From the new "Out of Towners" with Steve Martin & Goldie Hawn comes this gem, "We're from Ohio. We don't talk about sex in public. It's like our state motto."

From Bowfinger, "I may be from Ohio, but I'm not really from Ohio!"

The other two flicks mentioned were a new version of The Thomas Crown Affair with Pierce Brosnan and another called "B(something, can't read my handwriting) Palaces.

Enjoy!

katlaughing

Okay, so we do have some Ahian things to be proud of. Columbus, the state capital is the largest college town in the world....home to Ohio State University. People have a great antipathy, more like hatred, for Michigan there and refer to it as the "State up North" ala the late Woody Hayes, OSU's legendary football coach. Woody was also legendary for kicking the crap out of a Clemson player and an ABC cameraman on National TV! The rivalry between OSU and the Univ. of Michigan resulted at one point in an OSU student plastering his VW with bumper stickers that said "FUCK MICHIGAN." He was arrested, but the judge ruled that this was not obscene as it reflected community sentiment. What can I say?

Ohio (natively pronounced Ahia --[uh-hi-uh]) is claimed as home by 7 former Presidents, all of whom were either total morons or complete jackasses and too often both. It must be the air as Ohio is also the home to assorted other eccentrics like John Brown, the abolitionist, most noted for the religious fervor of his views which although right and righteous, were carried to the insane through his personal lunacy.

Ah the Buckeye State---nicknamed for an inedible and toxic nut from a tree of virtually worthless and inconsistent wood with a bad smell. Home to the Cuyahoga River which caught fire in the mid 60's and could not be extinguished...just had to let that industrial waste burn itself out...flowing into our Great Lake......Yes, Erie......Shallowest of all the Great Lakes and once inhabited by the ever fun loving lamprey and now the lair of 974 Bejillion Zebra Mussels.

Then there are the inventors and innovators. Like Edison, who thought DC current was the way to go. Hoover vacuums were invented here and are still headquartered here lending credence to those who say this state sucks. And of course we are the birthplace of the Poland China Hog which produces more bacon/sidemeat than others and contributed to the reputation of the Cleveland Clinic as a leader in the treatment of heart disease. How about the Wright brothers, who took a look around their native Dayton and said, "Let's go fly this sucker in North Carolina." It's understandable.....have any of you ever been to Dayton? Good Christ, what a rathole!!! Then there's Proctor and Gamble in Cincy who had there first major success through a mistake. Seems the soap cooker fell asleep and cooked a batch too long and into a foamy mess that floated to the top of the vat. They were about to float the whole blob down the Ohio River when someone noticed that it was very decent soap, it was just hard to pour into bars and the damn stuff floated! Enter an Ad Man and the rest is history.

Yes, we're quite a state.....and if I catch anyone making cracks about it, there'll be some ass-kickin'.

catspaw :+)

--seed

kat

You forgot to mention that Cleveland was the home of Chrissie Hinde, one of my rocknroll heartthrobs. It is a town that smells of sulphur and diesel fuel, or have they cleaned it up?

I skiied my very first time at Snowtrails in Mansfield, 375 vertical feet of sheer ice and mud. I wore brand new Levis, and left blue streaks all over the hill where I fell. But I digress..

LEJ

The exile's lament. Don't forget that Ohio is also the birthplace of Smucker's, makers of sugared fruit for bread. It also baoasts the highest number of people who can spell "Schembechler", the former football coach of the team from that state up North. Certainly more good spellers than Militiagan. (God I hope I spelled that right-but if not, remember, I'm an expat.) It also had a running claim on "Amusement Park Capitol of the World" until some deal fell through. And, my friends who watch daytime TV tell me that Ohio fields more guests for Jerry, Sally Jessy and the rest of the gang than eny other state in the Union. Could be because Jerry Springer was mayor of the fair city of Cincinnati (which would have the largest zoo in the world if the state would approve funds to fence Kentucky) until his reputation was sullied by bouncing a check to a hooker. Keep that checkbook balanced, kids! Plus, Klinger was from Toledo.

(We also have a long tradition of insulting our bordering states but it's all in good fun, my Kentucky and Michigan buddies. I conscientiously avoided West Virginia.)

Of course here in sunny California, we think of everything east of the Mississippi as one poor county with New York in the middle and everything else squished together. Sometimes we think of an arm sticking down called Flordia, but mostly not.

The very best part of Ohio, its about 2000 miles from here.

-Fadac

*In a response I've written to Fadac I'm worried about spelling? BTW, Ralph, Sonja and I missed all you guys last week: you, your biker-babe, Dave the Phartin' Phireman, and the lovely PJ (who failed to make it to my group's party a couple of weeks ago).

Ohio also seems to produce a large # of pycho types. Dahmer lived here,and that guy that shot up a McDonalds in San Ysidro about 1980 was from here, and a bunch of other loose wires. They usually leave Ohio, go somewhere else and go postal or psycho. Maybe it's BECAUSE they left Ohio. So, I'm staying right here!

Actually Ohio is a very pretty state, in most places. You can be driving thru PA or IN and tell when you get into Ohio just by the way things look. It's prettier.

Overseas, most folks are familiar with James Thurber and O.Henry, both Ohioans.

And FWIW, buckeye nuts are edible, just not very tasty. They are a type of chestnut, similar to horsechestnuts. And the wood is beautiful, but not used very often. I don't know why.

Ohio is also part the North Coast of the United States. Look it up on a map.

Rex

So Gitarzan...Where are you at? We've got damn few Ahians around here. Poor Cara, from Newark, (read:Nyirk) now lives in D.C. (I think?) but so far hasn't shot up anything.....as far as I know. But she does need to come home.

Peter---You're certainly right about the Cleveland Symphony. And Cleveland has really "cleaned up their act" in the past ten years with a lot of downtown renovations. But don't put too much stock in Toledo.

A Saturday night in Toledo, Ohio
Is like being nowhere at all.
All thru the day, how the hours rush by,
You sit in the park
And you watch the grass die.
Ah but after the sunset, the dusk, and the twilight,
When shadows of night start to fall.
They roll up the sidewalks precisely at 10,
And people who live there are not seen again!
Just two lonely truckers from Great Falls, Montana
And a salesman from places unknown [places unknown].
All huddled together in downtown Toledo
To spend their big night all alone.

You ask how I know of Toledo, Ohio,
Well I spent two weeks there one day.
They've got entertainment to boggle your eyes,
Just visit the bakery and watch the buns rise.
Let's not forget that the folks of Toledo
Unselfishly gave us the scale.
"No Springs, Honest Weight" that's the promise they made.
So smile and be thankful next time you get weighed!
Wiv and wet wiv and may this be our motto
And let's let sleeping dogs lie ['ping dogs lie].
So here's to the dogs of Toledo, Ohio,
Ladies we bid you goodbye.

Actually the problem with Toledo is that it's part of a border dispute with Michigan.....They won't take it.

catspaw

P.S. Didn't Archie Bunker once describe California as the "Land of Fruits and Nuts?"

I've learned stuff I never knew about Ohio on this thread. Not enough to convince mne to move home, but i am coming to visit for the longest stretch in years. And you're right, 'SPAW, DC has not(yet)corrupted me. But it hasn't killed me, either, as I was warned it would when I left home right after high school.

One true thing I always say about Ohio: it's a great place to be FROM.

I love the Buckeye State. But seriously, aren't there a lot of crazy people and daytime talk show guests from OH? And we are on the North Coast. Convenient, so that we can take over Canada when we run out of clean water.

So am I gonna' get to meet you when you're home? BTW, you mentioned the Cincy zoo......Don't forget what Jack Hanna has done with Columbus. Ol' "Jungle Jack" made a name for himself in the process as the new Marlon Perkins replacement, but he did do a tremendous job with the zoo here. Columbus was the first zoo park approved to get manatees outside of Florida and also the first to get delivery...we have 4. Cincy tried to get their tank done first, but while it was under construction, they had a fire which destroyed the exhibit.....only in Ohio are you going to have a fire in an aquarium!

And speaking of stealing stuff from the Canajuns.....Don't forget Dave Thomas (Wendy's, based in Columbus) stole Tim Horton's Donuts from them, although I'm not sure why.

Seriously, let me know when you'll be here, I'd love to meet you! Although you, on the other hand, probably have serious misgivings (if so, a lot of other Catters will support you).

catspaw

I'd love to meet, if I can swing it car-wise (I'd have to borrow one). I'll follow up with you when I know more.

...but first, another Ohio milestone: THE LARGEST BASKET IN THE WORLD!!! yes, in my hometown. It's an office building, cleverly disguised to look like a mutant Longaberger basket. It's HUGE. It's an abomination. It's impossible to miss. It was in People magazine, but for the true effect, you gotta see it live.

On your way to see the Degas, perhaps....

I love the Columbus zoo, BTW. Jack Hanna, too. I'm about the same age as his daughter, and when she had leukemia it was always on the news and I remember following it avidly. So I feel like I've known Jack forever.

...And the basket! I have some pictures of that on my other PC, I'll UL it my website and post the URL later. It's really odd. A seven story building that's shaped likea big picnic basket.

Tim Hortons and Wendy's is a joint venture. I can't complain about that. I love them "Dutchies" and the chocolate walnut doughnuts.

Buckeyes are similar to Horse Chestnuts, but there are differences. The nut and husk have some minor differences, and the leaves of the Horse Chestnut is cigar shaped and leaves the branch in kind of a star cluster. A Buckeye leaf has a shape kind of like short necktie with the wide part at the end, rather than in the middle. It's leaves come off of the branch in a more of linear, rather than a star pattern. The Horse Chestnut is much prettier and the Ohio State University "Buckeyes" actually use a picture of Horse Chestnuts on it's logo due to the fact that it looks much nicer. Imagine, if Hioans chose Horse chestnuts instead of buckeyes as their symbol, we could sit at OSU games and instead of shouting, "Let's go Bucks!" we 'd be hollering , "Let's go Horse 'nuts!"

BTW, I grew up in Reynoldsburg...graduated '67.

catspaw

Didn't Cols. used to have a hockey team called the Seals? That would have been a better name.

BTW, Catspaw49, Brookhaven HS '72, here.

In Sugar Creek (say "Shugrr Crick"), Ohio (birthplace of my paternal grandparents) resides the world's largest:

CUCKOO CLOCK!!!!!!

WHY?!!!!

You can walk inside of it. I wonder if this is just a Midwest thing, making buildings in odd odd odd shapes. No one else is unsophisticated enough to have the audacity, I guess. Hurray for the brave if misguided Midwesterners!

Nikki

Sugar Creek was a predominantly Swiss community, hence the clock. I played HD at the Swiss Cheese Fest there several years ago and also played a 150 year old HD from their museum.

But we do build some strange ass buildings....I mean, we put the foundation for the dome on the state capitol building...we just never built the dome. Damn thing has a flat roof. Real impressive huh? And now that friggin' basket building that Longaberger's built.............Ya' know I'm glad this isn't the home of Trojan condoms.........

Spaw

Ronald Reagan is from Illinois, not Ohio, but in philosophy and competence he resembled the Ohio presidents. They are Grant, Hayes, Garfield (that's three straight), Benjamin Harrison (who spent most of his life in Indiana), McKinley, Taft, and Harding, after whom the country wised up.

Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders is from Akron, not Cleveland. She wrote the classic Ohio song "My City was Gone" about her home town. The band Devo was from Akron too.

Other famous Ohioans include John D. Rockefeller, Sr., John Glenn, Neil Armstrong, Tracy Chapman, and Bone Thugs & Harmony. An Ohioan who should be famous was James Wright, one of my favorite poets (and really an Ahian, from Martin's Ferry, no less). In one of my brushes with greatness, Molly Shannon of Saturday Night Live and I grew up four houses away from each other.

Thanks to Gitarzan for straightening out the horse-chestnut-vs-buckeye question. Neither one is closely related to the tasty chestnuts.

'Spaw, I don't remember what Archie Bunker said. The joke I've heard about California is that it's like granola--once you get through the nuts and fruits, there's nothing left but the flakes.

Will anyone flying to Cleveland please come to the ticket counter and explain why?

Say, is Joel Mavis's Hopelessly Midwestern on the database? I recommend it. If it isn't I'll post the lyrics.

Spaw

Jerry, who has nothing against unions and is prepared to accept the consequences

Thing about Ohio is that its cities belie its true heart, which is found in a seemingly endless list of small towns scattered about its interior.

Like Zoar, one time home of the Zoarites, a religious communal society. They segregated living arrangements by gender (all but the leader and his wife-fancy that) and followed a policy of strict celibacy for all for the first decade of the communities exsistence. Reasoned that they couldn't waste time and energy on sex and children until the settlement was well established. Somehow the movement ran into trouble keeping up its population. Imagine that.

Then there's Bucyrus, the bratwurst captital of the midwest.

Then there are the fairly extensive Amish and Mennonite communities.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Worlds largest college town notwithstanding, it is a very fundamentalist, and very conservative state.

Akron, once the rubber city, has become the Televangelism Capital of America, having spawned both Rex Humbard AND Ernest Angeley. Story about Humbard. Like his slick haired bretheren, he tried to build one of his own ostentatious cathedrals outside Akron. The plans included a central tower with a rotating restaurant and observation deck ala the Niagra Falls Skylon. Well they built the central pillar only to find that a) they had run out of money, b) the design of the tower was flawed and they couldn't put the top on the thing anyway, and c) they couldn't tear it down without destroying the already completed cathedral, office, and restaurant complexes it was built over. You have to see this thing to understand what an eyesore it is. A round, grey-brown concrete pillar, the size of a large smokestack, with some bare girders protruding from the top. The thoroughly chagrined locals have taken to calling it Rex's Erection, with very little fondness, even though it now belongs to Earnest, who bought Rex out.

In all fairness, Ohio is also the cradle of a great deal of traditional music, especially songs about river and canal life, and life on the Great Lakes Shipping lanes. Its also where Johnathan Chapman did a great deal of his life's work.

And most don't realize it, but at the time it was coined, the phrase 'Go west young man', was not about crossing the Mississippi, but an admonition to go find your fortune in Ohio. Like most, I'm still looking.

Sorry 'bout your car Mick, but you gotta' remember that a Judge in Columbus ruled that bumper stickers saying "Fuck Michigan" were not obscene and reflected community sentiment. What can I say..........

And re: the tired old state to state jokes. I'm always amazed that every state uses them against another since there is enough personalized insanity and eccentricity within each state that they're hardly needed!

Spaw

And Mick, where did you run 250 from? Curious I guess...I had thought of meeting you somewhere along to send Cleigh with you and we went camping just off 250!!!

Spaw