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Ways to stop unpleasant threads

dick greenhaus 21 Jul 99 - 12:51 AM
Dale Rose 21 Jul 99 - 01:51 AM
O'Boyle 21 Jul 99 - 02:15 AM
MudGuard 21 Jul 99 - 04:36 AM
Steve Latimer 21 Jul 99 - 08:54 AM
gargoyle 21 Jul 99 - 09:32 AM
Allan C. 21 Jul 99 - 09:55 AM
Jeri 21 Jul 99 - 10:00 AM
Art Thieme 21 Jul 99 - 11:36 AM
Susan of DT 21 Jul 99 - 08:57 PM
Banjer 21 Jul 99 - 11:28 PM
GutBucketeer 21 Jul 99 - 11:45 PM
Max 21 Jul 99 - 11:50 PM
Max 21 Jul 99 - 11:52 PM
Tom on Comfort 22 Jul 99 - 01:52 AM
katlaughing 22 Jul 99 - 12:53 PM
annamill 22 Jul 99 - 01:04 PM
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Subject: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 12:51 AM

a) DON'T post to them
b) see a)


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Dale Rose
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 01:51 AM

Well, if you hadn't already said it, Dick, that is exactly what I was going to put here. Thank you for saying it.


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: O'Boyle
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 02:15 AM

I find if you don't add to them, they also have a tendency to disappear.

Rick


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: MudGuard
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 04:36 AM

c) if a) and b) are not applyable, don't post to them!


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 08:54 AM

Great point Dick, I have been very tempted to post my views on some of the recent unpleasant forums, but felt it would just be adding fuel to the fire. I am of Irish heritage and have some views on some of these issues, but I sure don't feel that this is the place to air them.

It will take some discipline on our part to avoid these threads, but let's not allow the 'Cat to turn into a forum for radicals.


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: gargoyle
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 09:32 AM

precisely, (i.e. the lesbian didn't stay around for long)


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Allan C.
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 09:55 AM

Please! Don't anyone swallow this bait!!!


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 10:00 AM

And you can also choose to not post to them.

I have often wondered if my news reader couldn't come with an "are you really sure you want to send that? Really really sure?" option. Or an obligatory 24-hour waiting period. I've had my news server go down as I was about to post something. Had to wait...re-read message, and asked myself "was I really going to send that!!??" There isn't much to prevent you saying something stupid here. In a face-to-face, a good friend will step on your toe, kick your shin under the table, or just tell you to put a sock in it.

I regret and apologize for any recent nastiness on my part. I love and respect this place and the people in it.


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Art Thieme
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 11:36 AM

Jeri, I second that!

Dick,or Joe---
Here's some thread creep: I tried to get 365 days of this forum forum to load and it crashed my computer twice. Then I tried to get into "Mudcat Help" & wasn't able to get in.

What I'm looking for is this: the old thread on John F. Kennedy--his times and the assassination---the one where I posted so many songs from my JFK sr. collection. I have a grand little song about John jr. that Malvina Reynolds wrote after the president's funeral. I thought it would be appropriate to add it to the other songs...

Art


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Susan of DT
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 08:57 PM

Art - 365 days would be too much for many computers. We added a bunch of JFK songs that should show up when the April edition makes it to the site. Max promised that it would be up any day.


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Banjer
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 11:28 PM

Seems to me that the best way to stop unpleasant threads is to not post unpleasant thoughts! Like my mamma told me when I was comin' up, "If ya have nothing nice to say, say nothing!" Kinda kept that in the back of my mind as I journeyed through life and it seems to work!


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: GutBucketeer
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 11:45 PM

You can say that again Banjer. In another thread I made a statement without really thinking of how it would sound. Next thing, I know it's read by someone, who passes it along and adds to it, and it snowballs, and there is a reply. AND I FEEL REALLY STUPID and ashamed to be the cause of it all. SO, "If ya have nothing nice to say, say nothing!". If you have to say something send a private message.

I have learned my lesson!

JAB


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Max
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 11:50 PM

Art, it may work using the Filter. If you remember a word or words in the thread name, put it in the filter blank and do 365 days and it may very well work. Let me try...


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Max
Date: 21 Jul 99 - 11:52 PM

This it Art? http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=4000&messages=14


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: Tom on Comfort
Date: 22 Jul 99 - 01:52 AM

I think it was Tom Robbins who wrote something like, "make sure the words you speak are sweet, for someday you may have to eat them." Sounds like a good practice to me.

Be of good cheer--Tom


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Jul 99 - 12:53 PM

I think Cara said it best in the So long to Shambles thread:

I have been avoiding the fray here for te past week or so, but I am alarmed by the exits of so many from our ranks. Shambles, I am terribly sorry to see you go and hope that you'll reconsider sooner rather than later. Your thoughtful presence will be deeply missed.

As for the rest, I think it's shameful that we've come to a place where we're even considering censoring the forum (beyond what Joe and others already do with spam, etc). We are all in charge of what this forum is, and of what it becomes. Those of you who want to see more music threads, start the threads yourselves and your like-minded fellow Catters will join right in. If you want it, make it happen. And although it's been said many times, many ways, if you don't like the content of a thread, DON'T CONTRIBUTE. It really is that simple. But others have the right to start whatever thread they wish, until Max says differently. As has been noted elsewhere, the thing about free speech is that sooner or later someone will say something you don't like. All of us must accept that, and get on with it.

As for the flaming, which has been horrible to witness, we really do just have to ignore it and hope it goes away. That thing your mama told you about making bullies go away by refusing to act scared holds true here as well; you give people power by reacting to them. Take away the reaction, take away the power. That's hard here, because to leave nastiness unchallenged is counterintuitive; we want to defend ourselves, and our friends, and our forum. Or to extend the olive branch, when possible. But this community shouldn't be all-inclusive, necessarily; we have the right to exclude people when their bad energy outweighs their good.

I don't believe that we need to re-configure the Cat, or twist ourselves inside out wondering why some are unhappy. Just disengage from the flaming, stay away from the politics threads if they're giving you ulcers, and post threads on the topics that you want to discuss instead of feeling all bitter that no one else is. Some people are never going to see eye to eye; they can civilly agree to disagree on the threads, and take the personal attacks to the personal messages or face the censure of the group. That's cenSURE, as opposed to cenSOR. Now is the time to keep on keepin' on. This place needs to remain the best forum on the net. We will weather this storm.

Love to you all,

Cara


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Subject: RE: Ways to stop unpleasant threads
From: annamill
Date: 22 Jul 99 - 01:04 PM

Damn good job,Cara. I truely don't understand why Shambles is leaving. He is one of us. So sorry to see him leave.

annap


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