I brought Miss Linda Lee To see a fancy ball The ticket i bought was two and sixpence I thought that was all But when she asked for supper You might have knocked me down For all the money I had in the world Was only a half-a-crown.

A dozen raw potato slaw, a chicken and a roast,
Asparagrass and apple sauce, with soft-shell crab on toast,
An Irish stew and dumplings too. Her appetite made me frown.
When she called for pie, I thought I’d die, when I had but a half a crown.

You bet I wasn't hungry. I didn't care to eat.
I've got money in my clothes; the best, they can't be beat.
She took things so easy, you'd think I owned a bank.
She said she wasn't thirsty, but this is what she drank:

A glass of ale, a gin cocktail. It made me shake with fear.
A ginger pop with rum on top, and then a jug of beer,
A whisky stein, a glass of wine. She sure could drink it down.
When she called for more, I fell on the floor, for I had but a half a crown.

You bet I wasn't hungry. I didn't care to eat,
Expecting any moment to be kicked out in the street.
She said she'd bring her friends around someday and we'd have fun.
When I showed the man my two and six, this is what he done:

He smashed my nose. He tore my clothes. He hit me on the head,
Grabbed me by the collar then 'till I was nearly dead.
He caught me where my pants hung loose. He turned me upside down.
Take my advice. Don’t try it twice, when you've got but a half a crown.

Annoying superfluous capitalization deleted. --JoeClone, 21-Apr-02.

Ian

I HAD BUT FIFTY CENTS
Cat. #0347 (MFH #274)
As sung by Mrs. Pearl Brewer in Pocahontas, Arkansas on May 27, 1959

I took my girl to a fancy ball
I thought we'd have some fun
I'll tell you guys, to my surprise
This is what she done
I took her into a cafetery
To give her a treat
She said, she wasn't hungry
But this is what she eat
A dozen raws, a plate of slaw
Chicken and some shrimp
She called for pie, I thought I'd die
For I had but fifty cents

VERSE 2
She stepped up to the fountain
Before that I could think
She said, she wasn't thirsty
But this is what she drank
A bottle of pop with rum on top
Coffee and some tea
Ginger ale, I sure looked pale
For this was killing me
She said, she'd bring her family around
And we would have some fun
I handed him the fifty cents
An' this is what he done
He mashed my nose, he tore my clothes
He rolled me in the floor
He give me the prize of two black eyes
An' kicked me out at the door
He took me where my clothes hung loose
An' threw me over the fence
Take my advice and don't buy twice
When you got but fifty cents

I HAD BUT FIFTY CENTS
Cat. #0687 (MFH #274) –
As sung by Max Hunter, Springfield, Missouri on February 9, 1969

VERSE 1
I took my girl to a dance one night
Was a social hop
We danced until the lights went out
An' the music had to stop
I took her to a restaurant
The finest in the state
She said she wasn't hungry
But this is what she ate
A dozen raw, a plate of slaw
A chicken and a roast
Some applesass, and aparagrass
Soft-shell crabs on toast
A box of stew, and cracker too
Her appetite was immense
When she asked for pie
I thought I'd die
For I had but fifty cents

VERSE 2
She said she wasn't hungry
And didn't care to eat
But I've got money in my clothes
To bet she can't be beat
She took it in so cozy
She had an awful tank
She said she wasn't thirsty
But this is what she drank
A whiskey skin, a glass of gin
Which made me shake with fear
A ginger pop, with rum on top
A schooner then of beer
A glass of ale, a gin cocktail
She should have had more sense
When she called for more
I fell on the floor
For I had fifty cents

VERSE 3
Of course I wasn't hungry
And didn't care to eat
Expecting every moment
To be kicked out in the street
She said she'd fetch her family 'round
Some night, an' we'd have fun
When I gave the man fifty cents
This is what he done
He tore my clothes
He smashed my nose
He hit me in the jaw
He gave me a prize
Of a two black eyes
And with me swept the floor
He took me o'er the fence
Take my advice,
Don't try it twice
If you've got but fifty cents

From the Library of Congress American Memory Collection - my transcription from the sheet music:

FIFTY CENTS
(Words, Billy Mortimer. Music, Dan Lewis, 1881.)

I took my girl to a fancy ball. It was a social hop.
We stayed until the folks went out and the music it did stop.
Then to a restaurant we went, the best one on the street.
She said she was not hungry, but this is what she eat:
A dozen raw, a plate of slaw, a chicken and a roast,
Some sparrow grass with apple sass, and soft-shell crabs on toast,
A big box stew with crackers, too. Her hunger was immense.
When she called for pie, I thought I'd die, for I had but fifty cents.

She said so sweet that she was not well and did not care to eat.
Now I have money in my clothes that says she can't be beat.
I asked her what she'd have to drink. She's got an awful tank.
She said she was not thirsty, but this is what she drank:
A glass of gin, a whiskey skin. It made me shake with fear.
Some ginger-pop with rum on top, a schooner, then, of beer,
A glass of ale, a gin cocktail. She ought to have had more sense.
When she called for more, I dropped on the floor, for I had but fifty cents.

I told her that my head did ache and I did not care to eat,
Expecting every moment to get kicked into the street.
She said she'd bring her fam'ly round some day and have some fun.
I gave the clerk the fifty cents and this is what he done:
He smashed my nose and tore my clothes and hit me in the jaw.
He put my eyes in mourning deep and with me swept the floor.
He grabbed me where my pants were loose and kicked me o'er the fence.
Take my advice: don't try it twice when you have but fifty cents.

[There is a similar version in DigiTrad..]

~Masato

A dozen raw with a plate of slaw and a fancy Boston roast,
A big box stew with crackers too and a soft crab on toast.
Then next she tried some oysters fried. Her appetite was immense.
When she yelled for pie, I thought I'd die, for I had but fifty cents.

Brandy and gum and a big hot rum and a schooner of lager beer.
Three whisky skins and a couple of gins did quickly disappear.
With a bottle of ale and a gin cocktail, she astonished all the gents.
I fell on the floor when she called for more, for I had but fifty cents.

He broke my nose. He tore my clothes. He shook me out of breath.
I took the prize for two black eyes. He clubbed me half to death,
Gave me no chance but made me dance and he fired me over the fence.
Take my advice: don't try it twice, when you've got but fifty cents.