MERRY WHATEVER

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . .

and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 1999, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

Thanks (I think) for handing this over to us. If it didn't mention America I'd pass it on (in all sincerity *grin*) to my Oz mates. I tried mentally transposing the reference into an Oz reference but it just don't work. It just has to be "America".

Kind of reminds me of the scene in the first Superman movie. I saw it in a packed theatre and when Superman straight-facedly proclaimed that he was fighting for "truth, justice, and the American way", almost with his hand on his heart, everyone in the theatre groaned, in unison, as if in extreme pain.

I guess Aussies have a little more scepticism and humour about Oz, even though the majority of us probably think it's one of the best countries in the world to live in.

So, I reciprocate the felicitations for the season expressed so loquaciously in your missive.

Helen

Murray

You state that because you are not only from another country but also from another planet that you don't know why Superman decided to fight for the American way, don't worry I have the same problem.

love & happiness

Ritchie

I am quite happy and content to be an American,(usually..*wry smile*), but this internet thing sure has clarified to me how VERY much more there is to the world. So, despite the silliness of the initial post up there ^..I wish everyone, in all the parts of the world , the most joyous and peaceful holiday season possible from one old music-loving curmudgeon in Maryland, USA.

(funny thing is, I grew up in Kansas, and I always thought OZ was right near there..it only took Dorothy a few minutes to get there,.*grin*..now, it seems, it is!)

Happy Christmas everyone.

Pete M

PS thanks for the original post Bill, I'll make sure it reaches the right quarters in NZ.

Live and learn (if you keep your eyes, ears, and mind open).

Peace,

Roger in Baltimore

Mo

This past year has (for me) been brightened considerably by the good company which meets here. I have greatly enjoyed the good-natured kidding, the honest sharing, the comradeship, and nurturing. I thank you all for these great gifts. I very much look forward to more of the same in the coming year. Bless you, everyone!

alice in montana (where it was -27 f. yesterday)

Yours in politically correct concern, Peter T.

Steve, Sue, Tim, Beckie and Merlin the Hamster

For more convincing see this posting from Alice.

Roger in Baltimore

I took my sweetie down to the American River tonight to see the sunset. Being a native Californian, she was amazed to see ice on the calm spots of the river, and she had to go down and inspect. She fell in. I really tried hard to be sympathetic and stifle the laughter, but I wasn't very successful. She was a good sport about it.

'T'was the Night Before Christmas'

(...as written by a technical writer for a firm that does Gov't contracting.)

T'was the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Musmusculus.

Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.

My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller.

With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry by way of the smoke passage.

He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.

His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry.

His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container.

He was, in short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenerian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless.

Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aformentioned appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle.

Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hither to observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed.

But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility:

"Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn."

I am outraged at the imperialist notion that there is any other "America" than the United States of....

As the gender-and-species-neutral spokes-entity for Canadians (ok, self-appointed) I'd like to reassure all of you with a zip code in your address that we really don't want to be "Americans too." (That's why we live here not there). Notwithstanding the continent we live on, no other country in this hemisphere, to my knowledge, has "america" in its name. (Go ahead, prove me wrong.) We're in the Dominion of Canada, not the Canadian Provinces of America. It may be quaint and stodgy but thats us.

A certain well-regarded American folk music ensemble came to our quaint little town of Perth Ontario (the town motto is "Make Haste Slowly", and I'm not kidding) a couple of years ago, and in their zeal to not offend Canadians, started referring to themselves as "South American". There were no South Americans present to clarify the situation to them.

Happy Christmas Hannukkah Ramadan Solstice & Shopping Blowout Everybody!

Me & mine are off to South America tomorrow: Brattleboro Vermont.

Patriot without a clue

Bill