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 The Landlord's Daughter
(llewtraH)
 He came upon a wayside inn,
Shat on the mat and walked right in.
 Oh landlord have you a daughter fair,
Lily-white tits and golden hair?
At last he got her on a bed,
 Shagged her till her cheeks were red,
And then he took her to the shed,
Shagged till she was nearly dead.
 He took her down a shady lane,
 Shagged her back to life again,
He shagged her up, he shagged her down,
He shagged her right around the town.
 He shagged her in, he shagged her out,
 He shagged her up the waterspout,
Seven months went and all was well,
Eight months went and she started to swell.
 Nine months went, she gave a grunt,
And a little white bastard popped out of her cunt,
 The little white bugger he grew and grew,
He shagged his mother and his sister too.
 The little white bugger he went to hell,
 He shagged the Devil and his wife as well.
 The Landlord's Daughter
(llewtraH)
Fragment picked up from "The Wicker Man".
 Much has been said of the strumpets of yore
Of wenches and bawdy house queens by the score,
But I sing of a baggage that we all adore
The landlord's daughter
You'll never love another,
 Although she's not the kind of girl
To take home -- to your mother
Her elixir is lively and strong to the taste,
It is brewed with discretion, never with haste,
You can have all you like if you swear not to waste
The landlord's daughter
And when her name is mentioned,
The puds of every gentleman
Will stand up -- at attention
 Now the shame of the blossom and all of the country
She takes off the garter and knickers in town,
 The dolly who keeps her cunt in renown/
While I'll take the landlord's daughter
There's nothing so delightful,
 As the part that lies between
The left toe -- and the right toe.