Old Time Religion
(cho)Gimme that old time religion,
Gimme that old time religion,
Gimme that old time reliigion,
 It's good enough for me.
We will have a mighty orgy,
 In honor of Astarte,
It'll be a helluva party,
And that's good enough for me.
We'll be met by Aphrodite,
She looks gorgeous in her nightie,
She's kind of wild and flighty,
But she's good enough for me.
There will be a lot of lovin',
 When we're meeting in our coven,
Quit your pushin' and your shovin',
So there's room enough for me.
It was good enough for Sappho,
 With her lady on her lap-o,
 She put Lesbos on the map-o,
That's good enough for me.
We will go and worship Hermes,
 Though his staff is full of wormies,
 He protects us from the germies,
That's good enough for me.
We will bow and worship Bacchus,
And get mighty loud and raucus,
Then we'll lay us down and facchus,
That's good enough for me.
We will go and worship Thor,
He makes all the women sore,
But they soon come back for more,
 That's good enough for me.
It was good for old Jehova,
 He had a son who was a nova,
Hey there, Mithras, move on ova',
 That's good enough for me.
There are those that when they've got E-
Nourmous problems that are knotty,
Just refer them to Hecate,
That's good enough for me.
There was a time, so I've heard tell a
Fine, upstanding, strong young fella,
Gave his all to serve Cybele,
That's good enough for me.
We will all do praise to Horus,
In an old Egyptian chorus,
If there's something in it for us,
That's good enough for me.
We will sacrifice to Kali,
Though embracing her is folly,
 She'd be quite an armfull, Golly
That's good enough for me.
It was good for Dionysis,
Till one day there came a crisis,
 From a rise in tavern prices,
That's good enough for me.
Pan's pipes got clogged last Summer,
 And it really was a bummer,
 Finally
had to call a plumber,
That's good enought for me.
Let us all raise our flagons,
For good old Bilbo Baggins,
 Treasure sometimes comes with dragons,
That's good enough for me.
You can keep your saints and haloes,
 Myrrh, frankincense, and aloes,
Let's throw virgins in volcanoes,
 That's good enough for me.
The Episcopals are saved,
In the lamb's blood they are bathed,
 While I'm totally depraved,
 That's good enough for me.
We will worship old Osirus,
 While we sit and smoke papyrus,
We will probably catch a virus,
That's good enough for me.
There's a blacksmith god, Hephaestus,
Far ahead of all the rest o'us,
For his balls are pure asbestos,
That's good enough for me.
We will even worship hades,
 Though he dwells among the shades,
He still picks up pretty ladies,
That's good enough for me.
Well, the Japanese use Shinto,
 There's no telling what they're in to,
It helps them outsell the pinto,
That's good enough for me.
We will worship old Poseidon,
And the dolphin he's a ridin',
 Though it has a scaly hide on,
 That's good enough for me.
We will sacrifice to Kali,
Though her Thugs don't act to pally,
 When you meet them in the alley,
That's good enough for me.
There's that bathing-beauty Venus,
Who'd just love to lay between us,
(There's two ways to take a penis)
That's good enough for me.
There are some that say it's scary,
When the Papist pray to Mary,
Her son may be a fairy,
That's good enough for me.
Well, it made me a believer,
When I met that old man Shiva,
 And his Cannibis Sativa,
 That's good enough for me.
I tried to read the Koran,
Like some macho Muslim moron,
But it's just to goddamn borin',
Not good enough for me.
When you go to worship Odin,
You don't need a tie or coat on,
Just slap a little woad on,
 That's good enough for me.
There is one thing that I do know,
Jove's favorite is Juno,
 She is awfully good at--you know,
 That's good enough for me.