Axel's Story<br>
The Story of Axel<br>
Axel was born unto an impoverished family on the outskirts of a small port<br>
town known<br>
as Elismere, in the year 1507. When asked of his boyhood, he stated, "When I<br>
was a lad, we were so poor, thieves would break into our hovel and leave<br>
things. We were<br>
so broke we could only afford rickets in one leg."<br>
Indeed, life around the hovel was hard, and Axel did not make it any easier<br>
by trying<br>
to help out. He says, "As a child I was quite useless. I could not do<br>
anything right,<br>
and fixing the hole in my father's favorite seat was a classic example... it<br>
turned out to<br>
be the toilet seat! I did try though, but the only thing I ever fixed around<br>
the house was<br>
the cat.. and that was an accident!"<br>
Axel's story is a woeful one, fraught with misfortune. Because money was<br>
tight, food<br>
scarce, and good times nonexistent, Axel decided to leave his hovel, family,<br>
and friends<br>
(actually, it was just one friend, the village idiot, who had multiple<br>
personalities and<br>
psychotic tendencies). And so with an empty burlap sack and the rags on his<br>
back, Axel set<br>
off for adventure in the realm of England. Axel knew that his luck would<br>
finally change --<br>
and it did. For the worse.<br>
On the very night that Axel ran away from home, whilst wandering by the bay,<br>
he was<br>
abducted by a band of pirates. Though he fought valiantly, (if you can call<br>
crying and<br>
begging for mercy valiant) the lad was hopelessly outnumbered. He was<br>
knocked unconscious<br>
(the pirates were really sick of his crying and begging for mercy), and<br>
taken aboard their<br>
ship.<br>
For four long and torturous years, the pirates kept Axel as their lackey.<br>
They treated him like a dog, and hardly a day would go by that he wasn't<br>
flogged. In an<br>
exclusive interview, Axel spoke of his time with the pirates. "Aye, these<br>
pirates<br>
were mean. They were the kind of men that would throw a drowning man both<br>
ends of the<br>
rope. Why, they would stab you in the back and then have you arrested for<br>
carrying a<br>
concealed weapon."<br>
Life was hard for Axel, but as the years passed, he discovered that the more<br>
he would<br>
sing and tell jokes, the more the crew would laugh and stop hitting him so<br>
much. They even<br>
let him join in on their pirate games, like Axel throw, or bobbing for<br>
dorsal fins. And,<br>
while Axel was being dangled over the side of the ship for the third round<br>
of Dorsalbob,<br>
he dreamed of the day he would escape to greater things...<br>
Back to Axel's Pub on the Web<br>
Pages maintained by Huzzah! Internet Publishing,<br>
photos taken by Kathleen Akers, Scarborough Faire, May 1996. Last update<br>
2/9/97.<br>