THE BIG KILMARNOCK BUNNET

1.
It's only noo I've left the ploo, says I to fermer Broon,
"The money I hae earned wad ye kindly lay it doon,
For I'm awa' to Glesca toon, this verra day at the back o' noon,
I've been a gawkie lang enough in the country."

[CHORUS:] Wi' my big Kilmarnock bunnet, as I hurried to the train,
I'll ne'er forget the joke was played on me by Saundy Lane,
Says he, "When ye get to Glesca toon, spier oot for Katy Bain, my loon,
She lives in number Aichty Street in Glesca."

2.
Noo when I got to Glesca toon, the first yin I did meet,
I asked him very kindly, wad he show me Aichty Street?
Says he, "Do ye tak me for a mug?" and then he gied me a skelp on the lug,
Says he, "My man, ye'll meet yer match in Glesca."

3.
I met up wi a lassie then, dressed in a strippet frock.
She keekit up into my face, and said, "Hello there, Jock!
Yer big Kilmarnock's aff the plumb, come on and staund me a hauf o' rum,
Is this yer very firsten time in Glesca?"

4.
Noo she introduced me to her friend; if thon was Katy Bain,
I only hope I never shall see or hear o' her like again;
She left me in my drawers and shirt, my big Kilmarnock smeared wi' dirt,
To wander through the muckle streets o' Glesca.

5.
But that's no a' my story, for I;'ve mair to tell beside.
The nicht bein' dark and me bein' fou, I fell into the Clyde;
A polisman cam' and ran me in, he swore he saw me loupin' in,
And I was jiled for thirty days in Glesca.

[Got from a librarian in Hamilton, Lanarkshire, 1958.]
[There are slight variations in another text--e.g. "Aichty" [=80] is "Auchty." There is no such street in Glasgow. "Lives" is "bides," 3.4 has "Is this the very first time ye've been in Glesca?"]

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 21-May-02.