ID: 69
Date: 1940 - 2006
Title: Mary had a little lamb
Gender: Male and Female
Classification: Parody
Rhyme:
Mary had a little lamb,
She left it in the closet,
Every time she let it out,
It left a small deposit.
(Awanui, 2000; Ashburton, 1990s; Ashburton, 2006)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
And now she takes it to school,
Between two slices of bread.
(Methven, 1970s; Waiuku, 1970s; Auckland, 1990s; Christchurch, 1990 x 3; Twizel, 1997; Rotorua, 2000)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She fed it castor oil,
And everywhere that Mary went,
It fertilised the soil.
(Papakura, 2000)
--
Mary had a little cow,
She fed it safety pins,
And every time she milked that cow,
The milk came out in tins.
(Wellington, 2000)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
A funny chap called Fred,
She carried it to school with her,
Between two bits of bread.
(NZ, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
And stuck it to a pylon,
Ten thousand volts went in its head,
And now its wool is nylon.
(Christchurch, 1990s x 4; Auckland, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
It wasn't house trained so,
Everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.
(Christchurch, 1990)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
Its feet were covered in blisters,
Now its burning in the paddock,
With all its brothers and sisters.
(Christchurch, 2003 - related to foot and mouth disease scare in Britain 2001)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She tied him to the heater,
Every time he turned around,
He burned his little seater.
(Nelson, 1990s - also recorded in Australia, c. 1910 ("Play and Folklore", Issue 4, 1983:4)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham.
Some ice-cream and some soda fizz,
Oh, how sick our Mary iz!
(NZ, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little dress,
It was light and airy.
I never saw the dress that much,
But, boy, did it show Mary.
(Ashburton, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
It loved to play and frolic.
She threw it in the air one day,
And caught it by the bollocks.
(NZ ex UK, 1950s)
--
Mary had a little sheep,
And with the sheep she went to sleep.
( She took it to bed to warm her feet.)
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
And now Mary has a little lamb.
(Gisborne, 2002; Palmerston, 2000)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
It acted very silly,
Each time it jumped the fence,
It caught its little willy.
(Hamilton, 2000; Wellington, 1980s; Thames, 2000; Awanui, 2000; Auckland, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She fed it rum and colic,
Now poor Mary has a lamb,
That is an alcoholic.
(NZ, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
It had a touch of colic,
She fed it brandy (rum) twice a day,
And now it's alcoholic.
(Wellington, 2000; Palmerston, 2000; Porirua, 2000; Nelson, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was black as soot,
And everywhere that Mary went,
His sooty foot he put.
(Christchurch, 1970s; Auckland, 1970s;)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
And some chunks of meat,
She put them in a sandwich.
She thought it was a treat.
She chewed them up so very well,
And said, "Vegetarians can go to hell."
(Auckland, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She put it in a bucket,
Every time it jumps out,
Mary would yell..
"Get back in there you naughty lamb."
(Hastings, 2002)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
She threw it out the window.
The window, the window,
The second story window.
And everywhere that Mary went,
She threw it out the window.
(Auckland, 2002; Lower Hutt, 2006)
--
Mary had a little bear,
To which she was very kind,
Everywhere that Mary went,
You could see her bare behind.
(Christchurch, 1970s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
Its bum as black as charcoal.
Every time it jumped a fence,
A spark flew out its arsehole.
(Christchurch, 1990s; Tauranga, 2000; Timaru, 2000; Gore, 1970s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor was surprised.
But when Old MacDonald had a farm,
The doctor nearly died!
(Auckland, 2002; Blackball, 2000; Nelson, 1970s; Christchurch, 1990; Te Aroha, 1990s; Christchurch, 1990s; Nelson, 1990s; Haldon, 1970s; Gisborne, 2001)
--
Mary had a little lamb
Who sat beside the heater.
Every time he turned around,
He burned his little peter.
(NZ ex USA 1940)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear.
Although I've seen her little lamb,
I've never seen her bare.
(NZ ex Australia, 1960; NZ ex South Africa, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham,
And boy, was she sick!
(Rotorua, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them on the mantelpiece,
To see if they would..
Fall off.
(Hamilton, 2000; Auckland, 2000; Christchurch, 1990s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them in her schoolbag, (mantelpiece)
To see if they would fuck.
(Thames, 1990s; Gore, 1970s; Christchurch, 1990s x 3; Oxford, 1980s)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a drawer,
And every time she let it out,
It peed upon the floor.
(Whangarei, 2000)
--
Mary had a little lamb,
It piddled on the floor.
Mary had to wipe it up,
And throw it out the door.
(Christchurch, 1940s)
--
Background Info: Turner, 1978:120 -121 includes numerous variations on this popular parody from 1962-1973 including:
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as cotton,
And every time it jumped the fence
It hurt its little bottom.
(Melbourne, 1962-1973)
Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket,
And every time she went to town,
The bulldog used to fuck it.
(Melbourne, 1973)
==
Variation, Schwartz, 1992:20:
Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham,
A little egg, a little toast,
Some pickles and a great big roast,
A lobster and some prunes,
A glass of milk, some macaroons.
It made the waiters grin,
To see her order so,
And when they carried Mary out,
Her face was white as snow.
==
Keywords: bawdy, scatological, topical
Location: Various NZ
Group size: 1
Incidence: 72