Signifying Monkey

The Signifying Monkey

There hadn't been no shift for quite a bit, so the Monkey thought he'd start some of his signifying shit.

It was one bright summer day the Monkey told the Lion "There's a big bad burly mother-fucker livin' down you way.

He said, "You know your mother that you love so dear? Said anybody can have her for a ten-cent glass of beer.

He say, "You know your sister that's old and gray?" Say, "He's the turd that caused her to be that way."

An the Lion knew that he didn't play the Dozens and he knew the Elephant wasn't none of his cousins,

So he went out through the jungle with a mighty roar poppin' his tail like a forty-four, knocking giraffes to their knees, and knockin' coconuts from the trees.

He ran up on the Elephant under the coconut tree said , "Come on you big bad burly motherfucker it's just you and me."

Now the Elephant looked at him glassily out of the corner of his eye said, "Go on, you tramp, pick on somebody your size."

The Lion jumped back like a little jitterbug to make his pass the elephant sidestepped and knocked him dead on his ass.

Broke three ribs and fucked up his face, he knocked his asshole out of place.

They fought all night and they fought all day, by the Lord's help the Lion got away.

Now the Lion come back more deader than alive, that's when the Monkey started some more of his old signifying,

He said, "King of the jungles, ain't you a bitch, you look like someone with the seven year itch."

He said, "When you left the lightnin' flashed and the bells rung, you look like something been damn near hung."

He said, "Whup! Motherfucker don't you roar, I'll jump down on the ground and beat your funky ass some more."

Say "While I'm swinging around in my tree, say, "I ought to swing over your chickenshit head and pee."

Say, "Everytime me and my old lady be tryin' to get a little bit, here you come down through the jungle with that old 'Hi Ho' shit."

Now the little Monkey was dancing all around, his feet slipped and his ass must have hit the ground.

Like a streak of lightning and a bolt of white heat, the Lion was on the Monkey with all four feet.

Monkey looks up with tears in his eyes, he say, "I'm sorry, brother Lion," say "I apologize."

The Lion says, "Apologize shit," say "I'm gonna stop you from your signifyin'"

Now the Monkey got to think and think fast if he wanna save his little old hairy ass.

He said," Look, Brother Lion, everybody saw me when I fell out of my tree," said, "They know good and well that you're taking advantage of me."

Said, "But if you let me get my balls out this sand, I'll fight your funky ass all over this land."

Now the Lion jumped back and braced for a fight, the Monkey swings damn near out of sight.

For days and days the Monkey was gone, the Lion thought the Monkey was never coming home.

But the Monkey came back with two forty-fives, he said, "Come on, big old motherfucker, now you my size."

He said, "Member that day when I fell out of my tree?" He said, "You put your big funky feet all over me."

Said, "Remember when I looked up with tears in my eyes? You wanted to fuck me up cause I wasn't your chickenshit size."

Lion looks around with a chickenshit grin, he said, "Come on, Brother Monkey, me and you can be friends."

He said, "No more ro-roar shit will I carry on, when I think that you and the missus is at home."

He said, "Around your tree I won't trespass, because I want our friendship to last."

The Monkey still wasn't satisfied, he had the Lion beat: He had two forty-fives.

He said, "Stick you nose in the sand," say "I wanna hear you hollerin' all over God's land."

Once again the Monkey gets tickled and begins jumpin' up and down, his feet missed the limb and his ass hit the ground.

Like a streak of lightning and a bolt of white heat, He was right back on his ass with all four feet.

Now deep in the jungles in the still of the night, when the Lions roar all the rest of the Monkeys get the hell out of sight.

Email: gstanton@umw.edu