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­BLL1CK
 Supercali-fragilistic-expi-cunnilingus
(Llewtrah)
Sticks and stones will break my bones but whips and chains excite me;
 BDSM is the thing, I like to do it nightly.
 Use the handcuffs, blindfold me, please rope and tie me tightly.
Sticks and stones will break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
 Lovely Jane is into pain; she has a sister Doris.
 Doris is a piercing fan with studs in her clitoris.
 My Prince Albert meshed with it, the medics had to saw it.
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but personally I'm for it!
 They roped me to the bedpost once and tied the knots seccurely.
 Doris gave the cane to Jane, they looked at me demurely.
They started feeling with my studs and with my penile jewelry;
Whips and chains will lacerate and give me bruises luridly.
 I went courting Doris once and took to her some flowers;
We went to bed, she gave me head, and kept it up for hours.
 Then she said, "It's your turn dear, I'd like some golden showers!
Shit tastes just like Camembert, now eat it up you coward."
 Jane is made of skin and bone, looks like Callista Flockhart,
 But every time she swings her whip, she makes my manhood rock hard.
 She's got more electric prods than abattoirs or stockyards.
 I ask her not to bite too hard in case she leaves my cock scarred.
All sorts of torture things have they, devices antiquated;
They left me tied up on the rack and then they masturbated.
 I had to watch them have their fun until theey both were sated,
 Unable to join in with them, it left me quite frustrated.
 They didn't free me for some time, I had pent up frustration;
 My manhood started throbbing then, just in anticipation.
They said, "We do it all ourselves, female emancipation."
 Till finally they cut my ropes, demanding copulation.
 Chorus: Um-diddle-diddle-diddle, um-diddle-eye
Super-callous-flagellistic-expect-cunnilingus;
Queers like to take it up the bum from dildoes, dicks, or fingers;
Lesbians like their tonguing slow to make the climax linger;
But super-callous-flagellistic-expect-cunnilingus.
My fat Auntie Ethel was into suits of rubber,
 Then she met the Michelin Man and took him as a lover,
But they used a diesel tube for enemas on each other,
 The explosion rocked the city hall and covered it in blubber.
 I dated a super-model once, once I barely got a hard-on,
Her legs were way too skinny and her knockers had no lard on,
 I asked if she'd felate please, she said "I beg your pardon,
Cum's fifty calories a go, I've starved my way to stardom!"
 Cousin Susie she likes sex, but she prefers it oral,
Her cunt has got its own bouquet, you wouldn't call it floral,
Though some would say it is a sin, she says it it's not immoral,
And when she comes she sings out loud and sings your praises choral.
Uncle John likes whips and knives and ladies to disfigure,
Auntie Kath liked to be tied and whipped with bamboo canes or wicker,
 She said, "Whip me, whip me, and make me writhe and slither,"
 He said, "No, I'll tickle you, that will make my dick get stiffer."
 Uncle Jim is into quim, but would rather be fellated,
 And when a girl goes down on him he always feels elated,
His brother Joe, he likes a blow, but is more innovative,
 He bought himself a milk-machine and now he's always sated.
 To help him with his impotence, Fred turned to modern science,
His wife got so excited when she saw his new appliance,
 Living with a nymphomaniac is fun but very hectic,
His penile implant stimulator runs from mains electric!
 Cousin Tommy had a boy aged twelve but quite precocious,
Every time he licked his bum it gave him halitosis,
 Each time he farted in Tom's face it makes him rather nauseous,
 Tom wore a rubber on his tongue, now that's what I call cautious!
 Uncle Cyril, we always knew, was into brown hattery,
He stuck a dildo up his boyfriend's bum with lots of beer and flattery,
 "Take it out and I'll give you dick," he said quite matter of factly,
 "Oh no, please don't take it out but kindly change the battery!"
Uncle Albert had a dream of saving fallen women,
He took to it with fervour and he made it his life mission,
 He liked to save them in a way the Lord did not envision,
 Now his serving fifty years and gets butt-fucked in prison.
 Leather-wearing dykes on bikes are perfectly delicious,
 And when they're served up properly, they're really quite nutritious.
 Watch out for your manhood 'cause they also can be vicious
And watch for the local cops in case they get suspicious.
 Mary Jane looks like a man but on little girls she's keener,
Thought she'd take a virgin home and try to get between her,
The virgin said, "Oh no please sir, I don't know where it's been, sir,"
 Mary Jane said, "It is factory fresh," and introduced a wiener.
 Uncle Bob could never let a girl slip through his fingers,
Sticks his fist up to the wrist, but the aroma lingers,
 The girls all say that Uncle Bob he is a cunning linguist,
He says the juices that he sucks work like a good cough linctus.
My brother Gerald, he pumps iron at the local weights gym
 Some people said his pecker looked just like another limb,
It didn't get so big and long from all his iron pumping,
He tied a cord around it once and then went bungee jumping!
 The super heroes had an orgy, all their dicks were throbbing,
 Spiderman was butt-fucking Batman's toy-boy Robin,
Superwoman and Wonderwoman both ripped off their girdles
Got on their knees and dog fucked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
 The Disney cartoons had a bash, they all went down on Mickey,
 Minnie gave him mouth to mouse, it got a little tricky.
 'Cos Donald Duck wanted to fuck and Goofy got a quickie,
And Cinderella had to make do with a plastic dickie.
SUPER-SADO-MASOCHISTIC-ALSO-FLAGELLATION
Chorus: Super-sado-masochistic-also-flagellation,
 Different sets of manacles to suit all occasions,
 Whips and spurs and crops and canes cause bruises and abrasions,
But super-sado-masochistic-also-flagellation,
 Um-diddle-diddle-diddle, Um-diddley-aye
 Masochists like to be flogged, chained and humiliated,
Tortured with devices that are very antiquated,
 Locked in dungeons, gagged and bound and left to suffer naked,
The trick's to bend an arm or leg but never actually break it.
Sadists like to carry whips, cause bruises, cuts and gashes;
Like to sentence masochists to several hundred lashes.
Tie them up in straps and chains, pluck toenails and eyelashes;
 They get aerobic workouts when delivering the thrashes.
 Um-diddle-diddle-diddle, Um-diddle-aye
Sado-masochistic pairs use pain as part of passion;
 Get their thrills from when blood spills in an unseemly fashion.
They expect their acts of sex to be acts of aggression;
 They could give most torturers some very expert lessons.
Masochists enjoy the pain, they say it brings great pleasure;
 Tie them up and prick their skin or beat them at your leisure.
To be beaten black and blue is something that they treasure,
While wrapped up like old King Tut in bandages or leather.
Sadists like to use their fists or scratch or gouge or pummel,
Force feed their partners excrement using a half-pint funnel.
 When their partners shout out 'stop', that's when they start the fun, so,
 Thats when they will up the pace until the sadist comes, oh.
Sadists like to inflict pain, it heightens their enjoyment;
 Masochists enjoy the torture that is dealt out to them,
 By bondage or by being whipped with suitable implements,
Some like canes and other like pointed or blunt instruments.
Super sado-masochistic sexual relations,
Leather whips and nipple-clips can give intense sensations.
 Dominate and bind your mate for perfect titillation,
Super sado-masochistic sexual relations!
Super sado-masochistic sexual relations,
If you try them only once, there's sure to be frustrations.
 But if you try it long enough, you'll always find elation.
But super-sado-masochistic-also-flagellation,
 Super-sado-masochistic sexual relations,
Should you find that pleasure/pain's a welcome combination.
 Stay right where you are my dear, there will be satiation,
But super-sado-masochistic-also-flagellation.