Ball Of Yarn
One fine day in May, I took a walk one day
 Down by my grandfather's farm.
 I met a pretty maid ad this is what I said,
"May I wanid up your little ball of yarn?"
In the merry month of June, when the roses were in bloom,
I chanced to take a walk around the farm.
I met a pretty miss, and I politely asked her this,
"Will you let me spin your little ball of yarn?"
I'm a gentleman of leisure, of nobility and pleasure,
With manners of the manor and the morals of the barn.
And when I met a lady in the forest green and shady,
 I asked if I could spin her ball of yarn.
 chorus: Ball of yarn, ball of yarn,
It was there I spun her little ball of yarn.
 Ball of yarn, ball of yarn,
It was there I spun her little ball of yarn.
When she gave me her consent, and behind the barn we went,
 I promised that I would do no harm.
Then I politely laid her down, and I rumpled up her gown,
It was there I spun her little ball of yarn.
She gave her kind consent and behind the bush we went,
 And I said, "My dear, there's no cause for alarm."
 So I laid her on the ground and with expertise so sound,
 I went on to spin her little ball of yarn.
"Oh no," says she to me, "you're a stranger, I can see,
And though I do admore your northern charm,
I prefer to let one of those, with the manners and the clothes,
To wind up my little ball of yarn.
I took her by the waist and gently laid her down,
Not meaning to do her any harm.
She looked up in my face, locker her leeegs around my waist,
 And says, "Wind up my little ball of yarn."
 She undressed before my sight, we went at it all that night,
 Her little frame was shaking stem to stern.
And the blackbird and the robin, watched her little butt a-bobbin',
It was there I spun her little ball of yarn.
I took this pretty maid, underneath the shade,
 Not intening to do her any harm.
 I took her by surprise, and I laid between her thighs.
 And I winded up her little ball of yarn.
She ten stood up, took her skirt from 'round her waist,
And she went happily skipping down the lane.
 I went skipping over the green, for fear I would be seen,
Winding up her little ball of yarn.
 This pretty maid she rose and she pulled on all her clothes,
 And straight to her grandmother she did run.
 And for me, I was not seen as I skipped across the green,
After winding up her little ball of yarn.
 It was two months after that, in the office where I sat,
 Never dreaming that she'd done me any harm,
A doctor dressed in white, said "Your pecker is a sight!
 It's been tangled in a little ball of yarn."
It was nine months after that, in a barroom where I sat,
 I felt a heavy hand upon my arm.
 And an officer in blue, said "Young man, I've come for you,
You're the father of a little ball of yarn."
It was nine months after than, in my manor where I sat,
I saw a figure coming past the barn.
 And a big man with a truncheon quite disturbed my Sunday bruncheon,
I was father of a little ball of yarn.
Come all you young men, neveer step out after ten,
 Not intending for to do her any harm.
As soon as they lie down, you've got to pay a half a crown,
For winding up her little ball of yarn.
 Come all you young men, take a warning to what I said,
 Never rise up too early in the morn.
 Like the blackbird and the thrush, there'll be someone 'hind the bush, That will wind up your little ball of yarn.
 In my prison cell I sit, with my shirttail in my shit,
 And the shadow of my cock upon the wall,
 And the visitors as they pass, they thrust hatpins up my ass,
And the little crabs play pingpong with my balls.
 So come on all ye maids and harken to what I say,
And don't go out a-walking in the morn.
Like the blackbird keep your head beneath your wing,
 And your hand upon your little ball of yarn.
(Oscar Brand)
(llewtraH)