ID: 255 Date: 1960s-2006 Title: On top of Mt Egmont Gender: Male and Female Classification: Parody Rhyme: On top of Mt Egmont, (Everest) All covered in sand, I shot my poor teacher, With a grey rubber band. I shot her with pleasure, I shot her with pride I couldn't have missed her She was forty foot wide. I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, (Hawarden, 1990s) Her coffin went up, her coffin went down, Her coffin went splat all over the ground. I looked in her coffin, she still wasn't dead, So I got my bazooka and blew off her head. (Auckland, 1990s x 2; Wellington, 1990s x 2; Thames, 1990s; Ashburton, 2006) -- I shot my poor teacher, With a grey rubber band, I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, Her coffin went up, Her coffin went down, Her coffin went splat all over the ground. I looked in her coffin, she still wasn't dead, So I got my bazooka and blew off her head. Her head went flying, Up into the sky, The All Blacks kicked it, And scored a great try. (Northland, 2000) -- On top of Old Smokey All covered in grass, We saw our old mate there, With his big, bare arse. (Rotorua, 1970s) -- On top of Australia, All covered in blood, I had to shoot Barney, With a 44 stud. I looked in the paper, And he still wasn't dead. So I pulled out my bazooka, And blew off his head. I went to his funeral, I went to his grave, People threw flowers, I threw a grenade. (NZ, 1990s) -- On top of Old Smokey Where nobody goes. Lay Marilyn Monroe, Without any clothes. Along came Hop-a-long Cassidy, Clippidy clop. Down went his trousers And in went his cock. (Auckland, 1960s) -- On top of spaghetti, All covered in cheese, I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table, And onto the floor, And then my poor meatball, Rolled right out the door. (Christchurch, 1970s x 2; Diamond Harbour, 1990s) It rolled in the gutter, Then under a bush. And early next summer, It was nothing but mush! (Auckland, 1970s x 2; Tauranga, 1977; Wellington, 1990s) -- On top of Mount Everest, All covered in blood, I shot my poor teacher, With a 44 slug, (big rubber band) I shot her with pleasure, I shot her with pride I couldn't have missed her She was 40ft wide. I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, Her coffin went up, Her coffin went down, Her coffin went splat all over the ground. I looked in her coffin, she still wasn't dead, So I got my bazooka and blew off her head. (Rangiora, 1990s; Porirua, 1990s; Runanga, 2003) -- On top of old Smokey, All covered in grass, I shot my poor teacher, Right up the arse. I shot her with pleasure, I shot her with pride I couldn't have missed her She was 40ft wide. I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, Her coffin went up, Her coffin went down, Her coffin went splatter, All over the ground, I heard on the news, That she wasn't dead, So I got my dad's axe, And chopped off her head. (Dunedin, 2003) -- On top of a mountain, All covered in snow, I shot my poor teacher, With a double string bow, She rolled off the mountain, And under a bush, A thousand years later, She was nothing but mush. I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, I went to her coffin, To see if she's dead, I pulled out a bazooka, And blew off her head. (Wellington, 1990) -- On top of Old Smokey, All covered in sand, I shot my poor teacher, With a grey rubber band. I shot her with pleasure, I shot her with pride I couldn't have missed her She was 40ft wide. I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, (Whangarei, 1970s; Ashburton, 1990s) Her coffin went up, Her coffin went down, Her coffin went splatter, All over the ground, I looked in her coffin, She still wasn't dead, So I got my bazooka And blew off her head. (Christchurch, 1990; Kaitaia, 1990; Motueka, 2000) -- On top of a mountain, All covered in blood, I jumped on my teacher, With a 40 foot stud I went to her funeral I dug up her grave Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, There was a commotion, She wasn't quite dead, I got a bazooka, And blew off her head. (Dunedin, 1990) -- On top of Old Smokey, all covered in snow, I shot my own teacher, with a arrow and bow, I shot him with pleasure, I shot him with pride, I couldn't have missed him, he was 40 foot wide, We went to his funeral, we went to his grave, Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade, He woke up as a zombie, to teach us a game, So on top of Old Smokey, we shot him again. (Sheffield, 2006) -- Background Info: Comment in Factor, 1988:158-159, related to rhymes that "ridicule those who hold power. Teachers and the institution they control (school) are the butt of many verbal assaults." These rhymes allow children to express anger and frustration, while at the same time laugh at those who hold power over them. On top of a mountain All covered in blood, I shot my poor teacher With a four-forty slug. I done it with pleasure, I done it with pride, I went to the funeral But just for the ride. I went to the funeral, I went to the grave, I didn't throw flowers, I threw a grenade. == Variation of American folksong, beginning, "On top of Old Smokey, all covered in snow, I lost my true lover, for loving her so.." see Turner, 1978:76. == Discussion also in Knapp & Knapp, 1976:174-176. == Keywords: authority, violence, NZ culture, rugby, bawdy Location: Various NZ Group size: 5 Incidence: 30