 sj |
||
|
||
A Computer Joke for Mudcatters
|
|
|
|||||||
|
A Computer Joke for Mudcatters |
Share Thread
|
||||||
|
Subject: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: Ian Kirk, Kent, England Date: 20 Dec 98 - 01:12 PM At a recent computer expo., Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For unknown reasons, your car would crash twice per day. 2. Every road repainting would require purchase of new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just adjust, accept, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size gluteus maximus, so pity the small or the large. 9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before deploying. 10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out refusing to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department. 12. Each time GM introduced a new model, car buyers must learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as those in the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut the car down.
Merry Xmas |
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: Helen Date: 20 Dec 98 - 08:14 PM Ian, I think that just about says it all. Thanks. All those little frustrations in computer usage add up to one big headache when this comparison is made. Merry Christmas etc to you too Helen
|
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: Barbara Date: 21 Dec 98 - 01:24 AM Let me tell you about a strange experience I had. This afternoon when I clicked on this thread, instead of the usual thread description and list, I got only the Mudcat Cafe Header and a blank page... So I sat here and waited, and waited... ...and I thought THAT was the Mudcat joke. Oops, look, click on it and NOTHING happens. That's my Mudcat. Sometimes I can't tell my vitual from my reality. Blessings, Barbara |
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: Webby Date: 21 Dec 98 - 06:58 AM Good one Ian and a Merry Christmas to you |
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: Zorro Date: 21 Dec 98 - 07:33 AM If only it weren't so true.. Ouch and thanks. Z... |
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: Bert Date: 21 Dec 98 - 08:40 AM ...Sometimes I can't tell my vitual from my reality....
|
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: AndreasW Date: 21 Dec 98 - 09:59 AM Due to bug fixes caused by the year 2000 problem which took longer than expected but are solved now, Windows 2000 will be delayed till April 1, 1900 cu, Andreas |
|
Subject: RE: A Computer Joke for Mudcatters From: belter Date: 22 Dec 98 - 02:16 PM I came up with this snippit about bill gates to the tune of Old Nintieseven. Well they gave him his orders strait from Janet Reno They said not so fast bill This is not a web browser it is an oprerating system Market them sepretly I cant seem to get it to ryme, but its a start. |
| Share Thread: |