05/28/2004


What a queer world we live in, in truth,
Where Age tries to simulate youth,
While those "under age"
Have a terrible rage
To appear to be older forsooth!

52426 PHILOS  Laurence Perrine  P8509



Is it folly or ego or rhyme
That leads us to quarrel with Time?
Age says, "To be sure,
I am wiser than you're";
Says youth, "You're more timid than I'm."

52427 PHILOS  Laurence Perrine  P8509



"I declare," cried an old man, "it's truth,
When young, I was wild and uncouth,
But when I engage
With the failures of age,
I yearn for the follies of youth."

52428 PHILOS  Laurence Perrine  P8509



There was a faith healer from Deal,
Who said, "Although pain isn't real,
If I sit on a pin,
And it punctures my skin,
I dislike what I fancy I feel."

52429 PHILOS  Langford Reed



There once was a learned guru,
Who found he had nothing to do,
So he sat on a tack
And thought into and back
And out and beyond, and clear through.

52430 PHILOS  John Ciardi



A philosopher said this will pass,
Like the pain from a kick in the ass.
And it won't matter much
If we're Russian or Dutch,
Or a hobo who sleeps on the grass.

52431 PHILOS  Warrick Elrod



Technology's way of enhancing
Philosophy's means of advancing:
A lens to zoom in
On the head of a pin,
To count how many angels are dancing.

52432 PHILOS  Peter Wilkins



So what is my ideal, you ask?
Well, most people fulfill that task.
Something I can hold,
Sufficient to behold
Au naturale, and not a mask.

52433 PHILOS



A philosopher from the Ukraine
Told his concubines "Never again!
I seek the sublime
Not in women and wine,
But through exercise of my brain."

52434 PHILOS



Why do dogs lick their own peckers,
And why do gay boys wear Mum's knickers?
Philosophy's cruel,
Makes thinking a tool,
When God made the brain to sop liquors.

52435 PHILOS



An oriental scholar named Kim
Had the strangest thing happen to him.
He was clapping one hand
To make his rod stand,
When his palm-tree turned into a quim.

52436 PHILOS  Neal Wilgus  P8311



A cynic says, "Now that we know
Life's a futile, inconsequent flow,
And there's really no knowing
The way it is going,
I am going to let myself go."

52437 PHILOS  Thomas Thorneley



Philosophical questions excite us -
Is twinkle tits having mastitis?
Your pretense of arcane
Is but yammer inane;
Don't you dogs ever get laryngitis?

52438 PHILOS



We live in a world that bewilders;
Inventors for death get our guilders;
For Society shuns
Intellectual ones.
Those who work to destroy are called builders.

52439 PHILOS  Albin Chaplin  3024-2446



Determinists say that the Will
Is, in point of initiative, Nil.
If we say--We are free?
They cry--Fiddle-de-dee
Yet they hold us responsible still.

52440 PHILOS  T. Thorneley



When talking of life and the reaper,
Or Des Cartes's evil demon, the creaper
In limerick's or prose
Everyone knows,
Us philosophers, we do it deeper.

52441 PHILOS



There was a young man of Cadiz,
Who inferred that life is what it is;
For he had early learnt,
If it were what it weren't,
It could not be what which it is.

52442 PHILOS  J. Strachey



I suppose I could try if I chose,
But the question is: "Can I suppose
I could choose what I chose
If I chose?" I suppose
If I chose to.  But nobody knows.

52443 PHILOS  E.F.C.



There was an old person from France,
Who said, "Free will?  Not a chance!
For our physical worth
Is pre-programmed at birth,
And our choices are made in advance."

52444 PHILOS  Richard Long



I have labored for long in confusion,
Can free will be just an illusion?
If each choice we make,
We are destined to take,
It it fate I should draw this conclusion?

52445 PHILOS  Richard Long



I supposee I could try if I chose.
But the question is: "Can I suppose
I could choose what I chose if
I chose?" I suppose if
I chose to.  But nobody knows.

52446 PHILOS  E F C



I have labored for long in confusion;
Can free will be just an illusion?
If each choice we make,
We are destined to take,
Is it fate I should draw this conclusion.

52447 PHILOS  Richard Long



A little known fact although true
About the great sage Lao Tzu,
Is that when questioned how
One attained the great Tao,
He replied and in English, "Fuck you!"

52448 PHILOS  Forbidden Limericks P8802



If no Pain, how judge we of Pleasure?
If no Work, Where's the solace of Leisure?
What's White, if no Black?
What's Wealth, if no Lack?
If no Loss, how our Gain could we measure?

52449 PHILOS  William Bliss



In this din of come-froms and go-toings,
Is existence itself worth pursuing?
It's really quite freeing
To be called Human Beings;
Please note: we're not called Human Doings.

52450 PHILOS  Steve Holst



He announced proudly, "I'm on the brink
Of an epiphany scored in ink.
It has just hit me, WHAM,
That I know that I AM,
But that doesn't mean that I need think."

52451 PHILOS  Loren Fitzhugh  P0308



But cheer yourselves up, my good friends;
Though it's true that the search never ends,
We may each in our day,
Have our personal say,
And feel free to ignore current trends.

52452 PHILOS  L S Sprigge



Immortality, a toy people cry for;
On their knees, dispute, even lie for.
And were they allowed,
Would surely be proud
To eternally apply for, even die for.

52453 PHILOS  Ystap



The TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH is elusive;
Is philosophy merely delusive?
What seems rubbish to you
May be for me true,
Which leaves everything inconclusive.

52454 PHILOS  E O Parrot



The moon, it doth wax and doth wane,
Reminding us all life is vain.
Whatever our course,
We veer from the Source
Of all that is simple and plain.

52455 PHILOS  Timothy Torkildson



The theorists all worked in a huddle
To give, beyond hope of rebuttal,
Axiomatic precision
To nix indecision:
The law of the Excluded Muddle.

52456 PHILOS  Dr Limerick



I'm laying here thinking 'bout sex.
My thoughts have become quite complex.
Is it something learned,
Are our instincts spurned,
Or is it all really reflex?

52457 PHILOS  Marlene Lewis



There was a young man from Toledo,
Who was cursed with excessive libido.
To fuck, to screw,
And to fornicate, too,
Were the three major points of his credo.

52458 PHILOS  L0353



Religious, agnostic or heathen,
I wonder if when I stop breathin'
My body will seep
Some spirit to keep,
Or if my whole self will be seethin'.

52459 PHILOS



"If," moaned the adherent of self,
"I'm my first value, they I'm on the shelf.
If I must love the highest
To be objectively pious,
It follows that I'll be screwing myself."

52460 PHILOS  Wendy McElroy  P8211



Men's actions can fill one with tears,
And despair for the forthcoming years.
What a wonderful place
Were the whole human race
On vacation for ten thousand years.

52461 PHILOS  Warrick Elrod



There was am old chap who said; "Well,
I think my gout's giving me hell,
But until one can find
Which is Matter, which Mind,
How the hell is a fellow to tell?

52462 PHILOS  W Stewart



In college young lads are convening
And answers to questions are gleaning.
But there's one thing I fear --
Though the answer is clear,
Does the question itself have a meaning?

52463 PHILOS  Albin Chaplin  3024-2519



The Life-Force, afflicted with doubt,
As to what it was bringing about,
Cried, "Alas, I am blind,
But I'm making a Mind,
Which may possibly figure it out."

52464 PHILOS  Thomas Thorneley



It's all down to Mind over Matter,"
I said as I strove to get at her.
"Just think existential;
Conclusion, eventual:
Is if you don't mind, it don't matter."

52465 PHILOS  Tiddy Ogg



There's a sensitive man in Tom's River,
Whom Minsky's causes to quiver.
The aesthetic vibration
Bring soulful elation,
And also is good for the liver.

52466 PHILOS  Anon  L1589



This question comes not from duress,
But such truths, it is well to assess.
"The whole's more than the parts,"
Is how one theory starts.
What if though, it's not more but less?

52467 PHILOS  Loren Fitzhugh  P0308



So I believe nothing at all,
Not e'en that the earth's a big ball.
So I sit here and type
This meaningless tripe,
Knowing that it won't leave these four walls.

52468 PHILOS  Tiddy Ogg



Not one of you people exist;
You're fainter than clouds in a mist.
So I'll talk to mysel'
In this warm padded cell --
It's so comfortable here, round the twist.

52469 PHILOS  Tiddy Ogg



There's no Archie, no Pete, that is plain;
No Karen, no Marlene, no Jane.
No Tutta, no Ogni,
No Ericka, no me!
I'm a figment of my own brain.

52470 PHILOS  Tiddy Ogg



A scholar Sir Mordecai Ross
Found the answers to life in a gloss.
The lacuna that foiled
All the labor he'd toiled,
Was the questions were soiled with a toss.

52471 PHILOS



Ad announces "Manipulate Fate"
But I'll categorically state:
Though you put your mind to it,
You really can't do it;
None can trash pre-ordained karma freight.

52472 PHILOS  Esther Koch



A philosopher, finding a stone,
Posed the question: How far was it thrown?
Though he couldn't decide,
He deduced it implied,
He existed and wasn't alone.

52473 PHILOS  Prof M-G



There once was a person of Chiswick,
Who said, "I despise metaphysic.
Oxford may feel
That the real is ideal,
But it certainly isn't in Chiswick.

52474 PHILOS  J M Ross



That nothing exists cannot be,
For if nothing existed, you see,
'Twould be nothing no more,
And there's nothing so sure.
(But it's nothing that's bothering me.)

52475 PHILOS  Peter Wilkins



The truth of all this, does seem plain,
Is that philosophy would be in vain,
If its aim were a view
So objectively true,
It would not be discarded again.

52476 PHILOS  L S Sprigge



Material equals the parts,
Atoms and such, for a start.
But organization
Is the formal relation,
Like the shape, the pattern, or art.

52477 PHILOS



There was a young man who said "Damn!
It appears my whole life is a sham.
My outward depiction
Is merely a fiction,
Not really the man that I am.

52478 PHILOS  Richard Long



There was a young man who said, "Damn!
It occurs to me that I am
A creature that moves
In predestinate grooves;
Not a bus, nor a train, but a tram."

52479 PHILOS  M. E. Hare



If secrets of life you beseech,
I've discovered the answer to each;
Though you're blessed with dexterity,
An itches' severity
Is higher the farther from reach.

52480 PHILOS  G Watson



In thought of ethics and reason
Of religion, approved of, or pagan,
Belief is the core,
There's no proof of more,
So I'll wait till proof is in season.

52481 PHILOS



There's a Chinese philosopher, Chan,
Who explained how religions began:
"Like neighbor downstair
Who await, unaware,
Second shoe from a one-legged man."

52482 PHILOS  Thomas A. Quinine  P8302



One's quest for warm hearts and affection,
Can lead in so many directions.
And eager romancers,
Say love is the answer,
But sex raises pretty good questions.

52483 PHILOS



It's awfully late; I can't sleep.
Been thinking philosophies deep;
About yang and yin
And the wages of sin,
And sowing what I want to reap.

52484 PHILOS  Marlene Lewis



To philosophers trying to sleep,
Distracted by mysteries deep --
Count the seraphim
On the head of a pin;
Much profounder than just counting sheep.

52485 PHILOS  Dr Limerick



A skeptic I'm called, 'cause I doubt
The existance of what's talked about.
Not just the rules
But the gods and the tools
From which all these commandments sprout.

52486 PHILOS



Man's life on this Earth is all blotches,
As more and more projects he botches.
Since man started his climb
From the primordial slime,
It appears that he's slipped a few notches.

52487 PHILOS  Albin Chaplin  3024-2455



A Solipsist with triplets said, "Though
No one else can exist, if it's so,
Why I went through so much
To bring up my clutch
In my fancy, I really don't know."

52488 PHILOS  Lupellus



A solipsist aired his contention
To peers at a recent convention.
He cried, "It's quite clear
That you're really not here,
But you bastards just don't pay attention."

52489 PHILOS  Graham Lester



There was an old Sophist, whose soul
Felt an urge towards the Infinite Whole.
He said, "It is grand
That the soul would expand
While the body subsists on the dole."

52490 PHILOS  Thomas Thorneley  (Bibby)



"If a tree falls when no one's around,
Is it true it does not make a sound?"
"Yes it does, (with disdain)
Just where is your brain?
Do you hail from some stupid hick town?"

52491 PHILOS  Al Willis  P9711



An insensitive student named Glass
Once flunked his philosophy class
When they asked him where of
Was the source of all love,
He said, "Three inches north of the ass."

52492 PHILOS  Bob Giandomenico  P8905



Thrown up on the shore from the sea,
The starfish lay looking at me.
It watched as I pondered
Its fate, and I wondered
What it's like to swim off and be free?

52493 PHILOS  Ystap



Don't think is will fall to your lot
To get what you like; it will not;
But if you're heroic,
And follow the Stoic,
You'll fancy you'll like what you've got.

52494 PHILOS  Leslie Johnson



Said a Stoic, tormented by gout,
"There are times when I'm tempted to doubt
Our pose about pain,
And disposed to maintain
It is something we're better without."

52495 PHILOS  Thomas Thorneley



Maria was known to be clever
With Weltschmerz and Angst, but she never
Could quite get the hang
Of the old Sturm und Drang,
No matter how hard she evdeavored.

52496 PHILOS  Paul M. Hoffman



We greet the third Christian millennium,
Powered by Prozac and Pentium.
Good, evil, truth, lies,
For supremacy vies,
And by turns, each enjoys some momentium.

52497 PHILOS  Dr Limerick



A philosophy don in Cadiz
Gave his students a difficult quiz.
"If nothing is true,
And we see things askew,
How can anyone tell me what is?"

52498 PHILOS  Warrick Elrod



Opportunity knocks at the door.
It knocks just once and no more.
But temptation, unclean,
On the doorbell does lean,
And the bell seems to ring evermore.

52499 PHILOS  Al Willis



There once wasn't a rhymer named Ned
Who was a was not, so he said.
In fact he insisted
He never existed,
Except inside some poor fool's head.

52500 PHILOS  Brandy Brandon  P9503



There's a time machine inside your mind,
To this time and space not confined;
Return to the past,
Destinations are vast,
Or fast forward to see what you find.

52501 PHILOS  Joel D Ash



Re-experience moments you prized,
The delights of your life scrutinized;
Scenic beauty recaptured,
Again your enraptured,
In your time machine all this reprised.

52502 PHILOS  Joel D Ash



Full control of your life with your brain,
See things that no longer remain;
Events can be changed,
Some results rearranged,
You can be a young child one again.

52503 PHILOS  Joel D Ash



Plan a trip to before you were born;
See the Earth on the very first morn;
No borders for nations,
No thought limitations,
Imagine the perfect sojourn.

52504 PHILOS  Joel D Ash



Why not create a past life or two?
There is nothing your mind cannot do.
Dream up some dreams,
Got to any extremes,
Climb a mountain peak near Katmandu.

52505 PHILOS  Joel D Ash



On the trips to the future take care,
You may not like what you see there;
Be aware if you venture;
I don't want your censure,
The world will be different -- beware!

52506 PHILOS  Joel D Ash



The future -- a source of trepidation,
But provokes a sense of facination.
The road I am on
Goes hither and yon
Without any fixed destination.

52507 PHILOS  Azul



A philo prof's cognitive tools:
"Reason's for unreasonable fools;
Logic's got no appeal,
Since what is, isn't real;
And it's certain uncertainty rules."

52508 PHILOS  John Sandler  P9112



No streaking through fields filled with burrs;
Beware of the puss with no purrs.
Only foolish bazoos
Stand up in canoes;
No squatting while wearing your spurs.

52509 PHILOS - ADVICE



Aging humorist, Wellington Frye,
Misanthropically biting but spry,
When warned that he'd rue it,
Just scoffed, "Nothing to it.
I'll continue to come through as wry."

52510 PHILOS - ADVICE  Loren Fitzhugh  P0310



During travels, I once met a man
Who told me that he had a plan
To make tensions ease
And ensure world peace,
If everyone adopted his stand.

52511 PHILOS - ADVICE  Puff Adder



He said, "Society should be agrarian
And we all should become vegetarian."
I ain't had much school
But I'm nobody's fool;
I think I'll just stay Presbyterian.

52512 PHILOS - ADVICE  Puff Adder



The apocalypse nothing to fear,
For the end of the world is not near;
Many changes no doubt,
As new ideas sprout,
And the limits of man disappears.

52513 PHILOS - ADVICE  Joel D Ash  P0009



This truth's offered to all for a start.
We speak straight from a pure humble heart.
As we worship we're free.
When we cease to agree,
We'll first backbite, then slander, then part.

52514 PHILOS - ADVICE  Loren C Fitzhugh  P0110



Some advise, but I've oft wondered why,
To be careful in all things you try.
"Don't smoke, don't make bets,
Don't have casual sex,
Don't live just in case you might die."

52515 PHILOS - ADVICE  Mike Dale



The trick in response to life's riddle:
Simply choose not too much nor too little!
For some might make sport;
That's the long and the short.
If a man, be the man in the middle.

52516 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jim Weaver Collection



Television does rot the brain;
Friendships are an awful pain;
Work is stress.
More is less.
Best to do nothing -- again. (yawn)

52517 PHILOS - ADVICE  Lynn Mostafa



True confession is good for the soul.
Is it ever honest and whole?
If you know yourself well,
You won't ever tell,
Lest the whole be reduced to a hole.

52518 PHILOS - ADVICE  Laurence Perrine  P9306



Confucious, that Chinese sage,
Whose words were once all the rage,
Took his own advice
Not once but twice,
And to himself, he's now engaged.

52519 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jim Weaver Collection



There isn't a shadow of doubt,
We're all of us ON THE WAY OUT,
From old age or ambition
Or excessive coition --
So drink up before you are nowt.
(excessive coition doesn't exist - McW)
52520 PHILOS - ADVICE  E O Parrot



One can't always head up the class;
Some men will lose out, some surpass.
If by chance you lose face,
Take defeat with some grace;
It is better than losing your ass.

52521 PHILOS - ADVICE  Albin Chaplin  3024-1994



A cynical sage with a kink,
Said, "Between thought and deed there's a link.
When I think what I thought,
I don't do as I ought,
So it's best to do nought, and not think."

52522 PHILOS - ADVICE  Hassall Pitman



Remember when you are bemusing,
And daily decisions confusing,
That for life existential,
The thing that's essential
Is never the choice, but the choosing.

52523 PHILOS - ADVICE  Cyril Hughes



Sexologists constantly preach
That between sex and love is a reach;
But there's the odd fact
That sex as an act
Is focused on filling the breach.

52524 PHILOS - ADVICE  Norm Storer  P9603



Now I'm old.  All my songs have been sung.
And worse yet, my springs are now sprung.
Could I go around twice,
I would heed the advice,
Of all Realtors, "Get lots while you're young."

52525 PHILOS - ADVICE  Loren Fitzhugh  P9912



For ages I have heard it said,
That men are too easily lead.
But Man's like a horse:
Once given his course,
He'll gallop when given his head.

52526 PHILOS - ADVICE  SFA



"Well done, gal," I say with a grin,
Too soon though, a fella will win
A place in the game,
Of life: whence he came,
Is where he'll ever try to get in.

52527 PHILOS - ADVICE



The reincarnated Res, I,
Back from my travels decry:
Don't sweat the petty things,
Don't pet the sweaty things,
And leave the rest in the sty.

52528 PHILOS - ADVICE  Res Ipsa



With a conscience we're able to see
Just how bad we're permitted to be.
At the same time it's true
That what's wicked for you
Mightn't be half so wicked for me.

52529 PHILOS - ADVICE  Limeratomy - Euwer  P8708



A hitch-hiker shouldn't succumb
To offers of peppermint gum:
An edict this isn't,
With threat of imprison't,
But merely a crude rule of thumb.

52530 PHILOS - ADVICE



A famous philosoppher, Occam
(To upset his readers and shock 'em),
Wrote, "The very best way
To keep women at bay,
Is spread 'em out flat and stiff cock 'em!"

52531 PHILOS - ADVICE  Armand E Singer  407



Philosophers say and repeat
That life's a shit sandwich, complete;
And it's gospel, I guess,
The more bread we possess,
The less shit we'll be having to eat.

52532 PHILOS - ADVICE



Oh don't eat it dear, that won't do;
'Round here we just flush down the loo.
Sewer workers, I've heard,
Get paid time and a turd,
But I wouldn't do it, would you?

52533 PHILOS - ADVICE



Oh yeah sure, they say life is the top!
Have a dance and a waltz and a bop.
A sandwich of shit?
And that?  That is it?
What you say is that life is a plop!

52534 PHILOS - ADVICE



I'm in bed.  There's a really good show.
But my eyes won't stay open.  Oh no!
In the a.m., it's one.
I awake; my show's done.
Just like life, the end I can't know.

52535 PHILOS - ADVICE  Andrea Dietrich



Who knows what the future may hold?
Dark seas you must cross and be bold.
If it fucks up, okay.
If it doesn't Wey Hey!
Have a laugh, pull some birds, now you're told.

52536 PHILOS - ADVICE



You can call out the sheriff and cop,
Have the posses ride hard till they drop;
Man's a son-of-a-bitch
With a murderous itch,
All the scratching on earth will not stop.

52537 PHILOS - ADVICE  Warrick Elrod



Do you think meditations on Buddha
Go better with beer or with Gouda.
And with peace and eclat,
When I fancy a chat,
Should I phone my Fadder or Muddah?

52538 PHILOS - ADVICE



To procrastinate steals all your time,
Caution those who believe it's a crime.
Yet, it's often agreed
That more hurry's less speed;
Not much reason, a whole lotta rhyme!

52539 PHILOS - ADVICE  Anon



Must one really have something to say?
I do this for pleasure and play.
Why be rigid and stiff?
Who cares, what's the diff?
Don't just think black and white, ponder gray.

52540 PHILOS - ADVICE



In Lent, the kids are complaining:
No candy on which to be training.
Then an easter Choc spree
Makes them sick -- which to me
Proves no good ever comes from abstaining.

52541 PHILOS - ADVICE  Prof M-G  TP9802



Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
Be able to look back and say,
"I surely had fun
And got a lot done."
Do not regret your life away.

52542 PHILOS - ADVICE



By friends that you keep you are guaged;
Do not over words be enraged,
And avoid as a rule
A dispute with a fool,
Lest you find he is likewise engaged.

52543 PHILOS - ADVICE  Albin Chaplin  3024-2586



If philosophy teaches one thing,
It's that people should do their own thing.
If you run out of gas,
Forget that young lass,
And don't get your ass in a sling.

52544 PHILOS - ADVICE  Al Willis  TP9807



My friend, do not fret, you'll not find
The answers those seek, who are blind.
The sages all natter
'Bout the start of all matter.
That arrangement had not you in mind.

52545 PHILOS - ADVICE



My mind has not ever lacked learning
'Bout mysteries I know lots concerning.
But I learned very late
Learning's ultimate fate...
In the end 'scapes wisdom, still spurning.

52546 PHILOS - ADVICE



Here's a query posed by Jake McFee,
"Is it possible for one to be
Hyperactive and slothful,
Forgiving and wrathful,
Shifty, shiftless, concomitantly?"

52547 PHILOS - ADVICE  Loren Fitzhugh  P0208



Here common sense takes quite a beating,
And logic's a victim of cheating;
The pudding, not kiddin',
Is not where it's hidden,
The testing must lie in the EATING.

52548 PHILOS - ADVICE  Norm Storer  P9410



What a painful reality, for sure;
You have to stop going with her --
This fact must be stated:
Reality's over-rated!
Fantasy is much better, dear sir!

52549 PHILOS - ADVICE



A philosopher stood to proclaim:
"Not to make your own mark, is a shame.
Were it mind, or physique,
Everyone is 'unique.'
So, to differ, you need to be 'same.'"

52550 PHILOS - ADVICE  Graig Gigol  P0205



I can't say who's right or who's wrong,
And I don't want to join or belong.
Since reason can show
That we truely don't know;
Till we do, can't we all get along?

52551 PHILOS - ADVICE



All our problems, the Stoics enlighten us,
Are the upshot of too much uptightness.
Let's stay placid, their pitch is,
Through life's high-points and hitches.
Don't let worldly things flatter or frighten us!

52552 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jim Weaver Collection



Said an erudite sinologue, "How
Shall I try to describe to you, Tao?
It is come, it is go,
It is yes, it is no,
Yet it's neither -- you understand now?"

52553 PHILOS - ADVICE  R. J. P. Hewison



The experts in life are named They;
All truth is found in what They say.
I hope that one day
They will go away,
But damn, just how long will they stay?

52554 PHILOS - ADVICE  Travis Brasell



My whole life, They've been my guide;
They make the path where I stride.
Each step is subjected
By what They directed;
Just once They should let my steps slide.

52555 PHILOS - ADVICE  Travis Brasell



You know that They are after you;
There's nothing They will let you do.
They will come along
To tell you you're wrong.
You know what They say is all true.

52556 PHILOS - ADVICE  Travis Brasell



I wonder where They learned it all?
Do you think They ever will fall
And not know a thing?
They should have a fling;
What They need is to have a ball!

52557 PHILOS - ADVICE  Travis Brasell



I'll make this a wonderful day;
I'll do thing in my own damn way.
Though experts They be,
I'm gonna be me;
No more will I care when They say!

52558 PHILOS - ADVICE  Travis Brasell



If your success at first is denied,
Destroy all evidence that you tried.
May be conclusion
Came with confusion,
Attendant upon brain being fried.

52559 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Who hesitates is probably right;
You'd avoid precipitous fight,
If with poker group
(And her is the scoop!)
Never do clever card tricks, you wight!

52560 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



While you may be alone for success,
Everyone sees you make a big mess,
And you seem alone
As long as you drone,
But slightest mistakae they address.

52561 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Why is it the harder the butter,
The softer the bread for my cutter?
Just as in the breach,
If itch beyond reach,
Grows intense, makes my eyelids flutter!

52562 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



To steal from one is plagarism,
Nicholai Lobachevskyism,
But steal from many,
Ideas any,
That we regard through research prism.

52563 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Says the cynic when he's spinning,
"Two wrongs are only the beginning."
Two wrongs make not right fair,
But four rights go nowhere;
That is where you meet yourself, grinning.

52564 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Perhaps you'd like with eagles to soar,
But find yourself here on the floor.
Just remember this,
If great heights you miss,
No weasel's sucked in jet engine roar.

52565 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Just as no good deed's unpunished,
One of life's truths is unvarnished:
After you need it most,
Experience plays host;
You see how halo get tarnished.

52566 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Here's a Newtonian witticism,
From "correctness" empiricism:
For every action,
There is some faction --
Equal and opposite criticism.

52567 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



Our gene pool has problems enow,
But the greatest is, I here trow,
That in such a late day,
We've no lifeguard to say,
"You there, out of the gene pool, NOW!"

52568 PHILOS - ADVICE  Daniel Ford



I'm one always giving advice --
Some good, some not very nice --
But know that I speak
With tongue in cheek --
'Cause I've tried it all once or twice!

52569 PHILOS - ADVICE  Kaylin



The world keeps on turning -- that's true.
It takes us along, me and you.
Though sometimes we're glad
And sometimes we're sad,
It won't change whatever we do.

52570 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



Maybe that today it seems right
To voice our opinion -- we might
Find out we were wrong
And chose a bad song,
Thus find ourselves in a big plight.

52571 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



Perhaps it ain't always real good,
To speak of the things that we should
Keep locked in our head
Or take them to bed
Or hide them out in some dark wood.

52572 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



'Cause always opinions do hurt
Or make us sound slightly absurd,
To people who think
Our ideas do stink,
Accusing us to stir up dirt.

52573 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



I just kicked myself off a group,
A really fine and funny troop,
'Cause my chattering mouth
Spit it out, North and South,
My peace-loving politics poop.

52574 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



Whenever someone comes along
And warbles a discordant song,
Seems only all right
If a veteran might
Point out to them where they were wrong.

52575 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jeanie



The great swarming Internet masses
Are made up of several classes.
There's Left and Right Wing
And I'm sure of one thing:
There's some that can clearly be asses.

52576 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jeanie



And yesterday, 'twas one of those
With a clear cut intent to oppose,
Who tangled with you.
Eva, I tell you true --
Your post received many bravos.

52577 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jeanie



Your nerves are a little bit frayed,
But what you classify as a "tirade",
From here where I sit
It seem to befit --
All you did was call a spade a spade.

52578 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jeanie



Your announcement has made me quite sad
And several others feel bad.
It won't be the same place
Without your smiling face.
Don't leave because of a nomad.

52579 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jeanie



Take a break, if you must, but be sure
To return when you've taken the cure.
'Tis with love and concern
That I bid you return --
And that isn't just bovine manure!

52580 PHILOS - ADVICE  Jeanie



Well, Jeanie, it's days now I think,
That I haven't slept a wee wink.
I'm cold and I'm sick;
My head's like a brick.
My sanity seems on the brink.

52581 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



I wonder why 'twas such a shock
When the trolling one tried hard to rock
The boat we were rowing,
While a strong wind was blowing.
I've been taken now to the dry dock.

52582 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



This old velssel needs a repair;
A bit of fresh paint here and there.
New flag and new name,
But no second flame
With ladies like Mrs Contrair.

52583 PHILOS - ADVICE  Eva Bekker



Gone tomorrow, but yet here today,
And at most, it's not that long a stay.
Although dreams we fulfill,
We might keep in mind still
It's about "those we meet 'long the way."

52584 PHILOS - ADVICE  Loren Fitzhugh  P0304



The Bigot, the Slave, and the Fool:
None guided by Reason's bright rule...
The Fool 'cause he cannot,
The Slave 'cause he dare not,
The Bigot just will not, that ghoul.

52585 PHILOS - ADVICE  Tutta Gioia



If Velcro were used for a zipper,
And Baptists believed in Yom Kippur,
And all of the time
We all spoke in rhyme,
The world would be way much more hipper.

52586 PHILOS - ADVICE  H Whelchel



Life you must live to the limit;
Every day, every hour, every minute.
But in retrospect,
It's fun to reflect
How you thought you were important in it.

52587 PHILOS - ADVICE  Frode S. Stringer



Near the start of our life is pubescence,
Which begins the nest stage -- adolescence.
Then quickly senescence
Creates obsolescence --
And that, of man's life, is the essence.

52588 PHILOS - ADVICE  Laurence Perrine  P8503



All the things of each natural kind, then,
Have an essence their form has assigned them.
What this function proclaims
Is their natural aims:
What they'd do should no circumstance bind them.

52589 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



There's one claim, then, that calls for no gripe:
Things all do what's the rule for their Type.
Or, if not, then they would,
If they possibly could,
Just as soon as the time for it's ripe.

52590 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



Thus bodies, when hurled into space,
Seek return to their "natural place";
And the fox, faced with rabbit,
Will give in to the habit
Of eating it after the chase.

52591 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



Well, some will insist that's just trite,
And not worth its own paper to write.
But despite all our biases,
It's too bad -- that's all science is,
If the Aristotelians are right.

52592 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



In any case, skipping all ballyhoo,
Let's just turn to their theory of Value.
Perhaps here's at least theory
That's somewhat less dreary.
(Even though it might still fail to wow you!)

52593 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



Unlike Plato, ones Good's overreaching's
Not a factor in this systems teachings.
Here's the truth, be it known,
Is "To each one its own"
(Though each "one", it turns out, is a species).

52594 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



Thus while "good" has mere relative force,
It's the species that's always its source.
It's not relative, then,
To mere women and men--
But to Man (as opposed, say, to Horse).

52595 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos



I was brought up on old Aristotle,
And won't change a jit or a tottle,
And that's saying a lot,
Not a jit, not a jot,
I won't alter--no, no, I'll nottle.

52596 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  C. S. Cook



As we ponder his thinking's anatomy,
Let's recall what a genius he had to be:
Though he founded Lyceum,
He got started by bein'
Prize Pupil in Plato's Academy!

52597 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P5111



Of contention, now, here's the first bone:
Do pure Forms have a realm all their own?
Here's the answer: they merely,
Save when wedded materially,
Exist only in minds where they're known.

52598 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9511



And our minds?--Well, they're merely those factors
That define us as rational actors.
So your mind--that's not you.
But some things that you do.
(Though you wouldn't be you if you lacked yours!)

52599 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9511



So while Plato would be disappointed,
I'm no psyche (as ancient Greeks coined it):
I'm a mind-body whole,
Not some hinde-bound old soul
Whose main wish is its hide never joined it.

52600 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9511



Trust, Pure Mind, insofar as I've got some,
Might survive though my body's mere flotsam.
But for me--no survival
Past the Reaper's arrival,
No matter how bad I many want some!

52601 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9511



Thus our souls (in their Reasoning fraction)
May indeed be divine their action.
But a life after death?--
Well, just don't hold your breath:
It's a drem that can't get satisfaction.

52602 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9511



Though no Platonist greets this with chortles,
Don't expect that you'll cross Pearly Portals!
Go ahead and say "Darn it!"
But by nature incarnate,
We're essentially bound to be mortals.

52603 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9511



Aristotle, a scholar so rare,
Thought so hard that he lost all his hair.
On his head and his chin
Where the hair had once been --
Why, all you see now, is the glare.

52604 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Neal Wilgus  P8311



That crafty old man Aristotle,
Took his friends to look at a bottle,
Saying, "Its causes are four,
No less and no more.
Glass, shape, vintner, and drinking full throttle.

52605 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  L S Sprigge



They say Aristotle was bright
And wisdom was always his plight.
If he so willed,
Then could he build
A ship in a bottle at night?

52606 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Jim Weaver Collection



As Aristotle, peripetetic,
Exhibited motion kinetic,
He induced mild nausea
By coming right toward 'ya,
Revolving with theories poetic.

52607 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Bruce Schneider



King Phillip a tutor he sought till
He finally chose Aristotle.
"To my son disclose
What ye know, he knows".
And so Aristotle taught till.

52608 PHILOS - ARISTOTLE  Irving Superior  P8308



Descartes, seeking what we could know,
Sought the point past which doubt wouldn't go.
For he thought most men lacked
Proper means to tell fact
From what ain't necessarily so.

52609 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



Of the modes by which mankind cognizes,
He insisted on more than surmises.
So that's why he said,
"If to Truth you'd be led,
Don't assume what you see with your eyes, is!"

52610 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



While dreaming, indeed, in my bed,
All those visions might still fill my head.
(And in fact--Why not add it?--
What's to prove I've not "had it,"
And have long since been dreaming while dead?!")

52611 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



And while this doubt is strange, yet I fear it;
Just suppose I'm beguiled by some spirit--
One so potent and ruthless,
I'm condemned to live truthless,
Doomed to seek truth, but never get near it!

52612 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



There is, though, release from this jam.
For not all that I think can be sham.
(One who says this is dubious
Would just show what a boob he is!)
After all, if I'm doubting, I am!

52613 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



Now perhaps this seems trivial--or nearly--
But in fact we should cherish it dearly.
For it helps us find out
What's immune from all doubt:
It's whatever's "distinct" and seen "clearly."

52614 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



But among its most promising lessons,
All this doubting sheds light on my presence:
While all else might be reverie,
Free of thinking I'll never be;
So it's Thought that comprises my essence.

52615 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9306



Thus with body and mind in convention,
We have mental and brutish dimension.
But the latter's no prius
When we know it to be us
Through a clear and distinct apprehension.

52616 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



Of course, if I want to speak strictly,
I can't posit the body too quickly.
To make sure it's for real,
I've got first to reveal
How I know that no spirit has tricked me.

52617 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



You might think a hymn is worth humming,
Once you see how this rescue's forth coming.
For it's God who's our savior,
And his own good behavior
Is what saves us from doubt that is numbing.

52618 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



If I know that a God's in existence,
Hyperbolical doubt's met resistance:
If it's He who's my genesis,
Then my fear's found its nemesis,
And I'm freed from its nagging insistence.

52619 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



To free us indeed from this vise,
Descartes moved not once but thrice.
For he proved in three ways
We're protected all days
By Someone, both potent--and nice!

52620 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



Now to many, these tries to unchain us
Don't deserve all the time they detain us.
Some would say: Idle wishes--
It's a circle that's vicious,
And a logic that's patently heinous!

52621 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



Without proof that it isn't Satanic,
How could logic erase sceptical panic?
Thus (to some) what comes first,
If your chains would be burst,
Must be something much more epiphanic.

52622 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



But aside from the crowing indignance
Of the fear that our bodies are figments,
Yet it's still strictly true:
None of that's part of you.
(After all, how could minds possess ligaments?)

52623 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



In any case, mind/body fusion
Can't be merely a hoax or illusion.
For if so, then our brains
Wouldn't send all those pains,
When our limbs suffer cuts and contusion.

52624 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9307



How to say, while they're two, and not single,
Why the Self feels one's Skin itch and tingle?--
Well the answer's at hand
In the Pineal Gland,
Where the mind and the brain intermingle.

52625 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



The mind, standing guard at this station,
Feels mere brain-states convert to sensation.
And, in turn, this position
Is where nerves, through volition,
Move the limbs, as effects of mentation.

52626 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



As for things in the animal section,
They've no need for such cause and effection:
Mere machines--they're as psychical
As a clock or bicycle,
Lacking minds to help give them direction.

52627 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



(Even humans could walk down the street
Without spirits controlling their feet.
With pre-programmed controls,
They'd be blind to their goals--
Though they smile and say "Hi" when they meet)

52628 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



Now from bodies, if God lets it be,
We're of course each potentially free.
When He finds it congenial,
I'll depart from my pineal,
Since that's part of my body--not me.

52629 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



Until then, I'll have no idea
What to hope for and what next to fear.
And who knows if, post mortem,
I'll just die of sheer boredom,
Lacking organs to see and to hear!

52630 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



But even while tenured on earth,
One's innately provided from birth:
Were all food for thought
Just what sense-data brought,
Human knowledge would be of no worth.

52631 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



What's the essence of matter: Extension!
Hence mathematics must guide by prehension.
But ideas of this kind
Only enter one's mind,
With the help of some divine intervention.

52632 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



Thus it's clear that, through sources empirical,
I see nothing that's perfectly spherical.
Such conceptions must then
First have entered my ken
By a method not short of a miracle.

52633 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



So there's no need to worry your head
That your life might be empty while dead.
If it's lacking the filling
That would make it all thrilling,
You can contemplate Euclid instead!

52634 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9308



"I am, thus I think," opined Les;
The poor boy was under some stress.
"That's not right."  A pause.
"I see now, of course.
I'm putting the Cartes 'fore the Des."

52635 PHILOS - DESCARTES



"I don't give a hoot,' said a particle,
"If I can't have the definite article.
If cogito sum
Pronounces my doom,
To hell with all systems Descartesical.

52636 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Conrad Aiken



In school I went right to the source
Of philosophies and of discourse.
My counselor said "Son,
You need only one
More class -- take DesCartes for the course.

52637 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Jon Gearhart



I think I am not going to pass;
So I'm not, that's the crux of this class.
The proof that Descartes
Was just an old fart --
Though I knew this, I still failed, alas.

52638 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Jon Gearhart



Is it true that a chap named Descartes
Saw a new metaphysical start,
Or could it just be
That you, he and me
Are your dream, you deluded old fart!

52639 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Peter Wilkins



Indeed it is all as you find:
Only down in the murk of my mind,
Do we three exist?
And because I am pissed,
We talk rot, as I'm sure you've opined.

52640 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Peter Wilkins



Dr. Johnson, when sober or pissed,
Could be frequently heard to insist,
Letting out a great fart:
"Yes, I follow Decartes,
I stink, therefore I exist!"

52641 PHILOS - DESCARTES  A. Cinna



One day, a man of good cheer,
Asked Descartes if he wanted a beer.
What the man got
Was "I think not",
While he watched Descartes disappear!

52642 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Bob Davies



There was a great thinker, Decartes
Who was severely plagued by his farts.
When he had to lecture,
His ass would conjecture,
But boy! That fellow had smarts.

52643 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Mr. Blister



To a girl that he liked a whole lot,
Descartes gave the gist of his plot:
"I think, so I am,"
To which this dear ma'am
Said, "Hell No! I fucking think not!"

52644 PHILOS - DESCARTES  MrMalo



Descartes sat down for a beer,
And a lady gave him a slight leer.
She grabbed for his dink,
And he said, "I don't think..."
And promptly Descartes disappeared!

52645 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Bluestreak



When Descartes said, "Je pense, donc je suis."
What he meant was, (I think you'll agree)
"My body's designed
To signal my mind;
I think that I have to go pee."

52646 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Bluebird  P9812



About that strange death of Rene
Who, sans thinking, one day passed away:
Askd, "Want a cocotte?"
He replied, "I think NOT!"
And then, POOF, disappeared! So they say.

52647 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Stu Lucas  P9703



Descartes sits down for some beers,
Between two chaps who are queers.
As one grabs his dink,
He declares "I don't think..."
And promptly Rene disappears!

52648 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Jim Weaver Collection



"I doubt and therefore I might be,"
Is more modern, you have to agree...
In an age existential,
Misgiving's essential,
But bewildered us both, you and me.

52649 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Tutta



Descartes woke one night and said, "Damn!
Sometimes I suspect I'm a sham.
For if I only think
That I think, there's a kink,
For it means I just think that I am.

52650 PHILOS - DESCARTES  A N Wilkins  P9412



A philosopher from France named Descartes
Scaled the heights of pure math and fine art.
In the fullness of time
His thoughts turned sublime,
Like, "I think so I am!" for a start.

52651 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Mike O'Conner



One night, when out for a beer,
Descartes was asked by a queer:
"Wanna bit on the side?"
Young Rene replied:
"I think not," and thus disappeared.

52652 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Tiddy Ogg



One fine day a man of good cheer,
Asked Descartes if he'd like a beer.
What the man got
Was just "I think not";
And he watched Descartes disappear.

52653 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Anon



Said Rene Descartes, "As I feared,
This bawd doesn't like being reared."
When she offer her twat
He replied, "I think not."
At which point he just disappeared.

52654 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Martin Wellborn  P8903



Descartes, he did not give a damn
'Bout opinions not proved; they're a sham.
Rene was a poet,
And did readily show it,
When he said, "I do think, so iamb."

52655 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Ed Hexter



A tyro philosopher named Quist
Was a Radical Idealist.
Imagine his terror
On finding the error
In assuming "Il pense, donc j'existe!"
(he thinks not I think - McW)
52656 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Indiana Millwart



When I think about what Descartes said,
You exist where you are in your head --
It is perfectly clear,
That I'm not really here;
I am inside your panties instead!

52657 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Jim Weaver Collection



'Twas said, "I think, therefore I am,"
And that could get you in a jam.
If on the off chance
You are in my pants,
I'll give your round head a good slam

52658 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Jim Weaver Collection



Renee had a sickly old Mum,
Who gave birth to a brother quite dumb,
The schools threw him out
For his great love of stout,
And "incognito <hic>ergo bum".

52659 PHILOS - DESCARTES



When Descartes was around, you could see
His opinions on life were to be,
Materialistic
And not idealistic;
So he gave us, "Je pense, donc je suis."

52660 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Bluebird  P9812



Descartes was born in Touraine;
He had a mathematical brain.
Rene's downfall,
If he had one at all,
Was the liquid that's made from a grain.

52661 PHILOS - DESCARTES



Descartes to a tavern was drawn;
Took a table outside, on the lawn.
Said the serving wench, 'Dear,
Would you care for a beer?'
'I think not.' And like that, he was gone.

52662 PHILOS - DESCARTES



There was a young student named Fred,
Who was questioned on Descartes and said:
"It's perfectly clear
That I'm not really here,
For I haven't a thought in my head."

52663 PHILOS - DESCARTES  V. R Omerod



The philosopher moped about, glum,
On account of his pecker was numb.
He found no solution,
But reached this conclusion:
"Non coito, et, ergo, non sum."

52664 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Robin K. Willoughby P8311



There was an old man called Dupree,
Who couldn't count higher than three.
He said, "Damn and God rot!
It is plain I am not,
Because si je pense, donc je suit."
(if I think, ????)
52665 PHILOS - DESCARTES  R. I.



A philosopher once, named Descartes,
Was explaining himself to a tart.
"Since I think--I exist,"
He remarked, as he pissed;
"But what does it mean when I fart?"

52666 PHILOS - DESCARTES  G1376



Irish philosopher Dustcarts
Did once pronounce in between farts,
"My wonderful plan --
I stink therefore I am!"
A rip-off of Rene Descartes.

52667 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Tony Burrell



A French soldier known as Decartes
Said, "I hope that you've taken to heart,
That without a safe line
To something divine,
Each is stuck at his self engrossed start."

52668 PHILOS - DESCARTES  L S Sprigge



A sweet 'tater said, "Oh, yes ma'am.
I'm sentient, and don't give a damn.
You may think it's jive,
But it's not; I'm alive!
I think, and so therefore I yam.

52669 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Kirk Miller



A parched Descartes went for beering;
When the barkeep said, throat clearing,
"Like another shot?"
Replied, "I think not!"
And then he began disappearing.

52670 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Daniel Ford



A student who lived in Montmarte
Had studied more Descartes that Sartre.
He said, "What's essential
Is not Existential,
But "We think, and therefore we artre'."

52671 PHILOS - DESCARTES  New Comic Limericks P8506



Every day, hermits Larry and Linc
Would debate what a hermit should think.
Paraphrasing Descartes,
They'd agree at the start:
"We undoubtedly are, for we stink."

52672 PHILOS - DESCARTES  Cybergeezer



Nothing's happy (in Nietzsche it's read)
With no more that its own daily bread.
Skipping "Can I?" and "Can't I?"s,
All things strive to aggrandize
And to get even further ahead.

52673 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



From a monk to the merest mu-meson,
It's sheer will that each thing has its base on.
Whether "dead" or quite quick,
That alone makes it tick
And provides each's etre with raison.

52674 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



Thus respecting the truth as our norm,
The Cartesians all need a reform.
But mere grammar's what's taught'm
"Where there's thoughts, something thought'm."
So we're perfectly safe to ignore'm!"

52675 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



In Fact, whether thoughts step on deck
Is a matter of will's call and beck.
Much is conscious, it's true.
But if so, it's all due
To the forces below someone's neck.

52676 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



Hence even the Schopenhauerians
Must fall short in their view of experience.
For each thing that's alive
Is a manifold drive.
So their theory's not true (though it nearly is!)

52677 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



While it's rare that such truths are avowed,
Each person is more like a crowd.
But don't look for democracy.
For each drive seeks autocracy
And won't rest till all others are cowed.

52678 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



Thus all willing, despite variations,
Looks for more than mere manifestation.
While you swagger or cower,
All your drives aim at power
And some share it in general inflation.

52679 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9407



But while power's what all our drives seek,
Many are and remain always weak.
These have no respect due--
Quite unlike select few,
For whom power exceeds normal peak.

52680 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



Yet others (And all their deeds show it!)
Have great strength in a form that's inchoate.
All their acts, "Good" or "Evil,"
Involve such upheaval,
They're less apt to succeed than to blow it.

52681 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



Still it's only by means of such passion
That we're freed from antique fad or fashion.
Now that God is defunct,
God-made "man" should be junked.
And those dangerous words: Adam smashin'!

52682 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



From our cradles, still whining and puling,
We're subjected to outmoded schooling.
After heaven's demise,
Here on earth let's get wise:
Good and Evil's my privileged ruling.

52683 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



But destruction's not all that we need
When we're trying to shape a new breed:
Apostate, Apostle:
One set free, one a fossil--
Either way, live your life by some creed!

52684 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



We'll see Superman given a boost
When our powers are finally loosed.
But unless these get aimed
Via values we've framed,
It's still mass-man that's ruling the roost.

52685 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



While the fictional hero's escapist,
So one knows, yet, what Superman's shape is.
But though Power's his "thing",
Don't infer, if he's king,
That he'll just be a killer or rapist.

52686 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9408



While he may not have typical graces,
Still he won't be a beast or papacious.
For he's (a) not one sided
And (b) always guided
By the future he sees as our race's.

52687 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9409



Of course, don't be fooled, it's not a breeze
To produce one or more of such prodigies.
It's a task that's enormous,
Since we're mostly conformists
And have wills even softer that cottage cheese.

52688 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9409



And the weak ones all feel trepidations
In the face of real strength's emanations.
For while they rule the world,
On their banner, unfurled,
Will read: Power to all tepid nations!

52689 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9409



If the power in question's through voting,
Then the weak might of course do some gloating.
But mere strength that's from gangs
Is like sheep that grow fangs;
Still sheep, though they don a wolf's clothing.

52690 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9409



With the aid of the Word of Our Lord,
Earthly rule was usurped by this horde.
From year One (Anno Domini)
What they preached was ignominy:
That the penitent's mightier than the sword!

52691 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9409



All the same let us hope, if not pray,
There's a chance for a new dawn of day.
Though he may be high-priced,
Let's all hail Antichrist.
And we'll hope he can show us The Way.

52692 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9409



That sad fellow, Friedrich Nietzche,
Was once a fine classical teacher,
Till a voice in his head
Told him God was now dead --
This became of his thought the chief feature.

52693 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  L S Sprigge



"If you're aristocratic", said Nietzsche,
"It's thumbs up, you're O.K., Pleased to meet ye.
If you're working-class bores,
It's thumbs down and up yours!
If you don't know your place, then I'll teach ye."

52694 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Gerry Hamill



That miserable bloke Friedrich Nietzche
Had one most extrordinary feature.
He used it to pester
A fat tart named Esther,
But luckily, didn't quite reach her.

52695 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Bill Wall



My ergo sum prefix, "Cogito,"
was arrested and changed to "Burrito."
Thus I am what I eat,
But I'll soon be a treat
For some eager, to meet me, mosquito.

52696 PHILOS - NIETZSCHE  Lawrence Berk



A toper who spies in the distance,
Striped tigers, will get some assistance
From reading Decartes,
Who holds that it's part
Of his duty to doubt their existence.

52697 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Leslie Johnson



But if he's a student of Berkeley.
One thing will emerge, rather starkly,
That he ought to believe
What his senses perceive,
No matter how dimly or darkly.

52698 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Leslie Johnson



That skillful lens grinder Baruch
Said, "Nothing can happen by fluke,
For nothing is free
From Nature's decree.
Free will is just gobbledegook.

52699 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



The philosopher Berkeley once said,
In the dark to a maid in his bed:
"No perception, my dear,
Means I'm not really here,
But only a thought in your head."

52700 PHILOS - PEOPLE  P. W. R. Foot



A philosopher, one Bishop Berkeley,
Once said, metaphysically, darkly,
"Quite half what we see
Cannot possibly be,
And the rest is altogether unlarkly!"

52701 PHILOS - PEOPLE  R F Ashley-Montagu



The Hegelian inclined Bosanquet,
Said, "It's really, you know, rather wet
To expect each finite chappy
To be well fed and happy,
For the Absolute ain't in our debt.

52702 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Said the soldierly mystic call Bradley,
"Please don't take my system too sadly.
It's really quite fun
Thinking everthing's One.
We should all feel unreal very gladly."

52703 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



As Bradley is said to have said,
"If I think that I'm lying in bed
With this girl that I feel,
And can touch, is it real;
Or just going on in my head?"

52704 PHILOS - PEOPLE  F H Bradley



There was an old man of Nepal,
Couldn't get Chomsky's wavelength at all.
While Teilhard du Chardin
Led him right up the jardin,
Levi-Strauss drove him straight up the wall.

52705 PHILOS - PEOPLE



That somewhat stout Scot, David Hume,
Said, "This cosmos of ours has no room
For forces or powers.
It's just hours and hours
Of impressions, then ideas, till the tomb."

52706 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Descartes was because he thought.
J S Mill for pleasure fought.
When it comes to philosophy,
What matters to you and me
Is how to behave as we ought.

52707 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Lynn Mostafa



That rather unnerving chap, Hegel,
Tied us all to the view to inveigle
That pure Nothing and Being,
Far from not agreeing
In becoming, are playboy and playgirl.

52708 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Martin Heidegger said "Don't repine
If you don't quite catch what's my line.
You don't need much German
To follow my sermon,
As long as you know the word "Sein!"

52709 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



His Critique of Pure Reason was good,
If not all that well understood.
Said Shiller to Hegel,
While sharing a bagel,
"If Immanuel Kant, who then could?"

52710 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Ogni Gioa



Said philosopher-physicist Jeans,
"How many or few are five beans?
Friend Einstein says four,
Five, six, or more;
But I don't bloody know what he means."

52711 PHILOS - PEOPLE  R. C. Owen



Such "logic," I'd say, starts with 'il,'
The chance that it's true is quite nil;
If true, it would stun
Both Johnson and Donne,
In fact, it would make them both ill.

52712 PHILOS - PEOPLE



That punctilious pedestrian Kant
Said "The realness of thought I must grant.
As for time and for space,
You may laugh in my face,
But call me genuinely real, I just shan't."

52713 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Said noted philosopher Kant,
"I need a more sexual slant.
I've delved into monads
But slighted my gonads --
Three cheers for a fresh stimulant!"

52714 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Armand E Singer  400



Long the dogmatic Kant was to doze
Till the day he encountered Hume's prose.
But that's mere correlation
And no justification
To conclude Hume's the cause that he rose.

52715 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Graham Lester



Of the garde, he was clearly avant,
Though with tendencies to rave and rant.
He retired for one season
But critiquing pure reason,
His cash flow said, "Immanuel, you Kant."

52716 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Loren Fitzhugh  P0307



PHILOSOPHY, realm of deep thinkers,
Poets, and other hard drinkers,
And some, like Karl Marx,
When up wrong tree barks,
Provide some incredible stinkers.

52717 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Chris Papa



Let the eugenist reach for his gun!
Would Keats have been Keats if A1?
And the world better off
With a healthy Van Gogh.
And a clean-living, right-thinking Donne?

52718 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Stanley J Sharpless



That worldly-wise Gottfried Leibnez
Had most of the angels in fits,
When he said, "You external relations
Are just private sensations,
From one monad to 'tother, nowt flits."

52719 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Said the Chinese philosopher, Lin,
"To trouble to work is a sin.
In bed I shall stay,
And the toil of the day
Will be finished before I begin."

52720 PHILOS - PEOPLE



There once was a tutor called Locke
Who said that the self's like a sock.
Thought the wool is quite new,
It's still really you,
Because it's been darned without shock.

52721 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



There was a young man of Thames-Ditton
Who found Sartre and Freud unbefittin'.
While Marcuse and McLuhan
He felt were just doin'
What's commonly known as bull-shittin'.

52722 PHILOS - PEOPLE  G2530



A brain in a vat called Putnam,
Said "Perhaps this whole world's just a scam.
Still my thoughts must refer
To their causes out there.
What they are, I don't give a damn."

52723 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



A hopeful old fellow called Rousseau.
Saw that man was not born bad, but grew so.
If you change his surrounding,
You'll find grace abounding.
You must turn the clock back to do so.

52724 PHILOS - PEOPLE  John Fay



Said the famous philosopher, Russell,
"One can come without moving a muscle
When sufficiently blotto,
Just watch Lady Otto-
man's bum as it bursts from her bustle."

52725 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Victor Gray



That gloomy old sage, Schopenhauer,
Said, "There's much more nettle than flower."
Nothing more he reviled
Than the person who smiled
And grieved not at Cosmic Will's power.

52726 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Cries of "Blasphemy!" often are hurled
When Spinoza's ideas are unfurled.
He said: Only in thought
Is God more than He's wrought;
So He's great -- but not out of this world.

52727 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Jim Weaver Collection



Biography's all about gloire,
Sensuality, money, pouvoir --
I am somewhat morose
'Cause de Spinoza:
It's always the same triste histoire!
(what do the frog words mean - McW)
52728 PHILOS - PEOPLE  E. Fox



When a man's too old even to toss off, he
Can sometimes be consoled by philosophy.
One frequently shows a
Strong taste for Spinoza,
When one's balls are beginning to ossify.

52729 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Robert Conquest



"It's the males should do housework in fact, chum,"
My wife said, which took me aback some.
But I couldn't oppose her
When she quoted Spinoza:
"Even Nature's a whore if she vacuums."

52730 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Don Moore  P9004



That temperate man, T H Green,
Said, "There's something divine but unseen,
Which spins the relations
Which makes our sensations.
A real world, if you see what I mean."

52731 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Much more than his novelist brother,
William James believed in the other.
"The I and the You
Are equally true,
Though we start and we end in one Mother."

52732 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Said Wittgenstein, "Don't be misled!
What can be shown, cannot be said."
He aimed to be sensible,
Not incomprehensible,
But wrote the Tractatus instead.

52733 PHILOS - PEOPLE  Peter Alexander



A weirdo yclept Wittgenstein
Called out, this whole word is "just mine."
But later he noted,
That an ego so bloated,
Had no room for mine or for thine.

52734 PHILOS - PEOPLE  L S Sprigge



Please don't think, though, if that's Platonistic,
Life's made drabber than faded old lipstick.
On Plato's itinerary,
Mere Logic's preliminary:
So once passed, we can still play the mystic.

52735 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



To hear Platonists spiel the oration,
Things all strive for amelioration.
But the Good yields direction
That's still short of perfection,
When it's seen through the veil of sensation.

52736 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



Still, philosophers shouldn't just stare,
Once the Good's seen all naked and bare.
Since (not dead) they're still human,
They should use their acumen
To take charge of Society's care.

52737 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



The view for which Plato's renowned--
The Philosophers all should be crowned
The Philosopher-King:
What a wonderful thing!
(If they only would stay on the ground!)

52738 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



In fact, though there's bound to be pain,
Coming back to mere shadows again.
So why seek the "cave",
And remain till their grave,
Once they've been in that higher domain?

52739 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



The answer, so goes Plato's wisdom,
Is found in a circular system.
If they're bred by society,
Then there's perfect propriety
In our claiming the right to enlist 'em.

52740 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



For Plato, society's plan
Picks one path for each woman or man.
If your wishes are contrary,
You'll get what you want rarely;
What you'll do is just what you best can.

52741 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



To be sure, though, it's mere prolegomenon,
There's some Good in each natural phenomenon.
But that's only a clue,
And of course wouldn't do
When we're trying to turn a real Brahman on.
(prolegomenon - critical introduction)
52742 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



Well, let's hope to give Plato some flak,
That he's at least been there and back.
For, if not, who's to rule
In that very first school,
Where we're told what we have or we lack?!

52743 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



In any case, kudos are due
To this thinker who thinks as few do.
Whatever his merit,
At least he's no parrot,
And what's more, gives us crackers to chew.

52744 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos



Plato said, "Getting children is right.
It's a duty a man must not slight.
But as for a measure
Of sexual pleasure,
It's the boys every night for delight."

52745 PHILOS - PLATO  A. N. Wilkins  P9210



"Something is, or is not--there's no median:
Simple falsehood!" said Plato , Athenian.
When a man spouts this dictum,
We're forced to evict him:
Let's just kick him right off the procenium.

52746 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



In the book of which Plato's authorial,
True Being is quite incorporeal.
But while matter falls short
Of what's actual 'tout court',
It's not null, but at least somehwat more real.

52747 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



Thus "Being admits of degrees"
Was among the Platonic decrees.
What mere sense makes apparent
At most has a share in't;
But it's never as real as you please.

52748 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



What's more real, on the Platonist's menu,
Has its home in a more heavenly venue.
Only starts in this firmament
Lend a meaning that's permanent
To whatever sensations might send you.

52749 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



Thus consider, for clarity's sake,
Shaping rings, and the shape they can take;
What we've made is material,
But their shape--that's ethereal--
Since it's rings, not their shape, humans make.

52750 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



On the theory that Plato deployed,
In itself, all of matter's mere Void.
When there's more that we're seeing:
That's its brush with Real Being--
Which affects it, yet stays unalloyed.

52751 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



Whether most will agree, then--or few will-
All of matter is basically dual.
But now what about us,
Who can know thing are thus--
What are we on Platonic construal?

52752 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9310



We're mere prisoners; our bodies are cells--
Fell from Heaven, yet why no one tells.
Only one thing is sure:
If our lives have been pure,
We'll go home after hearing death's knells.

52753 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



But for most--maybe eight out of nine--
Merely sensual living seems fine.
What they maybe don't know
Is that, after they go,
They're just apt to come back as mere swine.

52754 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



Only love for Platonic Ideals:
By its nature, that's all a soul feels.
But once it's been jailed,
It's of course soon assailed
By a gang of less lofty appeals.

52755 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



Thus a soul, somewhat fallen and blighted,
Might let more than one inpetus guide it.
To seek Wisdom's just one--
But now Fame, and sheer Fun,
Join the list of the things that excite it.

52756 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



Still, for those who'd regain their high station,
There's just one way--that's ratiocination:
If we let more attract us
Than rational practice,
We'll be bumped from return aviation.

52757 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



On the other hand--no point denying,
It takes time to get ready for flying:
Though to say it's to rue it,
There are few who can do it
Without several times living and dying.

52758 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



In any case, journey's inception
Is the data received through perception.
But that's only a start, of course,
Since our aim is to chart a course
To the Forms of which they're a reflection.

52759 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



From the very first things we cognize,
We'll perceive how our souls start to rise.
But we'll soon start to sink
If, instead of to think.
We're content when we're feasting our eyes.

52760 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9311



Our senses at most should remind us
Of a vision of Truth far behind us.
But were we more keen
Just on "making the scene,"
The whatever we've seen, will just blind us.

52761 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9312



Thus salvation from earthly confinements
Needs more study of Reason's refinements.
To reach heavenly altitude?
Only those will learn how to do't
Who "get off" on their Logic assignments.

52762 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9312



It's the Good--on the way Plato told it--
That's the Source from which Truth is unfolded.
But as source of all light,
In itself, its too bright
To let all but a handful behold it.

52763 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9312



Thus testing will give indication
Of the ones bound for high education.
The rest are then routed,
Insofar as they're suited,
To (a) Army (b) skilled vocation.

52764 PHILOS - PLATO  Lim Hist of Philos  P9401



A little known fact about Plato,
He invented the concept of NATO;
The Swiss Army Knife;
The inflatable wife;
And the trouserless jacket potato.

52765 PHILOS - PLATO  Bill Wall



Said Plato, "The things that we feel
Are not ontologically real,
But just the excrescence
Of numinous essence,
Our senses can never reveal."
(ontological - being or existence)
52766 PHILOS - PLATO  Basil Ransome-Davies



There once was a thinker called Plato,
Who said "this our world's second rate-oh.
It is just a poor copy
Of something less sloppy,
Where all is precise and first rate-oh.

52767 PHILOS - PLATO  L S Sprigge



A young scholar now takes the position
That Plato-despite what tradition
And philosophers claim--
Received his nickname
Because of his wooden dentition.

52768 PHILOS - PLATO  A. N. Wilkins  P9302



"Be yourself" is advice given gratis.
Those who scorn it, you'd think mad as hatters.
But the goal that's been preached
Couldn't even be reached
By the maker that some think, begat us.

52769 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



When god's worshipped as personal spirit,
Then religion's in fact incoherent.
For while concepts of deity
Imply their ipseity,  (individual identity) 

Nothing personal ever gets near it.

52770 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



Those aware what the Sartrian scheme is,
Thus may find that it's somewhat extremist.
While Faith is abjured
On the ground God's absurd,
Still to be Him's what everyone's dream is.

52771 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



Now denying we are what we are
Might seem more than a little bizarre.
Yet, the proud and conceited
Will always get cheated:
Their self-love's always love from afar.

52772 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



Be you friends, then, of bodies or souls,
Where you fit's in the same pigeon-holes.
Say we're body or mind:
Your mistake's one in kind.
For no person's a-being; they're goals.

52773 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



Undeniably, a body's one facet,
But not all we can count as our asset.
Still, it's not in the right key
To think of one's psyche
As a Cartesian Ego that "has" it.

52774 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



The psychical side of our coin
Is just choices of where we'd be going.
But the logic's a loser
That says choice needs a chooser,
So that my going's really Ego-ing.

52775 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9402



When I say that it's I who've intended,
I'm acknowledging history transcended.
(In a sense that's just "me",
But it's something I flee
By conceding that time hasn't ended.)

52776 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



While "I am" in the form of my past,
Yet I'm not, since that's something surpassed.
Thus the fatal deterrent
To just being current
Is that Now disappears so damned fast.

52777 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



In the Church-of-What's-Happening-Now,
All you'll worship's a dead sacred cow.
For it's harder to sever
Yet-to-come/gone-forever
Than to pull Ying from Yang in the Tao.

52778 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



So while those in Bad Faith may all fuss,
There's nothing that makes all of us.
If your faith's got true purity,
Look for me in futurity!
For it's never I am but: just was.

52779 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



Though the title implies derogation,
Bad Faith isn't mere fabrication.
If a lie, it's so common
Even bishop and brahman
Escape on at most rare occasion.

52780 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



Bad faith tries in ways more than one
To find Being where there's really none.
Thus while granting it's true
That we are what we do,
Some pretend that they are what they've done.

52781 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



(But the source of Bad Faith and its sham
Isn't always what's over the dam.
For not resting on laurels,
I'd be still out for quarrels
If I claimed there's some "I" that I am.)

52782 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



Thus Bad Faith, despite all its gainsaying,
Takes for Being what's really just Playing.
In the words of one sage:
Life's just roles on a stage--
From your youth to when temples are graying.

52783 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9403



Still, don't think, once you finally are grayed,
You can rest, since your dues are then paid.
For remember this fact,
From the first to last act,
You're no player; you're just a role played.

52784 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9404



From cool planning to maiden aunt's manias,
All our lives are thus really spontaneous.
Since no Self stands behind them,
There's no substance to bind them.
We're more mutable that even Lon Chaney is!

52785 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9404



And so why, as you ask with propriety,
Is there so much Bad Faith in society?
Sartre's reply, if we heed him,
Is fear of our freedom:
When Bad Faith says Goodby--Hi, Anxiety!

52786 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9404



Thus the age of commitment's paralysis
Sees Jung's archetypes and Freudian Phalluses.
To self-choice the response is
"Let's blame the unconscious!"
If you're anxious, try psychoanalysis.

52787 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9404



But such theories, however exotic,
Can't explain either saint or psychotic.
For to say what we did
Is the work of our id,
Is to say something quite id-iotic.

52788 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9404



An act's purpose is never laid bare,
Through a goal of which it's unaware.
To say these action's goals
Aren't in these but in those,
Is like dying your roots, not the hair.

52789 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of Philos  P9404



So for minds that have Sartiran bents,
Such advice is worth less than ten cents.
The main flaw in such "shrinks,"
As the Sartrian thinks
Is you'll never get Whither from Whence!

52790 PHILOS - SARTRE  Lim Hist of philos  P9404



An artist who lived near Montmartre,
Made imporper suggestions to Sartre.
But Sartre, with a blow,
At his hanging huis clos,
Cut his two existentials apart.

52791 PHILOS - SARTRE  Sir John Waller



A man in a cafe called Sartre
Gave the other chaps there quite a start,
By looking around
For someone not to be found,
But whose absence still haunted Montmartre.

52792 PHILOS - SARTRE  L S Sprigge



We all place a great deal of reliance
On the THEORY AND PRACTICE of science,
But the hopeful intentions
Of so many inventions
Can be quite buggered up in appliance.

52793 PHILOS - SCIENCE  E O Parrot



This "How to Hug" title sounds great!
I'll buy it," said Katie.  "No wait!"
Said bookseller Bart.
"I can't sell you a part
Of an encyclopedia, Kate."

52794 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Peter Wilkins



The story you told us above,
Occurred, too, to Lydia Dove.
She picked up a tome
She wished to take home,
The title it read: Learn to Love

52795 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Tiddy Ogg



"To Archie and Murph," said Mahalia,
"I've found a book that I'll soon mail ya'.
I'm sure, in a flash,
You'll be rolling in cash.
The title is: Aid to Australia!"

52796 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Observer



But did you hear about Beth?
She learned to love her old Seth.
Although he was old,
She really was bold
For she taught him Dancing to Death.

52797 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Bridget



Solving problems can be such a fright.
The answer can be wrong or right.
Defying tradition,
I changed my position
And I find that the end is in sight.

52798 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Tom Patton  P0108



Man's habits must alter, methinks;
He's treading on dangerous brinks.
He must exercise care
Not to foul up the air,
Or to piss in the water he drinks.

52799 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Albin Chaplin  3024-2705



Some men are renowned for their wonders
And others well know for their plunders.
And some stand apart
For their fine works of art,
While some have gained fame for their blunders.

52800 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Albin Chaplin  3024-2841



A goddess capricious is Fame.
You may strive to make noted your name.
But she either neglects you
Or cooly selects you
For laurels distinct from your aim!

52801 PHILOS - SCIENCE  L. Reed



Complex-problems solving is tough,
Good will, effort is not enough,
But formality
Tracks stupidity,
And forbids designers to bluff.

52802 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Thierry Cattel



In History's Mysteries vast,
The present's as strange as the past.
But before you condemn
Remember - pro tem,
You are also one of the cast.

52803 PHILOS - SCIENCE  E O Parrot



Though Sir James (God-Is-A-Formula) Jeans,
Holds the view that the stars are machines.
He admits that behind
The machine is a Mind,
Or a Minder apparelled in Jeans?

52804 PHILOS - SCIENCE  R. J. P. Hewison



Us scientists all work together,
Comprehending all things, high and nether.
Our ability grows
To crack the cosmos,
As is proved by our mastery of weather.

52805 PHILOS - SCIENCE  John Miller 0364b



The World, some are saying, began
Without any purpose or plan.
Nature never was led,
But just blundered ahead,
And reasoned things out as she ran.

52806 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Thomas Thorneley



There once was a scathing review,
Which blasted the work through and through.
It said that what's true
Is clearly not new,
And what's new is most surely not true.

52807 PHILOS - SCIENCE  David Morin et al



The latest religion is SCIENCE,
On which we place utmost reliance.
All thoughts of our seers
Are reviewed by our peers.
No one dares bring up facts in defiance!

52808 PHILOS - SCIENCE  John Miller 0364a



To publish first is prime;
This thought is often a crime.
When egos come first,
Watch out for the worst,
For the truth is often sublime.

52809 PHILOS - SCIENCE



The scientist, Hermann von Twist,
In his lab at his work would persist.
He boldly declared
He had answers prepared
To solve problems which did not exist.

52810 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Albin Chaplin  3024-2824



Practice without theory is blind;
Theory without practice isn't mind.
Take the best of each,
You will become rich,
And solve difficulties of any kind.

52811 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Thierry Cattel



This study's for science, you see.
It's not just to benefit me!
Results I will post
With some website host,
For all to make use of, for free.

52812 PHILOS - SCIENCE



To avoid being trapped by a spoof,
A man must seek adequate proof
To be certain the broth
Is composed of whole cloth;
He must needs know the warp from the woof.

52813 PHILOS - SCIENCE  Albin Chaplin  3024-2802



Socrates asked, "Why, pray, should I die,
I'm no great beam nor mote in your eye?"
Replied his tormentors,
Resenters, dissenters,
"It's those damned endless questions, that's why."

52814 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Loren Fitzhugh  P0301



"Don't drink!" they told Socrates,
"Escape with your wife overseas!"
"Hemlock or wedlock,"
He said, "is a deadlock --
I'll have one for the road, if you please."

52815 PHILOS - SOCRATES  History Pun Chimera P0108



The method we know as Socratic
Was invented in Socrates' Attic.
It combines a pretense
Of naive innocence
With questions sly and dramatic.

52816 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Laurence Perrine  P9211



Old Socrates made an impression
With debate and sagacious expression.
He did not corrupt youth,
While he searched for the truth.
It was the world's oldest bull session.

52817 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Al Willis  TP9802



And then they heard Socrates cry,
"This hemlock tastes too much like lye.
Why can't it be
The maple tree,
And then how sweet 'twould be to die."

52818 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Irving Superior  P8205



They say Socrates knew quite a bit
And was finally jailed for his wit.
But that myth's for the birds.
Check his actual last words:
"You mean hemlock is poison? Oh Shit!"

52819 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Don Moore  P9401



Said Socrates, keeping his poise,
"Tell Xanthippe, I've done with her noise.
If she asks what you mean,
Just say, when last seen,
I was drinking with some of the boys."

52820 PHILOS - SOCRATES  John Ciardi



Despite all that Socrates noise
And the trial tale that Plato employs,
He corrupted the youth,
Not by telling the truth,
But chiefly by buggering boys.

52821 PHILOS - SOCRATES  A. N. Wilkins  P8909



It seems Socrates made people weary
With his fondness for quibbling and query.
After asking "What's virtue?"
Step by step, he'd discourage you,
By refuting your favorite theory.

52822 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9309



Since negation apparently thrilled him,
As a nihilist many had billed him.
"By so questioning truth,
You've corrupted our youth!"
They then passed the hemlock that killed him.

52823 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9309



Because wisdom's not easy to master,
His pursuit thus expired in disaster.
How much "Wiser the Sophists,
Who for reasonable profits,
Could provide it a hundred times faster!

52824 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9309



Still, through Plato's (his pupil) survival,
His ideas were assured a revival.
They were right for their time,
But his countrymen's crime
Simply made them postpone their arrival.

52825 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9309



Said Socrates, while in his cell,
"I drank it and I don't feel well.
If I may opine,
It tasted like wine.
The hemlock I cannot expel.

52826 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Al Willis  P9710



The great Greek philosopher Socrates,
Pondered deeply on how the world rotates.
But his work came to naught,
Because most of man's thought
Originates in his macho nates.

52827 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Arthur Deex  P0108



I once knew a gal Phyllis Sophical
Who lived in a region quite tropical.
She'd often reflect
On how Socratic
Observations today are still topical.

52828 PHILOS - SOCRATES



Who's wish to be wed to Xanthippe?
When Socrates took his last sip, he
Died slowly, feet first,
After which his wife cursed,
And remarked that her husband was dippy.

52829 PHILOS - SOCRATES  Nicholas Goodison  P9709



Lady Heloise took, as her suitor,
Peter Abelard, scholar and tutor.
But her nasty old uncle
Made him live like a monk will,
By changing his gender to neuter.

52830 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9305



So this tragic logician and poet
Loved the lady, but had to forego it.
For her family made haste
To unfasted his waist
And cut short what he carried below it.

52831 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9305



(Yes I know!--though I chose to append him--
Such details aren't my proper agendum.
What should interest us, finally,
As one's vies doctrinally,
Not the fate that befalls his pudendum.

52832 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9305



As for doctrines this thinker brought forward,
In their day, they were hardly ignored.
But although it's no crime
To commit them to rhyme,
If I did so, I'm sure you'd be bored.

52833 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9305



Not too far from Miletus by birth,
He found Athens of somewhat more worth.
Or at least that's his attitude,
Till expelled, with ingratitude,
For saying the moon's made of earth.

52834 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9503



Not just four now, but ever so many!--
Thus the man from the town of Clazomenae.
And no portions you find
Lacks for some of each kind:
Want some gold? Well, there's some in each penny!

52835 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9503



Thus let's not--to give pause for a minute--
How his thought has a flaw to begin it:
Each natural item
Splits ad infinitum.
So he thought each has everything in it.

52836 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9503



Anaxagoras then, had supposed
What things "are" is just what they are most.
Would you call a thing such?
It depends on how much.
(Otherwise, your whole meal's in your toast!)

52837 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9503



To be fair, though, he'd also maintain,
Not all being is quite this mundane.
For who'd dare be so blind
As to think Cosmic Mind
Could exist on so tawdry a plane?!

52838 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9503



So far as we know this man textually,
Cosmic Mind does its work intellectually.
He found Sicily's mystic
Too physicalistic,
When he viewed it as functionally sexually!

52839 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9503



To this thinker, were water ubiquitous,
Cosmic law would be wholly iniquitous.
Whether hotter or cooler,
If water's the ruler,
There'd be nowhere that isn't where liquid is.

52840 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



Unless cosmic injustice is gross,
There's a source from which everything flows.
So it's not only prior
To earth, wind, and fire,
But more basic than pure H2O is!

52841 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



Well what's that, I might ask, if not air?
(After all, as you'll grant, it's quite bare!)
And what doesn't seem airy?
That's just how it would vary
When it's made either denser or rare.

52842 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



So the Water that Thales as bound to:
What in fact does it really amount to?
It's just air we decree,
But of different degree.
For that's all in the end it boils down to.

52843 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



Water, Air, or whatever the rage is--
Here's a truth that's survived through the ages:
Don't just ask "What's it made of!"
But become quantitative,
And attack it with rulers and guages.

52844 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



On the world-view these thinkers acknowledged,
All internal distinction abolished.
Throughout the world's areas,
Only two thing are various:
A thing's size, and how smoothly it's polished.

52845 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9504



What are "things" then?--the Atomists quiz you.
There no question more suited to busy you!
Well, to answer the riddle:
They're all hard and quite little.
And whirling so fast it would dizzy you.

52846 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9504



For the Atomists--should we go back to 'm--
There's just 'atoms' surrounded by vacuum.
What they're made of, you query us?
That remains quite mysterious:
They alone are what seemed to be fact to 'm.

52847 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9504



Thus the Atomist's favorite theme:
Things are never the same as they seem.
Be they smooth or more spiny,
Since they're all very tiny,
Human eyes aren't permitted to see 'm.

52848 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9504



As for "fact", when our senses inform us,
The distortion's no less than enormous.
For what's seen's (per this wisdom)
Just our own nervous system,
After hordes of those little things storm us.

52849 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9504



A mystical poet from Sicily,
He gave science romantic simplicity:
Earth, air, fire, and water
Formed his natural order.
Love and Hate kept them moving unceasingly.

52850 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9502



So (dispensing with hollow amenities),
There's some error espoused by Parmenides.
Though our basis is static,
Still it's not Eleatic.
For it moves to form countless identities.

52851 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9502



Though their action's in general concommitant,
Cosmic cycles have one force that's dominant.
Through pure Hate, natural articles
Tend to burst into particles.
Through pure Love, general merger is prominent.

52852 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9502



Time alone, though, gives grounds to maintain
Whether Loving or Hate's on the wane.
Are we heading toward fusion
Or complete dissolution?
Never mind, it'll all come again.

52853 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9502



Were we awed by what struck Heraclitus,
We'd have movement and flux to excite us.
Life's a stream not stepped twice in,
Is a thought that's enticing',
Just like "Fish in it never twice bite us!"

52854 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9412



Wherever we're stationed or quartered,
We can see that the world is well-ordered.
But the form one admires
Is much like a fire's.
That strike something more evely bordered

52855 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9412



Thus our logic may lack the perfectitude
That Pythagoras proffered as rectitude.
But at least I"m not lowly,
Eating past'a fagioli,
Nor are sexual stigmas connected to it.

52856 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9412



What is truth? queried Pilate in jest.
Is it one, say, North, South, East and West?
Now in answer to Pontius,
William James makes us conscious
It's whatever works out for the best.

52857 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9405



Some say knowledge is finally perfected
When our thoughts and "the facts" are connected.
But what's fact to this faction
But some thought's satisfaction?
If it's more, after all, who'd detect it?

52858 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9405



Still, if pragmatist's ways are victorious,
Don't suppose that mere dreaming's made glorious.
Lacking practical differences,
Any thinker's bald inferences
Would at most just comfirm what a bore he is!

52859 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9405



Thus this theory, assuming you buy it,
Says you make a thought true as you try it.
So don't live like a hermit:
Got a thought?--Then confirm it!
There's no truth in ideas that stay quiet.

52860 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9405



Is there God, or a Heavenly firmament?
Are there values in life that stay permanent?
There's just one sure criterion
To base any such theory on:
How's one's life to be changed by affirmin' it?

52861 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9405



Whether science or mystical cult,
Here's a truth, then, as pragmatists cull it.
Don't prejudge--all that gets you is
The name Impetuous.
Simply try it, and check the result!

52862 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9405



The famous philosopher, Kant,
Said, "Why when I run, do I pant?
I fear 'twould be treason
To my Critique of Reason
To think I'm unfit, so I shan't."

52863 PHILOS - ZSERIES  C. S. Cook



An example of Kant's sterling wit
Was his theory that farts could be lit,
And it's said that all night
By the flickering light,
He composed his "Critique of Pure Shit".

52864 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Victor Gray



The cryptic philosopher, Kant
Announced, "I most certainly shan't
In my Prolegomena
Allow that phenomena
Are anything but what they aren't."

52865 PHILOS - ZSERIES  E F C



Der alt' Philosoph genannt Kant
Hat die reine Vernunft als Trabant.
Zeit war seine Buhle,
In seinem Nachtstuhle,
Ward die Zukunft des Weltraums gekannt.

52866 PHILOS - ZSERIES  L1452



The old philosopher named Kant,
Had pure reason for his playmate,
Time was his paramour,
And in his night-stool,
The future of time and cosmic space could be read.

52867 PHILOS - ZSERIES



Like Pythagoras, living in Italy,
What they say's awfully hard to take literally.
But they saound so emphatic,
Saying Being is static,
It seem clear they're not sayng it wittily.

52868 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9501



Of Parmenides, then, or of Zeno,
You'll be tempted to say "What does he know!"
If he thinks Logic proves
Nothing changes or moves--
Then he must have consumed too much vino!

52869 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9501



Still, Parmenides says, there's no doubt of it:
Being's such that there's just one amount of it.
Since Nonbeing's just fraught,
It can't even the thought;
Therefore, nothing goes in or comes out of it!

52870 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9501



Pythagoras formed a society
That saw numbers as objects of piety.
From mere ratio and fraction,
They derived satisfaction
Of a quasi-religious variety.

52871 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



The whole world -- if their view's not erroneous--
Is a God that's well-tuned and harmonious.
So of course they're estatic
When waxing mathematic:
As they do so, how much the more known He is!

52872 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



It was musical measures and ratios
That first hinted at vistas this spacious.
For each song, to these seers.
Was like Music of Spheres,
Tracing paths, each precisely curvacious.

52873 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



In addition, the group held canonic,
Knowing God makes your soul more harmonic.
For the more that you're partisan,
All the more that your heart is in
Attune with God's Architectonic.

52874 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



This, they held (like the cult known as Orphic),
We once had but, alas!, had to forfeit.
So let's ruse or keep falling
To a state (how appalling!)
Even lower than anthropomorphic!

52875 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



To insure such a fate's not eventual,
Don't give in (all that much) to what's sensual.
If you'd rather not worry,
Then it's reason you'll curry,
Or at least if you have any sense you will!

52876 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



It's pure reason alone that can glean
The proportions that shape the world-scene.
Only that's what can raise us
To share in God's graces.
(If we don't, by the way, eat a bean!)

52877 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



Yes, one part of this deal (should you buy it)
Is taboo touching sex and our diet.
Why no beans?  No one knows.
But the point, I suppose,
Is to help keep our lowly part quiet.

52878 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9411



What is Nature? or Truth? Who can probe them?
And Philosophers? (Once we disrobe them!)
Since their skill's just persuation,
Why not skip the evasion,
And admit that's the name of our Program?!

52879 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9505



Now while sophist meant "wise" at the time--
Who says wisdoms a gift that's divine?
So they charged to purvey it!
That's their right; who'd gainsay it?
(And who'd doubt, it's at least worth a dime.)

52880 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9505



On the other hand, skipping pretensions,
This new wisdom's mere grasp of conventions:
What persuades an Athenian
Might just strike an Armenian
As merely "sophist" inventions!

52881 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9505



So the Sophists made some people nervous.
Nonetheless, they provided a service.
For though non-metaphysical,
They at least became quizical
About values that lie on our surface.

52882 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9505



In the sermons of Bishop Augustine,
There's a stance that some say is disgustin'.
For on this, his terms,
We're worthless as worms,
Without help from the God that we trust in.

52883 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



Were we left to our ouwn poor devices,
We'd all wallow in vermin and vices.
Only Heavenly Grace
Sheds light in our face,
And first gives us an inkling what nice is.

52884 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



Though it might get some humanists miffed,
I'd be helpless without such a gift.
Born with Sin that's Original,
I'd be trapped in my pigeon-hole,
Without wings that give power to lift.

52885 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



And what's more--here's how weak our acumen is:
Nothing's known unless God makes it luminous.
The most trivial verity
Calls for graces and charity
That could only derive from what's numinous.

52886 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



(Incidentally, since numbers appease 'em,
Polytheists might share in this theism:
When Augustine's the boss,
Only one god can awe us,
But this one's, at the same time, a threesome!

52887 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



On the view that he clung to with brio,
God's a solo, but also a trio.
And ideas, he opined,
Are all thoughts in his mind.
(So he's also Platonic--though "neo-".)

52888 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



So from A, B, and C, down to Zeta,
If it's good, just say "Thank you Creator!"
And try hard--as you might--
To use all his gifts right,
So you also can say "See you later!"

52889 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9303



In the days that were still pre-Socratic,
Abstract thought was a trifle erratic.
So let's try not to sneer,
When from Thales we hear,
That all things are at bottom, aquatic.

52890 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



Thales theory, to quickly review it,
Is that everying's made from a fluid.
How it's done, he'd not venture,
Though he'd say, facing censure:
Don't forget steam and ice somehow do it.

52891 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



So three cheers for this man from Miletus,
And the view (though all wet) that he'd feed us.
You might say, "What a jerk he is!"
But his town now where Turkey is,
Spawned the first abstract thinkers that greet us.

52892 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9410



With a strange mathematical itch,
Strolled old Thales, the night black as pitch,
And while working a rum
Astronomical sum,
Fell tip over ass in the ditch.

52893 PHILOS - ZSERIES  A. N. Wilkins  P8506



Are procrustean efforts now find-
ing a limerick where none was in mind?
Though Aquinas once wrote
All the lines that you quote,
Supplication was first in his mind.
(about limerick unconsciously written by Thomas Aquinas)  
52894 PHILOS - ZSERIES  R. J. Winkler  P8507



Extinguish concupiscent fires,
Eliminate lustful desires;
Give patience and love,
A plenitude of
What humble obeying requires.

52895 PHILOS - ZSERIES  R. J. Winkler  P8507



O strengthen my efforts to rule
My passions and help me to cool
Attractions to sin,
Then help me begin
Considering virtue a jewel.

52896 PHILOS - ZSERIES  R. J. Winkler  P8507



O Lord, I can prove intellectual,
A Doctor, profoundly effectual,
Whose teachings are sure
If You keep me pure
With thought that are wholly asexual.

52897 PHILOS - ZSERIES  R. J. Winkler  P8507



This limerick's for purging my sin,
Ousting lust and desire from within,
Which leaves oodles of space
For agape and grace,
Plus humility, virtue, and gin.

52898 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Robin K. Willoughby P8507



Or here's Zeno, with Logic to show,
If you move, you're unspeakably slow.
Move from B to spot A?
Well, let's first get half-way!
But that's C--and you've still half to go!

52899 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9501



Well of course no one says, "Okey-dokey--
So Beings unspeakably pokey!"
Still, a double millenium
Had elapsed before anyone
Was quite clear when the argument's hokey.

52900 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9501



Be these proofs, though, still living or dead,
Don't forget where we're finally led:
With these two from Elea,
We can get the idea
That an argument's good for your head.

52901 PHILOS - ZSERIES  Lim Hist of Philos  P9501