Drinks All Around
 Come on boys, drinks all around, we've had a real good supper.
If a man goes out with another man's girl, he's a fool if he doesn't--
Send his kids to college, send them to good schools,
And before they learn their ABC's, they are playing with their--
Tutor and his rabbits, which do what rabbits do,
Why he'd sit and watch for hours and hours, just to see the buggers--
 Sit upon piano, feeding from the bowl,
Crawling round the rabbit hutch, smelling each others--
 "O" stands for orange, "R" stands for rice,
 "F" stands for something else, it's naughty but it's nice.
I took my girl to the baseball game, to see the batters hit.
The first fly ball that came our way, it hit her in the--
 Teachers can be lovely, dancing on the grass,
 But when they kick their legs too high, you can see their lovely--
Ask the dean for supper, with all his family.
 If he won't come, then tickle his bum with a stalk of celery.
 Frisco is the place for me, fishing in the pool,
If I don't catch them with my line, I catch them with my--
Dainty little finger, so slender and so slim,
 I can get all five of them at once inside my girlfriend's--
 Pockets are so useful, when walking down the halls,
 If you can have some holes in them, you can fumble with you--
 Money, if you've got some; if not, then find some more.
 And you can spend the rest of it on some pretty little--
Turkish Bath and manicure to make you feel so smart;
Remembering in the social world, it's rude to let a--
 Swearword pass your lips, or walk in public humming;
For there are some in the social world that think it's worse than--
 Biting your nails in public or even in your class.
Bear in mind that waitresses have a very lovely--
 Titbits on their platters, so good you'll lick and scrape 'em.
And if they don't come willingly, don't hesitate to--
 Come and have a drink with me.
We'll end this song of mine.
I had a date at half past eight, and now it's half past nine.
 (Oscar Brand)