ID: 1247
Date: 1940s - 2004
Title: Old King Cole
Gender: Male and Female 
Classification: Parody 
Rhyme: 

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for a light,
In the middle of the night,
To go to the W.C.
The path was dark and dreary,
The candle had a fit.
Old King Cole fell down the hole,
And came up covered in shit!

(Christchurch, 1990s)

--

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for a candle
In the middle of the night,
To go to the W.C.
Now, the moon shone through the dunny door,
The candle had a fit.
Old King Cole fell down the hole,
Up to his neck in shit!

(Coromandel, 1940s)

--

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for a light,
In the middle of the night,
To go to the W.C. (Waimate, 2000; Waikari, 1998)
The wind blew on the dunny door,
The candle had a fit.
Old King Cole fell down the hole,
Up to his knees in shit.

(Ashburton, 1998; Christchurch, 2000)

--

Old King Cole was a merry old soul.
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his cake,
And called for his pie,
And called for his toilet, wee, wee.

(Christchurch, 1990)

--

Old King Cole
Was a smelly old bloke,
A smelly old bloke was he.
Until the desperate Queen one night,
Filled his pipe with dynamite.

(Nelson, 1990s)

--

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for a light,
In the middle of the night,
To go to the lav-a-tree.

(NZ ex UK,1950s)

--

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
A merry old soul was he,
He called for his fiddle,
And then did a piddle.

(Christchurch, 1996)

--
 
Background Info: Variations, see Turner, 1978:123:

Old King Cole was a dirty old soul,
As dirty as a soul could be.
He woke up his wife in the middle of the night,
And took her to the dunny, you see.
The lightning struck the dunny door,
The candle had a fit,
And Old King Cole he stuck his pole
Right up her raspberry split.

(Melbourne, c. 1935, 1967)

Old King Cole had a forty foot pole,
And he showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake 
And hit it with a rake,
And now it's only two foot four.

(Melbourne, 1962-1973)

There have been variations in the length of the 'member' from one foot four, ten foot, to forty foot. Legend of a similar theme circulates in New Guinea highlands.

==

Onwuchekwa, 2003:103 records version from urban black America:

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
Tried to get to heaven on a telephone pole.
One foot slipped, the other one fell.
He didn't get to heaven, but he made it down to hell.

==
 
Keywords: scatological, bawdy, 
Location: Various NZ 
Group size: 2 
Incidence: 10