Axel's Daring Delights<br>
Axel the Sot's<br>
DARING DELIGHTS<br>
Pickled Pork & Penguin Pie<br>
Ingredients:<br>
1/4 lbs. Pork parts<br>
1 Penguin<br>
Pickle paste<br>
Pea pods<br>
Peppers<br>
Prunes (Pitted)<br>
To prepare:<br>
Par-broil pork parts and place pieces partially in pre-positioned pie pan.<br>
Proceed with<br>
peeling penguin.<br>
Pummel and puree penguin pieces post-peeling. Promptly pour penguin puree in<br>
pie pan.<br>
Prepare pickle paste and apply to pie. Partition protruding pork parts with<br>
pea pods and<br>
peppers.<br>
Perch pitted prunes upon protruding pork parts. Chill and serve. MmmmmMmmm<br>
Body Baking<br>
Basically, the concept is to cook a meal using your own body heat, while<br>
your working<br>
out, jogging etc... For instance:<br>
Hickory-Smoked Armpit Chicken<br>
Simply cut chicken into halves, soak in special seasonings, tie<br>
(using twine) halves over shoulders, so that chicken segments rest<br>
comfortably inside<br>
armpits.<br>
Now go for your daily jog. After about four miles, your chicken<br>
should be ready.Yum yum. It's fast, it's fun, it's self-basting, but most<br>
important, it<br>
tastes Great!<br>
Workout time may vary, depending on how much heat your body<br>
produces.<br>
-----Here are some more ideas:----<br>
Honey-Glazed Cleavage Ham<br>
Pot Belly Stew<br>
Double Chin Chili<br>
Nape Of The Neck Bacon<br>
'Tween The Toes Tuna<br>
Crotch Brownies<br>
Butt-Crack Biscuits<br>
Use your imagination and invent your own dish. You can even cook<br>
more than one item at a time. Of course, stouter bodies produce extra heat<br>
and provide<br>
larger cooking areas, therefore the potential exists for more varied and<br>
larger portions<br>
of body baked food to enjoy-----------Bon Appetite!<br>
Lemming Meringue Pie<br>
Ingredients<br>
1/4 cup cream<br>
Pie crust (graham cracker)<br>
4 egg whites<br>
1/2 tsp. salt<br>
1 tbls. vanilla<br>
1/2 cup sugar<br>
2 medium sized Lemmings<br>
First you'll be needing some Lemmings To achieve this, find a tall<br>
cliff that is well known for its Lemming sightings. Place a large pot 15 ft.<br>
from the base<br>
of the cliff, (or a bunch of 'em if your having a party) and wait.<br>
Now, their are some of you out there who refuse to eat meat because<br>
of your moral belief's about the slaughter of animals. Well here is a<br>
delicious guilt free<br>
meal that virtually kills itself.<br>
Now if you've played your cards right, it will be around midnight<br>
and you should be hearing a low rumbling from above. Lick your lips, for<br>
soon it'll be<br>
a'raining moronic, moon chasing Lemmings...SLURP!<br>
To prepare:<br>
De-fur, de-bone and puree Lemmings. Pour into pie crust. Mold (with spatula)<br>
to fit pan.<br>
Separate egg white. Half whip whites. Mix cream, salt, vanilla, and sugar.<br>
Add whites and<br>
whip.<br>
Spoon over Lemming puree and bake uncovered at 450º for 45 min.---- Bon<br>
Appetite!<br>
Return to Axel's Pub<br>
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