times, add pecans and marshmallows, and sit back and wait for the compliments!
Sorry, where was I? Anyway, Muddy, my question is: is this kind of behaviour typical of folk musicians? Will it undermine my reputation as a budding neurosurgeon to be associated with this kind of filth? What should I do? Is this what one must do to be a true folk person?

CONCERNED IN CANADA

you must look beneath and behind the outward and visible signs to the inward and spiritual truths....

or in the case of the Tavern, go PAST the jello-pit and up the staircase and the reading/practice/singing/discussion lobby is on the second floor.

Why do you think all those great blind folk/blues singers went blind? At this stage in your education, I strongly recommend that you keep your eyes on your fingerboard.

--seed

One man's deprevity is the next guys cup o' tea. Don't let it bother you. Once you get used to it, insanity, nekkedness, dope, jumping headlong into a pile of rotting alewives, even being a Republican can be the most normal thing in the world once we get used to it. It's amazing (and depressing) what we can get used to. I know that info is terribly sad, but that's what makes dog races. It also makes huge seed pods turn into people while we're sleeping. (Then they sneak in wearing a Joe McCarthy mask & toss s**t on us----not to mention Super Glue. That can make instant siamese twins out of previously very independant folk. Happened to a friend of mine. Had to move to England so the other one could learn to drive.

Art Thieme

rich r

Recipe:

liquid blue jello chopped up tofu "chili dog" weiners cooked Ramen noodles

Mix, and chill till set. Serve topped by a structure of pipe cleaners, rooted into the jello, supporting a few strands of spaghetti with the bottom ends of the spaghetti aflame.

This is all historical fact. Pasta actually makes a pretty good torch, but you have to keep the burning end down. I learned this when I had a gas oven without a pilot light that had to be ignited in the inside of the oven - it was really scary reaching in with a match trying to find the gas flow then pulling your hand out quick when the flames leapt, and the pasta torch felt much safer.

I wonder if pasta technology could possibly make it any safer to light flatulence...

Disclaimer: Did I say that?

Marion