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Ball of Kerrimuir.
Have you ever heard about the ball at Kerrimuir?
Oh, there were four and twenty harlots there, a fucking on the floor.
Singing -
Who'll do me this time, who'll do me now?
The one who did it last time must have used a plough.
There was fucking on the staircase, there was fucking in the ricks,
And you couldn't hear the music for the swishing of the pricks.
The whore of Muir she was there, she kept us all in fits,
Jumping off the mantle piece and landing on her tits.
Now, Angus McTavish he was there, it was an awful shame,
He fucked a women forty times and wouldn't take the blame.
Four and twenty virgins came down from Inverness
And when the ball was over there were four and twenty less
The bride was in the parlour explaining to the groom
The cunt to the arsehole was the way to the womb
The village blacksmith he was there, a mighty man was he
With forty pounds of foreskin to dangle on his knees.
A minister he was there and he was dressed in black
He spun around his wooden leg and pissed against his back
The minister's wife she was there and she was dressed in green
She swore she had the biggest cunt that ever man had seen.
The minister's daughter she was there and she was dressed in blue
They got her up against the barn and boy did she coo
There was fucking in the hallway there was fucking on the stairs
Till you couldn't see the carpet for the cum and curly hairs
Now, Willy Reilly he was there, a most disgusting brat
Amusing himself, and abusing himself, and catching it in his hat
Oh, Annie Laurie she was there the dirty little runt,
With poison ivy around her arse and thistles round her cunt
Farmer Jones was reimbursed by passing round the hat
For forty acres of his corn was fairly fucking flat
When the ball was over they all went home to rest
They said the ball was lovely but the shagging was the best
Additional verse Ball of K
Oh the parson's daughter she was there
The dirty little whore
She'd been fucked so many times
She had to get re-bored.
Additional verse Ball of K
They were fucking in the halls and fucking on the stairs
You couldn't hear the music for the clicking of their balls