05/28/2004 A male frog named Nevile went wooing. He tried the usual billing and cooing. But the she-frogs just laughed, Which drove Nevile daft, So Miss Mousey, he went a-pursuing. 77911 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA June Sullivan P8405 "An odd comination!" you say? Well, Miss Mousey was quite a good lay, She could cook, she could spin, She could even brew gin, And a mouse doesn't croak in the hay. 77912 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA June Sullivan P8405 It took Mousey a while to decide, But she finally became the frog's bride. Then she littered thrice -- Wee Morogs and some Frice, Depending on who was astride. 77913 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA June Sullivan P8405 A frog who was English, the bloke, (As though he invented the joke) Said, "First I subdue her And then I just screw her, And when I start coming, I croak." 77914 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Al Willis The male frog's approach was insidious; His intentions entirely perfidious. She said that he might Mount from left or from right. He said, "Either will do -- I'm amphibious!" 77915 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Professor Though frogs look quite pretty in pools, To kiss them is only for fools. So girls if you're thinkerin' Of romance amphibian, It's best to examine toads-tools. 77916 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA There was a young lady called Black Who keeps a pet frog in her crack. It devours every tool That comes into its pool, And these tasty snacks never come back. 77917 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Professor A princess who lived near a bog, Met a prince in the form of a frog. Now she and her prince Are the parents of quints, Four boys and a fine pollywog. 77918 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Ogden Nash A fairytale princess from Sprogg Had a passionate affair with a frog, But try as she might She just couldn't quite Get her jollies while perched on a log. 77919 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA G1268a There once was a delicate lass Who loved getting laid in the grass. Till a toad hopped inside her, Pursued by a spider, Now she's an insane piece of ass. 77920 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA G1268 There was a young lady in Prague, Who hopefully kissed a green frog; That's all she could give it; The frog just said: "Brivet", And its quick long tongue set her agog. 77921 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA There was a young lady from Maine Who said, "I shall make it quite plain. That from Innsmouth I shan't Choose a husband who can't From dating young tadpoles abstain." 77922 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Andrew Nellis There was a young man from the South, Who shifted to live in West Louth. Green frogs he collected, Their spawn he ingested And grew tadpoles right there in his mouth. (an Australian frog actually does this) 77923 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Peter Oz Dear Frog, would you take it amiss If I asked for a deep lingual kiss, With your tongue long and flicky In-and-out double quicky, Of my ovaduct's ripe orifice...? 77924 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Jim Weaver Collection Oh, my sweet ovipositing Miss! That type of sex would be bliss. And wanking, moreova, All ova your ova. Is something I'm not going to miss.... 77925 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Jim Weaver Collection Miranda is one of life's beauts, But carries on most strange pursuits. She's terribly fond Of a dip in the pond, Where she fills up her pussy with newts. 77926 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Tiddy Ogg That rather reminds me of Babs, Who used to drive taxis and cabs, From Billingsgate fish Market, filling her niche With the biggest and juiciest crabs. 77927 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Peter Wilkins When spunk in her pussy congeals, Some slow-worms she takes by the heels. They have a good thrash In her foul smelly gash, Then she sells them as fresh jellied eels. 77928 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Tiddy Ogg A foolish young filly named Fogg, Being bored by Big Bill in a bog, Yelled, "Another such poke, And I swear I will croak!" But that's silly, of course...she's no frog! 77929 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Grand Prix Lim 764 There was an old lady down the road Who liked to have sex with a toad. Says I to her "Fine, But he does taste of slime?' "Maybe, but he has a big load!" 77930 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA A frigid girl, wanting to come, Tried shandy, tequila, and rum, To end inhibition, But lost all volition, And woke with a toad up her bum. 77931 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA "That toad had been on a wild ride And somehow got stuck up inside." That's what her date said As he left her bed. She never suspected he lied. 77932 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA There was an old person of Rhodes, Who was greatly obsessed with young toads. He paid several cousins To catch them by dozens, For unspeakable acts in commodes! 77933 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Edwardian Leer 037 P9306 There once was a girlie named Karen, Who proved it to all, she was darin'. She jumped on a log, Got humped by a frog, And now all her warts, they're a flarin'. 77934 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA There once was a princess called Grace, Who carried an nice can of mace, Since the frog she did kiss Got a bit amorous, And gave her warts in a very strange place. 77935 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Raymond Young Gertie the frog was away With her mom for an overnight stay, Which left Bertie the frog All alone with his log, Viewing frog's porn and tossing all day. 77936 ZOOPHILY - ANPHIBIA Peter Wilkins A spinster in Kalamazoo, Once stolled after dark in the zoo. She was seized by the nape, And raped by an ape, And she murmured, "A wonderful screw." 77937 ZOOPHILY - APES L0611 And she added, "You're rough, yes, and hairy, But I hope, yes I do, that I marry, A man with a prick Half as stiff and as thick As the kind that you zoo-keepers carry." 77938 ZOOPHILY - APES L0612 There once was a dame from the Cape, Who had intercourse with an ape. The result was most horrid, All ass and no forehead, And one ball that hung down like a grape. 77939 ZOOPHILY - APES There really are some sex dregs, Against which most states have their regs. If you like beasts so much, I can put you in touch With some beasts who walk on two legs. 77940 ZOOPHILY - APES Annie Jay Lady Jane longed for sex through and through, But her offering was sampled by few. Life is now wild and glad Since the night she was had By a blue-bottomed ape in the zoo! 77941 ZOOPHILY - APES G1337 Raped by four apes in Rangoon, A torrid young tourist named June Said, "I dug the wild screwing Those heathens were doing, But why did they all come so soon?" 77942 ZOOPHILY - APES Grand Prix Lim 171 G0686 There was a young fellow named Lee Who screwed a baboon in a tree. He said, "I admit I'm a bit of a shit, But them monkeys will do it for free!" 77943 ZOOPHILY - APES Nelson Seggley A kinky young man from Mauritius Considered himself real ambitious. He determined to screw Every ape in the zoo -- To me that is simply capricious. 77944 ZOOPHILY - APES Armand E Singer P9812 There was a young man from Manila Who made love to a female gorilla. He found her attractive -- But their sex was so active, It pretty much fucked up his villa! 77945 ZOOPHILY - APES Writerman There was an old Scot named McTavish, Who attempted an anthropoid ravish. In his haste for the rape, He got the wrong ape, And the anthropoid ravished McTavish. 77946 ZOOPHILY - APES Anon L0617 A year later, with ass not so sore, McTavish was back for some more. The same ape, with much glee Jumped McT. from a tree. Now his ass is sore, worse than before. 77947 ZOOPHILY - APES Michael Weinstein P8507 There once was a lass named Priscilla Who spent Christmastime with her gorilla. They'd wear red bandanas, And roast their bananas With cinnamon, grubs and vanilla. 77948 ZOOPHILY - APES Christine Brim Nude 'neath her coat of chinchilla, The duchess set forth from her villa. She said, "James, to the zoo, I have nothing to do, So I'll service their bachelor gorilla." 77949 ZOOPHILY - APES G1214 A sexy street walker named Willa Got a john that was really a thrilla. To a zoo Willa went And over she bent, To be fucked by a lowland gorilla. 77950 ZOOPHILY - APES As encore our lovely Miss Willa, Having not had enough of a filla, So still being wet, Off to Scotland she set, To get fucked by a highland gorilla. 77951 ZOOPHILY - APES It's not quite as strange as it seams, That Willa would like primate cream. That chimp'd often say, Before he started to spray, That Willas' the gorilla my dreams. 77952 ZOOPHILY - APES But later the horny young Willa Decided to go for the killa. So she took a long flight (In fact, overnight) To get fucked by the famous Godzilla. 77953 ZOOPHILY - APES Now Godzilla was not in the mood (He was ailing, had gone off his food) But he beat on his chest When Miss Willa undressed, And our heroine once more was screwed. 77954 ZOOPHILY - APES But Willa went back on the street And she said "Fucking apes may be neat, But they don't have a cent, So I must pay my rent With nuts and bananas - how sweet!" 77955 ZOOPHILY - APES A zookeeper's wife, Mrs. Daw, Said, "Though menfolk may jabber and jaw Of their prowess in bed, The gorilla," she said, "Is much better at it than pa." 77956 ZOOPHILY - APES A. N. Wilkins P8408 There once was a girl from Manila Who gave head to a two-ton gorilla. Now when she described The taste she imbibed, She stated, "It sure ain't vanilla!" 77957 ZOOPHILY - APES Anonymous Bosch There once was a man who one day Sailed with a zoo to Bombay. He was strapped to the tiller By a sex-mad Gorilla, And Bombay is a fucking long way! 77958 ZOOPHILY - APES P. J. John In books by T Pratchett, a hairy 'un, You might think a total barbarian Was once a real man, Now an orang utan, And acts as a college librarian. 77959 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg Now Pratchett don't give him a name, But such are the rules of my game, To aid later rhymes, When I fall on hard times, I'll call the ape Fred, just the same. 77960 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg Now after an evening of sin, you are OD'ing on granny's sloe gin, you are Both kneeling and reeling. That's much like the feeling Of a drop through the space-time continua. 77961 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg And thus fell our ape through the ether, a Split second, he's now in Ibiza; A flash, then he's found; He's slipped to the ground, Like the leak in an old maid's urethra. 77962 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg You see, then, through matter etheral, He's landed on solid material. Down there in old Spain, Where it rains on the plane, In a manner most wholly sureareal. 77963 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg Now attitudes racist have long Existed on Earth, But King Kong Shows clearly the schism That pure speciesism Is wholly and utterly wrong. 77964 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg So poor Fred's career literary, He finds is now quite staionary. He can't get a job, Till he meets Cockney Bob, Who runs, with his half-brother Barry... 77965 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg ...A seedy hotel called the Joy Of Sax, (as such sounds they enjoy,) Who says, "Hey, you oughter Come be our hall porter For peanuts, most all we employ." 77966 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg Now Mr and young Mrs Offerstone Were taking a trip far away from home, But she's getting angrier. He's off drinking Sangria, And she calls the receptionist on the phone. 77967 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg They send up Fred with his banana, He finds Phyllis there sans pajama. The great big orang Soon gives her a bang, And takes her damn near to Nirvana. 77968 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg What happens when hubby comes home, On finding his wife not alone? The tale's pretty groovy, It's all in the movie: "Hairy Porter and Phyl Offerstone." 77969 ZOOPHILY - APES Tiddy Ogg While screwing an ape in the Congo, Dr. Livingston once felt his wand go As limp as an eel. "Though," he said, "No big deal, I was sad disappointing the pongo." 77970 ZOOPHILY - APES A. N. Wilkins P8408 All the lady apes ran from King Kong, For his dong was unspeakably long. But a friendly giraffe, Quaffed his yard and a half, And ecstatically burst into song. 77971 ZOOPHILY - APES L0613 "Sire, why does the navy bring all Of these female apes in the yawl?" King Solomon sighed, And then quietly replied: "They're for times with the concubines pall." 77972 ZOOPHILY - APES A. N. Wilkins P8408 The latest reports from Good Hope, State that apes there have pricks thick as rope, And fuck high, wide and free, From the top of one tree To the top of the next -- what a scope! 77973 ZOOPHILY - APES L0304 Don't tickle my ape on the nape. He can't handle a jibe or a jape. Though he's usually tame, When he's teased, then he'll maim, Kill, wreak mayhem, loot, pillage and rape. 77974 ZOOPHILY - APES Robin K. Willoughby P8408 Here on alt.sex.bestiality, We discuss nature's grand sensuality. In reading the news And chatting with zoos, We salute man's inherent duality. 77975 ZOOPHILY - APES Jim Weaver Collection There was an old man of the Cape, Who buggared a barbary ape. Said the ape, "Sir, your prick, Is too long and too thick, And something is wrong with the shape." (The ape said, "You fool, You've got a square tool,)(1879) 77976 ZOOPHILY - APES Norman Douglas L0584 I had a girl with a large quim, I just couldn't wait to get in. But as I could not fill her, She found a gorilla And made a monkey out of him. 77977 ZOOPHILY - APES King Gorilla, the monarch of roarers, Warned his mate, "Stay away from explorers. If they fuck like we do, They'll be sure after you, And I don't want no half-human horrors." 77978 ZOOPHILY - APES G1309 Said the horrible whore of Lahore, While ape-fucking against a door, "This orang-utang Is better than bhang-- The penis of man's quite a bore." 77979 ZOOPHILY - APES L1721 A zookeeper, one Ellie Slater, Found that no man could satiate her. She attained her nirvana With a large peeled banana, But alas, an orangutan ate her. 77980 ZOOPHILY - APES Karen B A pongo felt quite like an ape; He always got into a scrape Resulting in purges. His natural urges Would lead him from conquest to rape. 77981 ZOOPHILY - APES Bill Backe-Hansen P8409 My monkey can play a Stradivarius And walks a high wire quite precarious. He's a contortionist, too! In great demand at the zoo Where he boffs she-apes in positions most various. 77982 ZOOPHILY - APES Hungarian The duchess of Whiteside cried, "Rape!" When she found in her bedroom, an ape. The ape said, "You ass! Go look in the glass." And left by the fire escape. 77983 ZOOPHILY - APES The eminent Mrs. DeVue Was born in a cage at the zoo. And the curious rape Which made her an ape, Is highly fantastic, if true. 77984 ZOOPHILY - APES The Queen of the Jungle, Liana, While traversing the lowlands of Ghana, Was the victim of rape By an underslung ape With the balls of an overhung bwana. 77985 ZOOPHILY - APES Thomas A. Quinine P8408 Lewd ways have led lecherous Otto Deep down in a moss-covered grotto. From the barks and the squeals, One undoubtedly feels That Otto has ravished a potto! (That "All roads lead to Rome" is his motto.) 77986 ZOOPHILY - APES G1296 There was an Old Man of the Cape, Who knew a large Barbary Ape In the biblical sense; Dear Ladies and Gents -- A seduction that bordered on rape. 77987 ZOOPHILY - APES Edwardian Leer 111 P8407 There once was a timid young pongo Who knew that he didn't belong, so He thought a prospectus With Homo erectus Would make even him quite a strong beau. 77988 ZOOPHILY - APES Bill Backe-Hansen P8409 On the street where I live there's this monkey, Who screeches quit loud and smells funky. And right next to his door Lives Winnie the whore, Who he visits when he's feeling spunky. 77989 ZOOPHILY - APES Dudesdead This arrangement you might think is odd, But Winnie does not mind his small bod, 'Cause Winnie, you see, Is just three-foot three, And the monkey just loves eating cod. 77990 ZOOPHILY - APES Dudesdead A horny zoo keeper named Mapes At the apes often lustfully gapes. He avers: "All the flunkies Get to diddle the monkeys. Us zoo keepers should rate the she-apes." 77991 ZOOPHILY - APES Grand Prix Lim 498 G1279 When a man seeks a woman to hump, But can't find a suitable rump, What could be more divine Than a willing bovine That's been trained to back up to a stump. 77992 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO MrMalo Have you tried, Mr Malo, a sheep? They're horny as hell and they leap On you morning and night For your sexual delight, And they're tighter than cows (and Bo Peep.) 77993 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO PeterW Perhaps you've not played with young llamas Clad loosely in black silk pajamas. A tight Viet Cong Backing onto your dong: The ultimate war flashback drama! 77994 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO H WHELCHEL There was a young man named Ducharme Who spent his whole life on a farm. He made love then and now To a sheep or a cow, But he never did girls any harm. 77995 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Albin Chaplin 3024-1130 You should have seen cousin Ray, Who once on a nice summers day, Shagged Tess, the sow, Then Bessie, the cow, While standing on a bale of hay. 77996 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Charles, an acquaintance of mine, Thought his sex practices fine. All day he made passes At laddies and lasses; At night he chased cows, sheep and swine. 77997 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Macsam After downing a six pack or two, Young Albert took off for the zoo. His sick bestial quest, Brought his timely arrest, For screwing two deer and a gnu. 77998 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO A zookeeper named Harry McGraff, Once tried to fellate a giraffe. But the orgasmic splatter Knocked him from his ladder. So this is McGraff's epitaph. 77999 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Pat McGregor My friend said it would be a laugh, If he could service a giraffe. With the aid of a ladder, The dirty sod had her, And he now has a twenty-foot calf. 78000 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Milford A hippo is never inclined, Not even the agile kind, To climb a tall tree. He will not agree. But for sex, I just know he won't mind. 78001 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Jim Weaver Collection Said the young hippopotamus, Flo, Of her lumpy, lugubrious beau: "When I'm near him I sigh; He's a really fun guy, And the hunkiest hippo I know." 78002 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Cyber Geezer An oversexed male hippopotamus Was taken with feelings quite sodomous. He thrust with a grunt But instead of her cunt, He shoved his dick in where her bottom is. 78003 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Jim Weaver Collection Although sex in most beasts is dichotomous, I have read that the gay hippopotamus Does exist still in nature, Though nothing is stranger -- Or vulgar, I venture, when sodomous. 78004 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Pat Byrnes Some horses were teasing a gnu; A fence blocked his path, not his view. He could see the mares woo him, But he couldn't get to 'em, So his testes are now somewhat blue. 78005 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Actaeon When I see a handsome young buck, I fantasize what I might suck. I'd kneel and I'd stroke And drink come till I choke. But I never get that kind of luck! 78006 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Jim Weaver Collection And lastly, but surely not leastly, We have Arabella from Eastleigh. On men she's not keen, But she'd be obscene With pigs, goats and other things beastly. 78007 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO A girl bathed a male antelope, Then bent down and gave him a grope. He lathered her face And gave her a place To hang up her Soap-on-a-Rope. 78008 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Actaeon We take care of our animals; pets, When they're sick, we take them to the vets. But some cowboy mentality Practices beastiality, Like sheep and calves 'en brochette.' 78009 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Jane D. Hughes P9012 You know quite a lot about cows, And probably more about sows. They're pleasures and joys, Enjoyed by farm boys, While taking a break from their plows. 78010 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO Jim Weaver Collection Oversexed is the word for friend Howe, Who in one day, twice mounted his frau, Several sluttish she-heighbors, The maid at the Tabors, Two sheep, and an old brindle cow. 78011 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO G0618 There was a young man from Peru, Who attempted to bugger a gnu. Said the gnu, "Pederasty Is decidedly nasty, But you may slip up my slough for a sou. 78012 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS L1654 I was thrilled when I went to the zoo; They allowed me to bugger a gnu. An F.R.Z.S. Remarked to me, "Yes, It's a privilege granted to few." (F.R.Z.S. - Fellow of Royal Zoological Society) 78013 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Victor Gray I met her in Kalamazoo. She seemed to be up for a screw. I filled her with potion; She showed no emotion. What more d'you expect from a gnu. 78014 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Tiddy Ogg When bored with the old tried-and-true way, As well as the dildo-in-lieu way, A zookeeper's wife Put zest in her life With a fling at "a fabulous gnu way!" 78015 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Jim Weaver Collection The virgins of Essex are few; There's Mary, Melissa and Sue. But Mary's a nun, Sue's a hundred and one, And Melissa resembles a gnu. 78016 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Peter Wilkins But that's just because she's a gnu; She lives here in Colchester zoo. She's new to the town And now word's got aroun', There are thousands lined up for a screw. 78017 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Peter Wilkins Not me, though, I'm going away; I'll miss that unseemly affray; But shhh! I shall smirk On and off as I work, For I've screwed her already today! 78018 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Peter Wilkins My laughter, it sticks in my craw; So hard that my ribs are all raw. But I want to know (Please tell if it's so) Like Sister Chris, do zoo gnu gnaw? 78019 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Travis Brasell When hunters mounted gnu on the wall, The memories of VELDT came to call. There was at its rear A growth there I fear Was a Hottentot caught in the fall. 78020 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Daniel Ford A gnu in the Kalamazoo Zoo, Was dressed in a navy blue tu-tu. She lifted her skirt For a squirt or to flirt; The view caused a hullabaloo. 78021 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Pierce Evans A mammalian maven named Lew Was looking for fat cows to screw. So he leapt the fence: And in the biblical sense, He knew the new gnu at the zoo. 78022 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS Did she douche when his long penis blew All that semen that shot into Sue? The little fool was too lazy, Now she's caught and half crazy, For she laid a buck gnu at the zoo! 78023 ZOOPHILY - ARTIO - GNUS G1203 I feel so torn and lost When I see how much a good fuck costs. All the girls are hot and randy But their price not so handy, So, I'll pork an albatross. 78024 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Owls get frisky at night; They say it's a hell of a sight, When a barn-owl gets horny With a Snowy or Tawny, They keep at it 'till dawn's early light. 78025 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Anon There once was a girl named Monique Whose sex life was rather unique, For her large well-trained parrot (For a radish or carrot) Would diddle Monique with its beak. 78026 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN G1288 Fucking birds is, for old Mister Widgeon, A comfort not unlike religion. He fell madly in love With a gay, big-assed dove Whom he named (here's the pun) Cal E. Pigeon. (callipygian - nice looking ass) 78027 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN G2744 There once was a geek who would growl That love was, at best, the most foul. Till he bit off the head Of a chicken in bed, And fell in love with a saucer-eyed owl! 78028 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Madcat That bird in your hand looks excited. I wonder just what you invited That birdie to do In the bushes with you. Take care that a riot's not incited! 78029 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN When asked by the Duchess at tea, If an eggplant I ever did see, I said "Yes", rather bored. She said, "Sir, you've explored Up a hen's ass much further than me.' 78030 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN L0756 Would these cats be young, or adult? Would the rocket be difficult? Could you build it with ease? Should you aim for the knees? Would you call it a catapult? 78031 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN A lovelorn young birdie named Sue, Got so horny while visiting a zoo, She decided to try Everything that went by, But quit after one cockatoo. 78032 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Pierce Evans There once was a dirty old beast Who, when asked to confess by the priest, Said, "Bugger religion! Let's look at your pigeon." And gave him two inches, at least. 78033 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Jim Weaver Collection Hickory Dickery do, I wish I could go to the zoo. To sit on the train While I look at the crane As it tries to woo a gnu. 78034 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN J Davie and C Hilditch There was a young lady of Ulva, Whose music hall turn with a culver, Evoked great applause As she tore off her drawers And induced it to swoop up her vulva. (culver - dove, rock pigeon) 78035 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Russel Lucas You hen fuckers, this you will love: For small peckers wanting a shove, I've just hired the best; She's straight from the nest. Our sale now includes a plump dove. 78036 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Travis Brasell There was a young person of Kent, Who was famous wherever he went. All the way through a fuck, He would quack like a duck, And he crowed like a cock when he spent. 78037 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN L1646 At the bird zoo, a man from Korea Said he thought it a brilliant idea To have all the birds dyed, But all kidding aside -- How the devil does one dye a rhea? 78038 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Albin Chaplin 3024 P9102 Great woe befell Bernadine Gotch, While camped by Franconia Notch. She was raped by a eagle, Or maybe a seagull, Which then built a nest in her crotch. 78039 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN G1245 A lusty farm lad, for a joke, Gave the hens in the barnyard a poke. But the vice was betrayed When the eggs that they laid Were nothing but whites with no yolk. 78040 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN G1259 A man in fair St. Domingo, Being blase and worn, said, "By Jingo, Blast all women and boys, I'll try some new joys." So he went out and fucked a flamingo. (Published 1880) 78041 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Published 1879 L0636 In the throes of an avian lust, I joined up with a birdwatchers trust. I like the loud squawk Of owl, crow or hawk, As they flock to my cock for a thrust. 78042 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN While fucking an ostrich, young Buck Said, "They're ten times more fun than a duck. As you'll notice, Miss Moultrie, I'm queer for all poultry, So glue on some feathers--we'll fuck!" 78043 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN G1208 When you are old and need specs, Then the thought will no longer perplex. When you're wanting a bunk, But your thingy has shrunk, You'll find birdies are tightest for sex. 78044 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN PeterW There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared! -- Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Are having an orgy, that's weird!" 78045 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Julian I. Edison P8808 A princess of spirit most gallant Was known to be daring and valiant. Fed up with dog cocks, She essayed to screw hawks, And soon she'd developed a talont. 78046 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Actaeon There once was a pretty young eagle, Whose manner was haughty and regal, Till lustfully soaring Behind her, and scoring Was Jonathan Livingstone Seagull. 78047 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Ed Potts P8710 A New Zealand playboy named Greaves Has his girls each way round, but believes In abandoning dames After one night of games, For a Kiwi just eats, roots and leaves. 78048 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN CeeJay With his spyglass went bird watcher Bashur; He discovered a new bird; 'twas a smasher! And he first documented The behavior demented, Of this redhead, two breast mattress thrasher! 78049 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Albin Chaplin Just how many times must I tell you? I've never laid hands on your cockatoo! I rarely do pets, Not even on bets, And I've never had sex with your emu! 78050 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Jim Weaver Collection A nubile bird lover named Frieda Decided to emulate Leda; Her Doc said, "Don't blush, That's no swan, it's a thrush; And it's not caused by Zeus, but Candida." 78051 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Greg Howell P9308 A nice young ostrich named Gary Pined for the zoo's cassowary. The Director said, "All right, share your bed, But with your genes, you can't marry." 78052 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN DrWryme TP9802 The ostrich is smart; you can teach them. So the elephant handlers beseech them. When the bulls are away, The cows moan all day, And those birds are all that can reach them. 78053 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Actaeon There was a young owlet called Tawny, Who thought to himself, "I will forni- cate." Girl called Sue Said, "It's too wet to woo." And she left him frustrated and horny. 78054 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN A gruff anthropoid of Piltdown, Had a strange way of going to town. With maniacal howls, He would bugger young owls, And polish his balls on their down. 78055 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN L0631 A bird-loving fellow named Garrett, Enjoyed making love to his parrot, Till one day the squawker Bit off his big dawker, Thinking the thing was a carrot! 78056 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Writerman There was an old maid in Peru, Who had sex with a yak and a gnu. Then some sailors came by With a glint in their eye, And they gave her a nice cockatoo. 78057 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Professor An amorous parrot named Stu Loves humping his peers in the zoo; Since birds of a feather Fuck best all together, He's joined a sex club in St Lou. 78058 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Armand Singer P0402 Some people are fond of debating From politics to masturbating. They'll argue the merits Of buttfucking parrots, And other things they're contemplating. 78059 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Jim Weaver Collection The Rector then summons a response: Mr DeLeon, first name Ponce. His lastest discovery: A Gallic nunnery -- Just horny pengiuns from France. 78060 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN There once was a penguin we knew, He liked nothing better than to screw. Give him a sheep, He's put it in deep, And then try to give it to you. 78061 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Passionate penguins at night Are quite an unusual sight; The reason is not That lust isn't hot, But rather the fear of frostbite. 78062 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Nick D Kim I don't have a pecker, but maybe I should - I told the red hen that I would if I could. She envies the cows The nannies, and sows, Since she heard that some bird has one made out of wood! 78063 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Jim Weaver Collection King Jonathan Edward the third Was caught pederasting a bird. He'd rammed the thing through With his long, slender screw, And pushed out a seven-inch turd. 78064 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Tony Davie Collection There was a young man who preferred, Having sex with some kind of bird. The rarer the species, And the fuller of feces, The better -- that guy really loved turd. 78065 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN L1670 The native guide, Sacajawea Was seduced one hot night by a rhea. Before they made love, He spoke from above: "I use condoms, you've nothing to fea." 78066 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Actaeon Duckies and swannies and chickies!? You guys must be some kind of sickies! I think it's absurd To have sex with a bird. (Though road runners serve for some quickies.) 78067 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Irish There was a young fellow named Spiegel, Who had an affair with a seagull. What's worse, do you see, It wasn't a she, But a he-gull, and that is illegal. 78068 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN John Ciardi There once was a man called Tim Teagle Who tried fucking a bald-headed eagle. It was lust all gone wrong, The bird clawed his dong; He had much better luck with the seagull. 78069 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Jim Weaver Collection There was a young man named O'Rourke, Heard babies were brought by the stork. So he went to the zoo And attempted to screw One old bird. End result: didn't work. 78070 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN L0628 A young ornithologist's curse Was a lust quite depraved and perverse. His desires, so they say, To indulge in "fowl play" More than once took a tern for the worse. 78071 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Vassar W. Smith P9304 There was an old bird watcher, Perce, Who indulged in behavior perverse. Since young birds he would fuck, Sometimes goose, sometimes duck, But he once took a tern for the worse. 78072 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Albin Chaplin The Thing from the Peruvian zoo Was hard up for something to do. So he took out a parrot And fed it his carrot. The result is the King of Peru. 78073 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Neal Wilgus P8507 A marvelous bird is the toucan, Who when engaged in a screw can Stand on his head, Shove beak in instead. If you think that's a cinch, see if you can. 78074 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN G1339 A filthy old man of Helena Regressed from obscene to obscener. What he did, I won't say, But included fowl play With a turkey, two tits, and a weiner. 78075 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Hugh Oliver A074A The birdwatcher looks in dispair As birds 'round him fuck everywhere. Though he strains through his glasses, For a view of their asses, He cannot see what goes in where. 78076 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Albin Chaplin 3024-1129 I'll tell of a fellow named Zeke, Who, lost in the woods for a week, Put his dong in a hole Of a massive oak's bole... Found a woodpecker's beak, so to speak. 78077 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Tiddy Ogg Big Betty lies flat on her back, So Woody can hammer her crack, With hard, steady pounding, To give it a rounding, Before other 'peckers come back. 78078 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Travis Woodpeckers are strange birds, indeed; With their peckers, they don't eat birdseed. Instead their hard peckers Are tree and house wreckers; Be interesting to see how they breed. 78079 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN Floyd Moody A love-sick young barn owl in Kew Had a pretty young she-owl in view. He twittered, "I oughter Endeavor to court 'er, But I don't have enough wit to woo. 78080 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN That cow is easy to beat. I once new a farmer named Pete; He had a big duck, He'd repeatedly fuck, Until it would piss on his feet. 78081 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Jim Weaver Collection Once a farmhand outside Alexander Attempted to goose a big gander. But the ganders got even-- Shat all over Stephen! Moral: Don't rile a big gander's dander. 78082 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Grand Prix Lim 489 G1181 Oh Canada Goose you're a dream, But one that might just make me scream. You tease and you taunt And all the while flaunt Those parts that you know make me steam. 78083 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM That running and hiding and giggling, And setting all nice bits a-jiggling, Shows you want the tickle. You know that my dick'll Give you in the part that you're wiggling. 78084 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM I strolled to the lake to meander For solace when, Lo! An old gander, Distictly Canadian, Was goosing his lady an' My solace was never more grander. 78085 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Travis Brasell I've never heard wickeder slander! At levels to which I won't pander! Never mind the goosin', We'll go lakefront sluicin' Right after Trav's grander meander. 78086 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Ericka My solace erupts when the gooseway Of goosin' inspires my grand juiceway To flood forth in gushes, And Ericka rushes To channel the flow in her sluiceway. 78087 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Travis Brasell Why look, it's a duck and a drake On opposite sides of the lake. She's looking demurely At him but he's purely (If pure is the word) on the make. 78088 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Peter Wilkins Alas, the poor duck cannot swim. It's not that he doesn't have vim; He stepped in cement The last time he went Ashore, now his chances are dim. 78089 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tiddy Ogg A cocky young sport from old Nice Had a habit of screwing young geese. But once he got stuck When the bird ran amok; It dropped him off high over Greece. 78090 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM OgniGioia There once was a man from Kentucky Who plucked ducks, and when he plucked a duck, he Would fuck the plucked duck Like a duck fucking schmuck. He got caught fucking duck; how unlucky! 78091 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM This morning I walked down the street; Can you guess who I happened to meet? Yes, a duck! But not any Old duck out of many, But duck who is cuddly and sweet. 78092 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM For years I've been trying my luck And at last I've attracted a duck! Now there's no turning back So I'd better say, "Quack! Will you sit on my lap for a fuck?" 78093 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM I've looked through a manual or two For positions but haven't a clue How to consummate passion In duckie-type fashion So hopefully this one will do. 78094 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM To philander with poultry's a thrill. The sight of a DA stirs me still! But I've never paid A cent to get laid, Till that damn duck slipped me a bill. (DA - ducks ass, type of haircut popular in '50s) 78095 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Irish Huck is moonstruck with the duck, 'Cause muck is what ducks like to suck. He unsips his pip For a sip from the tip, And with luck, a duck pecks on his puck! 78096 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM H Whelchel A gloomy old fellow is Routh; Who lives on a farm in the south. For pleasure he sucks The pussies of ducks, That's why he feels down in the mouth. 78097 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM That's the worst one that I've ever heard! To think, having sex with a bird! But maybe it's right To let it take flight, And have a sense of the absurd! 78098 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Even better than goat, sheep, or moose, Is a good-sized excitable goose. Hold her legs, let her flap, If that goose doesn't crap, You'll get off before she gets loose! 78099 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM John Miller There was a young flirt of Ceylon, Who loved to lead the boys on. Instead of follow the leader, She played follow the 'Leda', And finally succumbed to a swan. 78100 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM "I don't often do it with moose," Said the pervert, "I find it too loose; And you AJL guys I fear monopolise Poor old Bessie; now give me that goose! 78101 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tutta Gioia My knowledge of sex does not suck, And I've reasearched the best things to fuck. Sheep are too easy, And chickens are greasy. The best fuck of all is a duck! 78102 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Anon There was a young man from Toulouse, Who thought he would diddle a goose. He hunted and bunted To get the thing cunted, But decided it wasn't no use. 78103 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM L0641 Good job! I'm an ace with the noose, For I've rescued this poor little goose; It was flying around With its nose to the ground, Heading straight up the cunt of that moose. 78104 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Come in, said the goose to the gander To all your fowl needs, I will pander. Let's share the same sauce Then floss up with moss, And slander and philander in grandeur 78105 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM The gander started cursin' and nursin' The eggnog the goose was dispersin'. He got so damn drunk, He chased an old skunk From person to person to person. 78106 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM "I've had enough of this abuse, You dumb drunken shit!", said the goose. "You smell like a skunk, Get away from me, punk, Or I'll hang your neck in this noose!" 78107 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Well howdy dear, cock-doodle-doo I'm here and I'm ready for you I like juicy guinea So come on and gimme Some pink meat to chew and to screw 78108 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM There was an old man of Santander, Who said, "You be goose: I be gander." The shaft of his tool Was soon covered with stool-- Shitty time he had trying to land her! 78109 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM G1312 There was an old man of Santander, Who attempted to bugger a gander. But that virtious bird, Plugged its ass with a turd, And refused to such low tastes to pander. 78110 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Norman Douglas L0640 But the very next day, So the chronicles say, The ingenious man from Uganda With a patent corkscrew The obstruction withdrew, And successfully buggered the gander. 78111 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Leda, thinking no Swan could make love, Laid two white eggs: warmed by the stove, One hatched Helen of Troy. Whilst her double-yolked joy Produced Castor and Pollux--by Jove. 78112 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM G1272 As the geese flew around in a gaggle The ganders were having a haggle And fight as to who Would be first in the queue For a screw with the one with the waggle. 78113 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Vanessa once fancied a fill With ducks and getting a thrill. Don't know what she did, But she hadn't no kid, But surely was left with the bill. 78114 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tiddy Ogg A sad little lesbian duck One Saturday ran out of luck. She met an old drake, A notorious rake, Who gave her a bloody good fuck. 78115 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Peter Wilkins How her eyes did glimmer and glitter As he rammed home that which did fit her. The astonished quack Was heard around back And the rest came to watch while he did her. 78116 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Azul A sister I had, and a niece And lambs good for more than their fleece. And a buxom young cousin And hens by the dozen... Of all, I would still prefer geese. 78117 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM John Miller Bessie was jealous, you know. When I had them, she'd pace to and fro, Tail swishing and slapping -- She hated the flapping... When seizures my cousin would throw. 78118 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM John Miller In Aylesbury, they have this strange duck; If you meet it, you're way out of luck. It's about six feet tall; Has no teeth at all; But it gives you a terrible suck. 78119 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Bill Wall There once was a man from Mannuck, Whose penis resembled a duck. Not happy was he Till fortunately, He met a girl-duck he could fuck. 78120 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tjarda Young Christopher's made a mistake (Guess it's one that's quite easy to make) For his regular fuck, Young Jemima the duck, Is in fact Jeremiah the drake. 78121 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Jemima is out on the make; She's swimming around in the lake And trying her luck With a lesbian duck, She's mistaken for Jacob the drake. 78122 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Peter Wilkins Jemima will play around till She's had, like all chicks, quite a thrill. And then she'll get mad And think she's been had When she gets from Jacob, his bill. 78123 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Travis Brasell An engaged young farmer named Buck, By his girl, was surprised with a duck. He said, "You may cry or howl, But I'm queer for all fowl. You must glue on feathers to fuck." 78124 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Hawaii's State Bird is the nene, Whose organ is wonderfully teeny, Except when he spies Some babe in the skies-- And then it looks more like a weenie. (nene pronounced wrong here - nay-nay not knee-knee) 78125 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Norm Storer P9203 He told the hall porter at John's, "It was out of regard for the dons That I rogered your daughter, And a good lay I thought her, But I'm now going to bugger those swans." 78126 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM A. N. Wilkins P8507 Said a rather promiscuous duck, With the drakes I just don't get no luck! They approach me all slick But then paddle off quick. They can't seem to muster the pluck. (no davian behavior - McW) 78127 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tillmanator There was a young lad of St. John's, Who wanted to bugger the swans, But the loyal hall porter, Said, "No! Take my daughter! The swans are reserved for the dons." 78128 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Norman Douglas L0637 On Sunday that randy old drake, He was once again on the make. He jumped on a goose He thought of as loose. She smelled, not of bird, but of hake! 78129 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Thus spake an old Chinese mandarin, "There's a subject I'd like to use candor in: The geese of Pekin Are so steeped in sin, They'd as soon let a man as a gander in." 78130 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM L0619 You've heard of the Duchess of York, She's twice been blessed by the stork. The Duke will fuck Naught else but a duck, While the Duchess, she frequents the park. 78131 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM L0664 This duck, it did try to shout "rape", But was lying there, flippers agape. Now this is my version, I'm pleading coercion, And I only used one roll of tape! 78132 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM In Sparta a nubile young Greek Grabbed a very large swan by the beak. She said, "While it's true This ain't much of a screw; It's the best thing that I've had all week!" 78133 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Frank Ward P9309 As a lad, I had Ray as a friend, But our friendship soon came to an end. Diddling ducks in the lake, I caught him with a drake! Such perversions I could not defend. 78134 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM John Miller 0312 I never passed time with a drake; The quacking gives one an earache. But I did have a cob Try to swallow my knob, But only once, on a lunch break. 78135 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM S C Saint Now nibble my duck, it's real chewy, While Huey and Dewey and Louie, My nephews, all pack Their dicks in your crack, And soon you will end up all gooey. 78136 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM A passion-swept Seminole buck Wouldn't pay a red cent for a fuck. Shunned by Indian girls He resorted to squirrels, And in one extreme case, to a duck. 78137 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM G0796 But enough of the guys, there's the duck Who was huge and the very best fuck. He'd waddle and quack His way to my crack, But one day he finally got stuck. 78138 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Jim Weaver Collection A Canada goose over here Is waddling 'round, wiggling her rear. But much as I try, That thing's orifi Are far, far to tiny, I fear. 78139 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Peter Wilkins Aunt Rhody! He's dead, is your goose. It wasn't a fox on the loose, But old farmer Dan, The dirty old man, Who rogered her up the caboose. 78140 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tiddy Ogg But that, Rhody, is not why she's dead. He then forced the bird to give head. She choked on his choat, Wedged deep in her throat. He'll now have to fuck ducks instead. 78141 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - ANATIFORM Tiddy Ogg Let us pity the capon. A roo- ster who's lost the equipment to screw. And his sad little cry When a hen wanders by? 'Tis pathetic. Just "A-doodle-doo"! 78142 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Now this old man was a sick 'un; He'd a dozen hens ripe for the picken'. He'd chase them around With his trousers pulled down, Saying 'Whatsa matter, you chicken?" 78143 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Scott Hendricks A queer down in old Albuquerque Whose notion of poking is murky, Met considerable harm His first day on the farm When he tried the back way on a turkey. 78144 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Grand Prix Lim 657 I wish that a sister I'd had When I were a pubescent lad; Unfortunately It were chickens for me, Which were better than nowt, I should add. 78145 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Peter Wilkins There once was a young blond named Blair Who would do anything on a dare. She crossed over the street, Was quite quick on her feet, 'Cause she heard there was cock over there. 78146 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Anon So why did the chick cross the road? Much mystery in that episode. It now seems quite clear She went over there To help a young rooster unload. 78147 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Frank So why did the chick cross the road? Much mystery in that episode. It now seems quite clear, She went over there To help a young rooster unload. 78148 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM An odd chicken farmer named Pickens Keeps his weapon at ready to stick hens, And when he has rape on His mind with a capon, It lengthens and strengthens and thickens. 78149 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Bob Giandomenico P8910 For a bestial farmer named John, "Laying" chickens is quite a turn-on. But when they menstruate, He can't hold them straight: They slip off, just to egg the man on. 78150 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Actaeon My didgeridoo does not lust For beasties who live in the dust. It lost this desire When, hot and on fire, It poked a small chicken, what bust! 78151 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM With a complex, a robber named Greg Made love to a chicken named Meg. Neither ever confessed But millions have guessed; Which came first, the chicken or yegg. 78152 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Tom Patton While fucking a chicken, young Greg, Said, "The best thing's, I don't have to beg. She's open and clear All the time in the read, Except when she's laying an egg. 78153 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM G1247 I always have sex with a bird, Whose pussy's abundantly furred. Although if she sickens, I'll fuck with the chickens; It's twice now that that has occurred. 78154 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM "Was I born?" asked the chick. The hen (pickin') "First laid and then hatched, barely kickin'." "Do people get laid?" "Not all, I'm afraid; Most do but a few are too chicken!" 78155 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM John Miller 0313a On occasion, us farmboys would spit On the vent -- where a hen passes shit. Then this organ would spasm Like cervical orgasm. Has a paper been published on it? 78156 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM John Miller 0313c May your neck get horrible cricks, Your ass be invaded by dicks. You farmboy pervert, Go get a real skirt, And don't you dare spit on my chicks. 78157 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Rooster Little rooster, don't be so upset With the lout who on us did spat. He is so dim, No spasms for him; Much better the tool that you set. 78158 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Chicken Just for you every morning we pine, Clucking and waiting in line, Till you can attend To our little rear end, With your tool that is just divine. 78159 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Chicken I have to quit picking this cob; It's time to get back to my job. Come here, little chicken, I see your tail flickin'. You're first in line for my knob. 78160 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Rooster Ooh Rooster! Such palpitations I get from those rearward sensations. Whenever you stick Up my rear with your dick, I flutter my wings with elations. 78161 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Chicken I really like banging your hips, But we've heard thos old nasty quips. If I had a knob, I would like a blow-job; Too bad that you chicks don't have lips. 78162 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Rooster A rooster loves to strut and to preen. Hoping a chick will like what is seen. Only use for a cock, Was determined ad hoc, As spreader in the pool of the gene. 78163 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM "Hey chicken, why cross over the road, Leave your nest, chicks, and comfy abode? What is there, other side?" Said the hen, "I have spied A cock with a load who just crowed." 78164 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Ed Potts P8508 A collection of whales is a school; Of lions, a pride is the rule. Get hens all together, They're birds of a feather, They're a flock wants a cock with a tool. 78165 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM My chicken don't want it's breast licked! Try it and you'll prob'ly get kicked By her chicken toes Right in your ol' nose -- Or maybe you'll just be de-dicked. 78166 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM In the quaint English villiage of Worcester, Lived a little red hen and a rooster. A coquettish glance She acquired in France, Gave him ants in his pants, and he goosed her. 78167 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM L1675 Remembering when I was a lad, Much fun with a chicken I had. In acts of depravity, I filled up its cavity, But the frozen food storeman got mad. 78168 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Tiddy Ogg There once was a boy named Clay, Who would steal farmer's chickens all day. He'd take them all home To give them his bone; Then he'd brag to us all, he got laid. 78169 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Jim Weaver Collection A bibliophile, name of Ben, Had lustful designs on a hen. Who, with pleasure and pride, Most obligingly cried, With a flip of her feathers, "Say when!" 78170 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Hickory Dickery Dock, The hens have started to squawk. They all went on strike And said, "Let's take a hike," When the farmer locked up their main cock. 78171 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Jim Weaver Collection The difference 'tween Kinky and Exotic Is: using a feather's Erotic. But Kinky is pickin' The whole Goddam chicken While banging it. (Also chaotic). 78172 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Theo Heller P9312 When fucking a chick you should make a Concerted effort to slake her. If she starts to cluck, When you've finished your fuck, She want you to kiss her cloaca. 78173 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Irish I'm quite a bit older, and frail, So now when I'm trolling for tail, Things aren't quite the same, I'm more into game -- Specifically, tender young quail. 78174 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM John Miller There once was a female named Jenn Who befriended a barnyard hen. 'Twould peck at her slit, And bite at her clit; She'd never leave critters again. 78175 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Jim Weaver Collection This thread has gone bad and I sicken; The things that these guys put their dick in! Do you want a fuck For less than a buck? Give me one cent; take the chicken. 78176 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Tom Myers The thing that you are now proposin'; Of chickens for dipping your hose in, I tried that once too. My pecker turned blue. Next time I'll wait till it's unfrozen. 78177 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Tiddy The hen snatched the comb of the cock And parted the lips 'neath her smock (Despite all the quips A chick *does* have lips) Then jacked off his rock with a squawk! 78178 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM I know just what I want for my present, Though I did ask you to buy me a pheasant. But, what the fuck, Better get me a duck, Since you said there was no fucking pheasant! 78179 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Jim Weaver Collection You should know that a rooster can't pee, So his breath contains much NH3. That bird has no penis And so just between us, Why do hens prefer him over me? 78180 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM John Miller 0313b Young Hetty, that feisty old Hen, Was bemoaning the shortage of men. "Life is terribly hard -- Not a cock in the yard! And I've blown my vibrator again." 78181 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM There was a young man from Point Pleasant Who once tried to diddle a pheasant. It squeezed out his prick To a regular toothpick, And it's on vacation, at present. 78182 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM G1302 There was a young boy of ten Who stuck his dick in a hen. The hen said "Ouch!" And the boy said "Crouch, 'Cause I'm going to stick you again!" 78183 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Scott and Roger The sexual life of the rooster Intrigued an old maid of South Brewster. She sighed, "One big cock Can take care of this flock, And each biddy is pleased he's seduced her!" 78184 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Grand Prix Lim 729 P8504 That Rhode Island Red is a clucker. For a handful of corn, she will pucker. But the rooster is queer, So it does not appear There's a chance he is going to fuck her. 78185 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Anon Said a sad old Rhode Island Red rooster, "Hens don't have appeal like they uster! Why, one pullet today Said she just wouldn't lay, But I ran her down, Man and sedooster." 78186 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Grand Prix Lim 614 While dining on Thanksgiving turkey, A woman began acting quirky. Without saying a word, She made love to the bird -- The rest of the story gets murky. 78187 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Ogden Nield I know what I want for my present! A plump and obliging young pheasant, Whom I'd stuff from behind, Til' it loudly opined, "Roasting to me, is more pleasant!" 78188 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Jim Weaver Collection A rooster residing in Spain, Used to diddle his hens in the rain. "I give them a bloody Good time when it's muddy, Which keeps them from getting too vain." 78189 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM L0649 There once was a cocky young rooster Who cornered a hen, then seduced her. She found him so base, She egged on his face-- I guess that he shouldn't have goosed her. 78190 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM But this juicy plump guinea hen, Doesn't mind being goosed now and then, By cocky young roosters. They're such morale boosters, And always welcomed in my pen. 78191 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM There once was a timid young rooster Who cornered a hen, then seduced her. Before he could wreck her, She pulled off his pecker -- No longer a chicken, he goosed her! 78192 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM There was an old woman of Wooster Who wanted the farmer's young rooster. "Do give me that cock That's as hard as a rock." "Not me!" said the farmer, and goosed her. 78193 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM G0231 There once was a horny young hen, Who cackled outside of her den; The rooster - he goosed her, Then fully seduced her, And screwed her all over the pen. 78194 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Cap'n Bean P0111 Two roosters in one of our pens, Found their pricks were no larger that wens. As they looked at their foreskins And wished thay had more skins, They discovered they'd both become hens. 78195 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM L0214 When I was a youngster, my pal And I snuck in Papa's corral, Where we broke his law With hens that we saw, By both of us running afowl. 78196 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM But now that my Papa is dead, And since I'm much older, instead Of chasing around Those hens on the ground I just let 'em roost in my bed. 78197 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM He's constructed with matches and pegs, Little stirrups for chickens' wee legs. As he screws up his eyes And he plunders their thighs, He makes certain to scramble their eggs. 78198 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Look who's struttin' his stuff around, Is Foghorn Leghorn back in town? I'll doodle your cock, Your barnyard will rock, So hard the hen house will come down. 78199 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM A farmer in old Albuquerque Was caught having sex with a turkey. He said with a grin, "I know it's a sin, But it sure beats the hell out of jerky!" 78200 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Peter Wilkins A cook from the town Albuquerque Took pleasure in stuffing a turkey; Not the old fashioned way, With some parsley and bay -- But straight up it, and certainly quirky. 78201 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM Hugh Oliver A082A For groceries Fortnum and Mason In London is really the place. On A Saturday night, Though, you'll cringe at the sight, Of what's stuffed in those chickens by Jason. 78202 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - GALLIFORM There was a young fellow, a Kurd, Who attempted to bugger a bird. He picked up a sparrow Whose ass was too narrow-- The whole bloody thing was absurd! 78203 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE G1335b I once a canary had, too; Decided I'd paint the bird blue. Folk said it would die, But I gave it a try, It squeaked a bit but it pulled through. 78204 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE But green would be better, think I; The bird though, did curl up and die. It wasn't the paint That caused this complaint, The blowlamp was turned up too high. 78205 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE A certain professor named Yarrow Had trouble seducing a sparrow. When he'd given up hopin' He pried her jaws open, And filled up her bill with his marrow. 78206 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE L1737 A raven cock sat full of woe; His ladyfriend had just told him "No! You, bub, I ain't marryin', You're too full of carrion; You'd better go off and eat crow!" 78207 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE Tiddy Ogg There was a young preacher from China, Who loved boys but thought birds diviner. But he gets no tail; In fact, he's in jail, Being charged with corrupting a mynah. 78208 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE Donald Dimock "I've examined this birdie's vagina," Said the vet, "and in South Carolina, An indictment is due For contributing to The delinquency, suh, of a mynah!" 78209 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE There was a young sailor from Yarrow Who tried to bung-scuttle a sparrow. But he failed to succeed In this dastardly deed, For the bones of its ass were too narrow. 78210 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE G1335a There was an old maid from New Haven Whose desires were unhealthy and craven. She scattered live ants On the seat of her pants, And had them pecked off by a raven. 78211 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE G1291 There once was an Old Man of Whitehaven, Who danced a quadrille with a Raven; But they said, "It's absurd To encourage this bird!" "But," he sobbed, "It's this raven I'm craven'." 78212 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE Edwardian Leer 066 A gymnastic raven named Pete, Could juggle his balls with his feet! Said Pete with a tweet, As he fondled his meat, "Now ain't that a helluva feat?" 78213 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE Magunda Ther was a young man from New Haven, Who had an affair with a raven. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, "Nevermore!" 78214 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE L0625 There was an old lady of Harrow, Whose views were exceedingly narrow. At the end of her paths, She built two bird baths, For the different sexes of sparrow. 78215 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE Anon "Tits like coconuts!" he said. She overheard -- her face turned red. "Let me explain; Come to the pane, See, sparrows prefer the bread." 78216 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE Fred There once was a sergeant named Schmitt, Who wanted a crime to commit. He thought raping women Was a little too common, So he buggered an aged tomtit. 78217 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - PASSERINE L0643 The absurd and antique Annie Besant Accosted an innocent pheasant. It said, "Of a surety I'll tell Krishnamurti, And that would be very unpleasant." (this doesn't make a lot of sense) 78218 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1187 Said a young dude who decided to bribe his Mamma to procure him an ibis: "Don't get me a crane, It would give me a pain If you knew how exclusive the tribe is." 78219 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES G1188 A. Crowley "Rate, did you say," cried Cadger, "rate? I fuck at the regular spadger rate! Bring me a duck! I'll teach you to fuck: I swear I would scorn to exaggerate!" (spadger - a sparrow or small boy) 78220 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1189 On the duck, he did excellent work; he Destroyed it; he never got jerky. He smoothly went on To a goose and a swan, And we left him untired with a turkey. 78221 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1190 A professor of ethical culture Once said to his class, "'Twould insult your Intelligence if I said I got stiff For anything less than a vulture." 78222 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A Crowley G1191 Paul Proper vowed virtue a cinch is: His tool was a foot and four inches. He thought it was legal To bugger an eagle, But utterly wrong to fuck finches. 78223 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A Crowley G1192 His twin brother, Puritan Peter, Whose prick measured one millimeter, Thought Hell would break loose If one got a goose, But a saint may be stuck on a skeeter. 78224 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1193 She said, "There you go! False alarm again! You bally old bounder, get calm again! I once taught a starling To answer to 'Darling,' But I'm usually faithful to ptarmigan." 78225 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1194 A fellow who fucked as but few can Had a fancy to try with a toucan. He owned like a man The collapse of his plan: "I can't -- but I bet none of you can!" 78226 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A Crowley G1195 A frantic fanatical friar, In love with a large lammergeier, In spite of his sins He knew why, when it spins, Is a mouse--for the fewer the higher. 78227 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1196 A clergyman said to a girl, "You Love fucking: Jehovah will hurl you To Hell if you love it So much that you covet The criminal cock of a curlew!" 78228 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1197 Like the virgin who pouted, "By Jingo, I never yet fucked a flamingo!" We bought him a bride, But he fumbled and sighed, "Here, damnit, I can't make my thing go!" 78229 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1198 A hoary old sinner named Sinnet, Took his prick out and started to skin it. He muttered, "though that key Was fat old Blavatsky, I could do in a pinch with a linnet." 78230 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1199 The boy who buggered a sea mew Was tempted to tackle an emu. He said, when he lost, "Though our love has been crossed, I shall always sincerely esteem you." 78231 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES A. Crowley G1200 The son of a merciful Mandarin Once said, "Could I but get a gander in The family way, I should openly say I considered it fancy philanderin'." 78232 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES G1201 In France I once met a flamingo; 'Twas love at first sight. I said "Bingo!" And stalked it all day In the sea and soleil, Then I pounced and I stuffed it, by jingo! 78233 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Peter Wilkins Well you may be just quite a bard, But to catch this pink bird is not hard. It stands very still, Looking down its crooked bill, On the edge of my neighbor's front yard. 78234 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Jeanie Taylor Young Olive the Ostrich was shy And when pestered by Ossie-the-guy, Turned as red as a beet From her beak to her feet, As she flapped in an effort to fly. 78235 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Peter Wilkins Of course, she stayed firmly on land So she buried her head in the sand; A mistake -- for her rump Thus exposed for a hump, Caused young Ossie to slam in his gland. 78236 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Peter Wilkins "That hurts! Now just stop it, I beg." Said Olive, "Now take out your peg." "If you think that my flirting", Said Ossie, "is hurting Just wait 'til you're laying the egg." 78237 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Peter Wilkins A science researcher, my bro, Said, "There's something that you ought to know. Not ewe, mare, or duck Is the beastie to fuck, An ostrich's the best place to go." 78238 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES SantyClz He said it (I swear that it's true, Though I wonder just how he knew) "An ostrich vagina The most human kinda" (Did he try every beast in the zoo?) 78239 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES SantyClz I quickly replied, "I declare, That's why, when an ostrich you scare, It so cowardly stands With its head 'neath the sands, And its ass waving high in the air." 78240 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES SantyClz My parrot flies into a rage; His libido he needs to assuage. In the absence of Pollys, Joe gets all his jollies From screwing the bars of his cage. 78241 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES I told him one day quite emphat- ically, "Shut it!", and threw in the cat; Let the terrible din Of the fighting begin, As they slashed at each other and spat. 78242 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES After 25 minutes or so Of this battle which went to and fro; 'Midst the feathers and fur, Heard a satisfied purr From my cat, who lay flat beneath Joe. 78243 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES There once was a young man from Harrow, Who wanted to make love to a sparrow. The sparrow said, "No! You can't have a go. The hole in my arse is too narrow." 78244 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Jim Weaver Collection He then tried it on with a duck; He thought he'd have much better luck. As he attempted to pass That feathered fowl's ass, They both got run down by a truck. 78245 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Jim Weaver Collection He even had a go at a hawk With a plan involving a fork. But that bird too, said "No You can't have a go!" Just fancy a bird that can talk. 78246 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Jim Weaver Collection At last, on a date with a hen, He got the come on just when With a hellova cluck, Now it can't give a fuck, So he's settled instead for blond men! 78247 ZOOPHILY - AVIAN - SERIES Jim Weaver Collection There once was the Bird and the Bee, Symbolic of what sex should be. But now they're passe 'Cause children today Have talk shows and Cable TV. 78248 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Irving Superior P9604 Next about Birds and the Bees, In red-lighted districts one sees A male and female Arranging a sale, Exchanging their words and the fees. 78249 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Irving Superior P9604 Next for the Birds and the Bees To help in avoiding disease, And/or masturbation And phone conversation, Buy condoms with full guarantees. 78250 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Irving Superior P9604 Next of the Bird and the Bee, On condoms with full guarantee, If doubts still endure And still you're not sure, Instead of one condom, use three. 78251 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Irving Superior P9604 My dad explained that a bird Has a lot to do with that word, And sex for the bees Involves peonies, But the answer he gave is absurd. 78252 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis P9604 All the bees walk through flowers with glee. Then they fly away to a tree. The birds touch the pollen, And I know it's appallin', But that's what I think, and I'm three. 78253 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis P9604 A bee was perturbed with lips pursed. She said, "Things out to be reversed. The birds and the bees, Should be changed, if you please. And now it's our turn to be first." 78254 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis P9604 The children of birds and the bees While sitting on their parents knees, As asking about... Are told without doubt Of microbes, mosquitoes and fleas. 78255 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Irving Superior P9604 A bird and a bee make a date. But they find that they simply can't mate. So the bird finds a bird Who knows the F-word, And the bee chases bees interstate. 78256 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis P9604 Little Al said, "Dad, tell me, big guy, How the birds and the bees multiply. Are they able to ball With their peckers so small? Do they manage to screw on the fly?" 78257 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES William Nesbit P9604 A conundrum which is yet extant, But to which I'll now give a new slant. For the answer I thirst. Which do you think came first, Was it the chicken or the eggplant? 78258 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Loren Fitzhugh P9912 Consider the bees and...oh turds! What awful familiar words. I'm sorry again; But it seems that my brain Has shrunk to the size of a bird's. 78259 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Consider the birds and ... oh Lor'! I think I've done this one before I seem to remember Last year in November; Most terribly sorry, I'm sure. 78260 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES A naive young lady of Cork, Was told she was brought by the stork. But after a day With a gent named O'Shea, She distrusted all talk of that sort. 78261 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Reg Yearley A lad from the city of York, He thought he had come with the stork. But when he found out What the truth was about, He felt like a bit of a dork. 78262 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Martin V Jensen The poor guy was really quite sad, And at his parents was mad. But now that he knew What his pecker could do, He started a sexual Olympiad 78263 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Azul He failed course but not from BETISE, Or laziness, or some disease; Since hormones kicked in, He's interested in One topic: the birds and the bees. 78264 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Elois When I was a kid, I just thought, That you wished for a child then you got; The truth was a shock, But quite soon I liked cock, When encounters were lustful and hot. 78265 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Jayne I got older and discovered true love; It came like a bolt from above. With shagging aplenty, I married at twenty, So right, we fit just like a glove. 78266 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Jayne Kids come along, they're a strain; Sleepless nights simply drive you insane. But passion returns, So hot that it burns, Then we just start all over again! 78267 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Jayne The young high-school students of Surrey Cause their mothers a great deal of worry; With that course in Phys.Ed. And the books they have read, They grow up in too much of a hurry! 78268 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES John E Mayhood P0800 A biology teacher named Kudents Taught sex to the boy with great prudence. And when came the finale, She went in the alley And was fucked by the A and B students. 78269 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Albin Chaplin 3024-2148 Cried a raccoon through his Misses kisses "What a hellish fine sex method this is! Storks bring humans, one hears, After this, it appears, A man just don't know what he misses!" 78270 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Grand Prix Lim 871 A poem that isn't obscene Has a right to be written and seen. While fauna and flora Cannot match Gomorrah, At least, it's a subject that's clean. 78271 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis Just think of the birds and the bees And the sexual behavior of fleas. And the worms and the snails Which have sex with themsel'es And the fishes that spawn in the seas 78272 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Peter Wilkins And those primitive tropical trees Which blow pollen around in the breeze, Or grow flowers without failure Like male genitalia; Now what's more obscene if you please? 78273 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Peter Wilkins Never will Nature reform! Decency's just not the norm! With stamens a-jutting, All the estrus and rutting... Each a quite shameless life-form. 78274 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Bob Mornington If desire is all pussy, not rocks, What of pussy desiring hard cocks? When we talk birds and bees, Why's the viewpoint of keys Fill our thoughts, while neglecting the lock's? 78275 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Cordelia, the Sheep-herder's daughter Took heed of what mother had taught her: "Don't swoon at men's prose... They're wearing sheep's clothes... And women are lambs to the slaughter." 78276 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES SFA What she really said was, "Cordelia, Do not let all those young guys feel ya, Or lift up your skirts, 'Cause they are all flirts Who'll leave you with live memorabilia. 78277 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Marlene Lewis So frigid Cordelia'd keep The fellas from getting in deep. Now she gets no thrills, While out on the hills Those men are out pleasuring sheep. 78278 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Tiddy Ogg And when we don't want an old ovine 'Though still our male fancies are rovine? We're out of the fold, The bull's a cuckold, And Bessy's our favoured bovine. 78279 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Archie Spring breezes are blowing the pollen; Bees buzz and the birdies are callin'. "Wanna bloom! Wanna breed! Wanna scatter my seed! Sweet honey, lets get busy ballin'." 78280 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES There was a young girl named Maria, With sex mentioned, got diarrhea. Bird and Bee talk, she'd blush, To the toilet she'd rush. So she never got laid, the poor dear. 78281 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Barbara Cunningham P9604 I do like old Harding's approach; The sex subject he wouldn't broach. He said to their quiz, "It's none of your biz." He stayed in the dark like a roach. 78282 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES H Whelchel There was a precocious young dame, Who felt certain she knew whence she came. She thought it absurd To accuse a big bird, When she knew the stork wasn't to blame. 78283 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Warrick Elrod A nimble performer named Pease Was on a flying trapeze. She learned from some guy A lesson on high Concerning the birds and the bees. 78284 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Armand E Singer 279 "Dad...? So how do you make babies? Please Tell!" (I thought I'd rehearsed this one well) I said, "The man's thing Is inserted..." (ring ring) (Thank God for the telephone bell) 78285 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES PeterW "Dad...? And what is a condom?", he said. (I could feel my face going quite red) "It's made out of rubber And (gulp, mumble, flubber) Most gentlemen wear one in bed." 78286 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES PeterW "Dad...? But why has my sister no dick?" (So I thought up an answer real quick) "The bit that is missing, Which you use for pissing..." (Oh sod this, I thought, I feel sick) 78287 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES PeterW "Dad...?" "Keep quiet son, Do what I say. That's quite enough questions today. Don't ask me another; Go talk to your mother; Just leave me alone! Go away!" 78288 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES PewterW "Mom...? I'm looking for answers, you see? But Dad, he won't tell them to me. I do need a hand To help understand Some of the female anatomy." 78289 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Hobart "I've looked but there's nothing to see; How do you females go for a pee? You haven't a dick, Or is it a trick? Please, Mom, just tell me please!" 78290 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Hobart For a bird, he was very well hung, And the bee that he chased was high-strung. He had sex on his mind And approached from behind, And his very proud member was stung. 78291 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis P9604 When his daddy told young Willie Blum How and where the new babies come from, Willie sneered, "For two years I've been humping Sue Mears And she'd had no kid...Pop, are you dumb!" 78292 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Grand Prix Lim 68 Asked a pupil I had in Grade four, "Does a frog have a prick; does a boar? I replied, "Yes, my son, All male creatures have one, But a porcupine has even more." 78293 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Barbara "Tell me, Mom, once more," asked Elaine, "Where do babies come from? Please explain." Mommy breathed a deep sigh And said, "Goodness! Oh my! Tell me dear, are you pregnant again?" 78294 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES William N. Nesbit P9604 How is romance connected with birds? There aren't any nice rhyming words. Birds are not very nice, They are just flying mice, And all that they droppeth is turds. 78295 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES A teacher who taught evolution Said, "Man is Great Nature's solution, Devised by ways sexual To make life effectual... So by all means, avoid self-pollution!" 78296 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Grand Prix Lim 975 The little girl started to shout When The Birds and The Bees she found out. When she heard how some mister Impregnated her sister, She thought sex would knock all her teeth out. 78297 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Res Ipsa There is a site about sex; No, it's not what you expect. No porn will you find, In fact quite sublime, And its called the sex project! 78298 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Izzy said to his mistress in Texas, "I'm happy as hell there's two sexes. If we had only one, Bed would be no damn fun... Ain't it great the way sexin' affects us?" 78299 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Grand Prix Lim 344 Do all female critters have snatches? "Yes. Many are covered with thatches. Others are bare. And if you care, A snatch's from whence each critter hatches. 78300 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Hungarian At the zoo a new bride from LePage, Said on seeing the stork, "Though of age, And wed sex weeks to Willy, ...I know it sounds silly, But I'm glad you're locked up in that cage. 78301 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Grand Prix Lim 387 The proper Brown's proper young daughter Was doing things she shouldn't oughter. But refused to believe They could make her conceive, Because she'd been told the stork brought her. 78302 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Evelyn Bogen P9604 His eldest said, "Dad, about babies -- Please tell me, no ifs, ands, or maybes -- Are they brought by this bird, Which is sort of absurd, Or love bugs that bite you, like rabies. 78303 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Armand E Singer 785 Anxious mother told sweet daughter Vi, "You will learn soon enough as did I. When you see he can't hide What seems swelling with pride. That's desire in your beholder's fly." 78304 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Loren C. Fitzhugh P9604 A boy and girl decided to show What makes each different, you know. "With one of these, I am better, you see." "With this I can get lots of those." 78305 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Jon Gearhart There was a professor from Pitt Who wanted his sex classes, to wit: "Don't put your fat paw On girls' 'je ne sais quoi', Or tickle the end of their clit." 78306 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Armand E Singer 64 The rabbits, the birds and the bees, Other insects, including the fleas, Practice no birth control, Get no government dole, And enjoy sex whenever they please. 78307 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES William N. Nesbit P9604 "From whence," asked young Bo, "did I come? Please tell me, dear Pop, where I'm from!" Then in a voice proudly, Bo's father said loudly, "Your from the same place whence I come!" 78308 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Travis Brasell You took forty weeks to appear, From that place that fellows hold dear. And soon you will learn, The way to return And do it for many a year. 78309 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Tiddy Ogg When the Birds and the Bees want to score, The call up a good local whore. She sends up a bird And a bee (it's absurd), But that's what I think, and I'm four. 78310 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES Al Willis P9604 I've heard of the birds and the bees, The flies and the frolicsome fleas. The same thing occurs, With the hims and the hers, And I hope, with the you's and the me's. 78311 ZOOPHILY - BIRDS AND BEES There was a young man of Seattle, Who bested a bull in a battle. With fire and gumption, He assumed the bull's function, Impregnating a whole herd of cattle. (Deflowered) 78312 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE L0646 A hapless segundo named Bird Had trouble controlling the herd. The bulls humped his cows, His crew, cook, and sows -- A spectacle close to absurd. 78313 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Armand E Singer 612 There once was a man from Seattle Who had screwed a lot of cattle. His balls hung so low He tied both in a bow, And swung them over his saddle. 78314 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE G1316 A well hung lad from outside Seattle, Had a thing about romancing cattle. He saw a young cow, And thought her a WOW!, But so did the bull, hence the battle! 78315 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE This morning I'm proud as can be; Had twin bulls born sometime 'round three. They're well-hung strong stock, Which comes as no shock 'Cause both of them boys favor me! 78316 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Travis Brasell An actor from Brent, Alabama, Screwed a calf in one act of a drama. Though that may be the rage, She was underage, So they slung the guy's ass in the slamma. 78317 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE John Miller 0272 The farmer, his trousers unbuckled, Showed his rod, which the little calf suckled. Her tongue was divine And her throat took his wine. What threw him was when the cows chuckled. 78318 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Actaeon The cattleman Jim, due to greed, Was trying to hurry the breed- Ing of cows with his bull, So he started to pull, But what came first was a stampede. 78319 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE LaDonna Jones P8503 There was a young man from Seattle, Whose balls were so small they would rattle. He tried 'em on chickens, Got good as the dickens, And now he can satisfy cattle. 78320 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE On the plains, miles west of Seattle, Lived a farmer whose last name was Prattle; A cowpoke they called him, For, bovine, he balled 'em; He truly was close to his cattle. 78321 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Cap'n bean P9901 As he slid off the back of a yak, A Tibetian Lama said, "Mac, What you're claiming is bestial, I find quite celestial, For a crack at a yak's a real snack!" 78322 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Grand Prix Lim 567 When thinking of fame, I must laugh, For mine dates to when I caught a calf And boffed her sweet twat; That deed has now got Folks waiting for my autograph. 78323 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Travis Brasell The bull asked his wife with remorse, "But why do you want a divorce?" His old cow replied, "Cause when your inside, It feels like you're hung like a horse!" 78324 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Travis Brasell The other ranch hands thought it strange Jeb spent so many nights on the range. When they caught Jeb with cattle, To the range boss they tattled. Jeb replied, "I just needed a change." 78325 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Actaeon Now what I have said is quite true; Those less endowed can make do. With some extra care, They will get you *there*. (Not once did I have to say moo!) 78326 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Frank Fazed When I said, "I've an hour and a half," The madame just started to laugh. She said, "At our rates, You must be Bill Gates Or you'll settle for a nice piece of calf. 78327 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE John Miller My mind may be starting to limp Or perhaps I've smoked too much hemp. Surely it cannot be That you're telling me That what I now need's a cow pimp. 78328 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Les Stewart Me needing a cow pimp? Not me! But your heifer was tied to a tree Around out in back, So the madam took a whack At setting it up for a fee. 78329 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE John Miller But now you'll have to agree That I am no sucker, you see. So to access her rump, I climbed on a stump Late at night, and I had her for free. 78330 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE John Miller How I miss you, my sweet Heather, And wish that we were still together. I do regret now Calling you a cow, With puss-flaps as tough as old leather. 78331 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE S&M For all 'round the world I could chase, Never finding that bovine embrace That Heather alone Could grip on my bone. Please bring back that moist pink briefcase. 78332 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE S&M A priest, who was strange in the sack, Confessed having sex, with a yak; He said, "God, hear me pray, But my sheep were away. Oh Lord, won't you cut me some slack?" 78333 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Cap'n Bean P0010 When looking for bovine romance, Use a cautious and gentle advance. They kick, if adverse, Or, what's even worse, Drop a gallon of shit in your pants! 78334 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE As a farm boy, my life's a disaster; Screwing sheep is a skill I can't master. I still don't know how To make love to a cow, And my sister can run a lot faster. 78335 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE John Miller A Hindu who lived in Kashmir, Did a real funny stunt with a steer. Because cattle are holy, He did the deed slowly, With utmost respect, from the rear. 78336 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A heifer from up near the Soo, When approached by a bull, answered "Moo." Then she took the wrong tack, And lay down on her back; But the bull figured out what to do. 78337 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE G2493 I once thought my girlfriend was true. She said, "There's been no one but you." But now I do know All about the old ho'; Someone else has been making her moo! 78338 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Gadzooks!! I too find it appalling To hear of the way you've been balling Defenseless bovine. Do you lay them supine Or is vertical more to your calling? 78339 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE When teaching that calf you must hobble Her front legs so she will not wobble; When wobbling she'll stomp, And even will 'chomp;' You want her to suckle, not gobble! 78340 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Travis Brasell A yak back in Lhasa, Tibet, Said, "Man and his whims I regret. Running short of females, He comes hoisting our tails... Just how horny can Tibetans get?" 78341 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Grand Prix Lim 779 A cow owned by old Farmer Castor Was chased by a bull in the pasture. But because so immense, His bag snagged on the fence. The result was an udder disaster. 78342 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Bob Giandomenico P9011 There's a sodomite Ottoman priest Whom you'd not wish to meet in the least, Who confesses his zest For the parts to the west Of a ruminant beast facing east. 78343 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE CWW P8209 You'd think nothing happens in Kzyltzu, And God knows there's hours to kill, too. But the randy young Kazaks Bugger long-suffering Yaks -- There's always a way, where there's will to. 78344 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE G1266 Said a rancher, while roping a cow, "I wish that someday they'd endow, A wench with a rear Firm and wide like a steer, And a mouth that could suck like a sow." 78345 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE The best way to handle a yak Is to make sure she rests on her back. Then you will not get torn, By the left or right horn, And you'll easily access her crack. 78346 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE Ah Bessie! Dear Bessie, the cow; How I wish I could have you here now. The melons have dried; The geese have all died, And I've had to make do with a sow. 78347 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY John Miller Said Nathan, "Now, who wouldn't dream Of viewing my meadows and stream, Where gents get no less Than a shot at old Bess, And the ladies a taste of my cream?" 78348 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Now this is a thought to consider... For Bess, years past, made my heart flitter. A walk out behind The shed where I'd find, It didn't take much to go get 'er. 78349 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY She's always on fours in position For come-up-behind type coition, And said naught but moo As I'd spray her with goo, With udderly pleasing emission... 78350 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY But that was so many years past; The year I 'discovered' my mast. After buffin' and shining And whimperin' and whining With hands, I found Bess at long last. 78351 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY No longer do I need old Bess, Though thoughts of her cause trouser stress. I'll wait for return Of the one whom I yearn -- When she comes, it'll cause quite a mess! 78352 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY More than one person sent her to me, And the reason is easy to see. So thanks one and all, See you soon in her stall, With one or two bales for her fee. 78353 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Old Bessie was Les Stuart's cow And I wonder, just where is she now? (The last time I had her I fell off the ladder!) -- And Les, where are you, anyhow? 78354 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Guys in here that are on the prowl, Will take anything we allow. Big fat, thin or small, They don't care at all; They've all been with Bessie the cow. 78355 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Regardless that we've been estranged, A meeting with Bess's been arranged. But you'd better be quick If you value your dick... She's acting a wee bit deranged. 78356 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY That Daisy is not the least dressy, The rest of her friends look quite messy. It is easy to see Why these guys favor me, So go milk your herd. Love from Bessie. 78357 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY There once was a farmer named Jesse; He had a prized cow named Bessie. Her teats in his hand, He found udderly grand, And wound up with his pants all messy. 78358 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Bessie just stood there chewing Her cud while Jesse was screwing That bovine's behind, With bliss on his mind, And that proved to be his undoing. 78359 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY In a pasture nearby was Sage, A jealous young bull in a rage. Jesse spewed his seed; Sage hit full speed; And the farmer never reached middle age. 78360 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY The moral to this tale of yore; If you're so horny, you'd screw a boar, Or a sheep or a hog A goat or a dog, Please be civil and shut the barn door. 78361 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY I've long heard of Old Bessie the cow, And I've always kept wondering how? Screw a cow? No, not me, Until I thought...sex for free, And I am dreaming of her here right now. 78362 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY She chews on her cud, the dear lass Swats her tail at the flies on her ass. She seductively moo's; I mistake it as coo's; I just hope we're not moving too fast. 78363 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY I don't want to get in her way, So just name your price and I'll pay. Please don't get jealous, All you AJL fellas, Who take her for a roll in the hay. 78364 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Delighting in pastimes perverse, This twisted old world I traverse. But never have I felt A cunt tight and svelte As Bessie's, straight in or transverse. 78365 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Been wondering where dearest ol' Bess is? Been missing her bovine caresses? Well I have some gnus You can use and abuse, If you fancy relieving your stresses. 78366 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Sweet Bessie's traditional here; She's been with us for many a year, Since (I think) '97. And this side of heaven, She has the most wonderful rear. 78367 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Of course, I exclude all the A JL ladies who come here to play; They're nicer than Bessie And somewhat less messy; But what if at times they're away? 78368 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Instead of just using our palms, We go seeking out countryside farms; And there we can choose Between heifers and ewes, With their singular animal charms. 78369 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Now you're the expert on sheep, So my silence on lambs I will keep; But nevertheless They're as lovely as Bess, (Though conducive to falling asleep). 78370 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY But listen, Observer, I mailed A reply to young Freddie who wailed About Bessie, you know, Just a fortnight ago; Your acute observation has failed. 78371 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Look back in the archives for Jan ("A Great Loss" was the subject, my man) And then you will know Why she sets us aglow And you, too, will become a new fan. 78372 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Though octopi suckers I guess Provide blissfulness, nevertheless, There is naught to compare (As you may be aware) With the wonderful thighs of young Bess. 78373 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY So come give her udders a spin; Feel the dampness and tightness within. You'll discover at once That her soft clenching cunt's Ever ready for sinking it in. 78374 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY A few months ago in this group Of primordial limerick soup, We were given a lesson In bovine caressin', A cure for the Gentleman's Droop. 78375 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Peter W But since we have heard the same thrill Can be gained from a little blue pill, It appears that our Bess Has been getting it less; Is she waiting and wanting us still? 78376 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Peter W Or is she defunct since Viagra Unleashed a huge global Niagara Of spermatozoa? Is Bess in Samoa? Or is she now living in Agra? 78377 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Peter W If anyone knows where she is, Be it Chile, New York, or Cadiz, I would like her to know That I'm missing her so, And her buttocks for squirting my jizz 78378 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Peter W Her exixtence could not have been drearier; All you pinheads poked in her posterior. So if you haven't seen her, It's because of my wiener; She found sex with me so far superior. 78379 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY MrMalo Apparently Bessie decided All your wienies were to be derided. She was so disappointed At how you were jointed, So she left at the same time as I did. 78380 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY MrMalo With many a gal I've been smitten, All over the lands of Great Britain. But I must confess, That only with Bess Did I have my genitals bitten. 78381 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Anon The limerick bovine named Bessy. Has habits uncouth and quite messy. But she is just great Whenever my date Is angry, not feeling caressy! 78382 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Archie Sweet Bessy! I know her of course; A fine piece of tail I'd endorse Without hesitation, Though my aberration Is more strongly inclined toward the horse. 78383 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Irish Good God! I'd forgotten dear Bess! My regret, words just cannot express. With big soulful eyes, And a tail that swats flies, Who needs to look good in a dress? 78384 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Anon I asked of the Curate of Messing Forgiveness and for his blessing. He caught me and all Inside the cow stall, No trousers and doing some Bessing. 78385 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Archie A pony? That's slightly too much, Though a donkey can be a good touch. And though is might vex us, It's true here in Texas, Even Bessy can get us in Dutch! 78386 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY John Miller For the record, I wish to relate Old Bess thiks it wrong to equate Her non-consent (mild) To sex with a child --- As she tole me, our very last date. 78387 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY John Miller Sie sind schon, the girl of my dreams, On you I will write many reams. You're bovine and nice; Your udder adds spice; Oh, Bessy, my lust for you steams. 78388 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY I think we should visit young Bess, For she's been in a state of distress, Having not had a screw For a fortnight or two... She'll be happy to see us, I guess. 78389 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Peter Wilkins My beau is a man of great charm; When I took him out to the farm, He said it was messy -- But he sure liked Bessie! And now I view him with alarm. 78390 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY As a young farmboy, Travis would find That it near drove him out of his mind To leave Bessie the cow, When he had to go plow, 'Cause he hated to leave her behind! 78391 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Observer But the view from in back of a mare Would soon stifle his thoughts of despair. 'Cause being capricious And very ambitious, He, of alternatives, was aware! 78392 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Observer Spring has sprung; the men have ris, Wond'ring where dear Bessie is. Having days off, Les, Takes good care of Bess, In the back, humping her in bliss. 78393 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Jim Weaver Collection While chewing the cud with the boys, We talked about all of our toys. And doxies and wenches Laid out on the benches, Are preferred to Bessy's loud noise. 78394 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY I snuck to her stall on light goose feet, And found in the dark Bessie's poose, sweet; I filled her so full That she thought it was bull Until I said, "No, dear, it's moosmeat!" 78395 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Even Frank, so-called friend, has refused When with passion and love I have oozed. To help with the tension Of constant abstention, For no Bessie I have to be used. 78396 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Jim Weaver Collection When you are a going out wooing, You should try a lass that is mooing. I'm telling you now, Old Bessie, the cow, Won't belt you, while her cud she's chewing. 78397 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY M Forster Les Johnson snuck up on old Bess, But she kicked him and left him a mess. She refused the poor lad After Tiddy she'd had. That dear cow would not settle for Les. 78398 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Travis Brasell Around the world, people are saying That Archie is now disobeying The law of the land, Because of his gland, He's boffing Ol' Bess without paying. 78399 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Travis Brasell It's been bandied about that old Trav's Been buying up lotions and salves. It's got something to do With a goat or a ewe, Or Bessie or one of her calves! 78400 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Observer Such gossip will never bring peace, So therefore, let lying tongues cease. For here's the reality: I practice frugality By using some cheap axle grease. 78401 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Travis Brasell It's Spring-round-up time once again; Time to separate boys from the men. If you've got the right brand, Then you I won't hand To Bessie in her old cow pen. 78402 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Carol Your iron must be fiery hot, Not rusty nor cold with rot. And please do take care Not to singe any hair, And be sure that you hit the right spot. 78403 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Carol When branding I do what I ought By tying a heifer's feet taut, To keep her from kicking When she feels the sticking, Or else cock and balls I'd have naught. 78404 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Travis Brasell But sir, may I hazard a guess, On your site there's a thing to impress. He'll be wanting his dong To be licked by her tongue... Don't let him get hold of our Bess. 78405 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY I went to where Bessie is stalled And read this abuse you just scrawled; She perked up her ears, Her eyes filled with tears, Then both of us stood there and balled. 78406 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY I do like this time of the year When flowers in the meadow appear; Above them the lark, And the cuckooo... but hark; Is that really sweet mooing I hear? 78407 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Peter Wilkins That mooing you hear in the heather Ain't no way connected to weather; Instead, it's old Bessie Who loves to get messy, In regions that we would call nether. 78408 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY Travis Brasell Here comes that Wilkins boy now; The one with the hardening plow. Ready to spill seed From his throbbing reed; Now where the hell's Bessie the cow? 78409 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BESSY A bison has such a large sheath It hangs down from his tum like a wreath. If hair is your thing And fur makes you swing, You'll love what those bulls have beneath. 78410 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Actaeon There once was a guy named Chris Hyson, Who loved to have sex with a bison. He thought is so swell, That he said, "What the Hell! Next time I think that I'll put mice in!" 78411 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON The DMs Moonshine is something I know; I even once gave it a go. Just two shots of corn, And I woke in the morn, In bed with a dead buffalo. 78412 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection Now moonshine and cattle don't mix; Found myself in one helluva fix. She was willing at heart To do her part, But I had to choose one of 3 dicks 78413 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection 'Twas the first time I tried to schlong one; I was ready to slip her the long one. But being pie-eyed As hard as I tried, Each dick I would grab was the wrong one. 78414 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection She was really a hardy and hale one; Thought it might be real cool to nail one. Drunk out of my mind, In the morning I find I'd been trying to fuck a male one. 78415 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection No wonder the buffalo calls Resounded throughout the halls; No wonder he cried And eventually died; I'd been kneeling all night on his balls! 78416 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection With his ear to the ground, the chief said, "Me thinkum there trouble ahead. Soundum like thumping Of buffalo humping, In teepee with squaw in my bed. 78417 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection So he went to the medicine man, To see if he had a plan. With deep prostrations And great ministrations, He said, "Chief, me do what me can." 78418 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection So he went to the teepee and saw The buffalo riding the squaw. When the squaw hollered out, He'd thought it all out, Except for the plans fatal flaw. 78419 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection When the squaw hollered out once again, Our bold little medicine man Snuck into the hut; Poked the buffalo's butt; It was here the plans flaw became plain. 78420 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection For the buffalo gave a great shout And tried to find a way out. But being teepeed, 'Twas a one bull stampede, And thus the ensuing rout. 78421 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection The moral is plain as green grass, (On the morals of squaws we shall pass) The way this story ends Is to say to your friends, NEVER poke buffalo ass. 78422 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Jim Weaver Collection Picky I never have been, But the pickin's 'round here are so slim That this buffalo who In the states was a two Is beginning to look like a ten. 78423 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON R. Wooten Amongst the great pussies, a nice 'un Belongs to old spinster Tess Tyson, Who, since from age ten Has disallowed men To screw 'er, in favor of bison. 78424 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON There was a young harlot named Tyson, Who conceived mad love for a bison. After loves's fruition, Her snatch's condition, Was never again so enticing. 78425 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BISON Ray A. Billington G1228 There was an old man who said, "How Shall I flee from this horrible Cow? I will sit on this stile, And continue to smile." 'Twas a bull -- and it's all over now. 78426 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Edwardian Leer 076 P9306 Her eyesight started failing last fall; The reason she was in the wrong stall. Not milk from the tit, But hot jism it spit, As she fondled a large Brahma ball. 78427 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Onewayout A milkmaid addressing her cows, With sweat dripping down from her brows, Caught the eye of a bull, Which started to drool, As he chased her back to her house. 78428 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Loony Toony The rodeo clown had a walk Which his fellow clowns sure like to mock. "That's what happens, my friend, When you're cleaved in the end By a horny bull's three-foot long cock." 78429 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Jim Weaver Collection A slow-footed stockman called Beales, Fell down, with a bull at his heels. When trying to rise, He got quite a surprise, Learning something of what a cow feels. 78430 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Cyril Mountjoy A philosopher finding a stone, Bent over to look with a groan. This caught the eye Of a bull passing by, Who drove it in, straight to the bone. 78431 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Oddo Von Schlong TP9901 That bull has been altered, I hear, And he cannot avec plaisir; Serve the cows as he should, And bring on motherhood. This turned out to be a bum steer. 78432 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Jim Weaver Collection A bull said, "I'm Friesian. Are you?" His friend said, "I'm very cold too. Something warming we need When we finish our feed. A couple of Jerseys will do." 78433 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Funfax Limericks A milkmaid of Warnesbury Fair, Was an expert at riding bulls bare. Oh, how the bulls gallop, To give that dear trollop, A bounce on her sweet dairy-air. 78434 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL L1674 An athletic young girl of Papua, Invited a bull to pursue her. She vaulted the gate Just a little too late; And now when she laughs, she says, "Oo-ah!" 78435 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL I wonder who's kissing him now? It's probably Bessie, the cow. 44D udder; It can be no other, If Ferdinand Bull sees him -- POW! 78436 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Marlene The bull with his cock long and pink, The heifers he wanted to dink; He went sniffing about For the one the most stout, And found one in whose hole he did sink! 78437 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Jim Weaver Collection The rodeo clowns often laughed At their fellow, who walked with a staff. "That's what happens, my friend, When you're cleaved in the end By a horny bull's three-foot-long shaft." 78438 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Actaeon There once was a miss from Madrid, Who was dominated by her Id. She jumped in the ring; Grabbed the bull by his thing. Then I hate to relate what she did. 78439 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Pierce Evans "Quite the contrary," said Ferdi the bull, As his lips covered over in drool. "Take a lesson from Bessie, And this won't be so messy. So oblige me and lean over this stool." 78440 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Now Bessie, in the next stall, Couldn't believe what she then saw. Old Ferdi's long tool, Got wrapped 'round the stool, Then a doubled back knot 'round his balls. 78441 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Rebecca took off like a sprinter, And wouldn't be seen till next winter, Which Ferdi found fine, 'Cause he sticks to his kind. It took 6 months removing all splinters. 78442 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL A callow young farm lad named Jay Tried buggering a bull in the hay. But feeling real mellow, It rolled on the fellow -- They carted him off in a dray. 78443 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Armand E Singer 147 The new farmer's helper named Krull, Accidently was milking the bull. The farmer said, "Boy, you're dumb, You've milked the wrong one!" Said the boy, "But me whole buckets full!" 78444 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Scott Hendricks There once was a milkmaid from Tull, Who gave some extravagant pulls. Her dad died of fright At the horrible sight; His daughter was milking the bull! 78445 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Death Spawn T9801 Out where the tumbleweeds tumbled, There was an old spinster who humbled An old brahma bull, Whose dick she would pull; Instead of a moo he just mumbled. 78446 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Travis Brasell I once tried to fill a bucket; After a while I said "fuck it". Don't know how a bull Could get that pail full; They must need some cow to suck it. 78447 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL There was a young lady of Hull, Who was chased by a virulent bull; But she slipped on a stone, And found herself prone. Not to argue, but something more fanciful. 78448 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Edwardian Leer 072 There was a young lady of Spain Who tried it again and again. With a bull in the arena On TV, they would screen her. Doing what? Need I really explain! 78449 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL Arthur Pattaffy There was a young girl from Seattle, Whose hobby was sucking off cattle. But a bull from the South, Left a wad in her mouth That made both her ovaries rattle. 78450 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL L0647 In a meadow, a man named Llewellyn, Had a dream he was bundling with Helen. When he woke, he discovered A bull had him covered With ballocks as big as a melon. 78451 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL L0616 A noted torero named Janus, Was censored for conduct quite heinous. He was told, "On the bull, Use your sword, not your tool, And aim for the neck, not the anus." 78452 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - BULL A foolish young cowboy named Lear Put Spanish-fly in his beer. After drinking this potion, Overcome with emotion, He buggered six cows and a steer. 78453 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS G1269 Old Charlie, a jolly old bloke, Made love to a cow as a joke. He found pleasure divine With his friendly bovine; Now they call him the old cowpoke. 78454 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Stan I really would like to fuck you; But there's something that you'd have to do. Make a bellowing sound, As you stamp on the ground, And when you bend over, say Mooo. 78455 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS MrMalo Pasiphae, a queen in old Crete, Found her sex life somewhat incomplete, Until playing the cow For a bull taught her how To find pleasure incomparably sweet. 78456 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Quoth a cow in the marshes of Glynne, "All the world is divine, even sin. As a natural creature, I worship all nature, But most when the bullrush is in." 78457 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Conrad Aiken Said a cow in the breeding lot, "Dear, Don't count on much action in here. I was told times uncounted I'd find myself mounted, But they sure handed me a bum steer." 78458 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Grand Prix Lim 60 The vet'inary surgeon was stuck Right up to his shoulder in muck. "Oo arr", said the farmer, "Already she's calmer; Our Bessie were wantin' tha' fuck." 78459 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS She's waiting right now with her tail In the air. No excuse, you can't fail. If the size of your rise Cannot quite reach her thighs, Jack and Jill up yon hill have a pail. 78460 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Bestiality's your term, not mine, Though it lends itself to a rhyme. I'll leave you all now To go feed Les's cow. I'm coming, you lovely bovine. 78461 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Frank Fazed A Brahman who lives in Bombay, Shrieked with horror and fainted away, When he found that somehow He had buggered a cow. (Her "Moo" was what gave it away.) 78462 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Isaac Asimov We don't care 'bout the whys or the hows Of past dates; we want heres and nows. She went down, so you say, But it wasn't that way. 'Twas knees buckling on one of your cows. 78463 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Cheryl There was this young boy from Bombay, Whose name has come down to this day. For that singular lad, Though not actually "mad", Used his cow for a roll in the hay. 78464 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection The cow loved the boy from Bombay, And she really led him astray. But the lad liked another, So called in his brother, And they all messed around in the hay. 78465 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection There was a bull in the field that day; And he wanted to join in right away. But the lad called him mama, Who came and jumped onna! My God, what a terrible fray! 78466 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection A dairyman living in Slough Fell madly in love with his cow. He made love in a bed With the beast, it is said. But no one has quite explained how. 78467 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS G1325 I hope you won't think I am joking When I say my ranch got a soaking; Because of high water, I did what I oughter, And 'mooved' my herd with some cow poking. 78468 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis Brasell A lonely old cowboy named Stover Dropped face-down one day in the clover. That sounds sort of bad But his cattle weren't sad; His cow-poking days were all over. 78469 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Bill Backe-Hansen P9401 Parisian boulevards leafy Are home to cute Mimi and Fifi. But don't miss the chance Of les vaches en Provence, If your pleasures are somewhat more beefy. 78470 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Peter Wilkins Some people make sounds like a flake; They've been screwing cows, for God's sake. But if they should crash My big New Years bash, I'll cut up their ass for some steak. 78471 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Frank Fazed I love my sweet Daisy and Bess; They never complain about mess, Or utter a moo Until I am through, And that is so nice, I confess. 78472 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS My cow died today, she was twenty; I laid her to rest next to Dinty: I shed a few tears; Those girls through the years, Sure took my hot prod quite a-plenty! 78473 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Last night I came home to a piddle Of sperm that I found in the middle Of Old Bessie's stall (A piddle quite small) Left there by the vet -- Dr. Doolittle! 78474 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis In pastures and fields, by the score There are heifers and Bessies galore, Who need regular hoeing And to-ing and fro-ing; Such depths I intend to explore. 78475 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS I've often been asked: "What does stickin' A cow's cunt feel like if she's kickin' Her legs like a dancer?" Well folks, here's the answer: "A cow's cunt feels just like a chicken!" 78476 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis Brasell This is as bad as it gets. Some say I've an interest in pets. I do get the flutters Over Bess's fine udders, But pass up the rest with regrets. 78477 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Tutta A cowhand way out in Seattle, Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle. He said, "No, I can't fuck A lamb or a duck, But golly! It just fits the cattle. 78478 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS L0230 Some people just don't have a clue; To Iowegians, the big M is taboo. Their cocks they don't stroke, They just calmly drink Coke, While their sex partner's bellow out "Moooo!" 78479 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Faerie Oh, know thou Sir Geoffrey de Beers, The newly-crowned King of the Queers? He is off to do battle With a herd of prime cattle -- A frontal attack on their rears. 78480 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Armand E Singer 420 The cows gathered 'round, all forlorn. With the bull frozen there, they did mourn. The Jersey said, "Girls, If that huge tool unfurls, It's sure to be shriveled and torn." 78481 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection He sat by the old chicken coop, Watching birds and the butterflies swoop To service the flowers, For hours and hours; Then gave his new heifer some goop. 78482 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Tiddy Ogg I thought about this long and hard; I'm afraid from drinking you're barred. Not that I won't share But there's no milk there; Try Bessie in someone's barnyard! 78483 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Old Bessie is feeling quite sick, Yet mooed at the sight of my dick. I tried to suck cream -- She let out a scream, And busted my head with a kick. 78484 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Perhaps we could visit the stable And milk us a mare, if we're able. I'll plant my sweet carrot While studs you may stare at And dream you're full up with their cable. 78485 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Why is it you plant and I dream? Can it be that you know I'd scream? A mount by a horse Would squash me of course. This makes us the plant and dream team. 78486 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS You may want to protect your carrot; The mares may notice the disparate Size vis-a-vis studs Who have those small buds. They will refuse 24 carat! 78487 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS A man who was rather low-brow Fell in love with and married a cow. He said, "You may laugh But we just had a calf, And we're udderly happy right now." 78488 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Sylvia Honig A farmer in search of a hole Found a heifer with whom he could stroll. When his wife saw him grapple And insert his pineapple, The farmer wound up on the dole. 78489 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Actaeon Though sheep are quite cuddly enough And when young are quite pleasing to stuff. If you're looking for twat That's exceedingly hot, Then there's naught like young heifers to buff. 78490 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS In Texas, they speak with a twang And always use cowboy slang. When riding the range, It's not all that strange To see one poke heiffer poontang. 78491 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Mr Malo Well, stuffing and mounting, for Bess, Is business as usual, I guess. True, a new clientele Will now ring her bell; (cow-bell of course,) Those city gents she'll sure impress. 78492 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Poor Bess, she's crying her eyes out. And Bossy's lip droops in a cow pout. To say something shady, Like, "They ain't no lady," Shows you don't know what etiquette's about! 78493 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS A tittering trollop in Cactus Said, "A client told us when he lack us, He had heifers galore. He and hired hands could bore... Not much fun but it kept them in practice." 78494 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Grand Prix Lim 792 'Tis true, when your loins are on fire, A cow can quench sexual desire. But there comes a time When writing a rhyme, Can oft lift you're spirits much higher! 78495 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Observer When I watch my cows as they graze, I gaze in a passionate daze. And I, if depressed, Will fast get undressed, So more than my spirits can raise. 78496 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis Brasell Since mad cow disease is so crappy, I treat all my heifers to snappy And healthy injections And hands-on inspections, In order to keep them gals happy. 78497 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis Brasell A young agricultural stevedore Was loading some bulls bound for Ecuador. He hid in the hold And when he felt bold, He started to thrust like a picador. 78498 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection But best is our lovable Bess; She has udders I love to caress. And she flutters her eyes As I plunder her thighs, And she goes like a fucking express! 78499 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection A very strange lad from Glasgow, Took all of his meals with his cow. He explained, "It's uncanny, She's so like Aunt Fanny!" But he didn't indicate how. 78500 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS George Robey I tried an old "milker" one day, As it bent down to pick up some hay. I know that I shoulda Caressed it's sweet udder, 'Cause milkers expect the foreplay! 78501 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Young Bessie, who lives on the prairie, Is massive, gigantic and hairy; With bosoms and thighs Of enormous great size, And a cunt which is horribly scary. 78502 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS It's huge and it's wet and it's hot; A gigantically cavernous twat. When the lips are spread out, There's no shadow of doubt; They could suffocate one on the spot. 78503 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Oh, we are the ladies bovinus; We love when the men stand behin' us. And with utmost charm Insert their left arm Far as possible up our vaginas. 78504 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS And we think it's pretty damn neat, When you suck on our pendulous teat. Squeezing hard every night, While our milk shoots - don't bite! You old goat! Did I just hear you bleat?!? 78505 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Old Bessie's been sold and I miss her; No more I'll be able to bliss her. Though the snag, I'll avow, About fucking a cow, Is the irksome long walk just to kiss her. 78506 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Peter Wilkins There was an Old Man of Aoster, Who loved a large Cow, but he lost her; When they said, "Can't you see, She was not meant for thee?" He selected another from his roster. 78507 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Edwardian Leer 073 The secret he's never revealed, Such trickery's best left concealed, But old farmer Corning's Up early these mornings, To turn his cows into a field. 78508 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS The men who live in Texass Decline every feminine pass. They're not into girls With loverly curls, Perferring to shag a cows ass. 78509 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS We can't help it if they prefer cows; Some of them do it with sows! Like Scots with their sheep, I think they're too cheap. No money for girls, just for plows. 78510 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Faerie This guy, with the name Townsend Scudder, Was just late last night heard to mutter, "Although she is messy, I'm hiring Bessie, So I'll have my very own udder!" 78511 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Marlene Lewis Well, Bess is mad, and with good cause, Your 'payment,' folks say, has it's flaws; You boffed that old girl, Then turned in a whirl, And ran without even applause. 78512 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS In the field stood our Bessie, in heat, But the bull stalked away in defeat. Because after me He surely could see, There was no way in hell, to compete! 78513 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS A cow is much easier to please; You're less apt to get a disease. They're much less demanding. You fuck 'em while standing; There less wear and teaar on your knees. 78514 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS MrMalo For two or three weeks I had wooed My dear Bessie. "I love you", I cooed. But she chewed on the cud as I played with her udders And told me, "I'm not in the mooed." 78515 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Peter Wilkins Farmboys, they didn't turn queer; When rejected they turned to the steer. But I'll tell you right now, Between pussy and cow, There isn't much diffence, my dear. 78516 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS MrMalo Said a cowpuncher punching a cow: "I wish that somehow they'd endow My frau with a bogey As good as this dogie, Or as fine as that suckalin' sow!" 78517 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Grand Prix Lim 776 G1217 I don't understand why now Your newfound attraction to a cow. Or horses, or sheep. Did Little Bo Peep Go off and leave you the sow? 78518 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Some posts are hot, and how! Perversions, diversions, Oh wow! Here is the skinny: If you can't get any, You can have sex with my cow! 78519 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Les Stewart When I watch my cows as they graze, I gaze in a passionate daze. And I, if depressed, Will fast get undressed, So more than my spirits can raise. 78520 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis Brasell It's not only cattle she'd raise, Nor would it be wheat, corn or maize. It would be my rod Who'd give her the prod, As soon as she started to graze. 78521 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Said a Hindu in heat in Bombay, "I've prayed for a lay the whole day! Now I'll have one, I vow, With the first sacred cow, That looks gentle, and gets in my way!" 78522 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS A cantankerous wrangler named Howes, (Sure it strains what the Good Book allows,) Strewed the juice of his gism On the trail they call Chisholm, So enamoured was he of young cows. 78523 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Armand Singer P0402 The cows have gone on strike again 'Cause there are no bulls in the pen. They order by mail Semen in a pail And Bessie's damn tired of men. 78524 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS The ordering semen by mail For animals they say can't fail. I don't want that stuff 'Cause it's not enough; By damn, I'd want the whole male! 78525 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS A male? Here I stand flesh and bone You don't like getting your semen alone? Come, I've a fresh batch Warmed up for your snatch; Just lie back, and feel free to moan. 78526 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Now I think this is better by far Than ordering the semen from a jar No need to worry For I'm in no hurry I'll give several times past what's par. 78527 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS This morning I put dear old Bess on A boxcar ('cause she made a mess on My pants near my groin) To ship to Des Moines: She needs to be taught a good lesson. 78528 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS I've heard that the word mission Means less about God than position. Except for the Georgia Cracker, He prefers "a la vaca," In the genteel Southern tradition. 78529 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Jambor P9009 A perverted farmer from Anjou Threatened his cow with a screw. The cow was disgusted, Her butt badly busted, And she sprayed the farmer with doo-doo! 78530 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Mr. Blister You might think that nooky is sweet, Till you've tried the other white meat. So after sweet Bessie, Get totally messy. The squeals and the grunts are quite neat! 78531 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Last weekend I went to a luau, Which prompted me making a new vow: Since pigs on the grill Don't give me a thrill, I'll stay home and boff my old moo cow. 78532 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS With this talk about pigs, I daresay, I had feared that you'd gone astray. 'Cause a true country stud Just won't roll in the mud, If it's that, or a roll in the hay. 78533 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Observer It seems that you have concurred, That cows, are what are preferred... The world's been made right, And we'll all sleep at night, Knowing you are out there, riding herd. 78534 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Observer We want milk with some cream but no curds, So farmers speak soft gentle words To their cows while they're pokin', And the grass they are tokin' Makes it good with the stench of cow turds. 78535 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Jim Weaver Collection The love of my life is a Holstein; The milch that she gives is all mine. I clean off the mudder; Drink straight from her udder; Time wastes if I fill up a stein! 78536 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS There once was a young man from Cowes, (Isle of Wight) Who had a penchant for fat cows. One he did one day Out there in the hay, And the cow kept as quiet as a mouse. 78537 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS R Rezel In Sandown and Ventnor and Ryde, Plus most of the southwestern side, You'll not find a lass With half as much class As she with the leathery hide. 78538 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Tiddy Ogg So your wife won't provide what you seek? Go see Bessie, I hear she's quite cheap. And your marital loss You can blame me because, I've been shagging her three times a week. 78539 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS F Ormatsee When Bessie was well under-age And my needs I would have to assuage I'd go stand on a pail, Lift her under-age tail And her tightness I'd test with my gauge. 78540 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Er...Pet? Got distracted somehow, When I saw this voluptuous cow; For I have to confess That I thought it was Bess; It seems years since I gave her a plow. 78541 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Peter Wilkins Her bovine caresses I miss, Not to mention her sloppy wet kiss; And the thought of her udders Is giving me shudders Of lustful and heavenly bliss. 78542 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Peter Wilkins Can you wait while she loosens her grip? When she does I will do up my zip. Oh my love, I'm ashamed To have got so inflamed; But the sight of her caused me to flip. 78543 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Peter Wilkins No matter how hard the bull tried, Could not make the heifer his bride. She spurned his big meat, Went off in retreat; The bull stood and watched the cowhide. 78544 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Travis Brasell A loathsome young lady named Lou, Had titties that hung to her shoe. And her cunt was a wow, For it sagged like a cow, And when fucked from behind she would moo. 78545 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Albin Chaplin 3024 G0384 Is Bessie a woman or cow? I would like an answer right now. If a cow she would be Then her udders I see; It's what gets you a going, I vow. 78546 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Good old Bessie's a cow, I'll tell you; Check those udders and ring-a-dang-doo! If you know how to stroke it, And bold enough to poke it, Her 'moo' can't be matched by an ewe! 78547 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS As one of the fellows who ploughs The furrows of those Gallic cows, You take it from me, I'd much rather pee On sweet Babette's bushy eyebrows. 78548 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS To his young son, said old man Cecil, "You're humping old Bess like a diesel. You won't be so bold, Son, when you get old, 'Cause if you back don't hurt, your knees'll. 78549 ZOOPHILY - BOVIDAE - COWS Observer There once was a Bactrian camel, Who was bound by no fetter or trammel. When he tried to make hay, In his Bactrian way, His wife said, "Make me; I'm a mammal." 78550 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE L1663 At the zoo a sheep fucker named Stumps, From the rest of the staff took his lumps. He claimed the best mammal Was the Bactrian camel, Invariably good for two humps. 78551 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Albin Chaplin A camel! My God you've been blessed; She'll suck and she'll fuck with great zest. A small sacrifice, Her arseholes not nice, And her breath will not leave you impressed. 78552 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE On the plains of north-central Tibet, They've thought of the strangest thing yet. On the ass of a camel, They pour blue enamel, And bugger the beast while it's wet. 78553 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE L1673 The Arab girl started to drool, When the Sheik let her feel of his tool; But she soon wore a frown; She found it was brown; He'd buggered his camel, Abdul. 78554 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Dick Potts P8511 A habit obscene and bizarre Has taken a hold of papa. He brings home young camels And other odd mammals, And gives them a go at mama. 78555 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE L0580 A wily old shiek of Arabia, Said, "My eunuchs tell me there may be a Great dearth of Circassians, To surfeit my passions. But my camel's here--labia are labia." 78556 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Isaac Asimov There once was a Tunisian Bey Who spoke thus, "There is one thing I'll say. Women are great, Small boys are first-rate, But a camel is how you say?, OK!" 78557 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Arthur Deex P8407 Miss Murgatroyd Ramsbottom-Crump, A disastrously woebegone frump, Had a face like the back Of a bus and a crack That inspired only camels to hump. 78558 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE The one insurmountable snag? Not a camel in sight (what a drag); Until one day at four Came a knock at the door; It was old Mr. Mustapha Shag. 78559 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE And with him a camel who saw Through the crack in the half-open door, How delightful a hump Was Miss Ramsbottom-Crump, And excitedly started to roar. 78560 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Miss Murgatroyd's boat-race lit up As she said, "Holy moses, my cup Runneth over with lust." And so saying she thrust Down her bloomers, turned round and said. "Tup." 78561 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE A tup!? 'Twas one helluva screw, As young Humphrey the camel went through Her like nobody's biz, Squirting gallons of jizz With such force that he split her in two. 78562 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Miss Murgatroyd Ramsbottom-Crump And young Humphrey continued to hump 'Til they both passed away And were buried, they say, With his todger still filling her rump. 78563 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE To dally with llamas ain't easy, Especially if heights make you queasy. It's hard to feel randy So high in the Andes, With vertigo, snow and winds freezy. 78564 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Tiddy Ogg A zoophile zoohand named Granger Had weekly set-tos by the manger; His actions hebdomadary (weekly) Involved an old dromedary; Said he, "I come not as a stranger." 78565 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Armand E Singer 666 A zoophile who worked as a farrier, Thought mare cum was sweeter than Perrier. But a trip to the zoo, And a camelid screw, Spawned a yen for some nice dromederriere. 78566 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Abu in the desert does dwell, Where oft he does ride his camell. When the beast is in heat, She will freely excrete A garnish that makes his meals smell. 78567 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE The Sailor P0306 A camel may very well be, A ship of the desert, you see. The female's the one, Deserving this pun. Full of Arab semem, is she. 78568 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Larry Davis P8508 The he-camel's sex life is painful, methinks; His chief inclination's to bugger the Sphinx. Females of the breed So seldom get seed, Because he-camels smell -- and a she-camel stinks. 78569 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A humpbacked old prophet named Samuel Had the habit of humping his camu-el. The congregation was furious-- "Miscegenation! Injurious! And expelled him from Temple Emmanuel. 78570 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE G2495 The Harvard don down at El Dim, Oh, wasn't it nasty of him, With the whole harem randy, The sheik himself handy, To muss up a young camel's quim? 78571 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE L0593 Don't stand in the way, all you lasses, Or that which comes will, when it passes, Impregnate each one Without any fun, And we will have llamas in masses. 78572 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Telling camels apart, it is true, Is quite simple therefore, entre nous. The whole task of course, Like dealing with whores, Is a question of "one hump or two?". 78573 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Loren Fitzhugh P0007 Gonzo is not very silly; He's left and he's gone to Chile. He won't wear pajamas, But he'll put young llamas On the end of his hard raging willy! 78574 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE That sweet llama's name is Estella; His passion she can always quella. And when he gets off From another fun boff, He tells his Estell' "muchos bella!" 78575 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE There once was a human spittoona, Fucked a llama -- also a vicuna. He then knocked on the door Of a dirty old whore, And reamed the poor bitch without scruna. 78576 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE G1329 A boy had a llama named Binky, Whose cunny was sticky and inky. Perhaps it was this: He often would miss And slinky his twink in Bink's stinky. 78577 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Peruvians live in the heights And often are bulging their tights. Though again Sissy Chris May give them a miss -- With llamas, they get their delights. 78578 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Archie A New Jerseyite born in Paramus, Offered all of us one of life's dramas. He went to the zoo, And before a long queue, Of men, he screwed one of the llamas. 78579 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Isaac Asimov This esteem, I am sorry to say Is one sided. In a recent survey Of one hundred llamas (Some really hot mamas) Ninety-six rated Bruno a bum lay. 78580 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Michael Weinstein P8507 They sing of their old "Llama Mater" And the perverts who oft masturbate her. This camelid's nethers Are softer than feathers. With fingers and phallus they sate her. (satyr?) 78581 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Actaeon INTERNECINE wars often trammel The Mideast, where a male mammal Will fiercely defend And fight to the end To see who will sleep with the camel. 78582 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Chris Papa "Got a sex life?" I asked a poor farmer, Who lived in Majorca near Parma. He said, "Had a goat, But it chewed up my scrot; I swapped it next day for a llama. 78583 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Peter Wilkins He sobbed, did this scrotumless farmer. I waited until he felt calmer. He ventured, "It's only A stop-gap (I'm lonely) Until I can pay the embalmer. 78584 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Peter Wilkins "You mean the poor llama's no more? It's a dead 'un?" I asked. He said "Sure. But I'm ugly as hell So this llama is, well, The only sure way I can score." 78585 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Peter Wilkins This embalmer, he said to the farmer, "I've made of your llama a charmer... I've installed a device That's sure to entice, 'Neath the tail of that motionless llama." 78586 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Tutta Gioia The she-camel wept copiously For her back was as flat as could be. Sobbed she, "It's discouragin' Remaining a virgin! I've never been humped, as you see." 78587 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Jim Menger P9207 There was a young priest in Algiers, Who buggers his camels left ears. He says with a grin "I know it's a sin, But from AIDS, you see I have no fears." 78588 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Jim Weaver Collection "I'll hump," said a sheik named Algore, "My camel inside this feed store." But the camel, named Betty, Had two humps already And she wasn't having no more. 78589 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Michael Weinstein P8407 A camel I met at the zoo Agreed to my invite for two. She asked me to tea And looked coyly at me, Asking, "Will that be one hump or two?" 78590 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Peter Wilkins There once was a sheik from Dubai, Thought he'd give his camel a try. A cantankerous mammal, No way that that camel Would kneel. So the prize was too high. 78591 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Annie Jay Across burning sands camels pack-- These strange "ships of the desert" will track. They have been rightly billed For they often are filled With semen, they say, from Iraq. 78592 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Bob Giandomenico P9206 An inveterate smoker named Hamal Was asked had he sampled a Camel. He replied that he had And it wasn't too bad, But the sheep was a much better mammal. (Camel cigarettes) 78593 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1145 I went up to pet a young llama, Not knowing 'twould end in such drama. She wanted to mate, Her estrus was great... Of a hybrid she'll soon be the mama. 78594 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE OgniGioia A silly New-Ager assumed she'd want To find her a lama with whom to chant. But a spelling mistake Led to heartbreak And a tryst with a wooly-haired ruminant. 78595 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Don Moore P9011 If you want to make love to a camel, Avoiding both trouble and trammel, Do not be concerned If at first you are spurned; If the Mister won't, surely the Ma'am'll. 78596 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Norm Storer A promiscuous person named Willy, Had a dong that was simply a dilly. He would take on all mammals Was partial to camels, But they never could tolerate Willy. 78597 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE L0661 I would not revise or else trammel, Your tale of the maid and hoofed mammal. She liked to get paid, No matter who laid, But said she'd "walk a mile for a camel." 78598 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Chris Papa The Saudi Arabian prince, Ali Ben Eer Before, ever since He was screwed in his flannels By herds of wild camels, Walks round with a smile and a mince. 78599 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Peter Wilkins I would not make love with the camels; They are not polite like most mammals. They spit in your face And, in any case, They don't say thank you; they're wham-bammels. 78600 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Evita, the Argentine farmers' Wife, normally sleeps in pyjamas; But when he is away, She strips off for a day, Of licentious indulgence with llamas. 78601 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Peter Wilkins There was a poll-taker named West, The preference for Camels did test. Of ten doctors who tried, There were nine satisfied, But one still felt women were best. 78602 ZOOPHILY - CAMELIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1185 My sweet old hound that I've pursued Each evening, just came in and chewed My limerick file, And then with a smile, She barked, saying: "Now who's been screwed?" 78603 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Young Jimmy is havin' a tup; He's stickin' it all the way up; He likes 'em petite But that's no way to treat Such a beautiful pedigree pup. 78604 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE A horny old dog breeder Dan, Rammed his prick up his faithful dog's can, Then he lay down serene, While his tool was licked clean. Surely dog is the best friend of man. 78605 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin For Bowser, a lady named Joan Bent over to pick up a bone. But she met with disaster For Bowser was faster, And he had a big bone of his own. 78606 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1152 A dog-loving lady named Glass, Had a pooch that was really first class! She'd trained him in a week To sit, fetch, and speak, And to bury his bone in her ass! 78607 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Cruelty Jones There was a young fellow named Radwan Whose wife was a mean and a bad one. He could stand all the slog, Making love to a dog, But he could not make love to a mad one. 78608 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1174 My German Shepherd had no clue, That being balless meant no screw. He still tried to jump Any dog for a hump; Just like some guys I once knew. 78609 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Carol They say that they love me and yet, They're sending me off to the vet, To chop off my bollocks, Curtailing my frolics, I've had with their daughter, Annette. 78610 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Peter Wilkins "You're about to debollix my poochy -- Now he'll get no more hoochy nor coochy", Blubbered Annette, While petting the vet. "Can we sell off the snippings to Gucci?" 78611 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Brian A descendant of old Edward Lear Once tattooed a cat on her rear... When she laid her dog Towser He fanged at the mouser, And bit of the rear of Miss Lear. 78612 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Grand Prix Lim 848 My lover, when mounting me, slipped; He scrabbled and grasped for a grip. And thence knowest I One more reason why Those dew claws have got to be clipped. 78613 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Lassie's Lover TP9804 A dog that could speak, once began To stay from his home for a span. Said his trainer, irate, "Tell me why are you late?" Said the dog, "I've been fucking the man." 78614 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1120 There was a young woman, a writer, (feminine blighter) Who trained her pet dog to delight her. She'd suck and she'd lick (She would cream her own pool) At his lengthening prick, (While she sucked off his tool) Then his cock in her cunt would excite her. 78615 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE G1204 It seems a lewd lady named Hines Loves to fuck all the larger canines. It's a manlike sensation Without procreation, Which fits in with her feelthy designs. 78616 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE G1253 My lover, while mounting me, slipped And left me feeling quite gypped. He landed instead On the dog by the bed, And decided he'd rather fuck "Kip". 78617 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Ms. Pamela Anderson Lee Was the name of a bitch by the sea. She would get into trouble, With dogs on the double, For they knew that she was for free! 78618 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection I'm a good pup and know a few tricks, Like fetching a couple of sticks. Can sit up and beg, Won't pee on your leg, And might give your dick a few licks. 78619 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE In bed climbed the dog of Miss Grogg; This put her young man in a fog. When he said to her, "Darling, Just why are you snarling?" She said, "Why are you fucking the dog?" 78620 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1143 Dogs are man's best friend in life, But surely it must cause a great strife, And a shock to the mind, To come home and find That your "best friend" is fucking your wife! 78621 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Kaylin Brandon There's a gent in our town, I do fear; Has a fetish for doggies, I hear. He's dropping his trousers For all kinds of bowsers, All female, of course! He's not queer! 78622 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Allen Wolverton A girl took her dog into bed And proceeded to give him good head. Said the lass: "I've a thought-- Why don't we tie the knot?" But the pun irked the dog, so he fled. 78623 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Actaeon There once was a man from Corfu, Who liked to give bitches a screw. After every good fuck, He paid her a buck And for buying her pups, he paid two. 78624 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE A dog, busy licking his crotch, Thought to himself, "What a botch! I keep showing my owner How to handle my boner, But he'd just rather sit there and watch!" 78625 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Sleeping Beauty, that bitch, Woke up with a vaginal itch. While sleeping around, She'd make love to a hound, And woke up with the mutt in a ditch! 78626 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Pretty Grimm The hobby of Horace McDuck -- Unsticking two dogs that are stuck. To do this you need Exceptional speed, Two dogs in the road, and a truck. 78627 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Irving Superior P8708 A real clever fellow was Bright -- He did almost everything right: With dances, finances, Or canine romances, To see him hump dogs was a sight. 78628 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Armand E Singer 804 Having satisfied that primal itch, My leg began to jump and twitch. Much to my chagrin, My dog was fucking my shin For so long, I presumed it a bitch. 78629 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Copulating with canines, a must; Fornicating with Fido my lust. Our motto is clear; Something I hold dear. Simply put, "In Dog we Thrust". 78630 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE My dog was found humpng his mother, Thus his son was also his brother. So don't tell me you feel Mother Nature's genteel, With canine incest to discover. 78631 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Bob Mornington There once was a boy called Lee, Who practised bestiality. He found a nice dog;, Went in for the snog., 'Twas the sole way he could get sex free. 78632 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE A rapist attacked spinster Fogg Who was taking her dog for a jog. She was left with disgust, For this man filled with lust, For it seems he fucked only her dog. 78633 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1136 A police woman driving in Dover Gazed coyly one night at her Rover. She parked near the track, Then climbed in the back, And her big K-9 unit took over. 78634 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Actaeon There one was a young man named Mitch Who decided the Forest was his niche. So he took his dog home And gave her his bone, Saying, "Don't you know life is a bitch!" 78635 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Toccatta A dog, who could talk, I once petted; He told me how much he regretted All the pups not created, By the bitches not mated, And all of the posts he'd not wetted. 78636 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE An odd sort of fellow named Daniel Once tried to make out with a spaniel. He argued in court That the cause of this sport Was a misprint in his marriage manual. 78637 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Don Boen P8112 P9108 A lonely old maid name of Flock Was given advice by the doc, "Since you're fearful of men It must be a dog, then, And be sure that he has a big cock." 78638 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1134 My dog is a Jack Russell cross, He likes to believe he's the boss. His 'nads are still on, But soon they'll be gone, And he'll feel such a terrible loss. 78639 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection He's a wicked and horny young hound; I once caught him shagging the ground. He's only a year, But quite soon I fear, He will lose them before they are found. 78640 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Had many a bitch by the score; So many, it made me quite sore. Got caught in a net, Carried off to the vet, Now my tail doesn't wag any more. 78641 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE A sensitive spinster of Dover, Held her head in a sack till 'twas over. So she wasn't to blame That her paramour's name Wasn't Nigel or Dick, it was Rover! 78642 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Paul Chernoff L0027 The Queen's little junk dog's no more! The Princess's doggie did score! The Queen's face turned red; She yelled, "Off with his head!" Who knows who had to clean up the gore! 78643 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Allen Wolverton The spinster had a happy condition, On all fours, dog fashion, in coition. Said she, "It is true, There's more ways to screw, But my dog knows just this one position." 78644 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Menger P9206 As doggy looked right at my rear, His lips curled down in a leer. As I was a kneeling, His balls I was feeling, I said "Dog, I'm really not queer!" 78645 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE CM As I think to myself "This is rich. I got fleas, got shed fur, got an itch." But I'm down on my knees Begging my pooch "Please, Hop on board, hump me now, I'm yo bitch"! 78646 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE CM While taking my dog for a walk, I like to play with his cock. I just hope no one sees What I do when he pees. I can do without the jealous talk. 78647 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Around here we all have a saying, To watch out for the stag named Actaeon. He'll read you his poem, And insist that you know 'em, While with your dog's weenie he's playing. 78648 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A thoughtless old harlot was Fogg; It seems that her mind slipped a cog. For when business was slack, She slipped out in the back Where they say that she put on the dog. 78649 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1135 Said a girl to her friends all agog "I live in a sexual fog. My life is merrier With my new terrier, 'Cause I'm always putting on the dog." 78650 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Tom Patton P0204 There was a young man from Bangore, Who was tired and said to his whore, "If you'll only roll over, I'll get my dog Rover, And you can have six inches more." 78651 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE L0577 Said Rover, backscuttling Miss Fitch: "While I greatly prefer a hot bitch, My normal delight Is a cunt, hot and tight, And it doesn't make much difference which." 78652 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE G1236 There was a young maid acrobatic, Who said in her manner emphatic, That her best kind of sex Was to screw her dog Rex, While she stood on her head in the attic. 78653 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024 P8307 There once was a fellow named Floyd -- Loved dogs and became overjoyed When he met Boss's pup, But he queered the bitch up, And now the poor man's unemployed. 78654 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Margaret A. Murdock P8309 The sexy young lovely, Miss Bending, Remarked when she saw some dogs fending, "If that bitch get delight Like I do every night, No wonder she stands there up-ending!" 78655 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Grand Prix Lim 677 There once was a young man named Mark, Who loved nothing more than to park. He felt the attraction; He wanted some action, But all she would was to bark! 78656 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE danieljnolan My doggie makes sounds like a grunt, Then shits on my shoes, the damn runt; I'd shoot her, ya know, But where would I go When I needed me some strange cunt? 78657 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE "Oh come; let us go down to Dover. We'll lie on the cliff-tops in clover And watch as the cross- Channel ferrymen toss ... (Can you pump a bit harder, dear Rover?)" 78658 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE If somehow you feel like a misfit, Here's an answer, if you're willing to risk it: My dog licks his cock Till it's hard as a rock. You can too. Just give him a biscuit! 78659 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Tim There was an old maid of Vermont Who said, "I'll do just as I want. I let my dog Spot Lick my ass and my twat; And I do it in front of my aunt." 78660 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE My puppy oft-times makes me groan, "Don't chew that!" I regularly moan. But soon he'll be old Enough I am told, To teach how to bury his bone! 78661 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Lyonesse Teresa, I think that I've found A revenge against your man and hound. If you stuff his ass With a few shards of glass, They'll have one last go fucking round! 78662 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Our neighbors (who her shall be nameless) Have dogs who are utterly shameless; But I've watched them do't By their pool, without suit. I'm sure I don't know who's to blame less. 78663 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Lance Payne P8307 A dog ain't partickler 'bout gender, So taking the chance that he'll render You no use for stickin' Things bigger than chicken, Then let him fellate your parts tender. 78664 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE To train her male dogs to be nice, To each, Carol feeds lamb with rice. Then after they've fed, She takes them to bed, Where each humps her twat at least twice. 78665 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Peter Wilkins "What are those two dogs doing?" cried Willy. And his Mama said, "Hush! Don't be silly! He's letting her have it... And to think such a habit Produced you, makes me feel very chilly!" 78666 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Grand Prix Lim 526 There was a wee doggie name Mitch, Whose lineage was not very rich. From his toes to his head, It was clear he'd been bred From an ugly, though fun loving, bitch. 78667 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Arthur Deex P9203 There's no need to muzzle your mutt; It's foolish, I'm telling you what. Go ahead and unhitch The mouth of your bitch; It's human girls can't keep 'em shut. 78668 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE A randy young cowboy named Tex Was an addict of doggie-style sex. After years of pursuing This odd style of screwing, He wonders what t'would be like with girls? 78669 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE There was an old harlot inept Who broke down one day and she wept. For she slept like a log, And could not catch the dog Who was eating her snatch while she slept. 78670 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1150 There once was a lady of Dover, Who said to her husband, "Move over. I don't give a damn For the charms of a man. (penis of...) (Wheet Wheet) Come along, Rover. 78671 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE G1227 He heard, "Every dog has its day." And this thought soon led him astray. This man in disguise Met an early demise, When wife found the pooch he had laid. 78672 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE Old mother Hubbard's dog "Blue" Annoyed at no bones there to chew, Soon gave the old crone, A different kind of bone, And proved to be woman's best friend too! 78673 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE There was a young virgin named Fairdale Whose cunt would, when she was unbared, ail For cock; at this itch The virginal bitch Got her maiden cunt screwed by an airedale. 78674 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS G1233 A dog-lover filled to the brim Let his partner partake of the quim. He sighed with a wail As his favorite Airedale Drank a cupful of kindness from him. 78675 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection A dilemna for all Homo sapiens: Hetero or homo relations? A guy or a dame, Who cares? 'Tis the same. Myself, I'd prefer an Alsatian. 78676 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Lassie's Lover TP9804 There once was a dog, an Alsatian, Who loved to perform fornication. All year he did this, But for two weeks he'd miss, Since that's when he took his vacation. 78677 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS John Dohner P8709 There once was a girl from Wiscasset, Who had the most wonderful basset; His pet tricks were oral, And downright immoral, As his tongue was his most useful asset. 78678 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS There once was a fellow named Siegel, Who attempted to bugger a beagle, But the mettlesome bitch, Turned and said with a twitch, "It's fun, but you know it's illegal." 78679 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS L1671 There once was a Dutchman named Spiegle Who slept with an elegant beagle. As the crawled in bed, He wistfully said, "It'll be much better if you wiggle." 78680 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS L0650 A prudish young lady named Lynd Made claims that she never had sinned. Her affair with her beagle Was considered not legal, For he quit when he ran out of wind. 78681 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-1160 A much repressed maid from St. Mark Knew passions that waxed in the dark; She did things to her beagle Grotesquely illegal, While flat on her back in the park. 78682 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Armand E Singer 67 There was a young lady named Fleagle Who had an affair with a beagle. But she couldn't have sinned For he ran out of wind, And therefore this act was not legal. 78683 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024 G1238 When a devious fellow named Fleagle Proceeded to marry his beagle, He replied to the preacher, "Yes, I do take this creature," While the dog said, "You're sure this is legal?" 78684 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Cybergeezer A beagle pair wandered 'round here; Each sniffed at the other one's rear. A jump and a hump And a bump in the rump... They had six pups early this year. 78685 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Tiddy There was an old man from near here, Who got awfully drunk upon beer. He fell in a ditch And the son of a bitch Of a bulldog fucked him in the ear. 78686 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS L0606 Dog's happy, sniffing at tassles! Lickee-humpee! Twats or sweet ass'les! Then, George got the mange, So Meg made a change: A Chihuahua with a wet snout so facile! 78687 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS If from the right path you have strayed, And heavy your conscience has weighed, Unfurrow your brow, Stop littering now, And have that Chihuahua bitch spayed! 78688 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Larry Davis P8511 There was an old feminine blighter, Who trained a Chow dog to delight her. She would cream her own pool While she sucked off his tool -- How his cock in her cunt would excite her! 78689 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection The best way to get a French whore wet [Now, don't jump ahead, there's more yet To moist'ning her slot, While getting her hot!] Is tell her your cocker's a 'gourmet'! 78690 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS When Dan and his lady friend kissed, Her Dobermann could not resist To get in some licks too, So when time came to screw, The old bitch was put first on the list. 78691 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-1153 Her husband was never a sober man; Her love life seemed truly all over, man. But she walks down the street, There's a smile there so sweet -- And a smile on the face of her Doberman. 78692 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Writerman For revenge this guy named Frank Segal, Coached his doberman to drink Chevas Regal. When the dog got pie-eyed, He released him outside, To rape his dumb neighbor's pet beagle. 78693 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Laurence Craft Once I mounted a Golden Retriever; She made me swear I wouldn't leave her. The sound of our howls Could empty the bowels, When I got to stroking that beaver. 78694 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Said the chow to a collie named "Sleek," "That beau of whom you often speak; Have you heard from the guy?" Sleek said, "Yes indeed, I Had a litter from Rover last week!" 78695 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Martin B. Smith P8307 A musher from upper Sandusky, Came on to me, avid and musky. For a girl, she was cute, But I gave her the boot. I'd rather curl up with her Husky. 78696 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Lassie's Lover TP9804 There was a lad from Sandusky, Who wanted to mate with his Husky. "But because she's Siberian, Our goodbye was a teary one, 'Cause my daddy won't harbor a Rusky!" 78697 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon A lonely old trapper named Goggs Would hunt in the muskeg and bogs. He had huskies and sled But no woman to wed, And in time this man went to the dogs. 78698 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024 P8307 Took my Lab to the vet, Dr Reeve. He said "Castration's the cure, I believe." I looked at Rover, Who said, "Think it over. There are some balls I just can't retrieve." 78699 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection There once was a fellow named Tab, They caught him in bed with a Lab, They thought it disgusting, After a canine he was lusting, But think of the puppies they had. 78700 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection There's only just one thing more scary, Than a woman who's overall hairy. You wake up in the night, 'Cause you've had such a fright; You've just screwed your Labrador Larry. 78701 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Dudeshead The best thing about malamutes Is their ever-inquisitive snoots. They're cold and they're wet, But you never forget How it feels when they nuzzle your root. 78702 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Lassie's Lover TP9804 Suzie preferred canine action: Dachshunds for sure-clitted traction, But a Mastiff's long tongue Proved a G-spotting bung, Sue's labia-lapping distraction. 78703 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS There was a young girl nicknamed Noodle, Who'd fuck for merely a strudel. With her ass in the air, She'd buck like a mare, Too bad she was only a poodle. 78704 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS The old gay man was quite frugal; He would only suck on one noodle. His friends were disturbed And found it perturbed, That he'd only would suck off his poodle. 78705 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection There was an old Lady Moncrieff Who was wealthy beyond all belief. She spent much of her boodle On a long-peckered poodle Whose bollocks she hid with a leaf. 78706 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS G1287 A cute animal trainer, Miss Lee, Taught her poodle to speak fluently. When a man did abduct her And he floored her and fucked her, Said her dog, in tears, "What about me?" 78707 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-1158 Though Nell's belly is swelled, and she ain't telling With whom or with what she's been helling. But that nasty Miz Boggs Claims the girl diddles dogs, And it's due to a poodle from Snelling. 78708 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS G1334 There was a young lady named Florence, Who for fucking professed an abhorrence. But they found her in bed, With her cunt flaming red, And her poodle-dog spending in torrents. 78709 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS L0601 Transsexual Kate, from Bel Air, Owned miniature poodle, Pierre. She'd get the pooch hot, Then stuff in its knot, And carry it 'round like a pair. 78710 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Young Fifi from Paris owns oodles Of horny young puppy-dog poodles, All eager to hump Her in turn, up the rump, While she frantically diddles and doodles. 78711 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Peter Wilkins A captious young woman named Kewin Snapped: "Listen, I know what I'm doin'. As a vice, dogs are nice, But I've had poodles twice-- From now on I'll frig, and no screwin'!" 78712 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS G1264 No fellow could fuck with Miss Bright, For it seems that her cunt was too tight. So she called her retriever, Who sniffed up her beaver, And he licked on her pussy all night. 78713 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-1123 There once was a Duchess of Beaver, Who slept with her golden retriever. Said the choleric Duke, "These girls make me puke-- And but for the dog I would leave her." 78714 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS G1186 A beautiful Golden Retriever Asked a zooman if he would relieve her. He fingered her cunt, And she let out a grunt, Which turned on the dog's ham receiver. 78715 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection There was a young lady of Deever Who doted upon her retriever. In her manner sardonic She said 'twas Platonic, But not one of her friends would believe her. 78716 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin A runner who was quite a miler Vowed nothing would ever defile her. She was then offended, Virginity ended; Grabbed by a speedy rottweiler! 78717 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS CM They tell of a woman named Hauser Who didn't need much to arouse her. At the sight of some man Simply getting a tan, She up and attacked her pet schnauzer. 78718 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Armand E Singer 320 Joy's husband, right after he plows her, Jumps up and says stuff that just wows her; Like: "I'd like to watch Our friend lick your crotch!" So she whistles for Snoopy their schnauzer. 78719 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Travis Brasell An old lady's pet Giant Schnauzer Has a penis as big as a Mauser. When she bends down to pull it, It shoots white hot bullets, And the taste of his ammo sure wows her. 78720 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon There was a dog lover named Towser Whose girl was a charming arouser. When she asked him to state What he liked on their date, He said what he liked, was her schnauzer. 78721 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-0358 My neighbor's old Spaniel called Sparks, Lurks in bushes and hedges and parks, Where inflamed and impassioned With Bertie the Daschund, He scratches his bollocks and barks. 78722 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Peter Wilkins My preference (don't think me a sorehead) Still leans toward canine and purebred. I wouldn't exchange One Shar-Pei with mange, For all the bears in your bed. 78723 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS There once was a woman named Red, Whose dog followed her into bed. She didn't want to be peppered By the load from her shepherd, So she gave him a blowjob instead. 78724 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS J. Fitts The police dog of Officer Cotter Was trained as a copulate spotter. He would sniff with cognition An illicit coition, And would douse it with buckets of water. 78725 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-2956 There was a young fellow named Quinn, Who was living a bad life of sin. Not Murray or Lassie Could grease up his chassis, He much preferred Rin Tin Tin! 78726 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS There was a young girl from Ionic Who maintained a friendship Platonic. She went out with Emanuel, But was had by his spaniel, This experience was quaintly ironic. 78727 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin When asked to confess to his sin, The lover of spaniels did grin. "If it weren't for my Brittany, I just wouldn't get any, And her coat is much softer than skin. 78728 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon There was a young lady named Hensley Who put on a smoker intensely; What she did was a shocker With her cute little cocker, Who appeared to enjoy it immensely. 78729 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Albin Chaplin 3024-1149 A man feeling cold in Spenard, Made love to his huge St. Bernard. When he entered her ass, She released lots of gas; He was hoist on his lovers petard. 78730 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon An urbane springer spaniel named Billy Wooed a slinky saluki in Philly. But she sprang at the chance Of a swift spring romance, And a sheep dog won out willy-nilly. 78731 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Gail Koontz From the Kremlin, the rumors took wings; Their wolfhound were fellating the kings. It caused an uprising, But that's hardly surprising, Since Russia's quite used to such things. 78732 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon It seems that our neighbor, Miss Gray, Has odd sex desires, so they say. She delights in her folly With a pedigreed collie, And each year gives a litter away. 78733 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE G1218 There was a young girl from Dubal Who went to a masquerade ball. She commited a folly To dress like a collie;. She was had by a dog in the hall. 78734 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Albin Chaplin It's dollars to doughnuts, that Dolly, Will someday regret her low folly. This nympho craves men, But is known, now and then, To borrow the neighbor's big collie. 78735 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Grand Prix Lim 587 G1225 A girl known as Molly O'Maddy Was dicking her collie beau, Laddie. But after she came, She said, "I'm ashamed! To think that a Scot has so had me." 78736 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Lassie's Lover TP9804 I think Lassie's lover has gone; She's bitching that she's getting none. With Balto away And no sign of a stray, She hopes that the cat has a dong. 78737 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Big Bob TP9807 I tell you, I'm lucky, my chums; My Lassie's a plum among plums. The best of her tricks Goes beyond fetching sticks; When I ball -- I mean CALL -- her, she comes! 78738 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Lassie is really a male. What an exciting tale! When with a collie, It can be folly To find an opening to nail. 78739 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Since porno is no longer sin In Denmark, their movies are in. They will make one, first class, Where a man licks dogs ass, And where Lassie will fuck Rin Tin Tin. 78740 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Albin Chaplin 3024-2303 Due to her prior night's folly, A student at college was jolly. She'd spied the school's mascot, Doffed cap, gown, and ascot, And was seized by a Carnegie-Mellon collie. 78741 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Actaeon Sorry Lassie, I must now tell my tale; 'Twas a white lie, so your ass I could nail. But it was not a fib, That I can not have kids; Of course I can't, bitch, I'm a male! 78742 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE A very low dachshund named Wally Fell in love with an over-sized Collie. Though his passions grew madder, The story turned sadder, For his dogged attempts were sheer folly. 78743 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE John P8307 I advise Lassie's Lover take note Of the Dog Breeders Handbook; I quote: "You should muzzle dog's jaws, When you mate them because If frustrated, they'll go for the throat." 78744 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Lassie's Lover, I thought I was bad, With all of the bitches I've had. But I just don't know how You could screw with a cow; So I'm going to tell Lassie, you cad! 78745 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE "Mounting canines may seem quite un-classy When the option's a feminine chassis, But I'd trade," exclaimed Wally, "My gal for a collie." Well, they say every lad needs his Lassie. 78746 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - COLLIE Rowdy Jack Once a Chihuahua and Great Dane, By mistake together were lain. Great Dane jumped upon her, Pledging friendship and honor But Chihuahua she died of the pain. 78747 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Chairman Steve There once was a Polack named Wayne, Who dated a girl from Tulane. When she said her passion Was going dog-fashion. He went out and bought a Great Dane. 78748 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE David Miller P8208 To the poundkeeper said Shiela Lane, "Your suggestion, you jerk, I would fain... I view sexual connection With delight and affection With a man, Sir, but not a Great Dane!" 78749 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Grand Prix Lim 511 Cried a hopeless young nympho in Spain, Who nightly took on a Great Dane: "Caramba! senor, I am just a dog whore, So what is the use to complain?" 78750 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE G1327 The anger of Dribblecock Frouse We excuse, for he found in the house, A Great Dane astride His lovely young bride, Who cried, "Fuck you, Frouse!" to her spouse. 78751 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE G1241 A harried old hooker named Hicks Remarked of the guys in the sticks: "They give me arse pains, For they bring in Great Danes And watch 'em dog fuck me for kicks! 78752 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE G1803 A dog screwed a lady named Madder Who stooped as she worked near a ladder. 'Twas the neighbor's Great Dane But her search was in vain, For a hair of the dog that just had her. 78753 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Albin Chaplin 3024-1161 There once was a poodle named Dot, In love with a Great Dane named Spot. When she saw Spot's erection, She said, with dejection, "This Dane ain't as great as I thought." 78754 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Jim Weaver Collection Said the toy poodle to the Great Dane, "Your altitude I'd never gain! But your scent in full heat Is a sweet, sexy treat, So don't think, my dear, I complain." 78755 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Grand Prix Lim 258 A somnolent damsel in Ewing Dreamed her Great Dane was on her and screwing. She awoke and discovered The beast had her covered, And her asshole was plastered with blueing! 78756 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE G1232 A Shar-pei with the mange may feel good, To a puppy who would be a stud. But if you want to profess Your animal prowess, Try a Great Dane, that should strain your manhood! 78757 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE I've just had a fling with Lorraine; I found her much tighter than Jane. This sure was a tease, The I realized that she's A poodle and not a great dane. 78758 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Tiddy Ogg When I was real young, I did beg A kiss from my nymphet friend, Meg; My daddy did say: "Puppy love's okay, As long as you don't lift your leg!" 78759 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE That Meg, now she's grown, gained great fame; She's in the theatrical game. On stage she strips nude, In a manner quite lewd, And is rogered by George, her great dane. 78760 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE The doctors say varicose veins In women are caused by the strains They make when they're squeezing Their legs for the pleasing They get from those massive Great Danes. 78761 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - DANE Travis Brasell "Oh suck me!" demanded Denise And spread them out 90 degrees. Her face all aglow; But I nearly said no, On account of the smell and the fleas. 78762 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Peter Wilkins But being a gentleman, I Got Rover to sniff at her thigh; Excited he licked her And eagerly dicked her... "Oh thank you," she said with a sigh. 78763 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Peter Wilkins Well, friend I have an old dog Whose only companion's a frog. He'd love a young bitch Who would cure his old itch, 'Cause he's tired of me lickin' his log. 78764 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Jim Weaver Collection I run with the pack canis lupus; In the Canine family they do group us. I became Alpha-Male Because of my tail And loved to wolf down female's pumas. 78765 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING He entered the bitch doggie style, Then Rover barked out with a smile. "If I cannot bury My bone in a cherry, The butt-sniffing's not worth my while." 78766 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Now Jeanie, folks say, lays in clover, Enjoying a male's tongue all over Her body that's nude. But she thinks it is rude When the dogs leaves to sniff at old Rover. 78767 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Travis Brasell I have an old dog, name of Blue Who'll mate with fish, snake, or emu. Still he'll leave a bitch flat, To run past a cat, 'Cause he'd rather lap pussy than screw. 78768 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Ronald Jay P8307 "Poor Fido, your dog, was castrated Before he'd a chance to be mated? How very unfair!" Said my ladyfriend Claire, "No, he loves self-fellation", I stated. 78769 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING The cops nabbed a scruffy old freak, For fellating dogs by the creek; His pack moaned a thous- And love-sick bow-wows; They pissed on the jail; it did reek! 78770 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING A couple blessed by St. Vitus Held a party, but didn't invite us. They gave their dogs head, On the floor and in bed: We'd have gladly licked up the detritus. 78771 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - LICKING Actaeon There was a young girl from Eutoxeter, Who one dreary night had a fox at her. She let out a squeal, For his cock was like steel, But she had quite a shock when the pox hit her. 78772 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD George Cowley What joy it must be for the fox When a dog and his vixen share locks. She'll get quite a lift From his seminal gift, Which he'll place in a warm furry box. 78773 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Actaeon A fox hound retired from the hunt, His olofactory lobes had grown blunt To the scent of the fox, But he still would sniff rocks, For the mystical fragrance of cunt. 78774 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD L0608 If girls, you have brushes with foxes, You'll find they have very small cockses. You'll find that such dearth Brings you staight down to Earth. Those for vixen must have tiny boxes. 78775 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Tiddy Ogg Foxes, especially males, Are always lifting their tails. They ask you to hump them, Then reach 'round and pump them. Their horniness just never fails. 78776 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Jim Weaver Collection Hyena girls, between their thighs, Have a clitoris of massive size. So like an erection, It's female perfection That even impreses gay guys. 78777 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Jim Weaver Collection A miner out looking for rocks Came down with a dose of the pox, Which he argues was due To a loose caribou When in fact 'twas a cute silver fox. 78778 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Hugh Oliver 119a The animal dentist, McTavity, Was known to give in to depravity. When a wolf was on scene To have her teeth cleaned, The dentist fill up all her cavities. 78779 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Jim Weaver Collection There was an old sinner from Crete Who sodomized she-wolves in heat. He'd insert his nose Plus fingers and toes, Then tickle their snatch with his feet. (Dante's Inferno, canto 14) 78780 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Armand E Singer 72 A wolf with a penchant for humans, Ended up fussing and fumin' When his Alpha female Was seen with raised tail And not for a wolf, but a new man. 78781 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Actaeon Wolves are such sex creatures; They have so many good features. Their tongues are for kissing; Their cocks are for pissing; For kinky sex, the're ideal teachers. 78782 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Jim Weaver Collection Some wolves enjoy watersports, Which is why there's wetspots on their shorts. They'll jack off in their briefs, Then find bladder relief, According to many reports. 78783 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - WILD Jim Weaver Collection A dog's life is alright with me, As long as I've hydrants for pee, Hot legs for some humping, A bitch who likes pumping, And biscuits and pussy for tea. 78784 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Randog Your bitch's erogenous zone Is something you'd best leave alone. For when she's in heat, And howling for meat, You'll just want to bury your bone. 78785 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES SFA Silly Sally thought up a new trick, Involving Old Duke's doggie dick. When they were done, Duke thought it more fun, Than rolling over or chasing a stick. 78786 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Mike Peerry "I long for caresses and licks And all of her sexual tricks. But if you think I'm sad, Poor Old Duke's got it bad, He's quit rolling over and chasing sticks." 78787 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Mike Perry I once had a boxer named Pete Whose habits were so indiscreet, That he'd nibble on shit Then lick my girl's clit, Then puke it all up at my feet. 78788 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller I once worked her into a heat, But old Pete shot me down in defeat. With his tongue a foot long, Neither mine nor my dong Had a prayer in Hell to compete. 78789 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller Said my girl, "Although you're very sweet, Your pal here just cannot be beat." The thought tends to sicken; My love took a licken' While I got tossed out on the street. 78790 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller Impossible, I would have thought, How a dog like a Dachshund, so short, Could have humped a tall Rott- Weiler bitch (did she squat?) But a pup's the result of his sport. 78791 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Those Dachshunds are smarter than foxes At ways of getting off their rocks-es. That Rottweiler bitch Did not miss a stitch, He taught her to back against boxes. 78792 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES I know this would seem a strange tale; Such love would seem destined to fail But in truth, I was there! And no bullshit! I swear! That dachshund was hung like a whale. 78793 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES For sex, Mildred found her salvation: Experiments led her to station Between her spread thighs, (With only two tries!) The genitals of her Dalmatian. 78794 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell Not a graduate from my school, That Mildred is really a fool. No need to insert Doggie dicks up her skirt; Peanut butter makes them lick and drool. 78795 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Carol According to your student, Grace, Your school is now void of pace; She said, "Peanut butter Is causing the clutter; It crams all the rooms case-by-case." 78796 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis I'm thinking -- don't want to be rash, But if you have some extra cash, Strawberry preserves Would sure soothe my nerves; I'd chase the dogs off in a flash. 78797 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Frank Fazed Jelly or jam just doesn't stick; Peanut butter is always real thick. You'll be feeling dreamy, But always use creamy, Or you'll get a chew, not a lick. 78798 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Carol My drinking once left me quite groggy; I dreamt I was having a doggy. I must say, furthermore, My ass was quite sore, And my underpants were rather soggy. 78799 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Doc And there on the bed a Great Dane, Whose dick was the cause of my pain. His tail was a-wagging; He'd liked that there shagging And wanted to do it again. 78800 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg As doggy looked right at my rear, His lips curled down with a leer. As I was a kneeling, His balls I was feeling, Said doggy, "I'm not really queer!" 78801 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES CM As I think to myself, "This is rich. I got fleas, got shed fur, got an itch." But I'm down on my knees, Begging Pooch "Please, Hop on board, hump me now, I'm yo' bitch!" 78802 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES CM Into the room trotted my spaniel; Not a cocker, but an English named Daniel. Wanted in on the fun, Licking my twat with his tongue, While the Dane's love only was anal. 78803 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Christopher Kraft A lady called Carol by name; Her pussy is in the fast lane. She teases the men, Jim, John and Ken, But in truth, she prefers a Great Dane. 78804 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Mulqueen Please now, with Carol don't screwdle, If you want to keep your wet noodle. She loves men, no doubt, But get the truth out -- Her passions run high with a poodle! 78805 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell A poodle! Have you lost your mind? You'll not see that pup near my behind. They can't hunt or track, And dare not attack Me for any doggie type grind. 78806 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Carol In morn, to avoid the hot sun We roam, 'fore hunting's not fun; Old Blue's in the back Of the cab with the rack, Panting and guarding my shot-gun. 78807 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES On Saturday, just after sunset, Picked up my red-necker love-pet; "To the road-house for sure!" Parked the truck; 'twas secure; Old Blue slept inside, did not fret. 78808 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Of the honky-tonk food and strong drink, She did have too much, I now think; We left and drove out; In spite of new doubt; I still hoped she'd screw like a mink! 78809 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES At the Lover's Lane we had just started, When just once she ominously farted; She then barfed up yuck All over my truck; Old Blue's eager licking got started! 78810 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Such a dawg I've ne'er before seen! Helping out with my poor country queen! C'mon, Old Blue! You good old dawg, you! Good boy! You're licking it clean! 78811 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES That honky-tonk stuff soaked her shirt; Her nipples through ripples, looked pert; Those sweets I passed up, Made room for my pup; Blue licked 'em, then looked for dessert! 78812 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES What used to be luncheon meat Got scattered across the front seat; Her Cream of Okra Looked like tapioca; Old Blue took it all as a treat! 78813 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES There were kernels of corn on the horn, "All through!" She had sworn, "before morn;" The damn steering wheel Had a new, sticky feel, Old Blue licked 'em clean like new-born! 78814 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES On my Rebel War Flag she did gag, My soiled white sheet's now a rag; The shotgun rack Got covered with brack, Old Blue! Now just watch his tail wag! 78815 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES The radio dial became vile; She suffered, my sweet honey chil' ; The speaker grill Just dripped with swill, "Arf!" Old Blue thought, "Gourmet style!" 78816 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES My red-neck girl's face was still green; No time to seek out a latrine; Whoops! Pizza cheeses On my plastic Jesus! Old Blue wagged his tail, licked it clean! 78817 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Mixed up with a whole bunch of beer, Some pizza flew elsewhere, I fear, And anchovies Slid down her knees; Old Blue! Lookit! Right here! 78818 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES She pulled off her jumper, now soiled; No panties! But lust this time's foiled; Some sour, sticky stuff Now matted her muff. Old Blue! Not too long! She'll get spoiled! 78819 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES She beckoned him over, "Come follow Me down to this secretive hollow." But there in the glade, He was rather dismayed, To discover she'd not want to swallow. 78820 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins "So how 'bout a regular fuck; Either here or back there in my truck?" But she fluttered her eyes Amid sorrowful sighs And said, "No, for my tampon is stuck!" 78821 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins "Okay, so wank me, you tease." "No, I bloody won't, if you please. All you think of is dick And it's making me sick," She said, running away through the trees. 78822 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins "Well how 'bout I see to your ass?" He inquired as they lay in the grass. "I don't think so", she said, Blushing prettily red, "I'm afraid I dislike it alas." 78823 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES There's Paula, a gal very spunky, Who went to a party quite funky. She drank all the booze; What'd she have to lose Till home, when she blew the dog, Chunky. 78824 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES And Paula told me (I believe 'er), When I've blown Chunks (a golden retriever), He returns me the favor, For he knows that I crave, for A good doggie's lick on my beaver. 78825 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES To his son, explained father, so harried, As at intercourse two canines parried, "They have learned a fine trick For the one dog is sick, And it's thus that the sick dog is carried." 78826 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Albin Chaplin 3024-1146 The son these fine points did amass As he watched the two dogs on the grass, And he said, "I'm dismayed -- If you give a friend aid, He will give you a fuck in the ass." 78827 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Albin Chaplin 3024-1147 There once was a girl named Loretta; Her dog Red was an Irish Setter. She had taught Red To give her some head; As for fucking, well, she thought better. 78828 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Cerberus And although the dog could fuck, Sometimes they had much bad luck. They'd have to stay A good part of the day, Ass to ass, because they were stuck. 78829 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Cerberus I'd rather be lost in the fog, Like a frog all agog on a log. I'd rather be dead Than red in the head, Like the distended dick of a dog. 78830 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller (Still sucks, but so do most dogs: Their own or anyone's logs! And sweet girls in tresses Have known the caresses Of dog dicks or tongues 'neath their togs.) 78831 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller I shouldn't give dogs a bad rap, But before I get off of this crap: If a dogs gets off me, Then a girl, well does she Get pregnant, or rabies, or clap. 78832 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller Now, Betsy no one seems to mind, But sex with a canines behind? Then if you bend over, It's likely that Rover Gives back what you have him, in kind. 78833 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES John Miller Gals, forget Jean-Claude; here's somethin' keen; My hound-dawg's a lean sex machine; Good Old Blue is well hung, Got a long, hot, wet tongue; He adores Continental cuisine! 78834 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES We know doggie-style's great when she's ripped On her hands and knees; dawg's got her gripped; She'll know ecstasy pure; If she first makes damn sure That his toenails and dew-claws are clipped! 78835 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Starting: "Arma virum q. e. cano" Just forget it! Here's Good Old Boy guano! Got an old pickup truck, That can't ever get stuck Four-wheel drive; it can tote a piano! 78836 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES I found my dear girl by the bay, Curled up in a bed made from hay. I bent down and kissed her, My heart sure had missed her, Since she up and left one cold day. 78837 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell Our meeting came as a surprise; It showed by the shake of her thighs, The arch of her rear, The twitch of one ear, And tears that welled up in her eyes. 78838 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell I picked up my girl in my arms, Her breasts dangled free like love-charms. Her tongue brushed my face Then quickened the pace -- My mind, though, was sounding alarms! 78839 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell I knew she had been with some guys Who humped her, ignoring her cries. At least five or more, Like she was their whore. They screwed her then severed all ties. 78840 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell To them she was only some bitch Who roamed free to scratch their male itch; Well, they had their way With her by the bay: They raped her like floods rape a ditch. 78841 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell I took my girl home where she stayed With me -- she has ne'er again strayed. And Sal, the old hen, And pups, there were ten. But I sure as hell had her spayed! 78842 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell What you didn't know about the old lady, She has an obsession quite shady. Though showing normality, She's into bestiality; Your auntie is perverted, matie! 78843 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Martin V Jensen She has kicked out Joe, the old fart; Made him leave, go away and depart. Then she searched for a mutt And now she has got A relationship with a Saint Bernard. 78844 ZOOPHILY - CANIDAE - ZSERIES Martin V Jensen With bribes of small cookies and candies, Joe lured and laid goats in the Andes. Said he with a leer: "I'm repeating next year. Those Andes sure spawn some jim dandies!" 78845 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE G1210 "I know you're a sheep shagger, Tid," Said Doctor Alfonso, "But did You ever stick your choat In an old nanny goat?" "Yes doc, my son's Billy the Kid." 78846 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Tiddy Ogg I'd just come ashore from the boat, And felt a great throb in my choat. What was I to do? There was no handy ewe, So I had to resort to a goat. (six months for buggering goat in front of commuter train) 78847 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Tiddy Ogg A girl and her billy were spooning; To the goat, she was virtually crooning. Her husband said, (quote) "Why do we need a goat?" She replied, "'Cause my bush need some pruning." 78848 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Actaeon Kufta is Armenican for goat, That causes your sex drive to bloat. When your hormones are steep, You do better with sheep At least they've a glossier coat. 78849 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A Spaniard from old Albacete Once fucked fifteen goats on a bet-a. When asked how he felt, He hitched up his belt, And said, "I can't tell just as yet-a." 78850 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE G1205a A wee little prick you must tote; You've naught but a tiny boy's scrot'. You can't satisfy A gal or a guy, So go find yourself a nice goat. 78851 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE There was a young lady named Rote Who dated a goat-herd of note. Though her plan was to marry, Her plans did miscarry, When she found he was getting her goat. 78852 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1175 A villanous herdsman named Choate Was spotted while humping a goat, An action so verminous, It's almost conterminous With slitting your grandmother's throat. 78853 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Armand E Singer 466 A billy goat, tired of nanny, Stuck his nose up the milkmaid's fanny. She chortled with glee, She pooped and she peed; The smell of the goat's now uncanny. 78854 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Actaeon There was a horny goat lived on a hill, So full of mischief, he let some spill. He fast knocked Jack down And broke the lad's crown, But was a trite more attentive to Jill. 78855 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Lims For Year - 01 He had multiple carnal contacts With an estrus-tormented hyrax. This randy ibex Had seething hot sex, Turned her fornix into a fornax. (what is a fornax? - McW) 78856 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Jim Jambor P9103 Listen, Frieda von Barstuhl's the name, Of our fat babe of opera fame; But she did some Deep Throat, On an old English goat; Now she can't hit "high C"; such a shame! 78857 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE After Frieda sucked the goats meat She slowly got to her feet She cleared her throat Could not sing a note All she could do was bleat 78858 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE There was an old maid in Nantucket, Had an asshole as big as a bucket. While bent over the oven, A-dreamin' of lovin', Her goat seized the moment to fuck it. 78859 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE L1669 Old King Cole grew so tired of the moat, Kept him from the women remote. So he crept through the halls, 'Til he got to the stalls, Where he tried all the sheep and one goat! 78860 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE As the rabbi was cutting the throat, Of the annual tribal scapegoat, Said the beast, "I will cite you As a sodomite! You Forget what we did on the boat!" 78861 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE L0655 The lady next door got the votes Of a family of goatherds named Coates. For she fucked with them all, The great grandfather tall, And the father, the son and the goats. 78862 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-0372 A man from the Sea of Okhotsk Once mention a fact, and I quotsk: "A woman is fine, And a llama divine, But neither's as tight as a goatsk." 78863 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Peter Wilkins Smirked a horny young farmer named Moats, Who was found in a barn humping goats, Knee deep in the grain, And feeling no pain: "Well it's one way to sow my wild oats!" 78864 ZOOPHILY - CAPRIDAE Armand E Singer 125 On the loose from a zoo, a male leopard Tried to mate with a cute German Shepherd. The difference in size Made him come 'twixt her thighs, And with semen she was thoroughly peppered. 78865 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Actaeon There once lived a bugger named Jack Who shoved a small mink up his crack. He loved the full feeling, And, too, when a-kneeling, The thrash of soft tail on his sac. 78866 ZOOPHILY - CARNI H Whelchel Soft tail, when accompanied by teeth, Doesn't make for the simplest relief -- He's risking his prost- Ate, his balls could be lost, He could lose his entire underneath. 78867 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Lucy Or perhaps a taxidermist might Prepare one that couldn't show fight! Something with heat, With mechanical beat, And a battery to last through the night. 78868 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Lucy A youth from the town Terre Haute Fell madly in love with a stoat, But had cause for regret, When he tried on his pet Some tricks he'd observed in "Deep Throat." 78869 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Hugh Oliver A048A A moonshiner heisted his jug, And as the mule flowed in his mug, He cried. "When I'm drunk, I'll diddle a skunk!" And he gave his fat pet one a hug. 78870 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Grand Prix Lim 503 A safari guide lost in Burundi Was raped by a large coatimundi. At first he was shocked, But after they'd talked, He agreed to come back every Sunday. 78871 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Actaeon Raccoons have paws just like hands, And dexterity at their command. They pull their cocks out And massage them about, And find masturbation is grand! 78872 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Jim Weaver Collection Raccoons have peculiar relations; His forelegs make quick palpations. The masked little bandit Grabs hold as he's planned it, And gives his wife's hips good vibrations. 78873 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Jim Weaver Collection I once lived in a posh condominium, With raccoons, cats and other verminium. Each night -- what a din As they screwed on the tin! Or perhaps it was plain aluminium. 78874 ZOOPHILY - CARNI Joyce L Owen Young Bambi ignored Faline's nips Till she took his soft sheath in her lips. As she started to lick He got really thick, And he fill her way back to the hips 78875 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon A farmhand encountered a doe, Who lifted her tail for a show. He gave the doe pleasure, And then for good measure, Blew the buck who'd been watching them go. 78876 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon This girl who is part of the show, Had a twin sister you know. I admit she is weird, She'd not like Santa's beard, She's up top giving Rudolph a blow. 78877 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Faerie An indian maid named Moon-deer, Said, "I'll never feel rested, I fear. Though I long for seclusion, There's always intrusion. I'm afraid the buck always stops here." 78878 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Isaac Asimov The miners in northern Saskatchewan Are complaining that all the good snatch is gone. They say caribou Make a pretty good screw, But they run so damn fast, you can't catch you one! 78879 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Phred "Hey Ho! Kermit the zoo here, With advice for the zoophile New Year. You should firmly resolve To never dissolve Your relationship with caribou, dear." 78880 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon A caribou bull in the Arctic Grew horny and showed quite a hardick. With no cows around, He eventually found Screwing musk oxen proved quite cathartic. 78881 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon Two deer fell in love with each other; Their passions their reason would smother. Their lust was quite bold, She young and he old, Unaware they were sister and brother. 78882 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon A whitetail surveying his harem Decided for fun just to scare 'em. He dressed as a doe And mounted them so, And to his surprise, they would bear him. 78883 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon A corrupted young ranger named Bruce Came up with a certain excuse, That he wasn't the creep Screwing farmer Brown's sheep, For he only poked cattle and moose. 78884 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Cap'n Bean P0209 There was a young lady named Nash; It seems that she was somewhat rash. She played games fast and loose With the Elk and the Moose. They picked up what was left in the trash. 78885 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Albin Chaplin A stag ran his horns through a bush; And out his penis did push. He waved it about Till his urine flowed out, Which is why the grass looks so lush. 78886 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon A crazy old woodsman named Bruce, Whose screws were a little bit loose, Said, "The gals are okay, But if given my way, I'd prefer buggering a moose." 78887 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Cap'n Bean P0209 A man who liked to chew snoose, Made improper advance towards a moose. It gored him and kicked him, Then mounted and dicked him, Knocking his testicles loose. 78888 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Pat McGregor Last night after much apple juice, I went and had sex with a moose. Alas, I was caught; Now I'll end up in court, Charged with elk-aholic abuse. 78889 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Tiddy Ogg How horny can one person get? A moose? That's the worst one yet! I've said it before, But I'll say it once more: Animals are only to PET! 78890 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Kaylin Brandon If you happen to fuck a small moose When his bowels are just a bit loose, I suggest this, my dear, That you use the right ear, For the rear end is just like cous-cous. (cous-cous - steamed wheat or millet) 78891 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Clifford M. Christ P8407 Where the Saskatchewan flows, an old moose Saw a squaw with her brand new papoose, And thought, "Can it be They cohabit like me? But why ain't it MOOSE they produce?" 78892 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Grand Prix Lim 0003 P9704 A mule deer bent backwards to find A doe with a blow job in mind. He let her proceed Till he spilt his seed, Then returned the doe's favor in kind. 78893 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon "Why not?" said the perv with a grin. "This doe had a fawn deep within, Which continues to quiver Right there with her liver. To waste it, would be such a sin. 78894 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE John Miller An impressively-antlered red stag Felt his lovelife beginning to lag. He tugged on my sleeve, "Please, sir, don't leave. I'm in need of a really hard shag!" 78895 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon That Rudolph and Yukon Cornelius! Say "We're unsure the gay life's ideally us. We could choose, it appears To pick up some 'dears' Or go to that stag party at Amelia's!" 78896 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Even people there called Inuit Know dried reindeer takes much to chew it. They never would waste A possible taste By attempting somehow to screw it. 78897 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Daniel Ford Santa's reindeer don't fare too much better; That is why they repose like the "Setter." First, he lurks oh-so-near, On his face that "lewd leer." Later on, the deer's butt is much wetter! 78898 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Has anyone got any use For a dick which belonged to a moose? It's a fine looking knob And it does a good job, Despite suffering years of abuse. 78899 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE It used to belong to Irene 'Til she married a Royal Marine. It's been mounted and stuffed And although rather scuffed, She assures me it's spotlessly clean. 78900 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE I've the vulvae of elk, caribou, And wapiti, to name just a few; They're mounted, not stuffed, Looking sad and rebuffed... They'd rejoice at a moose-screw or two. 78901 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE The American elk, known as wapiti, Is relentless when guarding his propiti. He pees when he bugles; With sex he's not frugal; And to other bulls he shows nopiti. 78902 ZOOPHILY - CERVIDAE Actaeon The young whale trainer had a fit; "By the teeth of me lover, I'm bit!" Said Shim, "Thought me whale Was a sexy female; And I was just testing the fit." 78903 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA "I thrust deep inside her sweet venus, Till out popped this long fleshy penis! I was fine till I pulled out And our gay whale did pout; So now I'm renaming his genus!" 78904 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA "Orcinus orgasmus! Genus name! The young trainer said through his pain. I'm a hetero trainer, And dove in with a gainer, But now I'll try this new game!" 78905 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA There once was a shepherd of bleaters, Who dreamed about cetacean peters: As long as the Earth, As wide as the firth, Displacing one kazillion liters. 78906 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA H WHELCHEL A boastful blonde bombshell named Gail Told the town she could take a blue whale. Everyone laughed And said she was daft; But next week her pants were for sale. 78907 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon Than the blue whale, no animal is stauncher. And his robustness must makes him raunchier. When his semen is ready, She'd better hold steady: If she were much lighter, he'd launch her. 78908 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon A bottlenosed dolphin named Puck Was down on his same-species luck. He spied a canoer, Was able to woo her, And they both had a really good fuck. 78909 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon I just have this thing about whales, In spite of the Moby Dick tales. Never mind 'bout his dong, His tongue five feet long, And it's through his back he inhales. 78910 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Dana A zoologist at Sea World, looking nervous, Enticed a young dolphin to surface. When called into court And accused of the sport, He admitted he'd done in on porpoise. 78911 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon A Dolphins fan wanted to stay With the team when it moved to LA. "I'll miss my old town, But I'll come around. Plus, their mascot's a pretty good lay!" 78912 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon A cetacean biologist named Gwynne Saw a dolphin, geared up, and dove in. In her haste to depart, Her suit came apart, And the dolphin swam up and slipped in. (And the dolphin just slipped her a fin.) 78913 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon Old Jonah had no cause to pout; He had much he could be proud about. For Jonah was swallowed By the whale who had followed, And most whales, it seems, spit it out. 78914 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon One eve, over sausage and ale, My visage went ruddy to pale. My blind date confessed She was never impressed With anything less than a whale. 78915 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA H Welchel Nonplussed for only a flash, I then made her face turn to ash. I whipped the beast out Which caused her to shout, "Oh please put your 'sperm' in my gash!" (Physeter catodon) 78916 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA H Welchel Diving into an orca sex tournament, A girl learned quickly what horny meant. When they started to fuck, On his shaft she got stuck, And he wore her as sort of a ornament. 78917 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon She went orca-wwatching with glee. Jumped in and made love in the sea. When she came with a splash, The whale asked for cash. "But Willy, I thought you were free!" 78918 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon Jacques Cousteau or so goes the tale, Once tried to pleasure a whale. But it took the whole crew To accomplish that screw, Plus the Calypso under full sail. 78919 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Pat McGregor A whale in the strait found by Bering Said, "It bothers to have the seals staring When we sex, though I try, To ignore those who pry, But the fact they're there's mentally wearing." 78920 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Grand Prix Lim 208 Love and sex among mammals aquatic, Is seldom, if ever, quite static. When the giant sperm whale Impales his female, The results are both loud and dramatic. 78921 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Isaac Asimov Young Angela caused a sensation With waistline of massive inflation, For pregnant she was By a sperm whale; the cause Of her hundred and four week gestation. 78922 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Could it be that she found Moby Dick? Many women have searched for this prick. Scouting every male pod, For that one massive rod, That's proportioned; in size an epic! 78923 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Perversions Atlantean abound, And none of them are underground. Their chief rulers daughter Is still underwater; To her all the sperm whales will sound. 78924 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Archie The found a huge whale on the Lido, Sore racked with cetacean libido. But solved her disease With consumate ease: By using a dummy torpedo. 78925 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Armand E Singer 660 Ecologists urge, "Save the Whales," But since whale product profit prevails, And is drivin by greed, If they hope to succeed, Their slogan should read, "Waive the Sales." 78926 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Bob Giandomenico P9707 A gay young lady from Wales, Was strangely attracted to whales. It wasn't the snout She worried about, But the thought of their dork made her quail. 78927 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Anon A vainglorious diver in his scuba Tried to rape a small whale south of Cuba. But she-whales are grim, And what she did to him Would make a Dead March on the tuba. 78928 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Grand Prix Lim 377 G1315 A zoologist watched whales in the ocean, Was seized with a prurient notion. But his rod soon wore down, For the man quickly found That saltwater makes a poor lotion. 78929 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon A gal by the name of Hortense, Known more for her daring than sense, Tried to get a quick lay From a whale in the bay. You could say that she found it intense. (in tense?) 78930 ZOOPHILY - CETACEA Actaeon An aardvark who yearned for romances, Hooked up with another called Frances. He courted her good As a good aardvark should, With his tongue, eating ants from her pantses. 78931 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE A honey who hookers in Florida Lays her customers in a dark corridor. One night in the dark, She fucked an aardvark, And claims that no fuck could be horrider! 78932 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE G1239 Said a zookeeper's wife name Malotte, As she stuffed some live ants up her twat, "Of all sexual sensations, The eccentric gyrations, Of an anteater's tongue tops the lot." 78933 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE G1318 An old whore from old Amarillo Was scrubbing her twat out with Brillo. She said, "'Twould compare For the wear and tear, With fucking a stud armadillo." 78934 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE MrMalo While Mabel lay prone 'neath the willow, Whe was screwed by a large armadillo, And remarked to the same, As the two of them came, That the next time he should bring a pillow. 78935 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE That queerest of queers, named Petrillo, Has a yen for a girl armadillo. With hot words of affection He effects sex connection, With the beast on its back on a pillow! 78936 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE G1300 There was a young man from Amarillo Who hastily buggered an armadillo When he was inside, It scraped his hide, But he'd not regret his pecadillo 78937 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE Jim Weaver Collection While stumbling across Amarillo I encountered a large armadillo Without even thinking (Because I'd been drinking) I used him that night as a pillow. 78938 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE Jim Weaver Collection A trucker from down Amarillo Kept in his cab a down pillow; So whenever his luck Was up in his truck... But it ain't, so it's still Armadillo! 78939 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE Jim Weaver Collection A girl fell in love with tamandua: Their long noses fulfilled all her fantua. One night, lost in bliss, She gave it a kiss And cried out, "Oh God, what a manua!" 78940 ZOOPHILY - EDENTATE Jim Weaver Collection The elephant explained to the flea: "We are both sexual critters, you see, And if you think your pleasure From sex is great measure, Calculate the effect upon ME!" 78941 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Grand Prix Lim 899 An elephant bull named Enkije Told his story on air to a DJ. "The problem's my dick -- It's so goddamn thick, That no one can give me a BJ. 78942 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Jim Weaver Collection At the zoo the old zoo keeper Blentz Attempted the pachycerm yentz. As he went into spasm, He fell into the chasm -- All they heard was an echo: "Immense..ense..ense..ense..!" 78943 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Phil Cannibal P9012 There was a young Nubian prince, Whose cock would make elephants wince. Once while packing the sperm, In a large pachyderm, He slipped and he's not been seen since. 78944 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS L0632 Bull elephants stricken with musth, So frenzied they almost combust, Come down on their mate, Squeezed flat by the weight Of raw pachydermatous lust. 78945 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Armand Singer The Communist Party's Earl Browder, Was fucking a girl in a howda. The elephant's trunk Somehow got in her cunt, Which, they say, made it terribly crowded. 78946 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Maintaining a semblance of elegance Is hard when a dignified fella hunts A high enough stool, To use so his tool Won't damage the pussies of elephants. 78947 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Maintaining a semblance of elegance Is hard when a dignified fella hunts A high enough stool To use so his tool Won't damage the pussies of elephants. 78948 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Travis Brasell A young elephant with a long tusk Has testes swelled up and near bust. "My testosterone," He said with a groan, "I need sex when I musth, I just must." 78949 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Tom Patton P9711 Said zoo-keeper Roger Trevellyan, "So what if I screwed my dear Nellie in Our bedroom last night?" "But an ELEPHANT...!?" "Right; And she's tighter than you, so quit bellyin'." 78950 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Peter Wilkins When a girl with a hung-over head, Found an elephant sharing her bed In the dawn's early light, She then groaned, "I was tight!" "To begin with", the pachyderm said. 78951 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS A sweet little girl from the choir For an elephant's love did aspire. One night at the zoo She accepted his woo, And sailed higher and higher and higher! 78952 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Actaeon An elephant by the name Ritter Was quite a prodigious critter. After walking a mile He would fuck doggie-style, All the people who sat in the litter. 78953 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS There was an old Hindu mahout, Who said, "What's all this blithering about? Why I have shot spunk, Up an elephant's trunk." Cries of "Shame!", "Kick his ass!", "Throw him out!" 78954 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS L0514 To some, leaving India is dreadable: "Such elephants! I simply must get a bull! Nothing gets me harder Than a blowjob in Djarkarta, For an elephant's trunk is incredible." 78955 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Actaeon High up on her rump, red with heat, With his cock in an elephant, Pete, Said, "I like to shoot sperm In this hot pachyderm, Which I've done twice this week -- what a treat!" 78956 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS G1251 There's a girl at the zoo in the Bronx With a liking for lions and monx. And she rather goes ape For a species of rape That involves all the elephant's tronx. 78957 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Keith MacMillan A084B An elephant married a skunk; His penis he put where it stunk. She then said, "Big Boy! You have such a small toy; How about filling me up with your trunk!" 78958 ZOOPHILY - ELEPHANTS Travis Brasel A serious thought for today, Is one that may cause you dismay. Just what are the forces, That bring little horses, If all big horses say is "Nay" ? 78959 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE A bestial fellow named Cabel Screwed horses whenever he was able. But alas and alack, While riding bareback, He was kicked through the wall of the stable! 78960 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE John Chastaine A ranchero in old Monterrey Put his mares in a family way. His offspring, thus sired, Were so widely admired, Their young run the state to this day. 78961 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Ray A Billinton A venerable Indian Rajah Once decreed that all cunts should be larger. And, until this was done, That he'd have his fun With the arse of his favorite charger. 78962 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE G1306 Belinda goes through a new phase Whenever beset by malaise: Last week, she was able To visit a stable Where she found much comfort in neighs. 78963 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Norm Storer After drinking a full fifth of bourbon, A zoo drove his brand new Suburban To a horse farm where he Put his rod in a she, Who enveloped his head like a turban. 78964 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection With one certain horse called Nugget, Alan Strang does far more than hug it. In the dark they will ride, Bare flesh against hide; Though his nature prompts doctors to drug it. 78965 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Seeking work as a stable assistant, A pervert faced the owner's insistence. "All the openings," she trilled, "Have already been filled." "Not yet," murmured he, his gaze distant. 78966 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Actaeon An equiphile, swollen with lust, Hugged his mare, whom he'd learned he could trust. When he fondled her udder, He heard the mare mutter: "I'm a cop, buddy. This is a bust!" 78967 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Actaeon Two pretty young things named Mahony, Once tickled a horse's baloney. With a spurt and a splash, They fell with a crash, And no one knew which had the Toni. 78968 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Said the smelly old stableman, Morse, "There's a place for young ladies, of course -- Not in bed, I declare, For they'll never compare To inserting a cock in a horse." 78969 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1166 There once was a boy quite pedestrian, That wanted to be an equestrian. But the horse up and said "No, boy, I'll ride instead; Now bend, while I jockey my sex-tree in!" 78970 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE A Texas man, hung like a horse, Would come with incredible force. Girls wet their brassieres And wept milky tears, Not knowing his 'horse' was the source. 78971 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Of all of the women I've seen, The nastiest of them has been Quite contrary, And very hairy, Like her only friends, the equine. 78972 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Big Don South Cave, once so famous for fairs, Had problems with stallions and mares. These amorous beasts Added spice to the feasts With mounting and mating in pairs. 78973 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Howard Peach P9006 There once was a cowboy who found He and his filly aground. She asked, "Do you screw?" He said, "Oh no, thank you. I prefer just horsing around!" 78974 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE J Murphy A horny old blacksmith named Norse, Fell madly in love with his horse. Asked if it was a mare, Said, "I don't really care. But it would make a difference, of course." 78975 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Frank Ward P9309 The children adore Auntie Mable Who molests every one when she's able. When she tires of these, She's easy to please, Finding solace out back in the stable. 78976 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE John Miller An impotent man of Twin Falls Was treated for racehorses balls, Which so cured his weakness, He entered the Preakness, And screwed all the mares in their stalls. 78977 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Hugh Oliver A041B A peculiar old man from the slums To the charms of a donkey succumbs. But it fair grinds him down To run so far 'round, To kiss the dear beast when he comes. 78978 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Limericks Naughty & Gay An estrous mare winked at the teaser, Who wanted so badly to please her. But before they could play, He was taken away. She got laid by a vial from the freezer. 78979 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Actaeon There is nothing wrong with equine, The young lady from Paris did whine; For only a ninny Would bypass a whinny, With appendage too large to define. 78980 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Kathi Webster When O'Malley came courtin' from Cooley, His manners were course and unruly. The girls with big tits Just gave him the fits, And he fondled them all so unduly. 78981 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE One lass in the bunch was named Sallie; She had the biggest breasts in the valley. And so to be courted, She quickly resorted To flaunting her tits to O'Malley! 78982 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Her act filled O'Malley with pride, So he made this bold lass his bride. But soon after they'd wed, Sallie had reason to dread, For on her ass O'Malley took stride! 78983 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE "His obsession," thought Sallie, "will pass." But O'Malley's lust was pure crass, For her ass he was hot, And her breast he forgot; Made his bride to become a sad lass. 78984 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Then one night with a plan in her head, Sallie left O'Malley sleeping in bed, Wrapped a gun in her shawl, Walked out to the stall, And shot her ass 'til it was dead! 78985 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE "Hey Timmy, I want a divorce; I've fallen in love with a horse. Your dick is so small, I can't feel it at all, And I need to be fuckled with force." 78986 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE While shooting some fish in a barrel, Jake thought, "Maybe my gray mare'll Be ready to trot; However, if not, Then maybe old 'twat-to-trot Carol!' 78987 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Travis Brasell The young girl said she didn't care That her boyfriend had diddled a mare. In fact, she was of The opinion that love Was an asset that prospered when shared. 78988 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Actaeon A sailor boy, tall and banal, Met up with a femme fatale. Though he tried every ruse She denied him her mews -- She preferred a menage a cheval. (mews - secret place) 78989 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE G1183 A horny, old knight named, Sir Morse Was disliked by the maidens, of course. So he pulled down his pants, And he whipped out his lance, And proceeded to then mount his horse. 78990 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE K C Morrill P0302 Jingle bells, as we ride on our sleigh; Jingle bells, as our horse gives a neigh. But the stallion don't care 'Bout the "nay" from our mare, So he'll have the best time today! 78991 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE An old man I knew with white hair, Once told me that he just might dare To sneak to his stable And leave his wife Mable Asleep while he had his night mare. 78992 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Travis Brasell Said the horse, who was almost in tears, To the cowboy who herded the steers: "I beg of you, mate, If you must masturbate, Please try not to come in my ears." 78993 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE G1333 A young stable hand name of Robin Damned near met his end in a mobbin'; He was caught by the crowd Screaming, "That's not allowed: We don't stick our tools in old Dobbin." 78994 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Armand E Singer 673 This group has long been a source Of beastiality stories (how coarse!). I won't stick my knob in Just any old Dobbin, Though I'm known for cavorting with whores. 78995 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Irish No wonder your hair's turning grey. It seems like that gal's eating hay. I beg you take care; Don't mess with that mare. One day she may blow you away. 78996 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE A fearless young cowboy named Morse, Said women were vulgar and coarse. He said he couln't care less For a woman's caress, He just simply went off on his horse. 78997 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Albin Chaplin A fearless young cowboy was Morse; For women he had no discourse. He cared not a whit For a cunt or a tit, He simply went off on his horse. 78998 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1167 It seems a liaison equine Would not be a choice of mine; Mating, of course With an well-hung horse. If a filly, would be quite divine 78999 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection For steamy hot sex, you should oil her And then take her up to the boiler. To make her well sexed What do you do next? (Scroll down just a bit for the spoiler) 79000 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE You lube yourself up too, of course; Then show that fine mare who is boss. Just use this technique, It'll make her knees weak, No need to be hung like a horse 79001 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE You lay her down on a high beam, And pump her 'til she starts to scream. Just when it gets ripe, You retract your pipe, And vent it, releasing some steam. 79002 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE A cowboy when filled with strong beer Loved to rodger his horse from the rear. When asked if he'd care If it wasn't a mare, Said, "Of course I would care, I'm not queer!" 79003 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A Spanish queen watched from her mirador, And saw the return of the matador. It was not the senor Who made her heart soar, But the horse, who could ruffle her pinafore. 79004 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection In the movie, the cowboy named Brady Would look with disdain on Miss Sadie. As we all are aware He went off on his mare, Which is what he preferred to a lady. 79005 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1122 There was a young farmer named Morse, Who fell madly in love with his horse. Said his wife, "You rapscallion, That horse is a stallion! This constitutes grounds for divorce!" 79006 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Anon L0605 A young lady known for her vigor, Searched for a penis that's bigger. But her quest was for naught, For one day she was caught Trying to screw a stuffed horse named Trigger! 79007 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Sam Pittman TP9806 A donkey is not a bad choice, But I do prefer women, of course. Though when none are found, I simply go 'round To the barn, to search for a horse. 79008 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Lars A British man's knees turned to jelly When he looked beneath a stud's belly. A camera within Recorded his sin; The event was seen worldwide on telly. 79009 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Actaeon That thing you see smiling at you, And that you're attempting to woo, Is the end of a horse. You could do it, of course, But it's shameless self-love if you do. 79010 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Confession is good for the soul, So, therefore, I'm telling this whole Damn group that my mare, Expressed not a care, This morning when I fucked her foal. 79011 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Travis Brasell I stood in a warm summer rain And held to my horse's long mane; I stepped around back And poked her wet crack, She only flinched twice from the pain. 79012 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE An estrous mare winked at a stud, But he proved to be more than a dud. Though she was in heat, The horse held his meat, So she ended up sipping his bud. 79013 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Well Countrygirl, if you are able, Just make your way down to the stable, Where this handsome roan Will soon make you moan, By slipping you plenty of cable. 79014 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE But during this meeting of lips The female's all scrotum and hips. To stay there at length Requires great strength, And trusting in god when she rips. 79015 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE A man in Southeast Arizona Had a ranch, and a mare he'd named Mona. When breeding time neared, He stood to her rear, And served as official sperm donor. 79016 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A beastialist out on a mission; Horse sex! That was his ambition. He lifted her tail She kicked! He did sail. And now he's in stable condition. 79017 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A mare, when she comes into heat, Has a vulva which tastes, oh so sweet. A stallion, likewise, Elicits great sighs, At the delectable taste of his meat. 79018 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection When plowing a mare there's a trick: Weight down her hind hooves with a brick, Or else your damn nuts Will dance with your guts, While you sing soprano real quick! 79019 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE A zoo's habits oft interfere With his carefully-chosen career. The horse inseminator May sneak samples later, Thinning sperm counts, whenever he's near. 79020 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection When a non-estrus mare showed resistance, Two frustrated studs pumped like pistons. They swelled up and blew; Their semen fair flew And moistened her lips from a distance. 79021 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection I hate to fire women, of course; It gives me a state of remorse. But she, in the nude, Today acted rude, When she saddled up under the horse! 79022 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE Travis Brasell "Your horse seems a little bit hobbly," Said Malcolm, the good village cobbly; "But it's not his shoes," Said owner Hung Loos, He's hobbly from screwing with Wobbly!" 79023 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE I bred a young filly called Della; A spirited Arab so bella... Riding that horse Caused my divorce; I could come with that mare, a capella! 79024 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS OgniGioia A bigot, she was not too wise Was seized by a Arab stud's thighs. She confessed he was better Than the men who had wet her, To say naught of the difference in size. 79025 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon A zoo with a job at Budweiser Worked the stables, which proved quite a riser. He loved giving head To the horses he fed, For a Clydesdale spews forth like a geyser. 79026 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection A man bought a cute Falabella And took the small horse to his cella. The horse loved fellatio On a 1:1 ratio, Which pleased both the horse and the fella. 79027 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection A girl had the sudden desire To make loved to a big handsome Shire. He put it in hard And she flew 'cross the yard From the force of the semen he fired. 79028 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon A horse-loving lady from Baltimore Brought into her house the stud Man-O-War. She lifted her skirt And started to flirt. He fill the great hall of her corridor. 79029 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon A zebra, aroused by the wipes Of a woman massaging his pipes, Was up to the task Before she had asked, And showed the girl more than his stripes. 79030 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection Concupiscent young Miss McGarrity Finds men who can please her a rarity. So she uses bologna And a small Shetland pony, Both of which get her off with celerity. 79031 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Grand Prix Lim 706 G1274 She honored the onager's offer, To use his large sex tool to boff her. His urges were strong And all night long, Yes, it was onager, off her. 79032 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Anon I once knew a girl from Madras With a sexy voluptuous ass. I fondled her rear And her crack, but I fear She preferred it with asses, alas. 79033 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Claire There was a young girl named Lenore, Who liked to be screwed by a boar. They brought her battalions Of Percheron stallions, But she always hollered for more. 79034 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS G1271 The Percheron stud bobbed his dick At the sight of the mares he could stick. He rubbed on his belly Till he spilt all his jelly And he came 'til he made himself sick. 79035 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon His wife caught him at it, aghast! In the donkey, his penis pumped fast. Said she, "You're deranged!" Replied he, "It's not strange. I just needed a nice piece of ass." 79036 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon A math-loving fool, a Parisian, Fell in love with a stallion, a Friesian. He'd measure the size Of what hung 'twixt his thighs, And plot all his curves in Cartesian. 79037 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon Our donkey, while standing at stud, Got caught in some Arkansas mud. We think we see traces In very high places Of this very proud creature's fine blood. 79038 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS John Miller A girl had a sudden desire To make love to a big handsome Shire. He put it in hard And she sailed 'cross the yard, On the force of the semen he fired. 79039 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection The minature stallion looked up At the shire he'd been asked to tup. He made the mare gladder With the help of a ladder. When it fell, he was stuck till sunup. 79040 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection Tabby, whose really a talker, Spent the night with a Tennesse Walker. His smooth roling gait Made a wonderful date. And the horse rode on top -- that's the shocker! 79041 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon She awoke with a donkey pressed near, Said, "Damn! Too much party, I fear! God I must have been tight!" Said the donkey, "That's right, But only the first time, my dear!" 79042 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS John Miller 0083 In a stable, an amorous Prussian Ended up with a painful concussion, When he swallowed the seed Of a Trakehner steed, And was stunned by the force of the gushin'. 79043 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection His action had harsh repercussions: He became the farm's major discussion. He was taunted and teased, But was secretly pleased, For the stallion himself was still blushin'. 79044 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection He knew that with fate he was brushin', But the ardor within him was crushin'. So he went to the mares, And showed them his wares, And entered with rapid percussion. 79045 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection The farmhands, their voices all hushin', Said, "The time's come to send the man flushin'. He was sent to the front, Where the lad bore the brunt Of the horses who spoke fluent Russian. 79046 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Jim Weaver Collection A lady philologist (Libra), Was raped by an oversexed zebra. She cried out in anguish, In every known languish, Including Swahili and Hebra. 79047 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS G2490 "I've got problems, my friends, I've got bevies!" The zebra mare sighed, her heart heavy. "I just had a spree With a sports referee, But he told me that he was a Grevy's!" 79048 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS Actaeon George has the direst of need For zebra and such, but not steed. It's got to be wild And not yet defiled By Scottish pricks and cattle feed. 79049 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - BREEDS H Whelchel One ought not to express remorse At having had sex with a horse. They don't smell as bad As some women I've had, But they are a bit looser, of course. 79050 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY MrMalo A zoophile born under Cancer, Joined up as a cavalry lancer, But he died of despair, When his favorite mare, Was replaced by a motorized panzer. 79051 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY G2487 I hope that folks want think I'm silly, For eating, last night, some hot chili, And Mexican cornbread. And on this cold morn bred A beautiful, feisty young filly. 79052 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY A mare-lover started by soapin' her, And once she was clean, began gropin' her. With slow even strokes And occasional pokes, He learned what was needed to open her. 79053 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Jim Weaver Collection Old Jake, by the lake, sits and stares At geese swimming gently in pairs, And then has the thought: I'll do as I ought... Go home...Give a goose to my mares. 79054 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Travis Brasell When boffing my mare in the rain I always grab hold of her mane, To keep her from slipping And me from near ripping Her twat -- since she can't stand the pain. 79055 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY There once was a man from Gwinette Who had a fine mare for a pet. He loved her each day In a zoophile way, And went home with underwear wet. 79056 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Toccatta A mare showed her slot to her trainer And winked it so he'd entertain her. He loved his big student As much as was prudent And asked at school's end to retain her. 79057 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Actaeon With his shoes some two feet off the ground, The farmhand one morning was found, With his prick, to the belly In the ass of old Nelly, But he said, "I'm just horsing around." 79058 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY G1249 A crusty, tough cowboy named Mills Each day took his mare to the hills, And on a high summit, Mill's prodder would plummet Into his mares twat for some thrills. 79059 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Then one day Mill's mare had enough, She thought he was being too rough; When he went to mount 'er He met with encounter; She kicked him clean off the high bluff! 79060 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Now, cowboys, this truth can be found In Mill's tale, and by it you're bound: There's always a bluff When cowboys act tough: Don't get your kicks horsin' around! 79061 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY True, Mills was quite hurt by the kick. But fate was much worse for his dick: While his pleasure was beasty, The horse was quite yeasty. Now Mills has an infected prick! 79062 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY A mule-skinning logger named Billy Always acted a little bit silly. I just ain't too sure All his actions are pure, Since he's started to eye-up a filly. 79063 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Frank Ward P9310 The filly was winking her slot And squatting and peeing a lot. The ranchhands took turns Plying her stern And she proved she was quite hot to trot. 79064 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Actaeon Philadelphia: Man caught with a horse: His wife quickly files for divorce. He does not dispute The grounds for her suit: "Infidelity in filly," of course! 79065 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY John Miller 0152 There was a horse fancier Adair; His love with his horse he did share. Now he wasn't a queer As at first may appear, For the horse that he loved was a mare. 79066 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Albin Chaplin 3024-1118 There was a young man of Adair, Who thought he would diddle a mare. He climbed up on a ladder And jolly well had her, With his backside a-wave in the air. 79067 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY L0574 I used to think zoos were perverted But was by a nice mare, converted. Her smooth pussy walls Drained both of my balls And squeezed on my dick till it hurted. 79068 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Jim Weaver Collection The Algonquian Indian Sagamore Grew old, yet remained a strict bachelor. He was loved and respected; They never suspected The chief's favorite mare was his paramour. 79069 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Actaeon A mare quite enjoyed being fingered, And licked as a man cunniling'ed her. He buried his face, And got a good taste, Of what makes a mare such a zinger. 79070 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Jim Weaver Collection She answered to his beck and call; When he mounted her she gave her all. She did all that he asked; In contentment he basked; Then he led the mare back to her stall. 79071 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Arnie Schoenbrun P0209 A young man in love with his horse Found bestiality an irresistible force. When asked "Do you care If it's stallion or mare?" Replied , "A mare - I'm not gay, of course!" 79072 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Tom, 'A' mare just ain't near as thrillin' As two mares or three for my fillin'; I'll tell ya the truth, When I was a youth, Four fillies I'd do that were willin'. 79073 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY When the crowd saw a fellow from Dilly Compromised with a horse, he felt silly. Lest the onlookers posit, He was stuck in the closet, He assured them, the horse was a filly. 79074 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Robert Elliot The mare milked Joe's dick till it hurt, Yet she wouldn't stop playing the flirt. She pinned the man down, Moved her horny ass 'round, And got herself off on his shirt. 79075 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Jim Weaver Collection There once was a man from Caerphilly Who liked, in the barn, to get silly. With horses and sheep He uttered a peep, But he yelled when it came to the filly. 79076 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Lims For Year - 01 Just go to your old horse's stall, (Leave all the tack hung on the wall,) Then lift up her tail, And stand on a pail, And go give that filly your all. 79077 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY No WOWSER was our red neck Willie, Though most thought his morals quite silly. "No sex" he'd define Not like yours and mine, As healthy fine fun with a filly. 79078 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - FILLY Chris Papa A Muslim, just new to the force Was caught making love to his horse. "Don't think me a fool For screwing my mule; I'm horny, but not gay, of course." 79079 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Tom Allen There's many a miner would bust a Gut, as he seeks, for his lust, a Mule for the trail, Or a lift on the rail To the whore-pits of Antofagusta. 79080 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE The mule wanted love right away, So he sniffed through a big bale of hay. When he found an old ass, He bent to his task, Making the poor gardener bray. 79081 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Heather McCabe There was an old hostler named Rains, Possessed of more ballocks than brains. He stood on a stool To bugger a mule, And got kicked in the balls for his pains. 79082 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE L0633 A muscular Turk of Stamboul, Tried to screw a recalcitrant mule. He climbed on a haystack, Overlooking a racetrack, And dived in all covered with drool. 79083 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE L1734 A man climbed a tall milking stool, To ram his long horn in a mule. But just as he started, The animal farted And blew all the gas up his tool. 79084 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE G1331 There was a horse trader named Benny Who traded his wife for a jenny, That no louder did bray, And she made a good lay, And he claimed that she cost not a penny. 79085 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Albin Chaplin 3024-1121 A sturdy young fellow named Dwight Was known for his sexual might. Once, playing the fool, He buggered a mule And the ass kicked his ass. Served him right. 79086 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Limericks Naughty & Gay Bestiality's the ultimate sleeze, Making donkey's weak at the knees. Is sicked and perverted; My eyes are averted To avoid seeing the mules that you please. 79087 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE One time I was muffin' the Mule; I'd heard they like plenty of tool. I went in so deep, My tool went to sleep; Now I just use the tip, as a rule. 79088 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE There is a lady who you'll See sucking the tool of a mule. When the mule does bray, She had best get away, Or she'll gag on a pool of its spewle. 79089 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Speckle Bird TP9901 Said a man with a turbulent penis: "I wish the whole world could have seen us. For I stood on a stool And buggered a mule And created a whole brand-new Genus." 79090 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE G1299 The miner, it seems, undertook To fucking his mule by the brook. He said, "Bless my hide; I'd make her my bride, If only she knew how to cook." 79091 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Albin Chaplin 3024-1182 Clem said to his wife, "Use this jelly -- Just smear it around where you're smelly; Then use this vibrator And I'll see you later -- Just after I've screwed my mule Nelly." 79092 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Travis Brasell Well, I used to think it was cool To pack me an oversized tool. But Nellie complained About how it pained, So now I just water my mule. 79093 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - MULE Frank There was a young fellow named Tony Who once tried to bugger a pony, Which he blithely confessed He preferred to Miss West-- A statement I think is baloney. 79094 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY G1338 There was a young fellow who fell in An affair with and old whore named Helen. And now his prick itches For all kinds of bitches, Or even a burro to swell in. 79095 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY G0585 The European Union's no soul! They won't let you lick from the bowl. Or weigh by the pound Or piss on the ground; I can't even fuck my new foal. 79096 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Archie That randy young stable hand Shoney Examined his thing, stiff and bony; Full-flushed with romance, He lowered his pants And buggered his favorite pony. 79097 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Armand E Singer 698 Their once was an ass named Bun, Who mounted his missus for fun. With a grunt and a roar And several pumps more, He filled up his missus with come. 79098 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY There was a spoiled girl named Toni, Whose parents had bought her a pony. They would not have suspected That her love, unaffected, Was the pony was giving her bony. 79099 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Kevin If you're horny, you needn't despair If you can find yourself a willing mare. Just get under her tail And you'll find without fail, The best pony ride anywhere. 79100 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Jim Weaver Collection She and the pony were lovers. She diddled him under the covers. When the stud came, She call him by name, And his gratitude sailed high above her. 79101 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Jim Weaver Collection An Indian chief, a Shoshoni, Was interested in matrimony. He could not find a bride He wanted to ride, So he married his spotted pony. (only fools and indians ride a paint) 79102 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Thomas Patton The miniature horse was a-snorting Round standard-size mares and cavorting. "Could you girls please Get down on your knees, While logistics of this, I'm assorting?" 79103 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Marsha Magee A farmer's young daughter called Nick Bought a "My Little Pony" called Dick. She watered and fed It and took it to bed, Where she played with it's dear little prick. 79104 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Too often young girls are sallyin' To pastures, and there they're a-dallyin' With ponies; this action Gives dissatisfaction, 'Cause men can't compete with a stallion. 79105 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY A cavernous cutie named Miller, Finds very few fellows can thrill her. So she goes for a pony With a big pink baloney; Too bad for the chaps that can't fill her. 79106 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Grand Prix Lim 869 G1282 Since men were disturbing to Marge, She lived all alone on a barge, In pure sanctimony, With naught but a pony, But they say that his pecker was large. 79107 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Albin Chaplin 3024-1162 There once was a clergyman's daughter, Who detested the pony he bought her. 'Till she found that its dong Was as hard and as long As the prayers her father had taught her. 79108 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY L0591 She married a fellow named Tony, Who soon found her fucking the pony. Said he, "What's it got, My dear, that I've not?" Sighed she, "Just a yard-long bologna." 79109 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY L0592 A slapper, a pro and a honky, Took turns on the cock of a donkey. For hours they would glide, A wet sticky ride, Now their legs and their knees are so wonky. 79110 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY A young girl undressed on a hill, Hugging horses to ward off the chill. One big Shetland pony Called out to his crony And together they gave her a thrill. 79111 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY Actaeon A shetland, I've heard's, a small horse, And I'm just assumin', of course, That though, you say it's ewes You'd prefer to abuse, You'll take either creature by force? 79112 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - PONY A stallion looked out of his stall At all the hot mares down the hall. If it weren't for the doors, He'd have opened their pores And ensured that they'd all had a ball. 79113 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Actaeon There was a young man of King's Cross, Who amused himself frigging a horse. Then, licking the spend, Which still dripped from the end, Said, "It tastes just like anchovy sauce." 79114 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION L0780 A farm girl was tilling her field, But her plow horse was slowing her yield. To urge the stud forward, She'd strut like a whore would, And flash her slit 'til the horse squealed. 79115 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Jim Weaver Collection A horse-loving lady named Dove Met a stallion who gave her a shove. She lubed up her hands, Massaged the stud's glans, And was bathed head to toe with his love. 79116 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Actaeon The Black Stallion and Alec would play With each other's members all day. Alone on the beach With no females in reach, These two horny guys castaway. 79117 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Actaeon A lady looked 'round with a shiver, As a stallion's rod started to quiver. She went down on her knees, Used her tongue as a tease, And his semen flowed out like a river. 79118 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Jim Weaver Collection An equestrienne Master of fame Taught her stallion a wonderful game. Bare-bellied she'd hang, Accept his long wang, And canter until they both came. 79119 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Dick Buenger P9006 The wife of old Samuel Morse, She too bought herself a stud horse, Quite dashing, and Dotty Got keyed-up real potty... She didit, she didit of course. 79120 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION A cavalryman named Ed Barger, Once had an affair with his charger. He fondled its dong, Which was exceedingly long, And steadily grew larger and larger. 79121 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Pat McGregor "My stallions? Why, yes, I'd just gotten 'em." "Well," said her doc, "you're too hot on 'em. From the fluids inside you, It seems that they ride you, And together, they filled your duodenum." 79122 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Jim Weaver Collection There once was a horny Italian, Who fell madly in love with her stallion. She sucked on its penis With the passion of Venus, And the horse filled her throat without dallyin'. 79123 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Jim Weaver Collection On Sunday's at noon, Cousin Bea Suspended herself from a tree. An admirably formed Stallion performed The unspeakable act until three. 79124 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Gents Alphabet Book P9611 An equestrian nympho named Bobbie Has a mount with an organ quite knobby. What began as a whim - Feeling knobs on her quim - Has developed; that horse is her hobby! 79125 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Lizzie, I'm told by my source, Has had intercourse with a horse. Her husband named Bernie Has seen an attorney, And was told he has grounds for divorce. 79126 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Ogden Nield There once was a cowboy named Tex Who was hungup on bestial sex. But this deviate creep Spurned heifers and sheep For the love of a horse, name of Rex. 79127 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Robin K. Willoughby P8710 A faggot who called himself Abel Went cruising on day in a stable. A stud of a horse Fucked his ass with such force, That his bowels blew out of his navel. 79128 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION H Whelchel Good Lord! He is hung like a horse; Exuding such masculine force! I wish you could see What's enthralling me -- It's some farmer's stallion, of course. 79129 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION A fine kitty lady named Tabby, Thinks stallion spooge isn't too shabby. She crawls underneath, And fondles one's sheath, Until she is dripping; he, flabby. 79130 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Jim Weaver Collection A poor fellow strained his right wrist Because he just could not resist Masturbating his horse, Which bolted, of course. He hung on, shouting "Whoa, I insist!" 79131 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Prof M-G A lady who loved a thick wang, Once rented a horse for a bang. The bronc kicked her head, And when she was dead, He ripped a huge rent in her tang. 79132 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION H Welchel A bestial lady of Whitehorse Spent a lifetime in search of the right horse; "When I want to," she said, "Take a stallion to bed, On the whole, I'd prefer a quite light horse." 79133 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Keith MacMillan 112b A horse-loving girl name of Doris Was wooed out in Naples by Boris. "I don't like Italians; I much prefer stallions", Doris said, stroking her Horace. 79134 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION A vixen, long, lithe, blonde, and Norse, Decided to mount a young horse. But spurning a ride, He showed her his pride. Ms. Norse said, "Dear Horse, but of course!" 79135 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION H Whelchel The beast reamed her hard with his rod, Inciting sweet dreams of "Dear God!" She swore then and there, She'd always ride bare, And see her fine stallion well-shod. 79136 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION H Whelchel There was a young lady from Ayr Who remarked, "There is naught to compare With the size and the force And the thrust of a horse, As it buggers my sweet derriere." 79137 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION The starlet was caught giving head To the TV star back of the shed. Her fate was determined, When the star she was spermin', Turned out to be Mr. Ed. 79138 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Jim Weaver Collection There was a young farm girl, most coarse, Who liked being fucked by her horse. One day when he filled her, His mammoth schlong killed her, "No KY," he cried with remorse. (KY jelly - lubricant) 79139 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Pete Fintschenko "I want" said the widow Gert Orso, "To purchase your finest stud horse, so I'll have me a male Who can, without fail, Fill me up when he plugs up my torso. 79140 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Travis Brasell The wife of old Samuel Morse, She, too, bought herself a stud horse. Quite dashing and dotty, Got keyed up real potty, She didit, she didit, of course. 79141 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Tiddy Ogg "I see that you've spilled your 'white sauce' All over your mothers twat moss. I've taught you quite well!" "You've taught me? Like Hell! I learnt watchin' mom fuck our hoss! 79142 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Travis Brasell "It's clear you've been whoring, sweet dame." That's nonsense, my husband-so-lame!" "Then what is this squirt Of spunk on your skirt?" "Why, only old Dobbin's poor aim." 79143 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION The mounted policeman named Morse, Every evening had sex with his horse. Said commissioner Maillon, "Your horse is a stallion. You're the queerest old cop on the force." 79144 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Arnie Schoenbrun P0205 In the sixties, in a Playboy mag, Was cartoon of a sagging, nude hag, REPINING lost youth; Still seeking, forsooth, A reprise with a stallion or nag. 79145 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Elois One day in the stable with Claire, (My stallion was serving her mare) She suddenly blushed And breathlessly gushed: "I'm nipping outside for some air!" 79146 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION SFA And so it was, on her return, That passions had started to burn. She fell to her knees Beseeching me: "Please! Go tell your damned horse, it's my turn!" 79147 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION SFA And when it was time for her service, She wasn't a tiny bit nervous. After taking a pounding, She said, nicely sounding, "Next week, this fine stud, please reserve us!" 79148 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Ward Hardman I once met the young Lady Leed Who rode a magnificent steed. "He gallops and trots, And it gives me the hots. In the morning I still taste his seed." 79149 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION There isn't a choosier lay Than Lucy at U.C.L.A. Just once when a horse Subdued her by force, Was she willing to go all the way. 79150 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Hugh Oliver A130B You see that lady named Angel? She frequently, out on the range'll Make love to her horse, A stallion of course; If hoof-rot don't get her, the mange'll. 79151 ZOOPHILY - EQUIDAE - STALLION Marlene Lewis Says my little one, "Please make a ditty About Lucy, my cute little kitty!" Well, the problem is that I think "Pussy" not "Cat", And find "kitty" less witty than "titty". 79152 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264 There's lots of thing rhyming with "kitty", And a limerick need not be too pretty. So I couldn't think why I'd not give it a try; I hope these are sufficiently witty. 79153 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264a While visiting Sal in the city, She said, "Come up, look at my kitty!" You can guess my surprise When the damned thing had eyes, Drank milk, had sharp teeth, and smelled shitty! 79154 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264b At the jail, the boys formed a committee, With fifty-five bucks in the kitty, To sneak in a whore For an hour or more: At that price would you bet she is pretty? 79155 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264c Said the girl, "Just look at my kitty! She's so soft, and so gentle and pretty And her tongue is so rough Just a little's enough, When I get her to lick on my clitty." 79156 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264d Let's all take a moment to pity Poor Clarence, whose face was so zitty. When he walked through the doors Of a house full of whores, He heard: "Quick, Someone grease up the kitty!" 79157 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264e Could it be that guy, Walter Mitty, Once dreamed of a woman named Kitty, With boobs out to here And voluptuous rear -- Got in real life not even a titty? 79158 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller 0264f In search of exotic diversion, Tom had an affair with a Persian. But beneath all that fur She wasn't a her. Now Tom's accused of perversion. 79159 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Richard L. Harrison P9012 There was a strange man from Zabat, Who preferred to have sex with his cat. "About pussy, I'm fussy-- I don't want no hussy..." And we all say 'me-ow' to that! 79160 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Writerman The Mahatma on Mt. Himavat, Opined as he diddled a cat: "She's a far better piece Than the Viceroy's niece, And also has more fur on her prat. 79161 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE L0607 A cat must be fast on his feet When looking for females to greet. When the barbs on his cock Make her lash out in shock, The male beats a hasty retreat. 79162 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Actaeon When Father John wanted a screw, He'd stuff a fat cat in a shoe, Pull up his cassock, And kneel on a hassock, While doing his damnedest to mew. 79163 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE L0645 When fucking a cat that is dead Avoid the vagina and head. Their hot little anus Is rightly quite famous, Or you could make your own hole instead. 79164 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Paul Boston I have on my knee a knee-sitter; I'm wondering if my knob would fit her. I am baby-sittin' My sisters' new kitten. My goodness, I have gone and split her! 79165 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Frank Fazed And now her pussy's all agape; If found out, I'll be charged with rape. Perhaps I can mend This terrible rend; Can someone lend me some duct tape? 79166 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Frank Fazed Some duct tape I have, but you're sick; Is there anything that you wouldn't stick? Some day you'll get stuck While your trying to fuck Something too small for your dick. 79167 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Karen I've got a big cat called Ginge; On his love life I never impinge. So most everyday He'll find him a stray, And together they have a sex binge. 79168 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE In the streets down below we hear cries From our cats, in heat mobilized. There's a riot in town; Boys we have to clamp down; Lots of water will do -- cold as ice! 79169 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE A zookeeper fingered a horny cat; When sure of himself, he did fornicate. But the female lashed out And the keeper did shout, For he wound up in need of a tourniquet. 79170 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Actaeon My Siamese is called Juicy Jill; Luring every tom to my window sill She's in estrus for weeks; Shows lordosis and shrieks! I wish she were irreproducible. 79171 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Though praises of cats have been sung, They're no good if you are well hung; It won't fit your prick, But pleasant's the lick You may get from it's rough little tongue. 79172 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE There was a young lad of the Nile, Who had habits exceedingly vile, That involved tiny cats, Hardly bigger than rats, Which he'd stuff up his arse with a smile. 79173 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Peter Wilkins Reviewing his sex memory banks, He still winced at a kinky "no thanks". What he'd heard was absurd; Partly hissed, partly purred, "I tease then I quit, I'm a Manx." (no tail) 79174 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Esther Koch P0102 There was a young man from Yuma, Who attempted sex with a puma. He gave up real quick, Minus nose, toes, and prick, In obvious pain and ill huma. 79175 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE "Oh Jock! That's disgusting!" she spat. "It's only my sporran, dear Pat." "It's not! It's got paws; It's got whiskers and claws! You've been knobbing sweet Tiddles, our cat!" 79176 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Peter Wilkins Our trip to the vet was soon nixed By the claws of my cat (of breed mixed), Who clearly implied, "What I have inside Ain't broke, and I don't want it fixed!" 79177 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE John Miller My pussy came in from the cold; Been out on the tiles, I am told. But tried as I might, For all of last night, That feline just wouldn't be holed. 79178 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE There was a zoo-keeper named Nick -- A nasty disease made him sick. Though there was a time where He could lick any bear, He no longer a pussy could lick. 79179 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-2210 My Tom cat has a creed Which he applies to each breed: Every critter Gets a litter Save for extraordinary speed. 79180 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Richard L. Harrison P9012 Discarding the joys of the abbey, And sexually feeling quite shabby, I found a new pussy; We got amorousy; So now I have screwed our young tabby! 79181 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE My girlfriend is smelly and fat; I'd rather have sex with my cat. Its anus I prod With my nineteen inch rod, And I come while it sleeps on the mat. 79182 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Andrew Jones An alley cat, (Tom was his name), Acquired wide promiscuous fame By mating with dozens Of sisters and cousins. He said, "Pussies all look the same!" 79183 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Ann Gasser P8706 A driving instructor named Dwight Had a cat who drank wine, red or white; Though it often got stoned It was never disowned 'Cause he claimed, "Pussy's best when it's tight." 79184 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Said a Frenchman who lived at Sans Souci, "Superstition? Mon Dieu! C'est tout fou, si? Why only ce soir I buggaired un chat noir; To un homme virile, poussy is poussy." 79185 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE My kitty cats have quite the life, Laying 'round, eating, sleeping. no strife. They are snots to the max, And I'm telling the facts, Pussy licking don't bother his wife. 79186 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Pooh Take your poodles and goldfish away, Canaries and parrots and prey- Ing mantids and minks Or a python that slinks... It's pussy I'll take any day! 79187 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE There once was a pussy conceited, Whom the Cat-Show judges entreated, "If you'd stick out your necks, And give points for SEX, I'm sure I'd remain undefeated!" 79188 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Richard L. Harrison P9012 A cathouse pet tom cat named Pete Said, "These whores in continual heat Drive me nuts with their scents... Make me sit on the fence And howl my head off for hot meat." 79189 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Grand Prix Lim 983 A rugged old tomcat of Strand Once took a young polecat in hand. He did limit his playing And he backed away saying, "I've enjoyed about all I can stand!" 79190 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-2323 A tomcat, completely unplanned, Screwed a skunk, because she was at hand. In the midst of the screw, He stood up and said, "Phew! I've enjoyed just all I can stand." 79191 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Theo Heller P9210 The cat in my hat is called Bugsy, She answers as well to McFugsy. When she's on the prowl All the other cats yowl, Because Bugsy plays kissy and hugsy! 79192 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Ystap A provident tomcat, Kon Tiki, Fell hard for a pussy named Squeakie; Right there and like now He made him a vow: Put something in the kitty each weekie. 79193 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Armand E Singer P9901 There's a provident tomcat named Sprite Who resolved to get everything right. For New Year's he swore He'd restock his store, Putting some in the kitty each night. 79194 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Armand E Singer 9 This circus performer, Bill Kiger, Twice daily does mount a huge tiger; May Heaven defend us! His act is tremendous, With sparks you can count with a Geiger. 79195 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Armand E Singer 914 A novelist from Tortilla Flats, Repeatedly buggered stray cats. The alley-fence howls As he stirred up their bowels, Enormously pleased the town rats. 79196 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE L0656 A city boy named Matt Came over to suck off my cat. I asked if he drank, He smiled cat-wank. He didn't swallow, he spat. 79197 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE A writer whose tom cat was neutered To prevent it being constantly suitored, Was somewhat dismayed, When at night it still strayed, But not to perform, it just tutored. 79198 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Gwy H Clark Said a crafty old Siamese, "Let the younger Toms pounce from the trees. They chase her about Till she's all tired out, While I rest till she's weak in the knees." 79199 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Richard L. Harrison P9012 They say that the Wild Feral Cat Is the feline who knows where it's at. Tame kitties love dicks The size of match sticks, But the Feral adores baseball bats. 79200 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Feather soft, angel white, I let Angora out tonight. Appearance misleading, Her mind is on breeding, And she'll come home looking a fright! 79201 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE Richard L. Harrison P9012 Our tom cat goes out on the prowl, He'll fuck any beast, bird or fowl. But as Ed Lear told her, One day he got bolder, And went to town on an owl. 79202 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE A cute Bengal tiger named Macie Decided to wear something racy. A keeper, aroused, Came in and untroused. But the tigress left him rather lacy. 79203 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Actaeon The cheetah cub winced: he'd been caught. "You've been jerking yourself, have you not?" "Yes I have," the cub frowned As he looked at the ground. "How'd you know?" "I could tell by the spot." 79204 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Actaeon A zoo girl with passion was rapt By a cougar who was sexually apt. She squeezed him so tight That when he took flight, He left her lips terribly chapped. 79205 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Actaeon Said a certain young maid of Tortuga, "How I wish I could mate with a cougar. The sheer joy of the matching Would be worth all the scratching." But her friends think she's clearly meshugga. (meshugga - crazy) 79206 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Isaac Asimov A nearsighted, zoo-escaped jaguar Was aroused by the antlers a stag wore. The cat made a jump But before he could hump, The deer kicked him and made the cat's bag sore. 79207 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Jim Weaver Collection The Prince of Montezuma Once had an affair with a puma. The puma in play, Clawed both balls away: An example of animal humor. 79208 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE L0620 There was a young fellow from Yuma Who essayed to bugger a puma. In the midst of his frolics, It clawed off his bollocks, Leaving both in a very bad humor. 79209 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE There was a young lady from Niger, Who smiled, being screwed by her tiger; Said, "What's more than that, He's a real pussy-cat, And straight: not a man-eating tiger." 79210 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Ed Potts P8507 A zoo lady living in Niger Stripped nude and lay next to a tiger. When he muzzled her mouth, She guided him south; With his tongue he began to oblige her. 79211 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE Actaeon There was a young fellow named Spratt, Who was terribly sassy and fat. He sat amusing himself By abusing himself, While his trained leopard licked at his pratt. 79212 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LARGE L1672 I wanted to tame the big lions; There was a circus in my environs. They gave an example For me to sample The job, if I was worth the tryons. 79213 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie They sent in the girl who had tamed them. The jumped through some hoops and roared, then The biggest one there Jumped off of his chair, And approached her, mouth wide open. 79214 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie He knocked her right down to the ground And rolled her around and around. He tore off her clothes, (My cheeks went quite rose) He then straddled her with a bound! 79215 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie Then with his tongue he did lick her, And with his tail he did flick her. He quite gently nipped At her breasts which were gripped By his paws with intent to bicker. 79216 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie As she began to quiverise, Sweat and then start to shiverise, He redoubled his licking -- I saw he was sticking His tongue in between both her thighs! 79217 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie All of her now fevered moans Had started to harden my bone. My hands became damp, My balls they did cramp. I think even I gave a groan. 79218 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie To me said the master of the ring, "Can you handle this sort of thing?" I said "That's for sure, Just open the door, Get the lion out and then let me in! 79219 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie A sex-crazed safari guide, Brian, Thought a lioness might be worth tryin'. To his joy, she was game, And remarkably tame. But that couldn't be said for the lion. 79220 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Lloyd Rawley It's a lion I'm most like, I'm told, 'Cause in loving I'm brazen and bold. And stroking my fur Will get me to purr And my mane is a sight to behold. 79221 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Jeanie So Bonnie's a feline with fur? And purrs when she's stroked by a sir. So, is she a lion You want me to try on? Then buy me a new sepulchre. 79222 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie But if she's a feline with claws, That never will give me a pause. I stoke and I pet Until she is set And then I will claim her applause. 79223 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie As I've said, I don't like cats, bro. I'm more of a she-wolf, you know. I'll return your leer; You need have no fear. I'll claw you and give the death blow. 79224 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Bonnie I'm not much for she-wolfish mixin' And I'd rather the vulpinish tricks 'n' Then going to ground When no ones around -- Just me and the foxiest vixen. 79225 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Archie Said the zoo keeper, mangled and dyin', "Well, I hope you won't blame me for tryin'. Although it is true I'd try anything gnu, I exceeded good sense with that lion..." 79226 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION John Miller 0336 As out on the sawdust he sprawls, This tamer of lions recalls The unfortunate naming That caused such a maiming. He damn parents called him Claude Balls. 79227 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Irish Said Siegfreid to Roy at the zoo, "Be careful in all that you do. Keep those lions at bay, Or it will, I must say, Be the first time a pussy ate you!" 79228 ZOOPHILY - FELIDAE - LION Jim Weaver Collection The angler fish courteth his mate, Then he makes for her vaginal gate; One fully inside They're eternally tied; If he changes his mind, it's too late. 79229 ZOOPHILY - FISH Robin K. Willoughby P8405 A lustful young lass from O'Neill Expressed a strong preference for eel. She said, "My pent conger Is half a yard longer And doesn't go limp on the deal." 79230 ZOOPHILY - FISH Hugh Oliver A076B There was a young girl from Batonger, Who was jazzing herself with a conger. When asked how it feels, To be pleasured by eels, She replied, "Like a man, only longer." 79231 ZOOPHILY - FISH L1241 There was a young fishwife from Onger Who used to make love with a conger, Which she kept in a creel Till that wily old eel Tried her asshole and found it was longer. 79232 ZOOPHILY - FISH G1294 A sultry young maiden from Onger, Had a torrid affair with a conger. Her boyfriend from Deal Said, "How does it feel?" She said, "Just like yours, but much longer!" 79233 ZOOPHILY - FISH Percy Longprong I'll tell you 'bout Jake the fishmonger, Who sniggled a lot after conger. He'd catch the best eels, Then hear his wife's squeals; She found that in bed they last longer. 79234 ZOOPHILY - FISH Jim Weaver Collection Now down in the valley of Teale, Lived a woman who loved to reveal, With her curtains well drawn, Standing bare as a fawn, A really neat trick with an eel. 79235 ZOOPHILY - FISH Scott Hendricks The notorious Duchess of Peels, Saw a fisherman fishing for eels. Said she, "Would you mind? Shove it up my behind. I am anxious to know how it feels." 79236 ZOOPHILY - FISH L0629 Another young girl, named O'Shea, Liked sex in an aqueous way. When out for a swim, She opened her quim And the eels had a great holiday. 79237 ZOOPHILY - FISH G1295 A virtuous maid name of Quinn, Waded into the lake for a swim. But a fish wormed inside her, And started to ride her, Now seaweed grows out of her quim. 79238 ZOOPHILY - FISH G1293 There was a young man from Brazil Who took a Viagra pill. To fulfill his wishes Of diddling fishes, But the damn things just wouldn't stay still. 79239 ZOOPHILY - FISH John Miller Now that silly old man from Brazil Should try giving the fish that pill; They would stiffen, no doubt, And stop flapping about. Then his wishes and dreams, he'd fulfill. 79240 ZOOPHILY - FISH Peter Wilkins There was a fat wench of Capri, Who tumbled one day in the sea. She returned from the splash, With a fish in her gash, And her face was transfigured with glee. 79241 ZOOPHILY - FISH G1211 There was a young lady of Wales, Who caught a large fish without scales; When she lifted her hook, She exclaimed, "Only Look! It's just like those things on the males!" 79242 ZOOPHILY - FISH Edwardian Leer 099 P9306 A fisherman's wife said to stow it, When he asked if she wanted to coit. The next night he found her In bed with a flounder, appendtually seemed to enjoy it. 79243 ZOOPHILY - FISH Actaeon There once was an ugly great flounder Who hounded a sprat and near drowned her. He pounded her senseless; The poor wee defenceless Young immature fish; what a bounder! 79244 ZOOPHILY - FISH Peter Wilkins A goldfish whom circling frustrated, Wishing to be sexually elated, Said "Humans have all the luck, 'Cause they get to fuck; We don't even get masturbated". 79245 ZOOPHILY - FISH A lecture on love by two swamis So raptured two kissing gouramis, Whenever they pucker, They make such a sucker, Their fish tank's enjulfed by tsunamis. 79246 ZOOPHILY - FISH Anon A horny old hammerhead shark Tricked whales into sex as a lark. When asked, "Is that right? You're a shark! Don't they fight?" Said, "Nope! They can't tell. It's too dark!" 79247 ZOOPHILY - FISH Actaeon There was a young redskin, Strong Bough, Who had fucked squaw, moose, snake, and cow. When he first saw a mermaid, The remark he to her made, Was simply, and wonderfully, "How?" 79248 ZOOPHILY - FISH To the madam said old man McNish, "A fuck that is novel I wish. I've fucked sheep, goat and gnu, And a jackrabbit too. Tell me, what do you have in a fish?" 79249 ZOOPHILY - FISH Albin Chaplin 3024-1164 A lecture on love by two swamis So raptured two kissing gouramis, Whenever they pucker, They make such a sucker, Their fish tank's engulfed by tsunamis! 79250 ZOOPHILY - FISH Anon A fisherman off of Cape Cod, Cried, "I'll bugger that tuna, by God!" But that high-minded fish Resented his wish, And nimbly swam off with his rod. 79251 ZOOPHILY - FISH L0585 There once was a fish with a notion, Who gave his girlfriend some love potion. It worked really fine; They had a great time; Now there's lots more fish in the ocean. 79252 ZOOPHILY - FISH Kevin Kerrigan There was a young man from Tirana With a fondness for wriggling piranha. On just one occasion He achieved consumation, And now he has half a banana. 79253 ZOOPHILY - FISH Robert Elliot Says a diver; "My dear, you are sore, eh? From some dildoing on the sea floor, eh? And pray tell me," he cries, "What's that 'txixt you thighs?" "That's no snake," she replies, "That's a moray!" 79254 ZOOPHILY - FISH Rowdy Jack From spermatozoa and the roe Spring little fishes that grow. It is really too bad, Their mom and their dad Do not have the fun that we know. 79255 ZOOPHILY - FISH Azul I have to admit, roe is mushy, And I guess fish jizz is squshy. Not much fun to be had, So I guess they're just glad Not to wind up a someboey's sushi. 79256 ZOOPHILY - FISH MrMalo A fisherman queer, name of Fife, Preferred screwing fish to his wife. Though he wrote a report On the fish-screwing sport, He did not have a porpoise in life. 79257 ZOOPHILY - FISH Albin Chaplin 3024-1132 Sex for a fish is so squishy, That I've not met a fish who was dishy. So they call me a woosie But I'll just eat pussy, If I want my sex to be fishy. 79258 ZOOPHILY - FISH MrMalo The salmon go upstream to mate When sex is the obvious bait. Swimming upstream must tire, But it seems to inspire, As they seem very pleased with their fate. 79259 ZOOPHILY - FISH Warrick Elrod There was a young woman of Tonga, Who had it away with a Conger. When asked how it felt, She said, "Though it smelt, It was just like a man only longer." 79260 ZOOPHILY - FISH Kevin's Limerick Page At sea, starved for sex, a young sailor Grew steadily paler and frailer. Till at last he went stark Raving mad for a shark, And did his goddamndest to nail her. 79261 ZOOPHILY - FISH Norm Storer P9606 Noah was heard to remark, As the last of the zoo left the ark, "I got a blow job From most of that mob, But I took a fast pass on the shark!" 79262 ZOOPHILY - FISH Irish I love how the fishes all swim, Although their small brains are quite dim. I think they're all blonde For when faced with my frond, Their mouths are a substitute quim. 79263 ZOOPHILY - FISH A bluenose from Antigonish Had a torrid affair with a fish; I just swim in the nude And we couple, in lewd Consummation, whenever we wish." 79264 ZOOPHILY - FISH Keith MacMillan 28b There once was a man from Brazil, Who took a Viagra pill To fulfill his wishes Of diddling Fishes, But the damn things just wouldn't stay still. 79265 ZOOPHILY - FISH Anon A fisherman baited his line And pulled a big trout from the brine. Said the fish, "Let me go, And I'll give you a blow," But his teeth slashed his big rod in trine. 79266 ZOOPHILY - FISH Actaeon A trout with extremely large mass Was attracted to a certain hot bass. When they did mate Trout crushed his fine date; In grief, he killed himself -- alas! 79267 ZOOPHILY - FISH A man on a zoo-keeping staff, Hung around with the doe-eyed giraffe. Some people would note That he called her "Deep Throat," Which he'd say with a wink and a laugh. 79268 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Cyd Folks thought it was just a crude gaffe, By a lout they considered riff-raff, But nobody asked the giraffe. 79269 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Cyd To its height, the giraffe owes its fame. It may be impossible to tame. But it could be done; It'd be rather fun To put other deep-throaters to shame. 79270 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Macsam There once was a timid bull calf, Thought heifers too virtuous by half. So he trekked to the Niger To diddle a tiger, And bugger a kneeling giraffe. 79271 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE G1209 A sideshow performer named Fleck, Was tall and had a long neck. I'm informed by the staff, He screwed a giraffe, And his feet never rose from the deck. 79272 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Joseph Eldridge There was a young man named Dom Who had a fourteen foot schlong One night for a laugh He shagged a giraffe Now its only two inches long 79273 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE The prick of the lordly giraffe Measured only an inch anad a half. However his smile Hinted sexual guile, For he used his long neck as his staff. 79274 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Isaac Asimov There's a question designed to perplex, And it springs to mind when I have sex. I once bonked a giraffe For a bit of a laugh. Is it OK to shoot on their necks? 79275 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE CyberCelt T9710 Giraffes have more freedom, I say, Than humans in sexual play. While we must get close (An arm's length at most) They can fellate from ten yards away! 79276 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Actaeon A wonderful word is that "snaffled" .. I bet it leaves somebody baffled; Like zoo-keeper Scrote After hours of deep throat, Who said, "Jeeze, I feel truly giraffled." 79277 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE After the zoo closed at ten, She entered the male giraffe's pen. On a ladder she stood And blew him off good, And his rod made her hair stand on end. 79278 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Jim Weaver Collection There's a question designed to perplex: Why giraffes always smile during sex? Some scientists surmise, It's the commensurate size Of their sexual organs and necks! 79279 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE H Myers T9712 A zookeeper, often thought dotty, Was seized with a notion quite naughty. He filled a carafe With semen of giraffe, Creating a double-tall latte. 79280 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Jim Weaver Collection When giraffes condescend to make love, The action begins with a shove. Then comes the foreplay, Which leads to more play, And mute moans emanate from above. 79281 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Tom Patton P9604 For me down in Afrique del Sud, My sheep-shagging skills are no good. With four feet and a half, I shag the giraffe, 'Cause that's where it fits best and should! 79282 ZOOPHILY - GIRAFFIDAE Rick Limmer T9711 There was a young woman named Sheba, Who loved a Teutonic amoeba. This primordial jelly, Would crawl on her belly, And murmur, "Ich liebe, ich liebe." 79283 ZOOPHILY - INVERT L0982 A fetish for fish had old Newt And for women he cared not a hoot. But he met with frustration When he fucked a crustacean, And it snapped off his prick at the root. 79284 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Albin Chaplin 3024-1810 There was a young lady named Peaches, Who frequented the very best beaches. She refused the lifeguard, Though he breast-stroked her hard, She preferred to be sucked off by leeches. 79285 ZOOPHILY - INVERT L1715 Lay a frustrated lobster, off Chester, With his mate, in the mood to molest her, Thinking, "How in the hell Did I get past the shell When I last got the itch, and undressed her?" 79286 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Keith MacMillan 26d A lobster of breeding enjoys A Saturday night with the boys. They'll all drink delicious Prawn cocktails, like fishes, With ladies of charm and of poise. 79287 ZOOPHILY - INVERT The sight of these lovely lobstresses, In skimpified sea fern made dresses, Plus bladder wrack wrapper, Will charm the most dapper Of males, as she offers caresses. 79288 ZOOPHILY - INVERT One guy at this fish bar was Ryan, Who'd love gals and then leave them cryin'. He was the king lobster, The top honcho mobster: To take him on no man was tryin'. 79289 ZOOPHILY - INVERT The denizens of this deep den Were filled with astonishment when A barnacled whore Threw open the door, And yelled "Who's this Ryan? I'm Bren." 79290 ZOOPHILY - INVERT He gets to his feet and she grabs His eel, which he skilfully jabs Into her pudenda, And wrestles with Brenda, And catches a dose of the crabs. 79291 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Now bachelors may think it crim- inal But his future's now dim. The two settled down In a cave outside town, Since she got her claw into him. 79292 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Well, maybe I've been quite audacious, To tell of these creatures cretaceous, But I swear by the belly Of Eskimo Nelly, There isn't a word that's fallacious. 79293 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Oh, everyone knows that "cretaceous" Describes a gal, blond and curvaceous, Who'll bob on a lobster Until his red knobster Squirts hot buttered sauce on her faceous. 79294 ZOOPHILY - INVERT In Woomera there used to be found A rocket and bomb testing ground. But now I suggest, The boffins should test For a leech in a plastic tart's mound. 79295 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Two worms, their love burned like a furnace, In the trash of a children's internist. Till one said "Enough Of this sticky kid stuff, Let's go and make love in dead Earnest!" 79296 ZOOPHILY - INVERT John Miller 0156 An adventurous fun-loving polyp Propositioned a cute little scallop Down under the sea; "Nothing doing," said she; "By Triton -- you think I'm a trollop?" 79297 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Jim Weaver Collection There once was a handsome Samoan, In love with a cute protozoan. But when he discovered Both genders were covered, He said, "Ma'am...uh, Sir..., I'll be goin'" 79298 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Merriam Sea slugs, I've learned in Australia, Are hermaphro, with cocked genitalia. When a pair feels desire, Both their penises fire. If you were their lover, they'd nail ya. 79299 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Actaeon "I will be back," said the starfish, (A curvy and leggy sea dish) "We've only just met, So we'll only pet, Though undoing my bra's what you wish!" 79300 ZOOPHILY - INVERT "That's quite OK," said the old lecher, For when you return, then I'll betcha One feel of my tool, You gullible fool, You'll forget that I only just metcha!" 79301 ZOOPHILY - INVERT The Starfish looked, then said "It's sad, When all of me you could have had. But now it's all off, For how could I boff A guy who is hung with one 'nad!" 79302 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Said the lech to the young echinoid "Elongate my elasmoroid" She cried "You old shark You're way off the mark And 'nadless so I'm aneroid" 79303 ZOOPHILY - INVERT For the man of such talented wits! Do starfish babes really have tits? Do they muff dive? And constantly strive, To search for a brassiere that fits?? 79304 ZOOPHILY - INVERT A venerable dame from Rangooser Had a tapeworm that used to amuse her. When she'd lie on the bed, It would stick out its head, And tickle her lollapaloozer. 79305 ZOOPHILY - INVERT G1308 There was a young artist named Royce, Who tired of women and boys. Said he with a sigh, "I fear I must try Alsatians for my sexual joys." 79306 ZOOPHILY - INVERT G1310 There was a young fellow named Jim, Whose wife kept a worm in her quim. It was silly and smelly, And tickled her belly, And what the hell was it to him. 79307 ZOOPHILY - INVERT L0610 A slimy young worm in the making Found a gal he considered worth taking. But she cried in despair: "The Precambrian air Is too stuffy; my neuron is aching." 79308 ZOOPHILY - INVERT Burger Rasmussen P0304 The worm, bless her soul, has both sexes In his body, which sorely perplexes Those of us mono-sexed. Perhaps they, far from vexed, Have more fun than a whorehouse in Texas 79309 ZOOPHILY - INVERT John Miller 0354 He crawled into my bed last night. His arms around me felt so right. There's one -- two -- three -- four Oh, Hell! Then four more! Damn spider woke me up in fright! 79310 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Young Jill, who had drunk too much cider, Was attracted one day to a spider. This artful arachnid Just copied what Jack did; Got up and then got right inside her. 79311 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Professor I've now got my pecker inside her; The rest of my life now, I'll ride her. She'll stay on my dart 'Til death do us part. My wife is a black widow spider. 79312 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy Ogg This is the decider of deciders, Where all of us who are outsiders Get to ridicule you And your arachnophile crew, Because of the fact you fuck spiders. 79313 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Damen Stevens They walk through the fields, hand in hand, Hand in hand, hand in hand, hand in hand. A lover and lass Amble through the long grass. For spiders their love live is grand. 79314 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy Ogg Of hands they were equally paired, Of hearts, for some other, foresweared. They're joined, for to hold, To live and grow old, Together, two spiders, that cared. 79315 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy Ogg By Love, the young lady's empowered As ever since loving first flowered. Young love, though, is fleeting And won't be repeating, For soon the male lover's devoured. 79316 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Cyber Wizard That love, oh so strong, back in Feb, By May probably will ebb. And once he's been downed, Then a new love is found; All waiting on her world wide web. 79317 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy Ogg She ate me, so the spider man's blame; The whole procreation's in vain. For had she shown tact And enjoyed more the act, She could well have had me again. 79318 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID J Boehm My three fingers were bitten by spiders. And that made my eyes open wider. Molly's Delight said Doc Mills Will cure all your ills. Just soak all three fingers in cider. 79319 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Anon There was a young lady named Schneider, Who often kept trysts with a spider. She found a strange bliss In the hiss of her piss, As it strained through the cobwebs inside her. 79320 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID L0644 There was an old woman from Glider, Who threw her leg over a spider. The spider got mad, And pulled out his tad. "By God," said the spider, "I'll ride her!" 79321 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Jim Weaver Collection It fell in, in sexual elation, Which gave the girl no consternation; The web, if not septic, May be contraceptic, I'll leave it there for the duration. 79322 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy Ogg And though she let most men bestride 'er, When she'd had a few pints of cider; Result: though much lovin', No bun in the oven, With a spermicide spider inside 'er. 79323 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID For spider, the noise was astounding. Beat, battered and bruised by the pounding, When he next saw the tip, He took a big nip. Horrorific, the screams kept resounding. 79324 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Goin2later The old woman's neck, he did seize, But something at once make him freeze. She spread her legs wider And out crawled the spider, And strung a big web 'twixt her knees. 79325 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Jodi B The man he had bitten was big, So spider a message did rig. And like his mom, Charlotte, He rescued the harlot By writing a web, "Save the Pig!" 79326 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Jodi B A libidinous pissant named Jack One time with a spider did shack. You may get oddball kids Sleeping with arachnids, But Oh! those eight legs 'round your back! 79327 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID G1258 I put on my camera a bellows, For close-ups of spidery fellows, I saw jaws for flies Of monstrous size, And hairs of blood-reds, browns and yellows. 79328 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID If sex with a spider's your scene, And I'm not saying that's how you lean, I'd like you to show me, I'm raring to go, see, Which legs must I get in between? 79329 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy The spiders of Eastern Tibet, Have cunts 'twixt each pair but one, yet, That last gives you pause, 'Cause it's fitted with jaws, So the games just like Russian Roulette. (Arachnis Sistris christina) 79330 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Tiddy Ogg Arachnids with jaws down below? If that is true, then it's a blow. Your tale put me off; She'd sure make me cough So between those legs, I won't go. 79331 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID Richard Jean If sex with a spider's your scene And I'm not saying that's how you lean I'd like you to show Me I'm rarin to go see Which legs must I get in between 79332 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - ARACHNID The male Antechinus won't hide While looking for bride after bride. He can't even choose -- He screws and he screws. He mates even after he's died! (Aussie marsupial carnivore - McW) 79333 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Archie The queen, when a-swarm with her drones Gets poked with their eensy love-bones. So pissed at the size, (Some keepers surmise) Attacks on them she soon condones. 79334 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA She needs only one act of sex; So woe is to every drone ex. She lays fertile eggs While outside they beg, And turn into bee nervous wrecks. 79335 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA A perverse old scribbler, Vladimir, Was stroking a butterfly's femur. "I prefer this," he said, "To a lady in bed, Or even a velvet-eyed lemur." 79336 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Edmund Wilson G1341 A biology professor named Caster Had a project she knew would outlaster her. For it was most complex. Aimed at changing the sex Of Drosophila melanogaster. 79337 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA The Weaver Collection There was a young lady named Mott, Who inserted a fly up her twat. And pretended the buzz Was not what it was, But something she knew it was not. 79338 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA L0621 There was an Old Man in a tree, Who was horribly bored by a Bee; When they said, "Does it screw?" He replied, "Yes, it do! For honey, not money, you see." 79339 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Edwardian Leer 017 At the end of Dick's prick sat a flea, Suffering from fleaish ennui. "I'm sick of Dick's prick; Next time I'll hop quick Into the muff of that sweet Rosalie." 79340 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Chris Kirchner A termite was left by its mate, For its very odd habits of late. It did things profane To some old cellophane, And who knows how much acetate. 79341 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Pierce Evans An entomologist, Tillie O'Tush, Said, "It certainly wasn't my wish, But some roaches and bees And a family of fleas Have all started a nest in my bush." 79342 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA William N. Nesbit P9702 A nice preying mantis once said, "My dear husband, it's time that we bred. He obliged with great passion And thought, "This is smashin'!", Till she started to chew on his head! 79343 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Friar TP9804 A Queen said, "Here, have some royal jelly And quote me some Keats and some Shelley. Then give me a dose Of your pheromones close, And brew a new brood in my belly!" 79344 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Tutta Gioia There was a young wingnut named Jeter Had a skeeter come land on his peter. He said, "Goody, Goody, I see me some booty!" And probed it one-sixth of a meter. 79345 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Lims For Year - 01 A slug met a bug in a rug, And said, "Shall we cuddle and hug?" And the bug replied, "Yes But I have to confess, I would rather we snuggle and fug." 79346 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Peter Wilkins The twiglet girl's caught her a catch; Her love-life's at last up to scratch. Life's no longer dull for She's met her a sulphur Head male. She's at last met her match. 79347 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Tiddy Ogg But during one evening of rash And passion-filled loving, A FLASH! Quite settled the fate Of poor twiglet girl's mate, Who collapsed in a small pile of ash. 79348 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Peter Wilkins In Thailand the bugs are tremendous, Creeping in lines never-endous. You can spray till you're blue; They'll continue to chew. Until extinct they do rend us. 79349 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - INSECTA Timothy Torkildson There once was a man from Japan, Who stuck his dick in a clam. He said, with a whirl, As he pulled out a pearl, What a clever man I am! 79350 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA A Mexican fisher, Leones, For live octopi would get bones. He'd cut out the beak And insert his deek, As tentacles squeezed his cohones. 79351 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Fisherfolk in the I. of P. E. (Prince Edward Isle?) Find the sexiest things in the sea, Like the softer, and moister, Indigenous oyster -- Does every Malpequer agree? 79352 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Keith MacMillan 29a So blessed is the bi-phallic limpet: Each rod is so long he must crimp it Inside of his shell, Where tightly they dwell Until a female makes him primp it. 79353 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Actaeon There once were a couple of slugs Indulging in intimate hugs; Said one, "I'm called Doug." Said the other, "Oh fug! Doug, I only hug slugettes with jugs." 79354 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Peter Wilkins To the octopus, sex is no scoff. His problem would task philosophes: One of his legs Can fertilize eggs, But sometimes his mate jerks it off. 79355 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Actaeon That octopussy sure is swell. And blonde or brunette, who can tell? She's just a bit inky And fishfully stinky, And changes her colour as well. 79356 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA An old misanthrope named McRoyster Spent most of his life in a cloister, Because in his youth, He'd attempted, forsooth, To bugger the R's of an oyster. 79357 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA G1276 There once was a man of Cape Cod, Who attemped to bugger a cod. When up came some scallops, And nibbled his bollocks, And now he's a eunuch, by God. 79358 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA L0586 The habits of Dilkington Prodd Are horribly gruesome and odd. He dabbles small snails In his ladyfriends' tails, And lets them creep over his pod. 79359 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA G1304 The morals of Filkington Frodd Are unholy, gruesome, and odd. He dabbles small snails In the mantraps of frails, And lets them creep over his pod. 79360 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Grand Prix Lim 182 A passionate girl from Madrid, Once had an affair with a squid. She said, "I've tried eels And disported with seals, But once you've been squid, you've been "did". 79361 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Cyber Geezer There was a young seaman named Sid Who decided to bugger a squid. But the squid squirted ink On the pink of his dink, And went down in the bilges and hid. 79362 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA G1322 When Pete into Josey next slid, He found her a-wiggle with squid. "A cephalopod Up your puss I find odd! What a comical thing to have hid!" 79363 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA "Not at all, my dear Pete, he is sweet! A tentacly probing twat-treat. Suck-cupping my G- Spot as I pee; He comes jetting ink on the seat." 79364 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA There was a young man of Madrid Who had an affair with a squid. As he wore off his rod In this cephalopod, She squirted her ink--yes she did! 79365 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA G1277 The squid is quite dear to my heart; He's made flashy swimming an art. He looks like my tuft, Is yummy when stuffed, And scoots under power of fart. 79366 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA When your libido's blowing its lid, Consider the virtues of squid. There's nought to awaken Desire like a kraken: Two tentacles extra - no kid! 79367 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Martin Rand It began with a horny squid's wink, At a scuba girl, nude in the drink. She grew hot as his arms Foldled mammary charms. Then succumbed when they tickled her pink. 79368 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA There was a brave damsel of Brighton, Whom nothing could possibly frighten. She plunged in the sea And, with infinite glee, Was fucked in the ass by a Triton. 79369 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA L0456 My octopus, found on a bus, Is quiet and won't raise a fuss. When my lover feels dead, But we'd both like some head, That sucker will do both of us. 79370 ZOOPHILY - INVERT - MOLLUSCA Frank And then there was Benjamin Bright, A contestant on "What's My Delight?" They guessed at his habits With little white rabbits, But were stumped by his mouse and his kite. 79371 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Jim Weaver Collection The thought of the rabbit on sex, Are seldom, if ever, complex. For a rabbit in need, Is a rabbit indeed, And does just as a person expects. 79372 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE A man who came into some money, Decided to marry a Bunny, But the thought of the ears, And the tails of the dears, Made him skip it as being too funny. (Bunny - a waitress in the Playboy Club) 79373 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Explosion of Lims P0206 A sex-mad dyslexic, Maloney, Whenever he grew him a bone, he Would, thus was his habit, To hunt for a rabbit, And get him some cunny from coney. 79374 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Tiddy Ogg There once was a farmer named Claire, Who liked rabbits for sexual fare. His pleasures, unbound, Were dashed to the ground; He was caught with a prepubic hare. 79375 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Donald Dimock My girlfriend considered me funny 'Cause I didn't believe in the "The Bunny" Well, tonight she had fleas And a rabbit disease, And a Faberge egg in her cunny. 79376 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Through the woods rabbits lustily flit Just as fast as their legs will permit. Fornicating non-stop, They go hippity-hop; If they're French, they go lickety-split. 79377 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Bob Giandomenico P9010 A horny young man had the habit, Of sating his urge on a rabbit. He was asked, by some folk, "Are they too small to poke?" He said, "No, the hard part is to grab it." 79378 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE G1184 There once was a rabbit from Nice Who had a hair-trigger release. A lapin du cirque Was four seconds work -- 'Twas only two seconds a crease! 79379 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE H Whelchel That rabbit was taking a dare To jump on your hose unaware, That her reputation (Now in disputation!) Would earn her a name as "loose hare!" 79380 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE There's a rabbit in high Colorado Who will cringe all the day in the shadow, But at night will bestow, On some trembling doe, All the frenzy of pent-up bravado. 79381 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Keith MacMillan A025A There was once an unbalanced he-rabbit, Who had the deplorable habit, Of viewing the cunny Of each female bunny, Then using his pecker to jab it. 79382 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Isaac Asimov It is the unfortunate habit Of the rabbit to breed like a rabbit. One can say without question, This leads to congestion, In the burrows that rabbits inhabit. 79383 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE A penurious goon from Green Bay Likes girls, but won't pay for a lay. Among his odd habits He raises she-rabbits, But how they are used, who can say? 79384 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Grand Prix Lim 639 A Bostonian Person had habits, Which induced him to fondle young rabbits; When he diddled eighteen, He turned perfectly green -- In full sight of the Lodges and Cabots. 79385 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Edwardian Leer 043 "Do people have more fun than rabbits?" I inquired of ten thousand fat Babbits... Their sleeping and feeding And incontinent breeding Shows they have just about the same habits! 79386 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Grand Prix Lim 923 A hillbilly from West Virginia Was humping pet rabbit, Davinia. He said, "Rabbits, I stew 'em, Right after I screw 'em; I'll skin ya', Davinia, while in ya'." 79387 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE H Myers T9801 The hills are alive with the sound Of the regular humping and pound- Ing of thousands of hares In their underground lairs; For they reckon that spring is around. 79388 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE The noted biologist Hugh Taught rabbits to dance and to do Many tricks very well At the sound of the bell, So the rabbits taught Hugh how to screw. 79389 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-2116 A randy young rabbit quite fertile Loved a cute little bunny named Myrtle. When she said, "You're to fast," He said, "Kiss my ass! Perhaps you should go with a turtle." 79390 ZOOPHILY - LEPORIDAE Anon One strange night, just about three, I found myself down in the sea. I had a wish To swim with the fish, And fell in love with a Manatee. 79391 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder I met her down in the sea grass, Introduced by an old sea Bass. I stroked her fin, Thinking I will get in, And get me some Manatee ass. 79392 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder I came up short, when she said, "No sex big boy, not till we're wed." Then a great big shark Spoke out of the dark, "If you leave now, buddy, you're dead!" 79393 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder The preacher was a great big Whale; Ten thousand pounds he tipped the scale. In wedded bliss, My bride I kissed; What you won't do for Manatee tail. 79394 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder Then the Octopus made a motion To have the reception in the ocean. Then the Squid Did second his bid, So it seemed like a pretty good notion. 79395 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder A school of smelt did play and sing, When I thought, did I hear a ping? It wasn't a fluke, Subs powered by nukes Were keeping an eye on everything. 79396 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder The Sea Horses frolicked and played; The Oysters and Clams did parade; Everyone's eyes Then opened wide For a sexy strip by a drunken Mermaid. 79397 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder The party was a raucous rave; We were swept by a big ocean wave. I had in sight A very long night, And my energy I needed to save. 79398 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder We heard a complaint from a Tuna; It couldn't have happened much sooner. I asked a crab To call me a cab, And we left to become honeymooners. 79399 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder The moon shone through waves above; My honey was ready for love. Our bodies in line; A moment divine, As I moved in and started to shove. 79400 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder Locked together we floated upstream Then she let out a passionate scream. I increased my stroke, And then I awoke! It was nothing but a messy wet dream. 79401 ZOOPHILY - MANATEE Puff Adder The sex life of the kangaroo, He jumps the she that he'd woo. Once, two of them jumped; In midair they bumped, And broke both their peckers in two. 79402 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Irving Superior P8611 I asked an Australian named Dale Where they kept all the pussy for sale. He replied, "For a screw You can try kangaroo, But your buddy must hold up the tail." 79403 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Albin Chaplin P8611 There once was a lady named Thalia; Who with men, was an absolute failure. But what she could do With a male kangaroo, Astounded the men of Australia. 79404 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL VOL 3 A randy marsupial, Reeves, Spent some time with some whores 'twixt their knees. When they ask him for money, He'd say, "Listen, Honey, A koala eats bushes and leaves." 79405 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Scott Hendricks An Australian redhead named Stu Went out to see his new love, Pru. "Outback," her Mom said, "In the desert red?", "No, outback fucking the 'roo!" 79406 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL MrMalo An Australian 'Roo' from down under, Which I sighted, one day made me wonder. Though she was no slouch, Her marsupial pouch, Seemed to be getting rotunder. 79407 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Stan Lee A hillbilly farmer named Hollis, Used possums and snakes for his solace. The children had scales, And prehensile tails, And voted for Governor Wallace. 79408 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Anon G1255 Unless 'twas a slip of the tongue This "Hollis tail's" loaded with dung A possum while hanging Makes difficult banging, Unless you are pretty well hung. 79409 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL The possum, a marvelous creature, Has a tail that is truly a reacher: Wrapped firmly around The waist of a hound, It makes sexual exploits a feature! 79410 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Imagine the shock of that same Rube farmer, poor Hollis by name, When he found that the possum Could wrap 'em and toss 'em! It makes hanging and banging quite tame! 79411 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL A keeper in Hamburg's great zoo, Tried to have a young girl kangaroo. But she zipped up her pouch, And the rascal said, "Ouch! You've got half a peter in you." 79412 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL L0665 When you see your first kangaroo, You'll wonder if it's really true. Its front legs are frail, It's all ass and tail, How it screws -- I haven't a clue. 79413 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Larry Davis P8412 There was an old pander from Perth Who gave all the animals mirth. He'd bend for a 'roo, (How they love to screw) They'd hump him for all they were worth. 79414 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Gearhart Those cuddly wombats from Australia, Demonstrate the most curious behavior. They don't nudge, wink, or date, They just copulate! Population control is a failure. 79415 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Nik Synytskyy An animal trainer I knew Is in love with a nice kangaroo, So he pockets his pride As they live there inside Of the tolerant Kalamazoo. 79416 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Keith MacMillan A064A My 'roo and I screwed on the couch. For his honor, I can certainly vouch. When he started to woo, He said, "I love you," And pulled a condom from out of his pouch. 79417 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Actaeon Now Aussie, I know you're a sport, And sometimes have been known to cavort. So I have to wonder When you are down under, Would you ever a KANGAROO COURT. 79418 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Observer Old Travis is prone to consort; With Bessie he's know to cavort; But I have to wonder, If he was down under, Would he ever a kangaroo court? 79419 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Observer I've heard that they're rough and they're ready. I've talked with a friend and he said he Thinks that all that jumpin' Makes difficult humpin', 'Cause it's hard to hold their butts steady. 79420 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Observer While Archie was trying to hump The nearest marsupial rump, The kangaroo jumped And then suddenly thumped Him and injured his balls and his stump. 79421 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Peter Wilkins After she had been had in Sedalia, A sexwise young thing known as Thalia Remarked to Big Tad, "Though you're really not bad, I prefer kangaroo in Australia." 79422 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Grand Prix Lim 100 An incredible beast is the kangaroo-- Gives his mate a marsupial bangeroo. She spreads legs asunder, He enters Down Under, With his firm, aboriginal whangaroo. 79423 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Richard Lederer P9603 A marsupial type (quadruped) Explained to her husband named Ed, "From sex please abstain And endure the pain, As the kids are asleep in their bed." 79424 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Al Willis P9708 There was an old pander from Perth Who kept a koala from birth. Her tiny vagina Just couldn't be fina For his pecker of minature girth. 79425 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL TuttaGioia A randy young Aussie named Paula Went down on a furry koala. And she nearly flipped, 'cause She'd taste eucalyptus Whenever the bear's spunk she'd swalla. 79426 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Scott There once was a Koala who said, "I am willing to give out some head." From far away they came, Just to get in the game. And they all say that he is well fed. 79427 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Nigeyboy I once met this girl from down under, Whose family and friends had all shunned her. It had something to do With a male kangaroo, To whom she had offered to plunder. 79428 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL H Myers Hiding in trees full of blossom Was Hilda the horny opossum; With both of her hands She'd grab he-possums' glands, And divinely proceeded to toss 'em. 79429 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL The possum, (in latin, 'Didelphis') Has a twin-shafted dick on his pelvis. The females two wombs Absorb all his spume. He can come twice without feeling selfish. 79430 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Actaeon Poor Joey lay still in the pouch, As Kanga bent over the couch; He knew he would rue What his papa would do, And he did; and poor Joey cried "Ouch!" 79431 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Peter Wilkins After tippling two six-packs of brew, Willie staggered and swayed to the zoo. His bestial ways Caused gossip for days, For he ravished a she-kangaroo. 79432 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL G1207 A bestial bum at Bronx Zoo Tried it out with a she-kangaroo... He was slated to fail, For one flail of her tail Knocked him cold from ten-thirty till two... 79433 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Grand Prix Lim 627 There was a young fellow from Woolagong; His marsupial fetish was truly wrong. I don't like to asperse, But he's very perverse; If only he'd just use his wooly dong. 79434 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Anon Us guys want an Australian, too. Who's nether a cow nor a ewe. So now do you know Just where we should go For some nice Aussie box of a 'roo? 79435 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Travis Brasell I sit, tossing off, on my couch, And dream of a beast with a pouch. If you stick your rocket, In a wallaby's pocket, Do you or the 'roo holler "Ouch!"? 79436 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Tiddy Ogg Now I know you do not screw Any sheep; though your didgeridoo Does stand at attention At merely the mention Of wombat or red kangaroo. 79437 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Peter Wilkins I now have a Wombat and two Marsupial grey Kangaroo, Some white-tailed Galahs But nothing that "baa's" And Monday I date an Emu. 79438 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Archie Wombats hide under the ground; It's hard to know if they're around. But if the earth moves Before you make looves, You'd better get off of its mound. 79439 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Archie Australia's a moving place On the backs of the wombat race. It's not easy to know How many we grow; There's more than we can keep trace. 79440 ZOOPHILY - MARSUPIAL Archie There was a young man named Calhoun, Who kept, as a pet, a baboon. ( pet was a red-assed baboon.) His mother said, "Chumly, I don't think is comely To feed your baboon with a spoon. (to wank off your pet..) 79441 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS G1216 Not subtle, the female baboon; For her, no ladylike swoon. With sex in her head, He ass gets quite red. It's hard to ignore such a moon. 79442 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Larry Davis P8412 There once was a sacred baboon, That lived by the river Rangoon. And all of the women That came to go swimmin', He'd bang by the light of the moon. 79443 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS L0576 The male baboon's courtship was crass; His wooing impressed not his lass; He said, "Babe, I'm a catch! We could make a great match!" She said, "I'll say! Your face and my ass!" 79444 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Robin K. Willoughby P8408 A baboon with a RUTALANT rear Is ready to mate, so I hear. The very next stage With male in the cage, Will occur through the bars, have no fear. 79445 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Elois A fellow got drunk in Scott's Bluff -- Went looking one night for strange stuff. He woke up at noon Next to a baboon; It kissed him and said, "Strange enough?" 79446 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Donald Dimock Santa Claus had a big monkey; His wife said "Groovy and funky!" He'd search in her twat To find the "G-spot" And when he'd come, it would be chunky! 79447 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Chilly Willy T9712 Male Bonobo monkeys, they say Greet each female they meet in the day With a matter-of-fact And most intimate act -- An arboreal "roll in the hay." 79448 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS John E Mayhood P9807 And when they are having their fling On a branch or a vine or a swing, Kama Sutra editions Don't show the positions They use when they're doing their thing. 79449 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS John E Mayhood P9807 Now geneticists seem to agree That the Bonobo monkey and we Nearly match DNA And the way that we play Seems to fit that conclusion. Whoopee! 79450 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS John E Mayhood P9807 At Los Angeles Zoo there's a crop Of chimp pregnancies no one can stop. Yet of males in the fold, Two are toddlers, one's old, And the others have all had the chop. 79451 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Prof M-G Feng-Feng and her lover named June, Gave a hand job to their pet baboon. June scooped up every bit Of the gob that was spit, And fed it to Feng with a spoon. 79452 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Jim Weaver Collection An innocent gal at the zoo, On seeing what chimpanzee do, Exclaimed, "Welladay, If they're playing THAT way, Wouldn't folks find fun doing it too?" 79453 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Grand Prix Lim 867 The monarch of ancient Kowloon Was known to be struck by the moon. At the full moon he'd creep In the jungle, asleep, Attempting to fuck a baboon. 79454 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS G1265 Jane Goodall fed wine to a chimp; She plied him with champagne and shrimp. She jumped on his bones And rattled his stones. And now the chimp walks with a limp. 79455 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Al Willis P9710 A scientist known as the Whiz, Looked into some strange monkey biz. When he peeked through the keyhole, To observe a chimp's pee-hole, What he got was an eyeful of jizz. 79456 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Neal Wilgus P8511 There was a young man from Rangoon; At the sight of a bottom, he'd swoon. His wife's butt was pale, Unstripey and stale, So he ran off with a female baboon. 79457 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS TuttaGioia In Oggland, most Sundays in June, We'll get sticks and bells and balloon, And go dance the morris, While ladies like Doris Go zoowards and mount a baboon. 79458 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS A prudish young lady named Drew Watched monkeys make love in the zoo. She said, "Procreating Seems MOST nauseating... It can't be I was made that way, too!" 79459 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Grand Prix Lim 681 The monkey was preening his mate, When he told her, "Your hiney looks great"; Then they screwed in the breeze At the top of the trees With a force that was highly innate. 79460 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Cap'n Bean P0402 A lecherous Greek I'll call Gnossos Yearned to diddle a monkey's proboscis, So he leapt in its cage But went off in a rage When the zookeeper swatted his wha'zis. 79461 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Robin K. Willoughby P8408 A keeper of monkeys is Andy, Around those small primates so handy. Wwhenever they screw, As monkeys oft do, It certainly makes Andy randy. 79462 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Julia Strawn P8711 Her cunt swells as big as a blimp, But tight! Oy! Me dick's in a crimp! She screeches so loud, I feel kinda proud... There's nothing like fucking a chimp. 79463 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS There was an old man of Khartoum, Who kept a baboon in his room. "It reminds me," he said, "Of a lady who's dead." But he never would tell us of whom. 79464 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS B. Bourchier or W R Inge With his chimp on a leash, an old Hunky Went to visit a whorehouse in Bunkie. Although he had his fun, She said when he's done, "I'd rather be screwed by the monkey!" 79465 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS A. N. Wilkins P8408 There once was a fine lass named June Who was buggered by a singing baboon. "'Twas both good and bad, The best sex I've had, But the dumb beast can't carry a tune!" 79466 ZOOPHILY - MONKEYS Jeeves The young nymphomaniac Betty Went searching the world for a yeti. She said, "There's no man Compares to a snowman, For stopping your hole getting sweaty. 79467 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Paul Graham We all heard the tale, long ago Of a beast who left tracks in the snow. "Bigfoot", he was called, And I was appalled -- There's another fact all ought to know... 79468 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Bigfoot's tracks one day I did see, They were indeed big, yesiree -- But this fact that I'll mention Is what caught my attention: There weren't only two tracks, but three! 79469 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL The third track was right in between, And I knew what that had to mean. If he didn't cheat, He had more than big feet -- 'Twas the biggest one I've ever seen! 79470 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL There once was a dragon call Mick, Who liked to play with his dick, He came with a force, That would strangle a horse, Stating loudly that that was the trick... 79471 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Now Mick had a thing for a bucket, Remarkably it came from Nantucket. He breathed on it so hard, His flame sorely marred The poor thing and basically fucked it... 79472 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL A man from the south of the Somme, Was charged with molesting a gnome. The pervert protested, "Why was I arrested? Together, we were both alone!" 79473 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Phil T The Griffin's a curious creature, With both lion and eagle-like features. His 'nads are all furred, And he flips his own bird; He's as likely to screw you as eat 'cha. 79474 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Actaeon Wonderland's leading lass, Alice, Got into unusual malice. In search of some cock, She laid Jabberwock, And developed a sizeable callus. 79475 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Actaeon It's said that Medusa was celibate And stayed that way just for the hell of it. But the feminine organ Of this famous Gorgon Had snake-bites where each scaly fella bit. 79476 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Wendi Hoffenberg A sweaty young yeti named Betty, Had a love in the park, Serengeti. An ungainly old gnu, Who was faithful and true, With love ready and heady and steady. 79477 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Isaac Asimov Now Sindbad came down with the pox; Screwing birds he'd find down by the docks. Yet he was heard to say That he'd found a new way, When he had to, to get off his rocs! 79478 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Anon There was a young snowgirl named Brigid, Who appeared to the snowmen as frigid. She was melted away On a December day, By a snowstud with icicles rigid. 79479 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Jim Weaver Collection I've a theory I think irrefutable, Although you may think it's disputable. If the Sphinx were a mammal, He'd jump on the camel; Then his smile would be wide -- not inscrutable! 79480 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Friar A camel once strove, by the Nile, The Sphinx's rear end to defile. But the Sphinx's tight rump Gave the camel his hump, And the Sphinx, it's inscrutable smile. 79481 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Bob Giandomenico P9206 Someone said, Cleo remember, A Sphinx has a very large member. After a short while The Sphinx wore the smile, And Cleo was happy but tender. 79482 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL The Sphinx is not one to forget And the reason he smiles, I will bet. He still knows to this day, In a wry kind of way, Only one hump the camel will get! 79483 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Friar The unicorn, lured by the maiden, Laid his head in her lap as she bade him. When no one could watch, She proffered her crotch, And he left her loins heavy and laden. 79484 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Actaeon Two unicorn stallions were horning, And their feelings for fillies were scorning. These sexed-up equines Spent the night "69", And they both wound up geldings by morning. 79485 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Jim Weaver Collection A unicorn couple, aswoon, Made love in a shaded lagoon. After wooing they rose And stood nose to nose, And fenced in the light of the moon. 79486 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Actaeon Two unicorn studs sought a mare But uncovered a passion quite rare. They paused, quite enthralled, And mutually balled, And their horns wound up gelding the pair. 79487 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Actaeon A wistful young lady named Carr, Divulged her perversions bizarre. "Though this may sound preposterous, I have fucked a rhinocerous, But the unicorn's better by far." 79488 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Albin Chaplin 3024 G1212 So I said to the mermaid, "My sweet, I'll ask, if it's not indiscreet: Since there isn't a gap To be found in your lap, By chance, is there one in your seat?" 79489 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL When Betty and yeti first met, He saw that her quim was so wet. So he probed with his nose, But the poor lassie froze. You can bet that she's set solid yet. 79490 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Tiddy Ogg I've heard him called Sasquatch and Yeti. No matter the name, I just bet he Strikes fear in the heart (And envy in part!) With that 6 foot piece of spaghetti. 79491 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL But the wildman that I fear the most Is not on the east or west coast. He's up north where it snows And he eats all that grows (but prefers black caviar on toast) 79492 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Or fettucine in a nice sauce Or sweet rhubarb roots topped with peat moss. In his younger days He made untold forays, But now his waist is three feet across. 79493 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL A religious explorer named Betty, For a sacred adventure was ready; She climbed Himalayas In search of her Deus, But instead was seduced by a Yeti. 79494 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Ed Potts P8412 The zorp is a beast quite satyrical; Its penis is massive and sherical. The females are slim With rectangular quims; That the species survives is a miracle. 79495 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL Actaeon Said a mermaid, "No matter what ails me, There's one cure I find never fails me: I've got me a gob Who does such a good job, I'm in heaven each time that he scales me." 79496 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID G1180 There was an old salt on the Banks, Who said to a mermaid, "No thanks. The last time I tried Those scales took my hide Clear off from my crotch to my shanks." 79497 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID John Ciardi One day as I fished on the sea, A mermaid came visiting me. Though just right on top, 'Tother end was a flop, With no parts to show she was a she. 79498 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID John Miller 0075 "We lay eggs," she informed me with glee, "Which are fertilized as they float free." Mermen are excused If they are less than enthused, And merchildren rare in the sea. 79499 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID John Miller 0075b To a meremaid a sailor said, "Honey, They way you're constructed is funny. You blow in full sail While I'm groaning for tail, So you're just a sad sack for MY money." 79500 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Grand Prix Lim 668 I once met a mermaid named Dinah While cruising the seas off of China. And as an observer My sexual fervor Was wasted; she lacked a vagina. 79501 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Tiddy Ogg So then, as suggested, I tried To give her a taste of my pride. We tried 69 And I started to dine, But it ain't right without some french fried. 79502 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Tiddy Ogg A fisherman Fischer out fishin' Was arrested for fishin' by wishin', That a mermaid he'd find. Then he thought, nevermind. She'd have scales, and her tail's just for swishin'. 79503 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Jerry Nordal In my life I have had some heartaches, And I have had some unlucky breaks; Once met a mermaid, And thought I'd get laid, But she didn't have what it takes. 79504 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Observer A mermaid enticed a rough sailor Into stripping so he could then nail her. He did as she asked And started his task, But the maid had no cunt, so he failed her. 79505 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Actaeon "Although mermaids today are quite rare," Observed an old seamnan named Lehr, "When a man was in luck, They once gave a good fuck And had seaweed and not pubic hair." 79506 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID A. N. Wilkins P8602 A maritime gent named Fiorello Maintained an aquatic bordello. There you'd roger a seahorse On a bed of soft sea gorse, Or fuck mermaids in pools of fish Jello. 79507 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID G1235 If you ever go 'round Cape Horn, At dusk or the first thing of morn, A mermaid there sits, Flashing eyes, tail, and tits; Your libido will kick up a storm. 79508 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Tiddy Ogg But be careful 'cause everyone knows She is fish from her waist to her toes. And a girl sans vagina Is worse than angina, But if lucky, you'll say "Thar she blows!" 79509 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Tiddy Ogg Don't listen to that hussy mermaid, She lures all sailor men, I'm afraid -- To the bottom of the sea For all eternity -- Where never again they get laid! 79510 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Kaylin But you'll go to her -- all men has ter, And she'll suck you off faster and faster. But just as you're coming, In your ears you hear drumming, You're drowning, it ends in disaster. 79511 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Tiddy Ogg A mermaid's a difficult thing, If you're wanting your willy to wring. Scout around a bit more At this godsend onshore -- Have you noticed she knows how to sing? 79512 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Tiddy Ogg The merman pulled down his pants And the woman looked at him askance. He said with a grin, I can walk on my fin, But please don't ask me to dance. 79513 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Chairman Steve I cannot deny that I harbour a Desire to go fishing in Scarborough; It's not for the cod, I'll be using my rod, But for mermaids as hungry as Barbara. 79514 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Peter Wilkins I caught her last year in Capri, While lazily fishing the lea; She gobbled the shaft Of my rod, fore and aft, As I lifted her out of the sea. 79515 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Peter Wilkins And I, overcome with emotion, Lay back and enjoyed the devotion She gave to my rod, 'Til the force of my wad Shot her back to the depths of the ocean. 79516 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Peter Wilkins This catch-and-release fairy tale Beguiles every hot-blooded male, With spear in his hand, Massaging his gland, And dreaming of scaly mer-tail. 79517 ZOOPHILY - MYTHICAL - MERMAID Hugh Clary I forgive you my dear, I won't blame You for thinking me some kind of game And moreover I dread That it's right what's been said: That we sheep mostly all look the same. 79518 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE A lonely young shepherd from Crete Thought he was being discrete. When the rest went to town, His robe, it came down; The whole island heard the flock bleat! 79519 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Matt Trepal A sheep farmer roaming his land Found he always had partners at hand. No struggle, no strife, No shrewish old wife; Ain't animal husbandry grand! 79520 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Lassie's Lover TP9901 A white Aussie sheep's saddened bleatin' Is caused by her romantic meetin' With good Aussie blokes, Who with deft flowing strokes, Will screw'em, then shear'em, then eat'em! 79521 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE I don't know what you men see in sheep! Why not let the poor innocents sleep? That's why they say, "Bah!" And call for their Ma-a-a. It's enough to make anyone weep! 79522 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Edwina Leer But sheep can be very appealing. They don't moan of headaches and feeling Too tired for humping. And while you are pumping, They don't talk about painting the ceiling. 79523 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Tiddy Ogg Old shepherds most often are queer. The whole female sex, they do fear. They spurn marriage beds, Preferring instead, To bugger their sheep from the rear. 79524 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE I entered the room to find seating, When I saw men dressed as sheep, bleating. I said to them all, Backing into the hall, "Excuse me, I've got the wrong meeting." 79525 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Paul Isaacs A young man to the sheep barn was goin'; Heard his dad in back, start to groan. He moved up within hearin'; Said, "Dad, are you shearin'?" His dad said, "Hell no, catch your own!" (shearing - sharing, pun, oh well - McW) 79526 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection We now know that Ichabod creep Made sexual use of a sheep. He patronized whores In our local love stores, Till he found out that sheep were so cheap. 79527 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE G1219 I've heard though, that Yank gals are cheap, So across the Atlantic I'll creep, To find what you've got In twat that is hot, That might be even better than sheep. 79528 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE An excited farm boy named Tex, Informed his male friends he expects To not get much sleep, After cloning his sheep, 'Cause it doubles his chances for sex! 79529 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Good shepherds with their sheep will trod Across miles and miles of hard sod; The sheep lay at night In cool of moonlight: They're comforted by shepherd's rods. 79530 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE A man who was well-known to keep In his bed, a pretty young sheep, Said, "I don't want to mount her, I just want to count her, When I've trouble falling asleep. 79531 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Anon A zoo soldier out in his Jeep Encountered a field full of sheep. He stoked up his ammo, Dressed in full camo, And into their midsts he did creep. 79532 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A shepherd with schedules to keep, Has trouble getting to sleep. So at the end of the day When he hits the old hay, He starts out by cunting his sheep. 79533 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Actaeon We turn to the novelist Dickens Who prized shagging sheep for their kickin's. 'Cause ovine objections Give stronger erections, And they're roomier inside than chickens. 79534 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Lucy While the shepherd was tending his flock He was reading the ewes "Dr. Spock". But before the day's end. He complained to his friend "That talk about Spock is a crock!" 79535 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE John E Mayhood It's cold and the wind blows in gales; I'll freeze in the hills or the dales. So I'll risk stabbing pain As my wrist gets a sprain, As I dream of those sheep down in Wales. 79536 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Tiddy Ogg It's sheep that are popular here; We shag 'em and go for a beer. Though cows are alright, Sheep are more tight. Its mutton we eat here, I fear. 79537 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE In New Zealand, a youthful stock-yarder, Though he knows sheep are meant for the larder, Will go give on a biff On the edge of a cliff! Why? 'Cause is pushes back harder. 79538 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Mike Dale A lonely sheepherder from Texas Doesn't know what conventional sex is. He will grab for release Anything that has fleece, Caring not what the sex he selects is. 79539 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Pierce Evans There once was a young man from Wence Who's fondness for sheep was immense. A flock he did spy So he undid his fly, But his balls got caught on the fence. 79540 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Judd A Welshman who came from Caerphilly Had a habit that was very silly. From the bushes he'd leap Upon unsuspecting sheep, And give them the length of his willy. 79541 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Taff The old redneck, in court, is quite tense; He's on trial for a sordid offense; "Cross my heart, hope to die; Oh, Your Honor, please, I Was just helping the sheep o'er the fence!" 79542 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE There was a shepherd from Dundee; Thoughts of sex would fill him with glee. In the hills there they keep Hundreds of sheep, Roaming the countryside free. 79543 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Mushroom The harlots of London are frightful, And the fairies, the bastards, are spiteful. But I'm not in a heat, For I happened to meet A sheep in Hyde Park. 'Twas delightful. 79544 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE G1792 My love like the ocean is deep And I do find it hard when I sleep. For our Union I yearn But I have one concern -- Does it mean I must give up my sheep. 79545 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Al Chaplin P8605 There were two young shepherds named Fox Renowned for the size of their cocks. When at home, in bad weather, They would both fuck together -- In nice weather they fucked with their flocks. 79546 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1137 Said a leering old coot of Big Sandy, "While I think a woman is dandy, I keep a few sheep... They are willing...and cheap, And in a hot rush, mighty handy. 79547 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Grand Prix Lim 720 There once was a young man from Teep, Whose morals had long gone to sleep. If no ladies were near Nor a gentleman's rear, He would banish his ardour with sheep. 79548 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE C M I have this peculiar quirk, For in bushes and hedges I lurk, And on hearing a sheep, I will suddenly leap From the shrubbery, ready to jerk. 79549 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE In Armenia dwelt quite a prude. He would never get into the mood, Except once every spring, When sheep shearing would bring A big hard-on from seeing them nude. 79550 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Don Moore P0402 In Wyoming - where men are men; The sheep are scared out of the pen. On wild wide range The sight may seem strange But we're used to it -- then again? 79551 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Now the sheep are my darlings, it's true. It's what I use when I want a screw. They wriggle and buck As I give them a fuck, Until I'm busted by the boys in blue. 79552 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Taff One more verse in praise of the sheep: You'll find there's no need to be neat; You don't need a suit on, When dating a mouton, Just big boots to take her rear feet. 79553 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE The sheep Freddy keeps in his room Is no doubt a pet, we presume, Though he murmurs with pride Of his lovely new bride, And refers to himself as a groom... 79554 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Grand Prix Lim 351 Herd buggery? Very ambitious. When choosing the breed, be judicious: No gnus is good gnus, Just try lambs or ewes, For lascivious cravings pernicious. 79555 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE A cautious old herder named Heep Said, "What ye have sowed shall ye reap; As I'm fearful of AIDS I lay no men nor maids: I service and recommend sheep." 79556 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Armand E Singer 817 A sheepherder said to a whore: "I don't buy me cunt in a store. For I bugger me sheep-- They're clean and they're cheap, And they don't make me Old Faithful sore." 79557 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE G1345 Wyoming is that fellow's home, Where mule deer and antelope roam. He snuggles with sheep Because it is cheap -- He does not need a spermicide foam. 79558 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Said a sheep man with utter disgust, "My love life is really a bust. Since they are cloning, Ewes are bemoaning; It has taken the thrill from my thrust." 79559 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Tom Patton P9705 If garments of wool clog my sheep, I set them aside in a heap. Let the winter winds blow As sheep-fucking I go, Though the snow may be ever so deep. 79560 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1179 A shepherd who came from Bangkok, Used to dabble in watered-down stock. His peculiar perversion Was total immersion Till he drowned all the sheep in his flock. 79561 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE John Ciardi Jeff from the land of Brazil Found a lone sheep on the hill. He tried and he tried To spread its ass wide, But wooly fucker wouldn't hold still. 79562 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection It is my little kink, kind of neat; You're looking real good and complete. Can you do me a favor So this I can savour, Instead of moaning, just bleat. 79563 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Spinner So many fixations 'bout sheep! Such fables! I'd say talk is cheap; That wool looks so scratchy; What gives?... Nice plump snatchie! I hope they don't talk in their sleep! 79564 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE I met this young stud with a Jeep; I moistened and longed for him deep. I went to his ranch; I gave him carte blanche, But he'd only get up for his sheep! 79565 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection For sheep, once I've given a care- ful tupping, the payback is fair. There's cash for their trimmin', Far better than women; You only get underarm hair. 79566 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Tiddy Ogg There's a shepherd stuck out on the range With a malady wondrously strange, For he slept with his flock, Till he found out his cock Had been badly affected by mange. 79567 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE G1307 Shaggy Agnes, my four-legged pal, Sure surpasses an ordinary gal. With her feet in my boots, How she wiggles and scoots! Sort of like what they call petit mal. 79568 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Allen Wolverton A shameless sheepherder named Brown Admits he get moody and down, So he slides his huge pole in Some wooly sheep's colon And rides the poor bugger to town. 79569 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Armand E Singer 929 There's a little old man, name of Streep, Who the neighbors all think is a creep. He always is horny, His books are all porny, Which he reads to his large flock of sheep. 79570 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Tom Patton P0107 To the shepherdess, he said, "To sleep With you, is a dream I must keep." But he was a gent. The guy really meant, "I would much prefer one of your sheep." 79571 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Theo Heller P9504 Admitted it's best if you clip Their fleeces before you let rip, But giving a ram To a cute woolly lamb Is tradition -- they call it sheep dip. 79572 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE The gal was deep in despair, 'Cause all the cowboys from there Wear rubber boots In the hot pursuit Of sheep who are running quite scared. 79573 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Jim Weaver Collection I went down to the old county fair, But I got in some trouble down there. Some alcohol ingested, Some sheep were molested, And I sure gave those chickens a scare! 79574 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Clint Bement Dom was a webbie for Demon, And sheep were his pride and his dream-on. To wash them in milk And dress them in silk, Then fill them right up with his semen. 79575 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Dominic Ramsey An old miser was once heard to say, After roll Number One in the hay: "This is nowhere as cheap As my usual sheep, Yet I think sex may be here to stay." 79576 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE G1313 Some girls hate it and some dote; While others say no in a note. But you cannot go wrong To impale on your dong A big highland sheep or a goat. 79577 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Tim Chimera Or possibly thing that go Moo; But maybe wild haggis will do. They're easy to catch With a tickle and scratch, And are soft in the center to screw. 79578 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Peter Wilkins There was a sheepherder named Fretter Who said of his wife, "I'll forget her. Though there's much to be said For a lady in bed, I must say that a sheep is much better." 79579 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1138 My gonads are somewhat alarming; My prostate is fit for embalming. My todger is twisted; My testicles blistered -- I'll have to give up the sheep farming. 79580 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Sheep Fever! Oh no! Ega-a-a-a-ad! Could be caught by only a ca-a-a-a-d! How would it show? Would everyone know? I think that I'm feeling b-a-a-a-d. 79581 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Les Stewart Happy's a sheep in Wyoming; The cowboys who live there go roaming. They don't mess with Bess; Most sheep cause less stress. Those 'boys are not into downhoming. 79582 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE There once was a laddie of Neep, Who demanded everything cheap. When he wanted to screw, There was nothing to do But take out his passion on sheep. 79583 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE L0624 On the talk show last night, Dr. Ellis, The sex shrink, took two hours to tell us, It's all right to enjoy, A rosy-cheeked boy, So long as your sheep don't get jealous. 79584 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE John Ciardi Where ever I go, where ever my place, With many a vow and locked embrace. A fistfull of wool, A rearward pull; Those sheep have such a pretty face! 79585 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Oddo Von Schlong T9711 There was a young man of Lapeer, Renowned as a fine engineer. He invented a kit So the sheep wouldn't shit, While he made an approach from the rear. 79586 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1157 A sheep in a field was alone And the Welshman had a huge bone. As no one was in sight, He gave it a fright, And now all his seeds have been sown. 79587 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Taff The old man has a really big gut; His sheep would be loving him, but The over-large size Of his butt and his thighs, Means that he gets stuck in a rut. 79588 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Marlene Lewis A sheepherder out in Van Buren Lost half of his flock with the murrain. Quoth the state veterinary, "You ought not to carry Them live spirochetes of your'n." (Murrain - plague affecting animals) 79589 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE L0659 In the weak mind of Frigham Young Freep, His one thought of sex is with sheep. But each time, when he's through, He gobbles lamb stew -- What a half-cannibal, half-crazy creep! 79590 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Grand Prix Lim 622 G1240 Said the shepherd, "When we are alone, I caress her erogenous zone, While I blow in her ear. But I harbor this fear: Is she my real true love or a clone?" 79591 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE William N. Nesbit P9705 The shepherd was feeling quite blue, And he didn't know quite what to do., With sheep he'd not dare, 'Cause he thought Tupperware, Was what Rams wore to tupper the ewe. 79592 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE CM You can count on me, I won't fail. You like bleating? I won't moan or wail. I just wish it would last; You are simply too fast, With two shakes of your lamb's tail. 79593 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Karen There was an man from Poole Who had sheep on the end of his tool. He thought it quite larkish To use its anal starfish, Although his neighbors all thought it cruel. 79594 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Richard Here's something I've heard about sheep From a shepherd who flocks while we sleep. On the edge of a cliff, They'll be pushing back if You are ramming it home nice and deep. 79595 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE A young vicar from Canterbury Who boned sixteen sheep in a hurry. He was tending his flock While inserting his cock: "Why the hell are these things so damn furry?" 79596 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Lims For Year - 01 If you want virgin wool, you must plan And the flock you must carefully scan. Shear the sheep that are fleet, Which are quick on their feet, And run faster than sheepherders can. 79597 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1173 Mr. Fisher confessed to his priest: "I'm afraid that I've been an old beast. My kink is to peep Shearers fucking sheep -- But discretion I practice at least!" 79598 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE A Wyoming rancher would creep Out at night to inseminate sheep. He had to feel fleece Before he could release, Now his wife wears wool panties to sleep. 79599 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE The sheepherder came with his knife To slaughter a sheep for his wife. Said the sheep, "Why you freak, It was only last week That you promised to love me for life." 79600 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1154 Beause of the war in the news, Most ladies ignore their lim's muse, And rather than writing, They're watching the fighting, And I'm left alone with the ewes. 79601 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis Brasell But make no mistake, no complaints From me wil you hear, nor restraints By me will I place On my boffing pace Of ewes, unless I tear their taints. 79602 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis Brasell Your mind is so very productive; I knew you'd do something constructive, Like fucking some ewes, While we watch the news. Those taints must be awfully seductive. 79603 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Carol At my age, a 'taint' grows much dearer, And always I want one much nearer! If you want to know How yours is, then go And spread your legs over a mirror. 79604 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis Brasell Three parts to Animal Husbandry. Part two is Animal Wifery. And since some farms have ewes And men sometimes ewes use, Part three is Animal Buggery. 79605 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Irving Superior P9011 If I were a buxom young ewe, And could choose between three for a screw, An Aussie or Kiwi Or Mac with a wee-wee, I'd run fifty miles, wouldn't you? 79606 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Rick Limer T9711 "They started cloning, it's true," He remarked to his favorite ewe. "Don't feel neglected When I'm not erected; It will always be another you." 79607 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Tom Patton P9705 While cloning a beast for a jolly, Angus said of the sheep he called Dolly, "Though I'm used to a bitch When I get the itch, She's better than Collie, by Golly! 79608 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Irish Those shepherds who watch flocks by night, Are often turned on by the sight Of succulent ewes, Who never refuse, To do what the shepherd thinks right. 79609 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Shagging a sheep is okay; It passes a long lonely day. But turn them to the front, You can still reach their cunt, Plus kissing is easier this way! 79610 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Tiddy As the nearsighted pervert once drew it, "There's a right and a wrong way to do it." But he said, unperplexed, "Though the ewe was quite vexed, If I can see it, I screw it." 79611 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Nat Koch A farmer from Saskatchewan, Whose life was devoid of all fun, Was rumored to woo A two-year-old ewe, Who was also doing his son. 79612 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Jim Weaver Collection The shepherd has his favorite ewe, And to her alone does he remain true. But his amour lanate, An unlikely playmate, Turns fickle when her ram wants to screw. 79613 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Norm Brust There once was an Aussie named Bruce, Whose morals, with sheep, were quite loose. He buggered a ewe From Wooloomooloo And filled it right up with his juice. 79614 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE CyberCelt T9711 Hey-ho-diddle-diddle, the cow Jumped over the moon and said "Wow! I've got a great view Of Ogg and his ewe; I'm glad it's not me down there now! 79615 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis Brasell The shepherds were having their cookout, When, suddenly, Flo, the flock's lookout, Warned: "Ewes run and hide -- The head-shepherd, Clyde, With lessons from Ogg, pulled his crook out!" 79616 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE There was a young shepherd named Jones Who developed an ache in the stones. But he knew what to do, So he screwed an old ewe Till the hillside re-echoed her groans. 79617 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE G1261 In the pasture the sheepherder Ray, Wearing hip boots will work through the day. When a ewe needs a treat, He will stuff her hind feet In his boots so she can't get away. 79618 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Phil Cannibal P9012 It seems that a man named Heep, Sates his lust on a flock of young sheep. He used to screw whores, Till afflicted with sores, He said, "Ewes are clean, and they're cheap!" 79619 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE A shepherd named Jim Fitzhugh, Said to his sweetheart, "It's true. Nothing is moister Than a fresh oyster, Unless, of course, it is ewe. 79620 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Jim Weaver Collection During a visit from old farmer Chad, I saw something making me mad. "What's that guy on the hill Doing with your sheep, Bill?" He said, "It's okay, its my da-a-a-a-ad!" 79621 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Bleek King Wenceslas went to the mountain, You've heard it, near St Agnes' fountain, The peasant there, true, Had many a ewe, And most of 'em Wency was mountin'. 79622 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE I think he should go somewhere warmer; Perhaps an electric transformer, And then a big spark Will leave its grim mark, Like a doodling and old cuniformer. 79623 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE It was quite a fine lookin' ewe That, last night, I attempted to screw. But, three sheets to the wind I couldn't get it in So I kissed her and bid her adieu. 79624 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE I hope you enjoyed, sir, your sleep. Perhaps in your brain, it will seep The thought: with a full Mouth of, not hair, but wool, You must have been shagging a sheep. 79625 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE There was a young shepherd named Lew Who fell much in love with a ewe. He gave her a ring; They married last spring. He says she'll be better in stew. 79626 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Ray Hemphill "This plot," said old Farmer McGraw, "I hold in great reverence and awe. For here on the grass I had my first piece of ass, While her mother stood by and said 'Baa'." 79627 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Albin Chaplin 3024 G1275 Agnes need not face clif or crevasse; She can stand any place, munching grass; With two hands clutching wool, You just give her a pull; Just take care, don't fall back on your ass. 79628 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Allen Wolverton The sheep that I fucked last September, Within me has left a hot ember. Though I look every day I can't find the same lay; Her vagina is hard to remember. 79629 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Albin Chaplin 3024-3010 When blocked, I just goes for a ram With Ewenice, my sheepish Madam. For when I am through With that gorgeous young ewe, It's mutton that's dressed-up as lamb. 79630 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Anon Observer's observing with views From hillsides before he pursues What all real men treasure: That moment of pleasure Derived from the plowing of ewes. 79631 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Peter Wilkins Do it like New Zealanders do, Whenever addressing their ewe. On the edge of a cliff, They'll give her a biff; She'll push back much harder then, too. 79632 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Spru My sheep, Milly's missing, said Sam. She's certainly not with the ram. Perhaps she's with child Or just running wild. Either way, the old girl's on the lamb. 79633 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Anon To the Church, the shepherd was neat Until his prize ewe came in heat. Though aware it was sin, He slid his tongue in, For the taste of her lips was so sweet. 79634 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Jim Weaver Collection Throughout this old world, there's bad news, And folks have political views That can cause great angst. But I get a gangst Of joy from my pacifist ewes. 79635 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis Brasell You all know I find sheep real cute, And jism in many I'll shoot. But now I fear doom For they know who is whom. I await the paternity suit. 79636 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Tiddy Ogg For you, sheep bonking is new; A female should not pick a ewe. Ewe must pick a ram, Into ewe it will slam, While your ewes are wet in the dew. 79637 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Jim Weaver Collection A horny old UN ambassador Took advice from his friend, Commodore. He brought in a ewe, And started to woo, While receiving instructions in semaphore. 79638 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Jim Weaver Collection There was a young laddie from Crewe In love with the family ewe... They slaughtered the lamb, Then cooked her with ham. They found the lad's cream in the stew. 79639 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE OgniGioia The was an old man from Armagh, Whose girlfriend could only say "Baaa." But she loved the ram better, Left the old man a sweater, And eloped off to Leamington Spa. 79640 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Jayne A hasher named Kanga did find He was in Paris with sheep on his mind. So he tried a French ewe, Filling the poor sheep with spew; Her diarrhea making it a wonderous grind. 79641 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Most areas rural have mighty Practitioners of Aphrodite. Techniques are arcane; It needs science and brain To get a sheep into a nightie. 79642 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Tiddy Ogg A genius, a man of renown, Once got a sheep into a gown. Then learned something new: A gown-adorned ewe Will bleat and wake up the whole town. 79643 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis The sheepherder crooned to a ewe, "Dear, out here with so little to do, And no woman to mount, Little ewe, I can count On to ride without spending a sou." 79644 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Grand Prix Lim 581 Barbara, my dick swells in size; I really do think you a prize. I really love ewe And the things that you do, When at me you make those sheep's eyes. 79645 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE A bugger who buggered some sheep, Tried to bugger a ewe while asleep, Who awoke with a start And ripped a great fart. Now he's covered in shit three feet deep. 79646 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Phred The hardon of sheepherder Crewes, Was one that he just couldn't lose. He'd no girls to assault, So perhaps one can't fault His putting his dick to good ewes. 79647 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE My love's gone; she left me today. It seems she could no longer stay. She drove off with Jock, And the rest of the flock, To an abattoir Dorchester way. 79648 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Tiddy Ogg Oh Tiddy, I bet you are gutted, Like right up the ass you've been butted. I hope that Jock louse In that slaughter house Will find himself skinned and de-nutted. 79649 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE SFA Way out in the back-country roots, Fucking sheep and not giving two hoots, There is nothing they've found To compare to the sound Of a ewe, its back-legs in your boots. 79650 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Mike Dale An oversexed young man named Hugh, On the lookout for something to do, Was heard to remark, "If I had an ark, I'd screw a young ewe or two." 79651 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE There once was a shepherd named Sam, Who for hellfire did not give a damn. His religion was deep; He fucked pregnant sheep; And washed in the blood of the lamb. 79652 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE G1158 In New Zealand, it's really no news, To fornicate with buxom ewes. With thirty million perhaps, The problem for chaps Is knowing just which one to choose. 79653 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE CyberCelt T9711 I do now suggest you peruse This newsgroup with all its wild views. You might find a whale, A quail or a snail -- But mainly we're wild with our ewes. 79654 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE H Whelchel A wog with a penchant for sheep Always waits till his flock is asleep. Then straight for the dams, Ignoring the lambs, This wolf in sheik's clothing will creep. 79655 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Arthur Deex P8407 A whore to whom I am endeared Said, "You've licked the ewes, as I've feared!" "You're wrong!" I said, sighing. Said she, "Now you're lying -- There's great gobs of wool in your beard!" 79656 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE Travis Brasell There once was a farmer named Hicks, Who used ewes for unusual tricks, And went on at such length, That he'd sapped all his strength, By the time he had turned ninety-six. 79657 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - EWE John Ciardi A man who would visit the zoos, Was attracted to one of the ewes. But the lamb with the fleece Quickly yelled, "Help! Police!" `t caused a bad case of the blues. 79658 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Jim Weaver Collection "When they poached my pet lamb," sobbed chef Ewing, "They'd no idea what they were doing. Perhaps they were looking To screw up my cooking, Instead they just cooked up my screwing." 79659 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Bob Giandomenico P9412 Although it makes some people mad, Sheep-bonking is not so bad. If it pleases you, You too can do ewe, And the lambs will all call you da-a-a-ad. 79660 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Les Stewart The first time I made love to Cass, Was there, 'neath that tree; then alas Her mom came that way, And what did she say?... Just bleated and nibbled the grass. 79661 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Much later, the farmer, Jim Cole, A truly most generous soul, Suggested I munch A succulent lunch... Our Cass had become casserole. 79662 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB While screwing a lamb, shepherd Sam Was seen, but did not give a damn. He did not run in fright, And he said, "I just might As well hang for a sheep as a lamb." 79663 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Albin Chaplin 3024-1177 In Alaska, to improve his wild lamb, A sheep farmer stole a Dall ram. The Feds came to call, Found the farmer in the Dall, And cuffed him -- he'd been on the lam. 79664 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Actaeon My first time was so sweet, With her mother there at my feet. When asked one day, What her mother did say, I told them she let out a bleat. 79665 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Oddo Von Schlong T9711 A Muslim once lived in Iran, Before he got caught with a lamb. Then he trembled with fear When informed he was queer, For the sheep, it turned out, was a ram. 79666 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Jim Weaver Collection On his knees at the back of a sheep, The shepherd was getting in deep. He said, "Gosh! What a breeze! For I save the stud fees And all of the lambs I can keep." 79667 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB G1320 Searching around for a pet? Dog? Cat? Bird? Which one should you get? If you're male like I am, You might try a lamb; Those sheep give back more than they get! 79668 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Writerman I have to admit, if I'd seen This event, it'd probably have been Instead of orgasm, An intense laughing spasm, Disturbing my senses serene. 79669 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Anon To suck the beast off, then she hasted, And cried "That's the best one I've tasted." But once ain't enough So for more of that stuff, She cooked it, and thus was lambasted. 79670 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Tiddy Ogg` There was a young lad from Siam, Whose sexlife was caught in a jam. He loved them real small, Cause they're more fun to ball, So he went out and bought him a lamb. 79671 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB His kids knew the widower could, But wondered if Abdulla would Kill the last lamb for food To feed his poor brood, Though his sex life'd be over for good. 79672 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Arnie Schoenbrun P0310 There was a sheepherder named Sam Who studied the girls of Miss Pam. When he viewed all her hags He cried, "Who'd buy these bags? I would rather be back with my lamb." 79673 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Albin Chaplin 3024-1178 The farmer's sheep-tender each night Picked a lamb or a ewe sans invite. 'Cause the wool was still virgin, The lambs needed urgin'. This is known as the shepherd's delight. 79674 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Jane D. Hughes P9111 There was a sheepherder named Sam For women he cared not a damn. Though he often would screw With a ram or a ewe, He preferred to be sucked by a lamb. 79675 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Albin Chaplin The New Zealander darkly did glower And said in a tone awful sour: "It's a terrible scam That the price of Prime Lamb Has gone up to twelve-fifty an hour. 79676 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - LAMB Spru The lion shall lie with the lamb; A lion I don't claim I am, But find something woolly And yes, Trav I'm fully Prepared to go give it a ram. 79677 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Passionate creatures do purr and coo, When the opposite gender they woo. And the Ram says it best In his romantic quest, Telling his mate, "I love ewe." 79678 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Guy Ben-Moshe There was a young fellow named Ted Whom Annabel wanted to wed. She asked him one day, But he said, "Go away! I'm engaged to be married to Fred." 79679 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM PeterW "That's vile and disgusting," she said. You can't marry Freddy instead. Your anatomy's wrong, And you both have a dong; So who will do what in your bed?" 79680 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM PeterW Said Ted, "You may think I'm a creep; No longer this secret I'll keep. I tell you no lie, But Fred is no guy. He's a beautiful amorous sheep!" 79681 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM PeterW A shepherd was filled with concern, For his ram with great passion would burn And one day was found stiff At the foot of a cliff From failing to see the ewe turn. 79682 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Bob Giandomenico P9011 I'm sorry, I don't give a damn How big is that cock on that ram. I just cannot do it; Won't fuck it or chew it, Though I much prefer mutton to ham. 79683 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Faerie A shepherd at night missed his wife, And sought out a ewe for his strife. He groped in the dark, And soon found his mark, And the ram was his best friend for life. 79684 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Actaeon There once was a shepherd from Hampshire, Who got in a fix at a lamb shear. For while shearing a lamb, He got humped by a ram. Now the seat of his pants is too damn sheer. (prize winner in Canterbury Limerick Contest) 79685 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Ronnie Klasskin P8512 It's the horns that attract him, you see; They are perfect for gripping while he Thrusts his hard rocket Into the eye socket; When he squirts, he cries out with glee! 79686 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Jule Since I was knee-high-to-a-pup, I've envied the life of a Tup. (Brit for ram) 'Cause give them their due, They'd screw any ewe Without even getting it up. 79687 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM A crippled old captain named Jed Once kept a dead ram near his bed. His crew thought him queer When stuffed up its rear, But Jed was just using the head. 79688 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM H Welchel There was young man from Peru; Found a sheep he was dying to woo. He did and was hailed Into court and then jailed, For the sheep was a ram, not a ewe. 79689 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - RAM Aye, Lassie, 'tis true what you state; Sheep cloning, I must advocate. They never nag us; Where else the haggis? And you'll nae find a cheaper date. 79690 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Les Stewart There's locks on the box of old Jock's Wife, stopping her from getting the pox. Or possibly lambs, For often she rams The cocks of the flocks on the rocks. 79691 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Tiddy Ogg You know that that sweet woolly pelt Is especially dear to the Celt. From Dornoch to Dyfed They're deeply belyved; The sight would make any heart melt. 79692 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS There once was a young Scottish lad, Whom lack of loving made sad. So he did it with sheep Because they were cheap. Quoth he: "Ewes are really not ba-aa-aa-d!" 79693 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Karen B There once was a Scotsman named Willy; 'Neath his kilt he became a bit chilly. So he buried his piece In the warm fluffy fleece Of his favorite sheep he called Lilly. 79694 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Kasodrac Now Lilly just stood there and baa-d, While her body was being haa-d. She though to herself, Who the hell is this elf, Who hold's himself in such high regaa-rd. 79695 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Arden Your speaking of ovine pursuits, And bad-mouthing my Scottish roots, But some Scots do say, To get a good lay, Stick the hind legs inside of the boots. 79696 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Les Stewart Ever wonder why kilts are oft' found, As a Scots' most preferable gown? Why dress up so scant, Wearing skirts 'stead of pants? It's the zippers, sheep run at its sound. 79697 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Green's the sod, and cold's the clay, When I first tupped an ovidae. A shepherd's life Without a wife, Leads many a lonely Scot astray! 79698 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Oddo Von Schlong T9711 Cybercelt's sure in love with his sheep, And a number of them he does keep. "They're the joy of my life," He said to his wife, "And with them, I'll continue to sleep." 79699 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Jim Weaver Collection A Scottish farmer (I swear this is true), Spied a neighbor he thought that he knew. So through the barbed wire, He yells in great ire, "Hey, MacCleod, get off of my ewe!" 79700 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Mick J. moved to Scotland, it's true! Liked sheep, so he bought one or two. The fellow next door Hopped the fence, tried to score. "Hey, McCloud! Get offa my ewe!" 79701 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS He wandered the hills in his skirt; With all of the sheep he did flirt. But he put his pole Into the wrong hole. "Ouch!" said the sheep. "Damn, that hurt!" 79702 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Faerie There was a Scots Highlander who Would shout, "Yoohoo to you, you ewe you! Could you, sweet ewe, Do with a screw? Should you, please do, you know who!" 79703 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS John Chastaine T9711 There was a wee Scot named McHumper; In winter (when life ain't no bumper) He'd go out to the fold, In the wet and the cold, And pull on a nice wooly jumper. 79704 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Dick Slimer T9712 Scotsmen screw sheep? Such surprise! Whoever said that told you lies. 'Cause up at Balmoral, They like their sex oral-- You can't pull the wool over their eyes. 79705 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Shakes Younger Bro T9711 That boy must of been ruttin', If after a hog he was struttin'. A Scot in full dress Could have showed him, I guess, The easiest way to fuck mutton. 79706 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Faerie A Scotsman whose name was McLauren Had a peculiar tilt to his sporran. It seems in his sleep, He was buggering sheep, With objects obscene and quite foreign. 79707 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS T9711 A Scotsman who now lives in Sutton, Loved sheep -- they sure did push his button. He'd take a fine lamb, His cock in would ram, And shag it until it was mutton! 79708 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Rick Limer T9711 In Scotland the sheep are quite blue, Melancholy, and sad, 'cause it's true. The men want to shag us, Then turn us to haggis; What shit in the life of a ewe. 79709 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS CyberCelt T9711 Now Laddie, no more of your lip. You'll pay very dear for that quip. And what is so wrong With using your dong To make an effective sheep dip? 79710 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS SFA Some Scots are known to fuck sheep; A whole flock of ewes they might keep. None of this "Chicken Flu" For a Scotsman will do. It's "Sheep Fever" that makes those men weep. 79711 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Faerie "Why wear a kilt?" asked a young nipper. "Surely pants would be a lot hipper." Said the Scot, all smiles, "It's because, for miles, A sheep can be hearing a zipper." 79712 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Les Stewart McLeod, a Highlander true With the sheep had a technique quite new. This canny wee Mac Threw the sheep on its back, So to kiss her whilst having a screw! 79713 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Cyber Celt T9711 To write limericks 'bout Scotsmen and lambs, Here are a few things you can cram: Clean the sheep out of silt, Then whip up your kilt, And always spray pecker with PAM! 79714 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS John Chastaine T9711 St Kilda of people's devoid; To visit I'd be overjoyed. They left for the main- Land but sheep still remain, All waiting by me to be toyed. (St Kilda, off the coast of Scotland; no people since 1930) 79715 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Tiddy Ogg On Saturday night, up on Mars, Four Scotsmen were screwing in cars, Three lambs and a ewe; Pretty rhythmical too; With always three bleats to the baas. 79716 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Friar TP9802 There once was a Scot in a kilt, Who'd do any sheep that'd stand stilt. A fleece he was shagging, His balls they were dragging, And he was in up to the hilt! 79717 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Jim Weaver Collection A limerick 'bout Scotsmen and sheep? It's a task that isn't too steep. A Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma'am, With a nice highland ram; Just lift the kilt and shove it deep! 79718 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS John Chastaine T9711 Mid tall grassland sowers and reapers, In a land of highlander sheep keepers, How does our friend Sam Find a little lost lamb? "Very satisfying," by jeepers. 79719 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Res Ipsa A shepherd from Cheshire's soft hills Was always looking for thrills, Till a sheep he molested Loudly protested, And sent him the veterinary's bills. 79720 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Anon Those tales of Welsh girls can't be true, There's very few Blodwyns will do A job satisfactual, And make men ejactual; That's why all the Welshmen like ewe. 79721 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Tiddy Mike bought him a cow and a sheep. Said he, "Tell me wife, not a peep. I'll milk me fine cow; Me sheep I'll somehow Find use when me wife's fast asleep." 79722 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - SCOTS Travis Brasell A farm boy, with tastes eclectic, Screwed a ewe at a pace that was hectic. It wasn't for passion, He screwed in this fashion, But the fence that he screwed through, electric. 79723 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES While some folks might find this revolting, Us farm boys enjoy 'lectric jolting; It charges our yens When we're humpin' hens, And helps those ol' gals when they're molting. 79724 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES When I was a tow-headed lad, I peeked at my old gramps and dad, Through slats in a stall, And I can recall The grins on their faces they had. 79725 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell I watched in amazement and shock; They boffed an old ewe from the flock; That ewe hushed her bleating As they kept repeating Those thrusts with their cocks hard as rock. 79726 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell My Gramps, with the eye of a hawk, Caught me in my stupified gawk; He said to me, "Trav, It's time that we have Our first southern gentlemen's talk." 79727 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell "A man," he said, "must do his chores With girls, whether spouses or whores; A man has a duty To every live cutie Who walks on two legs,...or on fours!" 79728 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell From that day to this, my big knob Has faithfully done a good job With everything feminine, Though I prefer women in Lieu, 'cause they all love to scob. 79729 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell So now, you must cease all your lurking. Get busy with what you've been shirking. No more hesitating; The 'girls' are awaiting; It's time, as a man, you start working. 79730 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell You know how to spin a good yarn, But you've spent too much time in the barn, 'Cause you'd rather choose What growls, bleats, or moos, And for women, you don't give a darn. 79731 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Observer This city-boy has a different view, About what a fellow should do With his sexual desire, I'll just quench my fire With a good-looking woman or two. 79732 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Observer And somewhere a mother's heart shudders; She thinks men are boats without rudders. All guys are accursed And you are the worst, 'Cause you have no respect for udders! 79733 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Observer My first time was such a fine treat Right there in my car's backseat. I still remember That night in September, That soft sweet way you did bleat. 79734 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Gearhart It was my first time as I say, But this trick I did learn one day From my dear old dad. He said, "Listen lad -- This keeps them from getting away!" 79735 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Gearhart To the very north-west of wild Wales Came a man trained in financial sales, He'd help men to borrow Or save for tomorrow, As he moved through old Anglesey's dales. 79736 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Of course, in that land full of sheep, He soon found that he couldn't keep From exploring the creases, Of their lovely white fleeces, As all round the valleys he'd creep. 79737 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES And lads, he just cannot be blamed, When a sweet little ewe his heart claimed, He found her so cute, With her legs in his boots; After a wood nymph her he named. 79738 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES I wonder if that was old Robbie, Who now raises sheep as a hobby. He trains each male lamb In hopes that some ram Will bleat "Let us ride, Kimo Sabe." 79739 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES So if you should go down to Wylvia, The locals will certainly fill ya In on the tale, Of this quite errant male... The loan arranger who mounts on his Sylvia. 79740 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins T'was a warm summers eve when I met 'er; My body was longing to pet 'er. We rolled in the grass; She was such a nice lass; All the young lads were longing to get 'er. 79741 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Jim Weaver Collection But I was the first one to vet her, She'd enough wool to knit me a sweater.) I thrust in 'er deep, (She was such a tight sheep.) But I still like my Black Beauty better. 79742 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Jim Weaver Collection I hope you don't think I will weep; I've got an appointment to keep. I'm off for the day For a roll in the hay, With Barbara, my favorite sheep. 79743 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Do you enjoy an after-shag smoke? Does she bleat really loud when you poke? What puzzles me so Is: when down you go, Doesn't the wool make you choke? 79744 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Jule Admitted it's best if you clip Their fleeces before you let rip, But giving a ram To a cute wooly lamb's Tradition...They call it sheep dip. 79745 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy This year I've resolved not to harbor A wooly ewe under my arbor, Unless I can find A skilled, nude, and kind Young woman who'll work as her barber. 79746 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES I started my year with a Ewe Who gave me one hell of a screw. Her pulverised meat Was too tough to eat, So we had to use it for stew. 79747 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES An undercooked stew of boffed mutton, Will run through your colon and butt 'n' Leave in your pants The scent of romance, For which, we all know, you're a glutton! 79748 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Now don't in your lims, go too deep, For New Zealanders screw all their sheep. In Oz, we don't screw 'em, We only will stew 'em Or roast 'em and then go to sleep! 79749 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Archie We really can't believe this of ewe; This truth you ram down on us too! Now be a good ovine, Sweet lambsie divine; Tell wether you're from Zealand New. 79750 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Archie If ever in Wales you are stuck, Find a sheep and then you're in luck! Put its legs down your wellie And belly to belly, You'll have such a wonderful fuck! 79751 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg That shepherdess Little Bo Peep Sold herself ever so cheap. So she was right there With her drawers in the air, When a soldier came by in a jeep. 79752 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia In the afterglow, She said "Please," As she scrambled up from his knees, "Oh dear Corporal Clive, Can I have a drive?" And he handed her over the keys. 79753 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia The engine gave out such a roar, As she put her foot to the floor. She sped through the farm; Caused a great deal of harm To three hens, fourteen ducks, and a boar. 79754 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia A dangerous bend lay ahead, But Bo Peep drove straaight on instead. They hit the farm gate, But I'm glad to relate, That neither one ended up dead. 79755 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia Bo Peep and her Little Boy Blue, Were rescued by the local Fire Crew, From the large stack of hay Where the two lovers lay -- How they'd got there, they hadn't a clue. 79756 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia So little Bo Peep lost her jeep; It ended up all in a heap. And Little Boy Blue Is in deep trouble too; His corporal's stripes he'll not keep. 79757 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia Now this tale you may think is mythical, On a theme so stereotypical. But Clive tells the tale Of his time spent in jail, For miss use of a military vehicle. 79758 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tutta Gioia The pain of love (this ain't no rumor) Is often a hellish consumer Of all that is giddy; For instance, there's Tiddy Distraught 'cause he's stuck in his ewe more! 79759 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell Don't mock us poor perverted wretches, Who for pretty sheep have such leches. To get stuck's a plight Oft met when they're tight. Make sheep, please, of fabric that stretches. 79760 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg Cloned Dolly will let you molest her But you must continue to pester Those cloners for cloth That stretches. Get wroth And tell them you want "dollyester." 79761 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Travis Brasell Ah, innocent lad, let me tell'ee, You go at it belly to belly; Hold the sheep 'gainst a wall, So as she don't fall, And stuff her hind legs in your welly. 79762 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES So throw off that smart city suit; Come join me in rural pursuits. Experience fully A twat warm and woolly; Be sure to remember those boots. 79763 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Among some, there's fear running deep, So much so that they're losing sleep. I'm not one of those, My fear, overseas goes; I'm worried 'bout Tid and his sheep. 79764 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Frank Fazed Don't worry, Dear Frank, about me; I haven't yet caught BSE. And that Foot and Mouth, Didn't get that far south. Of anthrax too, so far I'm free. 79765 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg But face it, we all have to die, And if that's the way I say 'bye, It takes but days seven To send you to heaven, And over me sheep will not cry. 79766 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg In fact, they'll be somewhat relieved; No more Ogg-like lambs to conceive, That turn out randy, Fuck anything handy, Including the cat, I believe. 79767 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg So ladies, if you happen by, And some handsome ram winks his eye, Unless sex you like, Get back on your bike, For to mount you the bugger will try. 79768 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg Poor lambkins were looking forlorn In yon meadow, this bitter-cold morn, Seeming sad and depressed And quite lacking in zest, Like they wished they had never been born. 79769 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins "Dear lambkins," I said, "pretty lass..." (Sympathetically? Bet your sweet ass.) "...I can offer you more Than that meadow so poor; Look, my lawn here has much lusher grass." 79770 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins Sweet lambkin, so fluffy and white, Is now bouncing around in delight On my lawn, unaware That her sweet derriere Will be mine before midnight tonight. 79771 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins "I'm Pam. A sweet baa-lamb I am. I'm a cute little virginal ... " -- WHAM! "It is I, Sam the ram, Up yer clam, little Pam; You're no longer a virginal lamb." 79772 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES You dare to call yourself a ram? I've got some sad news for you, Sam. I, of course, have seen dad, He has thrice what you had. Grow a bit, I'm still cherry, Love, Paaaaam. 79773 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES In Montana, a cowboy named Vince Took a Hollywood actor in tints, For a short horseback ride, And a ewe they espied, With its head firmly wedged in a fence. 79774 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Crazy Legs T9711 In a flash, Vince dismounted his filly, Unzipped his fly, took out his willy, Grabbed the ewe with a hoot, Dropped a hoof in each boot, And proceeded to shag the sheep silly! 79775 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Crazy Legs T9711 When the spectacle came to an end, Old Vince didn't even pretend That this might be unique, He just turned 'round to speak, Saying, "Now it is your turn, my friend!" 79776 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Crazy Legs T9711 So the actor, a little unsteady, Dismounted on legs of spaghetti, Gave Vince a quick glance, Then hiked down his pants, Stuck his head in the fence and said, "Ready!" 79777 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES Crazy Legs T9711 This morning I woke from my sleep After dreaming of Little Bo Peep; As I reached down to play With my ... how can I say It? I think I've been screwing a sheep. 79778 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES It must have crept in overnight For I know that I didn't invite It. I checked (as you do) To make sure 'twas a ewe, Then succumbed to it's woolly delight. 79779 ZOOPHILY - OVIDAE - ZSERIES There was a young girl from Decatur, Who was fucked by an old alligator. No one ever knew, How she relished that screw, For after he fucked her, he ate her. 79780 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA L1664 A brave but quite odd gladiator Fell in love with a young alligator. His friends said, "You fool, Get out of that pool, You're expected to fight her, not mate her." 79781 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Dean Walley P9007 While swimming across the Zambezi, My Charlie did something quite sleazy. He screwed a 'gator, And then he ate 'er. I knew crocodiles were easy. 79782 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Said a crocodile far up the Nile, "While our sex ways are crude as to style, We crocs wish to say We have fun in our way, And it beats human humping a mile!" 79783 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA John T. Coultard 01 P8504 Don't copulate with alligators, Expecially not in elevators. But once in a while, With a mild crocodile, It's a sure cure for wild woman-haters. 79784 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA G1182 A blond paleontologist named Joan Fell in love with a Jurassic-aged bone. Its size was huge, As big as a luge, And astride it, she'd moan and groan. 79785 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Harry Rubin P9309 One night, down in Mexico, Tia Got so borracho on sangria, That she fucked an iguana, And reported manana, He was gentle, but had gonnorrhea! 79786 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Jim Weaver Collection In Miami we've a croc' from Decatur, A genuine reptilian satyr; A girl 'gator he found, Started messing around, Then said, "See you later alligator." 79787 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Ralph T Rehwoldt P2005 Myself, I have private aversions To the pomp that is favored by Persians. For me, little Myrtle, My loggerhead turtle, Will satisfy all my perversions. 79788 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Hugh Clary Young Paula went down to the dock And spread her long legs for a cock; She got a surprise Of incredible size: This Aussie was screwed by a croc! 79789 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA There once was a pervert named Bob, Who just wanted a nice blow job. Found a big snapping turtle, Whose name it was Myrtle; His dick now looks like a corncob. 79790 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Lordzero An oversexed lady name Myrtle Would screw all the time with a turtle. She'd put on a shell, And tease him like hell, And onto her back he would hurdle. 79791 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Actaeon The hare to the tortoise said, "Boo! I can hump and pump faster than you." But the tortoise said, "Yes, M'dear. Nevertheless, I'm a much better bet for a screw." 79792 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Peter Wilkins Here's a question designed to perplex, About turtles about to have sex. Since they can't really flex Their hard outer decks, To get the right hole, which one checks. 79793 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA John Chastaine T9710 Galapagos tortoises screw Incredibly slowly, they do; Take Myrtle and Fred, They've been humping in bed Since the summer of '72. 79794 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Peter Wilkins At one hump a month up her bum, Old Fred is determined to come; But Myrtle the tortoise Is fraught and distraught as Her bum is exceedingly numb. 79795 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Peter Wilkins Some procreation questions which vex Are confusing, confounding, conplex; As how turtles, you see, Can prevent HIV With safe sex betwixt their plated decks. 79796 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA Loren C. Fitzhugh P9604 A dinosaur pair were a wonder When he was on top and she under. Her whale of a tail Knocked down trees like a gale, And his pounding resounded like thunder. 79797 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN G2555 When a dinosaur got an erection, He did it slow, section by section. Gibraltar'd look small Beside either ball, Or Niagara by his ejection. 79798 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN G2556 A dinosaur male found his bride Could not give him the usual ride. For the weight of his freight And her tail were too great, So they fucked lying each on a side. 79799 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN G2557 When a dionsaur entered the quim Of his mate, they had both gone to swim, For their weight on the land Was unliftably grand, Including his masculine limb. 79800 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN G2558 When a dinosaur wanted a male, She must bury a seed without fail, Then be patient, poor dear: It took many a year Till a tree was upbearing her tail. 79801 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN G2559 A paleontologist, Locke, Found a fossilized Jurassic cock. "Is it a Tyrannosaurus? It's long, black and porous-- And Christ! It's still hard as a rock!" 79802 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Chandrama L0383 The Brontosaurus gets no respect; By Velociraptors he's pecked. But they better look out When he starts to spout; He can drown them in come when erect. 79803 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN A young Russian rake named Boris, Fell in love with a stuffed brontosaurus. Each night you could see him In the Moscow Museum Caressing that Stone-age clitoris. 79804 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN G1206 A comely young cave girl named Doris, Was raped by a male brontosaurus. She exclaimed, "For a word, To explain what occurred, I'd have to consult my thesaurus." 79805 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN A paleontologist fool Played a joke that was really quite cruel. In his wife's open hole He stuck, like a pole A stuffed Brontosaurus' tool. 79806 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Fred Cohen P8503 A geologist down in New Mex' Found a fossilized dinosaur's sex. They're short, and all tend To bend near the end, And they're covered with funny brown specks. 79807 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Grand Prix Lim 321 G0415 There was a young man of Saskatchewan, Whose penis was truly gargantuan. It was good for large whores, And for small dinosaurs, And was rough enough to scratch a match upon. 79808 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN L1739 She did not date in Early Cretaceous, Being spiky, cold-blooded, pugnacious. And then how many males Go for vulva with scales And vaginas so clammy and spacious? 79809 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Anon "Ninety years I have played this charade!", Thought the Dino; "It's time to get laid!" But when he made his move, She was quick to reprove: "Not this month, I'm having my decade!" 79810 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN John Miller A paleontologist, Morris, Discovered a weird dinosaurus. From my findings, I'd say This species was gay, The appropriate name's: Megasoreass! 79811 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Carl Ludwig Kjelsen P9505 After talking awhile, switched to sex, Which left us both very perplexed, 'Cause she was still virgin And I stunk like a sturgeon, And we both were as old as T. rex. 79812 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Anon The once-proud pterodactyl Lacked reproductivity skill. They soon were extinct; The cause has been linked To abuse of the pteradactpill. 79813 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN VOL 6 A pterodactyl, transported in time, Found itself charged with a crime. It felt like high heaven Screwing 707's, But they crashed when their intakes got slimed. 79814 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Actaeon Iguanadons now are extinct, 'Cause males much preferred poking sphinc- Ters of the same sex; So too'd old T Rex... Or anyway thats what I thinked. 79815 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Tiddy Ogg This practice, of course, soon gave birth To a haemorrhoid plague on the Earth. Where once there were masses Of bronto-sore-asses, Today you will find there's a dearth. 79816 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Tiddy Ogg A feared dino named Tyranno Rex Was seeking some unnatural sex, And unloaded his passion In a very strange fashion, On a human blonde bimbo named Tex. 79817 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Harry Rubin P9309 His website was all about sex; A girl making love to T. rex. His server said "Goodbye, Your hits are too high. And this our subscribers does vex." 79818 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Roger Morris A stately giraffe, when he necks, Or a hippo, when he's having sex, Aren't worth a tut-tut To the bellowing rut Of the great Tyrannosaurus Rex. 79819 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Isaac Asimov I walked alone by the lock, And spied a large hollyhock. It floated and swayed, As I stood there dismayed; It snuck up under my frock. 79820 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN Ericka Those experts who studied T. Rex Ended up psychological wrecks. And in search of the truth, Had to ask Dr. Ruth, What position Rex used to have sex. 79821 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SAURIAN John E Maywood There was a young girl who would make, Advances to snake after snake. She said, "I'm not vicious, Or that superstitious! I do it for Grandmother's sake." 79822 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Norman Douglas P9209 Another young lady would make, Advances to snake after snake. Though men she had met Got her diaphagm wet, She wanted her glottis to shake. 79823 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L0615 A frustrated spinster named Wanda Became understandably fonder Of real kinky things Like men with cock rings, Or sex with a huge anaconda. 79824 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Armand E Singer 908 A girl who looked like Jane Fonda, Was riding along on her Honda. She crashed! No surprise. They found 'twixt her thighs. The head of her pet anaconda. 79825 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy So ladies, if you sate your passion, In this quite unusual fashion, With creatures reptilian Curled up on your pillion, Take care or your bike you'll be smashin'! 79826 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy A young lady climbed up on a ladder And attempted self-rape with an adder. She gave a wild grasp At the tail of the asp, As its head penetrated her bladder. 79827 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES G1267 Said a lovely young maiden named Lake, Most pervertedly fond of a snake, "If my good friend, the boa, Shoots spermatazoa, What offspring we'll leave in our wake." 79828 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L0614 A German explorer named Schlichter Had a yen for a boa constrictor. When he lifted the tail, Achtung! It was male! The constrictor, not Schlichter, was victor. 79829 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES G1314 There was a young artist named Victor, Who purchased a boa constrictor. He intended to sketch her, But decided (the lecher!) To fuck her instead of depict her. 79830 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L0660 An old maid in the land of Aloha Got wrapped in the coils of a boa; And as the snake squeezed, The old maid, not displeased, Cried "Darling! I love it! Samoa!" 79831 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES There once was a pretty young miss, Who squatted to take a good piss, When a snake in the grass, Flicked his tongue, licked her ass, And emitted a lecherous hiss. 79832 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Bob Birch P0107 A yogi named Parmimahanda, Thought love with a cobra was danda, 'Til the flick of a fang, In the shank of the yang, Left him dead upon the veranda. 79833 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES G1297 There was a young man of Madras, Who was having a boy in the grass. Then a cobra-capello Said, "Hello, young fellow!" And bit a piece out of his ass. 79834 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Norman Douglas L0488 Sue kept a python called Monty, And lent it one day to her auntie, Who said "This constriction Has cause an addiction. My nethers, he makes feel jaunty." 79835 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tutta Gioia If you have been poking the scar Of rattlesnakes, you've gone too far. It must hurt like hell If it bites, but the swell, Cause to percy's that made you a star. 79836 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy Ogg My stardom, achieved through travail Of blood, sweat, and tears on Life's trail, Ain't brought me much luck, But Tiddy, I'd fuck A snake -- if you'd hold the damn tail! 79837 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Travis Brasell So pleased is the boa constrictor; With his forked tongue he twice gets to lick her. But his two-headed member Makes it hard to remember Which one of his hemipenes dicked her. 79838 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Actaeon A noble magician named Jake Was sexually involved with a snake. His organ was eaten And his pride took a beatin' Till revealed, it was merely a fake. 79839 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Jim Weaver Collection There was a young sheik from Kuwait, Who kept a pet krait in a crate. His wife found him handy When all wet and randy, And Abdul could not get it straight. 79840 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tutta Gioia A torrid young doll from Samoa Has barrels of fun with a boa... She claims, "Men are fakes; Any day I'll take snakes. For they don't excrete spermatozoa!" 79841 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Grand Prix Lim 731 She said I like my sex ophidian; The wiggles! They just make me giddy 'n When I climax, For more I ring Max -- A numidian hard as obsidian. 79842 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tutta Gioia There was a young lady named Knox, Who kept a pet snake in her box. It was trained not to hiss, When she sat down to piss, But would bite the head off of cocks. (nibble the noggins) 79843 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L1458 Now I know it was all a mistake Laying Kay yesterday on the lake... For we weren't nearly through When we tipped the canoe, And she came...with a big water snake! 79844 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Grand Prix Lim 684 Minnehaha was washing her clothes, Unexpectant of sorrows or woes. A snake, a sidewinder, Crawled in her behinder, Wiggled 'round and came out her nose. 79845 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L0587 There once was a merchant from France, Who kept a life snake in his pants. He'd get English whores To feel in his drawers, And all three would then madly dance. 79846 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES H Whelchel There once was a gay young Parisian, Who came to an awful decision. For his sexual joys He'd have women and boys, And snakes too, and no supervision! 79847 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L1507 The snake charmer had a fair daughter; He claimed that no man had caught her. I swore she'd be mine, His daughtwer so fine, And a fine fucking lesson he taught her. 79848 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Anon It was rumored that she was half snake, But I thought this a lie or mistake. Had she rattle or fangs? Would she hiss when we banged? In plain anticipation I ached. 79849 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES 'Twas deep in the wild wood I saw her, The snake charmer's daughter named Flora. She spat and she hissed To make me desist, When first I attempted to paw her. 79850 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Her eyes were snake-like and yellow; The looks that she gave me wern't mellow. Her pupils were slits; She had scales on her tits, And she spat when I simply said "Hello." 79851 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Flora looked lissom and young, As her bosom towards me she swung. With hands on her hips, She parted her lips, And I saw that she had a forked tongue. 79852 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES I said, "Oh my God! Fucking Hell!" When I saw she'd a tail, as well. But I turned this half-serpent Into my sexual servant, And I'd have a fine tale to tell. 79853 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES There was no doubt that I was sore smitten, And when I got to where Flora was sitting, There was no need of telling, 'Cause she'd seen the swelling, And the ways that my trews were tight-fitting. 79854 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Her tongue flickered close to my waist, As she sampled my masculine taste. She gave a coy glance So I dropped my pants, And from now on, this tale gets debased. 79855 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES I watched as her tail writhed and coiled, Glistening, just like it was oiled. Would I win her or tricker -- This lady constrictor, Or would my sex urges be foiled. 79856 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Determined to achieve my endeavor, I chose to be cautious and clever. My humor and charms Would win her to my arms; A case of 'when' rather than 'whether'. 79857 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Said I to the snake-maiden Flora, "My serpentine sweeet, I implore ya'. I've a snake of my own; To ten inches he's grown. If you pet him, I'm sure he'll adore ya'. 79858 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Said Flora, the pythonesque miss, With a barely perceptable hiss, "Snakes have forked pricks, Not single straight wicks. I won't screw but I'll give it a kiss. 79859 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Flora stood and I heard her tail rattle, As she knelt to commence sexual battle. Like a cobra, dick reared. Flora's forked-tongue face neared; She sucked and my brain grew quite addled. 79860 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES I felt her scales close to my skin And wondered if this was a sin. Then I saw her tail-tip, As it played with her clit, Flora sighed and the tail slipped in. 79861 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES The whole process didn't take long, And I soon knew that something was wrong. I cried out in pain -- Punctured, poisoned, insane, From Flora's fangs deep in my dong. 79862 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Flora rose to her feet with a hiss; Said, "Did I tell you I bite when I kiss? It won't take too long To work up from your dong. I lose all my lovers like this." 79863 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES "You see, I'm in love with my tail; It's far better than any male. It's prehensile and thick, So I don't need your prick. I can climax alone without fail." 79864 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES I felt the blood rush to my head, Or maybe it's venom instead. And so I left Flora, My pricked prick grew sorer, And I know in a day, I'll be dead. 79865 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Now I don't need a maiden to fuck; I just need a stroke of good luck. If I can't get good head, I fear I'll be dead, From not finding a woman who'll suck. 79866 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES To a doctor to cure my vexation, I proceeded with no hesitation. The words that he said -- Well they filled me with dread. "The only cure is amputation!" 79867 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES It was deep in the forest I saw her, The snake catcher's daughter named Laura. She spat and she hissed To make me desist, When first I attempted to paw her. 79868 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy Ogg She looked so lissom and young, As her head toward me she swung. With her hands on her hips, As she parted her lips, I saw that she had a forked tongue. 79869 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy Ogg There was no doubt that I'd been smitten, As I went over to see where she's sittin'. There was no need to telling 'Cause she'd seen the swelling, And 'round my dick her lips were fittin'. 79870 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy Ogg The whole process didn't take long; I soon knew that something was wrong. I cried out in pain, Thought that I'd gone insane, As her fangs were sunk deep in my dong. 79871 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Tiddy Ogg There once was a priestess of Set Whom a shaman pursued on a bet. Though she turned into a snake, He won the stake, But it's something he'd rather forget. 79872 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES G0754 Adam stared in complete disbelief As Eve put a snake up her reef. "You're human, by God! Using snakes is so odd!" Said Eve, "I've turned over a new leaf." 79873 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Actaeon There once was a girl from Samoa, Who did naughty things with a boa Crammed in her butt. They would both get in rut As she wriggled her ass 'cross the floa. 79874 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES Robert Cuzzort There was a young person of Wyper, Who fell madly in love with a viper. With screams of delight, He'd retire each night, With the viper concealed in his diaper. 79875 ZOOPHILY - REPTILIA - SNAKES L1667 Once, bathing nude in a river, Young Jen was attacked by a beaver. And it used to be told That the beaver was bold. Jen's parents continue to grieve 'er. 79876 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA A curious mammal's the beaver; So unhygienic I had to leave her. 'Cause when I gave it a kiss, It tasted of piss, So I chopped off my tongue with a cleaver! 79877 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Old trappers were oft heard to say The beaver was not a bad lay. For the bugger ain't easy For the timid or queasy, For the tail always gets in the way. 79878 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Jim Weaver Collection The Canadian beaver female Is a prospect before which I pale; But her mate I suppose, Through his spectacles rose, Sees only a cute piece of tail. 79879 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Hugh Oliver 118b The female Canadian beaver Displays an unlikely spring fever When she cuts down a spruce And converts it to use As a sort of vibrator-cum-lever. 79880 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Hugh Oliver 118a A wealthy young madam called Rouse Ran an extremely tolerant house. For ten bob a show, You could let yourself go, And bugger a little pet mouse. 79881 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Anon A lazy old rat, for a stunt, Built a nest in a prostitute's cunt. The cat, with much laughter, Came tumbling in after, And got himself lost in the hunt. 79882 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA G1332 Mrs Gopher repined with a whine, "Picking YOU for a mate was just fine. For a gutsy young gopher, YOU'RE a bum and a loafer... You dig holes but you never dig mine!" 79883 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Grand Prix Lim 11 I know you'll think I'm a louse, But lately I've found it just grouse To use a new trick And pleasure my dick, By carelessly fucking a mouse. 79884 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA You hold them in gloves made of velcro, Inserting yourself fairly slow. They stretch and they squeak; Their ribs give a creak -- That's when they will burst, don't you know. 79885 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA It works like a treat with most mice; They come when I've done it just thrice. I couldn't care less 'Bout all of the mess -- The cat licks it up in a trice. 79886 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA You're better off buggering mice; Their bum is as tight as a vice. And don't ever worry About saying sorry; They never come back for it twice. 79887 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Please tell me, just how do you get Your dick into a wee mouse slit? Must be needle thin, To get that thing in, And guess it's a really tight fit. 79888 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA There was a young man from Argento Who performed an experiment-o; He was labeled perverted When -- gerbil inserted -- He was caught in flagrante rodento! 79889 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Cried a guinea pig, cursing his fate, "If Nature had just made ME great, I'd use man to experiment And breed him to weariment, To see what odd things HE'D create." 79890 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Grand Prix Lim 665 An innocent chap named McBean, In sex ways is terribly green. With a choice between girls And all else, he picks squirrels, Which in parks makes for quite a rare scene! 79891 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA G1273 Bill's pet mouse chewed a hole in his pocket, And his pecker went off like a rocket. Though you laugh at the site, He laughed with delight! Until you have tried it, don't knock it. 79892 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Limericks Naughty & Gay I've never tried fucking a bear; It simply does not seem quite fair. So my latest vice Is buggering mice, And the cat will clean up what's left there. 79893 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Archie And I shudder to think of the mice You've deflowered without asking twice! Even my cat Turns his nose up at that -- It's hardly a civilized vice! 79894 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Mickey Mouse heard a horse whinny, And up the stud's cock he did shinny. The tiny horse sighed, As the mouse opened wide; For this mouse was quite used to Minnie. 79895 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Jim Weaver Collection Said the famous composer, R. Strauss, When asked why he buggered a mouse, "Though its cunt is quite tiny, On occasion its heiny Will stretch quite as big as a house." 79896 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA L0651 There was an old spinster named Rice Who was frightened of little grey mice, Till one crept up her cunt, And she cried with a grunt, "Oh God! What a thrill beyond price!" 79897 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA .G1332 Dear Teacher, Tidd won't be at school. With rodents he's playing the fool. The kid ought to check, er, Where he puts his pecker: A mousetrap's attached to his tool. 79898 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA A porcupine, when she's in heat, Will grasp any stick she may meet. She'll straddle the twig, While attempting to frig; When you're horny, it's really a treat. 79899 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Actaeon To the pig it was just so unkind... His wife left him in such a bind... With a rodent all prickly, And quills covered thickly, She ran off leaving Porky to pine. 79900 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA TuttaGioia The HORRENT hairs of porcupine Are very more useful than mine; They ward off fierce foes, Like armored clothes, And block out UV from sunshine. 79901 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Chris Papa A porcupine spied sexing FOLKS, And said, "Humans are sure Nature's jokes. If you're lacking in quills, Sex can't give you the thrills That a porcupine gets poking pokes!" 79902 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Grand Prix Lim 887 An oversexed porcupine lush Tried to woo a long-handled hairbrush. She nibbled its dong All day, all night long; Now her mouth is encrusted with thrush. 79903 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Nancy Henry-Kline P9307 Porcupine sex needs a seasoner To make the encounter more pleasoner. Of his nibbling he's fond And if she responds, He stands on his hind legs and peasoner. 79904 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Actaeon A horny old trapper named Rex, Liked the risks of wild porcupine sex. But incredible luck, His dick never got stuck, But his balls were just pitiful wrecks. 79905 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA L1555 Sheep are great but better yet still, A porcupine is the ultimate thrill. Once you have tried Such a prickly ride, You will possess real skill with the quill. 79906 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA John Henry A lecherous pervert named Pat Attempted to fuck his pet rat. He wrapped it in tape So it couldn't escape, But it split 'cause his cock was too fat. 79907 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Anon Said an old taxidermist in Burrell, As he skillfully mounted a squirrel, "The excess of tail is Obstructive to phallus; One's much better off with a girl." 79908 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA L0583 The young girl who screwed a banana Lived somewhere out on the savannah, And had just a squirrel To pleasure and drill Her, lacking a good sized Havana! 79909 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA There once was a fairy name Cyril, Who was had in the woods by a squirrel. And he liked it so good, That he stayed in the wood Just as long as the squirrel was virile. 79910 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA L0590 There once was a student named Lynn, Whose prick was the size of a pin. It was no good for girls But just great for squirrels, Who squealed with delight with it in. 79911 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA There was an odd fellow named Gropper Who was famed as a maidenhead popper. When he couldn't get girls, He was known to chase squirrels-- A whimsy some felt was improper. 79912 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Grand Prix Lim 788 G1248 A steaming young stallion named Gentry Confessed while effecting an entry, "Where once I jabbed squirrels, Now I jab only girls, Squirrels being so damned elementary..." 79913 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Grand Prix Lim 30 There once was a man that I knew, Who tried to teach squirrels to screw. His bruises and cuts And cracked open nuts, May prove a good lesson to you! 79914 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA Phil T A beaver has mighty long teeth; Plus, Gawd knows what else, underneath; She'll nibble your woody, Like choice tooty fruity; The shavings will hang like a wreath! 79915 ZOOPHILY - RODENTIA While repairing his automobile, A zoologist couldn't conceal Unmistakable panic When a mechanic Suggested that he'd blown a seal. 79916 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Don Moore P9203 A dune buggy fan at the wheel, Lost control of his automobile. He crashed into the sea, Woke up and got free, And found he had blown a few seals. 79917 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Actaeon An Eskimo up in Inuvik Was richly endowed and to pruvik, He harpooned a seal Which so loved the feel, That nothing on earth will remoovik. 79918 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Hugh Oliver 112d A lady lay on the beach With her jar of K-Y within reach. She lubed up a seal And came with a squeal, When he put his ramrod up her breech. 79919 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Actaeon A young Eskimo lad from Siberia Saw his love-life grow drearier and drearier; For his passion was split Betwixt polar bear tit And a certain male walrus' posterior. 79920 ZOOPHILY - SEALS O. Parrish O'Mann P8410 A round-bottomed babe from Mobile Longed for years to be screwed by a seal. But out at the zoo, They just said, "No can do." Though the seal is all hot for the deal. 79921 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Grand Prix Lim 347 G1285 A walrus shaft hides a bone "oosik" Which stiffens his rod to make music. With a flipper he pointed At some sheep he'd anointed: "Just the sight of it made that poor ewe sick." 79922 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Jim Weaver Collection I've caught me a nice baby seal; The cute furry thing's my next meal. Before she is cooked, She's going to be fooked. It sure makes the little one squeal! 79923 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Kim and Sam A lecherous damsel named Kelly Loved the feel of a seal on her belly. She sighed, "It's celestial, Though horribly bestial, And when coming in heat, are they smelly!" 79924 ZOOPHILY - SEALS G1263 A horny old maid named Lucille Took up with a runaway seal. She love to give head To her pet pinniped, While tickling his ass with an eel. 79925 ZOOPHILY - SEALS OgniGioia A man on the beach after dusk Was consumed with aquatical lust. A walrus emerged With a similar urge, And the two took each other to tusk. 79926 ZOOPHILY - SEALS Actaeon There was an old sow in the barn Had twenty three piglets, by darn. "I curse that old boar," She said with a roar, "Oh, when will ever I larn!" 79927 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes An old desert rat called Burdew, Came to town one day for a screw. He threw down a quarter And drawled out, "That orter Cover a quick poke or two." 79928 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales The madam looked very askance At the grime on his shirt and his pants, His scruffy grey beard, The eyes that went weird, And the odor that wasn't from France. 79929 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales "Old Fellow", she said with a grin, "For a quarter, I'll let you right in, To a room that's just ripe For a man of your type, And a gal that's ideal for your sin." 79930 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales The prospector's eyes went aglow, As the fires began burning below. His hands started shaking, And his knees were a-quaking. It was plain he was raring to go. 79931 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales So they led him out back of the place, To a shed with just enough space, For the fattest pink sow, He'd seen anyhow, With a sort of sweet smile on her face. 79932 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales Burdew shoved everyone aside, Slammed the door and was quickly astride His porky delight, Where he spent the whole night, In a passionate piggyback ride! 79933 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales At daybreak, Burdew poked his head Out of the tumbled-down shed, With a satisfied sigh, He said, "Miss Piggy and I Will be having our breakfast in bed." 79934 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Nick Scales There was an Old Person of Cheadle Who was put in the stocks by the Beadle, For consorting with pigs Wearing makeup and wigs, In positions both astride and foetal. 79935 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Edwardian Leer 085 A pig in a poke got to thinking That his sausage would do better linking His groin to a sow, So he boinked one and pow -- Five piglets popped out. They were stinking! 79936 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE There was a young man of Nantucket, Took a pig in a thicket to fuck it. Said the pig, "Oh, I'm queer, Get away from my rear. Come around to my front and I'll suck it." 79937 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE L0623 A sodomite pervert, Lord Horning (His cronies are all in deep mourning) Attempted to score Cornholing a boar -- An action that quick died aborning. 79938 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Armanad Singer P0010 The Earl of Sandwich one day got high And screwed his prize pig in her sty. From this shameful coitus Came a very strange foetus -- A gigantic ham sandwich on rye! 79939 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Michael Weinstein P8308 'Tis one happy habit of mine To frolic with fat, fertile swine; But, lo, my derangement Has caused an estrangement Between me and all of my kine. 79940 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Travis Brasell My morals, agreed, are quite loose. However, I shant with a moose. Nore even a gander Endeavor to pander, For risk of not getting a goose. 79941 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Travis Brasell There was a pig farmer named Gary; When his sow's were in heat, wouldn't tarry. Charlotte sure did protest When he fondled her breast, And refused his proposal to marry. 79942 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection A randy pig farmer name Frye, Liked to get off his rocks in the sty. Though polite in the main, He was heard to complain, "The sows won't look me in the eye!" 79943 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Joe Long Oinked the boar, "This I know will concern ya, But since I've developed a hernia, I'm so dad-blamed sore I can no longer bore, So I'm forced at this moment to spurn ya." 79944 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes There once was a fellow named Fogg, Who attempted to bugger a hog. While engaged in his frolics, The hog ate his bollocks, And now he's a eunuch, by God. 79945 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE L0602 While out on the farm, Mr. Jay Saw a lad fucking pigs in the hay. Said Jay, "Why you brat! Tell me who taught you that? Stand back and I'll show you the way." 79946 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1151 My old hog, she sure ain't no chicken, And so, when I go put my dick in Her twat, she don't feel A thing, yet she'll squeal, Which adds to the joy of pig stickin'. 79947 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE When performing with human pig fuckers, Most pigs demand cash when they puckers. They don't take a chance, They get paid in advance; Pig fucking's killed plenty of suckers. 79948 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE G1301 My tool had a terrible ache on; A Sow I decided to take on. I was passing her sty When she gave me the eye, And said: "Hey big boy, let's make some bacon!" 79949 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE That sow Dick was trying to sell us, His wife hates the sight of, they tell us. For he diddles this pig With a stick or strong twig, Till the smile on its face makes her jealous! 79950 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE G1317 There once was a farm boy, achin'; No girls were there for the takin'. Save for a pig That he really did dig; Now our dear boy's making bacon. 79951 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Les Stewart A warped taxidermist from Stoke Was stuffing a pig in a poke. Said the porkee, "Hey Fred! I'm quite far from dead. Is this your idea of a joke?" 79952 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Bill Wall There was a young man from Muskegan, Who got an erection -- a big 'un! It would not deflate And he was irate; The only slit 'round was a pig one! 79953 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Marlene Little Willie, while porking a pig, Found his weenie a little too big. It developed a list, A lopsided twist, Which it bears to this day as his sig. 79954 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection There was a young man of Newminster Court Buggered a pig, but his prick was too short. Said the hog, "It's not nice, But pray take my advice, Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught." (Published in 1897) 79955 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE L0626 A strange case has unfolded near Worcester Involving a sow and a rooster. This spring they have mated, And the farmer has stated "This is something I'll never get used to." 79956 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE W. W. Lotz A hog rancher just east of Macon With a particular sow was quite taken. He spared her from dinner And put his meat in her And that cute little pig cooked his bacon. 79957 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Actaeon Young Gary plays mighty fine gigs, And whops out some foot-stomping jigs. He'd be sharper than cactus If only he'd practice, But he spends too much time fucking pigs. 79958 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Cyber Celt T9710 I'm sick of the shagging of ewes, A subject that gives me the blues. All that wool 'round the twat, I don't find it too hot. I'd rather a pig on my cooze. 79959 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Cyberhog T9711 I must say I've never had cow But drunk once, I did enjoy sow. That squealing and gripping Of pig pussy dripping... The tightest I've found up till now! 79960 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Tutta Never again shall I hunt For pussy or nookie or cunt. I don't need no cat, 'Cause better than that Is the pig I bought as a runt. 79961 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE There's a question designed to perplex, About what to use for your sex. I don't want a sheep, For they're ugly and cheap; In a pig, my dick I'd rather flex! 79962 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection I wrote of the shagging of sheep, And said it was all yours to keep, For I'd rather have pork At the end of my dork, Each night before I go to sleep. 79963 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Cyberhog T9711 I find quite malicious this dig You've made of my grand, manly rig, The which I keep clean By porking the lean, Pure puss of my prize-winning pig. 79964 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE A lady from Palma, Majorca, Each day took a pig for a walk. A Few minutes would pass Then she'd lay on the grass, And encourage the porker to pork 'er. 79965 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE There once was a fag from Des Moines Whose nephews would finger his groin. He said to his sis, "There ain't nothing amiss. Not like Dad in the barn, porkin' loin!" 79966 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Jim Weaver Collection Now girl, what's the matter with you? Turn down mutton and last week a gnu. You'd prefer a man To a razorback ham, With a prick that is truly corkscrew? 79967 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE John Miller A farmer from Northern N.Y. Decided he'd like to scr. p. So he picked out a sow Who got pregnant somehow. I hear they soon will v. the st... 79968 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Hugh Clary A boar has a corkscrew, so now If you use your straight tool on a sow, The pig will be pissed By your lack of a twist -- Better resurrect Bessie the cow. 79969 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE John Miller Said a farm boy, suppressing a giggle, "I shore like the way them sheep wiggle. And when there's no ewe Who'll give me a screw, I figger, that somewhere a pig'll." 79970 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Norm Storer While forming my coming year's vows, I decided to stop fucking cows. To stand on a stool Is playing the fool And it's easier buggering sows. 79971 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE G1342 The teeth of a pig can be vicious, And if the sow's feeling malicious, Best keep your pudenda Away from that end o' The beast or your wick'll have fissures. 79972 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE There was an old person of Sark, Who buggered a pig in the dark. The swine, in surprise, Murmured, "God blast you eyes, Do you take me for Boulton* or Park*?" (* - Famous homosexual trial of 1870) 79973 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE L0642 There was an old fellow named Pine Who traded his wife for a swine. He remarked with a giggle That he got far more wriggle, And even the dead ones were fine. 79974 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE Albin Chaplin 3024-1171 I'm learnin' from daddy the boar 'Bout leavin' the sweetest sows sore. This makin' of bacon Involves lotsa shakin' -- And then you just walk out the door. 79975 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE An obnoxious old prick from Prague, Had a wife who resembled a hog. He exploited her grunting By taking her hunting For truffles she found in the fog! 79976 ZOOPHILY - SUIDAE F. D. Zone There was a young man named St. Clair, Who tried to make love to a bear. But the nasty old brute, Took a swipe at his root, Leaving nothing but testes and hair. 79977 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE L0599 There was a young girl named Miss Randall, Who kept a young bear cub to dandle. She said, "In a pinch This bear cub's six inch Is almost as good as a candle." 79978 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE L0634 An Afghan who strayed by its lair, Got screwed in the ass by a bear. But up by the Khyber, They're men of such fiber, That the bear was far worse for the wear! 79979 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Vassar W. Smith P9307 A zoo friend and I were desirous Of a tame circus bear named Osiris. We snuck in at leisure And gave her such pleasure, She begged for her owners to hire us. 79980 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Actaeon There was a young lady of Claire, Who was madly pursued by a bear; When she found she was tired, She abruptly expired. But that horny old bear didn't care. 79981 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Edwardian Leer 008 P9306 Don't ever try screwin' a bruin, For while it may love what it's doin', It shoves with such force, Just like a stud horse, You're left with your cleft in a ruin! 79982 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE G1183 Said a bear to a boy at the zoo, "My dinner is long overdue. If the keepers don't hurry, My lad, that's your worry; I might make a dinner of you. 79983 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Joseph S Newman There was a young girl of Eau Claire, Who once was attacked by a bear. While chased in a field, She tripped and revealed Some meat to the bear that was rare. 79984 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE L0598 A hot grizzly sow found a hunter, And asked him to eat out her cunter. Surprised, he refused And so was abused. His features are now somewhat blunter. 79985 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Actaeon There was a young fellow named Sayers Who only made love to the bears. He put in his time waiting Till they were hibernating, And he'd get them asleep in their lairs. 79986 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Albin Chaplin A messy old maid named Miranda Corrupted a meek giant panda, Who rogered her bum Till it toppled off numb, Every evening upon her veranda. 79987 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE G1284 There once was a zoo fan, an editor, Who essayed to make love to a predator. She lay on a chair And was laid by a bear. She had style, for that I will credit her. 79988 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Actaeon A polar bear lay on his back, And was giving himself quite a whack. This drew a large crowd, And a fan said aloud, "I bet he'd be good in the sack!" 79989 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Actaeon An old sodomite hunter named Baer Tracked a very large beast to its lair, And proceded to do it (Yes of course, I mean screw it): Now he looks like a slice of Gruyere. 79990 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Armand E Singer 923 I'm often quite horny and drunk, And that beast, he sure was a hunk. Horny in the woods, He gave me the goods, That bear boffed me right in my trunk! 79991 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Fizzia There was an old person of Ware, Who had an affair with bear. He explained, "I don't mind, For it's gentle and kind, But I wish it had slightly less hair." 79992 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE There was a young fellow from Tajik, Whose love life was terribly tragic, 'Til he met a she-bear, Who at him did tear, And his dick just unfolded like magic. 79993 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE I mated a girl with a bear, 'Cause I wanted to know if she'd dare. She said it was nice, But she'd not do it twice. I just hope the bear doesn't care. 79994 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE AA I once wandered into the trees In search of a girl who would please, But the best I could do Was a bear with the flu; Well, at least I avoided disease. 79995 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Norm Storer P0011 But bears are impractical lovers! You can't get them under the covers. And I've not the length, Endurance, or strength To satisfy one of the buggers. 79996 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE There once was a man from Bel Air, Who wanted to romance a bear. He pulled down his pants To begin the romance. He now has one ball and some hair. 79997 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Marc Monroe Miss Haverford on her veranda, Often stood with the utmost candor There many an hour. When things went sour, She'd quietly do it with her panda. 79998 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE The Ghost Who Writes How many times must I tell you? Get your sorry ass out of my igloo! Your bestial way With a polar bear stray Is more than I'll ever get into. 79999 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Raceway As the snow falls softly on down, It's so still that you can't hear a sound, Except for the thumping Of Pooh Bears humping, Deep in their dens underground. 80000 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE MrMalo There once was a man who would fuck Any thing from a sheep to a duck. And without a care, He jumped on a bear! Talk about pressing your luck! 80001 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Archie In this, there's a lesson to learn 'Bout controlling the passions that burn. The bear turned around, Threw his ass to the ground, And said, "Buddy, now it's my turn!" 80002 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Archie A maiden, so slender and fair, Was attacked by a big grizzly bear. And then dragged to his den And assaulted again -- Which gave the poor girl quite a scare. 80003 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Anon A man met a cute female bruin; In minutes, the two began wooin'. In the dark, the male bear Failed to notice him there, And soon the man's loins lay in ruin. 80004 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Actaeon I wonder if any out there Ever tried to make love with a bear. Big, hairy, and vicious, But most say delicious, For you see, they don't really care. 80005 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Archie Making love to a Bruin Turned out to be my ruin. While I was fucking, The bear wasn't sucking, Instead on my head he was chewin'. 80006 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Puff Adder I once got it on with a griz; I tell you it's none of your biz. But one word to heed: To them you're just feed. They'll want more than a teaspoon of jizz. 80007 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE H WHELCHEL One night a girl had an affair With a fellow all covered with hair. His enormous red whang Gave her a wonderful bang-- She'd been diddled by Smokey the Bear. 80008 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE G1179 A girl camper once had an affair With a fellow all covered with hair. When she gave him his hat, She realized that She'd been had by Smokey the Bear. 80009 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Donald Dimock There once was a hairy old grizzly Who harried the she-bears quite busily. He spent hours each day Hunting lay after lay-- And afterward, staggered home dizzily. 80010 ZOOPHILY - URSIDAE Norm Storer There was an old man in a hat Who was asked if he'd marry a bat. "An unusual idea," He remarked, "but I fear I shall certainly never do that." 80011 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Bat sex is often high-strung; He first eats her out with his tongue. While they cling to a shelf, His rod thrusts by itself-- A male bat is always well-hung. 80012 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Actaeon I once heard a story like that, A mammologist with a bat. His loins were on fire; He tried a vampire. His dick is now bloodless and flat. 80013 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Annie Jay I wonder, did some early force Predestine my bestial course? As a child was I found At a merry-go-round, Riding under the carousel horse? 80014 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Lassie's Lover TP9901 What's with this obsession, bovine? It's not been a desire of mine; Nor mules, dogs, or ewes, Would I ever choose Over women -- I must draw the line. 80015 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Observer Those animals I'd never pick, But, every man to his own kick. They just ain't my speed; Although I'll concede: At times I'm impressed by a chick! 80016 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Observer So how could a cow be appealing, And arouse an amorous feeling. And though I'll refrain, Could someone explain Those love secrets they've been concealing? 80017 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Observer Though she surely won't bless you with babies, A heifer can pose a few maybes. With a flapping fruit bat, You can avoid all of that -- What a helluva way to get rabies! 80018 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER John Miller 0311 Now bats for a change (so you say) Are better than heifers. OK? You give them a go, But I think you should know, That FRUIT bats are probably gay. 80019 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER PeterW Oh please tell me this isn't so! Homosexual's not my way to go. When I screw a horse, It's a filly of course: Not a thing's wrong with this guy, you know! 80020 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER John Miller Listen boys, and don't forget; Animals are only to PET! You feel bad, no doubt, But I can't figure out, Do you need a doc, or a vet? 80021 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Kaylin Hedgehogs are really quite quilly; If one is gay, this is not silly. One hopes he's on top When he's ready to pop, Or he'll puncture the other guy's willie. 80022 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Anon A hedgehog has pricks of its own; When mating, the male ones all groan. Those sharp pointy bits Makes sex just the pits, So often they mate on the phone. 80023 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Archie A small furry mole from Madras is Quite happy in mountainous passes, While digging around With his nose underground Eating treacle and fondling mole-asses. 80024 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Peter Wilkins There was a young lady, Miss Ohswill, Who once sat herself down on a mole's hill. The resident mole, Stuck his head up her hole, The lady's in bliss, but the mole's ill. 80025 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER L0662 There was a young man from Woods Hole, Who had an affair with a mole. Though a bit of a nancy, He did like to fancy Himself in the dominant role. 80026 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Anon L0663 There was an old lecher named Sholes Who longed to deflower young moles. Although he aspired, He was always too tired, After digging them out of their holes. 80027 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Jim Weaver Collection The tiniest animal, the shrew, Is known for the three-second screw. He'll repeat it at will, On any mole hill, And his head is all that turns blue. 80028 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER G1321 A rich yuppie girl in a Beemer Made love one fine day to a lemur. She came to adore His four on the floor, And his stick shift proceeded to ream her. 80029 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Actaeon This dame was addicted to game, And not to those pets who are tame. So she was quite mild Unless it was wild, And then how she'd act, was a shame. 80030 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Archie Farmer George, when he wanted a screw, Stepped out naked; his pecker on view. It attracted the sows, Turkeys, ducks, hens and cows, With an oink, gobble, quack, squawk and moo. 80031 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER The noise woke his wife Peggy May Who said, "Dobbin? I want us to play. If old George gets it out Why should I do without... Ohmygod, you're enormous today!" 80032 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER There once was a young man called Potter, Whose girlfriend resembled an otter. About three feet long, Smooth brown fur, fairly stong: No one quite liked to ask where he'd got her. 80033 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Michael Palin There was a young skunk name of Bart, Who had frequent affairs of the heart; Alas, he went blind, And what did he find? He'd fallen in love with a fart. 80034 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Ed Potts P8511 There was a sad singer named Mick Whose penis was but a mere stick. But then he proceeded To find what he needed: A skunk who required a small prick. 80035 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER G1280 There once was a gal from Montrose, And a trip to the jungle she chose. If asked why to go, She answered: The rhino -- I'll sit on his long pointy nose. 80036 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Retze Faber Not pretty's this tale about Gosse (I'll separate truth from the dross); As not everyone knew, He was found and the zoo, With his dick up a rhinoceros. 80037 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Armand E Singer 886 "We refuse", said two men from Australia, "Bestiality this saturnalia, For now, we bethink us, The ornithorhynchus Is our down-under type of mammalia." 80038 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Isaac Asimov A scientist paired a male bradypus By mistake with a randy he-platypus. Said the sloth, "I find siring Is really too tiring. I would have liked to try had he had a puss." 80039 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER John Eggerton P0104 Hey Lightbulb, go out on the veldt, And emulate many a Celt. Go find the rear end Of a four-legged friend, And plunge percy deep in the pelt. 80040 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Tiddy Ogg A horny near-sighted white rhino Jumped a female, evidently albino. But a hippo she was, And she started to cuss, Till she decided his dick was divino. 80041 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Jim Weaver Collection Hermione Gingold's big brother Kept a cage with a something or other. It became rather tame So he gave it a name And it somehow wound up as a mother. 80042 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Don Moore P0112 If Belize were a statue of Venus, Just waiting for someone obscenus To polish her bust, I'd give her a dust And beget an ethereal genus! 80043 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER At the zoo an old keeper named Phelps, From the lioness seized her two whelps. Then he buggered the pair And he said, "I declare They are good, but I can't stand the yelps." 80044 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Albin Chaplin 3024-1169 His twin brother, a keeper named Mel Shoved his prick in a skunk and said, "Hell, It is better than scroon An old yak or racoon, But you have to get used to the smell." 80045 ZOOPHILY - ZOTHER Albin Chaplin 3024-1170 There once was a man from Schenectady About whom it was said, "How the heck did he, Fuck skunks and bullfrogs, Bats, lizards, and dogs, All with the same verve and alacrity?" 80046 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection Erica had a big brown beaver; With it she was a great achiever. She's done snakes and dogs, Koala bears, hogs, And even a golden retriever. 80047 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection I wanted somthing new for my pleasure, So I bought a wee sheep for my leisure; A donkey, a cow, Some hens and a sow; Then a ten-dollar whore for good measure! 80048 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL CyberCelt T9710 Said the Aggie, "At school I was taught That book learning would all come to naught Unless learned by doing. So I was pursuing Animal Husbandry -- till I got caught. 80049 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Arthur Deex P9009 A zookeeper out in Decatur, Was said by his wife to betray her. While he worked he would fuck, First a snake, then a duck, And a deer, and a bear, and a 'gator. 80050 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL There's no cleaner dick, you can bet, Than mine, and I'm free from regret, For spending my wealth To keep up the health Of me and my stock -- ask the vet! 80051 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Travis Brasell On tiring of females that cluck; I've moved on to turkey and duck, Then humped the caboose Of a tender young goose, While teaching a calf how to suck. 80052 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL The cow I'll be leaving alone; The bishop and sheep I'll postpone. Though I do get a rise If I fantasize 'Bout the holes in the dyke. (stifled groan) 80053 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Anon A fellow who lived in Dakar Loved his pets, but he took it too far. It was said, with restraint, That his actions were quaint, But in fact, they were truly bizarre! 80054 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Robert Elliot Confessed an old bachelor named Boggs, "My heart palpitates for big dogs, And my amorous forces Do include docile horses, But no way that I'd do it with hogs." 80055 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Armand E Singer P0305 Down here on the ranch, nothing's strange. In fact, our perversion's wide range Covers sex with wild cats, Buffalo, and fruit bats, And, of course, these old dogs with the mange. 80056 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL There's a dream that I think I will share, That involves both a cow and a bear, Which I had in a way, That I really can't say, But the cow's great, the bear was just fair. 80057 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Bob Birch P0107 A stalwart young fellow named Galion, Was given the Pervert's Medallion. For he buggered a cow As he stood on a sow, While he sucked off a Percheron stallion. 80058 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Albin Chaplin 3024 G1242 We know you keep sowing wild oats, In fields and on farms and in boats, With ladies and cows And occasional sows, But now you're addicted to goats? 80059 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Archie I know sex with critters is wrong, But for action I yearn and long. So out in the fields, Amongst tall wheat yields, I'm desperate to service my dong. 80060 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL That lecherous sodomite Don Chased animals hither and yon; He favored young dingos But even flamingos, If pink enough, turned the guy on. 80061 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Armand E Singer 758 Animal lovers, Unite! If you're screwing a creature tonight, Please join our crusade And before you get laid, Make sure you are doing it right! 80062 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL John Miller Tonight I'll be screwing a sheep; It's cheaper than payng Bo-peep, And further I find That a ewe doesn't mind If I have a post-coital sleep. 80063 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Peter Wilkins I'm glad to see Peter has blurted This out: That he's now been converted To warm wooly twats, In pastoral plots. His pleasure won't now be averted. 80064 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Tiddy Ogg There was a young girl of Milan Who never had fucked with a man. But she fucked in a bog With a St. Bernard dog, A pig, and an orangutan. 80065 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Albin Chaplin 3024 G1281 A messy young biddy named Bessy Said, "Sure, I'm aware that I'm messy... When I'm through with the dogs, I go sleep with the hogs... Why the hell should I try to be dressy. 80066 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Grand Prix Lim 632 An eminent lady named Galions Was screwed by a bull and two stallions, Then a St. Bernard dog And a fine Polish hog, And a host of assorted rapscallions. 80067 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Albin Chaplin 3024-1141 A stern wrathful God spoke to Kevin, "You'll never get into my Heaven, You've done it with shoats, With dogs, sheep, and goats -- I've totaled some 127." 80068 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Armand E Singer 475 A duck I just never would rape, And I would never fuck an ape. But a hampster I've done; I must say it's fun As long as it's wrapped in duct tape. 80069 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Bleek There was a young man with the itch, Who, because he was not at all rich, Had to harbor his tail In any female, A duck, or a sow, or a bitch. 80070 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL L0609 Young Reggie needs six fucks a day; Just look what he's rogered today: Two ducks and a cow, A sheep and a sow, And a mare that he took in mid-neigh. 80071 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Archie There was a young man of Australia, Who went on a wild bacchanalia. He buggered a frog, Two mice and a dog, And a bishop in fullest regalia. 80072 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL L0575 For bestiality cat-houses shine. There are more than just cats in their line. A sheep or a cow Or a loving young sow Or with care, a nice sweet porcupine. 80073 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Theo Heller P9205 No gorilla would risk human spawn; Tales of women and bulls make me yawn; But some ladies of note Have made do with a goat, And Leda was had by a swan. 80074 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection Very horny was Percival Ballew, He was frantic for something to screw. Well he found him a sow, Two goats and a cow, And a salesman from Kalamazoo. 80075 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Menger P9206 I've always been 'Travis' who'll plow With ewes or a sow or a cow, Or women who're sleazy With boobs nice and squeezy; So, call me, m'dear, 'Jack-Me-Now!' 80076 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Travis Brasell Jack the Lad? No offence was intended. Forgive me? I'm down on knees bended. To show I'm sincere I'll keep pouring beer, Until the offence is all mended. 80077 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Michelle And if you still smart from the slight, I'll come 'round to yours tonight, With oils of sweet clover, A massage all over, And some wine to ensure you sleep tight! 80078 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Michelle A tourist relaxing in Ghana, Spread her legs wide in a sauna. 'Twas custom, she'd learned To be pleasured in turn By all sorts of exotic fauna. 80079 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Actaeon A boy from old Albuquerque Had a past decidedly murky-- Allegations of rape With a ferret, owl, and ape, And unspeakable things with a turkey! 80080 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Percy Longprong There was a young lady of Ulva, Who said, "I have granted a culver, One fox, and a vole, Two mice and a mole, A refuge from Man in my vulva. (culver - dove, rock pigeon) 80081 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL T Griffiths You fellows, so under-endowed, Can stick your wee pricks in a crowd Of small furry creatures, But I follow Nietsche's Creed: Supermen make Bessie cowed. 80082 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL In the forests of wild Guatemire Lived a girl who was always on fire. She would screw the day through With the gnat and the gnu, But the cobra did nost satisfy her. 80083 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL G1250 At the zoo, a young fellow named Heeper Asked the price of a screw, from the keeper. Said the keeper, "A gnu is ten bucks a screw. The rhino and camel are cheaper. 80084 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Albin Chaplin 3024 G1252 A beastophile by name of Raul Did nasty things with his tool; Shoved it down the throat Of a neighborhood goat, And then in the ass of a mule. 80085 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection If a goat, sheep, or cow you are wooin', Her male may object to your screwin'. A riled billy may wham ya -- A randy ram ram ya -- Or a horny bull be your undoin'. 80086 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Edwina Leer Excitement is rising and how! I'm off to St Kilda right now; But if all them goats Are chock full of Ogg's oats, Then I hope there are heifers to plow. 80087 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL There once was a man called Piot, Whose sexual habits were a riot. From horses to hen, To mice and to men, If it had a hole, he would try it. 80088 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Reggie Young Jack has a pet habit, which is The cause of his always-damp britches. He masturbates gaily A dozen times daily, And screws hens and heifers and bitches. 80089 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL G1344 Andrew was a young Limey fuck, Who'd erect at the sound of a duck. He made it with hens, The occasional wren; And once even did with a duck. 80090 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection Those pictures with horses are phoney; Most girls can make do with a pony. Dogs stick to their task, What more could you ask? And a cat makes you smart, no baloney. 80091 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection There once was a woman named Cassey, Who had an incredible chassis. She exhausted a hog, Screwed the ears off a dog, And named her first child after Lassie. 80092 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Bob Birch P0011 Another young lad from Toulouse Is often found hiding in zoos; He creeps into cages And there he assuages His lust with both llamas and gnus. 80093 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL A Percheron mare came in season And was horny beyond rhyme or reason. She buggered a dog, Three men and a hog, Plus a llama, a bull, and a Friesan. 80094 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection There once was a fellow named Ben Who was aroused by livestock in a pen. Though he knew 'twas forbidden, He was parasite ridden From trying it now and again. 80095 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Wlumma A zoo not afraid to be outed Climbed up on a rooftop and shouted: "I'm a zoo and I'm proud, And I'll say it out loud!" When he learned no one'd heard, though, he pouted. 80096 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection A young taxidermist from Ada, Whose wife said he'd often betrayed her, Was sued for divorce For mounting a horse, A moose and a goose and a 'gator 80097 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL G1178 An elderly pervert from Nice, Who was long past attracting a piece, Would jackoff his hogs, His cows and his dogs, Till his parrot called in the police. 80098 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL L0627 Up sabres! Salute Don Quixote! His instincts were raunchy and goaty. He screwed llamas and camels, And other small mammals. And a rattlesnake once, on peyote. 80099 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL G1226 A harlot who came from St. Paul Was raped by six men in the hall. Then sucked off by a dog, And a prize-winning hog, But she stayed and she outfucked them all. 80100 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Albin Chaplin 3024-1176 My cousin, a hick from Kentucky, Is stupid, but man is he lucky. The pigs and the sheep And the chickens he keeps, He eats except when he feels fucky!. 80101 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Wildman T9801 They say being zoo is insane-o. To that I reply, "What do they know? Can their lovers neigh, Or roll in the hay, Or come like an active volcano?" 80102 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Jim Weaver Collection Young Sal, on a trip to the zoo Was laid low by a crazed kangaroo. Then she got a sore throat From sucking a goat, So she's feeling a little horse too. 80103 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Tiddy Ogg The beautiful Mistress LePew Stayed overnight at the zoo; She fellated the hares, Had sex with the bears, And plugged up her ass with a shrew. 80104 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Mike Tice That amorous zoo keeper, Keach, Will screw anything within reach, Like Manx cats and beagles Or seagull and eagles, Plus owls of the type that don't screech. 80105 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Armand E Singer 606 There was a young lady named Pratt Who caught in her attic a bat. This she kept in the loo With a tomcat and gnu, So all four shared the hole where she shat. 80106 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL G1303 Not hetero, homo, nor bi; There's far greater pleasures that vie To make my pulse quicken, Like sheep and young chicken That struggle and thrash as they die. 80107 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL There was a young fellow named Ades, Whose favorite fruit was young maids. But sheep, boys, and whores, And the knot holes in doors, Were by no means exempt from his raids. 80108 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL I wonder who's kissing her now? Don't tell me! I might have a cow! With sheep and warm goats, I'll sow my wild oats; While her lounge-lizard shags the old sow! 80109 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL That's the trouble with boys from the city; They just think of cunt, ass, and titty. But stickin one's dick in Sheep, horses, or chicken Or cows is the real nitty-gritty. 80110 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Peter W It's summer, and most folks are doing Their usual peeping or screwing, Sheep, llama or deer. Come fall they'll be here, And more rancid rhymes will be brewing. 80111 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL And don't forget buggering mice We do three or four in a trice. It stops us from thinking About limerinking, And infests us all with the lice. 80112 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL A liberal lady from Blakes Has a passion for sinuous snakes, But will offer her tail To a worm or a whale, Or to anything else that it takes. 80113 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Hugh Oliver A118B Pity poor Molly McGrew, She claimed she knew not what to do. After being had in due course By three dogs and a horse; I'd visit the vet, wouldn't you? 80114 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Pat McGregor I can make your choice increase! See... Don't limit yourself to your species. Try chickens or dogs, Or clit lickin' frogs, Or that sweet bovine slut name of Bessy. 80115 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL There was a Young Girl of Majorca, Who Aunt was a former street walker; She walked seventy miles, And leaped fifteen stiles, And did tricks with two dogs and a porker. 80116 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Edwardian Leer 004 Two foxes decided to mate While watching an ape masturbate. When the spent dog bent 'roun', The ape hunkered down; The three had a nice tete-a-tete. 80117 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Actaeon An ugly old warthog came cryin', "Now I've been raped by a lion." I said, "What a sin! Did he get all the way in?" "Not yet, but we are still tryin'!" 80118 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Actaeon A chappie from old Cullercoats Would screw weasels and hedgehogs and stoats. This predisposition For furry coition Led to anal insertion in goats! 80119 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL Moonman T9801 I'm going to create my own zoo; For fellows who like something new. Who're fed up with women But have peckers brimmin', And longing for something to screw. 80120 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Tiddy So come lads, if you're wanting to Find something exotic to screw; Though Bessie's engaged, We've sheep and goats caged, And for athletes, a bush kangaroo! 80121 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Tiddy Now just leave the churning of Bess To me who is used to the mess. It's not just the butter (I sit here and mutter); There's parts that I love to caress. 80122 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Archie Then who was it buggered poor Dobbin? Some pervert there pokin' and bobbin'? He never said neigh; Just munched on his hay. Poor Bessie just stood there a-sobbin'. 80123 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Marlene Lewis I guess it was Christopher Robin Who buggered poor innocent Dobbin, When Alice said nay To a roll in the hay, And Eeyore said no to a knobbin'. 80124 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins A big manly man I am now; No longer a cub-scout, I vow. 'Twas Akela who taught Me the masculine sport And I practised on Bessie the cow. 80125 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES And then it was on to Bo Peep (After trying my hand at her sheep). She guided me in To her quivering quim; I assure you she didn't fall asleep. 80126 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES So Kitten, my bonny wee maid; Come out from that foresty glade. Leave the scouts to their singing Of ganging and ginging Their goolies and come and get laid. 80127 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES One evening a pervert called Daniels Was frantically searching sex-manuals; And what did he seek? A sure-fire technique For buggering fractious young spaniels. 80128 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Yes, he was perverted, and how! Chasing some little poor bow-wow. But I know one or two, Who like to hear "Moo"; They line up for Bessie the cow!!! 80129 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES My own predilection's for sheep; A woolly twat's fine and will keep You warm, but our Bess Is still around, yes. She's in constant use by our Pete. 80130 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Perverted? These pleasures bucolic, We tell in these lims epistolic. This form of coition's A hallowed tradition, Amongst we who rurally frolic. 80131 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Dr. Ruth took a trip to the zoo, To conduct a strange interview-- She even asked rabbits Their sexual habits, And broke up a really fine screw. 80132 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A bull, with his bellowing calls, And butting the fences and walls, Said, "Cows, don't be nervous, I'm here to give service, Can't you see by the swing of my balls?" 80133 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A jackass was munching on hay. He snorted, and let out a bray: "Huge dicks may be fine, But with one big as mine, It's hard to find a good lay." 80134 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A rooster came prancing in view, And said, "Those who beat me are few; I've laid all the hens, And guineas and wrens, And for kicks, a hummingbird, too!" 80135 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 Remarked a small-voiced giraffe, "You think we're just good for a laugh, But while you are checking, We're better at necking, Than any ten guys on your staff!" 80136 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 An ostrich, while preening his plume, On hearing this, started to fume. "You may be a necker, But I've a strong pecker, And can outrun you, too--gimme room!" 80137 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 From Sidney, the male kangaroo: "Since you've brought up the subject of woo, I've leaped to conclusions And sometimes contusions, But the gals that I missed are quite few!" 80138 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 An anteater stopped slurping ants, Straightened up, took a hitch in his pants. "You may be well hung, But with my super tongue, I'm ensured of eternal romance!" 80139 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A turtle protruded his head, Adjusted his pince nez, and said, "I broke my poor cock On a good-lloking rock; Without glases, I'm staying in bed." 80140 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A fish swished its tail and he sighed, "You know nothing of being denied! She lays her own eggs, I can't spread her legs, And we both end up broiled or fried." 80141 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 The octopus opened his beak, And bubbling a bit, did he speak: "When I wrap all my arms Around Genevieve's charms, All she does is giggle and shriek!" 80142 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A snake slithered up with a rattle: "I know naught of horses or cattle, But when I entwine Her slim body with mine, They can hear us both hiss in Seattle." 80143 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A worm spoke up then: "Oh, I know, Though we seem handicapped, even so, When we do oral sex, It's not so complex -- We call it the Marvelous O." 80144 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A tomcat stretched lazily out, "You don't know what loving's about! To get Pussy, by heck, I chomp down on her neck, Let her whine, let her yowl, let her pout!" 80145 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 Ole Hound Dog could stand it no more, Decided to reveal his score: "With a wee bit of luck I may not get stuck, But, wow, if I do, I get sore." 80146 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 Now comes a ridiculous duck, His head under wing did he tuck. "Because of my name, I'm living in shame, So you'll not get a rhyme for this line. 80147 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 The big boar said, "Speaking of dorks, There is something unique to us porks: Ours has a twist, And please, I insist, It might work for pulling out corks." 80148 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 To this group came a couple of skunks, Who were wearing striped bathing trunks: "Do you think if we went And got rid of our scent, We might get some gals in our bunks?" 80149 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 Said the mink to the shrink, with a wink, "We are not as bad as you think. If we're not just jumping, Then we're humping and pumping, For with sex, we live on the brink!" 80150 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 Dr. Ruth said, "My, Woody, you're quiet, But surely you now and then try it?" "My pecker got strained On trees too hard-grained; Guess I need more nuts in my diet." 80151 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 A microbe squeaked next: "Our delight Is to breed multitudes overnight. It was nature's decision; We increase by division. So that's why we get you: for spite!" 80152 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 Dr. Ruth spread her notes out and read, Of all that the animals said. "Vot you know?" she decided, "Dis got me excited," And took her vibrator to bed. 80153 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Bill Edwards P9101 That Mary she was such a whore; With sheep, billy goats and a boar. She fucked the whole farm But came to no harm, In fact she still cried out for more. 80154 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Tiddy Ogg Mary got bored with the grind Of farming so she went to find Fun on the hill With Jack and Jill, But found a big bear right behind. 80155 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Karen The bear ate the lamb in one bite. Still hungry and Mary in sight, He licked his bear lips, Then nibbled her nips, And beared her behind with delight. 80156 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Karen "My husband," said Jane, "screwed the mare; I married a pervert, I swear! Because he has thrusted That horse I'm disgusted, And ready to pull out my hare!" 80157 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES But Jane, dear. Such strong condemnation! When you've used the family Alsatian, And next door's jack russell, To give you a tussle. You're hooked on that canine fellation. 80158 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Jane barked, "Don't preach me a damn sermon, Since you screw mares, pigs, sheep, snakes, vermin, And every stray beast But I know, at least, When I'm tongued by shepherds -- they're german!" 80159 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES The shepherd I suck is a German; His name in translation is Herman. With big furry ears, He doesn't drink beers, And barks whenever he's curmmin' 80160 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Don't know, but that may be too rude, For bestiality is, per se, crude. But throw in to boot The under-age root, And I'm liable to find myself sued. 80161 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES That's right lad, you need have no fear, There's plenty of that around here, Like Betty, thirteen, The pig fucking queen, Who also takes goats in the rear. 80162 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Young Florence presented her rump To a pony who started to hump Her some two weeks ago, But insatiable Flo Merely wore out its knob to a stump. 80163 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Irish Next up her, last Sunday at dusk, Was a fucking great elephant tusk; The poor pachyderm pumped 'Til he finally slumped; A mere shadow; exhausted; a husk. 80164 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Irish And now I am next in the queue, But I know what I'm going to do... I shall use as my pecker My new Black and Decker Pneumatic jackhammer to screw. 80165 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Irish "Next patient", the doc said, and laughed As young Joe sidled in feeling daft With his trousers a-flapping Revealing a yapping Chihuahua impaled on his shaft. 80166 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins "Oh please don't tell mom; she'll go mad." "Why of course not, young Joe; don't look sad. It's quite normal and soon When you're older (next June) You'll grow out this puppy love, lad." 80167 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES Peter Wilkins By then lad, I'm sure you'll progress, To things much more normal, I guess. This puppy love's half What you'll soon get from calf Love, when boffing the daughter of Bess. 80168 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES If eating a duck gets you down In the mouth, you can wipe out that frown With a taste of wild beaver Or send your retriever To pick up some pussy in town. 80169 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES John Miller 0335a In season there's always young lamb. (Out of season you'll get in a jam: Like under-aged quail, It can land you in jail; Better leave it alone, as I am.) 80170 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES John Miller 0335b Nearly no man I know ever knocks The joys of a tender young fox. A slender young vixen More tricky than Nixon, Can blow you right out of your socks. 80171 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES John Miller 0335c If you like, you might get in a deer, To enjoy in your home without fear. Which, however, ages In unpleasant stages: Endure then your game without cheer. 80172 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES John Miller 0335d You can always make do with a pig, If you're not too much of a prig, And think them "unclean" And other things mean, Till your sense of disgust gets too big. 80173 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES John Miller 0335e Or turning away for the hog, There is always the plain homely dog. Though no feast for the eyes, It's enough for the wise When fortified with enough grog. 80174 ZOOPHILY - ZSEVERAL - ZSERIES John Miller 0335f