05/28/2004 A national hero named Milt Did never have feelings of guilt. He assembled police And went looking for peace, With troops armed to the teeth and the hilt. 68308 WARFARE Albin Chaplin Returning from rapine and pillage, Barbarians need food from the village. They will eat all the cows And several sows, And destroy most all of the tillage! 68309 WARFARE A World War can't do much now, can it? Blow up the whole fucking planet! Its better I says, Get rid of all gays, And boyracers and sluts and Pete Blanet. 68310 WARFARE A cynical fellow named Reese Had hoped all war action would cease. He did wholly deplore The great glories of war; He favored the horrors of peace. 68311 WARFARE Albin Chaplin We once fought with clubs and with stones, We hand-fought with grunts and with groans. Now with high-tech's assistance We fight at long distance -- More civilized, everyone owns. 68312 WARFARE Lauarence Perrine P8406 The State did remark quite sincerely That thousands of soldiers died yearly. But after consultation, We must take consolation In the fact that the foe has paid dearly. 68313 WARFARE Albin Chaplin It's good, people worship their gods; So uplifting for generals and clods. When they pray as they oughter, 'Fore joining the slaughter Of others with whom they're at odds. 68314 WARFARE John Miller 0358 A Trojan horse like that at Troy May keep them at bay while we toy With plans for salvation All over the nation. This god is one thing is a ploy. 68315 WARFARE H Whelchel So much destruction, I see Has been done, thanks to God and country. With every new war On some foreign shore, Makes me cry, "Please let things be!" 68316 WARFARE Arden Let us sing of the Masters of War And the blood thirst that they all live for. It doesn't take skill To go for the kill, But God! how they love all the gore. 68317 WARFARE Neal Wilgus P8406 "Make Love, Not War;" the sign read of Flo, So I said to her, "Honey, lets go To bed and let's screw." And damn, the bitch threw The sign at me, striking a blow! 68318 WARFARE Travis Brasell A pious young girl named Laetitia Joined up with the right wing militia. They believe God is Love Who made heaven above, But now dabbles in armed demolitia. 68319 WARFARE Nick D Kim There once was a scheming old plotter Who loved to see wars that were hotter. He hastened the demise Of a great nation wise, And sent millions of men to the slaughter. 68320 WARFARE Albin Chaplin I have had it with all of this poop; So I'm taking over this group. My plot has congealed; All the exits are sealed; Of d'etats this is know as a coup. Pardon my French 68321 WARFARE MrMalo It seems I hold the trump card, And don't bother calling the guard. I've slipped them Viagra; It's a gushing Niagara, From the barracks out into the yard. Pardon my drench 68322 WARFARE MrMalo In the east, the sky is lightening; The speed of my takeover, frightening. I've seized total power In less than an hour. Hold on! My meter needs tightening. Pardon my wrench 68323 WARFARE MrMalo There will be no more of this crap, Of posting how Malo's a sap. Furthermore, it's decreed For the sake of my need... Hold on! There's a girl on my lap! Pardon my wench 68324 WARFARE MrMalo Where was I? Oh yes, new restrictions; There will be no more maledictions, Anti-male elocution Brings a quick execution. There's no way to appeal my convictions. Pardon my bench 68325 WARFARE MrMalo So everyone schprecken zie Heil! Das Fuhrer commands you to smile! Go ahead, make rhyme und Remember, you schveinhund, Ve haff all your names on file! Pardon my mensch 68326 WARFARE MrMalo In our arrogance we have learned little; So some day I'll bet that the shit'll Once again hit the fan -- No, it won't be Japan; Some one ELSE whom we like to belittle. 68327 WARFARE Jim Weaver Collection The best thing about humankind Is how they can reason with mind. At times they go far And rise above war, But usually they're brutally blind. 68328 WARFARE Armed conflict would be obsolete If leaders would end their deceit. They should offer, so merry, Not the hatchet to bury, But should offer to bury the meat. 68329 WARFARE Albin Chaplin 3024-2214 It's said that Cease Fire means release Of tension, and hostile acts cease. But it's not, we deplore, A cessation of war, So it must mean cessation of peace. 68330 WARFARE Albin Chaplin 3024-2765 The pentagon is full of fools; Cross dressing and orgies in pools. And we work and we slave, And sometimes misbehave, But mostly we just make lots of rules. 68331 WARFARE Sissy The benefits really are swell! We can give all the average folks hell. Mr. Liddy's on call, And for the thrill of it all, He'll kill you and your family as well. 68332 WARFARE Sissy So we've heard from the liberal view, Thinking laws will make peace come true. They seem to forget, Or haven't learned yet, Only those who obey will be screwed! 68333 WARFARE Warmongers are all nasty mothers, Be they left wing or right wing or others. You have to be blind To believe that mankind Is improved by the slaughter of brothers. 68334 WARFARE Let those in glass towers not shatter The things that for others do matter. Please let us have peace And natural grief And forget all the warfaring chatter. 68335 WARFARE Narni We're here on the net, all conversing In language globally coursing Like blood through our veins. How strangely insane When the war situation is worsening 68336 WARFARE Narni A man had a great driving yen To fight from Saigon to Darien. There was no one who doubted That the enemy was routed, And we lost only ten million men. 68337 WARFARE Albin Chaplin You may think it's a wise endeavor To end war, but it's not so clever. 'Cause without all the war That's gone on before, There'd be more goddamn assholes than ever! 68338 WARFARE MrMalo Our national aim I deplore -- A future most bleak is in store, Since more funds we release For maintaining the peace, Than we ever spent fighting the war. 68339 WARFARE Albin Chaplin 3024-2960 It looks like we've won, at first glance, But think before starting to dance: Unless I am wrong, It took ten times as long As Hitler to overrun France. 68340 WARFARE The U.N. is really a sham, For men's rights, it's not worth a damn. It wanted to see a Big war in Korea, And could not stop the war in Vietnam. 68341 WARFARE Albin Chaplin The boy said that he wouldn't mind one -- A ground war. He wishes he'd find one That's fairly close by, For what he'd like to try, Is to learn how they manage to grind one. 68342 WARFARE A. N. Wilkins P9103 Said President Jobcock one day: "War's better than love, I should say. Instead of a virgin, It's murder I'm urgin', You get lots more blood that-a-way." 68343 WARFARE G1538 When they beat the swords into plowshares, They caught army brass unawares, And left them enraged. Now the troops are engaged In learning to fight with plowshares. 68344 WARFARE - ARMY Attic Salt P9901 On Memorial Day, an old Vet Tried his uniform on for a bet. As he strained to look thin, He said, "Sucking it in, Helps remember my army corps set!" 68345 WARFARE - ARMY Prof M-G Cash dwindles for ammo and guns, And RIF's have only just begun. Enlisting today, You might find that they Really mean it -- You're an army of one. 68346 WARFARE - ARMY Dr Limerick "With Lake Woebegone's cure for malaise", Thinks the Army, "morale we can raise. Won't our military All above average be If we issue them all black berets?" 68347 WARFARE - ARMY Peter Wilkins In the progress of civilization, Of wars between nation and nation, Our weapons, refined, By the mind of mankind Wreak targeted broad devastation. 68348 WARFARE - ARMY Laurence Perrine P9308 Said the Brass, "What a man did before Determined his place in the war. Thus a butcher, you'll find, Is always assigned A place in the Medical Corps." 68349 WARFARE - ARMY A. N. Wilkins P8901 Oh the sight entrancing When morning's beam is glancing Over files arrayed With helm and blade And plumes in the gay wind dancing. 68350 WARFARE - ARMY Thomas Moore When hearts are all high beating And the trumpet's voice repeating That song whose breath May lead to death But never to retreating. 68351 WARFARE - ARMY Thomas Moore To the ages this song does belong, But army cooks say one word's wrong. In the artillery Their new lyric would be: "As those capons go rolling along." 68352 WARFARE - ARMY Loren C Fitzhugh An army corp's mission, of course, is To make skillful use of its forces, Its guns, and its horses, And all its resources To make other corps into corpses. (corse - archaic, dead body, corpse) 68353 WARFARE - ARMY Laurence Perrine P8406 Some boys with the taste and discernment To dodge the draft with a deferment, Grew up to be hawks, With bloodthirsty talk, Once safe from the Army's procurement. 68354 WARFARE - ARMY Dr Limerick 09-05-02 "Samaritan goodness, alas," Said Father McFarland at mass, "Demands we be kind, So next time you find The wounded, put them on your ass." 68355 WARFARE - ARMY Travis Brasell 'Tis folly in face of defeat To take, VAWARD, the front seat. It's abundantly clear: Advantage of rear Is being the first in retreat. 68356 WARFARE - ARMY Chris Papa We're sending our Green Beret teams To Georgia, because our brass deems (Russia) Their troops must be trained And our doctrines explained, And not for a fight, as it seems. 68357 WARFARE - ARMY Dr Limerick 02-27-02 I suspect that the mission's a sham; Soon our guys will get into a jam, And then while we sleep The weed, mission creep, Will take over, just like in Vietnam. 68358 WARFARE - ARMY Dr Limerick 02-27-02 Service people grace places afar, And in some there's not even a bar. Since the Saudis, I'm thinking, Object strongly to drinking, Our troops there fight a prolonged gulp war. 68359 WARFARE - ARMY Loren Fitzhugh P0208 Give a cheer for our boys at the front, Whether GI, or Dogface, or Grunt; And another loud cheer For our men in the rear; And you guys in between 'em, well, punt! 68360 WARFARE - ARMY Robin K. Willoughby P8406 To an American military professional, Top honor is the Medal Congressional. In the war against slavery, None went for Southern bravery, For their cause was considered secessional. 68361 WARFARE - ARMY Thomas G. Keller P9501 The Pentagon set to announce "We no longer do body counts; We just estimate And manipulate The numbers for maximum bounce." 68362 WARFARE - ARMY Dr Limerick 03-14-02 Although they are not very bright, In the headbone indeed not quite right, How could any jerks Accept army perks Without thinking they might have to fight? 68363 WARFARE - ARMY A. N. Wilkins P9102 Private MacDonald was built Like a howitzer under his kilt. He was used in the war As a substitute for A bazooka because of the tilt... 68364 WARFARE - ARMY Peter Wilkins ...Which he varied from zero degrees Up to ninety with consumate ease; Not just vertically true, Horizontally too, When he swiveled around on his knees. 68365 WARFARE - ARMY Peter Wilkins All honour and glory accrues To the regiment of the Vingt-Deux. Said a girl with delight, "I don't know about fight, But the whole twenty-two of them screws." 68366 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Hugh Oliver 43a A young soldier, who I'll call Lorne, Regretted the day he was born. He'd been to the barber, A grudge he did harbour; His hair was not cut, it was shorn. 68367 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Arthur Pattaffy When a certain group of GI's Who thought themselves rather wise, Let out of the bag A startled old hag, They took a long look of surprise. 68368 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Baxter Sperry P0111 There once was a soldier named Frank, I don't know his unit or rank, But he played with his "gun," Because it was fun, And that's why they called him a Yank. 68369 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Bob Birch P0206 A man recently out of the forces, Decided to sit for some courses. He had degrees in a few, Many others he knew, But he liked putting carts before horses! 68370 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Arthur Pattaffy An ingenious Sergeant Cooper, For a soldier did something super. Had him cloned, two for one, So that when he was done, He'd invented a pair o' trooper. 68371 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED There was an objector at Chirk Who was charged with an impulse to shirk; But he answered, "All action I love to distraction, But I loathe and abominate work." 68372 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Anon Punch 1918 (Bibby) Although a young draftee named King In the army learned many a thing, About men who'd gone wrong With wine, women, and song, He was too cultured even to sing. 68373 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P8901 Few boasted as much as did Joe About what he'd do to the foe, We had simply no doubts That he'd slaughter the Krauts Till the guy shot himself in the toe. 68374 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P8901 To the Draft Board young Buddy Mahew Raised quite an uncomfortable stew, And in definite terms Exclaimed "Listen, you worms, I refuse to be classed as '4Q'!" 68375 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Grand Prix Lim 452 Ten cadets and a dog from Moldavia Took a train to Berlin through Moravia. All but the dog Were ejected at Prague For lewd and licentious behavia. 68376 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED David Smith P9604 Although I am aged 79, In the army I'm doing just fine. And I've this commendation From a most grateful nation, For gallantry in the front line. 68377 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED The enemy I faced single handed, For I heard not "Retreat!", as commanded. And the foe, I'd not flee 'em, I didn't even see 'em, For I'm deaf and half-blind, I'll be candid. 68378 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED And anyhow, I couldn't crawl, What with my arthritis and all. The pains in my hip, That were giving me gyp, If I had heard that officer call. 68379 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED So there I just had to reside, 'Til the counter-attack by our side. Then they called me a hero, For showing no fear, oh, They told me that I might have died. 68380 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED I go to the regiment's functions, And pick up some dame at the luncheons. 'Cause strictly between us, I've still got a penis, That works with some gal in conjunction. 68381 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Anon In the desert, an abandoned tank Was wangled by a Yank named Frank. With no women around, In his vessel, newfound, Frank the Yank, in his tank, had a wank. 68382 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Stefan Marianski Home on leave in familiar scenes, A recent young draftee named Jeans Really felt like a heel At his first homecooked meal When he asked for the "fucking green beans" 68383 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P8901 Then Uncle Sam beckoned to me; "The Army's for you", chuckled he. So I gave him twenty, But I got back plenty, Outliving him statisticly. 68384 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED L E Ott P0206 He'd ordered "Hors d'oeuvres for Headquarters," Which the Cook misread "Horse for the mortars." Well Sergeant, try booze. You must never confuse "Ordures" with the General's orders. 68385 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Laurence Perrine P8406 Uncle Artie's come down from the attic; He's an ancient ham-radio fanatic. He "dot-dashed" the war For the Signal Corp. (He's convinced he hears "voices" in static.) 68386 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Jim Weaver Collection Cousin Tom is a Vietnam vet, Who is horny as horny can get. He claims Agent Orange Makes him swing like a door hinge, And the Air Force is thus in his debt. 68387 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED John Miller 0115 When those paid soldiers, CONDOTTIERI, March off to wars so mercenary, We must think of the Huns With bayonet guns In our wars Revolutionary. 68388 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Daniel Ford A communist comrade, old Fred, Tried to join I. R. A. for his bread. The sergeant replied: "Wrong cause!" -- and then sighed "Try holy comm-union instead!" 68389 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P8701 A soldier know only as Sarge Had sex with a hooker named Marge. Though only a grunt, He assaulted her cunt, And gave her an honorable discharge. 68390 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A soldier know only as Sarge Had sex with a hooker named Marge. Though only a grunt, He assalted her cunt, And gave her an honorable discharge. 68391 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Lim of Month Nov 2000 Sir Jeremy "Juggernaut" Jones Was a soldier, but not in his bones. He was meek as three lambs, Wrote love poems in iambs, And never went near combat zones. 68392 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Warrick Elrod They were lying together undresed, And the lancer was fondling her breast, When he heard his C.O. Outside in the snow, Order "Mount!" He obeyed the request. 68393 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Lance Payne P8406 A GI was sent to Ft. Bliss. He remembered his sweetheart's last kiss. But a girl out on the highway Said, "Let's do it my way." He said, "Life was never like this." 68394 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Ed Wolfert P8406 "I enlisted," confessed Private Lear, "And in three years of service, it's clear If there's one thing I've learned Where the army's concerned, It's never," he said, "volunteer!" 68395 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P8901 There was once a professor named Snife, Who grew tired of foxhole life. He longed for the classroom, Where he had more ass-room, And nights in bed with his wife. 68396 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED G0185 There once was a witless recruit Who proved to be less than astute; Congenial and chummy, He turned out a dummy, Not learning to shoot or salute. 68397 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED R. J. Winkler P8406 Let corporal punishment end, or I'll punish the major offender. And if privates in tents Have a colonel of sense, They'll wait for the opposite gender! 68398 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Lance Payne P8406 When Ma saw her son in the show, She cried, "I would like much to know, Why they chose raw recruits To march on these routes, They're all out of step except Joe." 68399 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Langford Reed P8809 An airman in bleak Killaloe, Threw each of his girls in a stew, When in uniform decked, And with member erect, He'd come at them, from out of the blue. 68400 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Keith MacMillan 70d A rude paratrooper is weird! After the plane had been cleared, Bits waved in the wind. We women all grinned "Your meat was well beat!" we all jeered. 68401 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED GIs found Phoenix City inviting. The bordellos were usually exciting, And not just for sex, But for the pretexts That they gave paratroopers for fighting. 68402 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P9205 Sex in the army, they deprive it. Be all you can be; you'll survive it. There's no escape, You'll be in shape Except for your parts that are private. 68403 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Tom Patton P9708 The corporals -- all of them drank. Their privates were dirty and stank. Cried the Major, "How vile! -- The rank and the file Are singularly foul and rank. 68404 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Lance Payne P8406 A consumate goldbrick named Herring, Whose technique and approach were unerring, Could give viewers the sense He was building a fence, Without ever actually stirring. 68405 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P8901 A Scots sergeant said to his men: "Ye've nae primed that gun right, ye ken?" "Too bad," said the gunner, "'Tis finished, I've done 'er And refuse to refuse again." 68406 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Those sergeants from Maine to Iraq, In Texas and in Little Rock, Say, "Drop all those cocks, And grab all your socks! It's now 0-500 o'clock." 68407 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Al Willis P9702 The Army's a wonderful life; It free's you from trouble and strife. I care not one jot If I should get shot; At least I'll be rid of the wife! 68408 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Paul Steele A sergeant drilled various groups, Expecting well-disciplined troops; He ordered "Assault!" Some thought he said "Halt!" Disgruntled, he yelled more than "Oops!" 68409 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED R. J. Winkler P8406 "My curses on you for a strumpet! I'll blare your affairs with a trumpet! I'll drum you from town!" He declared with a frown. "Now what did I do with my drum, pet?" 68410 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Laurence Perrine P8406 This tough nasty man, Sergeant Green, Said cynically, viewing the scene, "They are all hot to trot, But stealthy, they're not! And none of those harlots are clean." 68411 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Marlene Lewis "Left Turn!" shouted Sar'Major Grey As his vocal chords hit upper A. But his troops onward tramped, From the place they had camped In for most of the previous day. 68412 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "L E F T T U R N" bellowed Sar'Major Grey; But his troops were just too far away. Up ahead was the top Of a cliff and a drop Of some two hundred meters, I'd say. 68413 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "L E E F F T T U U R R N! yelled out Sar'Major Grey As his blood pressure near boiled away; Turning red as a beet From his face to his feet, As his troops still refused to obey. 68414 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "L E E E F F F T T T ..." screamed poor Sar'Major Grey Then in silence he watched in dismay, As his troops marched on over The white cliffs of Dover; He wiped a small tear-drop away. 68415 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "YOU FOOL!" bellowed Colonel Dupre; "Those were Frenchmen on exercise, Grey! Now you'll practice again With those troops from the Seine... A LA GAUCHE! -- that's an order, okay?" 68416 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "A GAUCHE!" shouted Sar'Major Grey As his troops from the Seine marched away. At the end of the field, With precision they wheeled... "C'est tre bon, mon ami!", said Dupre. 68417 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "AAH...GAUCHE! yelled out Sar'Major grey, Whereupon they all turned gauche right away; Gratifyingly slick And exceedingly quick, With no obvious sign of delay. 68418 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "AAAH G A U C H E!" bellowed Sar'Major Grey And was happy to see them obey Instantaneously Twenty feet from the sea Where their comrads, from earlier, lay. 68419 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "A A A A A G A U C H E sputtered Sar'Major Grey. ('Twas a bitter cold January Day.) Then "AAAH GAUCHE!" came the sneeze Which fair buckled his knees, And a gauche did his squaddies obey. 68420 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins "You fool!" bellowed Colonel Dupre As "AAAH GAUCHE!" sneezed poor Grey in dismay; For his troops wouldn't stop, Turning gauche 'til they dropped To the ground in complete disarray. 68421 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins Is there no fitter means you could drive at, You medical Joes, and arrive at Than this line I'm ajam in? -- Some means to examine The privates of privates in private? 68422 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Lance Payne P8406 How the Rajasthan Rifles were run Was a masochist's version of fun: They required their recruits To do short-arm salutes In the full equatorial sun. (Rajasthan - region and language in India) 68423 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Thomas A. Quinine P8406 This place is a terrible sight, The Army's not treating us right. My sphincter is loose, I shit like a goose; My gonads have shriveled up tight. 68424 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED The poll-takers checked with precision The men in the army division, As to preference for food Or a girl to get screwed, And it was, without fail, 'split decision'! 68425 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Albin Chaplin 3024-0586 With schemes that were cleverly crafted, Contrived so that conscripts were drafted, The service got many (Instead of not any) And most of them learned they got shafted. 68426 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED R. J.Winkler P8406 An old soldier who lived on his pension Saw a gal who was lovely past mention. He sighed, "My poor rod, In the old days, by God, Would have risen and stood at attention." 68427 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Scandalous Limerix A handsome recruit from Madrid Was possessed of a powerful id. He unsettled the lives Of his officers' wives, For whatever his id bid, he did. 68428 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED Laurence Perrine P9407 When they shit, they have not the least claim To privacy -- pissing the same. When all that they do Is on public view, Who could give army privates that name? 68429 WARFARE - ARMY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P9102 AAAA .... TENtion screamed Brigadier Grey As he lay on his back in the hay, But alas and alack, It stayed flaccid and slack, Which annoyed his new ladyfriend May. 68430 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS "You promised me truly," said May, "You could stand to attention all day; But it seems you're all mouth And no trousers down south, So I'll bid you farewell Mr. Grey." 68431 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Brigadier Fotheringay Had a permanent trouser affray, And his aim when he fired Was so rarely admired, For his shooting often went astray. 68432 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins The club expelled Fotheringay -- His mess bills exceeded his pay. He was caught with a book, And besides which he took To pig-sticking in QUITE the wrong way. 68433 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins Old Brigadier Hood (rather smarmy And upper-crust) must have been barmy, To welcome young Grey On that fateful May day, To the ranks of the great British Army. 68434 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins He may at the time have been mad; Or perhaps he quite fancied the lad. For he frequently went ter The medical center, To peer at the privates unclad. 68435 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins Whatever; young Grey passed the test And was issued with battledress, vest, And a pair of new booties And told of his duties, To keep 'em both clean and well-pressed. 68436 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins "TENtion!" screamed Brigadier Hood, As loudly as ever he could. It shocked the recruits From their ears to their boots, And put fear in their hearts, as it should. 68437 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins "You 'orrible, 'ORRIBLE lot!" He bellowed, "You ought to be shot!" "You ought to be what, sir?" "We oughta be shot, sir! Garotted and shot on the spot." 68438 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins "And YOU sir, step forward a pace; Your uniform, sir,'s a disgrace!" "Your uniform's what, sir?" "It's filthy as snotSAH!!" And so are your boots and your face." 68439 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins "And stand to attention you fool; This isn't some finishing school. You look like a what, sir? "A bit of a twat, SAH!!" "You said it, eh Private O'Toole." 68440 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins "Now listen you 'orrible lot. You're all that the army has got; And what has it got, sir? "Us 'orrible lot, sir!" "Too right and I'm losing the plot." 68441 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Peter Wilkins A Greek general after Thermopylae At once praised the strategic monopoly Of the pass by his men, But demoted them then, Since thay had not been uniformed properly. 68442 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS A. N. Wilkins P8406 A general, noting a large Loss of men in a regiment's charge, Asked, "Where is your officer?" "Gone to his office, Sir, To ponder the cost of dis charge." 68443 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Laurence Perrine P8406 Thus did General Bonehead put down All rumors of riot, "My coun- Terrevolution- Ary solution Will prevail!" Him they ran out of town. 68444 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Michael WeinStein P8406 The Duke of Wellington said, "This army must be led." He said, "Follow me, men, We will beat them again, Just as soon as I get out of bed." 68445 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Spike Milligan Our generals are chosen, it's said, From the gallant who've fought and who've bled. But though the truth galls, They must be all balls With an obvious lack of forehead. 68446 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Arthur Deex P8406 There was a young wench of Adower Whose face was a fair as a flower. She couldn't say "No, no!" To General de Bono, So they called off the war for an hour. (Refers to the Ethiopian War, 1936) 68447 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS G1732 The general's plan was complete. It depended on might and deceit; But the plan that was bred In the general's head Ended up in a general defeat. 68448 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Laurence Perrine P8406 I'm honored for fart-powered bass And volatile, blockbuster gas. And due to this fame Gen. H is my name -- The Army's conscripted my ass. 68449 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS The Bolshevik General embarks To pick up some whores in the parks. One exposes her muffin And the general starts puffin' -- It reminds him so much of Karl Marx. 68450 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Al Chaplin via Art Deex A general remarked with smile brightening, "I never feared thunder or lightning. And a war, as you see, Has no horrors for me, But the prospect of peace I find frightening." 68451 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Albin Chaplin 3024-2472 I often go laughing this way, As taught by General Pinochet. Take spammers, quite frantic, Out to mid-Atlantic, And let them swim back all the way. 68452 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Xavier Arnolis Once the TV reporters were gone, The general said with a yawn, "It's not hard when they need ya' Misleading the media. I just wish I knew what's going on. 68453 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS A. N. Wilkins P9103 Two generals, May and Dismay, Disagreed in a general way. May's might in defense At the public expense Made no sense to the General Dismay. 68454 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Lauarence Perrine P8406 Laughed Brigadier General Willett, "The shoe fits, so soldier, just fill it. You lucky young fellow, Your room's a bordello; You're lodged in a cathouse by billet." 68455 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Armand E Singer 460 American Generals can hardly go wrong; In small countries, they come on so strong. These military Yankers Were an army of wankers, When they lost to the little Viet Cong. 68456 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Tony Burrell You're right, and that was a stench Like a second-hand fifty-cent wench. I think we were wrong Not to help the Viet Cong, In ridding the place of the French. 68457 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS John Miller I suppose it's just mess table chaff Put about for an innocent laugh, That Monty's baton Had a condom thereon And was known as The General Staff. 68458 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS John E Mayhood There once was a leader of France Who in Belgium thought he'd take a chance. After which his design Was that England resign, But Wellington stopped his advance. 68459 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Literary Group I had an affair with a general Who was not the most virile of men; ral- Lying once a week Was the norm for this freak -- I hardly would call our sin vener'al. 68460 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Robin K. Willoughby P8406 Perestroika's beginning to tell, For the generals cannot dispel The feeling of gloom From impending doom. For them, they say, no war is hell. 68461 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS A N Wilkins P9005 General Patton had started to fret. "Those guys in DC are all wet. I said this to Ike, 'I face the Third Reich! Is that all the tanks that I get?'" 68462 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Al Willis The Generals musn't keep score Of outcomes, if you go to war: End contradictory, A Pyrhhic Victory Is just what they try to ignore. 68463 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Chris Papa Can a man serve his country if gay? It's a question that's asked to this day. Well General Queero, A byzantine hero, Shows each can serve in his own way. 68464 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS General Queero was such a great charmer, But in battle was quite the alarmer. When the going got tough, He would show his true stuff With a widening stain on his armor. 68465 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS When a messenger ran into camp (A handsome attractive young scamp) The message related: "The empires invaded!" The generals skivvies grew damp! 68466 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS "The hordes have come out of Mongolia; They're rampaging through Anatolia On their way to Byzantium. Where we hope to stanch 'em. If they catch ya they're sure to cornhole ya!" 68467 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Said the general, "Things could be worse, Since to cornholin' I ain't averse. I'll slow the horde down While you rally the town; Hold on while I go fetch my purse" 68468 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS "I'll take on the chinks by the score; Ten thousand at least maybe more. There's no time for tactics; I need prophylactics. This looks like a real Trojan war" 68469 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS But the general succumbed to the trial; Took 'em all up his ass single file. They plundered his booty Till he died in his duty, It took two weeks to wipe off the smile 68470 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Such things are depraved you may say, But the city was saved on that day. When General Queero Became a great hero, By throwing his ass in the fray. 68471 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS A White Russian general embarks To gather some whores in the parks. One opens her crack, But the general draws back -- It reminds him too much of Karl Marx. 68472 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Albin Chaplin 3024-2032 There was a discreet Brigadier, Very fond of Four Thousand a year, Who, when her heard the guns rattle, Fiercely cried, "Ha! The Battle!" Then complacently slid to the rear. 68473 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Carolyn Wells General Sir Marmaduke Maye To recall holding Afgans at bay, Had tattooed on his ass A view of Khyber Pass, With his troops in full battle array. 68474 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Warrick Elrod Egyptian General Gammel Wore underwear made of enamel. Without it, his tenting Had the men commenting, "Where'd he get the three humps on the camel?" 68475 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Mr Malo General Patton arrived with his tanks And the French girls turned out to say thanks. And those who approved Had their undies removed, Assisted by several strong Yanks. 68476 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Bob Giandomenico P8901 Westmoreland, so went the old claim, Was a superstud. Vast was his fame. But girls found out quick That to have a big prick, And to be one just isn't the same. 68477 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Michael Weinstein P8406 The Gulf War was a triumph for Norman, Stormin' Norman who led the allied warmen. In the Wild West days of yore, He would have , I am sure, Been the marshall, the sheriff or lawman! 68478 WARFARE - ARMY - GENERALS Arthur Pattaffy A colonel who served in Karachi Had undies most rigid and starchy, So that even 'at ease' Or in the mess, he's A great aerial for the Hitachi. 68479 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Lucy Right, Sergeant, I've studied the plan, That coast there is Afghanistan. It's land-locked? Oh no! You see we can row Ashore. Come, what's wrong with you, man. 68480 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Tiddy Ogg I say, local peasant, come here. Is that Ossie Laden bloke, near? What's that you say, mister? Me jig-jig your sister? Some afghani tart? Oh no fear. 68481 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Tiddy Ogg You what? Hey there, Sergeant, this chap Is certainly talking pure crap. He says the most danger To an innocent stranger, Is an officer, dumb, with a map. 68482 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Tiddy Ogg "You fool! Now there'll be hell to pay," Said the sergeant, on the Spanish quay; "Please err to the East, So if we miss our beach, We hit nude beaches at St Tropez! 68483 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Dr Limerick Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar Was sent to the front by the Czar, Where he fell to the rear Of Abdul Amir, And buggered the rest of the war. 68484 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS A Major, whose mutinous trews, Got him smartly cashiered from the Blues, Found alternate employ -- Hired his pride and his joy As a cool, shady place for a snooze. 68485 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Lucy My friend, a U.S. Army colonel, Had manners and language infernal. As he went into action He'd mellow a fraction; It was blamed on assignments nocturnal! 68486 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Arthur Pattaffy Two colonels, between desert bases, Once ordered their men: "Stop! Oases!" Informed entourages Who knew these mirages With glee watched them sand both their faces! 68487 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Prof M-G A commander assigned to Calcutta Was the sort who would stammer and stutter. He procured his cigars In the finest bazaars, But his girlfriends he got from the gutter. 68488 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Thomas A. Quinine P8506 A lieutenant was full to the brim Of strategy, tactics, and trim. The broads had a notion He was due for promotion, The way staff work was handled by him. 68489 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Bill Backe-Hansen P8406 In the army once was a gay colonel, Who wrote all he did in his jolonel. His wife found it one day And loudly did say, "I think this is simply infolonel!" 68490 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Yale Record P0007 Teenager, teenager, teenager, I'll make with you now a small wager: Whether coalminer's son Or son-of-a-gun, You'll chute up from miner to Major. 68491 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Laurence Perrine P8503 "Tell me, what's going on at HQ?" "Why, Colonel, we thought that you knew. We've aimed all our mortars At Nurses' Headquarters. We hope, before long, to break through." 68492 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Lance Payne P8406 An officer's pay is too low To allow him to make a great show, For it doesn't make sense To charge an expense When one ought to be charging the foe. 68493 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Laurence Perrine P8406 A report now from Wolf Blitzer live; it's A scoop for The World News at Five; it's A new prison tenant, A pervert lieutenant, Who can't keep his hands off his privates. 68494 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Larry Hollister An infantry captain named Bowes, As the company orders disclose, Had the urinals raised As the corporals gazed, Just to keep all the men on their toes. 68495 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS A. N. Wilkins P8406 Now one of von Richthofen's tricks, Which made enemy pilots shit bricks, Was to put on his scarf (A full mile-and-a-half) And support it behind him on sticks .. 68496 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Peter Wilkins ..To give the impression of speed So alarmingly rapid indeed, That the enemy, awed And transfixed muttered "Gawd!" And then "Blimey!" or "Bugger, I've peed." 68497 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Peter Wilkins Von Richtoffen, damen und herren, Was so much in love with wife Karen, They'd fuck, scarlet faced, Till his heart and pulse raced... No kids though, for poor old Red's barren. 68498 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Tiddy Ogg A second-lieutenant named Ames Delighted a number of dames By using a ruse Designed to amuse, While playing unusual games. 68499 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS R. J. Wilkins P8406 A stupid cadet at West Point Got caught while smoking a joint. At the end of that day, He no longer wore grey; His parents he did disappoint. 68500 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Thomas A Ratliff P0308 Go go go go go go go go boot! Fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight loot! Win win win win win win Win win win win win win Win win win win win win win win shoot. 68501 WARFARE - ARMY - OFFICERS Anon From the most recent news, me-thinks We ought not be bombing the chinks. I don't think them red commies Are fond of our bombies, Especially since our aim stinks. (accidently bombed Chinese Embassy 1999 in Kosovo) 68502 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS I have heard enough, please, From the lousy chinese. Daily at home, They kill their own; They should be fond of our deeds. 68503 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Choosing targets is kind of an art That sets intelligence people apart From the average chap; Just buy a good map For each aimpoint; you then throw a dart! 68504 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS When the Chinese insist that we choose 'em; To deliberately and brutally abuse 'em; Then sure you can reckon On our next secret weapon, We dispatch Miss Lewinsky to soothe 'em. 68505 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Believe me, I'm not worried, friend; I'm so glad that with each bomb we send, No CIA dunce Has ever yet once, Put me on the receiving end. 68506 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS With a whoosh and a flash and ker-plooey! A few chinks are reduced to chop suey. After all of their lying About nuclear spying, We don't think its an accident, do we? 68507 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS There was an old soldier named Frank, Kept his gun in the house as a prank. When the cops came to look, They all trembled and shook; 'Twas not small! 'Twas a large anti-tank! 68508 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Arthur Pattaffy Fifty years later, some people swear "Little Boy" and "Fat Man" did their share. While other lament Those bombs being sent, I just say with a shrug, "C'est la guerre." 68509 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Loren C Fitzhugh P9509 To folks who are still singing psalms Of achieving our goals, using bombs: I would guess that depends -- Is one of our ends Blasting hospitals, children and moms? 68510 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS All's quiet along the Potomac. The Skybolt's asleep with the Bomarc. The Kennedy sings To the last of the kings, And the diplomat fills his estomac. 68511 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Conrad Aiken P0900 "Hey captain, a building's still standing, Just right for a half-ton bomb's landing. Red cross on the top? You don't want to stop? OK sir, it's you that's commanding." 68512 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS "That food aid down there that we smashed? It's Euro-crap, all utter trash. We'll send 'em some more From our vast Merkin store, And give our producers some cash." 68513 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS A man by the named of Jerome Said, "Let's bring Americans home. We'll get out of Vietnam Which is not worth a damn, We should then bomb the Pope's palace in Rome." 68514 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Albin Chaplin War only leads to perdition And to end it, I've made it my mission. But the Serbs disagree And I therefore decree, We will bomb their ass into submission! 68515 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS You can't see the wood for the trees, Tim McVey sure brought you to your knees, So he had to fry. But please tell me why You dropped napalm on young Vietnamese? 68516 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tony Burrell Sometimes you're happy; sometimes you're blue. Sometimes the past comes back to haunt you. I agree that execution Is an appropriate solution, But for which bombers and by who? 68517 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tony Burrell Old Glory waves proudly unfurled To honor the bombs that we've hurled, And soon folks will say: "The great U.S.A. Owns all of the land in the world!" 68518 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS The Crusader's supporters are hustlin' To save it from procurement's dustbin; We'll need it, at least, In the Middle East -- Its name shows it's made to kill Muslims. 68519 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 05-08-02 Ending this crazy arms race, Is something we all have to face. We need no more bombs, Koreas or 'Nams; Destroy instead of replace. 68520 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Gifford Wherry If it ever becomes your fate, Stuck where a nuke will detonate, Don't run for your car; You will not get far. Me? I would just evacuate. 68521 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tom Myers The best plan is simply to wait, Since traffic jams infuriate. I will not engage In hostile road rage; It's better to evaporate! 68522 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Travis Brasell It's advice from out of the Pentateuch; Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, plague for nuke. Some acts are so vile That there is no time for trial; Our missles will give our rebuke. 68523 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 03-09-02 But won't fallout and new radiation Cause cancers, and other mutations? Similar to the others, It could be the mother Of all biological agents. 68524 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 03-09-02 The nuclear test was, no doubt, Successful, but d'you hear about Marie and Tyrone Making love in that zone... A pity 'bout their falling out. 68525 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tiddy We dropped a big bomb on the Japs; They'd been led astray by satraps. With atomic scission A Fat Man of fission Vaporized them while taking their naps. 68526 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Eric Seaberg An early machine gun called a Gatling, When fired, it wouldn't stop rattling. The gunners were shaking; This was not due to faking; The gunners' hands soon looked like crackling. 68527 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Arthur Pattaffy Here's a survey that needs to be done, On the merits of having a gun; Ask anyone harmed But a thug who was armed, If he wishes he, too, had had one. 68528 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Frank Petersohn There was a mechanic of Annick, Whose feelings were anti-Germanic. So when war had begun, He constructed a gun, Whose dimensions were simply titanic. 68529 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Langston Reed An impudent fellow named Pruitt Found poison in caribou suet. "If I tell Dr Wood That it's not any good, I'll rue it," said Pruitt, "so screw it." (espoused making Alaskan harbor with a-bombs) 68530 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Anon As the tensions are reaching their crest, India's conducting a test Of its newest missle For atomic epistles, To Pakistan cities addressed. 68531 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 01-25-02 A clumsy young soldier named Tom Fell flat with a thousand-pound bomb. And now up on Mars, They are saying, "My stars! Where on Earth did you emigrate from?" 68532 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS The Irish I don't really hate, But the IRA makes me irate. All the bombers are dopes, Round their necks should be ropes; To drop them from gallows would be great. 68533 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Mushroom A bomb that was from IRA Was supposed to go off one day. But Paddy was thick And put in the wrong wick, And it wound up a fireworks display. 68534 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Mushroom "The grenades that the fuckin' Japs use Are so lousy," declared Sergeant Hughes, "That a Jap, battle weary, With one tried hari-kari, And suffered no more than a bruise." 68535 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS A. N. Wilkins P8901 Half a century plus is the span Since the Bomb was laid on Japan; Though only just nine, I remember just fine When the nuclear shit hit the fan! 68536 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS John Miller 0050b Had the Bomb first been built by Japan, It's use would, of course, have been banned. From pure love they'd have stopped it, They'd never have dropped it. (Just how much bullshit can you stand?) 68537 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Jim Menger P9403 If Japan got the BOMB, though we'd cuss, Hirohito would say without fuss, "Since Pearl Harbor, I think, I have not slept a wink. Please take it and drop it on us." 68538 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Al Chaplin P9403 The Jap sons of heaven may boast That since they could shell the West Coast, If they had the Bomb, They would have stayed calm, And not turned our parents to toast. 68539 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Larry J. Davis P9403 Believe this canard if you like, But they would be likely to strike That very same day; Then give it away, To their lovely friends in the Reich. 68540 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Larry J. Davis P9403 The way the conglomerate flouts All decency, ends any doubts That the world's gone to Hell; What GI could foretell That Jeeps would be made by the Krauts? 68541 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS A N Wilkins P9812 Our Lesley is a whiz with a knife; 'Round her we will never cause strife, Or else we will lose What we prize in our trews, And normally save for the wife! 68542 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Archie There was a young girl of the Somme, Who sat on a number five bomb. She thought 'twas a dud 'un, But it went off sudden -- Her exit was made with aplomb! 68543 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Wipers Times 1916 (Bibby) A scientist working at Sandia Found a way to make larger bombs handier. The result of a test In the desert Southwest, Turned the land close at hand even sandier. 68544 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Chris Marks This soldier who married his tank, Thought that it was just a big prank. The tank laughed and laughed; It had a crankshaft! The soldier can do naught but wank. 68545 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Of terrorists there's a reduction. A teacher's been seized, causing ruction. He'd rule, calculator, Graph sheets, curve creator... They're weapons all of maths instruction. 68546 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tiddy Ogg "My dear, you've lost your loving touch; So much for concordance and such." Said the wife, with a snigger, As she pulled the trigger, "Here lately, I've missed you so much!" 68547 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Matthew Montchalin The DoD should not be judged On the test GAO says was fudged; The results are quite clear From the test of last year, That our missle defense can't be dodged. 68548 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 03-04-02 Then please give us info complete To audit last year's spendid feat. Sorry, we regret To say it's Top Secret, And will be 'til it's obsolete. 68549 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 03-04-02 "To end all the commotion and stir About MX missles," said Kerr, "They should hide them away In mail trucks today. Then no one would know where they were." 68550 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Arthur N. Wilkins P8304 There was a young fellow named Tom Who constructed a wonderful bomb. His zeal was commendable, But Tom was expendable -- There was not enough left to embalm. 68551 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Glen Hughes P0201 If you have to make a big fuss And act like a crotchety cuss, Territorial glomming Will earn you a bombing; Its best if you don't fuck with us. 68552 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS "The salt mines? Oh spare me the salt! That Russia's no more, ain't my fault!" "Yes it is, Igor dear, For you should have kept clear Of that button marked "Nuke" in the vault!" 68553 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Peter Wilkins When the O-bomb gfoes off near their trench, All the soldiers will act like they're French. They will wank 'til they're blind, Meanwhile trying to find Enough Kleenex to clean up their drench. (orgasm bomb makes enemy troops helpless) 68554 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Allen Wolverton Over Iraq we'll drop an O-bomb, Then the only thing from Saddam That we'll likely hear Are moans of good cheer, And whining about sore hairy palms. 68555 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Carol The Prez of the U.S. of A. Had sex in the White House one day. They did naked rolls On the nuclear controls, And blew North Korea Away. 68556 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Anon The photographer was sent on assignment, To stay with a missile consignment. A trajectory change When out on the range; Arms, legs and lens all off alignment. 68557 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Arthur Pattaffy The Army has numerous tanks, Assigned to its armored force ranks. They are hard to conceal As they rumble and squeal, Along with their rattles and clanks. 68558 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Thomas Ratliff P0304 There was a young person named Frank. Who was keen to manoeuvre a tank; But when given the chance, Made directly for France, Went rather too far, so he sank. 68559 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Mark Wainwright When Scud missiles to Israel were shot, The answer was the Patriot. There were thirty nine hits, Quite a few in wee bits, With few casualties, believe it or not. 68560 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Arthur Pattaffy A Frenchman who always wore creases, Played cricket with two of his nieces, By the edge of the Rhine, When he stepped on a mine, And was blown into thousands of pieces. 68561 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Cap'n Bean P2005 This shipment of submachine ammo Is defective, and makes our guns jam o- Pen, making them stutter, Unless we add butter, Whence the ammo unjams and goes "BLAMMO!" 68562 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Robin K. Willoughby P8406 There once was a wise politician Who said, "I have faith in my mission; But if this bloody bomb Kills the fellows it's from, Then I'm placed in an awful position." 68563 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS A. M. Sayers Whenever you go buy a gun, A background check's part of the fun. But the FBI can't know This private info, No matter what they think you have done. 68564 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 12-06-01 Ashcroft can detain you forever, Or eavesdrop on you and whomever; You'll be secretly tried And might secretly die, But your right to bear arms they can't sever. 68565 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick 12-06-01 Nearly sixty years back, in the blitz, I was scared nearly to bits. I'd fall to the floor When I heard a plane's roar: Will ours be the house that it hits. 68566 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tiddy Ogg From now on, I was not in a funk. They'd not write Tiddy Ogg on their junk. I'd do no more cringin', When I heard a plane's engine; I would sleep quite sound in my bunk. 68567 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tiddy Ogg No, I was not scared any more. I heeded my old dad's folk-lore. No, I'd not be caught, But I did spare a thought, For the Doodlebug family next door. 68568 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tiddy Ogg My dad calmed me down, saying "Son, If it's got your name on it you're done. If not, you're OK; You'll see another day; Otherwise then there's nowhere to run." 68569 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Tiddy Ogg A nation with manner quite trusting Said peace was a subject disgusting. When they got into war All their profits did soar, And it kept all the weapons from rusting. 68570 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Albin Chaplin We all know St. Francis' prayer... And Nathan Hale's words of despair, But which diplomat Said, "What the hell's that?" The answer? Hiroshima's mayor. 68571 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Arthur Deex P9003 Our pilots, aggressive and zealous, Make all other services jealous. We applaud them, and yet, We shouldn't forget, We know just what they choose to tell us. 68572 WARFARE - BOMBS/WEAPONS Dr Limerick On Lake Erie the battle went fine; The British were forced to resign. Said Perry, the victor, "Great Britain - I've licked her - Take the Union Jack off and raise mine." 68573 WARFARE - HISTORY Jim Weaver Collection The troops thought he was insane, When Geronimo jumped from the plane. But they knew that he had Begun a new fad, When he fell while screaming his name! 68574 WARFARE - HISTORY Jumpin Jack On his deathbed, a vicious old Hun Confessed all the evil he'd done. He had beaten his wife Throughout married life, But he chuckled, "At least it was fun." 68575 WARFARE - HISTORY Isaac Asimov The British uniforms were red So they'd not know if they had bled. And from the waist-line down, Their uniforms were brown, To blend with bullets overhead. 68576 WARFARE - HISTORY Irving Superior "With the Krauts now no faternization." General Patton gave this explanation: "You may copulate freely And fraternize really As long as there's no conversation." 68577 WARFARE - HISTORY A. N. Wilkins P8901 It's my guess that George Custer opined Marcus Reno just must have been blind. For the Major that morn At the Little Big Horn, Couldn't locate troops he tried to find. 68578 WARFARE - HISTORY Loren Fitzhugh These days the world likes to remember Hiroshima and Nagasaki in embers. But they tend to forget What led up to it; Pearl Harbor, the seventh of December 68579 WARFARE - HISTORY Azul I almost forgot to remember What happened that day in December, Nineteen Forty One, When the Jap Rising Sun, Left Pearl Harbor a smoldering ember. 68580 WARFARE - HISTORY Jim Weaver Collection What a terrible humiliation When the Japanese humbled our nation! That they made us a clown With our pants falling down; That day rivaled Hawaii's devastation. 68581 WARFARE - HISTORY Jim Weaver Collection I remember well that August day When THE BOMB blew the Jap war away. Pastor screamed, "I ain't glad. It's a sin and I'm mad, When ENOLA said, 'I'm one proud GAY'." (apologies to P. Tibbets and his mother) 68582 WARFARE - HISTORY Loren C Fitzhugh P9808 In Flander's fields poppies still grow And flying high, bird songs still flow. Beneath the tilled soil, Lost spirits still toil -- We died, under orders, you know. 68583 WARFARE - HISTORY Archie They said, it's the war to end war. We willingly went and lots more. But since we have died, More widows have cried. Please tell us just what we died for? 68584 WARFARE - HISTORY Archie And old men, they told us to fight; And we believed them, it was right! They made up the rules, And made us just tools, Then paid for the crosses so bright! 68585 WARFARE - HISTORY Archie Old men still send young men to die And now hear our granddaughters cry, As down through the ages That bloodlust still rages. Why the Hell did we even try? 68586 WARFARE - HISTORY Archie My dad in the War flew Spitfires, And fought with the Boche o'er the shires. Confirmed kills of seven, With one over Devon; Of flyers, an Ace!...And of sires. 68587 WARFARE - HISTORY Ogni Gioa There's a story they tell rather sadly Of that excellent General Bradley. His tactics appealed To the troops in the field, But with girls in the mess they failed badly. 68588 WARFARE - HISTORY John E Mayhood The Brits had their Monty Montgomery Whose court martial might have been summary, When Dickie Mountbatten Told General Patton That Monty said Ike was all flummery. 68589 WARFARE - HISTORY John E Mayhood At Civil War's end, an old Yankee Burned Georgia because he was cranky. Those sweet Southern Belles Were all blonde bombshells, But they told him no hanky-panky. 68590 WARFARE - HISTORY Was young Hannibal's reasoning firm? I still wonder and would like to learn Why in God's name would he, When those Alps he did see, Suggest crossing them by Pachyderm? 68591 WARFARE - HISTORY Loren Fitzhugh Those who fought for the home of the brave, In remembrance brass plaques are engraved; Great heroes that died, Heroines by there side, Sacrifice that our flag may long wave. 68592 WARFARE - HISTORY The British in France, it appears, Waged battles for one hundred years. Now they said it was grand, A quite chivalric stand, But the loot they took came out their ears. 68593 WARFARE - HISTORY Warrick Elrod When the Bosches set fire to Louvain, It caused the All-Mightiest pain; They say that the heart Was the sensitive part, And I fear it is bleeding again. 68594 WARFARE - HISTORY Anon Punch 1918 (Bibby) Admiral Nelson, zapped on his last cruise, Was preserved in a keg of hard booze. When the keg was uncapped The good admiral was tapped, To the smiles and applause of his crews. 68595 WARFARE - HISTORY William N Nesbit The death march on the isle of Bataan Atrocities that were part of their plan; The Bushido creed That Samurai heed; They would have fought to the very last man. 68596 WARFARE - HISTORY Jim Weaver Collection In World War II the Germans found Instead of through, to go around The Maginot Line. "Imagine no line And Ein Zwei Drei, we're Paris bound." 68597 WARFARE - HISTORY Irving Superior P8901 It was Larry of Araby's brass Which induced him to fondle the ass Of a truculent Turk Who made very short work Of our hero's advances, alas! 68598 WARFARE - HISTORY Thomas A. Quinine P8407 Americans ten thousand strong Defeated the frenzied Viet Cong. They took over the area But they lost to malaria; The survivors did not stay too long. 68599 WARFARE - HISTORY Albin Chaplin It's been 45 years since I shouted "Hurray!" For an enemy routed. I don't, by and large, Give a damn who's in charge, When the might of our Pentagon's flouted. 68600 WARFARE - HISTORY My kids have just been away, A week at their Granny's to stay. The house has been quiet; No shouting, no riot! More peace than for many a day. 68601 WARFARE - HISTORY Joie de Vivre No babies, no sitters, we're free! We went to the pictures to see A film...Private Ryan, Got me to cryin'. The poignacy did upset me. 68602 WARFARE - HISTORY Joie de Vivre To Omaha Beach I have been; The cemetery there I have seen; Rows of white crosses And stars. Oh, the losses To life. So immense and obscene. 68603 WARFARE - HISTORY Joie de Vivre The greatest of Want Ads -- War Two -- Shows grim Uncle Sam, "I WANT YOU," On walls everywhere To make us aware Our blood type was Red, White, and Blue. 68604 WARFARE - HISTORY Irving Superior P8703 At the Third Army whorehouse 'am Rhein', The GIs all saw old Patton's sign, Once they'd made the steep climb Up the stairs: "Don't waste time! Other soldiers are waiting in line." 68605 WARFARE - HISTORY A. N. Wilkins P9205 Let's remember Pearl Harbor again And vow that we'll always make plain That we'll take no crap From an Arab or Jap, As we recently proved with Hussein. 68606 WARFARE - HISTORY John Miller 0173 A book lover went into a store To read every book that he saw, On Korea and Vietnam, Iraq, Kuwait and Iran, 'Cause he said I'm a student of war. 68607 WARFARE - HISTORY Arthur Pattaffy Let's join the war, the US guys cried, But it took them too long to decide, That the Brits had it won, But it seemed so much fun, That the Yanks went along for the ride. 68608 WARFARE - HISTORY Dr Limerick Brits, French, Germans strung in a line, From Antwerp to the banks of the Rhine, And there matters stood, Until Belleau Wood, When the Yankees arrived, just in time! 68609 WARFARE - HISTORY Dr Limerick Yankee Generals love great panoramas; World War II and other such dramas. But they only can win When they've got Errol Flynn. They can't beat guys with black pajamas. 68610 WARFARE - HISTORY Dr Limerick General Giap learned to easily confound The American giant, musclebound. The humiliation Of the number one nation, Was like what once happened at Yorktown. 68611 WARFARE - HISTORY Dr Limerick Remember on Veterans Day How you served in that comfortable way. You were looking for cunt While the bastards up front Has their asses shot off in the fray. 68612 WARFARE - HISTORY A. N. Wilkins P8612 To say "They died for nothing"'s a lie. On the plains of Ukraine, in the sky Above the Channel, on the sands Of Africa, in France; They died so that others might die. 68613 WARFARE - HISTORY Aaron Bell P9412 My godmother's mate was lost there; At the Burma Hump, he hadn't a prayer. She was never the same, Though I remember her name; She lived out her life in despair. 68614 WARFARE - HISTORY Azul We Brits fought the Nazis alone, For two years, so don't you make moan. You want 'raqi oil? Then on your own toil. In two years, give us a phone. 68615 WARFARE - IRAQ Now where is the place where they say: UN inspectors? No way! We've chemical stocks Off anthrax and pox. That's right! It's the U. S. of A. 68616 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg There's a false notion that has been sown -- America will be on its own. It's the anti-war band With its head in the sand, That falsely claims that we'll be alone. 68617 WARFARE - IRAQ Al Bienstock Bush's leadership has been thrilling. To Saddem's enablers, that's chilling. So they will not impede What the US will lead -- A coalition of the willing. 68618 WARFARE - IRAQ Al Bienstock Tonight I will tell you no jokes; Instead bow my head for those folks Maimed by the attack We've made on Iraq; Good people caught up in bad strokes. 68619 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller I cannot tell who's more insane, Us or their leader Hussein. To "get" just this man, It looks like we plan Putting millions in misery and pain. 68620 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller Perhaps we don't care, it's not us (In war, it has always been thus); Then consider the cost Of the missiles we've tossed And there's deeper costs we could discuss. 68621 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller Consider: one shot to the brain Could take out this madman, Hussein. But all sense withdraws Because of our laws; From action like this we refrain. 68622 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller Yet you know very well we'd rejoice If a bomb were to silence his voice. Although hundreds be maimed Where the missle was aimed... It seem like a very strange choice. 68623 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller I end with just one final principle: NO ONE is truly invincible! It can be a mistake To poke at a snake -- Its venom can be reprehensible. 68624 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller Why all the Congressional show Asserting the right to say so, About war with Hussein, When the vote made it plain Neither house had the guts to say NO! 68625 WARFARE - IRAQ A. N. Wilkins P9102 Joe Smith, a Marine in Iraq, Enjoyed riding camels bareback. But their humps were so firm That they killed all his sperm, Sending him home medevac. 68626 WARFARE - IRAQ The Sailor P0310 America's friends have grown slack Because of the war in Iraq; However, with luck, There's still a Canuck Whose willing to give us a crack! 68627 WARFARE - IRAQ The lawless regime now in ruins, Did fall from the acts of its doin's, By soldier and tank. I dare say I thank Our forces to stop its renewin's. 68628 WARFARE - IRAQ Matthew Montchalin But then, it was lawful enough. If you make dictatorships tough, Folks all must succumb, Stay under the thumb, It's now you've the anarchy stuff. 68629 WARFARE - IRAQ Matthew Montchalin And if I may add to that rhyme, Dictatorships may be a crime, But if you want order, Then seal off the border, And make sure the trains run on time. 68630 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg Beware if you cast the first stone, The lawlessness state is your own. What's that? Are you shocked? There's millions of you locked In prisons in Uncle Sam's zone. 68631 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg Dubya said, "I promise you this: Saddam will be gone, I insist. I'll drop some J-dams. I will get my man. If you don't survive, you'll be missed." 68632 WARFARE - IRAQ Dave Winer The UN is not doing so great. Most all want winds of war to abate. While Saddam chews knuckles, He suppresses chuckles. Like last time the catch words are coup wait. 68633 WARFARE - IRAQ Tom Patton P0304 Do you think a known criminal should Carry a gun in your neighborhood? Would you want him disarmed Before your family's harmed? Yes, of course -- any sane person would. 68634 WARFARE - IRAQ Al Bienstock As the world grows smaller each day, Safety must be addressed a new way. Our neighborhood's global; Dirty bombs are mobile, And an armed tyrant is not okay. 68635 WARFARE - IRAQ Al Bienstock Internationally, It's Saddem Who's the armed criminal -- with a bomb. I don't know how we Can let Saddem go free -- We must use force to make him disarm. 68636 WARFARE - IRAQ Al Bienstock It seems that his doubles were counted, First once, and then twice, and recounted. And aiming we struck -- We hit him -- such luck! A bull's eye! So let's be astounded. 68637 WARFARE - IRAQ Matthew Montchalin If terrorists make their attacks, The whores in their ramshackle shacks Are ready for trouble; They've bent over double And carefully duct-taped their cracks! 68638 WARFARE - IRAQ Travis Brasell Now what you say's right, because Suzy Did just what you said, and felt woozy. She used the tape (duct) But still she got fucked, For they blew it away with their Uzi. 68639 WARFARE - IRAQ Lightbulb Last week two great battles were fought To unseat evil leaders who've bought Support for a while, Using cunning and guile; At first glance we've the victories sought. 68640 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller Far away we attacked to contain Iraq, led by Saddam Hussein. Here billions were blown But he's still on the throne. And we'll soon have to do it again. 68641 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller With Saddam's regime on the run, The yanks failed to find smoking gun. Now when it's Castro's turn Then their fingers won't burn, As they're looking for a smoking nun. 68642 WARFARE - IRAQ Saddam, the mid-east malefactor, He's always been a bad actor. He tried to GLOM A nuclear bomb After Israel wrecked his reactor. 68643 WARFARE - IRAQ Norm Brust Saddam in his grammar school days, Perfected his devious ways. The rumor is that He gassed the school's cat, And set all the inkwells ablaze. 68644 WARFARE - IRAQ Graham Lester They tell us that we're the Great Satan; Their worship is hardly abating. They throw hand grenades At our soldiers and aides, To assist in our swift Pearly Gating. 68645 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg But Satan to them's a buffoon, A moron, a half-wit, a loon. I put it to you, That seems pretty true, (Referring to Dubya, the goon). 68646 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg I guess your assessment is fair, But who else do we have with the flair That might set us right, And show us the light, Compared to the genius of Blair? 68647 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller The danger with which he's been flirtin' Isn't worth all the rules he's been skirtin'. If his radars come on, He can count them all gone; You can rest assured Saddam is hurtin'. 68648 WARFARE - IRAQ In Baghdad, they found in a basement Some autos, that to their amazement, Were untouched by rust, Yet covered by dust, When somehow they suffered defacement. 68649 WARFARE - IRAQ Matthew Montchalin And video pictures revealed How well the garage had been sealed, To keep poor folks out, For none were allowed Lest some of them drive away "wheeled." 68650 WARFARE - IRAQ Matthew Montchalin Though, true, we've seen nary a trace Of bad man Saddam's ugly face, He could be around Somewhere underground, No doubt 'tween Iraq and a hard place! 68651 WARFARE - IRAQ Matthew Montchalin Don't EVER think we are so strong, We can rest on our laurels for long. Some one like Iraq Could launch an attack, And prove all our arrogance wrong. 68652 WARFARE - IRAQ Jim Weaver Collection C Hitchens has promised no war; Just intervention is all that we score. Emancipation I say Will come in a day. Right now, it's the Left I deplore. 68653 WARFARE - IRAQ Dave Winer The Iraq War we don't count as a loss, Over this point we shouldn't now gloss: We've caused millions great pain Just to punish Hussein. It's so good that we've shown him who's boss... 68654 WARFARE - IRAQ John Miller There once was a man from Iraq Who must've smoked way to much crack. I hope he is damned For his terrorist plans; Please blow his punk ass off the map. 68655 WARFARE - IRAQ Eydol There's just one way to deal with Iraq, But to where do you bomb them all back? If you stop way too soon, Like George Bush did, the goon; Until they're all in Hell, just attack. 68656 WARFARE - IRAQ Tomer Shiran Security at Heathrow Airport Fills the people with fear and exhorts The cause. But the "Times" Fills up the mob's mind With Celebs and Gossip and Sport. 68657 WARFARE - IRAQ Stefan Marianski There's tanks on the streets in the hunt For terrorists. Blair, stupid cunt, Is ass-licking Bush And wants him to push The button. It's us bear the brunt. 68658 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg Despite the reports in the news, This war ain't about oil or Jews, Or weapons of Mass Destruction. Alas! Iraq has a flock of fine ewes. 68659 WARFARE - IRAQ Travis Brasell Well now, this suits me just fine. Please tell me where I have to sign. You ain't gonna keep Me away from those sheep; You'll find me there in the front line. 68660 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg Let's rescue each warm, woolly mammal. Or else, as we know, old Saddam'll Harems to keep us From sheepus and lepus Or even from one lusty camel. 68661 WARFARE - IRAQ Travis Brasell Iraq OK'd weapons inspection As a ploy to create misdirection, From what Lampsos has said About Saddam in bed, And her failure of missile detection. 68662 WARFARE - IRAQ Hussein is the duck of Iraq; Spends all day just washing his back. He drills so much oil... Makes Mr. Bush boil, But soon we will have the last quack. 68663 WARFARE - IRAQ Iraq's Al-Sahhaf slyly fled And off from Damascus he sped. "See, I told you we'd win. Won't you please let me in?" "Sir, you cannot be Syria's," they said. 68664 WARFARE - IRAQ Graham Lester I've come up with a devilish plan, That may fool that crazy Saddam. Let's put Ogg and a sheep, On some Baghdad Street; He'll will think it's a battering ram. 68665 WARFARE - IRAQ John Henry The long diplomatic PALAVER On Saddam as nuclear haver, Is threateded by Bush, Whose agressive push Would leave old Saddam a cadaver. 68666 WARFARE - IRAQ Daniel Ford Abu was a vision obscene, With will and intent to demean. But away he was blown In the free fire zone, Done in by a U S Marine. 68667 WARFARE - IRAQ The Sailor P0308 Cried Bush, "Let us level Iraq," Before they have time to strike back. Civilians we'll slaughter, Each son and each daughter, I want a preemptive attack!" 68668 WARFARE - IRAQ Bob Birch P0302 In Baghdad few tears have been shed And hookers are giving free head. Girls perform ululation In great celebration, Now that Qusay and Uday are dead 68669 WARFARE - IRAQ Arnie Schoenbrun P0308 Saddam, when he's launching his scuds, Now and then finds that some are just duds; About one in fifty Are slow and un-swifty, And fall to the ground and just "thuds." 68670 WARFARE - IRAQ Gary Hallock Sean Penn, a guest of Saddam's Iraq, Dissed Dubya in a stupid attack. Not even Madonna, His ex-wife, would wanna Stoop so low as to welcome him back. 68671 WARFARE - IRAQ Al Bienstock Said Bush to Saddam, "Well you blew it, Hid weapons and our CIA knew it." Out of guilt Bill replied, "Though a crotch I had spied, I still claim that I didn't screw it!" (both started New Years with a bang) 68672 WARFARE - IRAQ Bob Birch P0302 Bill and Saddam they think much alike. After New Year's, they'll seek a first strike. Even though both are spent, Neither one will repent, But Bill's head won't end up on a pike! 68673 WARFARE - IRAQ Tom Patton P0302 Bill Clinton said, "Welcome aboard!" As he sneaked in a bangable broad. While Saddam and his gang Fear an ear-splitting bang, And are thinking of sneaking abroad. 68674 WARFARE - IRAQ Arnie Schoenbrun P0302 Etymologists show us with glee How versatile banging can be;, Despite Hillary's anger, Bill's a popular banger; In war Sadam will be the bangee. 68675 WARFARE - IRAQ Arnie Schoenbrun P0302 We're a country so young, and so small, Yet we're eons ahead of YOU ALL. When we're done with Iraq, Could be you we attack; Just like last time, again you will fall. 68676 WARFARE - IRAQ Like Bush, Tony Blair's in a pickle; The polls say war fever's a trickle. If Saddam calls his bluff, Then all his talk tough Means he's left himself no room to wiggle. 68677 WARFARE - IRAQ Dr Limerick 09-03-02 The Pentagon no longer grieves, For news it this moment receives From those on the ground; Saddam's arms are found! He's hidden the things up his sleeves. 68678 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Ogg In Iraq's presidential election, Abdul made a silly selection. To impress an old flame, He erased Saddam's name. Next Tuesday's his funeral procession. 68679 WARFARE - IRAQ Arnie Schoenbrun P0212 I can put out the fires so quick; You'll miss my magician's trick. It will come as no shock That while you're watching Iraq, You should keep an eye on my DICK. (Morris) 68680 WARFARE - IRAQ Jim Weaver Collection To Iraq's Kuwait invasion, We reacted with great indignation. But when we do the same, Instead of due blame, We expect all the world's approbation. 68681 WARFARE - IRAQ His dad Iran-Contra did hate; But now, WMD-gate! Are the weapons around That soon will be found, Or is Dubya a two-faced head of state? 68682 WARFARE - IRAQ Tiddy Over Iraq we'll drop an 'O' Bomb, (Orgasm bomb) Then the only thing from Saddam, That we'll likely hear, Aren't moans of good cheer, But whining about his sore palm. 68683 WARFARE - IRAQ Acronyms make words' meanings compound: "Air-raid Shelter for Saddam"--Profound! But let history show That the fool didn't know His A.S.S. from a hole in the ground! 68684 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Vassar Smith P9610 There once was a man named Hussein Who we knew was really insane. With bombs on his back, And germs in a sack, We ought to just blow up Iraq! 68685 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection What shall we do about Saddam? Who competes for the "worst" since old Adam. Do you think it's bad sex That makes him so vexed? Does anyone know a good Madam? 68686 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tutta Gioia Our troops found that low bastard Saddam; A truck'd slammed his ass on macadam, But some French doc's OK Sent their pal on his way. We should'a slit his throat while we had 'em. 68687 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Armand Singer P0307 Saddam in a letter, made plain He's willing to play Dubya's game. Inspect if you will For weapons that kill; You say but can't prove I'm insane. 68688 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Anon The Butcher of Baghdad did bite it, When looking up, half-undecided. Half choosing to stay Or run far away. He got a cigar just to light it. 68689 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tiddy Ogg When suddenly, BOOM, it went dark, And all of the house fell apart. The building a-rumbling And other stuff tumbling, A sudden end to a long start. 68690 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tiddy Ogg Like Osama, there ain't no damn proof, That Saddam was beneath the roof. In Afghanistan, They're still bombing, man, There's more bloodshed yet, that's the truth. 68691 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tiddy Ogg I saw how the crowds, they were dancing; A jubilant scene and entrancing. His pictures were trashed; His palace was crashed; Even if the attack was just glancing. 68692 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin "The game is now over," quoth one. "Don't ask me if war is much fun, Or who will succeed him, Or whether we need him Or where his supporters will run." 68693 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin I saw an old man with a shoe Bash a picture of old you-know-who, When up came a gent, Lifted skirts and was bent On the use of the pic for a loo! 68694 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin You see, there's a reason for doing That kind of thing, that is, shoeing The face of that man With sandal or hand; It's better that double voodooing. 68695 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin Like marriage, he could not annul it; Mishandled his sword and did dull it. He messed up and missed it; His doom he sure kissed it, When he bit off the big one, a bullet. 68696 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin After each attack Saddam Hussein Declares "I love the Tomahawk game. I'm really excited, Tourists are invited To the hope of the Etermal Flame." 68697 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9902 Clever spies captured Saddam Hussein And his WMD's. They're methane. (weapons mass destruction) He was caught in a cellar Feeding beans to some feller, Who can fart from a low-flying plane. 68698 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Don Moore P0309 "What was Clinton expecting to gain? My poor buildings," cried Saddam Hussein, "Lie in absolute ruin. And it's Slick Willy's doin'! Now I hope he is feeling my pain." 68699 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM William N. Nesbit P9610 In his hidey-hole, next to the quad, Poor Saddam Hussein asked his God To be captured at present, Since he feared an unpleasant Abundance of fleas Navidad. 68700 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Hugh Clary Because of another air raid, Saddam called for a Victory Parade. "Each and every explosion Prevents soil erosion; It's U.S. incoming foreign aid." 68701 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9902 And now that Saddam is in hand, They will capture that al Quaeda band Of thugs bent on terror, With hardly an error. A frontal assault is what's planned. 68702 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jeanie Bill can't wait to roll and rock; He's ready to dump on Iraq. He's eager to bomb And to fuck Saddam, Without even using his cock. 68703 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM MrMalo There was a dictator called Saddam Who didn't like Kurds and he had 'em Gassed like the Jews In nineeteen forty two, Like a proper U.S.-funded madman. 68704 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Lester Haines "U.N., won't you please stop harassin' All this chemical stuff I'm amassin'. Their help is essential To reach my potential As Saddam, the gassin' assassin!" 68705 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister Old Saddam is caught up at last; His brutal regime is now past. Found in a hole Like a small little mole, And like Cleo be given an Asp. 68706 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Mul "In construction, ground breaking is first," Said Saddam of HQ with lips pursed. But each US cruise missle Leaves land clean as a whistle, So in Iraq, it is just reversed. 68707 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9610 There's a bully who lives down the block; He'll invade you, and won't even knock. This madman who's Persian, Performs his own version Of Paul Simon's "I am Iraq". 68708 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister When Saddam sent troops to Kuwait, The havoc his men did create, Caused the Saudis to cry foul, And then throw in the towel. "Call the US to set these things straight." 68709 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tomer Shiran The Iraq situation grows tense, While the world waits in breathless suspense. Why has hostile Hussein Been allowed off his chain? A mad dog with a hole in the fence? 68710 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection Saddam said, "I keep on trying, My headquarters identifying. But a hole in the ground Is all I have found. Why do they keep those missles flying?" 68711 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9610 Now they highlite the crimes of Saddam And denounce him the ultimate bum. But forget not the hour, He was kept in power When the US and Kuwait he did numb. 68712 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Nawahl Razak Yesterday, on TV, it was sad; It's perplexed me much more than a tad; What can this portend When for hours on end, CNN was not broadcasting ads!? 68713 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Mike Some say Clinton attacked with no warning, But it's obvious something's aborning, When the President says Before going to bed, "We will sortie this out in the morning." 68714 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Mike The casualties make this unfunny; That buildings are levelled so cunning. The bombed battery site Leaves a bit of a fright, That they murdered that little pink bunny. (bunny is ubiquitous battery ad on TV 1998) 68715 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Mike At this time of the year all my bristle Goes away, as Noel I do whistle. So, Hussein I do wish You'll find love and warm kiss- es while standing beneath your new missle. 68716 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Mike Hussein, as it turned out, had hidden In places unsafe and unbidden; And pausing for plans, He looked for a chance To do what he could, but then didn't. 68717 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin He'd run for it, come the next morning; That is, he would go without warning; Though fox-like and sly, It seems he did die When blown apart in a night storming. 68718 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin Saddam Hussein, what a guy. To get paid, just send kids out to die. If you get shot before, You can't kill any more. Well, I guess claiments just have to lie. 68719 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tomer Shiran As we aimed all those surgical strikes, At the target of all our dislikes, We grew slowly aware That Saddam's facial hair Was the lamest since, well, the Third Reich's. 68720 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Travis Ruetinek Saddam once had sensitive skin And no hair on his chinny-chin-chin. But his lip was pubescent, A real fertile crescent, Where follicles quickly grew in. 68721 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister The dictator ruling Iraq Grew a moustache all shaggy and black. A little while later He lay in a crater, As vultures approached for a snack. 68722 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Pat Sajak "Dad's moustache exceeds any other," Cried young Uday to Qusay, his brother. It will always be there Because thick facial hair Is the one trait he shared with his mother. 68723 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Brad Simanek In order to set an example, Hussein was the right guy to trample. Now his bushy moustache And a bit of eyelash Are what's left for his DNA sample. 68724 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Bob Mader Next to Hitler's, it's not trimmed as well; More like Stalin's, as best I can tell. Lenin, too, might dispute Saddam's 'stache was a beaut. They can argue about it in Hell! 68725 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Brad Simanek Saddam cut a figure quite charming -- Stalin-like, but perhaps less alarming. His lip was hirsute, Which he thought made him cute. It's too bad that he wasn't disarming. 68726 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Joseph Moore Samson's strength was dependent on hair. Can Saddam Hussein's mustache compare? We could tell our troops: Wait! Spend a buck ninety-eight. You can rub out the bastard with Nair. 68727 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Michael Sheinbaum While Saddam grew his 'stache with no trouble, Not so lucky was Chucky, his double. Though Hussein in his wrath Threw Rogaine in the Baath, He could still hardly sprout more than stubble. 68728 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister Saddam, now most likely the late, Suffered one final, humbling fate: His moustache ditched his lip Like a rat from a ship, And was seen crawling south towards Kuwait. 68729 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Joseph Moore I offer this well thought prospectus On the scourge of old Homo Erectus; A beast so uncouth Since days of his youth, We're lucky Sadam finally left us. 68730 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM The Sailor P0306 Said Saddam as he entered his cave, "This hiding is not very brave. There is a bright side: As long as I hide, Oh Goody, I don't have to shave!" 68731 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Arnie Schoenbrun P0401 Saddam, a prince among shits, Giving the whole world shit-fits, With his brazen hoodwinking... What was God thinking When he made him from atomy bits? 68732 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tutta Gioia At it again, that goat's pizzle, That weasely scumbag of jizz'll Dodge, weave and mislead... What we desperately need Is a single, well-aimed, cruise-type missile. 68733 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tutta Gioia To one thing we can't get attuned: The sight of those kids all marooned In Saddam's regime... Their silent eyes scream And lay open your heart like a wound. 68734 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tutta Gioia If this government just had the nerve To do what they must, and not swerve, It would not be fun But we'd get the job done, And Saddam would get what he deserves. 68735 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Kaylin Pioneering in chemical science, Saddam flunks in treaty compliance. He'll surround his pavilions With helpless civilians, Then bravely proclaim his defiance! 68736 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister I think the truth is quite plain; They say we will punish Hussein. But in fact, we'll just test The newest and best Ways to kill and inflict the most pain. 68737 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM John Miller War's expensive, however it ends; You're in deep, dude! You might get the "bends"! So, Saddam, Shit fire! Relax, man; Retire To Tinseltown, where you've got friends! 68738 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Call me Sad Sack Saddam; I started my own Viet Nam. Only six years ago I said "Ayatolla ya so"? No that was Iraq; me, I ran! 68739 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection We don't tolerate son-of-a-bitches; The Saddams and the Milosevic's. They're petty dictators; We should air-mail some craters, And bomb them clean out of their britches. 68740 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Saddam won't reveal all the facts, As smoke plumes from the palace smoke stacks. If you expect to see Babyfood recipe, Stay upwind or die of anthrax. 68741 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9801 I don't think it's terribly funny That Muslims, both Shiite and Sunni, Seem quite unconcerned That their kids may get burned By anthrax, while Saddam gets money. 68742 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM John E Mayhood P9801 That camel'd squat down to be manned, By Sadam who'd grip with his hands. He'd pump till he's weary; Now his balls are not hairy, 'Cause of the abrasiveness of the sand. 68743 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Saddam is too brutal for words, But his threat has been reduced by two-thirds. Once he torched the Kuwaitis, From Tigris-Euphrates, But now he just hassles the Kurds. 68744 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister He's the foe of the Kurds and the Turks; The man's ruthless, he kills while he smirks. Then he rattles his sabres, Alarming his neighbors; The Mother of All Total Jerks. 68745 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister That statue in Baghdad's now rubble, But was it Saddam? That's the trouble. That nasty dictator Used impersonators, So was that thing him or a double? 68746 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tiddy Ogg Of course it was him; 'tweren't no ruse; Consider the bevy of clues: It's toppling was slow, (A two hour show!) And folks beat the thing with their shoes. 68747 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Travis Brasell That Saddam continues to gloat, Cock sure that he'll never be smote. The UN should raid While he's getting laid, They might get both him and his goat. 68748 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Frank I can just see him fucking that goat, With his takritty penis abloat. The sirens he'd hear, But stuck in his rear, He'll wish that he'd just blown a shoat. 68749 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tutta Gioia "In Iraq major theft runs apace," Said Saddam with regret on his face. "Headquarters is gone (It must be Iran) And they left a big hole in its place." 68750 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9610 April Glaspie, our gal in Iraq, Said to Saddam Hussein in the sack, "Can't you wait to get in?" He heard, "Kuwait you'll win," So he ordered his troops to attack. 68751 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Don Moore P9407 There once was a man from Baghdad; Saddam was his name - and he had A manic obsession; He wanted oppression And everyone thought he was bad! 68752 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM I am sure, good Sir or Madam, Our attacks will not bother Saddam. He will dote on the slaughter Of wife, son, and daughter, And generally not give a damn. 68753 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM John Miller Now our Middle East ways are insane, Between Arabs and Jews and no brain. It's got to be whacky Killing scads of Iraqi Just to punish one Saddam Hussein! 68754 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM That lunatic Saddam Hussein -- You can tell from his name he's insane; He's a Shiite, or turd; Hates the Sunnis and Kurds; In the ass, he is naught but a pain. 68755 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Undaunted by ramifications, Of threats by the United Nations, Saddam Hussein Is still a pain, And a danger to all the Kuwaitians 68756 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection Said Saddam Hussein, "Praise to Allah! My Air Defense place cost top dollah. Where it used to be found Is a hole in the ground. That Clinton, him one crazy fellah." 68757 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Arthur Deex P9610 Using skyrockets he couldn't buy, Sent by Oliver North on the sly, S. Hussein of Iraq, Risking U.N. attack, Celebrated the Fourth of July. 68758 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Cybergeezer Saddam is a son-of-a-bitch; They should find him face down in a ditch, With a stick up his ass Made of TNT mass, And his body all covered in pitch. 68759 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection There once was a man from Cape Horn Whose penis was tattered and torn. He gave it a twist, And not coming, he pissed; And that's how Saddam Hussein was born. 68760 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection Because he was feeling his oats, Iraq's dictator was losing the votes. They say he's insane Since they found his stain On the coats of the town billy goats. 68761 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tom Patton P9811 Hussein from Iraq, he has bluffed us; Got the whole world raising a ruckus. 'Cept Clinton the loner, Who stands with his boner, Praying for no more Saddam Interruptus! 68762 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection No lover of life ecological Could stomach a war biological. Sending anthrax in clouds Will put babies in shrouds, But not Saddam, that mind pathological. 68763 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM John E Mayhood P9801 Others have said, "Saddam sucks," But with the inspections in flux, He'll have the last laugh, Because Willy's staff, Made evidence filling few trucks. 68764 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Chris Papa So Saddam is still messin' about. He's an evil dictator devout. We'll enter Iraq, And get rid of this quack. It's time someone took Saddam out. 68765 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jayne Saving face must in S. Hussein's case As a motive has very high place. It elicits the query Since it's ugly and hairy, Is it really worth saving that face. 68766 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM A. N. Wilkins P9104 The aftermath soon will be seen With tyrants like Saddam Unseen, Reduced and erased, His shoes half-unlaced, And retied with his balls chained between. 68767 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin Some say he's here and not there; And others say, saved by a hair. But really, what mattered Was whether he's scattered Like dust blown aloft in the air. 68768 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin Perhaps, when you read between lines, Or see from the signs of the times, Or hear the winds blow, Hussein had to go, For doing the Devil's designs. 68769 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin I asked a commander from Texas, "Pray tell, how Saddam affects us?" He said, "What would you do? This Saddam has voodoo; We've got to bomb him or he'll hex us." 68770 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Dohpaz Said I, "What you're saying is silly. Your real motivation shows clearly. All this military toil Is an aid to cheap oil, To please some gun-toting hill-billy. 68771 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Dohpaz In his bunker he sits down and cowers, Well aware of superior powers. Saddam's only demand, Is not far out of hand; Just a quickie with Gennifer Flowers. 68772 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Jim Weaver Collection A meeting held of Saddam's doubles, Was held on one of Baghdad's rubbles. In an air-raid, stay calm; Saddam lost his right arm; I'm afraid this will add to your troubles! 68773 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Arthur Pattaffy Odai and Qusai...oh how sad; 'Twas known that those two sons were mad. And no tears are shed, Now that they're both dead. So what's left to do but bag dad! 68774 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Observer I'm sure that Saddam's not a-quake With fear; he's with some friendly sheikh; And for those pics Of his boys, that a fix, Like Hollywood film-makers make. 68775 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Tiddy Ogg Explosions compacting and lifting; The desert sands loosened and shifting. It looks like deep trouble Beneath all the rubble, If we figure it needs some more sifting. 68776 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin To look for some person's remains, I mean, that is, Saddam Hussein's, Which may have been thrown up Or otherwise blown up, And mixed into desert sand grains. 68777 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin It makes a guy wonder about The nuclear things not allowed In underground places, Assuming mere traces Of things that we haven't a doubt. 68778 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin These lead to explosions and booms Which raise up great cloud-like mushrooms, With particles showing As hot ash, and glowing Like Saturday Morning cartoons. 68779 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Matthew Montchalin It seems everyone picks on the Kurds. Saddam and his bunch are big nerds. Until this thing wanes, We should not send out planes. But at least send him four letter words. 68780 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Al Willis P9610 He's one of the crazy dictators; He's smart as two witless dumb-waiters. Saddam, the barn burner, Is just a slow learner. And now his land has some new craters. 68781 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Al Willis P9610 I'm afraid it is just as I feared. Saddam Hussein has appeared. Not at a tribunal Or at his own funeral, But hosting a talk show quite weird. 68782 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Timothy Torkildson His guests come from all walks of life -- The butcher, the baker, the fishwife. Do they have sex Or write out bad checks, He asks at the point of a knife. 68783 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Timothy Torkildson His sponsors have the demographic To prove he appeals to the Catholic. Also the Gypsy Whenever they're tipsy, And those who are stuck in slow traffic. 68784 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Timothy Torkildson But just between me and just you, I hear that his show's in the loo. The ratings anemic, Scripting's bulemic; He's already bombing there too. 68785 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Timothy Torkildson Dick Cheney said we are not lacking; We'll send Republican Guards packing. They'll just step aside; It'll be a free ride, For Saddam, a well deserved whacking. 68786 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Anon There's a lesson Saddam should be taught: By the Gulf War he shouldn't have fought, But he's back to provoking. This guy must be joking; We'll find out Hussein and who's not! 68787 WARFARE - IRAQ - SADDAM Larry Hollister There was a young sailor from Rome Who found the girls over the foam All acted the same In the sexual game, So he might just as well have stayed home. 68788 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Isaac Asimov That infamous sailor named Davey Regretted his time in the Navy, So he ate navy beans And shot submarines But they made him clean up all the gravy. 68789 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Neal Wilgus P8406 U is for Uniform, here All sorts of brass buttons appear; And when the Gyrene In his glory is seen, On the Cit it is pretty Severe. 68790 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 A young sailor who stopped at all ports, Got in trouble with girls of all sorts. So a new leaf he turned And his britches he burned. He now walks around in his shorts. 68791 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Albin Chaplin 3024-3006 Come all ye landlubber folks all And join with us seafarin' blokes all. The boatswain and coxswain Are posing with frocks on; There's fun to be had in the forecastle. 68792 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Peter Wilkins There once a seaman named Davey, Who permed up his pubic hairs wavey. But at top-side inspection, By Captain's direction, 'Twas crewcut to stay in the Navy. 68793 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Jim Weaver Collection X is eXcursionists rude, A wild-eyed, inquisitive brood; The badges they wear Would make Sousa despair, And they're not at all bashful with food. 68794 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 A mate with a bad case of trunk, Would hang from the side of his bunk. Squids filled him with rum, And sipped hookay-bum. He'd toss salad till they were drunk. 68795 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED H Whelchel There was an old sailor named Gibbs, Who told the most outrageous fibs. He once caught a whale Just by grabbing its tail; Hooking flying fish with flying jibs. 68796 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Warrick Elrod On the lottery, a friend won some money; He's a Marine and we all call him Gunny. He fought in the wars On foreign shores, Now his retirement gonna be sunny. 68797 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED As the Navy found young Seaman Graves To be one of those troublesome knaves, They discharged him one day, Authorities say, Since he spent all his time making Waves. 68798 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED A. N. Wilkins P8406 Z is for Zimmermann's band, The girls say its music is grand; For when it plays "Dearie" -- So love-sick and leery -- Each Midshipman squeezes a hand! 68799 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 Even now, with our speeds supersonic, And reliance on arms electronic, We're in awe of the crew Who hand-cranked the screw, When the Hunley sank the Housetonic. 68800 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Dr Limerick 03-24-01 W is for Wakes; poor John Paul Every month has a fresh funeral; When he's buried at last, This still may be asked: Is he the right corpse after all? 68801 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 The whole crew were fed up and jaded; The hopes of land sighting had faded. We all turned to port, And stuff of that sort, And shortly were all marinaded. 68802 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED G is the gruesome Gold-Brick, Whose face makes the midshipmen sick; She'd like to have Dates, But her eyes are not mates, And her waist, like her head, is too Thick. 68803 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 F is for Frenching a sport Indulged in far more than it ort; Over wall, or straight through The gate you skiddoo -- Then find yourself on the Report! 68804 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 K is for Kiss, a salute Not high in Official repute; But the fact that some choose it And frequently use it, No Midshipman girl can dispute. 68805 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 P is the full-dress Parade, With boys in brass buttons arrayed; What's meant though, I guess, By saying "full dress," Is the girls who are out on parade. 68806 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 N is the noble Navy, Our sole source of income; you see, Navy people must pay Whatever we say, So we whoop prices up to High G. 68807 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 He was ready and able and willing. He agreed to take the king's shilling. He put "X" on the line, He spent money on wine. The new life was better than tilling. 68808 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Arthur Pattaffy H is for Hazing, an art That Congress has caused to Depart; Nowadays, if you'd talk To a Plebe on the walk, Say "Please," with your hand on your heart. 68809 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 R is the rough Regulations That offer alluring temptations; The trouble lies here: Officers may appear Without waiting to get invitations! 68810 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED William O Stevens 1906 A sailor with lust undeterred, May have girls in each port, goes the word. A provocative move, One could only improve, With a port in each girl, softly furred. 68811 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Bob Giandomenico With barnacled tongue he would wank her, And deep-six his rusty old anchor. And like a good sailor, When through with Mikaeler, He'd scuttle the bitch and not thank her. 68812 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Travis Brasell While in the Navy we stopped in Piraeus, And the Brass all tried to warn us That Ouzo's vile stuff; More than one is enough; Only remember the Shore Patrol's Bus. 68813 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Saint A Catholic sailor named Davy, The fuckingest fool in the navy, Confessed to his sins With frequent wide grins, "O Father forgive me, peccavi." 68814 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED Armand E Singer 434 The whales they were blue, that is right, But it's not for those whales that I write. No, I mourn for that joker-- The last words that he spoke were "Why was I... not a smith... nor a wright?". 68815 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED He could have spent life on the road, Instead of the oceans he rode. Well, if he went to hell Then he went there pell-mell-- Hell always hath 'ho's to be rowed! 68816 WARFARE - NAVY - ENLISTED There was a young girl from Tahiti, Who seemed the penultimate sweetie, Until Admiral Dripp Sneaked her onto his ship, And she covered his hull with graffiti. 68817 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Cyber Geezer It's Admiral Bull Halsey's birthday, The man who let nothing dismay Him at Leyte Gulf, what a fray! The victory that's felt to this day. 68818 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Tutta Gioia Blimey, Admiral Nelson was hip, With that mistress as trim as his ship; Just the thought of her quiff And by Jove! he was stiff -- And it wasn't the cove's upper lip! (cove - bloke, chap) 68819 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Thomas A. Quinine P8406 Last Monday, a skipper named Keef, Ran his cruiser aground on a reef. Tomorrow he'll be A lieutenant (jg) And his Naval career will be brief! 68820 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS A naval commander from Troon Has a pink ass just like a baboon. And when he was steamain', He'd fill it with seamen, And sail away on the full moon. 68821 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Donald Britain Before she gave Nelson (Horatio) His urgently needed fellatio, She studied a chart Of his revalent part At a larger than 1 : 1 ratio. 68822 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Peter Wilkins Said Lord Nelson, "Oh for a boat! That I might still yet be afloat, Not standing here solemn On top of this column, While pigeons crap over my coat." 68823 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Richard Long Now Nelson was short of some parts, But he had won everyone's hearts. They made a collection; Got a good selection, And sent them off to him in carts. 68824 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Tony Burrell "Hardy! Now what's this I see? Are these assorted limbs meant for me?" "Aye, Captain, for you, But no one sent glue, So I guess you are still all at sea." 68825 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Tony Burrell He hopped on one leg he had left, Which had somewhat widened his cleft. When Nels droped a fart, The waves they did part, And left the French Fleet bereft. 68826 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Tony Burrell "Sacre Bleu, he's blown us apart With one great Nelsonion fart. With that sort of volume, They must give him a column So that London is safe from his art. 68827 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Tony Burrell An admiral, based in Seattle, Recounted his life with this prattle: "Like most sea-faring he-men, I've lost seamen and semen, In a naval or navel type battle." 68828 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Ed Potts P8503 A young navy captain named Gene Had skippered a big submarine. He had plunged to depths hairy But his plunge into Mary Was the deepest he ever had been. 68829 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Albin Chaplin 3024-0457 The navy wants "a few good men", To help out this stressed out captain. What he wants them to swab, Ain't the deck but his knob; He makes them take turns swabbing him. 68830 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS A gay old Swiss admiral would wail, While going down on young gobs by the rail. Though unskilled on high seas, He excelled on his knees, For the sucker would not ever fail. 68831 WARFARE - NAVY - OFFICERS Bob Giandomenico P0209 Charlie was the name of a marine; For some reason, he dipped his balls in cream. So then the ships cat Chased him out on the flat, Castrated him and licked the wound clean. 68832 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Milford For its civil defence, Saskatoon Raised a forty-man naval platoon. When they asked for a grant, They were told, "No you can't. Since your needs are, at best, picayune." 68833 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES J P Slugworthy 83b A submarine skipper, it's said, Dims his headlights while cruising the Med. And although it sound odd, On the USS Cod, The headlights are found in the head. 68834 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Arthur Deex P8406 Your friend should have joined the Navy To spend all his life out at sea, And play with the boats And hope that they float Back home, to come and see thee. 68835 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Paul Steele It's spring, with a tinselly moon: As the orchestra tootles its tune, We see the Marines And their combat machines Performing a 'pas de platoon'. 68836 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Mad Zeno There once was a grunt with a sore; Who screwed hundreds of women and more. And though the marine Was always obscene, He ne'er was rotten to the corps. 68837 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Anon A soft hearted lady named Gore Gave the G.I.'s relief from the war. But the anxious Marines Could not get in her jeans -- She was rotten, they said, to the corps. 68838 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Albin Chaplin 3024-0175 A lady whose named is forgotten Said her ass to Marines was verboten. But the G.I.'s, they vaunted, Got all that they wanted -- It was said to the Corps she was rotten. 68839 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Albin Chaplin 3024-0149 A notorious bitch of a whore, Would allow horny sailors to score. But employed every means, Of avoiding Marines -- She was rotten, they claimed, to the Corps. 68840 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES A jilted young lady, Eleanor Hated all marines forever more. Is it any wonder All marines then shunned her, Because she was rotten to the corps. 68841 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Tom Patton P0304 On the Gulf, the Iraqi top brass Keep watch on all warships that pass. They can tell, sure as shit, That a frigate's a Brit By the price-tag affixed to its ass. 68842 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Tony Davie Collection It was wartime with danger and tension When they met at the Navy convention; In the midst of the crowd The Marine stood, tall and proud. His erection then drew her attention. 68843 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Parker Waterman P0111 A clean-cut and straight-laced Marine Had a date with a whore from Racine. His pants were so tight When he kissed her goodnight, His demeanor was rendered obscene. 68844 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Neal Wilgus P8406 There once was a transvestite grunt, Who wore a dress out on the hunt. With lipstick and lace, He liked to give chase, But his comrades just thought him a cunt. 68845 WARFARE - NAVY/MARINES Anon With the sirens, we rushed helter-skelter To find a nearby air raid shelter. In winter or spring We'd sleep, dance and sing; 'Twas summer that caused us to swelter! 68846 WARFARE - REALITY Arthur Pattaffy There was a young GI so glum -- From Vietnam with medals he'd come. He received in the mail Both his arms in a pail. "It's a good place," he said, "to be from." 68847 WARFARE - REALITY Albin Chaplin 3024-2881 I've listened to new of the war, But now it is time for a whore. And after a fuck, Or a very long suck, I think I'll turn over and snore. 68848 WARFARE - REALITY Archie With satellite dishes I'm able To watch news of war at my stable, Around the damn clock, While blasting my cock Inside the wet cunt of mule Mable. 68849 WARFARE - REALITY Travis In battle the Japs rarely fled. Machine guns for them held no dread. Charging wave after wave, They proved they were brave, But most of them also were dead. 68850 WARFARE - REALITY A. N. Wilkins P9309 A draft would impose common sense On do-gooders' tough-guy pretense. That would be good 'Cause everyman should Learn how to be part of defense. 68851 WARFARE - REALITY Anon If everyman had to pay dues, By having to face draftee blues, Many would lose Their do-gooder views, By walking in battlefield shoes. 68852 WARFARE - REALITY Anon In all wars the cost is too great, But mankind just can't seem to wait, With full bombast blown To kill off his own, Then curse others for his sad fate. 68853 WARFARE - REALITY Chris Papa A youth's arm flew past at velocity Propelled by Cemtex's ferocity. IRA stands proud For bombing the crowd. Yet another cowardly atrocity. 68854 WARFARE - REALITY Kim There was an old man from Belgrade, Who did wonderful things with a spade. He built his own hovel, With only a shovel, But got it destroyed by grenade. 68855 WARFARE - REALITY Tim Ruddell For warmongers I don't give a fart. Those who bomb little kids have no heart. Bring on the reduction Of REAL mass destruction, And disarm the U.S. for a start. 68856 WARFARE - REALITY Edward Leer Disarm the U.S. you impart; The stench is a major brain fart. It's too bad your beak Is still able to speak. I would think of your silence as art. 68857 WARFARE - REALITY Goin2later I've marched against fighting before. I hate to see waste blood and gore. To you that adds fuel But lets have a duel -- We'll both win the sexual war. 68858 WARFARE - REALITY Archie Let's see; the scenario goes -- The gloves will come off with our clothes. Some grope, slap, and tickle; A hump bumping pickle. Orgasms, exhaustion, we doze. 68859 WARFARE - REALITY Goin2later I read with a mixture of tears And relief that I missed your young fears Of doodlebugs flying, And my neighbors dying, But I got 'Nam and Cold War years. 68860 WARFARE - REALITY Karen I wasn't quite sure that I would For I thought "they" might possibly could Drop a big nuke On some communist kook Because they just thought that they should. 68861 WARFARE - REALITY Karen I was torn, should I run or just die? Did we have any choice but to fry? And where could we go To avoid fallout snow? There seemed no real reason to try. 68862 WARFARE - REALITY Karen There's always some bad news or other That so far we've managed to weather. But this sex scandal stuff Or some Sadam like tough, Sends me right to the end of my tether. 68863 WARFARE - REALITY Karen There was an old general named Clyde Who fought in Vietnam with great pride. He said t'won't be long And there'll be no Viet Cong, After millions of G.I.'s have died. 68864 WARFARE - REALITY Albin Chaplin Five Oh Seven did not really feel That the hazards of warfare were real. The lesson you learn From the unit's wrong turn Is: "Don't put a blonde at the wheel!" 68865 WARFARE - REALITY The Sailor P0308 The 70's divided the masses, With Saturday Night Fever classes. Some came back from 'Nam Where they faced the small bomb, Shit-covered sticks, and nerve gasses. 68866 WARFARE - REALITY There was a young man of Seattle, Who brothers were killed in a battle; He feelingly said, "It's a pity they're dead, But I shall inherit their cattle." 68867 WARFARE - REALITY Lytell Book NonsenseP0109 The Bosnian killings appal, Yet NATO does nothing at all. It just sits on its ass, While it polishes brass, Not to fight, but to shine at the ball. 68868 WARFARE - REALITY Warrick Elrod The United States has a navy, Which sails an ocean that's wavy, Manned by sailors in blue, Who fight battles for you, While you're home, swimming in gravy. 68869 WARFARE - REALITY Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0401 There once was a soldier named Moore Who was traumatized badly, by war; In a battle now done, Where they say that we won, Although no one was keeping the score. 68870 WARFARE - REALITY Cap'n Bean P0302 On World War Two prolific be. From dawn to dawn prodigiously Let's limerick War Two Aware when we're through, No limericks after World War Three. 68871 WARFARE - REALITY Irving Superior P8901 When Francois left his sickly Viet whore, Uncle Sam rushed right in for a score. When Abe got the syph From a Lebanese quiff, Uncle Sam dropped his pants for some more. 68872 WARFARE - REALITY Albin Chaplin His stint in the military Was shockingly sanguinary. Children saw their last light When he came in the night; The garlanded Senator Kerrey. 68873 WARFARE - REALITY DC Dave While the rules of engagement ring true, They will limit just what you may do. So pay little heed In view of your need, To shoot him before he shoots you. 68874 WARFARE - REALITY The Sailor P0309 Uncle Sam sent my arse in harm's way; He conscripted it -- I had no say. But my arse survives And it mourns for the guys Whose brave arses got blown clean away. 68875 WARFARE - REALITY William N. Nesbit P9703 Those brave Poles who during the War saw The ghetto uprising in Warsaw And died in the fray Are Polacks today! Sic Gloria Transit and War's awe. 68876 WARFARE - REALITY Irving Superior P8909 With planes zooming down from the sky And machine guns the next ones to try, And there's always the stink As we crouch there and think How the days of our youth hurry by. 68877 WARFARE - REALITY Irving Superior P9607 Peacekeepers were built by the score; Waging peace was more frightful than war. Double talk, double think, And atomic war brink. We've arrived; it is 1984! 68878 WARFARE - REALITY Albin Chaplin Every Harry, Richard, and Tom, Believed we could win there, in 'Nam. But that bloody damn war Kept sucking in more, As fodder for bullet and bomb. 68879 WARFARE - REALITY Gifford Wherry "In the infantry more than a million Are fighting," declared Private Killian, "Who don't want to be brave, What all of us crave Is the chance to become a civilian." 68880 WARFARE - REALITY A. N. Wilkins P8406 Said the general, "I just adore The pathos engendered by war. The shrieks of the dying; The body parts flying; It begs for a speedy encore. 68881 WARFARE - REALITY John Miller You may think this war is insanity; That bombing for peace is profanity. But as I live and breathe, You have got to believe, We are waging this war for humanity! 68882 WARFARE - REALITY A week before Armistice Day A poet who war did portray With gut-wrenching pity, In verse racked and gritty, Was killed, on a field, faraway... (Wilfred Owen 1893-1918) 68883 WARFARE - REALITY TuttaGioia Our doctrine in case of a war Is to nuke 'em with MX's galore. Then a short intermission For an act of contrition Before we have World War Four. 68884 WARFARE - REALITY Arthur Deex P8406 Today, no limerick will be writ, For evil has robbed the mind of wit. When a thousand fold die, In the blink of an eye, There are no words that aptly fit. 68885 WARFARE - TERRORISM Lims For Year - 01 There once was a turbaned Afghani, Who dressed much the same as my Granny. He bragged of his power. He'd threaten and glower, And tell us they'd beat us. My fanny! 68886 WARFARE - TERRORISM Irish We are from the great USA; We are going bombing today. It's annihilation With justification. Look out! Missles are on the way! 68887 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tony Burrell When Afghans find freedoms beguile 'em, They hope that some hijackers pile 'em Aboard a jet vessel Whose pilot won't wrestle, But fly to the West for Asylum! 68888 WARFARE - TERRORISM Prof M-G The FBI panic mode starts, Because of a model dog's farts. But strangest -- most bit: They thought it would shit, And swabs took from its hinder parts. 68889 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tiddy Ogg Whenever the al Qaida flee, The last member out's sure to be Assigned to make sure That the decoys and lures Are left out for the U.S. to see. 68890 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-15-01 According to General Powell Since al Qaida has thrown in the towel, No terrorists can Be in Afghanistan: Be watching for his disavowal. 68891 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-15-01 A moody assassin is Hassin; For more that two months Hassin hasn't. At the Can Can Cafe, In a brutal display, He kicked every ass in, assassin. (has Hassin) 68892 WARFARE - TERRORISM Irving Superior P8407 Muslim pirates perfected the raid, Holding captives till ransom was paid. Ayatollah's grim crews In the Lebanese stews, Today carry on the grim trade. 68893 WARFARE - TERRORISM A. N. Wilkins P8804 Hooligans loose in Belfast, With pipe bombs that cause such a blast. Aimed at the police, One lad, slow to release, Found the bomb that he held was his last. 68894 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tony Burrell A coke sniffing dork from Atlanta Was grabbing a ride with old Santa, Had a bomb in his shoe, And I swear that it's true, That the fire was put out with Fanta. 68895 WARFARE - TERRORISM To eliminate terror Islamic, We'll send them two presents atomic, With Medina the first Where the mushroom will burst, Then Mecca, for loss astronomic. 68896 WARFARE - TERRORISM A bomb-sniffing dog, "Best in Class," Once sniffed, at the airport, a lass; The bomb squad and S.W.A.T Team probed the girls twat, And exploded all night in her ass. 68897 WARFARE - TERRORISM Travis Brasell There once was a sheik -- an Afghani, Whose likeness to sheep was uncanny. He caught all the eyes Of the Taliban guys, As they waited in line for his fanny. 68898 WARFARE - TERRORISM Irish Our reality is getting too stark And Western Civ's crawling towards dark. You can only say, "Cripes!" When bombs made of pipes Blow up in Centennial Park! (during 1996 Summer Olympics) 68899 WARFARE - TERRORISM CB Actions taken that he must arrange, Giant ripples that some see as strange; Motivation is good, And the needs understood, Everyone paying heed to the change. 68900 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel Ash P0110 Don't worry, Osama's a knave Who's damned to die deep in a cave, With all of his cronies, While picking the bonies Of that old dead whore friend of Dave's. 68901 WARFARE - TERRORISM Travis Brasell We're engaged in a frightening race To get busy and colonize space, E'er one or more arabs Using viral scarabs May wipe all the life from Earth's face. 68902 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick In the end all the Earth will rejoice, Millions singing with one mighty voice; Torch of victory lit, Justice served as befit, Gentle giant had no other choice. 68903 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel Ash P0110 The foul deed they've done to our land, Will bring to their sad nomad band, More sorrow, I feel, And hope we can steel Ourselves, to deal with fisted hand. 68904 WARFARE - TERRORISM Chris Papa When Afghans find freedoms beguile 'em, They hope that some hijackers pile 'em Aboard a jet vessel Whose pilot won't wrestle, And flee to the West for asylum! 68905 WARFARE - TERRORISM Prof M-G When flying I don't have a fear, Since we're flying "naked" this year. No bombs in your shoe, Or plastic knives too, And nowhere to put any gear. 68906 WARFARE - TERRORISM Barbara Cunningham P0203 The airline is named "Naked Air"; We are friendly and fly everywhere. From the States to Bombay, All I wore was a tray, And not a thing to declare. 68907 WARFARE - TERRORISM Barbara Cunningham P0203 What religion you are no one knows? It's hard to detect without clothes. No crosses or stars, Or cross your heart bra's, Now let's just see how it goes? 68908 WARFARE - TERRORISM Barbara Cunningham P0203 So joking you better not say, There's a guy with a knife here today. Or a man with long beard Had better be feared, It's a certain they'll whisk you away. 68909 WARFARE - TERRORISM Barbara Cunningham P0203 So have a safe trip when you fly, And YOU pick the time when you die. When you conquer your fear, You'll feel heaven is here, And kiss all your worries good-bye. 68910 WARFARE - TERRORISM Barbara Cunningham P0203 Giant rage that is hard to contain, Lashing out he must fight to restrain; Proper thought is applied, And with right on his side, He embarks on a vengence campaign. 68911 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel Ash P0110 Stop fanatics from having some fun? Though something that I've never done, They'd have met a quick end, If I or some friend Had been there and packin' a gun. 68912 WARFARE - TERRORISM Unfortunate word that: crusade. But it was instictively made. So what if some find It offensive; remind Them "Jihad" is offensive a shade. 68913 WARFARE - TERRORISM Peter Wilkins The bombers are more than just sick; I'd hang them all up by their pricks. And for their foul murders, I'd sharpen some girders, And bleed them to death with some nicks. 68914 WARFARE - TERRORISM Aytollah, Coca cola, and Rickety-Rax, We carry out Iran's kamakazi attacks! With all we stand And explode on demand, You could say we're Ayatollah Koh-maniacs! 68915 WARFARE - TERRORISM Ann Gasser P8712 In limericks, it's hard to express How I feel about the WTC mess. Yet, despite my grief, It is my belief Life goes on; I'll give it my best. 68916 WARFARE - TERRORISM Christopher Anton Being half-Arab, I used to be proud, Shared my heritage often and loud. But Bin Laden's a dastard, A Satan-led bastard, Who is better off wearing a shroud. 68917 WARFARE - TERRORISM Christopher Anton It is hard to take up the pen, But please, dear friends, do it again. Laden's goal's to destroy All things we enjoy. We can't let that lunatic win. 68918 WARFARE - TERRORISM Christopher Anton It's easier now from the sky, "Assisting" those others to die. Avoiding the thrill Of making the kill While looking the lad in the eye. 68919 WARFARE - TERRORISM John Miller Lady terrorists, trying to trick us, Are now wearing explosive knickers. I believe that's absurd And I think that I've heard It's an excuse for strip searching trippers. 68920 WARFARE - TERRORISM AA A temblor abetted the trauma Of New Yorker's ongoing drama. A great mystery! Would you please tell me, How you pulled that one off, dear Osama? 68921 WARFARE - TERRORISM John Miller I've oft heard of that "hidden land," Place where Osama's turbaned band Enjoys a cave warm Free from the swarm Of bombs from U.S, Air Command. 68922 WARFARE - TERRORISM Chris Papa One cheer for the Northern Alliance, Though Taliban showed little defiance. Not socially skilled, Look how many they killed; Compassion is not rocket science. 68923 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tony Burrell Weapons of mass destruction Is just convenient expression To justify what We aver it is not; A war of naked agression. 68924 WARFARE - TERRORISM David Martin Oh, let me just give you the word; You're simply a dumb right-wing nerd. Your lims are a fake; You're mad and a flake. Now I'll at your bird, flip the bird. 68925 WARFARE - TERRORISM Archie If one can tell day from the night, And can see what is black and is white, He should not in his rhyme Make fun of mass crime, Or invoke the tired "Left-versus-Right". 68926 WARFARE - TERRORISM David Martin Old Dante knew life was just comic And Death is at times philanthropic. To laugh at mass crime, In prose or in rhyme, Reduces the stress anatomic. 68927 WARFARE - TERRORISM Archie If you think he's a man of the left, Of sense you're completely bereft. That he should control A party of proles, Amounts to an out and out theft. 68928 WARFARE - TERRORISM David Martin Opinions are held by us each, But David is no one to preach. Since he's claiming the right To send me his shite, While denying me freedom of speech. 68929 WARFARE - TERRORISM Travis Brasell "Our task is to sort through the lies," Said Donne, "and find the truth that applies." Then make our demand With dollar in hand, While hoping for HOT freedom fries!" 68930 WARFARE - TERRORISM Travis Brasell Dave, should he run out of luck, Might pick the wrong body to fuck. A corpse with the smile Of a hijacker vile, And then even Dave would upchuck. 68931 WARFARE - TERRORISM Souls of terrorists and their allies Are in for a horrendous surprise: They'll awake -- and then dwell In eternity's hell, And not in, as they hoped, paradise. 68932 WARFARE - TERRORISM William Nesbit P0110 Far away I can hear a KABOOM! Mushroom clouds in the distance doth loom. Great squirts of gas Shooting out of their ass. And their balls will hang from the moon. 68933 WARFARE - TERRORISM Buck Saddam and Osama Bin Laden Attempted to take us a hard un. When faced with defeat, They took to the street, And hid in a Syrian garden. 68934 WARFARE - TERRORISM Aussie Owl You may say that they're on the run, But in Arab minds they have won. Their homes they have flitted, Yet death they've outwitted, Despite Georges, father and son. 68935 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tiddy Ogg A Taliban man named Abdul Was flying a plane from Kabul. After crashing thought, well, Now I'm cooking in hell. All that paradise talk was just bull. 68936 WARFARE - TERRORISM Snaggletooth These virgins are Satan in drag; You're poking his ass like a fag. And your sexual gig Was never that big, Just barely enough for a shag. 68937 WARFARE - TERRORISM Snaggletooth Crushed concrete, red stained twisted steel. These senseless "acts" beyond unreal. All peoples must now unite. Respond but do not incite. To higher powers please appeal. 68938 WARFARE - TERRORISM David J Stein P0110 You all wish the Afghans no ill; Moslems in general, less still. How careful you aim In this aerial game; Bombs still do not know who to kill. 68939 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tony Burrell To the hackers and spammers and pederasts, Infesting the Web, now add terrorists; Into sites pornographic, They encode their own traffic, Instructions for killing and bomb blasts. 68940 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 02-06-01 Hey Merkins, you better take fright; My warriors come in the night. It's no use to hunker Down there in your bunker; I smuggled in pure anthracite. 68941 WARFARE - TERRORISM I know that prediction is chancey, But I, without access to fancy Intelligence briefs, Or dropping at eaves, Knew terrorists, from reading Tom Clancy. (Warned about suicide bomber, hijackers, etc.) 68942 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 05-17-02 Propagandizing with our best tools, We've dredged up some Victorian jewels. Aren't wars on terrorism New Colonialism? Well, at least we'll bring both roads and schools. 68943 WARFARE - TERRORISM Loren Fitzhugh P0212 September eleventh appalling, Twin towers first burning, then falling; Screams heard o'er the land, So united we stand, Galling threat, our resolve now forestalling. 68944 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel D Ash P0111 Graceful buildings so tall are now gone, But not freedom's torch and pylon; Wan faces uplifted, Our attitudes shifted, Thoughts dwelling upon Avalon. 68945 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel D Ash P0111 Armageddon instilled in each heart, Legions gather to strike at the start; Our rampart defended, The mundane transcended, Each patriot plays a grand part. 68946 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel D Ash P0111 Two towers of strength in our minds, Great purpose and oneness one finds; Togetherness soaring, Our battle cry roaring, This red, white, and blue issue binds. 68947 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel D Ash P0111 Through acts of unspeakable gloom The Trade Center site is a tomb; A mound of debris So horrific to see, Where thousands were sent to their doom. 68948 WARFARE - TERRORISM Cap'n Bean P0111 The history books will now tell Of the day the World Trade Center fell; September eleven Sent thousands to heaven, But those bastards, for sure, went to hell. 68949 WARFARE - TERRORISM Cap'n Bean P0111 The FBI expert concludes That the plastique found packed in Reid's shoes, Could have blown a big hole, Causing loss of control And a mid-ocean crash with no clues. 68950 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-28-01 I'd like it if someone explained Why Reid sat near the back of the plane. Is this where the tail Was at max risk to fail By a hole adding torque, stress, and strain. 68951 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-28-01 Remember flight 587? On Long Island, it crashed burned and deafened -- Did the tail come loose Because of the shoes Of some zealot with ticket to heaven. 68952 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-28-01 A terrorist tried something new -- An explosive device in his shoe. This modified brogan Caused diversion to Logan When they caught him with match to the fuse. 68953 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-22-01 Right now, people's nerves are quite taut, And I'll bet his subduction was not At all kind and gentle, But unsentimental. As out of him, folks beat the snot. 68954 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-22-01 I imagine they all stood in line For their turn to subdue this Einstein. Some cheerful chat while They stood in the aisle And pummeled him, one at a time. 68955 WARFARE - TERRORISM Dr Limerick 12-22-01 Though a terrorist act may befall, I spend every day at the mall. Said Dubya, "Don't stop The urge to go shop!" So I'm answering my country's call. 68956 WARFARE - TERRORISM Observer The Taliban's beset with woes, But well then, that's how a war goes. They're feeling the heat, And now in retreat, They've chose the wrong foes to oppose. 68957 WARFARE - TERRORISM Observer John Walker Lindh's not bin Laden, Even though his chances were rotten. So let us be candid; He's a mere Talibandit, Who easily will be forgotten. 68958 WARFARE - TERRORISM Limerick Savant The Taliban's now on the run; Perhaps they're sorry they begun. Bring them to justice, But all the truth just is Atrocities can't be undone. 68959 WARFARE - TERRORISM Tony Burrell A fanatic whose name was Bahram Was arrested in Dar es Salaam. In a bag, the police Were collecting each piece Of his partner, who'd carried the bomb. 68960 WARFARE - TERRORISM Cybergeezer Some Hindus, disciples of Charon, Scheme with Muslims to turn our world barren. They're so EVIL, you see... I'm so glad that we Wouldn't stoop to use nukes, germs, or sarin... 68961 WARFARE - TERRORISM John Miller To end all the terror Islamic, We'll send them two presents atomic. With Medina the first Where the mushroom will burst; Then Mecca for loss astronomic. 68962 WARFARE - TERRORISM Hugh Clary Sleeping giant with dreams full of love, Peaceful slumber midst land of the dove; Shaken out of deep sleep, A sad pause, time to weep, Rising anger with cause from above. 68963 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel Ash P0110 With purpose and strength, wide awake, He begins all the steps he must take; Down a road long and hard, Even in his backyard, With the fate of the world now at stake. 68964 WARFARE - TERRORISM Joel Ash P0110 Since airport screening suffered a lax lapse Suicide pilots caused twin tower collapse Now steel melt should be heeded While low line design's needed Skyscraper era's remembered with taps. 68965 WARFARE - TERRORISM Esther Koch P0110 Our Trade Center fell with a roar, In unspeakable carnage and gore, At a horrible cost To those crippled and lost; We'll remember this day evermore. 68966 WARFARE - TERRORISM Cap'n Bean P0110 FBI documents hidden away, Probably won't, in the end, help McVeigh. But the document clerk Will soon be out of work For the blunder he found and displayed. 68967 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Dr Limerick 05-11-01 The cowardly killer, McVeigh, Has sniveled and begged for a stay. Said the court, "That's just crap 'n' It ain't gonna happen; Get ready, you're goin' away. 68968 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Observer Said McVeigh, as he cheerfully waved To the crowd, "You are sick and depraved, So, through being rotten, It's clear that I've gotten The attention that I've always craved." 68969 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH John Miller The cowardly killer, McVeigh, With luck, has held justice at bay. But the grim reaper waits, Patiently, at the gates Of Hell, to award Tim his pay! 68970 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Observer An eye for an eye, to each his kind; On and on until we are blind. They'll all hold a grudge; Should be God who's the judge. That wisdom they never will find. 68971 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Mastersk8 McVeigh is just digging the perks Of a federal pen with the works, Watching his tale on cable While we're still unable To kill 'cause of FBI jerks. 68972 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Cyberwizard Most Americans think it just fine That the death toll's now one sixty nine. Though sordid and ugly, They give their thanks smugly, To a God who says "Vengence is mine!" 68973 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Mastersk8 He says that his type will hit harder, If he should become a new martyr. The scary part is I'm buying that biz; You'd hope that our folks would be smarter. 68974 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Cyberwizard I find it exceedingly odd When the squeamish all mew, "Spare the rod!" See the criminal brain Is society's drain; The People shoul get rid of the clod! 68975 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Tom Accousti Seems the criminal get all the rights And the victims are left to their plights. Tim broke the laws; (McVeigh) Let society's jaws Close down and snuff out his lights. 68976 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Tom Accousti Tim's point is: Is conspiracy thought And political underground fraught With misplaced papers, And FBI capers; Make you wonder who else has been bought. 68977 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Tom Accousti If Kevorkian is put away His cell mate should be Tim McVeigh. When the doc prevails, He'll clean out the jails, And true justice will then have its day. 68978 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Tom Patton P9708 We saw the All American Way, Demonstrated by young Tim McVey. But if might was right, Why get so up tight, And blow that poor sucker away? 68979 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Dr Limerick Though we differ about execution, As a decent crime-fighting solution, You really can't mean That an act so obscene, Deserves less than max retribution. 68980 WARFARE - TERRORISM - MCVEIGH Dr Limerick There once was a man in Afghanistan, A guest of the rulers called "Taliban." This man in a turban Destroyed buildings urban, And said, "Let's kill every American." 68981 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA M Fotheringham "The jihad will finally find birth," He surmised with undisguised mirth. But all that he triggered Were Yanks re-invigored, To sweep his kind off of the Earth. 68982 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA M Fotheringham So, if I were a guy named Osama, I think I'd be crying for "Mama!" For what has begun Will never be done, 'Til Osama has suffered some trauma. 68983 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA M Fotheringham Yes, If I were Osama bin Laden, I think that my pants would be sodden. For regardless of wealth, When your facing a Stealth, The hole that you hide in, you'll rot in. 68984 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA M Fotheringham We're bombing a big stretch of sand That once was Bin Laden's home land. It cannot be wrong Although he's long gone, We'll make sure the desert does understand. 68985 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell Osama, that Al Queda pain, Lies somewhere in the Hindu Kush Plain. He broke a few yolks For the Afghan folks And was ultimate ULTRAMONTANE. 68986 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Chris Papa Now the sheik huddles down in his cave; He knows soon it will be his deep grave. When he screams in stark fear, Even Allah won't hear "Why 'd I attack the home of the brave." 68987 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tom Patton P0201 The cretin, ex of Saudi Will soon be unable to see O'er his shoulder. Perchance He will need some new pants, With his ass where his neck used to be. 68988 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA We're certain to see justice meted; Of that fact, almost all have conceeded. "Bin Laden," says Bush, "Will fall on his tush. I'm resolved to see him de-feeted!" 68989 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Observer There once was a man named Bin Laden, Who caused us to sadden and madden, Aladdin he's not, Magic lamp he ain't got, We will get him and hearts will then gladden. 68990 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Joel Ash P0110 Bin Laden and all brought to trial, Their crimes filled with evil and guile; Vile acts demand death, Reconcile ending breath, Contemplation that brings forth a smile. 68991 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Joel Ash P0110 Afghanistan is a small enclave, Intent on Bin Laden to save. Though if he's still there, They don't know just where, But they're sure he will always behave. 68992 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Chris Papa Old Bin Laden is such a great bore, I wish they would give him what for. Just blow up his cave But all his bits save, So he could come back as Dave's whore. 68993 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Marlene Lewis America's resolve is firm As we make old Osama squirm. And isn't he brave Hiding out in a cave, Like a little old cowardly worm. 68994 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Observer This Bin Laden turd is the one Whose balls should be shot with a gun. He's screwed up my life -- Help! Get me a knife -- 'Cause I'm going to leave him with none! 68995 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Marlene Lewis The man has escaped us, by thunder! Our noses Bin Laden went under! With a pair of dark shades, A dashiki and braids Disguised as ostevie bin wonder! 68996 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA In Islam the burqa's respected; For women its use is expected. Old Ossy Bin L, He wears it as well, So he can escape undetected. 68997 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell They've surrounded our friendly Omar, So he will not get very far. But then there's a gust, A hole in the dust, He's gone by his bike and sidecar. 68998 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell A crafty old fag named Osama Could change a young boy to a bomma. He'd quote from the Koran And never go whoran, Yet secretly fucked his own momma. 68999 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA O'Sammy's name don't be besmirchin' Or 'round here he'll always be lurchin', When he's but a ghost; I hope that's the most He gets of those multiple virgins. 69000 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Cyber Wizard Some say Bin Laden is gay Or even, let him have his day. But I say punishment's due With interest too, No Corcoran for you, sans beard OJ. 69001 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA There was once this wimp named Bin Laden, Who sought immortal pardon, For neither women nor goat, Nor buildings he smote, Could possibly give him a hard'n. 69002 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Got a message today through my modem From a friend in L.A., and I quote him: "When Osama's been taken, We'll wrap him in bacon, Then hack, with a box knife, his scrotum." 69003 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Osama Bin Laden is glum; His prick is the size of his thumb. Since late last December He's played with his member, And still he is waiting to come! 69004 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Osama bin Laden's been found! At a place where Big Gulps have been downed. They noticed a mug With a face not so smug -- Perhaps you have seen him around. 69005 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA I hear the perverted Osama, When fucking the cunt of his mama, Was belittled by her Cause he came in a blur, And his dick was the size of a comma. 69006 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA The mother of Slimey bin Laden Bore numerous kids for jihadin', And from giving such birth To the scum of the earth, Had a pussy the size of a garden. 69007 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Whatever the mess that he's in, Be it even one caused by his kin, It's fair to assume To believe and presume That old Dubya blames Bin Laden. 69008 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Phil T "Osama," said Bush, "would of prospered If he would have took what I offered; But now a big blast Just blew his ass past My ranch here in Texas near Crawford." 69009 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Travis Brasell It would be a terrible shame, If Bin Laden wasn't to blame, If in the event, He proved innocent; Oh Hell! Let's bomb him just the same. 69010 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell Osama's been Laden with dirty thought; Pretends it's a holy war he's fought. Truth is, in his teens, He tried American jeans, And in the zipper his pecker got caught. 69011 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Gunjan Saraf Up to his ass in large boulders, Bin Laden's head's still on his shoulders. So he bought his way out; Left his troops in a rout; We will dance on his corpse when it molders. 69012 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tomer Shiran Now the courts have discovered a gaffe Over who'll try bin Laden; his staff, The U.S. or Afghans, But the Mossad has plans For giving each country a half. 69013 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Dennis M Hammes As a youth, Osama bin Laden Got caught with a goat he was proddin'; The mullah said, "Mister! You're fuckin' your sister!" And his father just stood there a-noddin'. 69014 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Osama bin Ladin, they say Has managed to get clean away. But Musharraf's analysis Says he's needing dialysis -- His wooden kidney, I pray. 69015 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA A man called bin Laden is heard To say, "That I'm dead is absurd. You've forgotten my name, But still play the game. I say you've not heard my last word." 69016 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Anon Great Allah has made a decree; Bin Laden demise we shall see. Being shot by his son With his very own gun, Prime time Saturday night on TV. 69017 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell Osama bin Laden was thrilled When The Towers his Islamites drilled, But it seems he forgot, In the carnage he wrought, The abundance of Muslims he killed. 69018 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Bin Laden's a son of a bitch; Let's shoot him and watch as he twitch- es while hung by his balls, Then dragged through the halls As women get ready to pitch... 69019 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA ...Their berkas at him as they dance Bare faced, while looking askance At his balls so teeny, Microscopic wienie, And ankles now holding his pants. 69020 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Hi Ossie, it's Saddam Hussein. That Dubya is being a pain. He'll kick my poor ass So how 'bout I pass My weapons to you. Send a plane. 69021 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg There's plenty of old DC3's, With pilots who'll do as you please. Drop Blair in the shit, And drop them on Brits; Turn the brat yellow as cheese. 69022 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg The Merkin defence won't detect The plane; stupid Blair won't suspect. The plane's mission means Goodbye Milton Keynes... It should have a stunning effect. 69023 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg The Dubya gave this news update: "That feller we all love to hate That gol' durned Osama, We'll catch him with drama! We'll go back to that lucky hole and wait!" 69024 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Jeanie Osama! Osama Bin Laden! You wanted to see us downtrodden. Desire now has risen To see you in prison, Where Bubba can stick his stiff rod in. 69025 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA John Miller Not Wanted now: Dead Or Alive! Osama's now been neutralized. Our troops are all packed To head for Iraq, So Osama can plan the reprise. 69026 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Dr Limerick They say that Osama bin Laden As a child, was spoiled quite rotten. In the U.S. of A. There are many who say, "The same for his corpse, when we've caught him!" 69027 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Dr Limerick Some high-ranking American said, They'd almost got bin Laden's head In a noose. Said that man, "He's in Afghanistan, Or some other country, or dead." 69028 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg Osama's the latest of kooks To tell everyone he has nukes; It's good terror-fication Because verification Depends on our Keystone Kops spooks. 69029 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Dr Limerick 11-11-01 There once was a man named Osama Who suffered a serious trauma, When his father said, "Son, I screw camels for fun, And you really resemble your mama." 69030 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Roy Berkeley There once was a downtown New York, With towers like teeth of a fork. Bin Laden may pray, But we will make him pay: We will catch him and make him eat pork! 69031 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0111 Said Ossie, "The outlook is bleak, So out of my cave I did sneak. Took burkha from spouse, Snuck out like a mouse, Without so much as a squeak! 69032 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Observer A rag-headed faggot from Saudi Arabia got a bit rowdy, So we've banded together To darken his weather, And change it from Sunni to cloudy. 69033 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Hugh Clary A shrink at Guantanamo Bay Did convert to the Taliban way; Said; if you ask I will tell That I'm feeling quite swell. When Usama gets here I`ll be gay 69034 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Old Osama's now laughing his ass Off, 'cause the Merkin top brass With Dubya, all hunker In an underground bunker, And finish his work, they're so crass. 69035 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg There's Rumsfeld, for one I can mention, Now breaking Geneva's convention, Our prisoners right. Ossie's sure stirred the shite, Far further than was his intention. 69036 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg There's Hindu and Muslim and Jew, All trying each other to screw. And what's Dubya's plan? Bomb Iraq or Iran, And maybe bomb North Korea too. 69037 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tiddy Ogg "Osama," said Sam, "Is a demon. If I had him, I'd make him drink semen And Old Yeller there And me (we're a pair) Would run his ass right up a tree, man!" 69038 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA John Miller Oh Joe, you're compounding your sins; Watch out for Osama's great Djinns. They'll stake out your house Like a cat with a mouse, Then catch you and break both your shins! 69039 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA There now lives a big millionaire Who sponsors terror in the air. My question is: why Such an affluent guy Would stop feasting long enough to care. 69040 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Phil T There was a young Afghan, and Asian, One of the Moslem persuasion, And he said, "How come I am in Cuba's sun, When you guys did the invasion?" 69041 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell "You Yanks really do make me smile; You say you'll put us on trial. You made all the fuss. It was you that bombed us, And you missed bin Laden by a mile. 69042 WARFARE - TERRORISM - OSAMA Tony Burrell "I like men of the sea," said Miss Violet. "They have fine points, the way I compile it. For example, the Mate Is a fucker first rate, And the Captain, he knows how to pile it." 69043 WARFARE - WOMEN Albin Chaplin 3024-3020 The Citadel's gender code glitches: Rewards male cadet if he snitches. Demote the top lassie, Who found his sauce sassy, And wipe off her shoes on his britches. 69044 WARFARE - WOMEN Prof M-G There was a young lady named Leedy Who disliked the army, indeedy. She sampled the major But this man did enrage her, And she said that his colonel was seedy. 69045 WARFARE - WOMEN Albin Chaplin 3024-2159 After WWII this caused some hoots; Now it's lost on all but us old coots. The insult was clear Only in yesteryear, "I see your mother wears combat boots." 69046 WARFARE - WOMEN Loren Fitzhugh P0301 Regardless, if France is afraid To join in the Baghdad parade, I hereby declare That I will not dare Cease fucking my buxom French maid! 69047 WARFARE - WOMEN Travis Brasell The french sure know how to retreat, As does Marie-Claudine tout suite. She's happy to find Me standing behind, To give her a taste of my meat. 69048 WARFARE - WOMEN Tiddy Ogg A tough army instructor from Butte Was informing a new girl recruit: "At short-arm inspection, No blushing complexion -- If it jumps up before you, salute!" 69049 WARFARE - WOMEN Armand E Singer 373 Each time that a grunt gropes a dame, His chain of command get the blame, With claims that it shows There're just not gung-hos In teaching respect towards a dame. 69050 WARFARE - WOMEN Anon However, it's too much to hope When generals by generals are groped, That those who just blame Those high in the chain, Will focus on Slick Willie's gropes. 69051 WARFARE - WOMEN Anon Those same folks had called it a reach, When Congressmen said, "Let's impeach!" Apparently they Must think it's okay, When gals are impaled by the Chief. 69052 WARFARE - WOMEN Anon To GYNARCHY'S rule I would warm, Since A-bombs would no longer swarm. But in instance rare, If war's to declare, 'Twould take a new hairpulling form. 69053 WARFARE - WOMEN Chris Papa The tale may be told at this distance (Long suppressed, at her parents' insistence) Of a girl in the Maquis And a soldier in khaki -- Who called her his "piece de resistance". 69054 WARFARE - WOMEN John E Mayhood WAC Major Mary Jones, drunk on beer, Awoke next day and shed a tear. Despite her boy friend's urgin', She was technically a virgin But she broke the army rule, "protect your rear" 69055 WARFARE - WOMEN Parker Waterman P0203 An American lady marine, As a patriot is very keen. She has pretty blue eyes, And lovely white thighs, And a curly red bush in between. 69056 WARFARE - WOMEN Arnie Schoenbrun P0303 "I am just," moaned a girl from Racine, "A perpetual motion machine. I can't help it. I must. For I service the lust Of a sex-starved young U.S. Marine." 69057 WARFARE - WOMEN Isaac Asimov She was asked by the sarge in the mess tent Just what the tattoo on her ass meant. "You'll see it," she smiled And it made him go wild, "When I sue you for sexual harassment!" 69058 WARFARE - WOMEN Michael Rohaly Just how personal should we all get, In our asking this female war vet. Tell us where she was shot, We've not heard of that spot, If the bullet is still lodged in her, yet. 69059 WARFARE - WOMEN Bob Birch P9811